Guilty as charged. I've been trying to change, to learn (mainly from your videos, Julia) for years now (I'm 46), but man, it's hard. The struggle is real. Thank you for the caveat at the beginning of the video. ❤
Seems to work both ways. If I cannot already identify it in somebody else then I would be equally if not more immature already--or so I would think. I just take it as it flows and hope for insightful gain. Otherwise, I might just read into what you talk about what I want to hear as opposed to what you are actually saying.
Same. I also think interrupting and talking over other people, esp a partner, should be #11. Over-reacting (#1?) can be a sign of PTSD and/or CPTSD and not emotional immaturity.
My notes for later 4:46 Overreacting to everything 7:14 Being closed minded 10:27 Having a victim mentality 12:11 Being easily offended 13:15 Avoiding responsibility 18:37 Downplaying other’s achievements, jealousy The lesson I learned is that emotional immaturity comes down to not caring about how your actions make others around you feel.
Many people do not become emotionally mature because no one reacts to their ignorance, so they do not feel the need to change. Often, this is simply a privilege
It can happen with really attractive people. Extreme attractiveness can ruin a good character. Extreme intelligence, wealth, empathy etc. can also have a bad side.
My family (especially my brother) has so many of these traits. It's not my job to fix them, but to set boundaries (or in his case no contact), BUT, to really examine myself and make sure I don't repeat these behaviors on others either. I get that it's so easy to see these traits in other people and yet we sometimes do them ourselves. I want to be better than that.
@TonyaS For what it's worth, it seems (in a nutshell) that you're clearly already 'better' than that. Not only is there a very important difference between, 1. You: Having the honest self-awareness to reflect on "sometimes doing something myself", that then leads to an individual responsibility > capability of understanding the why and/or what to do with/about it. A type of empathetic introspection/recognition that besides yourself, often extents to others as well. 2: Those in question: Seemingly void of internally aimed acknowledgement or complex structures of meaning, perception, consequence etc. Limited/restricted to surface levels of basic taught ways of accepting reality within and around them. Essentially anything beyond that is incomprehensible to consider, formulate or process. It's really unfortunate, but having experienced it to such a ridiculous extent it was as if not from the same plain of reality. No matter how much I tried to explain intent or correct misunderstandings, ask for clarification, painted the whole picture, different positive approaches, avoid things, you name it. It was as if nothing ever got heard, noticed or remembered. All I got was someone stuck on playing The Negative Setting ft. Auto-instant Deflection on repeat. Never adding anything new, or any original personal input. Nor open to hearing those. -- From basically raising myself to were all my life most people I met (even strangers) complimented me for how much a conversation with me had helped them in some way, so it was something I felt proud over, something I was seemingly naturally good at and appreciated for. But it stood absolutely zero chance against how unbelievably impossible to talk to someone like that could be... Even though I sympathize for potential causes and in this case might even know what might've, but at some point it's just as simple as, this is just who they are and will never even adjust let alone somewhat change. To them you're the problem. Best for both parties to then indeed cut your losses, but claim your lessons. You've earned them.
You just need to put an emotional distance to protect yourself. They will do whatever they can to remove the wall built over time but they have built it themselves on themselves.
@@pennPi Not picking on you--- just thought it was ironic. My younger brother died last September. A couple of years ago he called me "a Trumper". He then explained that a counselor ad convinced him that his problem were a result of living with parents who lied. His final words to me the night before his final Hospice nurse visit was, "My two brothers are my heros." No--- our parents did not lie. When he lied, they called him on it. I asked him if he had ever known me to lie? No--- I am not a diehard "Trumper"; but I see a lot of projection from people that he triggers. My brother was one who learned the Art of the Deal in life--- which is bordering on deceit. But who really deceives us?
@@lesleyelalami2562 Yes--- we live in a sad world of people who prefer to feel sad. Think about the need to feel like a victim? What people fear is truth. Sad.
@@carefulcarpenter I've never been the type to focus on to problems, thankfully the minute a problem appeared I began to look for the way out and over to move it off my path..... thank God xxx.
This has been so educational and healing. One year ago this weekend I learned my mother is a vulnerable narcissist. It has been a hell of a year unpacking that and beginning to heal. This video explains a huge part of who my mom is, and it took me until nearly the age of 50 to see it. So much pain and brokenness. Thank you for your content. I'll definitely listen to more!
My mother was covert narc, I learned this at 50 too. She passed 2 weeks after I told her what she was with respect and compassion in 2023. Took a while to figure it all out 3yrs. The last year and a half, I have been able to heal very well in her absence. I’m proud to announce I am fully securely attached now. You are on the right path… don’t let her get in the way… it’s a part of their pathology ❤
There needs to be compassion. My parents suck, and I totally understand that I didn’t learn and it’s a struggle to not fell shamed or be shamed from this. When you know better, you do better.
I've met people older than 50 years old and are emotionally immature they're still acting and talking like a child and I've known people in their 20s and are very mature in their speech and act
Hi Julia. Loved your content and presentation!❤ Okay, my husband and I invited a 70 yo new friend to catch a monster fish from a new boat we’d just gotten. Thought she and her grown kids might enjoy the experience but these are folks who could never afford a charter fish trip. She texted me ‘yes’ they’d love it so we paid for a 3 day campsite near ours. Last minute, she texted she wasn’t bringing her kids but a new man she met. That was fine too 😊when she showed up she had undergone age regression. Her masked slipped and she shot us ugly hateful looks and stuck her tongue out. She became condensing, rather rude and lied about eating at the Casino bcuz they’d shared several meals in our camp. 😮(We did not expect her to prepare or share their food). Basically, she played the role of a spoiled teen girl forced to come on her parents’ vacation with her boyfriend) 😮 She DEMANDED to know me and my husband’s ages and when she realized she is 3 years older than me and 2 years older than my us and, she got horribly insulting to us. Covert NPD acting out in a maternal transference? It was so unexpected and hurtful that our family un-befriended her once back home and we went no contact 😢wonder if you might know what triggered this freak show?
I'm here to learn ways to keep myself regulated - such a good word & good state - so that I can be more than my emotional pain. More than my physical pain. I want to enjoy my journals, read books, make art & Art. I want to be joyous, grateful, content & in step with the little girl inside who was so hurt. I want to leave the illusions & be real. And kind. ❤🎉🎉🎉
This behavior also show up the exact same way with people with ADHD and autism. So we have to be very careful. Because both have a hard time regulating their emotions.
Really glad to find you. I struggle in a marriage with a difficult husband. Long term. To proceed forward I want to imagine a garden structure. Low walls. Fences. Trellises. Shapes of lay out. Height variety. Even bridges. He is stern and uncommunicative. I am enjoying the work of the 16 character types analysis. And I’m Christian so I want God’s will. My new goal is to understand where I begin and end. How to be happy in spite of the daily aggravations from others. How to thrive with an emotionally immature person and grow myself. Blessings. I love this information❣️
I noticed I can come off mature and calm, or immature and emotional, as a reflection of who I'm talking to. As if somebody else being immature or upset makes me want to back up and not put in the mental effort to maintain my own responses, because they didn't put that energy in either.
as empaths we naturally mirror others. I think that's good to a certain extent, if you're very rigid in your maturity then you can alienate others, it's good to meet people where they're at, just gotta be mindful to not cross our own boundaries of how we want the show up and not drop too low.
It's not usually about the comment, it's usually something deeper if someone becomes emotionally triggered. Usually, it stems or is rooted in the partner showing lack of consideration or respect on a larger scale.
My therapist floated the idea to me recently that perhaps I FEEL so bad when interacting with people with narcissistic traits (like my dad and the men I’ve been with) is because I’m mirroring them. As someone with high empathy it’s natural for me to do but only healthy up to a certain point. Then I just feel like I nose dive into my own immaturity. Particularly when other people project their insecurities onto us, it can be difficult to maintain grounded. At some point, it’s best to draw a hard boundary and end the interaction with some people. I keep saying that for me, dealing with certain people is like putting your hand in a fire and trying not to get burned. Good luck having no reaction. People will inspire us and challenge us greatly.
Blend the two of yourselves… The one that’s nice, sweet, kind with the no nonsense one when ppl attempt to pull you to the silly zone, kid zone 🤡 say no thank you in you behaviors and get quiet 🤐 🤫
Point number 1 isn't necessarily always the case. Sometimes other emotionally immature people (such as toxic parents) push you too react. They know the buttons that will make you freak out, or enrage you. However emotionally immature the recepiant of this treatment is, the toxic parents are the real problem. The point I am trying to make is don't blame yourself for emotional immaturity if someone is abusing you to react and blow up. Blame them, abandon them, and work on your own emotional regulation from there. It's not your fault, it's theirs.
This is true. I agree about working on own emotional regulation. In my scenario, my dad and mom are both toxic. I had to cut him off because he would drag me into arguments. He would do this by asking my opinion on something that he was talking to my mom about. I would defend my mother, and my dad would take me out of context and take my supporting my mom as disloyal to him. He would project and then go onto say I was being disloyal to my mother. It's really interesting to watch this triangulation pattern. How abusers accuse you of the thing they are doing in order to bait you is really interesting. I'm interested in human psychology so your comment piqued my interest. Now my response is to not allow myself to get in situations where I can get triangulated. Awareness, therapy, cutting off toxic relationships and medication have helped immensely 💜💜. If you or anyone else is in a similar situation. I totally understand💜. Take care of yourself🙏
Thank you so so much for all this content. I come to it often when I’m triggered by something and it helps me feel more grounded. Life changing. Content. Thank you!
truth. I keep going ????????????? whenever I hear people talk about how humans need to stop being in their mind and embrace their emotions more, when literally no one makes logical decisions, it's all always emotional 🤣
@@rongikeembrace feelings is different to embrace being emotional. Feeling is lacking in people today, it's all thinking (no matter how flawed). Feeling is what say animals go by, it's intelligent but relies more on intuition than active thought. Being emotional is a lack of intelligence, more pure reaction.
@@Dezzyyx feeling is not lacking in people these days, they just run on negative feelings like pride all the time and make their decisions from that, rather than considering their whole emotional spectrum
1) Overreacting (more than the reality of the situation) 2) Running away from talking about it 3) isn’t open to other opinions (doesn’t apprehend that ppl have different experiences in life growing up so their opinions are different) 4) no tact (no filtering of their words) 5) self-absorbed 6) sarcasm (deflecting responsibility: narcissistic trait) 7) self- annihilating (everything is our fault) 8) very defensive ( triggered their trauma or sour spot so they get defensive) 9) Very rigid in their ways (my way or the highway/ it’s black or white) 10) Downplaying your success/ puts you down/ blow it over/ ignores it/ threatened by your success
How is overreaction calculated? Where's the line? There is a trait of being highly sensitive, and this includes feeling whatever is hitting their senses at the same time the emotionally distressing interaction is going on. Like a drill piercing their skin and brain at the same time. The combination can produce a greater reaction in a sensitive person. Which is usually followed by the other person saying derisively, "Your so sensitive!"
4:18 - Freaking out over nothing. Both my parents did that all the time. I also did it for a long time but no longer. 4:52 - Tuning out. Children do this. Justin Trudeau does this. 6:45 - Robotic thinking. 7:52 - No mental filtering. Narcissist. 9:27 - Self-absorbed orators. I have just learned that my daughter-in-law has cancer but I am suffering more because I have a pimple on my chin. 11:40 - They just want to avoid unpleasantness. Blaming others for what they caused. Your son is 9 years old, so this is understandable. The most important skill of a good conversationalist is listening. B/W thinking. So true. We are both saying the same thing, but I am right and you are wrong. I love contradicting you for its own sake just to show you how smart I am. You say "Left", I will say "Right". Tomorrow you will say "Right" and I will say "Left". Either way, what I say is always correct and what you say is always incorrect. Undermining other peoples' successes is the ultimate sign of envy and jealousy. Such people can have Schadenfreude emotional "orgasms".
"Justin Trudeau does this" I think you're on the wrong channel if you're one of those JT obsessed people. Literally bringing him into any conversation when it's completely besides the point. Get a hold of your own mind please ❤
I just discovered this channel. The topic of emotional immaturity interests me., I discovered it just a month or two ago, and realized that it gives me a kind of framework, a possibility to observe and describe the behavior of others., or it could be myself, better, I like very much how you focus on using the knowledge in a positiv way, not labelling or blaming or anything like that. Someone close to me keeps behaving in a way that is troublesome and hard to understand. I do not want to just label them, I want to understand, and find out if there are ways to handle situations that may be could diminish my problems communicating with them and being with them. I
as a b&w and obsessive thinker, let me say not having a clear yes or no can be torture 😅 it certainly is a lack of mental maturity and a trauma response, and i believe im fixing it. But just know.. torture! OCD sucks ass
Thank you. Different human beings have different perspectives,views and background. I used to live in emotional immaturity. I still do,but I can hold better than then because of listening to teachings like this. Emotional immaturity borders on toxicity too
I’ve always wondered why my husband hardly ever comments on my piano playing; not necessarily a compliment, but at least an acknowledgement - his emotional immaturity is present in SO many areas of our marriage and life with daughters.
Julia, your friend cut you off and it’s so sad to hear you talk about it. You understandably recognize her lack of development and capacity to handle the trigger and that shows your developmental maturity and skills which is a great benefit to your audience and those in your outreach. It must be a joy when a good therapist helps an individual grow. I think it must be very sad and difficult when the resources get rejected.
Some of these are also signs of emotional exhaustion: tuning out due to overload, talking in a monologue as a desperate attempt to unburden oneself, uncontrolled outbursts. Context is everything.
I clicked to learn more about---me. I once went into a therapist's office (18 yrs ago) with a list of 15 faults/character flaws I believed I had. I read them off. His jaw dropped. I then presented the written list to him. He said in 30 yrs of practice it was the first time anyone had ever done that. He didn't know what to say, so he offered--nothing. Eventually I stopped seeing him (NOT saying all therapists are this sub-par. Some therapists are super. He was not among them.) I found silent meditation helped more than paying that guy (doctorate)--who wasn't equipped to handle any client who wasn't simply complaining and blaming--others, ad nauseam.
This is soul school. Everyone has different life lessons. Some are young souls. Some are old souls. This speaks to everyone being on their own path and having different coping skill sets. This doesn't make them BAD or broken.
Im here for me. I decided to change my emotional inmature ways. So far in this journey Ive learned alot but I still am working on things. So when someone pushes my buttons they do give me anxiety abd trigger me😅 later I just replay in my mind what I could have done to not react to it. Thats how I learn 😅
Signs of emotional immaturity: 1- overreactions to minor things 2-can not handle open honest authentic conversations with others 3-get very irritated by different viewpoints and think very rigid 4-says and does things without considering of impacts on others and do not develop awareness and empathy because so focused on themselves 5- They are very focused on themselves like talking so much about themselves bragging dominating conversation put themselves above others or always complaining focus on their problems and pull all the attention to themselves and disregard of others issues and problems as well and they make everything about themselves 6- they get angry or sarcastic blaming when people bring up an issue with them instead of taking responsibility with their part or when someone is taking up so much responsibility and blame himself because it is not responsible responsibility both side of spectrum 7-get very defensive in a argument and is not open to conversation and hear someone to solve a problem and not feeling threatened 8-very black and white thinker. My way or highway .I am good one and you are a bad one and inconsiderate 9-undermines or downplays other’s success and achievements and make excuses and ignore it. Recognize it is not threatening for you and be happy for that person and do not criticize or downplay it 10-
Thank you so much for your videos! What you share on topics like this is so helpful to know where to start in becoming more mature and aware. Your videos are so informative while being blended with such compassion for others and their situation. It’s really encouraging, as I feel oftentimes this sort of information is used to finger point and villainize others, rather than to understand them.
I've watched it now, and I identify with some of those signs in my past, and in some other people I have known more recently. I have made much progress in the past dozen years and am happy about that, though seeing this video made me realize that some old subtle tendencies to be self-focused still exist in me.
I become more self-focused when I'm depressed, which I have been in a big way the last year or so. My least favorite. My "victim mentality" is something I learned from my mother who is the poster child for emotional immaturity, and it's something I have to really work at consciously, as part of my subconscious programming. Thx for the vid.
What about if you have been Ghosted , spooked, gaslit ,- this is a terrifying experience if one is ALONE, old and powerless being the recipient of such treatment. Is the recipient immature? When being terrified by such actions.
@@Prophezora yes but in a way, it helps with self compassion because it’s like “well if this is what I was raised by, no wonder I have the issues I do!”
My father is a narcissist, sometimes you can talk to him, other times it is like talking with 2 year old brat😵💫 Through my life he ignorednthe huge stuff and blew up and raged over nothing. He was looking for a reason to blow up, whenever he was ready to blow up. I feel like his behavior made me stuck in a freeze mode. I have so much to learn, that lifetime might not be enough to do so. In the meantime I will be happy when I can enjoy life a bit without a struggle.
Hey Julia, thanks for all the information. The way you speak passes the idea that you have that research background, but could you link some studies or books in the "description" of your videos? I like research too, but very new to this psichology thing! Thxx!
I think I'm that friend who can't handle those feelings sometimes. Auch, that's why im here to change that in my life for a better me because I care about my feelings and I need to balance my life.
I see a lot of myself in here. Things I've become aware of and worked on and been able to halt, or reduce the frequency and duration of, episodes of acting immature.
I love the fact, that you didn't use the term narcessist. In my thinking every narc is highly emotional immature, but not everyone of them is a cluster B. After my first toxic girl in my 50ies I lost finally my own emotional immaturety for good. Since then I stayed single for a year and became then surprisenly starting dating again very attractive for women more so than before. But I can't find a woman that brings my new standard to the table. I had become that allergic, that I get the first sign of immaturity loud and clear. I live in the moment and can observe closly cuz I'm good with myself. After the first sh..it burger I be able to predict the next three to four outlandish moves and end it after a few dates, no matter the sex was great or not. I started dating women around 30/40 while me being 58. But I was that disapointed that I now date girls from 18 to 25. If I get not what a woman is supposed to be, why not a glowing girl in her prime without kids and trust issues and a far higher sex drive? I'm top fit, young girls are crazy about me and I have to take care not getting a 14 years old in South América. A woman 20 years younger than me is an old lady at my side and she can't even keep my walking pace, I won't discuss their physical sexual problems. And what is shocking to me, I find younger girls even be far more emotional mature. I asked myself how can that be? It might be their higher reality based self esteem cuz of their youth and beauty. Maybe society has become a little less neurotic and they grew up a bit healthier. Older women who are single have proven that they can't keep a relationship or can't vet and value a strong healthy man, unless they are a widdow. Why even try? In case of a girl there are the relationship girls still in the pool. I live and love now against my formal morals and believes. None of the girls dumps me, they wait for my call. I ring up the one who made me happy the most, who I could make happy the most, but most of the time they call me.There are no lies, they let me be myself, cuz they are not desperate. After my ground zero I kept only one friend. But I found a friend that is the best friend I ever had. He and his wife live in an open relationship. Both are friends and I have become part of their families. Even if the guy is good looking, he isn't that good with girls, but there is no envy. Envy, a feeling I never had in my life. It makes me so happy to see a couple being that happy. I had judged an open relationship before, but they'd never judged me with all my young girls. Their dougter 22 is married to a great guy who became a great friend as well. They even try to help me vetting the girls for a relationship or presenting me to women, cuz they know I'm a relationship guy. But over time I have changed. My standards might be high, maybe too high but the worst working against a relaionship is now: The girls give me everything and more and the threshold to put up with sh..it had become extremly low. It still makes me sad being happy. I would even love to start a family one more time being a grandpa, cuz I could. Pain is needed for change, sometimes you become even who you are, but you might not like it. But if people truly care for that person that you truly are, it is worth it.
Dear Julia hi... thank you so much for the insight. I had an inkling about a certain person, but the points you raised have confirmed that this person was emotionally immature. Thank you for helping me see things more clearly ❤
Oh my gosh, at 7:00 you described my Narc older Sister (78) who makes copious negative comments about everyone. No one meets her standard expectations!!! It is so grinding to listen to! She wears me out! She dislikes every one of my friends and picks each one apart. She IS very focused on herself! She has little empathy for others. Only in small doses can I take it.
People choose to mature .....it doesn't happen without choice and effort That's why we have so many perpetual grown adolescents Our society perpetuates immaturity smh
I'm new here, but not unfamiliar with the concept of emotional immaturity, as I've been diving into Lindsay Gibson's work. I will say though that this video was still incredibly helpful and validating, thank you! I just subscribed 😊
I clicked to discover why my adult neighbor acts like a hot head toddler after a simple request to stop doing something he brought up to me in the first place. He checked the boxes for all of your topics that represents a 40 something baby.
I have a coworker / preceptor who I’ve known for 3 months. I’ve noticed he has this “thing” where he gets upset or acts weird with certain topics. He once asked me if “I was getting better in training”. I had only trained for 3 weeks (as a student) and he was so upset. His foot was tapping so hard the palatable we were sitting in was shaking. My training is for 8 months…. Last week we were sitting down and I was asking just small talking. I asked him if there was a place I can park for free near by. We talked a bit and I asked him what got him in the profession. I asked what city he lives in in regards to drive time to work. And the more we spoke he just kept getting uncomfortable. He ended up leaving and walked away. It was so weird I ended up sending a message apologizing if I said something wrong
It happened to me too. I confided to a friend about my turmoil over killing a priest, 2 pigs and a canary and then burying them in my back yard. He made an excuse, left, and I never saw him again. So immature.
I believe the vast majority of people, including myself, are emotionally immature because most weren't taught how to be more emotionally mature. My parents, former classmates from college, strangers on the Internet, politicians, teachers, and many more demonstrated at least a few listed. I am glad to be recognizing emotional immaturity in others and in me and how I want to handle immaturity.
My mother is very immature. She's complaining about the amount of time I spend on my phone. I don't wanna talk to her because I prefer learning things from mature people on the internet.
Gosh, I came here to evaluate the people in my life but ended up seeing the signs in myself. Question: What if the person has anxiety? Is it possible to have general anxiety disorder and be emotionally mature at the same time?
😆 Hi, Julia Kristina! I can see a 9 yo doing that. I work at an elementary school. I just remembered a conversation with a student who did something that was uncomfortable for her friend. It was not going well, they were arguing. I asked her if she can imagine how would she feel if it was the opposite, and the same was done to her. She said: "Well, that wouldn't bother me." (I can't remember the rest of the day, it was not something horrible, but I often remember how that one was defending herself even that way. Some strong defenses. 😆)
I'm in somewhat of a complicated situation. I was a bad drunk for a while and damn near ruined my whole life. I stopped. I haven't drank in years. The person I needed to live with to get better (my sister) is still who I live with. I don't make much money. I DO give her rent regularly, but now that I'm clear minded, I see she needs to make changes too. Her living habits are unacceptable. She has two cats and does NOTHING to clean up after them. There's cat puke all over the house. She's disorganized. She keeps everything. She doesn't rinse dishes before setting them in the sink. It smells. I don't know how to confront someone who I basically owe my life to. What should I do?
Okay, truth time - are you here to identify potential emotional immaturity in someone else or within yourself?
both!
Guilty as charged. I've been trying to change, to learn (mainly from your videos, Julia) for years now (I'm 46), but man, it's hard. The struggle is real. Thank you for the caveat at the beginning of the video. ❤
Seems to work both ways. If I cannot already identify it in somebody else then I would be equally if not more immature already--or so I would think. I just take it as it flows and hope for insightful gain. Otherwise, I might just read into what you talk about what I want to hear as opposed to what you are actually saying.
Both
Both
I'm here because I need to check in on my own emotional maturity.
Thanks for being honest about this - that actually shows a lot of emotional maturity.
Yep, same here.
@@juliakristinamah thank you 😊
Me too 😂
Same. I also think interrupting and talking over other people, esp a partner, should be #11. Over-reacting (#1?) can be a sign of PTSD and/or CPTSD and not emotional immaturity.
My notes for later
4:46
Overreacting to everything
7:14
Being closed minded
10:27
Having a victim mentality
12:11
Being easily offended
13:15
Avoiding responsibility
18:37
Downplaying other’s achievements, jealousy
The lesson I learned is that emotional immaturity comes down to not caring about how your actions make others around you feel.
Thank you!
Thank you
Israel displays most of these traits as it genocides the Palestinians. Any criticism and they're offended. Super defensive. But they never feel shame.
Very true 💯
This used to be me until very recently thank God I developed a sense of self awareness :/
Some people never leave toddlerhood in terms of emotional development.
It’s called arrested development
Exactly! @@Clevelandsteamer324
@@Clevelandsteamer324😂😂
It's unfortunately true - they never learned any different.
My wife
Turns out I’m the emotionally immature one! I have so much to work on but I am looking forward to the growth!
Your off to a great start seeing you self reflect ❤
Remember all of us are programed from our distant past
Many people do not become emotionally mature because no one reacts to their ignorance, so they do not feel the need to change. Often, this is simply a privilege
Well usually its because everyone around them is ALSO emotionally immature. So its the norm.
It can happen with really attractive people. Extreme attractiveness can ruin a good character.
Extreme intelligence, wealth, empathy etc. can also have a bad side.
My family (especially my brother) has so many of these traits. It's not my job to fix them, but to set boundaries (or in his case no contact), BUT, to really examine myself and make sure I don't repeat these behaviors on others either. I get that it's so easy to see these traits in other people and yet we sometimes do them ourselves. I want to be better than that.
Well said!
u can only examine yourself to a certain point. self analysis does not work !!!
@@PifchoBGNot everyone has the money to see a therapist. Really, most people don’t.
@TonyaS For what it's worth, it seems (in a nutshell) that you're clearly already 'better' than that. Not only is there a very important difference between,
1. You: Having the honest self-awareness to reflect on "sometimes doing something myself", that then leads to an individual responsibility > capability of understanding the why and/or what to do with/about it. A type of empathetic introspection/recognition that besides yourself, often extents to others as well.
2: Those in question: Seemingly void of internally aimed acknowledgement or complex structures of meaning, perception, consequence etc. Limited/restricted to surface levels of basic taught ways of accepting reality within and around them. Essentially anything beyond that is incomprehensible to consider, formulate or process.
It's really unfortunate, but having experienced it to such a ridiculous extent it was as if not from the same plain of reality. No matter how much I tried to explain intent or correct misunderstandings, ask for clarification, painted the whole picture, different positive approaches, avoid things, you name it. It was as if nothing ever got heard, noticed or remembered. All I got was someone stuck on playing The Negative Setting ft. Auto-instant Deflection on repeat. Never adding anything new, or any original personal input. Nor open to hearing those. -- From basically raising myself to were all my life most people I met (even strangers) complimented me for how much a conversation with me had helped them in some way, so it was something I felt proud over, something I was seemingly naturally good at and appreciated for. But it stood absolutely zero chance against how unbelievably impossible to talk to someone like that could be... Even though I sympathize for potential causes and in this case might even know what might've, but at some point it's just as simple as, this is just who they are and will never even adjust let alone somewhat change. To them you're the problem. Best for both parties to then indeed cut your losses, but claim your lessons. You've earned them.
You just need to put an emotional distance to protect yourself. They will do whatever they can to remove the wall built over time but they have built it themselves on themselves.
We see this in others--- of course, never ourselves. 😊
@@pennPi Funny, because first you blamed it on your family when you defined it as "gaslighting". ☺
@@pennPi Not picking on you--- just thought it was ironic.
My younger brother died last September. A couple of years ago he called me "a Trumper". He then explained that a counselor ad convinced him that his problem were a result of living with parents who lied.
His final words to me the night before his final Hospice nurse visit was, "My two brothers are my heros."
No--- our parents did not lie. When he lied, they called him on it. I asked him if he had ever known me to lie?
No--- I am not a diehard "Trumper"; but I see a lot of projection from people that he triggers. My brother was one who learned the Art of the Deal in life--- which is bordering on deceit. But who really deceives us?
The emotionally mature ones are here to see it in themselves so they can learn and grow ;-)
@@juliakristinamah My reply was censored.
Censorship is a major clue.
Spiritual growth is a lifelong process.
Very true.
Truth 💯
Some don't even take the first step which is sad.
@@lesleyelalami2562 Yes--- we live in a sad world of people who prefer to feel sad.
Think about the need to feel like a victim?
What people fear is truth. Sad.
@@carefulcarpenter I've never been the type to focus on to problems, thankfully the minute a problem appeared I began to look for the way out and over to move it off my path..... thank God xxx.
This description very accurately fits a narc. A narc being someone who never matured emotionally past toddlerhood.
Apparently all narcs are emotionally immature, but not all immature people are narcissists.
I'm watching this for my own behaviour,to unlearn and relearn!
Introducing signs begins at 4:20
Thank you!!!
Give them compassionate curiosity
It’s sad that people of 45 years old can behave like that. Their inner child is in charge of their relationships.🙄
Great insights as well as a reminder to check in with myself first, before reacting, to see what is going on with me. 😊❤
Amen amen Sharon!
This has been so educational and healing. One year ago this weekend I learned my mother is a vulnerable narcissist. It has been a hell of a year unpacking that and beginning to heal. This video explains a huge part of who my mom is, and it took me until nearly the age of 50 to see it. So much pain and brokenness. Thank you for your content. I'll definitely listen to more!
My mother was covert narc, I learned this at 50 too. She passed 2 weeks after I told her what she was with respect and compassion in 2023. Took a while to figure it all out 3yrs.
The last year and a half, I have been able to heal very well in her absence.
I’m proud to announce I am fully securely attached now. You are on the right path… don’t let her get in the way… it’s a part of their pathology
❤
Here to check myself
that honesty is a sign of emotional maturity!
There needs to be compassion. My parents suck, and I totally understand that I didn’t learn and it’s a struggle to not fell shamed or be shamed from this. When you know better, you do better.
I've met people older than 50 years old and are emotionally immature they're still acting and talking like a child and I've known people in their 20s and are very mature in their speech and act
Hi Julia. Loved your content and presentation!❤ Okay, my husband and I invited a 70 yo new friend to catch a monster fish from a new boat we’d just gotten. Thought she and her grown kids might enjoy the experience but these are folks who could never afford a charter fish trip. She texted me ‘yes’ they’d love it so we paid for a 3 day campsite near ours. Last minute, she texted she wasn’t bringing her kids but a new man she met. That was fine too 😊when she showed up she had undergone age regression. Her masked slipped and she shot us ugly hateful looks and stuck her tongue out. She became condensing, rather rude and lied about eating at the Casino bcuz they’d shared several meals in our camp. 😮(We did not expect her to prepare or share their food). Basically, she played the role of a spoiled teen girl forced to come on her parents’ vacation with her boyfriend) 😮 She DEMANDED to know me and my husband’s ages and when she realized she is 3 years older than me and 2 years older than my us and, she got horribly insulting to us. Covert NPD acting out in a maternal transference? It was so unexpected and hurtful that our family un-befriended her once back home and we went no contact 😢wonder if you might know what triggered this freak show?
Shining a light on the important issues. Thank you Julia! :)
You're so welcome Shifter - glad you're here.
@@juliakristinamah Thank you! :)
What gets me is that people who are so oblivious feel deeply offened when you point it out. they usually say „I am just honest, you deal with it” 🙄
Yeah - honesty does not mean say whatever you think without any regard for anyone else.
@@juliakristinamah 💚
Or "this is who I am, accept me as I am".
This is my 52 yr old husband and I'm fed up of his behaviours! Like really fed up!
Same here ! And he s 52 too ! Was never held or taught to hold himself accountable for his behaviour. Mommy always saved his ass, still does 🙄
I'm here to learn ways to keep myself regulated - such a good word & good state - so that I can be more than my emotional pain. More than my physical pain. I want to enjoy my journals, read books, make art & Art.
I want to be joyous, grateful, content & in step with the little girl inside who was so hurt.
I want to leave the illusions & be real. And kind. ❤🎉🎉🎉
This behavior also show up the exact same way with people with ADHD and autism. So we have to be very careful. Because both have a hard time regulating their emotions.
This content is also a form of self-check to gauge my emotional maturity as well. Thank you ❤
Really glad to find you. I struggle in a marriage with a difficult husband. Long term. To proceed forward I want to imagine a garden structure. Low walls. Fences. Trellises. Shapes of lay out. Height variety. Even bridges. He is stern and uncommunicative.
I am enjoying the work of the 16 character types analysis. And I’m Christian so I want God’s will. My new goal is to understand where I begin and end. How to be happy in spite of the daily aggravations from others. How to thrive with an emotionally immature person and grow myself. Blessings. I love this information❣️
Many people that I know lack emotional maturity. Some of them are over 45 years old. Don’t know if they will ever see things differently.
I noticed I can come off mature and calm, or immature and emotional, as a reflection of who I'm talking to. As if somebody else being immature or upset makes me want to back up and not put in the mental effort to maintain my own responses, because they didn't put that energy in either.
as empaths we naturally mirror others. I think that's good to a certain extent, if you're very rigid in your maturity then you can alienate others, it's good to meet people where they're at, just gotta be mindful to not cross our own boundaries of how we want the show up and not drop too low.
It's not usually about the comment, it's usually something deeper if someone becomes emotionally triggered. Usually, it stems or is rooted in the partner showing lack of consideration or respect on a larger scale.
My therapist floated the idea to me recently that perhaps I FEEL so bad when interacting with people with narcissistic traits (like my dad and the men I’ve been with) is because I’m mirroring them. As someone with high empathy it’s natural for me to do but only healthy up to a certain point. Then I just feel like I nose dive into my own immaturity. Particularly when other people project their insecurities onto us, it can be difficult to maintain grounded. At some point, it’s best to draw a hard boundary and end the interaction with some people. I keep saying that for me, dealing with certain people is like putting your hand in a fire and trying not to get burned. Good luck having no reaction. People will inspire us and challenge us greatly.
Blend the two of yourselves…
The one that’s nice, sweet, kind with the no nonsense one when ppl attempt to pull you to the silly zone, kid zone 🤡 say no thank you in you behaviors and get quiet 🤐 🤫
Another reason for emotional immaturity is being extremely coddled and kept from the realities of the world.
My son.😂That was my mom’s doing.
right on!
My youngest son for sure
Point number 1 isn't necessarily always the case.
Sometimes other emotionally immature people (such as toxic parents) push you too react. They know the buttons that will make you freak out, or enrage you. However emotionally immature the recepiant of this treatment is, the toxic parents are the real problem.
The point I am trying to make is don't blame yourself for emotional immaturity if someone is abusing you to react and blow up. Blame them, abandon them, and work on your own emotional regulation from there. It's not your fault, it's theirs.
This is true. I agree about working on own emotional regulation. In my scenario, my dad and mom are both toxic. I had to cut him off because he would drag me into arguments. He would do this by asking my opinion on something that he was talking to my mom about. I would defend my mother, and my dad would take me out of context and take my supporting my mom as disloyal to him. He would project and then go onto say I was being disloyal to my mother. It's really interesting to watch this triangulation pattern. How abusers accuse you of the thing they are doing in order to bait you is really interesting. I'm interested in human psychology so your comment piqued my interest. Now my response is to not allow myself to get in situations where I can get triangulated. Awareness, therapy, cutting off toxic relationships and medication have helped immensely 💜💜. If you or anyone else is in a similar situation. I totally understand💜. Take care of yourself🙏
@@Books_Makeup classic triangulation. 🥺 had the same reality for 40 years, just it was my mother who played the part of your fater’s 🤣
Thank you so so much for all this content. I come to it often when I’m triggered by something and it helps me feel more grounded. Life changing. Content. Thank you!
You're so welcome Becky - glad you're here and on this journey with us.
I think i used to be way more emotionally immature. I can see my old self in some of these. And a few i could stand to work on for sure.
I'm yet to encounter a human who is emotionally mature. Considering over 95% of decisions made by humans are emotion-based ...!
I have met a few.
truth. I keep going ????????????? whenever I hear people talk about how humans need to stop being in their mind and embrace their emotions more, when literally no one makes logical decisions, it's all always emotional 🤣
Not even Vulcans, haaaaaaa!
@@rongike
@@rongikeembrace feelings is different to embrace being emotional. Feeling is lacking in people today, it's all thinking (no matter how flawed). Feeling is what say animals go by, it's intelligent but relies more on intuition than active thought. Being emotional is a lack of intelligence, more pure reaction.
@@Dezzyyx feeling is not lacking in people these days, they just run on negative feelings like pride all the time and make their decisions from that, rather than considering their whole emotional spectrum
1) Overreacting (more than the reality of the situation)
2) Running away from talking about it
3) isn’t open to other opinions (doesn’t apprehend that ppl have different experiences in life growing up so their opinions are different)
4) no tact (no filtering of their words)
5) self-absorbed
6) sarcasm (deflecting responsibility: narcissistic trait)
7) self- annihilating (everything is our fault)
8) very defensive ( triggered their trauma or sour spot so they get defensive)
9) Very rigid in their ways (my way or the highway/ it’s black or white)
10) Downplaying your success/ puts you down/ blow it over/ ignores it/ threatened by your success
Thank you
How is overreaction calculated? Where's the line? There is a trait of being highly sensitive, and this includes feeling whatever is hitting their senses at the same time the emotionally distressing interaction is going on. Like a drill piercing their skin and brain at the same time. The combination can produce a greater reaction in a sensitive person. Which is usually followed by the other person saying derisively, "Your so sensitive!"
@@hellygeeragreed. Not everyone has knowledge of HSPs.
Hi! Thanks for being here - what's something that you took away from this talk?
4:18 - Freaking out over nothing. Both my parents did that all the time. I also did it for a long time but no longer.
4:52 - Tuning out. Children do this. Justin Trudeau does this.
6:45 - Robotic thinking.
7:52 - No mental filtering. Narcissist.
9:27 - Self-absorbed orators. I have just learned that my daughter-in-law has cancer but I am suffering more because I have a pimple on my chin.
11:40 - They just want to avoid unpleasantness. Blaming others for what they caused. Your son is 9 years old, so this is understandable.
The most important skill of a good conversationalist is listening.
B/W thinking. So true.
We are both saying the same thing, but I am right and you are wrong.
I love contradicting you for its own sake just to show you how smart I am. You say "Left", I will say "Right". Tomorrow you will say "Right" and I will say "Left". Either way, what I say is always correct and what you say is always incorrect.
Undermining other peoples' successes is the ultimate sign of envy and jealousy. Such people can have Schadenfreude emotional "orgasms".
"Justin Trudeau does this" I think you're on the wrong channel if you're one of those JT obsessed people. Literally bringing him into any conversation when it's completely besides the point. Get a hold of your own mind please ❤
You are dead wrong.
@@Nick-kf3io
I just discovered this channel. The topic of emotional immaturity interests me., I discovered it just a month or two ago, and realized that it gives me a kind of framework, a possibility to observe and describe the behavior of others., or it could be myself, better,
I like very much how you focus on using the knowledge in a positiv way, not labelling or blaming or anything like that.
Someone close to me keeps behaving in a way that is troublesome and hard to understand. I do not want to just label them, I want to understand, and find out if there are ways to handle situations that may be could diminish my problems communicating with them and being with them.
I
You call it emotionally immature I call it emotionally insecure.
Yes!!.. I agree!!😢💔🙏🙏🙏
I love this phrase "brain has been molded by" experiences, perspectives and society.
I really like that this video is in black and white. It's refreshing and stylish.
Many of these traits are common on Cluster B personalities…
as a b&w and obsessive thinker, let me say not having a clear yes or no can be torture 😅 it certainly is a lack of mental maturity and a trauma response, and i believe im fixing it. But just know.. torture! OCD sucks ass
I believe most people are emotionally immature
Thank you. Different human beings have different perspectives,views and background. I used to live in emotional immaturity. I still do,but I can hold better than then because of listening to teachings like this. Emotional immaturity borders on toxicity too
It seems every social media user is emotionally immature 😆
I’ve always wondered why my husband hardly ever comments on my piano playing; not necessarily a compliment, but at least an acknowledgement - his emotional immaturity is present in SO many areas of our marriage and life with daughters.
You answered a lot of my questions. Thank you 🙏🏼
Julia, your friend cut you off and it’s so sad to hear you talk about it. You understandably recognize her lack of development and capacity to handle the trigger and that shows your developmental maturity and skills which is a great benefit to your audience and those in your outreach. It must be a joy when a good therapist helps an individual grow. I think it must be very sad and difficult when the resources get rejected.
its hard when its your mother that's emotionally immature
This was me in my last relationship. I'm discovering this at 51. It can be learned.
there are times i catch myself slipping still learning the tools
I look up from my phone after 4 minutes and realized she hadn't even began.
Exactly the same. Get to the point.
Some of these are also signs of emotional exhaustion: tuning out due to overload, talking in a monologue as a desperate attempt to unburden oneself, uncontrolled outbursts. Context is everything.
My ex was cheating on me, always looking and searching from day 1. It is not my fault, it was his fault.
I clicked to learn more about---me. I once went into a therapist's office (18 yrs ago) with a list of 15 faults/character flaws I believed I had. I read them off. His jaw dropped. I then presented the written list to him. He said in 30 yrs of practice it was the first time anyone had ever done that. He didn't know what to say, so he offered--nothing. Eventually I stopped seeing him (NOT saying all therapists are this sub-par. Some therapists are super. He was not among them.) I found silent meditation helped more than paying that guy (doctorate)--who wasn't equipped to handle any client who wasn't simply complaining and blaming--others, ad nauseam.
This is soul school. Everyone has different life lessons. Some are young souls. Some are old souls. This speaks to everyone being on their own path and having different coping skill sets. This doesn't make them BAD or broken.
Im here for me. I decided to change my emotional inmature ways.
So far in this journey Ive learned alot but I still am working on things. So when someone pushes my buttons they do give me anxiety abd trigger me😅 later I just replay in my mind what I could have done to not react to it. Thats how I learn 😅
Signs of emotional immaturity:
1- overreactions to minor things
2-can not handle open honest authentic conversations with others
3-get very irritated by different viewpoints and think very rigid
4-says and does things without considering of impacts on others and do not develop awareness and empathy because so focused on themselves
5- They are very focused on themselves like talking so much about themselves bragging dominating conversation put themselves above others or always complaining focus on their problems and pull all the attention to themselves and disregard of others issues and problems as well and they make everything about themselves
6- they get angry or sarcastic blaming when people bring up an issue with them instead of taking responsibility with their part or when someone is taking up so much responsibility and blame himself because it is not responsible responsibility both side of spectrum
7-get very defensive in a argument and is not open to conversation and hear someone to solve a problem and not feeling threatened
8-very black and white thinker. My way or highway .I am good one and you are a bad one and inconsiderate
9-undermines or downplays other’s success and achievements and make excuses and ignore it. Recognize it is not threatening for you and be happy for that person and do not criticize or downplay it
10-
Thank you so much for your videos! What you share on topics like this is so helpful to know where to start in becoming more mature and aware. Your videos are so informative while being blended with such compassion for others and their situation. It’s really encouraging, as I feel oftentimes this sort of information is used to finger point and villainize others, rather than to understand them.
I've watched it now, and I identify with some of those signs in my past, and in some other people I have known more recently. I have made much progress in the past dozen years and am happy about that, though seeing this video made me realize that some old subtle tendencies to be self-focused still exist in me.
I become more self-focused when I'm depressed, which I have been in a big way the last year or so. My least favorite.
My "victim mentality" is something I learned from my mother who is the poster child for emotional immaturity, and it's something I have to really work at consciously, as part of my subconscious programming. Thx for the vid.
I thank you, Julia, for making my journey easier with your knowledge, kindness & love. Keep it coming. We need you.
Thank you for this very helpful vidéo 😊🤗
you're so welcome. Glad you found it helpful.
What about if you have been Ghosted , spooked, gaslit ,- this is a terrifying experience if one is ALONE, old and powerless being the recipient of such treatment. Is the recipient immature? When being terrified by such actions.
I really enjoy your channel 😀! I'm a new subscriber.
Hey! Welcome - really glad you're here.
This is my mother to a T and I gotta tell you it’s so weird to discover that you are more mature than your parent
Its actually scary!!
@@Prophezora yes but in a way, it helps with self compassion because it’s like “well if this is what I was raised by, no wonder I have the issues I do!”
My father is a narcissist, sometimes you can talk to him, other times it is like talking with 2 year old brat😵💫 Through my life he ignorednthe huge stuff and blew up and raged over nothing. He was looking for a reason to blow up, whenever he was ready to blow up.
I feel like his behavior made me stuck in a freeze mode.
I have so much to learn, that lifetime might not be enough to do so.
In the meantime I will be happy when I can enjoy life a bit without a struggle.
Hey Julia, thanks for all the information. The way you speak passes the idea that you have that research background, but could you link some studies or books in the "description" of your videos? I like research too, but very new to this psichology thing! Thxx!
I think I'm that friend who can't handle those feelings sometimes. Auch, that's why im here to change that in my life for a better me because I care about my feelings and I need to balance my life.
Soo great video.. now I can understanding some reactions of my friends and family. Thanks from Brazil
The 10 points start on 04.27
I see a lot of myself in here. Things I've become aware of and worked on and been able to halt, or reduce the frequency and duration of, episodes of acting immature.
Yes yes yes you are so on point, thanks for this conversation
I love the fact, that you didn't use the term narcessist. In my thinking every narc is highly emotional immature, but not everyone of them is a cluster B. After my first toxic girl in my 50ies I lost finally my own emotional immaturety for good. Since then I stayed single for a year and became then surprisenly starting dating again very attractive for women more so than before. But I can't find a woman that brings my new standard to the table. I had become that allergic, that I get the first sign of immaturity loud and clear. I live in the moment and can observe closly cuz I'm good with myself. After the first sh..it burger I be able to predict the next three to four outlandish moves and end it after a few dates, no matter the sex was great or not.
I started dating women around 30/40 while me being 58. But I was that disapointed that I now date girls from 18 to 25. If I get not what a woman is supposed to be, why not a glowing girl in her prime without kids and trust issues and a far higher sex drive? I'm top fit, young girls are crazy about me and I have to take care not getting a 14 years old in South América. A woman 20 years younger than me is an old lady at my side and she can't even keep my walking pace, I won't discuss their physical sexual problems.
And what is shocking to me, I find younger girls even be far more emotional mature. I asked myself how can that be? It might be their higher reality based self esteem cuz of their youth and beauty. Maybe society has become a little less neurotic and they grew up a bit healthier. Older women who are single have proven that they can't keep a relationship or can't vet and value a strong healthy man, unless they are a widdow. Why even try?
In case of a girl there are the relationship girls still in the pool. I live and love now against my formal morals and believes. None of the girls dumps me, they wait for my call. I ring up the one who made me happy the most, who I could make happy the most, but most of the time they call me.There are no lies, they let me be myself, cuz they are not desperate.
After my ground zero I kept only one friend. But I found a friend that is the best friend I ever had. He and his wife live in an open relationship. Both are friends and I have become part of their families. Even if the guy is good looking, he isn't that good with girls, but there is no envy. Envy, a feeling I never had in my life. It makes me so happy to see a couple being that happy. I had judged an open relationship before, but they'd never judged me with all my young girls. Their dougter 22 is married to a great guy who became a great friend as well.
They even try to help me vetting the girls for a relationship or presenting me to women, cuz they know I'm a relationship guy. But over time I have changed. My standards might be high, maybe too high but the worst working against a relaionship is now: The girls give me everything and more and the threshold to put up with sh..it had become extremly low. It still makes me sad being happy. I would even love to start a family one more time being a grandpa, cuz I could.
Pain is needed for change, sometimes you become even who you are, but you might not like it.
But if people truly care for that person that you truly are, it is worth it.
Dear Julia hi... thank you so much for the insight. I had an inkling about a certain person, but the points you raised have confirmed that this person was emotionally immature. Thank you for helping me see things more clearly ❤
Thank you! It makes me realize what I can approve on and understand where someone else is coming from.
Oh my gosh, at 7:00 you described my Narc older Sister (78) who makes copious negative comments about everyone. No one meets her standard expectations!!! It is so grinding to listen to! She wears me out! She dislikes every one of my friends and picks each one apart. She IS very focused on herself! She has little empathy for others. Only in small doses can I take it.
Maybe she does that out of jealous as she wants you for herself?
People choose to mature .....it doesn't happen without choice and effort
That's why we have so many perpetual grown adolescents
Our society perpetuates immaturity smh
Great video!!!!!!!!!!! It hits home.
This helps me with my introspection of why they are like this with me.
Good content. Thank you. On the other hand, it’s not kind of anyone to publish their children’s personal issues for the world to see.
I'm new here, but not unfamiliar with the concept of emotional immaturity, as I've been diving into Lindsay Gibson's work. I will say though that this video was still incredibly helpful and validating, thank you! I just subscribed 😊
Holy cow. Several of these describe my mom over a certain issue we’ve been facing.
Emotional Regulation: Somatic Tools, Feeling Safe, and Self-
I clicked to discover why my adult neighbor acts like a hot head toddler after a simple request to stop doing something he brought up to me in the first place. He checked the boxes for all of your topics that represents a 40 something baby.
I have a coworker / preceptor who I’ve known for 3 months. I’ve noticed he has this “thing” where he gets upset or acts weird with certain topics. He once asked me if “I was getting better in training”. I had only trained for 3 weeks (as a student) and he was so upset. His foot was tapping so hard the palatable we were sitting in was shaking. My training is for 8 months….
Last week we were sitting down and I was asking just small talking. I asked him if there was a place I can park for free near by. We talked a bit and I asked him what got him in the profession. I asked what city he lives in in regards to drive time to work. And the more we spoke he just kept getting uncomfortable. He ended up leaving and walked away. It was so weird I ended up sending a message apologizing if I said something wrong
It happened to me too. I confided to a friend about my turmoil over killing a priest, 2 pigs and a canary and then burying them in my back yard. He made an excuse, left, and I never saw him again. So immature.
Outstandingly insightful and helpful. Thank you!
Thank you, this healed me in so many ways, blessings to you!🙏
I believe the vast majority of people, including myself, are emotionally immature because most weren't taught how to be more emotionally mature. My parents, former classmates from college, strangers on the Internet, politicians, teachers, and many more demonstrated at least a few listed. I am glad to be recognizing emotional immaturity in others and in me and how I want to handle immaturity.
Damn I am emotionally immature, now I know and can work on it
Video starts at 4:20. Thank you Julia ❤
My mother is very immature. She's complaining about the amount of time I spend on my phone. I don't wanna talk to her because I prefer learning things from mature people on the internet.
someone? my entire family
Same 😂
Checking in doc! Thanks!
Gosh, I came here to evaluate the people in my life but ended up seeing the signs in myself.
Question: What if the person has anxiety? Is it possible to have general anxiety disorder and be emotionally mature at the same time?
Of course you still can have emotional intelligence 🎉
😆 Hi, Julia Kristina! I can see a 9 yo doing that. I work at an elementary school. I just remembered a conversation with a student who did something that was uncomfortable for her friend. It was not going well, they were arguing. I asked her if she can imagine how would she feel if it was the opposite, and the same was done to her. She said: "Well, that wouldn't bother me."
(I can't remember the rest of the day, it was not something horrible, but I often remember how that one was defending herself even that way. Some strong defenses. 😆)
Someone I know ticks all of these boxes.
I'm in somewhat of a complicated situation. I was a bad drunk for a while and damn near ruined my whole life. I stopped. I haven't drank in years. The person I needed to live with to get better (my sister) is still who I live with. I don't make much money. I DO give her rent regularly, but now that I'm clear minded, I see she needs to make changes too. Her living habits are unacceptable. She has two cats and does NOTHING to clean up after them. There's cat puke all over the house. She's disorganized. She keeps everything. She doesn't rinse dishes before setting them in the sink. It smells. I don't know how to confront someone who I basically owe my life to. What should I do?
You could help her by the doing household chores.
@@Plantagenetic I already do just about all that gets done. I can't work full time and also be a housekeeper for another grown person.