How to Se Better | Extroverted Sensing
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- Опубліковано 2 лип 2024
- We are going to be looking at one facet of Se and how we can improve that - no matter what type you are.
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#LiJo #Se #ExtrovertedSensing
![What it's like to have Inferior Extraverted Sensing [INFJ and INTJ]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/p_f6gf0a0i4/mqdefault.jpg)
When looking for a good lock screen background i came across a genius quote that i think summs up what Se does: "GET SHIT DONE."
YESS
We're gonna fucking die. Get that shit done.
"Our boy Carl jung ..." hilarious!
Lol 😆 you get my my quips
Definitely tangible To-Do lists are my greatest tool in accomplishing the Se stuff! And I've gotten that down to a science...My system has a system, HAHA.
To my INTJ brothers and sisters. Dont let your ambition blind you to what really matters and to why we are doing all of this insane stuff in the first place. Its ok to be patient with ourselves. Heart and mind calm eyes clear brothers. Lets goooo ... Elon Musk on SNL this Saturday LETS GOOOOOOOOOOO
This is such a strange video for me to watch because this all feels super obvious to me, and I'm realizing that this is probably mindblowing to some people the way your Ni videos are mindblowing to me. 😆
Se goal: to eventually not have to wipe the counter multiple times because I missed a spot.... I ALWAYS miss a spot😂
I have been very gradually trying to improve the beauty of one room in my house in particular as much as possible, and it's crazy what a difference it can make to your everyday experience.
I've noticed that I really hate waiting. I'd rather walk and take twice the time than wait for a ride. It's just much more satisfying to see actually progress.
It's been really torturous moving out. Its like there's a giant wall between me and all the stuff I want to but can't do before moving out. I just want to see it happen, so I can change stuff up as I go.
I guess my point in my longer comment was -- don't beat yourself up, the Se leads have their problems, too, and I think not having a direction for life, and feeling stuck in the day to day is worse. Even if it looks glitzy or impactful!
Everyone has their issues haha! The darkness is universal, no matter where yours lies.
Yup, it’s like walking around with an anchor with you everywhere. Whatever is in front of us is our zone. What’s painful is I know that direction is important, but I can’t help but feel chained to the ground, only seeing what’s in front of me as real and exciting. It has taken me a long time and a good amount of intentional mental effort to gain any direction. For a good while, my inner compass was malleable, faint, and sometimes disorienting. It takes a good amount of focus to override this feeling of only wanting to live for the now. Yes it can be fun, but smelling the roses right under your nose doesn’t grow you a bigger, more brilliant garden that you can enjoy later!
@@sapphireluna4818 It’s great when we can see where our dominant functions don’t serve us, and make changes. You are lucky you came to this, I suspect it may take a long time for Se doms to recognize their downfalls unless they happen to have sleep higher in their stack, which typically doesn’t seem to be the case. Good for you!
Getting a little better in reality over time. Man this hits home 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻. Here I was thinking “I don’t have Se in my top 2”🤦🏻♂️🤦🏻♂️
small wheelbarrows move the mountain ... eventually!
@@InternetLiJo exactly!! 1% better everyday becomes exponential
This was helpful for me as a SCPB Jumper INTJ female. Thank you. I've been trying to figure out how I can speed up the process of doing Se better and formulate rules to make it less a of a painful experience in my growth.
I love staying in the abstract headspace, as an ENTP, so the real world is like “ugh, I guess I have to do something”.
yep! -intp
Thank you, Lindsay. I always enjoy your videos.
Thank you for this Lindsay! It really is best to just do things with what is at hand sometimes, I'm glad to hear highly capable people go through this too!
Not all Se has to be overwhelming.. playing around with things like wardrobe is pretty fun. Step One) Try out new pieces that are cheaply made to figure out textures, shapes, colours you like. Step Two) Does it work? Continue to wear in different scenarios. Does it pass all the tests of comfort, wearability, etc? Keep till you wear it out and replace with a better quality version. If not, donate or toss or keep for home. Do I pass? Wondering what Se "projects" other people have going on..
That was really honest and you’ve clearly made great strides in the quality of your videos. Thank you for sharing. I’ve got third slot Se and how it manifested positively was gaining that Ni-Se balance. I used to plan everything down to the minute to ensure the best experience for everyone. Now I’m more comfortable with the chaos and don’t have as much of a need to plan every minute detail out or do it with a sense of urgency. So on the positive side, Se has made me more chill. Despite learning to utilize it, I’m still turning to the dark side of Se when stressed and overindulging in the sensory as an escape from the chaos. It seems in order to break this habit I need to Se even better.
Thank you for these videos. I really want to improve my NI, TE and SE and your videos are helping me out. So please keep them up.
Omg! I never realised how much of Se I didn't do because I was afraid of coming off badly to other people. Thanks for this. :D
Well explained. Thanks!
Clothing style.
Definitely a gradual change that came about living with my brother who's likely Se dom/aux. That experience really tuned me in to my Se (in terms of clothing and living space) and I cringe when I see old pictures of my style-less self.
That said, I still only really care in so far I look presentable to others, or others depend on my effort.
Appreciate your videos.
Well done Linds. 1% achieved.
It's not that your videos were so bad at the beginning, but actually you progressed so fast in making high quality videos, what made the old ones look bad in comparison to the new ones.
I love your channel because it's so helpful and practical as an infj I learned a lot from your channel because you give simple and helpful advice s and explanation especially to our cognitive functions
I'm working on it even though Se is uncomfortable, thank you for this video I learned something from you.
Finally got around to watching this! Thank you! The part I really gained from this video is checking off outputs in the physical world. Thinking doesn't count, lol. I'm proud of myself because I'm currently doing some exercise/stretching. -intp
Action cures all. Thank you for the most INTJ way of explaining Se improvement 👌👌
This is so good. Thank you!!! (INFJ Ni/Ti here)
Your Se is better than mine! I love the headband too, glasses and necklace and your candles and plant in the background. It’s very Aesop vibes.
This was really helpful! Also, great job on improving your video Se 👌
I admit, my growth in some areas comes in leaps and bounds. It all depends on my Ni and how well I can comprehend something. There are times that I just wake up one and it just "clicks". I know my Ni is constantly working in the background and so, once it does its thing I gain understanding which helps me grow and improve. I just keep striving every day and learning what I can, working both consciously and unconsciously to put all the pieces together so that I can grow my understanding of life.
I am not Ni dom, but do work something like this. I will fumble around but keep going, then one day it clicks -- I get it about how to succeed in this area, then it's like I've already succeeded. The rest is just putting things in motion and I don't really need a "can do it" attitude I'm just doing it!
Nice hairstyle in this vid! Looking amazing! Great vid as always.
Thank you Wes. I dabble in the headbands every so often. Se in check!
Trying to get out of ED by using my Se, and it feels like having to coexist with someone totally different from me. Being aware of my body, its needs, touching it and feeling its changes is something i need to understand but it's really hard.
I also thought it could only work step by step, and it's good to see you're experimenting the same method.
🙌🏽. I've been deliberately working on this as well. I'm approaching 30 videos in, and the "1% better" is *exactly* what I have been focusing on. I always get so much out of your videos - thanks!!! Sandy INTJ 5w4
Going to work on implementing some of these into my routine. I have noticed I am trying to use Se/Te to makeup for the lack of Fe. Another helpful video for me.
Glad it was helpful Rich :)
Hi Lindsay, I can sense the anxiety coming from you! As an SP I can tell you that you’re doing fine with your presentation, and your past vids are not nearly as horrid as you think! I like the look of your past vids, even though I like your upgrades of your current vids, but I think there’s something charming about a newbie artist just getting a feel for their aesthetic and their equipment. I have been watching you from the beginning, and I definitely wasn’t judging the look of your videos back then!
I wonder if you are overgassing it a little bit once Se hits your consciousness hard, as everyone does when it comes to their inferior. I have noticed INJ’s seem to become quite overcritical when it comes to Se once they become very aware of its presence. A male INFJ I know is quite obsessed with having a shiny new car, presentable outfits, good hair, a trendy looking apartment, and looking very coordinated, and I sense the tension when he’s afraid he’s failing. Meanwhile, his cousin and my bf, an ESTP, drives dirty pickup trucks and only ’combs’ his hair with a few finger strokes :) His appearance is not neglected, as appearance is just the world that surrounds us, like we are submerged with it. But our appearances in any which way are pretty much casually checked on in most cases. I feel like what’s often overlooked about Se is how mellow it can be
Yes, we do care about external appearances, but at the same time Se is quite “go with the flow“ and from what I can tell not rly as perfectionistic as I see with Ni heavy types. Another INFJ I know is so caught up in these deep loops in his inner world, attaches deeper significance to basically everything external, and is almost in a trance-like state whenever you talk to him. While his observations are insightful, sometimes I just want to tell him to chill out! But then some switch will flip, and he starts trampling on everything S. He’ll point out your emotional expressions in concrete detail (i.e “your eyebrows are scrunched, are you ok?), he’ll critically analyze peoples’ dress when he is watching people from a distance, he won’t leave his house without wearing a certain pair of shoes in fear he will look like a slob otherwise, etc. His Se is ironically almost like Si on steroids!
While there’s certainly a desire for external appearance validation through Se, as that is very satisfying, Se moves with the current. I see Ni as like the architect, overseeing the entire blueprint, and then wanting to see it through to how they foresaw it, which can put a lot of pressure on Se to “do it right“. I see Se as more of the builder, putting together one block at a time, the focus being that block now, and then moving on from there. If something doesn’t work out, it can certainly be frustrating (probably our Fi or Ti talking to us), but Se kinda washes over the moment and we move on, perhaps returning later when the tide rolls in again.
It seems like you’re understanding that Se is really more of a momentary process, but you’re quite organized in your sense of achieving this. I assume this is a good thing, like Se & Ni in a synergized dance! 💃🏼
Thanks so much for that Sapphire! I think they have a charm as well, and some history that is worth keeping around. Thanks for saying that 🤗
This is really interesting. I do think that from some of the books I read in my early MBTI days, people often can use their fourth function defensively, or b/c it isn't well developed, they use it badly when they are in (say) a dysfunctional mode. So, for Ni, Se might come out in these weird ways, like your friend, when he/she is in a bad mood or stressed. For Personality Hacker, I believe, this might occur when someone jumps from Ni to Se b/c they are stressed, say. But when an Ni works towards Se through their auxiliary and teritiary, and doesn't skip, then they use it in a powerful way that doesn't even mimic the Se dom entirely, but serves the Ni goal. It would be the case for Se, too. They should continue to be builders -- block by block. When they use Ni in a stressed way, it might be when things feel futile and they get down or depressed, and think, "why did I do all this anyway, it got me nowhere." Or -- they might feel like it's all a conspiracy against them and get ticked at everyone, lol. But when Se uses Ni constructively, it comes down through auxiliary, tertiary, etc. and Se's become builders with a real end goal. They're very powerful when they learn to use their Ni to serve Se, I am always amazed when my Se friends decide to, say, take a cool trip, and all of their actions towards that trip, if they do enough planning, make it the best trip I've been on. I'm exhausted after the trip, but they're right, you have to live in the moment, and you'll have great memories too. You can sleep when you get home haha!. (The Se good trip plan will look a little Si, e.g., my friend I planned a trip with recently -- looked at every hotel for best deal, pools, proxmitity to parks, etc. and booked us a cool trip. My husband is Si and he is a great trip planner, but you have to drag him to want to go, first, then when he plans, it's similar, but based around not getting stuck without any sleep accomodations, perfect timing of airport to check in, etc. Lol.)
I can totally see what you're saying here. As an intp, I am overly concerned with the Fe part of life. It is like we know our 4th function is a weakness so we stress about it more, wanting to get it right, or it can cause the most anxiety.
My babes Simone I’m an ENT. I want to improve my extroverted sensing so I can stop bumping into things.
"...things that physically CHANGE, in REALITY..." I ACTUALLY HAD TO REWIND AND LISTEN *2X* FOR THAT TO SINK IN. And when it did, I thought "Oh FUUUUU....!!!!" Yah, I'll be implementing this. Obviously, I need it. Great video!!! I'm excited!!!
I think what you are talking about is actually Si, Se is more like "In the moment" adaptation, like Neo dodging bullets in the Matrix or an old grandma lifting up a car.
The example you gave about looking at videos is a prime example of Si usage (sensory data that happened in the past). (Just my 2 cents, I hope this helps)
I think this could be right. Most Se doms I know don't have the attention span to even create a video that would take time to develop. I'm sure when they do, it's great. Like ESFP Instagram accounts or UA-cam channels on make up or style. But overall, most Se's I know are in professions where immediate impact action works -- a sonographer, sales, 2 year degree nurses that focus more on getting the tech. degree and doing the job, hair stylists, fireman, police, etc. I think of Se as in the moment, and so what Nis often need is to relax and enjoy the moment and adapt to the moment. BUT -- Lindsay's efforts to make her videos more impactful would also make them appeal more to an Se, whatever the process is (Se or Si -- both?).
@@tnic3255 I think the key difference between Si vs Se is the timestamp of the data which helped someone to make a decision. If the timestamp happened in the past, its Si, if it happens in the present, then its Se. Think of the actors in (Jackass the movie) vs a bookkeeper (like Warren Buffett), how they make decisions based on the data they perceived. Se actions are often a bit more "Yolo" and Si actions are more "Conservative". Anyways, I could be wrong since im not a typology Guru and I still enjoyed the video! Looking forward to the next one! ~
Great video!
Having a low se is so weird ,I always felt like I am stupid in a way that I can't define it 😅 I just can't focus always having a struggle with doing any physical activity I just didn't understand the math behind it , I've always had a problem when people points things to me in the surrounding environment , i dont have sense of shapes and weights even when I gain or lose weight I dont noticed until my sisters points it out
Relatable, sometimes I struggle to start things physically and asking myself "So what is the first step of doing this?" and might ended up procrastinating. - INTJ
Totally can relate lol - INFJ
Lol yea for me "lets play chess while we figuring out the task" then completely wasted 20 minutes xD
just found out I’m ISFP. Time to work on it
Love this video, it's so funny this came up today. My ESTP friend has the opposite problem as you, and just last night I was talking to her about a dead end relationship she is in, and frustrated after many many months of discussing it, said to her -- "You will buy "THE BEST" car, table, shirt, whatever. IYou will research, inspect, and buy the best of the type with the most [sensory] impact, and I have been on so many trips with you to find the "perfect" look, but then when it comes to your life, what is the plan, the goal, where is this relationship headed and what do you want from it? I hear about the day to day disappointments, but have you considered where you see this in 5 years and if this is really the right person for you, anyway?" Why aren't you inspecting this like you inspect clothes (lol)?" As I was saying all this, I realized, I am giving her the Ni she cannot bring to the top. I know she is blast and sleep last, so Ni is definitely a demon, and I didn't think about her in those terms until I was saying this! It was such an insight for me about what Ni is, and made real what I have been studying on your channel and others. I'm Ne/Si stack myself.
Oh YES you nailed it here!! Haha great triangulation with your friend.
I'm an ESFP with sleep and blast demons and thank God for my INTP husband every day. He brings the Ni up for me like that. Haha.
@@GuidingMyHome It's funny you say that he brings up Ni since he really has Ne. I find that as an Ne person, I don't have a lot of trouble with Ni myself. My friend is frustratingly unaware at times! I am always thinking, but where is all this going?
@@tnic3255 My husband and I have discussed possible reasons why he can Ni so well. He has consume and sleep saviors, so I think it's all that Ti/Si mixed with savior Ne. He gets bored going over the same topic over and over again, but he's good at goal setting and achieving. I basically forget the future exists. 🙈
@@GuidingMyHome Wow, that's really interesting! I am similar in having Ne and Si both in my saviors, and I am similar, always have my eye on the future and how today's actions affect future outcomes. I have actually seen on Personality Hacker where they say that when Si-Ne work together well, it can look a lot like Ni, so I think you and your husband are right! Interesting about you, as well. I am absolutely fascinated by lead Se's. My older brother is the ultimate ESTP (does every sport imaginable and is go go go in the real world with a lot of friends) and I always looked up to him as well as some ESFP friends. ESFPs just always seem so mellow, accepting, and present! My best friend-like a sister is ESFP and she is the easiest going, go with the flow person. I envy it!
Thanks LiJo. I found out that I am INFP. Thought I was ENFP but INFP makes sense. Se being my blind spot. I realize why I have never been real careful about my looks/ hairstyle etc.
I'm an ISTJ. So Se is my opposing function. I am experimenting to see how my mind is going to react to Se activities.
I love your videos!
You are very calm, cool 😎 and collected.
You are very easy on the eyes...
ie: you are very pretty 🤩.
Thank you for Se video!
😊INFJ (used to be Typed INTJ???)
Thank you!
the spirit creates the world not the other way around.
lol I remember your videos where the light was so strong on you ... diffuser FTW
LiJo, i feel pretty bad. I haven’t seen you without your glasses since my comment 😪
Grate video as always ✌️
Lol that was only an experiment those two videos, it wasn’t a for sure change 😆
Hi, Tremendous video. Thanks for the pep talk and sharing your own tribulations. I am definitely going to implement this for better hair and wardrobe. But I am confused in that I love cooking, soccer, oil painting and more. Why does it work this way ? I could totally neglect my hair and wear the same outfit every day. Thanks.
My brother is an ISFP,
Sports like football, basketball, golf, etc requires some Se. Also focusing and living in the moment like partying.
Humble brag ... my videos used to suck, look at the progress... fun, but it is impressive, good job!
Can you do all functions pleasee 🥺
Great
My to do lists were allways lists of intentions not actual tasks. Only partially solved when dtched the list and went solo calendar mode, if I have to think of day, time and period it auto turns into sensory concrete stuff. I mean ocasionally I still scheadulle time to think and stuggle to keep my own plans 😅😅😅 but at least when I do the trade off is very clear, doesn’t eliminate guilt but at least is not blissful ignorance 😂
I see your point, but it can also become very difficult to not give in to perfectionism when you are working on something important. It tends to make little improvements seem insignificant. Then you could either try to improve on every little detail you are able to notice (and probably get overwhelmed as a result of it) or just become hopeless in the face of it.
What would your suggestion be to such a person, if they are not able to implement a step by step approach towards improving their Se?
I can try to answer, although I'm not an INTJ. I noticed you're already practicing awareness, so you're on the right path!
The first most basic step, in my experience, is to accept that your weak functions are weak, the same way you don't expect your left hand to be as accurate as your right (or maybe your left is stronger, I don't know). Don't be TOO hard on yourself. As long as you stress over it, you WILL overdo it, be overwhelmed, be frustrated and blame yourself or others, and then be wary of using it again until the next time you dare and overdo it. Every person has weaknesses and it's natural.
Another important idea, in my book, is to actually analyze yourself and track your habits, your highs and lows, your reactions, and figure out how you work and why (what triggers which mode or vice, how it connects to your past experiences, your future dreams, and your functions.) Find the tracking approach that suits you: reflecting in the morning or before bed, writing things down, talking to someone... whatever works. The better you know yourself, the less you surprise yourself and the more realistic your expectations of yourself would be. And then when you can predict yourself, you migh be able to control yourself better, and negotiate with yourself about the proper use of your weaker functions, more balanced to suit your needs and limits.
Oh, and never assume you're done learning. It never ends. I can't say I have it all figured out and perfect, but I feel like I'm in the right direction. It actually works from time to time!
Hope this helps!
As a high Se user, this doesn’t even feel like Se advice. It just feels like general advice.
agreed-ESTP
I actually liked the intensity of the lighting in your old videos for some odd reason, even though it did wash you out lol.
Great video! I actually catch myself writing on my to-do list things like, "figure out what to get mom for mother's day" 😅 but it does gradually gets better since I usually jot it down a month in advance so I could have enough research time to find the right gift. Thank you for the tips! I really need to Se better, overall. It's the discipline that I struggle with at times.
Haha I knew the list would hit with a few people 😆
2:52 What on earth are you talking about lady? You still look FLAWLESS in bad lighting 😍
thanks!
How to Si better:
“Just remember the fucking steps you doughnut.” -Gordon Ramsay
Lmao 😆 perfect reference
1:50 "I want you to pick an area in your life that you want to improve in...in the real world"...
5:57 "yes, more of this!"
you Se, Fi likes presents and Te remembers Mother's Day is Ne-xt
week or soonish, and Ni perceives there is meaning in my puns
LiJo.
Te-rrific content and from my Se-at by the fire with the other senate/senex
archetypes, you all look young and beautiful, si-gh.
On a more concrete feminine level, LiJo. it was not until I noticed in a picture that my hair had turned 'flat' after my son was born, that I realized I ne-eeded highlights.
I was to learn later that Ni perceives things not in the Here and now but visuals will allow
us or me and here I hesitate to box us
all in with Schroedinger's Cat and a Juliet Ferret napping now,
however,
If someone like myself is having issues with Se,
then I have found that by taking a picture, ie...of a breakfast nook (my current project)
and then looking at the picture,
then I can visualize and see a space, a 'Thing' in the Here and Now,
not the way I imagine Vincent painted it after a starry ni-ght when his grandmother the ISFJ was serving him scrambled eggs.
Also keep scissors and a box of band-aids close at hand, wink. Se never fully matures for us.
Wynstans Mom getting all of my points!! Also LOVE your approach of taking the picture and realizing a new Se for it.
woah
Whoa what?!
This whole video I was sitting here going * This really sounds like an Si dom issue... and then you gave the Mother's Day reference... "oh"
I am fairly certain I am in the bottom percentile for achieving INTJ. I have a very hard time getting out of the concptualiving phase without out a deadline.
Question. Did you become frustrated with your recording quality at any point. I often become upset with myself when painting, silversithing, ect if perfection is not achieved and I walk away from it for awhile. Again these are things without deadlines.
I don't become that frustrated because at the end of the day, the sensory isn't what actually matters. Sure it doesn't fit what I know I want it to be, but the substance, the content... well that's the juice :)
for example if i want to lose weight i need to visualize the body that i would like to have? am i right? if yes then why i don't really reflect on that and it doesn't motivate me to diet? 😅
Lol no Polina it’s not visualizing it’s working out and modifying your diet reality based changes not conceptual. It’s all a part of the fact we often have to do things we have no motivation for. But we still have to move the needle forward anyway. 🖤
@@InternetLiJo thank you🥺🤍
I mean if you're an ESxP, probably, yes, you need to start with that. Ni plans won't ever hit the road if they're not concrete enough for Se to catch them but in the end every plan starts out abstract, and an abstract plan can find concrete implementation in figuring out how to make it more concrete.
If you're an INxJ, very likely, no, you're probably suppressing concrete implementation with that kind of abstract planning. Also a risk for ISxPs and ENxJs, though more selectively.
And now put down that soda you *do* remember you wanted to cut it out, don't you?
Baby steps, 2 steps forward one foot back
Yes! No shame in the footwork game.
Ah thanks for the video, I know I've asked. Apparently I've got a good handle of SE, it's just my perfectionist mentality that creates the insecurity about not doing enough. Getting better do.
I see what you mean with the pictures, but I'm not expecting you to get a 4k60fps camera now with shure smb7 microphone and all the crazy editing, haha, it wouldn't matter. Unless you feel better, then ofc go for it.
I might be wrong, but I think the reason I'm afraid to tap into SE sometimes is because I would have to use TE more compared to when it's all pre planned? Does that make sense? Just a thought.
Not to belittle your videomaking abilities, but the old style was very appealing in its own way too. Sure, now your videos look good, as in "visually proper", but the older ones have a unique otherworldy feel to them. The excessive lighting combined with lack of background decorations and the INTJ stare gave an impression of watching an alien transmission. And given that the videos are about "studying the mind of those strange human creatures" it all combined very well. Or maybe I have a bad taste and overthink. Anyway, it may be fun for you to revisit that aesthetic with your new aquired skills.
Babysteps
Little baby Se steps :)
Lijo Peterson...
Lmao!!
Me, an INFP, not even aware 👁️👄👁️
4:30 As an ENFJ I have a personal disdain for barbers and haircuts... 3rd rank Se.
I mean upgrading sensory is expensive...............
Uhh yeah agree..
SE is the best function lol NI is very hard to do anything with-ESTP
Attention to detail has never been my forte