Why'd You BREAK UP With The Person You Thought You'd MARRY?
Вставка
- Опубліковано 9 лип 2024
- Welcome to Rufus Read It. We work extremely hard to make the best quality content for you. Each video takes a ton of effort time and energy to complete. It's a true labour of love but you all make it worth it. All the content in these videos are owned by us!
Our Work Process:
1. Ideation + Scripting: We research and come up with the best ideas to turn into videos, we write the scripts and refine our commentary.
2. Voice Recording: All our videos are recorded by a real human. No Ai Voice recording.
3. Gameplay: Every minute of captivating gameplay you see on the channel 100% recorded by us.
4. Audio Editing: Each video is audio engineered. We edit the pacing, flow and add audio effects to elevate viewer the experience.
5. Editing: We bring everything together here. We generate captions, sound effects and color correct to make each video unique.
6. Quality Control: Each video is meticulously fine tuned so that it holds up to our highest quality standards. If the video is not up to par we go back to the drawing board and make sure it is.
Thanks for watching :)
- Rufus
Copyright Disclaimer Under Section 107 of the Copyright Act 1976, allowance is made for "fair use" for purposes such as criticism, comment, news reporting, teaching, scholarship, and research. Fair use is a use permitted by copyright statute that might otherwise be infringing. Non-profit, educational or personal use tips the balance in favour of fair use. No copyright infringement intended. ALL RIGHTS BELONG TO THEIR RESPECTIVE OWNERS
I loved him and gave him all of me. We had a daughter together and I thought it was going to be forever. Then he got drunk during Christmas and almost beat me to death in front of her. I'm not sorry it's over, but I feel dead inside and I'm sad that my daughter has to know that her father tried to kill her mother. She's not even five years old and my heart is broken for her.
I’m so sorry that happened to you and your daughter. I hope you both are able to move forward, and find security and safety.
I hope you find some warmth and light again.
So sorry for you. I would teach my daughter when she grows up that in relationship the woman is the pedestrian and the man us the car. And that she should always be careful with whom she chose to date.
One of us was drowning in depression and the other was the lifeline. We stayed for years and became each others rocks but eventually realised we didn't love each other that way anymore, that we were staying because of emotional dependence on each other and we were both too caring of the others feelings to breakup. We are still on good terms. We were in each other's lives for a reason.
You have a great attitude
She got pregnant…..I’m infertile
:(
Please tell me you double checked anyway. I say this because both my brother and his wife were told, separately, that they wouldn't have kids. They are expecting their second child in a few months.
@@s.h.6858 i did. My infertility was due to trauma inflicted on my balls
It’s still technically possible. It’s worth a test before you completely check out
Hell, they told my dad he was infertile and I’m the youngest of his 7 kids
The dumbest thing somebody can say is saying that a diamond is too old. Diamonds are anywhere from 1 to 3 and 1/2 billion years old and will last forever. What the hell is she talking about?!
I think she just didn't want it
It could be said he wanted to make the ring with the diamond pieces and saved up for it, but she refused so he bought the bike. But it seems too convenient to have all the pieces ready to uncover a lie she had no reason do make.
@@cheti8544 uhh. Sir or ma'am, clearly my original statement went right over your upper follicles.
@@DocMartn253 👍
Maybe the style of the cut?
Story 5: You are never too old to change your life. You are never too broken to get better. I'm 53 and am still learning this every day, but I am glad I am trying. I have friends and (chosen) family that help and support me (and they claim I do the same for them). Help doesn't diminish the accomplishment of getting better. Actually accepting and getting help is an achievement in itself.
Never give up on yourself, you are worth the effort!
I loved her, gave her all my firsts, confided all the awful things that had been done to me as a child. Planned our wedding, talked about our future and what our kids would be like. I thought she was the one. She told me I was hers. It took me leaving my entire support group on move to a different city with her (she needed to find herself in a university at a different city) to start second guessing if the feeling was still same on her end. I do not doubt she did love me for a long time. But at some point she had not, at least not like she used to, and was then just using me as her fall back plan if university fell through. A part of me still wonders "what if" over a decade later but I know I made the right choice to end it. Faded the heart ache still bubbles to the surface at random times even though we both have moved on, married and my wife is expecting our second. Wish I could have that time back and could give it to my wife.
My ex was manipulative and physically abusive. It was my first relationship. I always heard about boys hitting girls, but never the other way round. She made it to be so normal that I didn't know how to deal with it.
I hope things are getting better for you. Sorry you went through that. I hope you're safe now
He was way too oblivious, jealous out of nowhere, gambling, drinking.
Gave him way too many chances.
Last straw was during working abroad together he was on a videochat with a mutual friend and his intoxicated ass declared we were over. Moved his posessions out of the room.
Later a big fistfight between us and I was done. Got him scarred for life through the whole ordeal, got him message from time to time weaning.
Nah, I'm good with the man by my side now. Never looking back.
You both sound toxic
Was my first bf...I was 17, he was 25, and we moved in together, got engaged. His father was a university professor and he could have got free education, but he preferred to work as a donut shop baker. I was trying to decide what I wanted to do with my life and he would always find some reason why my choices were no good (as if he knew everything). I wanted to travel and whenever I'd mention a country I'd like to visit, he would come up with some reason why he thought I shouldn't want to go there (as if he knew everything). He never travelled anywhere in his life and had no idea what he was talking about...all his opinions were based on stereotypes. He spent all his spare time drinking beer and playing video games. He was really jealous and insecure and would start fights with me if he found out I was at a place where there were other guys. I realized I would never be able to travel to places on my own without his jealous tantrums making my life hell. I realized he had no ambition and was just waiting for his inheritance. Once, after a fight, I said I was going to move out and I came home from work and he had changed the locks, to teach me a lesson, or try to exhibit some kind of control over me. LOL. I was so enraged (of course, I know now that violence isn't a good way to solve problems) I punched him in the face, or tried to, but I hit his neck and he crumpled onto the floor and performed this over-the-top drama to invoke sympathy (as if I could even punch hard, a 17 yo girl). I came from a poor family and always wanted to go to school and make something of myself, and travel and see the world. I couldn't understand how someone could have no ambition like that. I later realized how narcissistic he was. Sad for him, I guess, but I dodged a huge bullet when I cancelled our engagement and disentangled myself from him. I realize now that had I had more self-esteem myself, I would never have put up with his behavior.
"I dont wanna be this guy" Oh god that hurt.
I wrote a thought journal while my grandmother's health was failing. In this journal, I mentioned that I needed some support. When she read it, she told me that I wouldn't get any I mentioned that my grandma was basically dying. She still refused because I had failed to give her enough support her through her grandfather's death months prior. She made a comment that I was comparing my grandma to her grandfather when I denied that was the case she pouted for a while. I pulled into a parking lot to talk, and I apologized for my previous ineptitude. I always believed that if I messed up, I'll fix it. She exited the truck, asked for her key back and walked away... I knew it was ending as she was kissing me less and being colder... it is what it is.
The first story is such a load😂😂😂. How is that person ever gonna be happy in a relationship when all they think about is the "one that got away"
Whether it's craft beer or Cisco, a drunk is a drunk.
She was really cool, but depressed, she would start arguments all the time triggering my childhood trauma making everything worse, would not respect me and i was not happy with her life style and tried to change her. I was working 60 hours a week, got burned out, because of my stress i had no patience with her and because of her depression she was not emotionally supportive during my stress. So one time i really tried, got home from work and started cooking her favourite meal, but she came home and started complaining about something i didn't clean in the toilet, i asked her 5 times to stop complaining (i was so tired only said "baby stop it", i know i should have communicated better), she kept going, i got angry because i was so tired of not being listened to, she would not apologise, it escalated into me breaking up, i regret it, but she later said she cannot stay in this relationship. Happened 2 months ago, she doesn't respond much, so i apologised for my behaviour 3 weeks ago and in went into no contact, its hard but getting better, sometimes love isn't enough, you need to be a team. We loved each other, but didn't take care of each other.
I was so in love with him even though we had only met a few times in person because of long distance. I had known him and been good friends with him for many years so it wasn't like he was a complete stranger and we had been there for each other to talk to through many hard times in our lives. It felt so weird when I tried to be affectionate with him because he'd always seem like he was uncomfortable and unsure. I thought at first it was a shyness maybe but then we went on a cruise together with my parents and his brother. He would be so weird about not seeming to care if he was around me or not even though I wanted to be around him all the time. I just felt like I was being friend zoned. After a talk with my mom I realized it wasn't going to work between us. I broke it off and we promised to stay friends. I figured out later that there was a certain incident in his childhood that had made him to where he was uncomfortable with touching and he admitted after a while that he thinks he may be asexual. I will always love him but hopefully eventually it'll be completely platonic feeling.
Some of these stories remind of the instance where the one I thought I’d marry broke up with me. We went hang out with friends one night and I drank (not enough to get drunk as I have a high tolerance and am a large guy). We had spoken about my drinking after a night in which she stayed over and I got drunk. I agreed to keep my drinking to a minimum while with her. However, she broke up with me over my drinking. I acknowledge that I was wrong to drink while she was with me and should have waited until she was in a place where she could handle my drinking. However, my parents and friends seem to think issues below the surface on her part (ie anxiety and being extremely clingy) were probably the main reason causing her to break up with me. I did not realize how extreme those issues were until I went back through our texts after the breakup. We tried to get back together but realized it wouldn’t work out. I’ve since moved on and am currently dating another woman. However, I constantly think about this and whether or not I was at fault for the break up because I want to learn from my mistakes to become a better boyfriend and a better man. I don’t see my ex as a bad person as we all have our own issues to deal with. However I still wonder that if I hadn’t drank that night, would we still be together or just simply delayed the inevitable.
Also shout out to parents who rat on their kids who cheat. Y’all the real ones
See now I want to play PW Simulator. The game is kinda therapeutic ngl
I realised no matter the circumstance he would prioritise his friends.
My father had a heart attack and he was taken to a major hospital 2 streets from his house, and I went through the whole thing by myself. He spent this time drinking and smoking with his friend who had broken up with his girlfriend.
His mother was upset I wasn't a part of their culture. So she constantly encouraged her son to cheat or leave me. When he did finally cheat, she ran to tell me he cheated. I wasn't shocked but I was hurt. On top of that she got pregnant. I left and a few months later his mother called me begging to come back to her son. This new girl was a part of his "culture" though she treated him like crap and constantly cheated. 🤷🏻♀️ Oh well not my problem anymore. They are still together to this day and neither one of them are happy. All they do is cheat on each other and not a single one of his kids look like him 🤣 ( Small town everyone talks. ) I moved away but visited from time to time and people love to gossip.
Not a marriage thing, but a friendship.
I thought I would have my best friend around for the rest of my life, until I had either ended myself or he ended himself (I don’t say this lightly. I used to be in such a dark place for over 5-6 years, and I tried to end myself twice). He was the longest friendship I had ever had, and I thought we knew everything about each other, I thought I finally had a friendship that would last. But then I started getting psychiatric help, and got into college, and I started realizing patterns. He was a guy who constantly got crushes on his friends, confessed, dated for a bit, then broke things off, only to bounce to the next person. He and I hooked up because I was a curious young guy and I wanted to experiment with someone I trusted, and the way he went about things just… it not only turned me off so much, but it also made me reflect a bit on how he deals with relationships. And then finally, he confessed his feelings to me, and I confessed what I thought were romantic feelings (I know I’ve been asexual for most of my young adult life, but it took until I was 17 to realize I was aromantic too). We “dated” for a week, and I realized that I couldn’t sustain this kind of relationship. I’m a guy who’s not quite his own island, but almost like a peninsula. Meanwhile, he was so clingy, and constantly needed validation. In that one week, I realized how often he made fun of me, treated me like an idiot cause I didn’t catch when he was joking or serious (I’m on the spectrum), the like. I broke things off, and I fell into a deep dark hole of mental distress, all the while he was screaming at me about “how could I do this to him”, “what is wrong with you”, and he demanded I get out of our friends’ mutual discords. I did, but not before sharing screenshots of our conversation, saying “I don’t want a he-said-he-said, make up your own minds”. After that, I went through a year or so of depression, trying to make new friends only to get into alcohol, getting black out drunk for the first time and accidentally offending a friend’s partner (in a way that I never expected myself to act, and I still feel so much fear and guilt about it. I didn’t get physical, but I was running my mouth about my insecurities and curiosities, and just made a fool of myself, and I still feel guilty, cause… well, duh). But now I’m doing better, about to graduate with my bachelor’s and getting into new jobs while beginning my first comic venture as the artist and author, what I’ve always wanted. I still carry a lot of guilt, and I know I have a lot of things to work on, but I’m just glad I still feel guilt, and that I want to fix things, instead of becoming a hermit or pariah. I don’t miss that friend at all, because he stunted me so much with my growth, I feel, and overall he was just toxic to everyone (I’m still in contact with my friend group that was originally his and I’s, but they cut him off cause he was a toxic little shit). I’m not saying this to say my problems are his fault, but I feel like with the problems I had on my own, his influence just made me worse, and tainted the way I interact with people, especially in terms of making friends.
I'm still with the person who decided to take the option to get married away from me. They just take take take. The problem is I have no one else as my support system is falling apart and I don't want to burden them. I also don't want to hurt him or myself any more than I already have.
They Slept with their step brother and my best friend, at the same time.
She actually dumped me after cheating on me while I was halfway across the country. I had just finished military boot camp and needed some emotional support having trouble adjusting to living so far from home and she just stopped talking to me and said she started seeing someone else and she no longer loved me
The one story about op not wanting to be with someone because they want to live in their hometown and op didn’t was kinda dumb and selfish enough to still be in a relationship with that guy. If you’re not interested in staying at the same place as your partner is, then call it quits, no need to drag out a relationship. It’s more infuriating that someone you spent your whole relationship with doesn’t want to be with you because of an arbitrary choice you probably should of thought about before continuing the relationship
I think they realized it in that moment and did the right thing by calling it quits. They both ended up living the life they wanted, but sometimes it can come on like an epiphany. I can understand where you're coming from though.
@@feroxsayshello518absolutely this. I remember having this same type of moment with someone that I loved but wasn’t compatible or safe with when I was just out of school (he would have ruined my life). We had a pregnancy scare because I never could take birth control pills because they messed me up royally no matter which ones I tried and there was a condom accident. The guy said to me-it’s ok, we can just get married and it was like a lightning flash of what my whole life would be like flashed before my eyes. I saw it all play out in a way that I had never considered before-he was too unstable and flirty with other girls and had a “people pleasing” life of the party personality mixed with a hidden self loathing complex. It was like nothing and no one was ever good enough to prop him up inside and make him feel accomplished and good about himself. He looked for external validation because he couldn’t validate himself enough to feel good. So he needed better cars, better looking partners, a more prestigious career etc etc except none of it made him feel good inside regardless. But I guess it made him feel like he at least had a better image to the public. My future life would be: get married to this never satisfied man, he gets me pregnant if I’m not already, and then he gets bored with me. Nothing I ever do is going to be good enough and I’ll never look perfect enough for him (he was stocky and a bit of a slob about dressing who wasn’t that good looking himself. I fell for him because he was funny and had a charming personality and intelligent mind, so the attraction wasn’t based on looks but rather a good personality). He would then hit up some other girl who wasn’t better-just “new” and therefore a novelty with fresh unknown promise and proceed to cheat on me, which would cause me to leave and I would be left with a barely there baby daddy who only cared about his own wants and needs. Alarmed, I said “I don’t want to marry you! I want a HAPPY life!” Not my most tactful moment, but you know 😂. I broke up with him a few days later. Was I wrong about him? Nope. He’s had three different women pregnant and bailed on all of them. Gets bored, starts cheating, leaves the women. I have been the only one to leave him, and oh boy did it hurt his pride. He was still trying to contact me WHILE dating other women for around two years after I left him. He didn’t love me because he never loves anyone. Not even himself. He’s a terrible absentee father. The last time he showed up at my place was after I had gotten married to my husband and just had his baby. My mom told him to get lost and stop bothering me. He tried calling me on the phone here and there but I told him to stop and it wasn’t going to work on me. Eventually he did stop. He’s now close to fifty and still pulling this bullsh-t on women. I dodged a nuke. He never married and always cheats. I have a great loving husband who was an amazing doting father to our kids.
It was a teenage high school relationship. It's not that shocking for either of them to have had second thoughts about commiting to a particular path in life.
My ex probably thought she was going to marry me. I didn't take me all that long to figure out she wasn't "The One". Maybe I should have ended it there, shouldn't have lead her on. But I was a broken man. I was struggling with my mental health in a lot of ways, and she made it all better when I got home. Eventually I got better, became more confident in myself. I decided I had to end it there. It destroyed her, but I knew it had to end now because it would only make things worse later on. No point in wasting my time or hers. We are still friends today as I do care about her. I just don't love her how she loved me. I hope she does find the right man some day.
I have had two failed engagements, the second one a lot crazier than the first. We’ll call the first one Maya, and the second one Ryan. (I’m a bi Trans woman if you deem that relevant}
1. I’m at Maya over the Internet through my older brother. We had a lot in common and fell in love pretty fast but just really weren’t meant for each other in the long run. We were raised on different values. I was raised by a poor, single mother that did her best to make ends meet me and my siblings. She was raised in a double income six figure household. We wanted two conflicting things for our futures and lives as a whole. I wanted to be a writer and she thought that that wasn’t a viable career and that there’s no point in life unless you’re working at least at six figure salary. I have a lot of problems from that relationship, but I cannot blame her for all of them. It should’ve ended much sooner than it actually did and either one of us had the power to do it and we didn’t. I hope she’s doing really well. (Side note: her parents couldn’t stand me because I was southern and autistic. So that also kind of threw a wrench into things.)
2. So here’s the one that’s really interesting for all the wrong reasons. Ryan was my best friend for 10 1/2 years of my life. We briefly dated back in high school, but decided not to because biologically. We were both male and that would’ve caused a lot of problems. Had it came out. (I just love living in the south.) but he always stayed my best friend. He not only supported my writing, but he was actually a big part of it. Every story I conceptualize was almost as big of a part of it as I was. We got engaged towards the end of last year and was going to get married this year. we even had a trip planned to go meet up with some online friends that I’ve known almost as long as I’ve known him him that was going to serve our honeymoon. A week before we were going to get married I wake up to the FBI at my door, putting both of us in handcuffs, with a search warrant for the house. They took his phone and our computer and later came back that day to arrest him. I’m sure you’ve Already put it together, so I’m not gonna flat out say it, but the arrest record showed the possession and distribution of over 200 counts. He was my best friend for 10 1/2 years and my partner for three of which.. I thought I knew him better than I knew myself. I try not to let it affect my other relationships, in fact, I have a new partner who went through something similar not too long ago, but it’s really hard to trust people when the person you were supposed to trust the most turns out to be a monster like that.
I think I could definitely see myself marrying somebody someday, but seeing as both of my engagements ended around the three year mark of the relationship, I think I would have to be with someone for at least three years before consider marrying them.
The first time around, I stopped drinking. Not only was her entire social life and friend group built around drinking and drugs, she actually got mad at me for stopping. There is a lot of alcohol abuse in my family, and I was starting to head down that same path, so I just flat stopped. Luckily she was just my fiance.
My ex wife never should have been my wife, or at least I should have ended things far sooner. Her job ended the day before our wedding, and she didn't work again until shortly before filing for divorce. And by didn't work, I don't mean just didn't have a paying job. I mean she didn't do anything. The house was disgusting. Mouldy dishes in the sink even though she claimed to wash them all every day. Dog hair in everything. Bills never got paid. When I had to work out of town, I'd come home to mounds of laundry and piles of dog crap even though she spent all her time cleaning. Well, all the kids have signs of FAS, before the divorce I found a closet in "her area" that was better stocked than some bars, and now she seems to have some level of early onset dementia.
We just grew apart to the point it felt like I was the only one that wanted to be in the relationship
He didn't know what he wanted after four years, and he wanted me to manage his finances like his mom if he moved into the house I was shopping for. I was drinking heavy, he was wallowing in self pity. We were good for each other for a time, but we outgrew each other. His next partner got everything from him we said we wanted, my next partner and i have an amazing life building our dreams together and then some. I'm happy for him, but I'm glad we cut our losses.
She said it was pathetic that I still loved her. She was right.
Mountain bikes are actually useful.
I gave him a second chance and he hurt me again... hit me in the face.
I can never trust him or look at him the same way again. Of all people, why does it have to be him that hurts me like this?
Letting go is bitersweet because I really believe I won't meet someone else I connect with like him. But maybe that's all for the best.
I'd rather live alone forever than let anyone hurt me again. Only evil people consistently to bad things to the ones they love.
How do these people get and keep relationships?
1° story: She broke up with the guy she loved the most because she didn't want to discuss their future? She doesn't need to live the life he wanted, just talk about it and reach a compromise
Too irresponsible with money. The nail in the coffin was he decide (by himself) to trade in his nice car but high on miles for a rust cover car that did not have have the bells and whistle. When I ask him how much he spent, he told me to guess. I told him max $2000, but I would need to check the blue book value. He refuse to tell me the price after that. His best friend told me he payed $8000 plus dollars for. The price the car would be worth if it was in mint condition. He got scammed because he refused to wait a few days for the people who knew cars to help him pick one out. I guess he had a point to prove, and did not want to wait for anyone else advice. I was just done after that.
#2 now I know how arrogant and ignorant it is to tell someone else how they actually feel, but it really does sound like op had no idea of what they wanted back then, and have mistaken what they have now for what they always wanted just because it didn't blow up in their face.
Hopefully it isn't something that bothers them because it doesn't sound like it does anyway,but I have difficulty accepting their perspective on how things turned based on the intuition of a high schooler.
Isn’t knowing what you DON’T want enough?
@@theylivetogether8533 not always. In ops case she imagined her life as progressing a formulaic track, and she didn't really say why she didn't want that but indicated that it would have been boring or trapped in some way, which is fine, and that's what she didn't want. Well life doesn't work that way, like at all. What she has now she worked for, she just didn't think she could work for it with the ex I suppose.
My ex become mentally and emotionally abusive towards me and only got worse after our son was born
I hope you're in a better place now. I went through something quite similar and it's devastating. Be strong for your kid. You are so much stronger than your ex wants you to believe ❤
@@feroxsayshello518 I am in a much better place I am married to the man I left my ex for and we have 5 kids between the both us which includes 1 that we had together
Story 5: 12:06 I think it is super unfair to dump on the guy, being crippled by mental health issue is no fun and basically not a choice. I bet he tried a lot in the past but failed and got paralyzed by it, and we don't live his life w know what he deals with. Better show kindness instead and basically saying "what a loser, yikes". You may end up being"the loser" yourself at some point you never know
she moved to another country
Because she got with my friend
Incorrect, Mountain bike > Wife or GF
Someone needs a paternity test
It was my discovery of my asexuality and I have told him. He said it was fine but constantly touched me and even grabbed me to have any interaction of skin. Honestly I think trauma from that made me asexual, but to this day, I'm not sure
If a mountain biker put their partner before their bikes that would be an even bigger red flag than if a lazy person put a mountain bike before their partner. Partners who are too into you are way worse than partners who arnt into you enough!
No suprise all of the op are women lol.
They always self sabotage