126 Self-Care for Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents with Dr. Lindsay Gibson
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- Опубліковано 30 тра 2024
- Self-Care for Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents Dr. Lindsay Gibson, author of Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents, and Recovering from Emotionally Immature Parents talks about self-care in regards to self-confidence, security, self-connection, self-awareness and emotional self-protection. She talks about how being an adult child impacts a person’s choices and behaviors in relationships. She also talks about how sensitivity can affect a person’s functioning in these areas.
GUEST
Lindsay Gibson, PsyD.
HIGHLIGHTS
Here are some of the questions Dr. Gibson responds to:
Tell us about your most recent book Self Care for Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents. Why did you write this book?
The book has three main sections: what are they, and what can readers expect to get from each topic? Why might adult children of emotionally immature parents (ACEIPs )find these topics especially meaningful?
How do you see sensitivity as a trait possibly affecting a person's functioning in these areas?
Do you see a connection between sensitivity and an ACEIPs feelings of security and self-confidence?
You've mentioned that ACEIPs have been taught not to trust themselves or their self-awareness. Could you talk about this a bit more?
In the book you've talked about the importance of emotional self-protection. Can you explain what that means exactly?
You talk about the crucial importance of a person's inner self-connection. Why do you make that idea such a central focus?
How do these issues affect a person's choices and behaviors in relationship?
GUEST BIO
Lindsay Gibson, PsyD. has been a licensed clinical psychologist for over thirty years and specializes in individual adult psychotherapy with adult children of emotionally immature parents. She is the author of four books. Her book Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents remains a #1 Amazon Best Seller. The follow up to this book is Recovering from Emotionally Immature Parents, and the 2nd edition of her first book Who You Were Meant To Be has been recently released on Amazon. Her latest book, Self Care for Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents, was just released in September 2021. In the past Dr. Gibson has served as an adjunct assistant professor teaching doctoral psychology students, and she writes a monthly Well-Being column for Tidewater Women magazine in Virginia Beach, VA.
PODCAST HOST
Patricia Young hosts the podcast Unapologetically Sensitive, and works with Highly Sensitive People (HSPs) helping them to understand their HSP traits, and turning their perceived shortcomings into superpowers. Patricia is passionate about providing education to help HSPs and non-HSPs understand and truly appreciate the amazing gifts they have to offer. Patricia works globally online with HSPs providing coaching. Patricia also facilitates online groups for HSPs that focus on building community and developing skills (identifying your superpowers, boundaries, perfectionism, dealing with conflict, mindfulness, embracing emotions, creating a lifestyle that supports the HSP, communication and more).
LINKS
Dr. Gibson’s links:
Website- www.drlindsaygibson.com/
Patricia’s links:
Website--www.unapologeticallysensitive.com
Facebook-- / unapologetically-sensi...
Facebook group Unapologetically Sensitive-- / 2099705880047619
Instagram-- / unapologeticallysensitive
UA-cam-- / @patriciayoungmsw1056
e-mail-- unapologeticallysensitive@gmail.com
Show hashtag--#unapologeticallysensitive
Podcast editing by The Podcast Distillery Co thepodcastdistillery.co
Music-- Gravel Dance by Andy Robinson www.andyrobinson.com
people without empathy want u to see how powerful they are, loving people want u to see how powerful u r
This information has been so interesting. What a shame we older adults (children of the 60's and 70's) didn't have this information or the internet back then. What we could have learned! I grew up surrounded by adults for whom I had to take care of their emotional needs. Mom wasn't really one of them, at least not when I was very young. She put me in that role soon enough though and I never even realized it until recently. Always felt honored that I was so "mature" and my mom and I were "friends" etc. Just didn't realize I was being set up to be the parent. I felt like everyone's parent or at least knew I had to behave a certain way to survive. The walking on eggshells thing was ever present when dad was around - and that was for all of us.
Grew up and had no idea who I was, what I could be, what I even wanted or liked. Took me until my 30's and 40's to start even thinking about my identity. Then by my 50's, after losing a job and finding an even better one, it started clicking. Now in my early 60's I get it. In first marriage, hubby asked me what I wanted to do with my life (in the context of he was going to school to better himself and I was just working at work, working at home, taking care of him and everything else). I just broke down crying. The reaction shocked me. Why was I crying? I had no idea who I was or what I wanted, or that it was okay for me to want.
Oh man. I see you. ❤
I very much relate to your experience and insights in so many ways. I got on to a career track yet still now feel adrift and needing to take charge of my life direction. Your insights are your salvation, and I believe mine are my salvation. I am hanging on every word of Lindsay’s knowledge and experience, as I know this is my way forward. Life is short, so for me being pro-active at this stage is all-important as I now have the understanding and the ‘tools’. Thank you for sharing. Professor-Elizabeth
I had very much the same childhood experience as you. 🙁
Also now in my 60's and very grateful for all this new information. ❤
As a highly sensitive daughter of an emotionally immature mother myself I found your interview very useful for my healing journey 🎁 thank you Patricia !
Me too❤
Truth… felt neglected , ignored , not guided or taught much of anything but to fend for myself..
Now I get berated because I didn’t make perfect choices in life.
I’m finally detaching & veering away from parents now,in my 50s
She simply explains my whole childhood to me, why i react the way i do, and she helps me realise that I matter too.
“… to allow themselves to be eclipsed … emotionally coerced through shame and guilt” Absolutely nailed it.
So true!
As a adult children of BPD mother, I am having a nerve breakdwon due to my mind set up, so much of my energy was spent on dealing with the unpleasant emotions caused by work, relationships...I brorrowed this e book from the library imediately . Thank you. I need a good boundary to protect me.
This is one of the best interviews with Lindsay Gibson I've found yet, thank you so much for the care in creating this. It probably makes sense that this resonated with me the most because I am an HSP, and it seems like Patricia was really good at navigating this particular experience and Lindsay followed gracefully through that landscape, I'm impressed and so grateful! I;m in my late 40s and lost my parents some time ago, so I already have had to solve most of these issues on my own, but the new framing is useful and especially helpful in dealing with other emotionally immature family members who are still alive.
I am blown away by how accurate this is. She’s so brilliant. Everything said is so helpful, oh my goodness.
Hugs to everyone. Jeeze, how will we ever find our way. At this point it's just alone right?
This was so commercialized and monetized with the constant advertising interruptions that I had to keep stopping and going back because each commercial interrupted thoughts and sentences. Won't be returning.
This is exactly my story with my EIP, myself and my child. Several scenes of my life are shown to me in this video. Thank you both so much. 👍🙏
i found that when i realized there was more to life that i hadnt known about i got extremely angry because i knew it wasnt something id be able to reach or have the courage to get or was terrified of
It’s helpful to hear this but it also makes me sad because I don’t understand why almost no one gets it and why I do. It’s lonely most of the time…
This is brilliant! I've long wondered why I started having epileptic seizures and nose bleeds as a pre-teen, and then partial seizures after my mother's nervous breakdown, deciding whether or not to divorce my father (after he beat her, which meant she had grounds for divorce). I've just ordered Lindsay Gibson's Self Care book and I'm very much looking forward to reading it. Thank you so much for this podcast. And may you continue to flourish! I'm going to be listening and listening and re-listening to this podcast - every time I hear it, I find ah ha moments .... xxx
I am in good therapy for the first time and my reoccurring toxic thought is, “I am too much.” 15:40
Knowing I was programmed to think that way was very validating. Thank you.
Y'all's detours are valuable too, I get a lot out of them.😅
Adult Offspring is an excellent term.
Seems like everyone was expecting same circumstances more or less
Thank you
My mom NEVER held any of us-- She made excuses as to why she was unable to be a mother, stating she was victimized by it. Preferring us to be left on the floor.
You seem to get it exactly. I’ve only saw 2 videos so far, but is there a discussion on how to find a therapist who isn’t also playing the same emotionally immature games? I had a therapist who, because I was a few minutes late 1st session and a few minutes early 2nd session, made me wait til 10 minutes after starting time while she loudly stirred her tea in the kitchen of her home/office. I was 22 and she was at least twice that. 20 years later and I still am blocked from connecting with other emotionally mature and respectful people. This was around the corner from the UN, so we were both probably targeted. It does feel like i still have to teach therapist these ways of being because no one taught them either but they won’t let me get the credentials to make a living out of my best skills such as these because I really worked at it! While my peers were always out partying, I was trying to have better relationships because I wanted to address my issues head on instead of only numbing out like too many people do…please help me!
Thank you for your wisdom and intelligence, ladies. You've helped me tremendously to understand my childhood and "caretakers" better and to heal past trauma.
but how am i supposed to move on with my life from emotionally immature parents?
exactly
Her recovery book is helpful
This was so good!
Amazing chat! Thanks for doing this.
Unfortunately "immature" is synonyme to "endless cruel". Thank You!! 💖🦚🌹🌠🌻!!
Exactly it's just very light fawning frivolous code word for endless cruelty and abuse so we need to start saying emotionally psychologically violent person. But the culture that these women are coming from is inherently misogynistic and inherently fawning so They will go along to get along. Classic internalized misogyny.
Thanks so much!!! Such a useful information!
Dr. Gibson is awesome, ty!
Hi Patricia. I have a question about HSPs with EI parents. It seems likely that if a HSP continues in a relationship with a (very) EI parent, then it's likely to be quite stressful regardless of learning techniques to manage the encounter. Are HSPs more likely to entertain the idea of breaking off a relationship with a harmful EI parent??
As for me, temptation is very high…right now
Unfortunately, that’s what I’m finally doing & im in my 50s now..
Wish I would of detached from my parents in my early 20s- instead of waiting til my 50s 🫤
Yes for me in learning this info. Challenging my mom in these areas brought out the worst and I went limited contact via text for holidays only to stay safe.
what happened to the idea of getting an education in order to be a better mother?
Ad at 6:33 | 13:07 |
3:19 Lindsay hi
Good content, but way to many advertisements
What about something for emotionally toxic adult children!
👍
I don’t like the word boundaries. It makes us coaches with whistles, instead of sentient humans. When Patricia talks about the group I find that a monitoring intellectualizing false voice.
im puzzled. this lady hates people. she's like the villain in Disney movies. this lady is a bully. condescending. saying things like "Their apparent goal is to hold your attention for as long as possible. In this way, you can see the emotional immaturity of their need. It is not the adult enjoyment of reciprocal conversation, it is more like the anxiety of an emotionally neglected child who dares not to stop talking or Mommy wont pay attention at all." p. 92 ya thats exactly the problem lady. thanks for stating the obvious and literally not even addressing the issue or healing the "child". the advice is to be self aware and pay attention to the other person in the conversation even though ur needs have still not been met, which is not going to help much lol..
its like she's basically laughing at adult children who didn't get their needs met and is like oh boo hoo was mommy not paying attention to you. so weird. and describing what happened in the most rude way possible. there's got to be a better person writing on this type of stuff.
this lindsay lady is so toxic its hard to listen to, its triggering. she needs someone else to do her interviews bc clearly she herself is one of these types of people shes talking about. its like the elephant in the room.. and gives me a bad feeling
This Lindsay lady is kind and lovely. Her voice is fine.
I find it validating and not triggering. Her books have been more helpful than 45 years of counseling.