“Buy a fecking wedding ring, get married, get the money, it’s not that hard!” Similar energy to “I’ve got my wedding to plan, my wife to murder, and Guilder to frame for it”
I started playing bitlife again recently, my character was depressed and I watched UA-cam with my friend, I kid you not, CallMeKevin practically filled up the happiness bar 😂😂 you are Bitlife royalty methinks
god i love how every time kevin dies he just states "I'VE DIED" like he's shocked, and every time their health has just been slowly going down at the bottom
I love seeing how much more comfortable Kevin has become in his videos. Every new video just feels authentic and so full of character, but not in a fake "youtuber" kinda way. That make sense?
This is basically an avant-garde novel: there are four generations of a single family. The first three each work only for money, abandoning their children and driving all around them to misery until one of each generation grows up to do the same. Each gets a little more brazen as the hunger for success, fed on the resentment of years, grows. They move from loafing to crime to attempted murder. The fourth, worst of all, succeeds, becoming incredibly wealthy and hollow of all that made them human. And then they're killed by a ghost. Profound.
oh sugar babies definitely earn their own money. finding reputable sugar daddies, negotiating contracts with them, acting, emotional labor… its a lot of work! and tbh most johns/sugar daddies arent really as dumb or gross as non-sex workers assume. they’re just average people lol. that being said, i get that the premise of this vid is a joke. these bitlife videos have been really funny so far 💕
0:48 I actually had croup as a baby and i still get flashes of it every now and then. Not as bad when you’re older but it’s hard to hold in such a monsterous noise when your throat is dry
"You're two! Time to move out! Gotta get independent at some point!" - My parents after they had my sister and moved me into the demon infested room in my house :^)
"I'm so angry I could just abandon my son." -Call Me Kevin, 2021 Also, Albert Wesker with a bullwhip sounds absolutely terrifying. That would cut you in half.
0:26 - I know that he is referring to the fact that he maxed out all the other stats but the way it was cut just really seemed like the bisexuality took all of the skill points form smats. Which honestly explains how I happened.
I love how whenever you take a package overseas you get arrested. I've literally NEVER had my bitlife person get in trouble for taking a package overseas 😂
Around 13:50 I forgot what the point of this video was until I read the title... he strayed away from being a sugar baby. I’m not mad though, get your coin Kevin!
Kevin: puts fertility at 100%
Also Kevin: WHY AM I HAVING SO MANY KIDS!
LIKE BRUH🤦♀️🤦♂️
"I'm pretty sure I gave some dude's baby an STD..."
That is probably the worst thing that can be taken out of context ever.
18:20
Reading this before I’ve watched the video and yea wtf 😂😭
The forgotten addiction of Kevin is back, Bitlife
Addictions are TOTALLY RADICAL
kevin has about 10 addictions, maybe more
The even more forgotten addiction is the idle breakout one
@@tazminsyeda4337 11 if you include crack
@@indi3344 yes and 12 if we include ketamine
“Buy a fecking wedding ring, get married, get the money, it’s not that hard!”
Similar energy to
“I’ve got my wedding to plan, my wife to murder, and Guilder to frame for it”
Top notch reference.
I’m swamped!
@@pattykcake well rest up you're nothing if you haven't got your health
What refrence is that from?
@@magnusgjevre5865 the Princess Bride!
Kevin relies on other people to feed him even in single player games
He’s just so lovable, they can’t help it
Ya, the thumbnail checks out
And in real life!
Kevin and I go dumpster diving every Wednesday
Omg now that you mention it I just realised too 😂😂 Rust, Project Winter
Kevin signing a prenup and then not getting a divorce when his wife cheated on him shows his smarts is at 0%
@New WRLD I don’t think you got the joke…
@@angelfire101 what is it then?
@@snifferrr when your spouse agrees to giving you the assets of the divorce is there fault and vise versa
@@makaylaali7951 can you reword that
@@makaylaali7951 come again?
“We’re gonna solely rely on other people’s money”
How inspiring 🤩
-Abraham Lincoln
@@limeboiler he was an inspiration to many😔✊
@@liahamilton8931 he had such a way with words :’(
@@liahamilton8931 so true and deep sis 😢😭
This is my second heart from Kevin so I think it’s safe to say we’re friends now...collab soon? 😳
I didn’t realise Sugar was a boy, so I was both really impressed and confused when his first GF became pregnant
i was like "i guess that high fertility paid off beyond what nature expected."
Life will find a way
Me too 😂
that happened to my lesbian sims
Kevin broke up with Among Us and is now revisiting his exes.
Because he needs the money
Among Us was lame anyway xd
@@fortnitespecialty5003
It was pretty fun actually lol esp when Kevin plays. All his content is good as frick tho
@Jebidiah Bushwell r u ok
Its sad tho, I legitimately subbed to him because of him playing among us xD
1:34
Can we just take a moment to congratulate Default on her new job as a school teacher
Hell yes.
I think Kevin would be a successful sugar baby in real life, we’ve all seen how easily and quickly he charms strangers into following him.
He'll go from Call Me Kevin, to Call Me Daddy
He already is daddy
With these qualities, he could become a successful murderer... if he isnt already🤨
he’s already basically a sugar baby in most online games. he just asks for items and help haha
@@IamaPERSON oh no, you just inspired a thousand wattpad fanfics with that!
The awkward moment when your parent walks into the room just as Kevin is shouting "PLEASE, DADDY COLON" on the tv
"God, my baby is stupid"
Kevin is an ideal mother
Like mine!
I was a stupid baby and now I'm a stupid adult. Some things never change 😔
is that what Kevin's mum said about him 🤣
*insert kevin punting a baby clip*
@@lalaider3912 Are we siblings?! 😳
“I’m 25 years old and I’ve done nothing. Can someone please give me money?” That one hit too close to home, Kevin
Legend has it, kevin is still crying over the toad end screen
Congrats on the heart
@@IamaPERSON LMFAO and congratulations about the heart
@@tazminsyeda4337 ?
@@IamaPERSON oops sorry i didnt mean to reply to someone
@@tazminsyeda4337 it's fine
0:28 little did he know that being bi just means a wider range of rejection possibilities
“I’ll guilt you into it. I’m catholic!!” Lmaoooooo
Kevin: *Meets a terrifying ghost*
Also Kevin: I n s u l t i t
New drinking game: Take a shot every time Kevin says "money" in this video.
That's a guaranteed trip to the ER.
But im muslim
@@gachakitty4324 shot of water? keeping hydrated
@@cubancharlotte water is just ew
@@cubancharlotte Water poisoning is real
kevin is literally just a siren. he could lull anyone into doing anything for him
Can’t wait for when Kevin finds out you can be a king/Queen in BitLife
only if you have iOS
Can't wait for the iOS/Android parity update so he can
And join irish mafia
@@sidhackney8831 would you happen to know when that update is happening
according to the bitlife twitter account, theyre shooting for march
I absolutely died when he said he’ll guilt trip her into marrying him when she got pregnant because he’s Catholic 😩
It amazes me how many times Kevin finds new ways to do absolutely nothing at all and still somewhat succeed.
Machine Gun Kelly doesn't live up to his name lol he kills a person with a lightsaber😂😂
"I'm 25, and i have done nothing, can someone PLEASE give me money!?" is hitting a little too close to home for my unemployed self
( ͜。 ͡ʖ ͜。)
same
The clip of him drop kicking the baby makes me laugh out loud every time
"when I'm not in control of these people, they seem to do completely fine."
Best Call Me Kevin line I've heard
What about "I'm pretty sure I just gave some dude's baby an std"?
Both are great
I started playing bitlife again recently, my character was depressed and I watched UA-cam with my friend, I kid you not, CallMeKevin practically filled up the happiness bar 😂😂 you are Bitlife royalty methinks
“Money”
“No”
“Feck off then”
Hello fellow heathers fan
All my ex-gfs be like:
arent you dead
@@retrolush3200 I’m not so lucky
"God my baby's stupid."
- Kevin, and my Father.
Ouch
I’m so glad the baby kicking clip returns every so often, it’s like a bit life video
Kevin feels like the kind of person to refer to poisoning someone as "editing their health stat"
Imagine the Chaos Mod in Bitlife. Two of Kevin’s addictions in one
We now have a clip of Kevin moaning "Oh please, daddy". Mission Accomplished, we can all go home now.
this comment still makes me laugh 2 years later
Hehehe
I want to hit like... But you're at 69 likes, so here's a comment x)
"i think bisexual would be a good idea, gotta cast a wide net" is the exact reasoning i had when i came out the closet
Yeah that sounds fair enough
mood
I laughed at this for five minutes😂🤣
@@eggs8021 any hole is a goal am i right
@@webweaver222 amen
I'm am absolutely making an audio clip of 6:53 to later use as blackmail material on Kevin should our paths ever cross
Kevin:*complains about getting sick*
Also Kevin:*refuses to get vaccinated*
“Misty Cummer” is the best thing I’ve seen on this game
Some days that "Hey there friends" just hits different, and it was needed
god i love how every time kevin dies he just states "I'VE DIED" like he's shocked, and every time their health has just been slowly going down at the bottom
“Oh he’s close to death that’s good.” -Kevin 2021
kevin: wants to be a sugar baby
also kevin: is in debt the whole life and can’t keep a stable relationship for more than 2 years
No matter what the title is of a Bitlife video, you always know that his bitlives will eventually commit many crimes.
10:14 "leave me a loan" 😂
Kevin: has a plan for bitlife
Bitlife: yeah, that's a no buddy
I’m not lying at all when I say I laughed for 5 minutes straight when he said “I think I gave some dudes baby an std”. I’m still giggling actually.
16:27 We're finally getting some lore for Extreme Griefer Jesus. He's pissed that Kevin divorced him.
I love seeing how much more comfortable Kevin has become in his videos. Every new video just feels authentic and so full of character, but not in a fake "youtuber" kinda way. That make sense?
I wish Android would update to include the sports, musician, and mafia updates for Kevin!
Same
Don't start.
he doesn't have the royal update that would be before plus pretty sure Android doesn't even have orphanages yet
@@Ilivepuppys No orphanages in android yet
Does he use a simulator on his laptop or his phone?
Love that quote
"I don't care about numbers unless there's dollar a sign in front of it"
This is basically an avant-garde novel: there are four generations of a single family. The first three each work only for money, abandoning their children and driving all around them to misery until one of each generation grows up to do the same. Each gets a little more brazen as the hunger for success, fed on the resentment of years, grows. They move from loafing to crime to attempted murder. The fourth, worst of all, succeeds, becoming incredibly wealthy and hollow of all that made them human.
And then they're killed by a ghost. Profound.
13:33
"While at the gym, you meet a guy named Guy" XD
oh sugar babies definitely earn their own money. finding reputable sugar daddies, negotiating contracts with them, acting, emotional labor… its a lot of work! and tbh most johns/sugar daddies arent really as dumb or gross as non-sex workers assume. they’re just average people lol. that being said, i get that the premise of this vid is a joke. these bitlife videos have been really funny so far 💕
No offense, but you must have something wrong in the head if you are a sugar baby or sugar daddy.
Day 5. Out here asking Kevin to play Barbie Horse Adventure: Wild Horse Rescue
YES!
Day 5 of agreeing with you
Aproved
Yes
Where can i get that? I only know the Mystery ride one!!!
0:48 I actually had croup as a baby and i still get flashes of it every now and then. Not as bad when you’re older but it’s hard to hold in such a monsterous noise when your throat is dry
Kevin : "I became a sugar baby..."
Me : "Oh no-"
Kevin : "...in Bitlife"
Me : "GODDAMMIT"
7:13 this reminded me of Draco Malfoy from the HP books. I think I am obsessed... also looking forward to more HP videos
The thumbnail looks like Kevin is being held hostage by Jim Pickens
1:29 I like how the character gets smarter but it never says he played the game he got smarter just by owning minecraft
“maybe sugar baby is a dog” my rescue pup was named sugar baby 😂 how fitting
"You're two! Time to move out! Gotta get independent at some point!" - My parents after they had my sister and moved me into the demon infested room in my house :^)
Kevin: I am considering taking at least partial responsibility for that.
Everyone: Who are you and what have you done with Kevin.?
Kevin: lets his character buy a house in Austria
Me, an Austrian Viewer: :)
That thumbnail was,,,terrifying
You don’t see people on the side of the road with signs saying Will Love for Money?
TURG HAS 2 COMMENTS YAY
@@nicholasdelpizzo1594 yes but, not in the good parts of town
@@yupyup8305 :D
Hi Turg, how are you?
"I'm 25 years old and I've done nothing" I relate so much that I laughed so I wouldn't cry.
Watch out extreme griefer Jesus is coming for you
JESUS
"I'm 25 and never had a job, please give me money."
- Every Twitch Streamer
Kevins name: *is sugar baby*
Also Kevin: *in the Minus for the first 8 Minutes*
Im glad kevin pronounced croup correctly. I had it at age 6 and now my cough is messed up. I sound like I'm dying 🤣
Day 73 of telling Kevin that he is tall, dark, and handsome 💜
(And thicccc)
Turggggg
TURG
Turg
This is a TOTALLY RADICAL comment
Hi Kevin I love your videos and there nice
"I'm bi for a wider net and all." Never opens the LGBT dating app.. big sad
You know what they say “Beggars can’t be choosers”! And then there’s Kevin
I can't be the only one waving back when he says "hey there friends"
Day 227 of asking Kevin to play the Kim Kardashian mobile game
Oh no
1:33 Mrs.Default LOL 😂😂😂😂😂
The lord himself Kevin never made me click so fast in my life
"Oh hello Daddy. May I have some money?"
That ended me 🤣
"There 3 kevins now"
"The videos will be even halirous " 😂🤣😂
"I'm so angry I could just abandon my son."
-Call Me Kevin, 2021
Also, Albert Wesker with a bullwhip sounds absolutely terrifying. That would cut you in half.
Kevin when talking about age: "I don't care about numbers"
Jail is just a room 😂
“i think i gave some dude’s baby an std” YOU WHAT
Alternative title: "I become a landlord in Bitlife and this happened". I mean, sugar baby, landlord, where's the difference?
Sugar baby's pretend to care about you lol
At least sugar babies dont kick me out and make my family homeless 💀
At least sugar babies don't make you feel bad about setting part of the house on fire, even though it was something electrical
the best way to be a sugar baby is to get rich 80-90+ person without kids, marry them and then wait until they die and get another one
Pov: you are early and there are no funny comments
Pov: You're a duck
POV you are lucky
It's backwards. Sugar baby buys older companions. Like a sugar daddy buys younger companions.
0:26 - I know that he is referring to the fact that he maxed out all the other stats but the way it was cut just really seemed like the bisexuality took all of the skill points form smats. Which honestly explains how I happened.
I’ve been re-watching all of Kevin’s BitLife videos and I’ve never laughed so hard before. I hope he makes like one a week
Thanks Kevin for taking time out of your busy schedule to punt a baby, such things often get overlooked.
3:50 “Switzerland has officially declared war on Lebanon” there is so much wrong with that
And the original addiction has returned...
I love how whenever you take a package overseas you get arrested. I've literally NEVER had my bitlife person get in trouble for taking a package overseas 😂
Guilt just having a good time ‘til Kevin possessed him, ruining his career and ending a somewhat happy life
The ai’s life expectancy: 90-100 years
The life expectancy of anyone kevin controls: 20-40 years
I think we're all just bitlife characters and Kevin is in control of me.
“For the first time in my gaming career I am willing to think about considering taking responsibility for this” What a legend
Around 13:50 I forgot what the point of this video was until I read the title... he strayed away from being a sugar baby. I’m not mad though, get your coin Kevin!
He escalate from sugar baby to black widow very quickly
18:20 best line ever
She didn't understand that the Ferris Wheel WAS the proposal ring.
So when Kevin fully commits to being horrible on purpose he fails but when he does it light-heartedly strangers want to be his friend? 🤣