Coming out Story - It Gets Better
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- Опубліковано 27 гру 2012
- This is my first UA-cam video and I made it to help others who are dealing with coming out or being gay. It's a bit longer than I wanted it to be but it has been something that I have struggled with for awhile so I wanted to tell the whole story.
I would love feedback or any questions or comments you have! If you need to talk about anything you're going through I'll try my best to help.
I originally had music but didn't want to deal with UA-cam's copyright issues. Here are some songs that I had lined up... go ahead and play them in the background :)
Sweet Disposition - The Temper Trap
Slow Show - The National
Silver Coin - Angus & Julia Stone
All the Wine - The National
Swallowed by the Sea - Coldplay
Don't Panic - Coldplay
With or Without You - U2
I came out in 1973 and I've been on the front lines ever since. I'm 63 now. I guess I don't need to tell folks how things were back then. Those of us who couldn't pass for straight couldn't get from one classroom to the next without being bullied. The teachers did nothing, our parents did nothing. I'm glad that you were spared that experience at least. Keep in mind that there are hundreds of thousands of young Gay people who can't pass and who are bullied every day. Going to school is torture, literally. I'm from NYC and until recently was the attorney for a homeless shelter for LGBT young adults. The number of young homeless LGBT people here grows every day. Thrown out of their homes by straight people who call themselves "parents," but who are full of hate. I enjoyed listening to this entire video, because I always learn from the experience of others. And as someone who has been Out for 46 years, I listen to these videos to see whether things have improved for younger LGBT people. I'm glad there are a few encouraging stories like this one. It is still troubling that so much of your young life was consumed by worrying (this is not a developmental experience that most young heterosexuals have), and also, lacking in normal homosexual dating, romantic experience and exploration. The developmental deprivation is not a good thing. Anyway, thank you for telling your story. I'm sure it will help those who are looking for answers.
Yes, having this burden growing up, and not being able to have the same experiences as straight people, is the reason we continue to fight for us to be seen as normal.
We've progressed a lot, but there's room for improvement
That info about young LGBT folk being turfed out of their homes is profoundly sad. I will never understand why (presumably) loving parents can turn on their kids in this way. Personally, I believe all of this hate originates with religion and disseminates throughout societies.
You had more courage than I had, I don't think anybody truly knows who I am, I don't know who I truly am, I am only a couple of years younger than you.
68 here closet for a long time but for close friends.
I am only two years younger. When we 'came out' there was no UA-cam to learn from. There was no internet to learn from. We were lucky if there was more than two books in the public library, not that we dared be seen with one. If we lived in a small town, where there were not gay bars, the chances that we would meet anyone who was out and proud was miniscule. We had to figure it out ourselves. Coming out is a process that requires a set of tactics and strategies , and contingency plans if things go bad in any given relationship or if the news gets out ahead of you. there are so many ways to screw this up, and nobody to guide you. It was a tunnel of darkness where now there are lights.
WOW. Great story. Such honesty. Great guy too. Smart. You'll make someone a great partner. I'm glad you found yourself!
Take a really deep breath and come out completely. Your a good guy and deserve to live YOUR life.
hi daniel, your coming out was extreily awsam. it hurts, it sucks, and its so real. congrads, you did it. your the first person i ever responded to on youtube. god bless this chanel. and you as well. im 50, gay, and inpressed by the boldnes of todays self outings. id love to meet you some day. i live in santa barbara ca, id love to talk to you. richard
Hey Daniel, thanks for sharing your story. How are you now?
Sounds exhausting. Hope you’re doing well.
Very impressed with this video. The moment you were without words was most poinient. I would hope that your coming out processe has progressed and become easier.
I was very unimpressed with this video. And as you said, the point at which you were without words WAS very poignant! That was the real you. Without pretense.
Stop hiding that or you will be locked in a padded room someday.
@@paulortiz8063what are you on about mr 3 years ago?
Great video, man. I remember watching UA-cam videos, too. It helped me come out watching others' stories.
I too had crushes on guys and then I married the prettiest girl I knew. I was miserable and then she found out because I had a break down. Iwent for therapy in a facility and my therapist made me tell her. She told my family and friends so it was out. You had far more courage by telling people who you were, rather than some who haded me. Finally I had the courage I just told most of the people I know and accepted their reaction. You did the right thing.
Congratulations Daniel on your courage and fortitude for sharing your coming out story, which (I'm sure) has inspired so many people, including me! I'm quite a bit older than you are, remembering how back in the 1980s and prior, when I was in my teens and 20s, it was much more dangerous, on many levels, to come out. It was like living a double life. To this day I still have one foot jammed in the closet, but just this past week I finally came out to two long time close Straight friends, and they were very supportive, similar to your situation. You are a beacon of Light, an angel sent from up above to help all of us! Hope you get this message, as your video is 9 years old. My post reply today is Apr. 26, 2021.
Great story! Thank you for sharing. Coming out is definitely a process, and everyone's story is different, although all have similarities. I started coming out in 1968, and find I still have to come out to some people. Moving to Jets Country was a big step for me. The difference is tat now more people accept it for what it is, and don't ask questions, or for proof. It does get easier, and you are a brave man
What a great story! Thanks so much for sharing! :)
Great story! Keep going and give us an update when you can.
Daniel, thanks for sharing your very gradual coming out story. From outside it’s hard to understand how successful you were in distracting yourself from your true gay self. But from the inside I fully understand that, as I am a very slow realizer too. Best wishes from Germany. Martin
Powerful stuff. Well done. 😀
This video comes to me nearly 8 years after you made it - good on UA-cam for sharing videos new and old. (they still have relevance!) How are you these days, Daniel? I'm especially hoping things went ok with your high school guy friends! You seemed really conflicted and sad near the end there when you were talking about not having told them yet.
Congratulations. You are strong and brave and deserve to live your life on your terms. I proud of you for doing what you did and having the opportunity to do it the way you wanted to. Please let us know how you are doing in the future.
You are awesome. Thanks for posting this!
Yeah, UA-cam just suggested this to me out of the blue but I loved it. Hope you are doing well
Great video. Well done. Important subject
You are a very cute and charming guy but your story rivals "As the World Turns" which was on tv for 57 years.
I would love to hear about your dessert trip and your living wit strangers experiences! Take care and enjoy life !I'm subscring you Because I know u got something else you want to share and I'm here for it☺️we all have beautiful and interesting minds and stories💯♥️
great one! pity you haven't made any more videos!
Hey Daniel!, wow its been 10 years since you posted this. How are things going for you now? Thank you for sharing your story with the world. I'm 43 now and went through the same path when i was in my early 20s. I still struggle here and there. Would like to connect with you if you are open to that. 🙂
I’m Glad you’re happier, truly, but to just say it gets better is without of guarantees. I loved getting a degree in liberal arts, with Political Science and History. I felt I had something to share with young people. But since it was legal to fire me for being gay, my dreams were crushed. It never got better, yes I had friends, but my life dream-to share my love of how history illuminates lithe human experience. It was impossible, so being a waiter was pretty much it. Don’t let anyone make your reach exceed your grasp. It Never Got Better No matter how I tried...
✨✌🏼👌🏼🌈✌🏼👌🏼🌈✌🏼👌🏼🌈✨you did great I really enjoyed your story it actually sounds like a movie I want to also do a coming out video so I can be a part of the gang and so I can tell the world about something I'm very proud of. And sometimes I just still don't feel free like I got my sexual point across..because a lot of people or should I say a group of people in my life don't understand it for me, like people always tried to push the opposite sex on me like they want to just forget how I feel, and it's not fair it can put you in an outcast lonely place.
This is a great story. Everybody already loved you.
Someone said: " it is better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for what you're not".
Not sure why this is still soooo difficult for you. But it seems you have a tape playing in your head, telling you stuff. Stuff that isn't true. Not true at all. You have to somehow rewrite that message in strong, reaffirming and accepting words.
If 10 percent of the population is gay (in all of its forms) that means there are like 30,000,000 people, pretty much, just like you, running around! And that is just in the USA. The world has about 7.5 Billion folks, so 10% is like 750,000,000 people. You are certainly not alone.
You are certainly not 'less than' or 'broken', not in any way. So if anyone tells you that, they are flat out wrong. Even if that person telling you that dumb stuff is you!!!
I hope you will go to a Pride weekend somewhere. Or leather weekend in Chicago, Memorial Day weekend, for a mega, mega dose of gay men gone wild!!!! If you go to that you will never be the same. Guaranteed! So I hope to see you there next year!
Paul, in Chicago
I always liked that quote myself; I wish I knew who originated it.
We need an update... 10 years later.
We need an update man! Great Stuff!
Thanks for sharing
Wow, you are awesome. I can't believe that you didn't do a follow-up video. Yes, l think you should. I think it would help others that are dealing with coming out.
Cute man and cute story. I would be interested in hearing your dating stories.
Would love to hear about your travels
You're awesome!
So, here's me trying to figure out why this guy is so darn relatable to me. Then the repeated references to "socials". That explains everything. In all my travels, I've only heard talk of socials in one place. Turns out were are from the same home town. Small world.
Yr adorable and I feel with you regarding your journey.
Yeah, UA-cam just suggested this to me and I'm so happy they did lol Hope you are doing well 😊
I loved your video....if there is any chance of an update nearly a decade later, it would be welcome...and help others to see that life does go in after coming out. I hope you will at least think about it.
It's mathematical to love both, you love yourself then you love him, you may have hunger for him deeply, you love her and likewise
I fell into your eyes....HELP...I'm drowning!!!
Hey Dan please come back with some updates, I really got into your coming out vid and was sadly disappointed you never came back with any fallow updates. 🤔🤔🤔❤
Very interesting, good job on your story; yes I watched it all.
Congratulations.
The captioning on this is really funny at parts
Watch the video without sound, and try to figure out what is going on!!? Hilarious as hell.
Sweet man you are cool and you helped me
I have to tell you this is no way to impress men you had your chance years ago and you just blew it off everybody you know by now at the end of this video All of your friends should have known 2 years earlier we should have been out on a date with this guy you met. You just have to loosen up OK I not have you have a boyfriend or anything yet and even know if you'll see this comment, Put on taking the chance to tell you don't let time fly by my God this is your time, Should be dating lots of guys until you find the one you want, But you have to show some excitement And some happiness, Really show it. I hope you're in great health in that your life is going great. I'm just seeing this for the 1st time April 2019.
I really hate the words: should, must, ought too, etc.
Way to pajoritive for me.
You’re very handsome, nice masculine looks. Alex from LA
UA-cam just suggested this to me and I'm glad they did lol Hows life in LA?
Deep, bro. Deep....
you r a nice young dude hope all is well from down under
I'm glad you weren't bullied for being gay--- but I hope you at least empathized with those who were and never joined in on the bullying yourself. It's a common defense mechanism those who want to 'throw others off the track'; they're tempted to join in.Those who can "pass" are often responsible for inflicting the harshest pain on those who can't.
Daniel, you are very much like me. Hope you have figured it out.
Daniel Leylek+
I realised I was gay at 8 years old
I was in love with my best friend
Greg Gautier we loved each other
This was back in 1972 in Niagara
Falls canada and his born again
Christian mother broke us up
And i hated her for it.
I left canada in 1977 and went to
England and lost contact with greg
I recently found greg's cousin
On Facebook
Shelly gautier she was a cyclist
Gold medal for Canada
Im going to leave her a video
On her facebook page
@@RealTreyOlds
Thank you
@@jourellelane1686 Wow, well I'm hoping for the best for you, maybe you guys can meet up again someday
@@redhood8141
Thank tou red hood ive been dreaming for years of meeting greg again Im still in love with him
But no avail he is on my mind constantly
@@jourellelane1686 Aww, I'm sorry. But hey, I'd call that true love, 40 years later and you still are thinking about him
@@redhood8141
You're right im still in love with him
Gay men together forever ❤🧡💛💚💙💜
I just come across your channel, and let me tell you , I'm so glad I did, I love your coming out story, and let me tell you, I listen to it from beginning to end and loved every moment of it. I hope that I am the lucky one that you respond to my comment, man that would be great if you did. I would be so honored and happy. Oh yeah, even though, at this moment, I haven't check your channel out, I just subscribed to it and will check it out. Love to hear from you sometimes, if nothing more, just reply and say hello to me. That would mean the world to me. But anyways, until then have a great Sunday. -Melvin - Sunday, March 1, 2020 - 1:43 AM America(Colorado)
Congratulations on your discovery, keep God #1 for direction, enjoy life. Your heart seems sincere. I love what I love too. This is just one part of your life. I've always known that I was gifted to love both. I was married and have kids your age. I love both sexes equally. Sometimes I want me (men) and other times I want her. Do I have multiple personalities, probably, is it normal, probably, don't let anyone judge you. God made you.
I hope that you do have a family that you come out to right because that would have to go was the story two so I will I didn’t know if you have done one but your family knowing about you being gay when I am curious about that?
Did he tell his family?
Go Jets Go! Yup, used to be a Canucks fan till I got my home team back :)
Lol Hope you are still doing well bud, its been over 6 years but your story is still inspiring
Wow. That long video and no follow up. Very interesting. What happened to you?
I want to meet you!
So how have things been the last 10 years? 😀
That's why I never drunk until I was in my late 20s, same reason!
Same here. I don't drink around my family at family functions cause I become more myself and they are quite judgemental. Prefer not to open that door.
🌈🥰✨
I like you a lot.
you so cute
You need to sort out the sub titles
Hi Daniel. My name is Daniel also in Hebrew our name means JUDGE. Or God is my Judge. So don’t let anyone tell you what or when you should tell anyone about your self. You have t authority to Judge that for yourself 👍🌈💜🇺🇸⭐️💙🏳️🌈✝️✡️🕎
You are so dreamy, oh mah gaw
Are you arabic, perhaps? Random
yes I thought the same❤❤ he Is gorgeous in my opinion❤😍💓
Bonjour de France....Déjà 8 ans. Peut-être liras-tu ma demande? Que deviens-tu?✉
r/im14andthisisdeep
Why are gay guys so handsome and cute and beautiful?
Also, let me supplement, the brains chemical hormones fluctuate, you may want her later on in life. Just be. Even if you label it, don't stress, just fly
You are way to happy at hiding your feelings. Your ability to push things off. To over intellectualize stuff.
Rather than worry about loosing friends you seem very, very happy at denying your own happiness! Which is not such a great thing, don't you think?
You might take your happiness, even just yourself, more seriously! You have a huge issue in completely denying yourself and who/what you are.
You don't need enemies because you are doing a great job beating yourself up! But why??? Why??? Why???
The lighting in your room is very weird and gives you an unflattering appearance.
'The lighting is harsh' might be a better way to put it.
To speed things up, by a factor of 10, just send a link to those you want to know about your story.
At the end when you stopped talking, and the smile went away, you looked so deflated. So vulnerable. So without all of your bs defenses. It is at that point you should have started your video. It would have been honest, true and without all of the pretext. You have so many walls up it is really difficult to know you. Forget all the bs, forget the smokescreens, just present you. YOU. The real you.
Can you do that?
Because your 'coming out story' is a load of crap.
Because you still haven't come out. Not even to yourself! You still need to do a lot of work to pull it together, my friend.
I send all my love and support to all the LGBT people of the world ❤🧡💛💚💙💜 You all are important and very valuable even though we live in a world that makes you all believe otherwise. Remember always be proud of who you are 🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈 You all make from this world a better place ❤🧡💛💚💙💜 LGBT people are a rainbow of love in a world full of hate, but with difference of our straight partners, we all are united over a same flag 🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈 The flag of LGBT love ❤🧡💛💚💙💜 And we all must be united against hate, violence, discrimination and intolerance ❤🧡💛💚💙💜 We all are like a great family and we must fight to destroy hate ❤🧡💛💚💙💜 Remember, LGBT people is love and love always wins ❤🧡💛💚💙💜 I don't care about your race, nationality, biological gender, health condition, religion or any other condition ❤🧡💛💚💙💜 If you are an LGBT person you have all my love and my support ❤🧡💛💚💙💜 You guys are not alone in this fight and all the LGBT people of all over the world needs to understand this messagge, cause just united we will win against hate and we don't have to allow that nothing divide us. Never feel bad of who you are and never allow that this cruel world change who you really are or turn off your light and your shine ❤🧡💛💚💙💜 You all born that way and remember LGBT people of all the world, at the end, love always wins ❤🧡💛💚💙💜
I love you
@@babyvanderwoodsen Gays of all the world together forever ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜
I am a gay dude and I want to say I love a gay guy