Parentification: An In-Depth Guide - Eggshell Therapy and Coaching
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- Опубліковано 3 гру 2022
- Original Article: eggshelltherapy.com/parentifi...
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What is Parentification? What does it mean to be parentified? Parentification is a form of invisible childhood trauma. Parentification occurs when the roles between a child and a parent are reversed. You know you were parentified if as a child you have to step up as the caretaker, mediator, or protector of the family. Parentification is a form of mental abuse and boundary violation.
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Trigger Warning: This episode may cover sensitive topics including but not limited to suicide, abuse, violence, severe mental illnesses, relationship challenges, sex, drugs, alcohol addiction, psychedelics, and the use of plant medicines. You are advised to refrain from watching or listening to the UA-cam Channel or Podcast if you are likely to be offended or adversely impacted by any of these topics.
Disclaimer: The content provided is for informational purposes only. Please do not consider any of the content clinical or professional advice. None of the content can substitute professional consultation, psychotherapy, diagnosis, or any mental health intervention. Opinions and views expressed by the host and the guests are personal views and they reserve the right to change their opinions. We also cannot guarantee that everything mentioned is factual and completely accurate. Any action you take based on the information in this episode is taken strictly at your own risk. For a full disclaimer, please refer to: www.eggshelltherapy.com/discl...
If this topic speaks to you, you may like the books
Emotional Sensitivity and Intensity: amzn.to/3Hn7lCF
or,
The Gift of Intensity: amzn.to/3BFokP0
Yes it is trauma. my mother had said to me... I am not your mother, I am your friend and she shares the most disturbing things. She wants me to rescue her. I feel this deeply. She creates her victimhood daily. I am 50, and no matter how much I helped, it was never enough. She has classic BPD... in the extreme. oh her guilt... and now she torments my father. He feels sorry for her, she makes him out like it is all him. But now I am afraid for my father.
I was 7 when I became a parent for my Parents and siblings. The experience was worse with a Narcissist Mother and alcoholic Father while taking care of 2 younger siblings. From 18 to 30, I worked hard to save my Parents Psychological problems. I worked hard so my siblings can go to College while neglectimg my own needs to Study as well. They all have degrees while I dont. I worled so hard for my family, I thought it was normal until I discovered the toxic dynamic in my Family including Parentification. I went out of my family system just last month after my youngest sibling graduated. Im in no contact with my Narcissistic Family. I was called selfish for choosing to live separately. Im parenting myself now. I want to heal. I want peace.
Wow thank you for putting such powerful words to the traumatic experience I’ve been through as the parentified/scapegoat child. The pain of accepting reality is indescribable most days I’m left speechless. Coming back later to take notes bc there’s so many good quotes in here. I believe it will give me the clarity and motivation I need as i continue to go through the journey of healing my inner child 👧🏽💓
thank you for your feedback and comment!!! Poignant and encouraging
I shared the article for this with my mom and she read it and sent me this:
Grieve your childhood. Yours and mine. I’m sorry. I see now that I was too immature to truly parent and I abdicated.
I’m sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you. I love you. Ho’o Pono Pono.
So healing can start. Intergenerationally. Thank you for your work!!! ❤
how beautiful your mother was able to see and open her heart.
In love with your receptive mother.....and you!!! Bon voyage!
Wow this is beautiful!! Thank you for sharing
Im happy for you. Wish my mom responded like this. All I got was, “you’re so sensitive”. She’s a Narcissist. Both Grandiose and Covert Narcissist.
Wow. That is huge. I am so happy for you.
I'm 27 and just realized this is what it is. How do I function as an adult now??? I feel lost. My mother still tries to be in my life and wants to help but she doesn't realize she doesn't respect me boundaries still and ends up making things so much more worse when I wish she would either learn or just let me be
This has validated and helped me seek a path to help myself. Thank you so much
I just finished reading the article. And I just wanted to say thank you. I will come back to the audio again as I am starting my healing process… I never thought I could but this article made sense in a way I never knew My thoughts could
thank you!!I am really very glad it was helpful
I can relate to almost everything you just mentioned here. 😢 It so painful . Im considering therapy to heal my younger self , I've been through alot
Really sorry to hear that :( yes I would think if you haven’t tried it before, a course of therapy could potentially be life changing.
I cried while listening to this and I haven’t been able to cry for over a year. I needed to hear this. I feel seen
my parents always told me i could pick up emotions they didnt even recognize in themselves, yet now i struggle to recognize any emotion of my own. I found this term after discovering i have a dismissive avoidant attachment style. I feel like now i finally understand why i am the way i am and have a starting point heal my maladaptive coping strategies and self-hatred
This is an excellent audio essay. It is thoughtful and sensitive with ideas for life strategies to heal. It is also a good balance of intellectual rigor with accessibility and easy to understand presentation. It deserves a lot more views/listens. Great work. Thank you very much.
Thank you so much!!! It means a lot to have your positive feedback 🙂
My mom likes to talk to me about. Her and dads problems thankfully she didn’t do that when I was little but she waited till I got into my late 30’s too start talking to me about her problems with my dad. I’m like it’s easy for me too go give strangers advice but my own parents is a different story. That’s why I don’t wanna be a woman’s friend cause I see how the friendzone boy goes through.
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If there was somehow and someday that you could get this translated into other languages, especially ones in Asia (Vietnamese would be great lol), a lot of discussions could be had. I would definitely pay for something like this.
Has been mentioned a few times before.. My book is in Korean and Chinese, sadly not Vietnamese.. yet!!!
Thank you so much for your support :)
Imi
I had 3 little brothers in a broken house until scps came.