Do This When You Don't Feel Chemistry or a Spark With Him | Dating Advice for Women by Mat Boggs
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- Опубліковано 10 гру 2021
- Mat Boggs shares relationship advice for women and what to do when you don't feel chemistry or a spark with him.
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So, what do you do when you've met somebody and they have a long list of great qualities, but they don't ignite that crazy chemistry that you crave and desire?
When they tick all these boxes except for the chemistry box, should you walk away or is there another possibility? That's exactly what we're going to talk about today.
Watch the video to discover the two scenarios that I've seen really work for women in my Manifest Your Man program and how they can work for you!
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Mat Boggs Bio:
As a sought-after dating and relationship coach for women and international speaker, Mat Boggs has helped thousands of women understand men, improve their relationships, and attract the relationship they want.
As the best-selling author of Project Everlasting, and creator of Cracking The Man Code, Mat Boggs? dating and relationship advice has been featured on national media including The Today Show, CNN, Headline News, Oprah and Friends, and many more.
Mat's Mission: To increase love in the world, one heart at a time.
As a dating coach for women, Mat believes that your history does not determine your destiny, and that you are more powerful than any circumstance you are facing. The relationship dream in your heart really can become the life you love living!
Mat Boggs highly acclaimed relationship programs have served women around the world in all age groups.
If you’re interested in receiving help attracting love or improving your relationship click here: www.crackingthemancode.com/coa...
Directed and Editing By: Luke Dejoras
Written By: Mathew Boggs
Related Topics:
Dating Advice For Women
Relationship Advice For Women
Relationship Coach For Women
Dating Coach For Women
Dating, Relationships, understanding men, Dating Advice, Love Advice Relationship Advice, How Men Think, What Men Want, What attracts men, How to attract a man, how to create lasting love, how to know if he likes you, signs your man likes you.
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Just a reminder to anyone who needs to hear it: you should never feel obligated to go out with someone. Dating should be fun. If you feel like you're forcing yourself to spend time with them, you shouldn't be doing it. Chemistry can grow over time but sometimes it's just not there and it never will be. I think some people watch videos like this and come away with the idea that they are monsters for having preferences about who they date. Remember, eventually this will be someone you'll see every day for the rest of your life. You're allowed to be selective and pass on anyone who just isn't doing it for you.
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This is the opposite take to what i normally hear and it pleased me to read this.
It sounds good when you're writing it like that, but I don't think it's black and white.. You should do what you feel, but often in the dating world men are getting rejected for the slightest and I honestly don't think people should date if they're not willing to give it a fair try.. It takes time to get to know someone and if you decide to go on the dating market and see someone with the intention of potentialy having a serious relationship you shouldn't just reject the other person because you don't like their shoes, or if you had good chemistry first date and second seems a bit more off.. Give it a chance or don't date. That's my opinion.
I went on a date with a guy yesterday, we talked for hours- it just flowed. There was no crazy sparks at all, but I felt we had enough in common we could see if chemistry could happen. So today he wrote saying he didn’t feel chemistry, nor did I, but I feel one has to go on a few dates to see if something awakens. I have to agree with other comments; our society has “instant” gratification syndrome, and if things don’t happen instantly people won’t try. Real connection is based on friendship and chemistry is built slowly like a fine wine - ❤
People have veered away from letting relationships and intimacy build over time. I’m not sure if the issue is social media and instant gratification but this is a good reminder that great things take time! ❤️
Instant gratification and looks and lust matter too much! It makes me sick. My best relationships were always the slow-simmer friendship that builds into chemistry. Looks fade over time but a good personality lasts forever.
I have experienced this build up of chemistry over time with my current boyfriend. For me the key was to realize I deserved someone as kind and courteous as he was Also I had to believe in myself that I was a loving woman and could handle a mature stable and committed lover It’s a first for me.
I am the hundredth person liking your comment, I hope it will bring me luck ♥️
Well, I hate to admit that this relationship didn’t work out. He wasn’t willing to commit to it. But, I did enjoy being with a gentleman for a couple years. Could there be another one out there?
My current boyfriend came about just like this. We had so much in common on our first date and talked for an hour before we even ordered food. It was a wonderful date and I knew I wanted a second one even though he wasn’t exactly what I wanted physically in a man. We had a second date at his house and talked again for hours and it was a lovely time but our kiss outside my car was just awful; closed- lipped and we bumped noses lol. I texted him that I wanted to give kissing a second try and he definitely agreed. As soon as I got to his house on our third date I went in for a kiss and it was the best 45 minute Makeout session I’ve ever had. The chemistry just started to build from there and I couldn’t be more in love than I am now. It’s been three months and I feel like I’ve found the one. It’s really the best. Thank you for your content; I love it!
I'm glad your happy but 'in love' in 3 months? You truly don't even know each other yet. Think you are moving too fast. Fast can be a set up to fail scenario.
@@rezotydnic haha thanks for your thoughts but when you know you just know. Falling in love can happen at any pace. We aren’t moving too fast, we’re moving at just the right pace. Good luck to you!
@@VeronicaStories1 good luck to you as well.i wish you all the best and I hope you get what you want and need from a partner in life.
@@VeronicaStories1 I'm fascinated by your story and I hope I'm not intruding when I ask this but was your conversations running smoothly? I ask this cause there's someone who I have a crush on and have a lot in common with but as soon as I'm alone with him I go blank, can't think of much to say and I'm not sure why! (Enter nervous laughter😂)
@@fatimaa4612 our conversations were incredibly smooth. It was the thing that made me think we could be something more than friends. But all you have to do is listen to him and ask him questions about what he says ask about his family and work and goals and past and friends and interests… There’s so much you can talk about, just ask questions and then relate back to him if something is sparked in your mind, tell stories, ask for stories. Good luck!
There were these 2 men that I knew. Met them both at the same time. The 1st guy was taller, confident and great smile and energy. I felt an instant attraction . As time progressed, he appeared to be more and more self centered and more and more less attractive.
The 2nd man was calm and funny and consistently interactive in a fun way. He showed care and concern and warmth. My attraction really grew. It grew so much that to this day I still think about him and hope to find someone of that caliber and quality in the future.
And yet you didnt date the second guy.
@asmrfoodieuk7965 this is a sad reality in the modern dating world
This is good. I had this experience. He wouldn't go away. His persistent text and attention eventually softened my heart.
I'm having the same experience with a man right now, Lathie. He's persistent about breaking down my walls and can see my vulnerability. I have to admit that it's kind of nice!
As simple as just giving a chance for chemistry to grow, sometimes we get caught up in our own ‘types’ and not letting others who aren’t matched our ‘types’ to come and prove their values, we put the spark on the pedestal, as if it’s the only guidance for us to find a compatible partner. In fact it’s sometimes misleading.
OMG WELL SAID
I agree 💯
My husband died 2 yrs ago from kidney cancer. No chemistry when we met. As we had breaks together at work, it took awhile for chemistry to build. I never expected this unexpected. I miss him terribly. He was the nicest guy I ever met and was a great man. It's a surprise when realizing what happened.
@Chibaby Delight I have met someone I'm currently seeing but ty for the offer.
SO SORRY.
I was with my partner for over 10 years and he was a great guy! The best, really, but there was never any chemistry. Not in the beginning and not at the end. He passed away a couple of years ago and there were two types of grieving for me; his passing and the giant void it left in my life, and secondly I had to grieve the loss of 10 years with a partner that was devoid of chemistry and physical intimacy, and the immense amount of loneliness that brought into my life. Which, quite honestly, I didn’t even pay much attention to until after his passing. Perhaps some women can “grow” into chemistry. That simply wasn’t the case for me and ,to date, never has been.
Me too. Its no way to live.
Would you choose him to be your partner again if you have a second chance? Or would you want to wait for the one that you would have chemistry with?
I hope you find the absolute love of your life that redeems those 10 years. ❤️❤️❤️
@@jennifertrotter1088 Thank you sister. Me too. ❤️🙏❤️
@@jartotable Agreed. It is not. 🙏
Give it 6 dates. Chemistry builds. Do not tell them you don't have chemistry.
I would definitely agree with this message Mat. I met my ex and had amazing chemistry right off the bat. Unfortunately, that’s all we had. Got divorced after spending over 28 years with him. Met someone whom is a great friend and has all of the qualities I’m looking for. I choose to develop the friendship and after 2 years see if any chemistry was there. The chemistry did come. It’s one of the healthiest relationships I’ve ever had.
Congratulations, Joy!
Why would a marriage be ended after 28 years. What happened….one day just ended out of the blue?
@@RetzyWilliams I wanted to go to therapy and work on myself and also do couples therapy to work on communication skills. He said no! I can’t work on a relationship with someone who won’t even try.
that is why people date before marriage, You married him, you made a commitment. 28 years is a long time. This does not sound right or good a legal divorce, does not take away the vows made on the wedding day
My favorite type of guy being in RESPECT not in love
I don't know if I am the only one here, but chemistry is something immediate to me. Even if a man has great qualities but I don't feel any sexual attraction to him, I won't give him any chance. When I did, it was a total torture to me. I guess you can sense instantly if you like a man or not
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There has to be Something there, not fireworks, but SOMETHING, I totally agree. I think the lesson in this vid is it’s Possible attraction will eventually develop, but certainly not guaranteed or even high chances. That’s from 6 decades of living, lol.
Wait chemistry means "sexual"
But what if I be attracted and felt chemistry with someone but didn't think of them sexually what that means??
For me it's all about how the man treats me. My husband is on the heavy side but I respect him, his ways and his time and he respects me, is kind and helps me when I need it. Because let's face it beauty fades but love is eternal. Thanks for a great video and God bless!
I always fall in love over time, when I get to know a person. But of course there has to be some kind of connection in the beginning, not that it could happen with just anyone. 😋
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After watching Married at First Sight, I remember someone saying “people don’t fall in love, they grow in love”
I recently met someone on a dating app and we texted for a month and realized how much we had in common and both gave each other the respect to respond daily to one another.
When we finally met (when our busy schedules allowed), it was very comfortable because I felt like I knew him, although it was a bit strange to now put a real life person and a voice to what I may have imaged.
We’ve now met 3x and I can say we’re friends? (No butterflies and maybe not my usual type- but I KNOW he can be good for me. But I actually communicated to him tonight ( before seeing this video), that I don’t feel a spark but I’m scared to get more vulnerable.
The last bit of this video, is me. I’m already anticipating the failure and feeling like I wasted his time or hurt him. But I communicated my feelings and even though he thinks I should be feeling a spark by now, we have plans to see each other this weekend and spend some more time together in person. We haven’t been physical at all yet so perhaps a little physical touch will ignite this friendship. TBD. Being vulnerable is scary 😅
So any updates? What happened
How's it going?
Any updates?
Keep us updated! Rooting for you!
I felt exactly the same. I've been talking to this guy for more than a half year. Felt so connected and he has all the qualities that I'm looking for. So we met last weekend. It was really good time together, but there's not much chemistry. It is the same to him. He said it's still difficult to say what it is but maybe a bit lean to friendship chemistry. So kinda don't know what we should do know
Wow.. this is great ! Thank you... You just gave me a script I was looking for. This is a perfect thing to say in my case. I honestly think if the person checks all the boxes, exploring a dating relationship should be given a chance.
I waited 7 years hoping I'd feel chemistry and physical attraction. I most certainly loved him but I'm sorry, if it's not there you can't make it magically happen by waiting it out.
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wholeheartedly agree. it's either there or it is not. i've always found that the men i felt the most chemistry with werent the best long term partners/marriage material...but the really great, upstanding guys (with little to no chemistry) were very solid and emotionally safe. this has been a very tough dynamic for me - i've yet to experience both chemistry and safety in one person.
@@EadsB7002 same 😢
I really like this and wish I would have been wise enough to handle things this way when i was in a similar situation years ago.
I’m am exactly like that woman you were talking about , I was with a lovely man he had a lot of amazing qualities and we got on really well i really liked him but I was nervous about exploring the chemistry with him which held me back from going forward with him , that phrase you said was the fitting for my situation, friendship that didn’t quite catch fire!!!
Looking back I wish I knew and said that example that you used in this video. 😊
Thanks so much this video really helped!!😄
I gotta be honest I've been married to a man that I wasn't completely in love. Chemistry never came. We just got in the friend zone quite quickly after marriage. I'm. Never going to date a guy who grows on my like fungus. Would prefer that spark.
Were you friends first? And did you ever feel attraction for him?
Yesss! Love this, Mat ❤️ Its such a great help to get these practical examples of how to become a better communicator. Really appreciate it. Keep it coming! ❤️
Congrats on hitting 1M subscribers!! 👍🏼
You can either invest time and effort in bringing out the chemistry between the two of you or just instantly work your way out to ignite that spark, the outcome will spell the difference. Just do what suits you and that which you do better.
This video comes just in time for me. I met a guy - seems nice, we don't have so much in common and he doesn't talk as much as I wish, but he's slowly opening up, which is great. He's just like Bill you've mentioned - nice, but not the type I usually fall for. We talk every evening, almost, cause we live very far to go on dates and it's nice. SO...I'll give it a shot. Who knows... we both decided to take it slow anyway so it might have enough time to build up.... :) Thank you for your advices and the different points of view. It's helping and relieving to hear them :)
I feel starting as friends or saying I dont sleep with people until I know them or I find at least to be a good friend before I step into considering a romantic relationship.
I pray for anyone that see’s this is successful in relationship, marriage and in life ❤️🙏
I wish you the same too
@@fatimaa4612 🙏 Amen
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Hello it's works I can't believe am with my love again after so many years of break-up.,.......
If I don't have the chemistry and can't picture myself naked under him I'm not going to waste both our time. Life is way too short to just have a roommate...to cheat myself or him...even if we both check off all the boxes for each other.
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I definitely needed to hear this!
Great love this, solid advice
Always enjoy the positive energy you bring but also the insight you share love from a new growing youtuber ...
Congrats on your million you deserve it. 🐎✨💖💖
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I had both chemistry & connection on the 1st date. The first date was actually only the 2nd time we met. We met on bumble so the first meet was not really a date. We had connection for sure but I wasnt positive about chemistry. He is 6'4 & that was a bit intimidating to me. But he is gorgeous so I knew it could have potential. After date 2 we both knew we were in love. Deep soul connection as though we know eachother from another life. 7 months going strong!💜😁
You know what really sucks Matt? This doesn’t work in reverse. Story of my life.
There is a difference between not being attracted to looks and not feeling chemistry or a spark. Depending on the person, not being attracted to looks can be too big a hurdle to overcome. That's what people need advice on: how to build attraction when they're not attractive enough for the person to decide whether they want to be friends or date. Telling them you don't know if you like them is fine & dandy, but what do you do to find out? The answer isn't kissing. Some people don't just kiss someone they don't find attractive enough to find out if they like them like that. Ew
I can't bring my self to kiss someone who in not attracted to and have no connection with.
Same ! Recently went out with a guy who I had genuine fun with and we had a lot in common but I was absolutely not attracted to him and could not imagine even kissing him. Im not so desperate to force anything, I don’t think that’s the answer!
For me is writing down the pluses and minuses.
Great as usual. Matt can you make a video on dating with chronic illness because it does affect one from approaching or accepting love. You don't want to make being sick as your personality but it IS such a big part of your life. Thanks in advance!
This is so important. Thanks for asking this.
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Yes this is important because I suffer from chronic illnesses and find it a challenge to online date especially at 59 years old. I do mention it sooner so they can make a decision if it would be too much for them. We deserve a good love too!!
Amazing letter and a great example for my future i love it. Have a great day Mat.
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No, I am not with that. There has to be something there right from the beginning.
Chemistry is by the way not sexual arousal. You can, when a man touches you, start to feel sexually aroused.
But chemistry is more than that. It is this distinct feeling of being drawn to him, being excited by him, this positive, vivid energy.
I absolutely agree with you on this one. I feel repulsed by a thought of "waiting for chemistry". I don't want to waste time in a "situationship" that won't work.
Thank u Matt!! ❤️
This was a helpful video. I think if me and maybe many women wouldn’t be attracted to a guy who likes them because they don’t know if they’re safe or he’s going to get obsessed or something so the urge is to shut it down quickly but if you could start feeling comfortable w that person you could open up to feeling safe enough to allow yourself to explore an attraction and a possible romance.
Or he might reject you even worse than obsessed and go never mind I don’t like you after all
4:26 - agreed - That is an excellent story.
This is a great channel.
I subbed a while back.
6:05 - SO brainy. Thanks for your good work. And words.
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Thanks for the energetic sharing :) For the moment I trying hard to stay calm and try to not taking initiative. Just be in my feminine energy, not “hunting” like before, give him space and time to do that. Meanwhile I live my life and energize it with what do me well. Hopefully mr right see himself fit in and want to connect and share a good life with me with more fun possible than alone. I will for sure ask him what you advise if needed. Thanks again
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Matt Boggs Seems To Know a Lot , Especially All About The Dynamics Of Relationships Or Friendships. He Understands What's Really Important and He Gives Valuable, Helpful Advice. I Think Everyone Men, Women, Young Or Old Would Definitely Benefit, From What He Has To Say & Having Good Communication Skills and Trust , Respect To Start With is Just The Part Of It.
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I can totally see that happening to me. I almost am never attracted to anyone so I am like how am I ever going to meet someone. I generally don’t attract the guys I am attracted to and then if I do they open their mouth and then I’m not attracted to them anymore
This happened with my husband. I wasn't really attracted to him but I'm glad I finally said yes. 🙌🏾
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I love this and it what I wanted. The interesting thing for me is I meet someone and the chemistry was instant and powerful! Thunder and lightning!! The scary part in this can be blinding to red flags it concerns! how can you see past chemistry that powerful to know it it’s a wise choice to invest a heart and time!! We have been seeing each other for 8 weeks trying to intentionally take it slow and no ward off totally physically intimacy but it can be confusing!!
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I too am sorry but I cannot agree with this. Unless you have the patience. I have met this really nice, sweet and polite guy but feel.absolutely no chemistry with him whatsoever. I've gone on a couple of dates with him but still do not feel any spark igniting at all. He is great as a friend but I know he wants something more by the way he flirts with me, and I feel soo bad that I just simply cannot force myself to reciprocate his feelings. I can't even imagine kissing me without cringing. What should I do? I am being pressured into marrying and so far, he is the only good candidate to come my way but I do not want to settle for second best at all..please help. 😢🙈
@Gods Time leave you scammer !
What to say or do if he says he doesn't feel a chemistry or spark after three dates? I need urgent help please! 😩 We both know that we would fit together, same hobbies, interests, live and relationship ideas. 😍 How can I fix this and create a spark? I think what made him think there's no spark was that I've been rather shy on the dates, which I'm usually not, but he just made me shy cause he's too good to be true.
A dozen years ago I met someone who was not my usual physical type, a bit overweight. I go for the lean guys.
We had so much fun together and I loved his energy. I confided in my girlfriend who told me she had the same situation with her current guy and had been concerned early on also.
My concern was, if we got physical, would I be turned off.
She assured me that if I really liked him it would not be an issue and she was right. We ended up having a 5 yr relationship. He lost twenty pounds while I gained about 10😂
I pray for the universe grant your heart desires.I'm so excited my broken mariage has been restored my ex lover is back after he left me and our kids for another woman...
Try message him on WhatsApp along with your life problems and you will never regret it👇
While I can agree with everything you said in this video and some of the comments, the physical attraction is not happening for me at all. My friend and I can talk for hours easily. A few times, he's even mentioned being in love with me but he's just a friend to me. I made triple sure to explain to him that I don't share the same feelings for him but he says he'd rather be friends than nothing. I refuse to try to force an attraction I just don't have so what do I do, if anything? He's a great friend I don't want to lose.
Would you ever tell a man to settle for a woman he finds unattractive?
Thank you...
What if it’s the other way around? What if the guy is unsure of the girl due to missing a spark? What should the girl do then? Move on?
Thanks
Hi sir . I am from India. I appreciate your efforts to guide people in their relationship. Keep going . 🔥 Happy new year 🤝🏽
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Interesting that Patricia was happy that the guy kissed her 3 times in a public place while everyone was.watching. My date did that to me and I was horrified. But then again Patricia had already been on more than one date with this guy plus she was giving him the triangle look. My guy thought going in for the first kiss (on our first date) was appropriate 15 minutes into me walking in the door! Then when I pulled away and asked him," wtf are you doing? I just got here minutes ago and we are in a crowded bar with everyone watching." He says, "ok I'll just let you decide when we get it on." Like huh???!!!! WHY in the world would ANY man think that going in for the first kiss on a first date within minutes of the female walking in the door would be a GOOD idea??!!
He seems to be after just one thing 🤯 and obviously not caring about what you think! It's not respectful at all..
For the relationships I've been in there has been both no chemistry and chemistry and what I do is get to know the be person better but if I have none even after giving it time I go silent
Hi my relationship is fixed back again my Ex is back with me we lovely and happily together, I got help from a great man who bought us back together
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The magic needs to be there from the first kiss! It doesn't matter how many boxes he checks on your ideal man, if there's no spark you will never be satisfied.
Mat - what’s your take on if people feel chemistry at the same time? Apart from obviously touching and doing more direct flirting and stuff, if it’s more implicit, and the relationship is not spoken or that far ahead, how do we know we really feel chemistry. Maybe we feel it but they don’t ? And further than that, let’s say we feel connection with a person, how do we know they feel it too ? We enjoy their time and think they’re hilarious, they’re laughing too and enjoying your company. But to you it could be this big thing whereas for them it could be a nice experience and that’s all.
If they both feel chemistry in same time they gonna know. It's in there eyes or blushing and noticing no one around but them, this kind of attraction without tuching or anything.
I'm very visual. So for me, chemistry either happens instantly or not at all.
Chemistry is neither visual nor sexual, it‘s emotional!
I went on a date last night we met online face timed for 5 das had great connection we met, and I knew something was wrong I thought I don't want to sound paranoid, so I waited for him to speak up and all of a sudden he said Im done I don't feel a connection I'm going home I asked him what's wrong and he said I'm just not feeling it-I said I think we just need to time to feel comfortable he said that's not going to happen I was really hurt Matt what happened??
Great advice! And it really helped, I'm dating a great guy at the moment, we only have been on 3 dates. The first date the moment I saw him I felt that lightning bolt 😂 we started talking and immediately I knew he was a yes for me, he's not the extremely good looking type but he's cute and he was smiling all the time which I found attractive.. I wasn't even nervous before the date and the moment the date started I felt all the nervousness and butterflies going, we also had a great connection and felt like we were similar in many things.. but the second date didn't go as great, we went to a very busy place and we couldn't even hear each other sometimes, I felt like I didn't feel the attraction that much and started questioning if I liked him.. dating can be so confusing! Then we had a 3rd date and it was amazing from the beginning to end, I felt really close to him and super comfortable, we got to know each other more as we talked about many different topics.. and at the end of the date he kissed me for the first time, it was a slow and romantic kiss 😍 he couldn't even let me go! 🙈 but I think I want to take things slow, I'm sure I feel that fear deep down of things not working out and getting hurt! Or if we go too fast I might freak out 😂 I hope he's patient with me!
I saw an advise from another channel that if he's going too fast for you, tell him that you are attracted to him but also let him know that you don't want to take things too fast. He'll know that you are not rejecting him but just want a slower pace. And if he's as great as you say he is, then he'll understand.
@@katmarcos thank you Katrina! I actually did that a few days ago, I let him know that I'd like to take things slow and he said he was happy to take things as slow as we needed. We had another date last night which went great, there's chemistry so he knows I'm attracted to him and we spend hours talking about life every time we met, the time goes too fast! But at the moment it's best to take one day at a time and see how it goes! :)
@@shemseh Happy for you then! Good luck! Hope things continue to be great!
How is everything going?
@FrostyLova wow I didn't remember writing this! Well we just got engaged and planning our wedding next year 🥰 we moved in together after a year of dating, we had our fights sometimes about silly things but we work them out.. he's very understanding and most importantly willing to do what's best for the relationship and to work on it, which I find extremely important.
Exactly what's i feel..
What about if the guy says after a few months that there’s no spark?
I’ve tried this many times but it’s never worked, so far no spark in the beginning means no spark ever
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But how long to wait to allow for chemistry to develop? 3 dates in and none yet… 🤷🏻♀️
I've never even thought about this in this way. No chemistry, I'm outta here.
I just came back from a dinner and movie date with a fantastic person, a good father, hard working, values, no addictions… but I don’t see myself making out with this person. I wonder if I have to consider just settling, because of our age, or continue trying to find love in this endless circle of meeting Mr. Wrong but sexy.
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Hello it's works I can't believe am with my love again after so many years of break-up.,.......
Maybe you can go to a couple more dates to see if there would be any chemistry. If there is still none after that, then maybe let him down easily.
This is an awful feeling and a long comment…..
I know how it feels to be in the other side of not feeling chemistry…. So the last thing I want to do is hurt this very kind man 😞
We ended up meeting each other for coffee and realized we went to school together in elementary… And have an extreme amount of parallels in our lives…
We can sit and talk about our childhood, and even in the parallels of our parents, and things that we would like to do for the rest of our lives being in our late 50s now.
He is so much fun, so very kind, hits every want in a rock solid relationship……
but I am struggling like hell to find that I even want to open my mouth to really kiss him…ugh
I know the right thing to do is to tell him that I am just not feeling this chemistry it has been nearly a month (yes a month) of going out together doing fun things together, and I even tried dinner at his place and a movie , and I just did not want to get physically close in anyway…not even to snuggle up to him..
I really really really wish I could,
I really don’t think that I can find the chemistry, it simply is not there, and it feels completely horrible to say “can we just be friends “….I know that I know he wants all of it…so do I , just can’t find that “oh I can’t wait to be close with I’m” vibe anywhere 😞
I'm in the same boat. It's been almost 2 months and I'm just not feeling anything beyond friendship. I had to be honest with him and he was disappointed but didn't want to end our friendship.
Well, I can't feel the chemistry no matter how hard I try. At least not with the people who want me. 😅
I like the, I like you but not sure about chemistry part very wise 4:50
I just told this exact thing to someone I'm dating right now. He thought I meant I dont feel chemistry in our communication 🙈 so went to assure me he fancies me madly but trying to take things slow... I didn't have the guts to tell him he had misunderstood me. Anyway Ive decided to keep going and see if spark will turn up later, thanks for the advice!
what happened now?
Yeah, what happened?
my ex told me he didnt feel the chemistry anymore when we talked last week. We have been broken up for about 4 months. But when we were togheter a few weeks ago he did tell me it felt nice and comfertable when we were togheter when I mentioned it felt awkward. Could I still ask him to try and see if chemistry can return or should i just give up?
Don’t mistaken comfort for love. That’s my mistake with my ex. We felt comfortable around each other and we were attracted to each other sexually but the emotional connection wasn’t there
I was hoping my friendship would develop into something more. He makes it clear that he wants me which makes me see him as needy. Such a turn off.
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I wish I have the strength to said to a men I like..unfortunately he is younger than me.
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Hello it's works I can't believe am with my love again after so many years of break-up.,.......
How young is young? I used to think the same but I've dated younger guys who are mature (at some point they HAVE to be).
This is the opposite of what I just watched and I'm horribly confused
I feel... I like a man who's younger then me. 17years younger. He's an old soul. I just gravitate towards him. He has all the qualities l want in a man. I haven't met anyone like him. But he doesn't feel any attraction towards me but he luves to hang out with me. We have fun. And we find eachother fascinating. How can l win him over? To the attraction side....
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He was a man on the mission from her doing the triangle thing
Ask him what he likes and dislikes. Try new things. Be open about what you want
I couldn’t agree more with this.. I strongly advocate for friendship first because that always ignites fire... before meeting the love of my life, I met a guy who I was absolutely not attracted to by any means other than the great qualities he carried. He liked me and was quite obvious. But after I say a good few months of him chasing me and rather just establishing a friendship with him, he had moved on talking about another woman which I was completely fine with because I was still dating someone else and didn’t give him much thought until.. I found myself getting a little jealous and revealing that to him he understood completely but i didn’t want for him to ruin his opportunity with this other woman so I let him go just in time meeting the love of my life. So basically that’s why I advocate for friendship because it builds a sense of deep bond, respect, compassion and understanding, things we women truly appreciate in a relationship. That is my opinion and wanted to share with everyone here. 🙏🏼😊
It's not story the way you read it it came alive like a romantic movie.
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I think looking beyond the superficial...and allowing the test of time...if he is truly a good,kind, person at will show itself over time....the losers can only maintain a facade for say two dates...maybe three, after that cracks in their mirror start showing up...
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Walk away. Don't force yourself into a relationship.
*9 Simple Self Improvement Principles For Strong Women*
1. Drink more water
2. Eat whole foods
3. Practice daily gratitude
4. Pick up a book
5. Listen to a TED Talk
6. Forgive someone
7. Join a group of supportive individuals
8. Stop nailbiting/nailpicking habit for good (if you do it - consider stopping it as it makes you mentally weak + affects your confidence and all other areas of your life!)
9. Congratulate yourself for this growth
Take it easy and I hope you found one thing helpful in this list.
If you did, what was it?
What the hell….this man in this example better run away and find a girl that is in fact attracted to him, otherwise he is wasting his time.