Twelve Signs of a Sadistic Partner: Unmasking a Malignant Narcissist

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  • Опубліковано 20 тра 2024
  • Sadism is characterised by having a desire to inflict pain and misery on others for pleasure or to control and dominate. Alongside psychopathy, narcissism and Machiavellianism, sadism is the fourth part of The Dark Tetrad.
    Through examples and insights this video outlines looks at the key characteristics of sadistic side of the dark personality, and how a sadistic narcissist operates within a relationship, their manipulation techniques, gaslighting, parental alienation and abuse. Looking also a their dark empathy, enjoyment of others' suffering, and insatiable thirst for power and control at any cost.
    00:00 Intro
    01:35 Signs of a sadistic partner
    11:15 Conclusion
    Explosive Sadism • Sadistic Personality T...
    Tyrannical Sadism • Sadistic Personality T...
    Enforcing Sadism • Sadistic Personality T...
    Spineless Sadism • Sadistic Personality T...
    Sadistic Personality • Four Subtypes of Sadis...
    Please feel free to suggest any topics you might like me to cover in future videos.
    If you found this video interesting please consider supporting me on Patreon
    / dfmagee
    #sadisticnarcissist #narcissisticabuseawareness #narcissistic

КОМЕНТАРІ • 249

  • @emil5884
    @emil5884 10 місяців тому +153

    A sadistic malignant narcissist will keep asking questions to you about a hurtful situation you happen to find yourself in once they pick up on your suffering. They will listen contentedly as you explain what causes you pain. If you naively and inadvertently give out information to them, they will keep coming back for more. Beware!

    • @storytellermich6984
      @storytellermich6984 10 місяців тому +9

      This. Had a "friend" who admitted he was a sexual sadist. I have painful physical condition and mental health issues. I wonder what he got out of it(rhetorical. I know what he did).

    • @Cornusnuttallii
      @Cornusnuttallii 10 місяців тому +16

      And pass on the information to people that they know you least want to have it.

    • @Rabswood296
      @Rabswood296 8 місяців тому +17

      Yes they look for your weak points, what hurts you the most then plan how to attack you using them.

    • @lisamoag6548
      @lisamoag6548 7 місяців тому

      You mean the therapist?
      I do.

    • @kelkrote
      @kelkrote 6 місяців тому +1

      It literally happened to me….4 days ago.
      I wish I had read your comment earlier!

  • @KA-mq4wj
    @KA-mq4wj 8 місяців тому +77

    Very good video. My ex narcissistic husband of 20 years had all 12 of these signs and more. He was truly a sadist. I was so depressed from all the abuse and trauma I was hospitalized many times. He wanted me to die of suicide. These sick people will murder your soul. It’s taken me years to recover. Get out!! and protect your kids, pets too.

    • @vantom9836
      @vantom9836 4 місяці тому +11

      That sounds terrible. How were you hospitalised? My brother is the sadist that I'm uncovering. Thought he was a close friend until a few years ago. "Murder your soul" is exactly how I feel too. But saying that to counselors or psychiatrists doesn't mean anything. Now that I am unmasking him I feel hunted by him but I'm avoiding him as much as possible.

    • @Joulean
      @Joulean 3 місяці тому

      ​​@@vantom9836 keep a mask/low profile. Pretend it's a game of chess: white against black. Winning is getting to a position you can cut contact completely without them knowing where you are and not having a way to discover. You will have to move a considerable distance away and possibly let go of mutual contacts. If you do this you will minimize the chances of incredible harm these individuals often do when their victims wake up and try to distance themselves. Good luck 🙏🏼

    • @Musicmanrobert
      @Musicmanrobert 3 місяці тому +4

      You need to watch out for uncontrolled sadism it is dangerous, Some have killed. A professional who has learned to control it can be useful to those who like pain

  • @matilda4406
    @matilda4406 10 місяців тому +43

    "constant barrage of malice" sums it up well

  • @izawaniek2568
    @izawaniek2568 10 місяців тому +57

    This is exactly what sadists do. Sadism manifests in the ways you have described. I have experienced many of them. Evil is driving those cruel people.

  • @Theowlhawk
    @Theowlhawk 7 місяців тому +39

    As a child , to think monsters may be under our beds, my parents were monsters hiding in human suits, thought my father was worse, but now realise my mother is just as demonic, in more covert ways, which I found the hardest, to heal from.

    • @Joulean
      @Joulean 3 місяці тому +4

      Exact same here. Covert malignant NPD "mother" (she did no mothering fam) and covert sociopath "father". I was oh so misguided to fear anything but them.

    • @alicewright4322
      @alicewright4322 3 місяці тому +1

      There is a point in life when you transition from being afraid of sharks/aliens/ghosts ect. to being afraid of war/pathological people/random accidental death and other more realistic things. I think for many there is also an in-between stage where they wrongly feel invincible.

    • @aud773
      @aud773 2 місяці тому +1

      Same. My husband dealt with it too, only worse and it was only his mother as his dad wasn't in the picture. Seeing that kind of pure evil up close will sure make you a believer in the supernatural.

    • @beautypablotamarini7315
      @beautypablotamarini7315 Місяць тому

      Same...
      Such parent, from one side...others,from other side (who didn't want to believe me)

  • @MM-zs7rp
    @MM-zs7rp 10 місяців тому +102

    I swear this fits my ex - I’ll never forget him texting me while I was in the ER for kidney stones asking when I would take the kids back because he has things to do. Or when he yelled at me for bothering him while I was having a miscarriage and asked him to drive me to the hospital because I passed out from pain. Other people don’t even seem to be seen as human by him when it conflicts with his wants

    • @The_NutritionChef
      @The_NutritionChef 8 місяців тому +5

      Im sorry i hope you’re finding healing and more peace now🌸

    • @amber40494
      @amber40494 8 місяців тому

      Omg, that's demonic. When I had breast cancer my ex told me he was taking me off his médical insurance!

    • @spliffspiegel834
      @spliffspiegel834 3 місяці тому +4

      Accurate. I had called an ambulance because I didn't know what was going on. The pain and strange feelings of nausea while also feeling like I had to relieve myself without being able to was deeply concerning. When I got to the hospital, I found out I had kidney stones. One of the worst experiences I've ever had. After I called the ambulance, I texted her to let her know what was going on, and instead of wondering if I was okay or what was going to happen, she started to shame me for trying to get out of spending time with my kids. It's insane.

    • @Aochic
      @Aochic Місяць тому +1

      Imagine having the nurses turned against you by this person after giving birth!!!! That's what I dealt with.

    • @the_grassy_noel
      @the_grassy_noel 26 днів тому

      😢💔Yep, I've been thru similar. They are Monsters to those who are closest to them.

  • @danishrover6984
    @danishrover6984 10 місяців тому +57

    You just described my ex-wife to the teeth. Thought she was a covert narc but this is more like her. She would like to starte and argument just for the "fun" of it and wake me up in the middle of the night because she had an issue. And she made sure that every time I wanted to spend time outside the home I was told that I was ego centric and didn't love the family and her. The smirk and the black eyes are the things that really mess with your mind. Never again.

    • @ShadowJerker-st3lj
      @ShadowJerker-st3lj 7 місяців тому +2

      This was my mother, I went no contact. I ended up in a relationship with what I believe is a covert narc but I’m not a therapist. I’m struggling if I have a personality disorder from the abuse from him and the abuse I put him through.

    • @sofiaisabella3317
      @sofiaisabella3317 6 місяців тому +6

      I know it’s not a gender battle, and I’ve encountered my fair share of annoying and scary men. But it really gets to me when women do this. My mother did, and I had a few ‘friends’ who would beat down their partner and others and outright say that’s fun. It makes me want to throw up. I now have No patience for that anymore and have started calling them out. Relationship over ofcourse but they ain’t fooling me. That’s sick behavior, not a badge of honor!

  • @chelleb3055
    @chelleb3055 10 місяців тому +94

    I grew up the youngest in a family of extroverted sadistic/sociopathic narcissists. I can't even begin to describe how damaged I was as a kind hearted introvert until I finally went no contact and got the proper help I needed to begin to heal. It's like growing up with actual demons.

    • @katielung6515
      @katielung6515 9 місяців тому +15

      💯 spot on - demons alright

    • @user-zy8gk2nn7d
      @user-zy8gk2nn7d 9 місяців тому

      because they are demons - just remember their eyes - there is nothing human in them - sometimes you can see they are all black (psychopathic rage) or eyes change their shape (if you have experienced it you know what I ma talking about).

    • @user-cz9mj7od3k
      @user-cz9mj7od3k 9 місяців тому +4

      Are you able to present as extroverted?

    • @chelleb3055
      @chelleb3055 9 місяців тому

      Not very well @@user-cz9mj7od3k

    • @TheWilliamHoganExperience
      @TheWilliamHoganExperience 9 місяців тому +21

      Describes my mother perfectly. Straight from hell. I went no contact with her over a decade ago. Best day of my life was when I got news of her death late last year. She was 87. I was 58. The world finally feels reasonably safe. Better, even though I know there are plenty of other demons.
      At least my own mother isn't amoung them

  • @lindseyw2791
    @lindseyw2791 8 місяців тому +14

    I looked after my mother for 16 years after my father died. Visiting her every Saturday in that time, when she became demented slightly more regularly. I worked 80 miles away full time and lived 40 miles in the other direction away from her. 3 months after she died my narcissistic husband and my 2 manipulative children sat me down and tore strips off me for still grieving for her and that I needed help. Cruelty like none other.

  • @vidarignault4437
    @vidarignault4437 9 місяців тому +47

    You have just perfectly described my husband of 58 years!! It is as though you you knew him intimately!! I have been a widow now for 3 1/2 years and couldn’t be happier!! The only thing I could add to all you said would be that his narcissism became steadily worse and more vindictive with age!!

    • @user-oy6oy1te3f
      @user-oy6oy1te3f 6 місяців тому +9

      Enjoy your life to the fullest now. You deserve it . Thank you for sharing your story .

    • @hiddenhand6973
      @hiddenhand6973 3 місяці тому +3

      I hope you’re still doing well. Your comment made my heart hurt for you. 58 years is a very long time.

    • @nicholecornes1915
      @nicholecornes1915 2 місяці тому +2

      Yes! They do!

    • @caroleminke6116
      @caroleminke6116 9 годин тому +1

      ♥️

  • @MoPoppins
    @MoPoppins 10 місяців тому +44

    I could have benefited from knowing EVERYTHING in this video as a toddler-anyone who’s not a narc, and is exposed to narcs (isn’t that most people?), should know ALL the info in this video,so they’ll understand what’s happening, and that they can never do anything to change it (other than quietly sneak away).

    • @GingerNinja1
      @GingerNinja1 10 місяців тому +10

      They should show this as an educational tool or similar type videos on this & other disorders in hs health education class. Could save a LOT of ppl from future devastation.

    • @MoPoppins
      @MoPoppins 10 місяців тому +6

      @@GingerNinja1 💯 x 💯!!!

    • @ianarn
      @ianarn 10 місяців тому +5

      Yes it seems the final discard has to come from you otherwise you just get stuck in their harem with endless devaluation triangulation and abuse followed by shorter episodes of love bombing!

    • @MoPoppins
      @MoPoppins 10 місяців тому +6

      @@ianarn Yup…isn’t that funny? Narcs hate you & criticize you incessantly, and they’re “too good for you,” YET even with their working legs, THEY DON’T LEAVE! 😂

    • @tbacon2784
      @tbacon2784 8 місяців тому +3

      ​@@ianarnI don't even get the love bombing any more...

  • @ckvarnmass
    @ckvarnmass 10 місяців тому +15

    Whenever my ex narc saw someone get hurt, he would laugh a sadistic laugh.

  • @cp9023
    @cp9023 10 місяців тому +48

    It's like you lived in the house with myself and my now deceased 2nd husband. I'm so glad for your education and others. You literally saved my life.

  • @karenk2409
    @karenk2409 9 місяців тому +13

    I lived with this for decades, and it accelerated especially after retirement and children leaving (no witnesses) ... until I fled for my life.

  • @ianarn
    @ianarn 10 місяців тому +31

    My ex girlfriend almost out of the blue one day said “how can i punish you” i thought she was joking and didn’t take it seriously as she seemed fun and playful other than a previous silent treatment. I mentioned the Caroline Flack lamping event as an example of what not to do. I didn’t think anything mor of it apart from when she occasionally pushed me really hard when i was asleep. After refusing a baby request after only 10 months of pretty unstable dating where i was constantly triangulated with other men she kicked me incredibly hard in the backside when i was asleep. The next evening we had an argument and she said “if you go that’s the last time your coming back here”. I quickly exited as i didn’t trust sleeping there another night so her control tactics ultimately back fired on her. The first night i was actually with her she bit my lips really hard and sadistically there was nothing playful about it. I guess she was testing how much abuse I’m could withstand for later. It was the kind of bite that I hadn’t had since a toddler bit me when i was a little kid in the sandpit. I imagine this is congruent with narcissists only having the emotional development of a 3 year old despite being a chronological adult in their 30s with a mature intellect and body.

    • @neilmurphy966
      @neilmurphy966 8 місяців тому +4

      That's horrible.. I hope u have a really true loving partner now.. glad u got outa there sounds like she will end up in jail in time if continues with anyone else!!!

    • @ianarn
      @ianarn 8 місяців тому +4

      @@neilmurphy966 thanks! No I’m still recovering really! Still see her at a social even 7 months later! Obviously we don’t talk to each other.

    • @boxelder9167
      @boxelder9167 7 місяців тому +4

      I’ve been bit like you described and also attacked in my sleep. Once I was awake and she bit me in her sleep enough to break the skin and draw blood. At this point in my life I can’t sleep if someone is in the same room with me. I had a narcissistic stepmom who also had a thing with attacking me when I was asleep. How I attracted that aggression later in life after having escaped it is a horrific mystery.

    • @ianarn
      @ianarn 7 місяців тому +2

      @@boxelder9167 That’s terrible! Apart from girls at school that was the most violent and narcissistic girlfriend I’ve ever had!

  • @GordonPavilion
    @GordonPavilion 10 місяців тому +67

    Parental Alienation really IS a thing, and you are correct, the act of alienation can, and often does, start long before a separation takes place.

    • @talbenavraham1478
      @talbenavraham1478 8 місяців тому +5

      It can be planned in advance.

    • @PhonoDirect
      @PhonoDirect 8 місяців тому +2

      @@talbenavraham1478Especially by the mothers. They know the state is backing them.

  • @JudeMichaelPeterson
    @JudeMichaelPeterson 8 місяців тому +12

    Reminds me a lot of my father. I remember that glint of pleasure in his eyes when he'd watch people, especially me, in pain. Disrespect for people and their property was his way. And the denial when he got caught breaking things or hurting children.

    • @NeonDungeon
      @NeonDungeon 3 місяці тому +3

      This. But when there's an outing of their behavior they switch into the good Samaritan and instantly go looking for people to supoort the notion that they are indeed outstanding members of society/community or the family. And your social anxiety and sensitivity gets labeled ad crazy or attention seeking or like your sanity is slipping (and it is!) but you're actually so against it and thats why they're painting you like that and you're watching them like a bird with a broken wing from a distance as they feed into the role of saviour/good guy/provider wondering how the fuck nobody else can see their predatory nature!

    • @KellenAdair
      @KellenAdair Місяць тому

      ​@@NeonDungeonExactly. Both the overt and the covert. 😢

  • @vantom9836
    @vantom9836 4 місяці тому +7

    "Insults disguised as jokes." Thanks for hitting that nail on the head. This is something covert about my brother that I have struggled to explain to even counselors. My brother also fits multiple other signs like enjoying others' misfortune, including laughing about pets dying, and public humiliation and drawing attention to people's failures. And constantly seeming like he wants some kind of argument and then to derail and dominate it. It's not about the argument or topic but just finding someone to tussle with without admitting it. And yes, there is a constant sense of intensification to his toxicity over time. I'm really avoiding and minimising contact as much as possible and it feels like fighting/flighting for my life!

  • @jandreith2621
    @jandreith2621 4 місяці тому +9

    I've learned recently about Narcissistic families. In the family of 5, I was their scapegoat. My life with family was confusing with physical violence. I reconize today what was happening. I spent 30 years in counseling. They nerver came up with a Narcissistic family. Is narcissism a new thing? Learning has helped me a great deal. Everyone never underestimate what a narcissistic people will do. Most people don't believe this could be real. Stand on what you know. Having sanity is much better.

    • @caroleminke6116
      @caroleminke6116 9 годин тому +1

      Terrible therapists hurt me more than helped & I prefer UA-cam with great people like Dr Les Carter as well as here ♥️

  • @scottwwsi
    @scottwwsi 10 місяців тому +11

    I was entangled for 1-1/2 years....the worse encounter I've ever had.

  • @robertrostad3930
    @robertrostad3930 9 місяців тому +8

    Growing up with a pain in the ass parent. One week: “I hid it from you, to teach you a lesson…” another week passes: “I haven’t seen it, maybe it was the little elves.”

  • @lilaccilla
    @lilaccilla 10 місяців тому +32

    Thank You! in other words they are a typical Bully ! I learned all about this growing up the youngest for seven years as the scapegoat . I was number 5 in a dysfunctional family of 6 kids . And I even had to deal with other cruel kids my mom would take care of also.

    • @nigelswindles1129
      @nigelswindles1129 10 місяців тому +13

      Live a good life my friend , it's the greatest revenge

    • @Aochic
      @Aochic Місяць тому +1

      Ditto 6 of 7. Still the scapegoat. Of course, always having narcissist in my life not realizing it. So glad I finally figured it out and broke the cycle!!!!

  • @justChristine
    @justChristine 10 місяців тому +22

    Yes to all, ive experienced all of this from my Dad older sister and husband. Very accurate.

  • @daedalusjones4228
    @daedalusjones4228 3 місяці тому +5

    These videos have enabled me to for the fist time recognize (and name) the full extent of what she did to me. I’ve stayed alone ever since, out of fear, for decades.

    • @Aochic
      @Aochic Місяць тому +3

      Ppl ask: Do I date? No! I will never risk being in that type of situation again. Life is so much easier when you can walk away from these ppl

  • @SharkE747
    @SharkE747 8 місяців тому +7

    Everything except for the clothing issue fits the life I lived for over 23 years. Intimacy was basically a dead bed up until I was almost completely destroyed emotionally when EVERYTHING switched. I understand it all now.

  • @kathleenbristol6747
    @kathleenbristol6747 10 місяців тому +29

    My husband narc. is all those signs.Its not safe mentally and emotionally here.

    • @garryyoung8945
      @garryyoung8945 10 місяців тому +7

      You have to get away.

    • @kathleenbristol6747
      @kathleenbristol6747 10 місяців тому +7

      @@garryyoung8945 I'm slowly working on it,he's on disability,and I'm retired,so I'll have to do it one step at a time!

    • @garryyoung8945
      @garryyoung8945 10 місяців тому +4

      @@kathleenbristol6747 I’m very sorry to hear of your predicament. Mine nearly killed me, I’m twenty one years gone and she still won’t leave me alone.

    • @kathleenbristol6747
      @kathleenbristol6747 10 місяців тому +3

      @@garryyoung8945 I'm so sorry that your still going through all that they are such evil people.Ive been married for 16yrs of complete stress.I would like to pray for you! I wouldn't mind prayers,too!

    • @garryyoung8945
      @garryyoung8945 10 місяців тому

      @@kathleenbristol6747 Please consider it done. I wish you all the best.

  • @oldflowertender
    @oldflowertender 10 місяців тому +14

    Yrs after breakup, I always secretly called my first, serious, long-term boyfriend a sadist. I didn't have the understanding to be confident to say it out loud. But I certainly don't doubt it now. A lot of suffering, hurt and control occurred for 4 years. I wld eventually learn how to steer clear frm those types (mum was one). But not until i felt a great amount of hurt frm people I thought loved me. I'd like to have the opportunity to tell him and all our friends abt his fuckery, but I'll have to be satisfied with using him in stories like this... as the referenced bad guy.

  • @ladycampion
    @ladycampion 10 місяців тому +20

    Hmm... I never really thought of some of these things as being actually sadistic... I think it'll take me a little while to absorb this expanded definition of the word! Thank you.

  • @jillallcock
    @jillallcock 10 місяців тому +9

    EXACTLY WHI IM DEALING WITH..NO CONTACT ..ON MY END AT LEAST.

  • @JUMPforyourLIFE
    @JUMPforyourLIFE 6 місяців тому +4

    Being in a toxic relationship and with a suspected NRC or BPD partner, could actually be one of the great moments of your life, in such a way that if you are ready, and are not particularly inclined to create a victim identity for yourself, you may actually be able to recreate yourself and find a measure of self love that before hand might have taken many years to figure out. That is if the NRC doesn’t off you first, because you are their property, in their eyes and from their supreme sense of entitlement, even if it is not at all true. I hope everyone who reads this understands how much danger you are in by keeping these toxic covert poisonous people around. Save yourself.

  • @spiritual2020
    @spiritual2020 9 місяців тому +11

    I was married to a covert, malignant narcissist for 15 years. I've experienced all 12 of your signs. We had 3 children 9,11, and 13 when my ex-husband controlled every aspect of separation and divorce. Oh, how I hated him with a passion back then. Separation day was April 26, 2001; the WORST AND BEST DAY OF MY LIFE. The worst because o the way it happened. The best because I was then away from his ass.

    • @kaitlincox9714
      @kaitlincox9714 Місяць тому

      I want to leave but I'm so afraid. He won't let me go. I know he will punish me.

    • @KellenAdair
      @KellenAdair Місяць тому

      You need to get to a shelter ASAP. Take the kids and dog. And get all your evidence ready and a PPO request in.

    • @spiritual2020
      @spiritual2020 Місяць тому

      @@KellenAdair​​⁠Why are you replying back to me in this way? If you actually read my comment, you wouldn’t have responded in this way. I clearly used the word WAS in first sentence. Not the word AM. I also clearly stated this was back in 2001. TWENTY THREE YEARS AGO.
      Maybe your response is meant for Kaitlyn Cox, the lady that also responded underneath my comment.

  • @hasansarhan9296
    @hasansarhan9296 10 місяців тому +14

    The most dangerous type

  • @matilda4406
    @matilda4406 10 місяців тому +10

    relentless, dominating and amoral with stealing and destroying other people's items, yes

    • @shirleyguinyard8183
      @shirleyguinyard8183 9 місяців тому +1

      This is what I'm dealing with on a regular with me Narcissist Husband

  • @Cornusnuttallii
    @Cornusnuttallii 10 місяців тому +12

    Thank you, Darren. I'm learning so much about the man I left eleven years ago. I used to think he was just a narcissist that had spent too much time in religious schools. He is a PhD organic chemist. Something that has always bewildered me is how through all of this, including trying to push me down staircases, is that whenever something serious would happen, he would "be crushed." For instance, when people we were acquainted with would die, or when his son ran into a man on a bike and killed him, he appeared to take these things very personally. Is "appeared" key here? I mean, tears and all. I have seen him display tears also when relaying a story about someone whom he helped in some way. But not for anyone else, such as my mother or father. He displayed all of these sadistic traits that you outline, as well as negligent narcissism, and some covert.

  • @dianahogg6164
    @dianahogg6164 9 місяців тому +10

    My father was a quiet unassuming man a knowledgeable deep thinking man. A county Armagh man. His saying was. Wait you will get them in the long grass. My two sisters and I heard this and it is becoming more true. No need to fret. Time will tell. When I was saved by Woman's Aid the year before lockdown. I was quietly entertained sitting back and watching the narcs activities. Brilliant. Once he knew I knew his game he walked out the door quiet and couldn't wait to get away. I locked the door on his heal and never looked back.

    • @hiddenhand6973
      @hiddenhand6973 3 місяці тому +1

      Your dad would be very proud. I like that saying and he was right.

  • @AnonAnon1
    @AnonAnon1 10 місяців тому +16

    Great video! I guess these people could realistically treat anyone like that.

  • @sueg2658
    @sueg2658 3 місяці тому +3

    This describes my ex husband I was married to him 20+ years. And also my mother was a narcissist but I didn’t realize until just now she was a malignant narcissist as well! YIKES!

  • @demigaines5644
    @demigaines5644 9 місяців тому +6

    Thank You So.very Much For Sharing This
    I Was In A Relationship With A Sadistic Overt Narcissist.
    He Destroyed My Life My Self worth And Self Esteem.He Discarded Me
    In April He Continues To Punish Me With The Silent Treatment.This Is What Broke
    Me. Down Narcissistic Abuse Is Very Brutal

  • @IrenaHlinkova-lt3sv
    @IrenaHlinkova-lt3sv 14 днів тому +1

    Thank you! The biggest value of this video and my deepest appreciation for it is the fact alone that someone actually believes you that it is not your fault. Everything is 100% absolutely correct. The only thing I would add that the maliciousness is so professional and cunning that without these videos I could never figure it out myself. Only thing I will add to the list is that they don't have absolutely any moral accountability for anything, but in this example for lying. They will deny in one sentence what they said at the beginning of it. Thank you once again. Your work is much appreciated.

  • @milliehummer4713
    @milliehummer4713 7 місяців тому +5

    My ex husband would repeatedly threaten my pets and even kick my little dogs in front of me. Then I would keep them in their crates to keep them safe. At this point he would yell at me that the dogs had to “locked up” so they were bad pets! He actually got excited about watching my disabled sister being told of her dog’s sudden death.

  • @pavanatanaya
    @pavanatanaya 8 місяців тому +5

    My brother is sadistic I fear
    He laughs at otgher people's misfortune, and he gets sullen when someone else succeeds

  • @winter-qd4yw
    @winter-qd4yw 10 місяців тому +13

    Thanks for this video. I know my Ex is vindictive but also fits some of these:(. I know this for sure; I have gone no contact but he still does everything he can yo punish me. I don’t think it will ever end which is sad because he had taken everything from me but apparently it is not enough.

  • @katelanning2338
    @katelanning2338 7 місяців тому +4

    This describes my ex to a tee .

  • @karlippo
    @karlippo 10 місяців тому +9

    What’s the difference between a sadist and a psychopath I see so many overlaps

  • @ryanpepin642
    @ryanpepin642 6 місяців тому +2

    She would definitely hide my stuff but the most devious of hiding was hiding my family photos from my childhood behind her family photos in a hidden photo album. She literally tried to make me crazy and forget my past so I know no other

  • @peat_dont_repeat
    @peat_dont_repeat 10 місяців тому +9

    Please Darren I have heard you say you are open to hearing how the video sounds and stuff on live stuff you do. I believe what I brought up about sadistic narcissism is a good point. I think they tell on themselves to get rid of guilt and get away with it.

  • @sofiaisabella3317
    @sofiaisabella3317 6 місяців тому +2

    I know the videos are not substitutes for therapy, and I’m in therapy for recovery from the relations and aftermath of family and other types. But it really helps putting a description to something that is so unimaginable that it helps when someone breaks it down as you cannot wrap your head around nor have the vocabulary to describe the reasons for the terror you felt since it was a game you sensed was going on but don’t know the rules for. So it does help. It helps letting go, because the emotion is being translated. The terror of moving on and not being severely harmed gets put into perspective. Even though there is no contact, I still felt it as being a threat.

  • @elizabethdean0187
    @elizabethdean0187 5 місяців тому +2

    Exceptionally important info for me in navigating around my two narcissistic sibs h sadly, even in our late 60s/early 70s. I need to both have compassion for the basis for their narcissism (childhood trauma in my view), and being able to structure social situations to avoid their often inappropriateness, hurtful sadistic remarks. Given they are more apt to ‘act out’ when one on one, I structure group get togethers. This is better but basically I do not enjoy being in their presence given the uncertainty of what could come at you. Professor-Elizabeth

  • @LV4REAL
    @LV4REAL 3 місяці тому +3

    Great video. I'm so glad to see you're making more recently! 😁 Thanks!

  • @gregoryritchie7852
    @gregoryritchie7852 6 місяців тому +4

    GREATLY appreciate this video! I LIVED under such a sadistic malignant person - unsuspecting of him, my church pastor, of all people.

    • @user-zp4lf3lv6x
      @user-zp4lf3lv6x 4 місяці тому +2

      People we look up to or authority cops Dr's nurses politicians bosses etc judges it goes on and on

  • @caroleminke6116
    @caroleminke6116 9 годин тому +1

    5 years of pure hell in earth with one of these sadists who was on show the moment his feet hit the driveway until finally he left for good when I went totally gray rock & he just disappeared

  • @Privacityuser
    @Privacityuser 5 місяців тому +2

    psychologizing" or "psychologizer." These terms are not very common, but they can be used to describe someone who interprets people's behavior in psychological terms excessively or uses psychology language in a simplified manner to categorize others. It's important to note that labeling people solely based on psychological terms can be reductionist and may not capture the full complexity of human nature.

  • @JollyJumper777
    @JollyJumper777 25 днів тому +1

    It's sad to be like this.

  • @rawmotiongraphicsart6798
    @rawmotiongraphicsart6798 9 місяців тому +2

    Ironically, while Your video was about hate, I SO LOVE 💞

  • @c.mareeharris4615
    @c.mareeharris4615 10 місяців тому +4

    Thank You!

  • @SimoneJassmann-jr5bl
    @SimoneJassmann-jr5bl 8 місяців тому +2

    Extremely helpful video

  • @tonyarussell8419
    @tonyarussell8419 10 місяців тому +4

    Excellent information. Thank you 🙏

  • @angelaapruzzese8347
    @angelaapruzzese8347 7 місяців тому +3

    THANKYOU DARREN
    FOR YOUR CHANNEL WISDOM
    AND INSIGHT
    🙏😘🌸💖🌹🧿

  • @WalkerHoundGal
    @WalkerHoundGal 2 місяці тому +2

    Thank you for posting your amazing videos, Mr. Magee. ❤

  • @christopheriwaniuk2589
    @christopheriwaniuk2589 2 місяці тому +2

    Thank you!

  • @angelaapruzzese8347
    @angelaapruzzese8347 7 місяців тому +1

    THANKYOU
    FOR YOUR CHANNEL AND VIDEOS
    DARREN I APPRECIATE
    NOW I KNOW THE ABUSIVE SADISM
    AND ABUSIVE BEHAVIOR I HAVE AND HAD BEEN THRU AND EVEN
    MORE DISTRESSING THAT HE AND
    THEY GOT IMMERSE PLEASURE
    OUT OF DOING IT ITS SO SO SAD
    😔😥😢😭

  • @ladyvirgo9514
    @ladyvirgo9514 8 місяців тому +3

    Just prior to my husband discarding me, he literally was flaunting in my face that he had been screwing the secretary from his work. Of course he didn't come out and say it, he just flaunted coming home with his shirt undone way down his chest at like 9pm when he works day shift. Hes shacked up with her and still currently married to me. So evil 😈 now i realize why he would laugh at serious matters

    • @w8what575
      @w8what575 8 місяців тому +3

      Don’t let it get to ur self esteem….ur a good person and deserve so much better then that pos….what kind of pig does that to their spouse other then scum….he can act like he’s doing great and wonderful but just know he’s with another person because he’s dead inside and needs someone to suck the life out of…he’s drained u to the point u aren’t giving him the attention he wants and needs….kind of like how the pets get worms….ur husband would be the worm slowly trying to kill off the pet in order to survive…I’ve been divorced for 15 years now and am still learning who I am and how to love myself….before I left, I was clueless of who I really was…I had no hobbies didn’t know what music I really liked etc…I had just been existing for 14 years while he openly cheated on me and then blamed me for him cheating….he had me believing I was ugly and deformed as a woman only to discover that is not the case according to his friends lol….I’ve had a few dating situations that turned out to be even worse then the ex….and that’s when I discovered it’s me attracting these types by what I subconsciously believe ….that I don’t deserve love or respect….I’m unworthy and so on….now, I’m completely different…I won’t tolerate the slightest comment intending on tearing me down….or poor treatment…..my ex used to tell me no man will ever want me…..it got to the point I was ok with that possibility cuz id rather be alone then with him for one more minute…remember he will be doing the same thing he’s doing to u now, to her very soon. Just be cold and emotionless towards him cuz to him, bad attention is still attention he’s taking from u….u deserve better then that pos…u will meet someone that fits with u so well…u won’t even remember how shitty it is right now….u will be happy….he won’t ever be happy….and that should put a smile on ur face ….God bless

    • @ladyvirgo9514
      @ladyvirgo9514 8 місяців тому +1

      @w8what575 thank you so much for the encouragement 🙏 You really touched my heart & remind me that there are good people out here✨️❤️ I blocked him today because he had the audacity to wish me a happy birthday yesterday 🤷‍♀️ Can you believe the nerve!? All interactions can be done by the attorneys from now on. Again, THANK YOU because I'm still in this hurt,it's a rather fresh realization

  • @peat_dont_repeat
    @peat_dont_repeat 10 місяців тому +7

    Nice job... I do struggle to hear you. My volume is turned up all the way and I have new speakers on my MacBook. I just checked you tube volume all the way up. It just seems like you are far from the microphone. Oh yea I wonder if there is a word counter how many spoken in a minute. I can do pretty good following that with the right sound. Your sound is clear just a little soft. IDK maybe it is just me. I think sadistic narcissist tell on themselves in a way they can later lie about it and get away with it and they like getting caught and get away with it.

  • @crystalvanwijk
    @crystalvanwijk 6 місяців тому +1

    Great video

  • @angelabrainky7786
    @angelabrainky7786 10 місяців тому +3

    Thank you.

  • @sayusayme7729
    @sayusayme7729 4 місяці тому +1

    Thank you 🦉

  • @brianmounts2844
    @brianmounts2844 10 місяців тому +4

    Thank you

  • @dschenk4086
    @dschenk4086 9 місяців тому +2

    Ok your information hits home, how do you move on from an individual like this?

  • @Aochic
    @Aochic Місяць тому +1

    Its not a need to win a war, its that the person is always going to be their perceived enemy.

  • @danielaspitz3052
    @danielaspitz3052 8 місяців тому +3

    All of the low/midrange, so called covert Narcissists I know are really sadistic

  • @amber40494
    @amber40494 8 місяців тому +2

    Omg, my father to a tee. We kids were afraid of him.

  • @hiddenhand6973
    @hiddenhand6973 3 місяці тому +4

    According to Catholicism it is a sin to take pleasure in someone else’s suffering or misfortune.

  • @bellesterbeatty3571
    @bellesterbeatty3571 Місяць тому +1

    I am getting my will made!

  • @SaritWorld
    @SaritWorld 7 місяців тому +1

    Omg.
    Thank you❤ so politocal...

  • @afol4016
    @afol4016 Місяць тому +2

    Unless you witness it, you wouldn't Believe it!

  • @hrmpk26
    @hrmpk26 8 місяців тому +1

    Wow you made a whole video describing my dad.

  • @justice8563
    @justice8563 4 місяці тому +1

    Please speak more on this topic. I’m being tortured unmercifully by a person who acts like a terminator hell bent to destroy me no matter where I go or what I do.

  • @AjimoleVarghese
    @AjimoleVarghese 3 місяці тому +1

    True, true, true 👍

  • @kaitlincox9714
    @kaitlincox9714 Місяць тому +1

    I hate that im breaking down. Im depressed and my idiotic self tried explaining that to him. Now i dont love or care about him. He is asking every 5 minutes what is wrong. I said i told you im feeling down. Give me a couple days then ill snap back into whatever im supposed to be. Yet he feels attacked. Why am i not stroking his ego? How dare i have emotions. The cruelty of no rest. He ups the torture. And he knows it. 😢

  • @Arnot73
    @Arnot73 9 місяців тому

    Thank you so much for all these videos, I have just discovered your channel - VERY helpful. Sorry to ask this but in concert with the above material and some of the others, my question is: would is be possible be a Narcissistic Sociopath with Sadistic tendencies as well as Borderline Personality Disorder? Is that even possible? thank you again and for even taking the time to possibly respond 🙏

    • @boxelder9167
      @boxelder9167 7 місяців тому +2

      There’s a lot of overlap in the symptoms but the same lesson applies- don’t be there or you will be their target. You’ll have to decide if it’s worth staying long enough to get the exact diagnosis by analyzing their repeated abuse.

    • @KellenAdair
      @KellenAdair Місяць тому +1

      I would say yes. Thinking my older Covert Narc bro turned into a secondary psychopath. If not a primary one. Definitely, predatory and sadistic!

    • @Arnot73
      @Arnot73 Місяць тому +1

      @@boxelder9167 🙏 I had to leave for mental and physical safety. It's taken months for recovery.

    • @Arnot73
      @Arnot73 Місяць тому

      @@KellenAdair 🙏

  • @nicholecornes1915
    @nicholecornes1915 2 місяці тому

    Yes!

  • @stellablue7435
    @stellablue7435 Місяць тому

    "They have a level of empathy but no sympathy". A good one to never forget.

    • @Aochic
      @Aochic Місяць тому

      Selective empathy

    • @KellenAdair
      @KellenAdair Місяць тому

      Cold empathy that's feigned.

  • @clogs4956
    @clogs4956 9 місяців тому +3

    I still believe it’s not possible to definitively label a Narcissist.
    Mine displays a range of behaviours, which include quite a lot of these, but I don’t think he’s sadistic so much as looking for opportunities to start another argument where shouting the loudest = winning.
    For the record, I refuse to shout back at him because that’s pouring oil on the flames.

  • @heidimoore1832
    @heidimoore1832 4 місяці тому

    Hi Darren. I've known people who present themselves as self-sacrificing and loving similar to an altruistic narcissist, but when they're not around other people, they become a malignant narcissist. Is this a thing that malignant narcissists do? Try to make everyone believe that they are a loving and giving person so that no one believes the person they are truly abusing? This would go as far as starting a series of lies several months in advance about a person when the opposite is in fact true. When the abused person starts talking about what is happening, no one believes them because the malignant narcissist has made so many lies. But it's all done in the guise of the narcissist being so loving and self-sacrificing for the person that they're abusing.

  • @rdbare4216
    @rdbare4216 4 місяці тому +2

    They may love to harm pets.

  • @HisPreciousChild
    @HisPreciousChild 3 місяці тому

    I recognize this behavior again. Does the sadistic narcissist get their energy from the victims when they're subdoing, dominating and hurting the victims? It seems like it would take a lot of energy doing this, mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually. And does the sadist narcissist get that energy by stealing it from the victims in whatever acts the victim is enduring at that time?

  • @bonnielee316
    @bonnielee316 10 місяців тому +6

    Thank you for this video.
    What kind of psychology helps people to deal with a beaten downed mindset? What terminology can I google to help myself? Thank you!

    • @knowtruth2773
      @knowtruth2773 9 місяців тому +5

      Cognitive dissonance is one to look into. Angie Atkerson was one of the many that helped me. She has since passed away, but her videos are still on UA-cam helping people. Dr. Carter is a good one also. I found I needed several different perspectives from different people to put it all together and find some healing. I have forgotten alot of the earlier ones I watched, but hopefully this helps. 😊

    • @bonnielee316
      @bonnielee316 9 місяців тому

      @knowtruth2773,
      Thank you.

    • @LJonno.9499
      @LJonno.9499 8 місяців тому +2

      Check out Narc Con. I am sure her videos will help you😊

    • @bonnielee316
      @bonnielee316 8 місяців тому

      @lindajohnsen9499,
      Thank you! 🙂

    • @SBecktacular
      @SBecktacular 4 місяці тому +1

      cognitive behavioral therapy --- CBT

  • @tim57243
    @tim57243 3 місяці тому

    I have met well adjusted sadists in the BDSM community. Narcissism, BPD, etc. are problems. A sadist who tends to hang out with consenting masochists is not a problem. There are three masochists per sadist, I'm told, so it might make sense to train for it if you are lonely and have any tendencies in that direction. There are classes available. Haven't taken any.
    I would like to better understand the mindset of those three masochists. I have no idea where they are coming from.

  • @selfesteem3447
    @selfesteem3447 8 місяців тому +1

    My verry good friend was just telling me about how years ago
    (she has since quit having sex w/him) her husband got an erection at times for example, when her daughter was in a car accident as he witnessed her despair.
    And there was another similar situation she told of that he got an erection but I can't remember the details of.

  • @dianaschramer5065
    @dianaschramer5065 Місяць тому +1

    My mother and my ex-husband.

  • @Adzes
    @Adzes 9 місяців тому

    My daughter in law is like that,.a real creep

  • @rawmotiongraphicsart6798
    @rawmotiongraphicsart6798 9 місяців тому +1

    Is this at all related to ADHD?

    • @jiniefox6126
      @jiniefox6126 9 місяців тому

      I don't think so. My daughter has ADHD
      She is kind gentle and sweet.

  • @Nattakorps
    @Nattakorps 6 місяців тому +1

    We gotta stop naming terrible personality traits the coolest things ever. Dark Empath? I wanna be whatever kind of wizard that is.

  • @angelaapruzzese8347
    @angelaapruzzese8347 7 місяців тому

    🙏🌸🙏

  • @-cMc-
    @-cMc- 10 місяців тому

    Oh that's my step father 100%. Yeah idk why anyone would choose this personality to date or have a family with... but alas this is my life.

  • @SoniaProteau-cj6tk
    @SoniaProteau-cj6tk 4 місяці тому

    They are in competition with their partners

  • @SoniaProteau-cj6tk
    @SoniaProteau-cj6tk 5 місяців тому

    Honestly it does not matter when u know what your dealing with.

  • @antifiaw2588
    @antifiaw2588 9 місяців тому +2

    Black metal on wood interior design features of narcissist/psychopaths home also a subtle sign hes sadistic.
    The energy vibe the house gives you if you pay attention enough can also be a sign of sadism.
    Owning a Van trades vehicle also great prostitute pick up tool for a day time quickie.
    Pay attention to physical environment. They need visuals to give them comfort that reflects who they really are...creepy.

  • @kimberlyhudon9424
    @kimberlyhudon9424 6 місяців тому

    My sisters husband was the worst that I have ever seen. Her daughter STILL have no contact with her mother. Its been 25 years now. My sisters husband would tear up her clothes, destroy her make-up. tell her children how stupid she is. And the last thing is HE would have never married her if she had not gotten pregnant. My niece repeated this to me when she was 20 or so. So sad hat he would do this to his children

  • @maryw3989
    @maryw3989 8 місяців тому

    He gave me a whole 4 days to grieve the death of my only child before he gave me the following ultimatum If you don't want to give it (sex) to me that I have options and dropped a couple of names. If he's got options why is he still fighting with me about it? Because he doesn't have any options and he knows it.
    He's all about food and sex but he's also been impotent for 15 years and to lazy to put in any effort to do anything to even give the appearance that he's trying to be helpful to me he saves all of that for the people that he likes and will go out of his way for those people so they all think he's the nice guy and I'm the monster. But what would they think of him if they knew the truth about him and how he's always treated me? That's actually a wake up call for all of them today it's me and tomorrow it could easily be anyone of them.