climbing on mount Everest and using a glider to land on a tall building in your hometown and parachuting on top of your roof, and then parkouring off the roof down to your doorstep.
@@mbtisocialclub no you are not. I remember at highschool and I wrote an essay about how everything in my minds seemed more real than what I experienced in the physical world. I'm an INTP XD
@@1chienandalou "I think therefore I am", therefore I know that I exist. As for everything else in "reality", it's just polite and easiet to assume it's real somehow.
I'm an INTP and I find it refreshing actually. I love theories but when there are too many and all of them contradict each other we need to gather actual data to see what's true. That's why high Se and Si users are so needed in the MBTI community in my opinion.
@@dearkristin I do agree with the OP. I hope this doesn’t come across wrong, but I often don’t relate much to my type that you depict the way some of the others nail it, but I’m older and an NT. However, the way you depict S-types hold my interest better than others’ and has helped me notice things about people in real life. This video was very interesting. Se is a foreign language for me but when you drew the analogy between the two and I thought of ideas, or experiences that are pulling me in because of curiosity, my motivation and actions can be very similar to how you describe your Se. Overall great work and thanks for the different perspective!
@@Ignasimp I agree, I’m an ENFP and so love love hypotheticals and theories and ideas. But there comes a point when we need to organise this information and see what is actually there (where my Si steps in from my Ne, tho 95% of the time Ne wins).
This thing has bugged me for ages: The internet: Se is barbaric. Also the internet: mindfulness and living in the moment intentionally are really important to be a happy, healthy and wise individual. Me, an ESTP: finally a source that is not based on a biased outsiders perspective on Se, but comes from someone who is actually there, living it! And all the Ns are marveled. Nicely done!
I think it is lack of diversity on seeing how these personalities actually interact. Especially as many who are online are much more likely to be introverted. Never the less, the real lesson here is that every personality type is capable in some way.
Yes so much this. I'm not an Se user at all (INFP here) but the love of my life is an ESFP like you. It hurt to see how much he had been hurt by the world not valuing his developing Se in the slightest. Naturally people are not born as wise masters of living in the moment, baby Se users have to learn by making mistakes and taking risks, and the world likes to hate on them for it. In reality I think the rest of us are jealous of the baby Se user because they are already more alive and full of joy than the rest of us can ever hope to be. So we criticise and try to control when we should be celebrating.
"I decided to pack a suitcase and move to South Korea, lived there for 2.5 years and it was the greatest decision of my life" Me, an INTJ: *spits drink* YOU WHAT?!
But, an istj will think about tomorrow, probably because of practical reasons... Infjs don't think about tomorrow they thinking bout like... Mortality itself and the fact that time isn't a real thing, they thinking way big picture.. not just the future. That's actually very Si to be thinking specifically about the next day.
Se: “I just don’t worry a lot of the time” Meanwhile, this enfj at age 7: “20 years down the line there might be a war and I want to be married within that time but if I’m married, then somebody else would have to be single and that would make them sad and I don’t want them to be lonely because I know how sad it would make me and also, everybody else is going to be sad if they have to go to war so I will volunteer so they don’t have to be sad and they can have my husband and I can just sing war songs.” **proceeds to cry as she anxiously makes survival plans for when she goes into the war that does not exist and lets another person have the man she loves**
Dam girl, I can honestly say that at seven years old I was not thinking about getting married. Like at all!.. ENTP though, The whole thing looked pretty boring and pointless to me. But these kinds of thoughts for other contexts would occur to me all the time. Including ethical dilemmas of different sorts. I can’t even imagine the concept of people crying over not having husbands now, but if this had occurred to me then, I would get caught up in the illogic of the whole thing that somebody has to cry the whole time then it would be best to distribute husbands to share so that everybody can have one most of the time right? (Also, cf don’t do a hypotheticals conversation with an ENTP if you’re easily unsettled, I mean even I didn’t know this comment would somehow end with me suggesting some sort of swinging....😆)
1chienandalou Wow, I found that Ti train of logic to solve Fe problems so fascinating! My entp friend has the same approach to those types of problems. And the teacher would totally have had to separate our seats because my brain immediately went “but then this will create conflict because both want to be loved fully but they will start to feel jealous of the other and be tempted to compare themselves negatively and they will still be lonely some of the times and the husband will feel conflicted because he wants to love them both fully but can’t or maybe he loves one more than the other but doesn’t want to hurt the other one so then she’s stuck in a love that is not true etc.” I probably would have irritated the shit out of you😂
Extraverted Sensing. Me, an INTP: Yes. Do explain this alien function. Also me: Do I want to go outside? No. Not really. I don't feel like getting lost today.
@@ceilinh6004 well I used to wander of and get lost. I was very hiperactive as a kid. And the first times that happened I would get so scared that I was lost. Then I realised finding my parents wasn't that hard and that nothing bad was really going to happen, so I started doing it on purpose to experience that sensation again.
Inside the mind of any ISTJ watching this video: "She doesn't have a list, or bullet points, or numbering system!!" *mild panic* "Just follow along like a normal person" *panic subsides* "Wait she mentioned D&D. Where are the details about the setting, character, class, hp??" *panic comes back*
@@dearkristin I bet. That blooper actually made me stop and think of how strange and difficult it must be for an Se dom to imagine having no awareness of your physical environment. It's one thing just to imagine your Se being lower than it actually is, but virtually NO Se? What does that even mean? Like Helen Keller or something?
@@TheBittenBullet no se is a bit of a' exageration. We still have it, it's just very weak. The only places that really get me into Se are nature and art, beautiful environments, or at festivals where the atmosphere is just so amazing that my own mind isn't more fun to be in, yet still it will trigger associations that suck me back into my mind.
@@dianana7371 yep and it's so weird how even then it isn't the experience itself that gets us out of our heads, it's still the feelings it ewokes, the atmosphere as you said. We might not have completely zero Se but I think it's nearly impossible for us to access that tiny bit of Se we have directly, we can only do it if we're motivated to through other functions.
@@darkacadpresenceinblood you're right, yeah I don't know. Sometimes I have these random Se moments where suddenly I am fully aware of my surrounding, it's like I'm looking through this super high advanced camera that is able to capture every single detail and it's so weird. Yes I am a human, with eyes, embedded in a whole environment full of sensory details. How amazing!
As an ISFP, the Se explains why I can spend 14 hours straight at Disneyland despite barely being able to be at a party for 2 hours. Disneyland is Se heaven.
2:25 "they will therefore, feel most happy and fulfilled when.." when they are hurtling down a rollercoaster with a 60% death rate at 80 mph or climbing the eiffel tower and bungee jumping off of it. jk I love you guys
Living in the moment actually is really important and it has helped me feel better with my life, even though I'm INFP. Just because Se isn't in one's function stack, doesn't mean one should ignore it. I wouldn't mind someone telling me to get out of my head because I am inside my head most of the time ruminating and it isn't healthy no matter your type. Actually it's like this whole new dimension in life I am just realising I never had before. I try to get out in nature and observe the flowers and birds and everything with as less thought as possible and I feel it's helped me a lot with cultivating peace.
I also have been trying to live in the moment more and I never thought of that as an Se thing. I loved reading your comment. Now a lot of introspection will proceed lol ironic
Difference between ISFP and ESFP: ESFP - Se comes out at parties (aka all the time🤩✨) ISFP - Se comes out around close friends and family. Like, "Come onnn, gimme that karaoke mic!"
1) You know you’re an Se-dom when people don’t have to speed up the video. 2) Thank you for representing us ESFPs. 🙏🏼 Although ESFPs get stereotyped as not understanding typology, this is untrue. The reason why ESFPs get into typology in the first place, as you mentioned, is because we seek to understand ourselves. The “why” behind our many experiences. That’s inferior Ni. Love this video!! ❤️ EDIT: 13:36 This makes sense why I don’t like texting. I thought it was because I wasn’t social, but it’s because it prevents me from being in the present. And then my Fi feels bad for not texting back. 😝 Glad you mentioned that!
Thank you, Aimee! Next, I need to master the art of saying things as succinctly as you do in your videos!! 😍 (I think the first step would be writing some kind of script rather than sitting in front of the camera and rambling) Thanks for your support!
@@mariejosefinacastillo9385 I actually prefer calling for long things. Just call me and get it over with! Lol! But if it’s somebody I don’t know very well, texting is better.
Exactly. Your second point is so true, because when I first discovered MBTI through 16 personalities, I got typed as INFP, but I didn’t really think anything of it. Only until I fell into an Ni grip and it was all that I cared about; I kept on over analyzing thinking what does this mean what does that mean, am I an intuitive or sensor. And I mistyped as intuitive last week because of stereotypes, but now I’m realizing I am an ESFP.
When I found out my daughter is an ESFP, I finally understood her hurricane self. I also understood that of course she's going to eat the entire jar of pickles within a day of opening it. Sensors gotta sense...
Me - an INFJ - on hearing of your daughter's pickle eating habits! "Oh no, that's going to be rough on her digestion!". This is the kind of stuff I think about. I have so much anxiousness, that I'm anxious on behalf of strangers.
I sense ALOT. Like REALLY much But now I don't have other things to sense, so I am really down. Just for the INFJ and other types that don't understand that we want to meet new people, new things, new expiriences, but without forgeting the old ones. That's basically how Se works in my ESFP little brain. And that was the most serious convertation I had in my life :D
@@dracsharp well, I would go if they were close. My Si would be happy to remember those memories and feelings attached to that place. You can always learn from your memories. I could also go find frogs and snakes, wich is always fun.
Yes, M Schib, Kristin has broken down things really well, there’s a nice lightness which makes detailed stuff accessible. Learning a new language at my age is REALLY HARD, so this is appreciated! Not overwhelmed INFP….QUESTION: functions…nature or nurture?(e.g. was I born an I.N.F.P.? )
As an ENFP D&D is such an amazing game for me. My uncle who dm’s for my party, is also an ENFP. My sister is an ESTp and my other uncle is an ENFJ and my auntie is an ESFJ, it’s an interesting mix. But me and my uncle are like ideas after ideas. But I really love it cause i can come up with all these ideas. (I used to play a hard, though now I’m a rogue), I get to live out all these stories, spend time in imagination, escapism, really cool fights and again ideas and no one complains about me coming up with ideas every 2 seconds.
I am an ENFJ DM and always attend to every player's needs. Let' say my group *really* doesn't want anyone else to be the DM hahaha XD and kudos for Kristin to "tame" her Se enough to play such an abstract game! lol
From an INTJ: thank you, it is very interesting to hear about Se form someone who has it as a dominant function, there is not enough of that on youtube and those of us who are Se-weaklings really benefit from it.
As an INFJ with an ESFP long term girlfriend, I've noticed that within our relationship our dominant Se and Ni act as the others' conscience when we do feel the fear or anxiety of our personal inferior function. It is so much easier to have support while facing fears.
I always thought INFJ and ESFP were the absolute worst couple , but maybe because my ex is INFJ and he is too introvert and reserved and even with me, ENFP, he felt drained and malinconic, not to mention with an ESFP 😂✌🏻
@@aryangelozzi1244 Well, I'm not saying our relationship is consistently sunshine and rainbows, in fact, I'd say it takes a lot of extra effort at times. Its worth it tho.
@@SockmotMC yes, as any relationship 😽 I’m happy for you, if you are happy together. But in my opinion, as I’ve seen that many INFJs that I know feel drained between extrovert people who has for example extroverted sensing , I thought that INFJ is more likely to find a person who is introvert like them and maybe intuitive 😘 However, people are not only MBTI and cognitive functions, I also know this 👍🏼
As someone with inferior Se (INFJ here) I had to pause the video every couple of minutes to internally exclaim “HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE” haha XD (just thinking about some of the things you mentioned eg impulsively moving to South Korea increased my anxiety levels 😂🙈) but really great to understand how Se works!! Thanks for the great content :D
ISFP: if I have one function I'm grateful for, it's Se. It's the only responsible and grounded function I can actually count on, and in my head it's always calm, which Fi appreciates most, especially as Se must maneuver between the rest of the functions - those unstable lunatics.
As an ESTP, I completely agree that *I DO NOT* get energy from people. I mostly enjoy people but I definitely need time AWAY from people. I am most engaged and happy interacting with my environment. Engaging with people can be fulfilling, but if I have three choices: 1) Downhill skiing alone 2) Hanging out with people 3) Downhill skiing with people 3 > 1 > 2 Activity is the most important component. Activity with people improves the activity. But people aren't as engaging/fulfilling to hang out with as activities. I *want* to be doing something
I feel exactly the same way! When engaging in those activities that give me joy, it doesn't matter if there's someone there or not!! In fact, if the person isn't going to enjoy it as much as I do then I'd much rather do it alone. This was well summarised.
Any feelings on SnoWBoArdINg? Is the skiing related to running from bears? And why isn't 1 thru 3 in the 3 1 2 order to begin with ?XD an INTJ, who always goes SnoWBoArdINg with at least one other .. for company and safety. such a nerd I am.
@@glueball214 If skiing off-piste then definitely NOT by myself, tell other people not with us, wear an avalanche transceiver and wear bright clothes. Skiing with people on the slopes isn't necessary because there are already other people there. I could change my name if you don't like running from a bear. ThrowingDucks? SplashingACougar? DroppingElephantsInCottonCandy? What do you do with glueballs?
@@runningfromabear8354 hahaha.. do you like Whistler ? I'm from New England, that deep powder was like the mfr easy button of all time. I luv your name. Glueballs hold the universe together.
As an ENFJ with really strong Fe, Ni and Se, both engaging in a deep, philosophical conversation and getting in a dance-off with strangers are equally plausible and satisfying, as long as I feel the people around me having a good time too
Ah yes having both Fe and Se would be so great! You'd be able to let loose in the same way we do but without making any of the impulsive mistakes that hurt people haha
@@dearkristin That's true, but it seems much less stressful not being aware of/trying to fix everyone else's feelings all the time :))) miscommunication and people getting hurt is inevitable anyway
ISTPs feel split because we have this continuous internal monologue, of analysts, "deep thoughts, " ideas, "I wonder." Then we have this Se side that is intensely in the moment.
Im an intp. but I would prefer to be in a conversation because i don’t like dancing, and in the conversation I wouldn’t talk much and analyse the other people
Fellow INTP...I have found that I can be perfectly charming in social interactions, as long as those interactions have a structure. Pub quiz is ideal. Structure and beer and Ti...perfect!!
@@dearkristin Seeing this last-year interaction before knowing both of you like I do now warms my INTP heart-shaped hole. And I've gotten my best MBTI learning from ESFPs (you and Aimee Y). Because truth is somewhere in the middle of all of us, if you say something and it makes sense to me, then it's more likely true than if someone with my same thought style says it. Teamwork!
ISFP here, having an ENFP roommate. I am always thriving for new experiences and new cities and could not stand spending my whole life in one city. On the contrary, he never left his hometown and does not understand why it is so important to me do so on a regular basis. Also, whenever we discuss about abstract concepts, I enjoy it for a while but soon realize that it doesn't lead anywhere and end the conversation - which he then mistakes for me being angry even though I am just seeing the inevitable and don't enjoy it draining my energy. Love to use MBTI to analyze those kinds of situations lol.
That was so interesting. There really isn't enough understanding of Se I guess because most Se Doms are too busy living in the moment to stand around and explain it! As an INFP I can get close to this sort of flow state sometimes if I have had plenty of quality alone time hiking in nature say. Then I can feel like I am sort of glowing and can really enjoy engaging and joking with people, even strangers, it's odd! I would worry that by gaining energy the other way by say partying an Se Dom might end up in a spiral and things could get out of control in a bad way?
Enfp here, living in the moment tends to be me feeling into all of the different perspectives people have in a room. I will imagine myself seeing the room from other people’s eyes & it makes me really good at energizing people & empathizing with them, but it also means I have a hard time in front of a crowd unless I’m engaging my Se passively when I’m juggling or something
My husband is ESTP and I told him that I wish we could switch for a day because I imagine his mind as a big field on a sunny day and my mind as a foggy evening (INFP).
I’m also an INFP married to an ESTP, and he frequently tells me today is what’s real, today is what we have. I agree with you Katie Larsen about what our minds look like, sometimes it would be nice to have boundless energy!
That makes sense now! My sister and mom are both ESFP and I'm ISFJ and they both drive me nuts cause they are extremely impatient and want what they want and they want it now. I lead with introverted sensing and I won't just go and do something unless it connects with what I've already learned. I never understood how they could just start talking with complete strangers and tell their life stories.
My version of living in the moment is when everyone is out of the house and I blast some music in my headphones, dance like a maniac, and get new storyline ideas for the characters I’ve created in my head. I’m an infp.
You just packed up a suitcase and moved to South Korea?! Oh lord when you said that I got anxiety and felt sorry for you XD but then I really realized that this was great for you. In my eyes you are so freaking brave... and a little bit crazy. This is so interesting, I love this video!
I dont really talk much about Ni in this video but you'll see little bits of it coming through as the two are inseparable! I'll add an "Ni video" to the list!
As an INTP i have to put a LOT of effort in order to not space out and live in teh moment,one time i calculated how my life will be in 20 years if i keep procrastinating and when i am studying i cant even calculate what is in front of me...i think i need to improve on that
@@dearkristin yes thank you as an INFJ I hate having inferior se. I literally have to remind myself to be in the moment and most of the time- I can’t. when I was playing sports I could do it, bc you have to when engaging in the real world!
As a Ne user who is always stuck in my head I find your explanation really helpful. I was wondering how some of you are able to feel so happy and carefree in the moment and why are you so passionate talking about real life experience when that type of conversations always drained me to the point I didn’t want to talk to people. Now it’s easier for me to understand how some of my friends view the world and communicate with them better:)
ISTP here, one of my favorite things I've learned about Se in my time studying Myers-Briggs was how it was absent in my worst times. The Ti-Ni loop is paralyzing. Finding my Se on a day to day basis has been essential and a great way to develop meaningful experiences. It's also something that helps me be healthily competitive, which I enjoy. Long live, healthy Se! "Do. Or do not. There is no try." - Yoda (ISTP)
I guess the thing to keep in mind is that there is no "best" function or MBTI type. Each function has its postitives and negatives, and each type has its own strengths and weaknesses. Some might naively think of Extraverted Sensing as being an irresponsible function because it only involves those things immediately present in front of us. Let me tell you, as an INTJ whose Extraverted Sensing comes last, my experience is that I sometimes have to force myself to focus on those things in the immediate present in order to be responsible, because if I do not, I will ignore those things until everything around me in the real world begins to fall apart from neglect or disuse. If I don't take a step back from my Introverted Intuition, I will get so caught up with future concepts that I will forget about such simple and obvious realities as needing to eat food, needing to take out the trash, doing laundry, checking the tire pressure on my vehicle, etc. which are not insiginificant things, especially when that thing you keep ignoring suddenly breaks when you least expect it. It is like having the ground you were standing on fall out beneath you, and because of that, I am grateful for Extraverted Sensing and those who use it well.
INTJ means Se is my inferior function, so I'm kind of fascinated by Se dominants, and kind of... scared of them, too? Though not necessarily in a bad way. They're just so unfathomable to me, in a way, though I will often wonder what it is to "live in the moment" like they do, since I'm almost completely unable to do so. As for what "living in the moment" means... well, to me, an Ni dom, it's mostly about how things come together at a given time, and enjoying that feeling of clarity and completitude. Like when I finally understand how something works, or when an unexpected chord in a song completely changes how I perceive it, or the moment when all threads come together in a book or a movie, or that one phrase someone says that touches somewhere deep within me. Or even when I'm awestruck by the terrific power of diversity in human minds when watching a brilliant and talented ESFP youtuber talk about why extroverted sensors are awesome and acknowledging it is, indeed, so. ;) Of course, some things elicit a very Se kind of response in me. Sensory stuff like feeling the wind or listening to the rain, for instance. Or some kinds of music. In some ways, that kind of controlled chaos can and will give me some respite from the constant network of connections that my mind is always trying to build all the time, and I appreciate those moments.
This is such a good description of Ni dom with Se inferior. I relate to your description of both, but those "everything is connected" moments are few and far between! Thanks for sharing 😁👌
I'm an INTP but I still really love dancing and acting. I feel like I can pretend to be someone else and it's so fun to just try to be another person sometimes.
Thanks for the insights, Kristin. As an INTJ, I sometimes get bursts of this SE experience. Thankful, after 48 years, I've gotten more experience with it and no longer act like a fool. ;)
Wow, this was very insightful! As an INTJ I find it really hard to let my Ni chill, instead I wish I could do Se better lol This video was very eye-opening to me as an Ni-dom. So, I can't help but wonder, how do you Ni? You should totally make another video about inferior Ni and its struggles, your thoughts, tips etc. because there are tons of videos about Ni at the first slot but not many (if any) at the last one. It's a completelyyyy different perspective and I'm so here to hear more about it!
damnnn I'm an ENFP and this was inspiring! Yes, of course I should be catering towards my own needs instead of getting caught up with the expectation of getting better at Si all day! I need to work on myself but stay happy at the same time!!!! time to restart my life for the 9000th time 🥴
As an ENFP I also feel this. I need to get better with my Se I’m not very good at staying in the moment. I just get so carried away with thinking about all my ideas and concepts and just trying to gather as much information about the world and people as I can.But at the same time care more about hypotheticals.
@@Meg_intheclouds Same! Fellow ENFP, and I always get so fricken excited about a future event. But when the event actually arrives in real life, I'm thinking about the next one and I totally miss experiencing the very thing I was excited to experience. So I'm trying to be more intentional about living a moment that I have been looking forward to
@@nzlioness yes! 100% agree I get more excited thinking about the event when the event itself. Tho my sister had Defo helped me be more in the moment cause she’s an EsTP and her Se Dom is super developed (tho I wish she use more of her other functions which is why I got her into mbti, she can be incredibly reckless sometimes and I think she needs to develop her Last 2 functions more especailly), and my mum is ISTJ. So I’m surrounded by sensors who defo help me stay grounded and not get too carried away lol. Also in my friendship group we have an INFJ, ESTJ, ISTP, INTP and me (ENFP). And it’s a good dynamic
@@Meg_intheclouds That does sound like a good dynamic! I wish I had more sensors in my life! My brother is one (ISFP), but I never appreciated it until after he moved to a different city 😭 there are a few ISTJs in my life and I absolutely adore them, but aside from them, I've surrounded myself with INs 😅 INTJ, INFJ, INFP and an ISTJ are my core friends. Definitely go to the ISTJ so they can tell me "no" sometimes 😂 Love them to bits!
@@nzlioness haha, ISTJ’s are awesome. Even more so when my dad and me get my mum to use more of her inferior Ne, which I think my mum naturally uses more of around my dad and also my grandad (ENTP)
I'm have Ne and my whole family having Se, also just got out of a relationship with an Se guy, so I've always felt like an odd ball and I'm starting to think I should give up on Se users, there are some conflicts between Ne and Se in the MBTi community too (you can see it in the memes haha) but that goes against my ENFP morals so here I am watching this video. Thank you, it's needed
My best friend is an ESTP, and if not for him I as an INTJ would probably never leave my house hahaha That being said, after every time we go out I need a one week recharge
Much love from your ENFP Se demon cousin! ESFPs are so underloved in this community and I hope this video teaches more people about how amazing Se users can be!!
As an INTJ, I think this is absolutely fascinating. For me, "living in the moment" (a phrase I never use, and doesn't really resonate with me) is all about ideas and concepts. Does it make sense? Is it useful? Is it interesting? Does it have sound internal logic to it? Does it help accomplish a particular goal? The fact that these things aren't interesting to everyone kinda breaks my brain. But I think that's the value of MBTI: in a word, not everyone is like you, and you know what-- that's okay.
INFJ here! I can live in the moment when my engagement with the tangible world aligns with my personal values, morality, and beliefs. Because of my SE inferior, I tend to be anxious and indecisive on how to react to a random or surprising event. However, over time, I'd learned to adapt to sudden external stimuli (like a friend calling me up to go scuba-diving in an alligator-infested river on a weekend). I just remember how scuba-diving in an alligator-infested river aligns with my dream to study freshwater ecology in college. I may be anxious in the moment of that call, but that's when I must exercise my SE function to get what I want from the tangible world. So I simply did it! The experience left me feeling calm, collected, and confident enough to experience life to the fullest. Anxiety and all! 😂
It''s really interesting how similar it is for me although I am an ISFP. The not replying to text messages is definitely true for Se secondary function. If I want to be somewhere else I simply go there. I studied abroad for half a year and wasn't anxious about it beforehand at all. I was just excited. How I decided I wanted to study in russia? A friend at university asked me if I wanted to join her, I said yes, and the decision was made. And I never have the feeling of missing anything because I am just so focused on the moment that it doesn't come to my mind to wonder about other places I could be at that moment. Ouh and I hate it when people ask me about my plans for the future. You can ask me about my plans for dinner or maybe the weekend but any further in the future usually doesn't exist for me.
That was super interesting thank you for sharing!! I personally feel that living in the moment gives me the most peace and relieves stress or worry! (Am an ESFJ, so Si secondary user) On a side note, i appreciate the simple video presentation, no busy background, no big edits with images, just you looking at the camera. That makes it so much easier for me to listen and understand!
Its really funny that you say those things energize you because for me, an INTP with se blindspot, I get exhausted by constant sensory focus and overwhelmed by a lot of stimuli. Also, I literally have been terrified of lots of hands on activities and things like dancing because I feel overstimulated and feel afraid of looking stupid. But, I am glad to hear this perspective as it makes me reconsider my judgements toward Se-users.
For me, an xnfp, living in the moment means fulfilling parts of those fantasies I've had and doing new things as well, but paying more attention to how these things make other people react and how they correspond with artworks or songs or ideas I know. So I'm always looking for connections or a storyline rather then just doing things for their own sake. I love the feeling of things coming together in a way, so I might be discovering a weird old song that fits a certain mood perfectly and then start imagining a scene in a movie or book that I would write because I feel inspired. I love dancing at a party as well, but only if the song and moment is perfectly in tune with my feelings and I'm always chasing those moments, to remember them and build my narrative around them. I push myself and others often out of the ordinary in a way, inviting chaos and loving the beauty of it and the absurdity of life that becomes visible. And I might paint something to the song I danced to or write something about an unusual conversation that touched me emotionally or just confused me. I feel like in my mind I am collaging most of the time.
I related to so much of this as an ISFP! I don’t worry much about the future, and planning for it gives me anxiety. Growing up, I would never stay in my room. I liked to work sitting on the floor in the living room where all of the commotion is. I was also always super sporty and loved to run and climb trees. I’m horrible about texting people back... I always have to apologize later! Definitely prefer phone calls or face-face interaction despite being an introvert. Every birthday I go camping or to the beach if I can. I can say I enjoy thinking intuitively, but there is a time limit. Once I feel that the subject has been beaten to death I lose interest.
5:14 the way she casually just threw in “country hopping”! Among the other normal activities for a human being is the most Se dom thing I could’ve thought up 😂😂
Here’s an example of inferior Se. when I travel I like to just stand wherever I happen to be and just take it all in. The sights, sounds, vibe, etc. The problem is I get over saturated very quickly and am unable to take any more in. It’s like a piece of bubble gum that looses its flavor within a few minutes or a computer with a small hard drive.
This was actually so educational and needed, I've never had quite an accurate grasp on Se even though it's my third function (ENFJ) so thank you! My step-sister has always been the bubbliest person on the planet and she's 100% ESFP, constantly throwing parties bringing people from all her walks of life together, she's fun and flirty and dynamic, a strong leader, and so kind! But also can you imagine an ESFP with a law degree?? That's my sister but she's actually great at her job. And she's often throwing costume parties though and inviting us to do FUN ACTIVITIES but I'm like ehhh do I have to (I love skincare and clothing and experiencing nature but not necessarily interacting with it or exerting myself haha). But oh my god lockdowns have been hell for her stuck in her apartment with the cat and the boyfriend, thank god we don't live in Melbourne.
Thanks for your comment! 😁 Your sister sounds like an ESFP for sure! Not surprised she is a lawyer, we are super capable of focusing, working hard and soaking in information, especially when we develop our 3rd and 4th functions! Don't even get me started on lockdown...
But how does that coincide with any spirituality or Christianity if you are only focused on the tangible and things of this world..? Is that putting yourself in a worldly philosophy box that Jesus warned about (Colossians 2:8) I mention it because I happened to see you wearing a Christian T shirt with a verse in one of your videos..
12:47 -- INTJ wouldn't have any expectations of you staying in touch. In fact, they'd prefer that you NOT bother them, unless you needed to share something immediately relevant that they absolutely HAD to be involved in. :)
It's interesting hearing from someone who's literally the opposite type to me. (INTJ) [edit]: Regarding "living in the moment", I find I can do that, but really when I'm on my own. It might seem strange, but I often like to go to the cinema, eat fancy meals, or go to a concert without other people (nothing beats an empty cinema all to yourself!). I find I can really lose myself in the experience without feeling self-conscious, or worrying whether or not the other people with me are enjoying themselves.
It's funny you say that you worry about other people enjoying their experience, because 1. INTJs are very aware of what they're not good at, and 2. anyone's inferior function is going to be something they're not good at. It makes total sense that you would be insecure about your inferior Se- your (in)ability to provide a good-enough external experience. (The insecurity manifests in worrying about looking good to others and making sure others are enjoying themselves.) It also makes sense that it would hinder your ability to be fully present in the moment because your child Fi is worried about your inferior Se's biggest fear of not being able to provide a good-enough experience coming true.
In 2 minutes I could tell that you are nowhere near as shallowly focused on whatever is in your immediate experience as you say you are. So there's that. Nice try though.
Wow, I'm really impressed at your skills in explaining Se. I watch a lot of MBTI youtubers, but no one has explained Se in a very comprehensible way like you do. As an INFP, I never really understood Se users and their function never really made sense to me, but after watching this video, my perception towards Se users and their functions changed. Now I get why they behave the way they do, and now I understand my Se friends in real life. Thank you for this wonderful video. The way you explain abstract ideas into something tangible in the context of real world is really impressive 👏🏽👏🏽
7:35 as an ESTP, I just realised that this is something I should actively try to implement in my life; because I do it a lot too - not focusing on long time goals and hence ruining some of my future opportunities haha Hence I agree with you when you say that mbti has helped me realise this and I'll try to work on it from now on. Usually I'd just assumed that everyone works this way xDD Thanks for the video!! Taught me a lot more things about my dominant function~
Thank you for sharing that! My daughter is SE dominant. As an INFJ, what I love about you all is that when interacting with healthy versions of you, I actually absorb your energy and then find myself being able to apply it in my own world later! This is better done in short spurts, though, since I deal with low energy and it can be draining if the SE dom. person is being super extra or controlling.
I’m an ESTP with a lot of social anxiety. I sometimes doubt my type because in a group of people I tend to be really quiet unless I can throw in a joke or something but I love doing things and having fun experiences with people, I’m just not a big talker and I don’t come across as much of an extrovert because of this but I am. Is that allowed? Lol
its okay the extrovert really doesn’t matter sometimes its the cognitive function :)) im estp w few anxieties too lol i can be very social and a bit quiet. not bcs anything, i just dont want to come off as annoying or so that’s why im not loud w someone im not too comfortable with. but i realised when doing activities or so i would literally take the spotlight and ignore all of my anxiety XD
OK now I’m convinced I’m a Se user. I love interacting with my environment and am very alert; aware of my surroundings and in tune with my senses. I also can literally just go to a beautiful location on my own and just enjoy the environment or use to practice photography - without people. Have always loved acting and performing and just engaging with others, though I do have strong Fi as well. Everything you mentioned made so much sense to me. I also moved abroad spontaneously to a country where I knew no one and didn’t speak the language; lived there for three years and met my husband! Crazy similarities. I do tend to panic about long-term decisions; will I like this in x number of years, am I making the right choice, etc but for the most part the idea of a 5 year plan is so foreign to me. Anyway, thanks for sharing!
What does "living in the moment" look like for you?
climbing on mount Everest and using a glider to land on a tall building in your hometown and parachuting on top of your roof, and then parkouring off the roof down to your doorstep.
Watching what Ive planned come to life, while also planning the next plan at the same time... 🤔
**INTJ looks around frantically**
It sounds cool
Getting stuck moving from one useless, fascinating idea to the other, while deadlines for actually important stuff loom ahead- INTP
INFP: "This real world place that you mentioned... how does one get there?"
You don't get there. You're already here
@@mbtisocialclub no you are not. I remember at highschool and I wrote an essay about how everything in my minds seemed more real than what I experienced in the physical world.
I'm an INTP XD
Pretty sure it does not exist (ENTP, Se is my veeeery last 😁)
@@Ignasimp there is no way to prove that’s not right! I mean for real and all, it’s the hard problem of consciousness. 🤓
@@1chienandalou "I think therefore I am", therefore I know that I exist. As for everything else in "reality", it's just polite and easiet to assume it's real somehow.
Maybe your ES is what makes your content so unique (in comparison to most MBTI videos on youtube that are too theoretical)
Glad to offer a different perspective 😁
I'm an INTP and I find it refreshing actually. I love theories but when there are too many and all of them contradict each other we need to gather actual data to see what's true. That's why high Se and Si users are so needed in the MBTI community in my opinion.
@@dearkristin I do agree with the OP. I hope this doesn’t come across wrong, but I often don’t relate much to my type that you depict the way some of the others nail it, but I’m older and an NT. However, the way you depict S-types hold my interest better than others’ and has helped me notice things about people in real life.
This video was very interesting. Se is a foreign language for me but when you drew the analogy between the two and I thought of ideas, or experiences that are pulling me in because of curiosity, my motivation and actions can be very similar to how you describe your Se.
Overall great work and thanks for the different perspective!
@@Ignasimp Yes, Kristin makes cognitive functions visible by showing interactions!! Very useful for us, iNtuitives, who tend to mystify things)
@@Ignasimp I agree, I’m an ENFP and so love love hypotheticals and theories and ideas. But there comes a point when we need to organise this information and see what is actually there (where my Si steps in from my Ne, tho 95% of the time Ne wins).
This thing has bugged me for ages:
The internet: Se is barbaric. Also the internet: mindfulness and living in the moment intentionally are really important to be a happy, healthy and wise individual.
Me, an ESTP: finally a source that is not based on a biased outsiders perspective on Se, but comes from someone who is actually there, living it! And all the Ns are marveled. Nicely done!
Thank you, Pauline! This is exactly what I was trying to do! Cheers :D
I think it is lack of diversity on seeing how these personalities actually interact. Especially as many who are online are much more likely to be introverted. Never the less, the real lesson here is that every personality type is capable in some way.
Yes so much this. I'm not an Se user at all (INFP here) but the love of my life is an ESFP like you. It hurt to see how much he had been hurt by the world not valuing his developing Se in the slightest. Naturally people are not born as wise masters of living in the moment, baby Se users have to learn by making mistakes and taking risks, and the world likes to hate on them for it. In reality I think the rest of us are jealous of the baby Se user because they are already more alive and full of joy than the rest of us can ever hope to be. So we criticise and try to control when we should be celebrating.
"I decided to pack a suitcase and move to South Korea, lived there for 2.5 years and it was the greatest decision of my life"
Me, an INTJ: *spits drink* YOU WHAT?!
OMG as an INFJ I would love to get my brain to not think about tomorrow :D
I agree with you as infj
But, an istj will think about tomorrow, probably because of practical reasons... Infjs don't think about tomorrow they thinking bout like... Mortality itself and the fact that time isn't a real thing, they thinking way big picture.. not just the future. That's actually very Si to be thinking specifically about the next day.
@@Raphsophomes Yeah maybe you are right. For INFJs thinking about "tomorrow" is just a placeholder for the Ni-Ti loop, which I am constantly in ;)
I can only live in the moment when a grizzly bear is chasing me.
Same lol
Se: “I just don’t worry a lot of the time”
Meanwhile, this enfj at age 7: “20 years down the line there might be a war and I want to be married within that time but if I’m married, then somebody else would have to be single and that would make them sad and I don’t want them to be lonely because I know how sad it would make me and also, everybody else is going to be sad if they have to go to war so I will volunteer so they don’t have to be sad and they can have my husband and I can just sing war songs.” **proceeds to cry as she anxiously makes survival plans for when she goes into the war that does not exist and lets another person have the man she loves**
Dam girl, I can honestly say that at seven years old I was not thinking about getting married. Like at all!.. ENTP though, The whole thing looked pretty boring and pointless to me. But these kinds of thoughts for other contexts would occur to me all the time. Including ethical dilemmas of different sorts.
I can’t even imagine the concept of people crying over not having husbands now, but if this had occurred to me then, I would get caught up in the illogic of the whole thing that somebody has to cry the whole time then it would be best to distribute husbands to share so that everybody can have one most of the time right? (Also, cf don’t do a hypotheticals conversation with an ENTP if you’re easily unsettled, I mean even I didn’t know this comment would somehow end with me suggesting some sort of swinging....😆)
1chienandalou Wow, I found that Ti train of logic to solve Fe problems so fascinating! My entp friend has the same approach to those types of problems. And the teacher would totally have had to separate our seats because my brain immediately went “but then this will create conflict because both want to be loved fully but they will start to feel jealous of the other and be tempted to compare themselves negatively and they will still be lonely some of the times and the husband will feel conflicted because he wants to love them both fully but can’t or maybe he loves one more than the other but doesn’t want to hurt the other one so then she’s stuck in a love that is not true etc.” I probably would have irritated the shit out of you😂
Im a infj and I always think like this,its annoying sometimes :(
As an istj, when I am thinking about a possible war coming, I re-read "What to do during a nuclear attack" article.
Oh damn
You explained extraverted sensing in a way that was so easy to wrap my head around
Glad to hear it!!
Extraverted Sensing.
Me, an INTP: Yes. Do explain this alien function.
Also me: Do I want to go outside? No. Not really. I don't feel like getting lost today.
Hahahahahaha
ESFP: 👽👽👽
I'm an INTP and I used to get lost in department stores on purpose for the excitement of having to find my parents.
@@Ignasimp LOL. I wasn't allowed to go on field trips without a parent until I was a teen because of my tendency to wander off and get lost.
@@ceilinh6004 well I used to wander of and get lost. I was very hiperactive as a kid. And the first times that happened I would get so scared that I was lost. Then I realised finding my parents wasn't that hard and that nothing bad was really going to happen, so I started doing it on purpose to experience that sensation again.
Inside the mind of any ISTJ watching this video: "She doesn't have a list, or bullet points, or numbering system!!" *mild panic* "Just follow along like a normal person" *panic subsides* "Wait she mentioned D&D. Where are the details about the setting, character, class, hp??" *panic comes back*
Hahahahahaha
You go out there and Se your heart out! Someone has to, and it isn't going to be me! -INTP
Hahahaha 🤣
Same
It's amazing to see your channel grow this rapidly. So deserved.
Aw, thank you!! 😁 it's been such an awesome journey
Could not agree with you more 💕
@@oliviacalabritta7276 Cute, Liv!! ❤❤❤
I like how in that one video, in the bloopers, you prepare yourself to be an INFP and your mantra is like: Zero Se, Zero Se
Haha NECESSARY
@@dearkristin I bet. That blooper actually made me stop and think of how strange and difficult it must be for an Se dom to imagine having no awareness of your physical environment. It's one thing just to imagine your Se being lower than it actually is, but virtually NO Se? What does that even mean? Like Helen Keller or something?
@@TheBittenBullet no se is a bit of a' exageration. We still have it, it's just very weak. The only places that really get me into Se are nature and art, beautiful environments, or at festivals where the atmosphere is just so amazing that my own mind isn't more fun to be in, yet still it will trigger associations that suck me back into my mind.
@@dianana7371 yep and it's so weird how even then it isn't the experience itself that gets us out of our heads, it's still the feelings it ewokes, the atmosphere as you said. We might not have completely zero Se but I think it's nearly impossible for us to access that tiny bit of Se we have directly, we can only do it if we're motivated to through other functions.
@@darkacadpresenceinblood you're right, yeah I don't know. Sometimes I have these random Se moments where suddenly I am fully aware of my surrounding, it's like I'm looking through this super high advanced camera that is able to capture every single detail and it's so weird. Yes I am a human, with eyes, embedded in a whole environment full of sensory details. How amazing!
As an ISFP, the Se explains why I can spend 14 hours straight at Disneyland despite barely being able to be at a party for 2 hours. Disneyland is Se heaven.
It really is!
Hells yeah, Disneyland is awesome. As an ISTP I relate to this.
Disneyland is cool. I like the rides, especially the California adventure park. I’m just not really into the Disney characters. 😅
IKR THEME PARKS ARE AMAZING (aside from having to wait long on the line) but yeah totally worth it.
@@dearkristin Yeeeeeeeeeees
2:25 "they will therefore, feel most happy and fulfilled when.."
when they are hurtling down a rollercoaster with a 60% death rate at 80 mph or climbing the eiffel tower and bungee jumping off of it.
jk I love you guys
Hahahahahaha claaaaaaaassic
ISFP here, I can relate
Esfp, I'm terrified of heights and would not be doing that 😂
Classic everyday routin for us
@@isiajahhhahahababblvjylvjy1034i love fighting sharks with my bare hands in my free time
Living in the moment actually is really important and it has helped me feel better with my life, even though I'm INFP. Just because Se isn't in one's function stack, doesn't mean one should ignore it. I wouldn't mind someone telling me to get out of my head because I am inside my head most of the time ruminating and it isn't healthy no matter your type. Actually it's like this whole new dimension in life I am just realising I never had before. I try to get out in nature and observe the flowers and birds and everything with as less thought as possible and I feel it's helped me a lot with cultivating peace.
I also have been trying to live in the moment more and I never thought of that as an Se thing. I loved reading your comment. Now a lot of introspection will proceed lol ironic
Difference between ISFP and ESFP:
ESFP - Se comes out at parties (aka all the time🤩✨)
ISFP - Se comes out around close friends and family. Like, "Come onnn, gimme that karaoke mic!"
agreed
So true bro
Oh my god, I love karaoke 🤣🤣 -ISFP
1) You know you’re an Se-dom when people don’t have to speed up the video.
2) Thank you for representing us ESFPs. 🙏🏼 Although ESFPs get stereotyped as not understanding typology, this is untrue.
The reason why ESFPs get into typology in the first place, as you mentioned, is because we seek to understand ourselves. The “why” behind our many experiences. That’s inferior Ni.
Love this video!! ❤️
EDIT: 13:36 This makes sense why I don’t like texting. I thought it was because I wasn’t social, but it’s because it prevents me from being in the present. And then my Fi feels bad for not texting back. 😝 Glad you mentioned that!
Thank you, Aimee! Next, I need to master the art of saying things as succinctly as you do in your videos!! 😍 (I think the first step would be writing some kind of script rather than sitting in front of the camera and rambling)
Thanks for your support!
@@dearkristin Oh trust me, I ramble. 😂 I will make a script, but then that script goes out the door. 🚪
but do u also prefer phone calls? I feel like i prefer phone calls over texting
@@mariejosefinacastillo9385 I actually prefer calling for long things. Just call me and get it over with! Lol! But if it’s somebody I don’t know very well, texting is better.
Exactly. Your second point is so true, because when I first discovered MBTI through 16 personalities, I got typed as INFP, but I didn’t really think anything of it. Only until I fell into an Ni grip and it was all that I cared about; I kept on over analyzing thinking what does this mean what does that mean, am I an intuitive or sensor. And I mistyped as intuitive last week because of stereotypes, but now I’m realizing I am an ESFP.
When I found out my daughter is an ESFP, I finally understood her hurricane self. I also understood that of course she's going to eat the entire jar of pickles within a day of opening it. Sensors gotta sense...
Hahaha ME
Me - an INFJ - on hearing of your daughter's pickle eating habits! "Oh no, that's going to be rough on her digestion!".
This is the kind of stuff I think about. I have so much anxiousness, that I'm anxious on behalf of strangers.
If I were her, the only thing stopping me from finishing the whole jar of pickles is spotting another new sensory stimulus.. like cake! :DD
I sense ALOT.
Like REALLY much
But now I don't have other things to sense, so I am really down. Just for the INFJ and other types that don't understand that we want to meet new people, new things, new expiriences, but without forgeting the old ones. That's basically how Se works in my ESFP little brain. And that was the most serious convertation I had in my life :D
What is not having SE feels like.
I live 10 minutes away from the river and an hour away from the ocean. I have never seen either.
WOW WHAT
@@dearkristin I have seen a river before :) Why see another.
@@dracsharp not all rivers are the same? I'm an INTP with an ISTP father, that means I've been to quite a lot or rivers and mountains XD
@@Ignasimp Would you go see another on your own? Would you make it a priority and expect to learn something interesting? - ENTP
@@dracsharp well, I would go if they were close. My Si would be happy to remember those memories and feelings attached to that place. You can always learn from your memories. I could also go find frogs and snakes, wich is always fun.
I’d love to see a video of you breaking down each of the cognitive functions. You explained it so well!
Thank you!
Yes, M Schib, Kristin has broken down things really well, there’s a nice lightness which makes detailed stuff accessible. Learning a new language at my age is REALLY HARD, so this is appreciated! Not overwhelmed INFP….QUESTION: functions…nature or nurture?(e.g. was I born an I.N.F.P.? )
And she even plays D&D! Amazing
I never played D&D but I want too so bad TwT
As an ENFP D&D is such an amazing game for me. My uncle who dm’s for my party, is also an ENFP. My sister is an ESTp and my other uncle is an ENFJ and my auntie is an ESFJ, it’s an interesting mix. But me and my uncle are like ideas after ideas. But I really love it cause i can come up with all these ideas. (I used to play a hard, though now I’m a rogue), I get to live out all these stories, spend time in imagination, escapism, really cool fights and again ideas and no one complains about me coming up with ideas every 2 seconds.
I am an ENFJ DM and always attend to every player's needs. Let' say my group *really* doesn't want anyone else to be the DM hahaha XD and kudos for Kristin to "tame" her Se enough to play such an abstract game! lol
From an INTJ: thank you, it is very interesting to hear about Se form someone who has it as a dominant function, there is not enough of that on youtube and those of us who are Se-weaklings really benefit from it.
As an INFJ with an ESFP long term girlfriend, I've noticed that within our relationship our dominant Se and Ni act as the others' conscience when we do feel the fear or anxiety of our personal inferior function. It is so much easier to have support while facing fears.
That sounds awesome! Glad you guys have each other 😁
I always thought INFJ and ESFP were the absolute worst couple , but maybe because my ex is INFJ and he is too introvert and reserved and even with me, ENFP, he felt drained and malinconic, not to mention with an ESFP 😂✌🏻
@@aryangelozzi1244 Well, I'm not saying our relationship is consistently sunshine and rainbows, in fact, I'd say it takes a lot of extra effort at times. Its worth it tho.
@@SockmotMC yes, as any relationship 😽 I’m happy for you, if you are happy together.
But in my opinion, as I’ve seen that many INFJs that I know feel drained between extrovert people who has for example extroverted sensing , I thought that INFJ is more likely to find a person who is introvert like them and maybe intuitive 😘 However, people are not only MBTI and cognitive functions, I also know this 👍🏼
@@aryangelozzi1244 I think it also depends a lot on the enneagram,if someone is infj but 3 or 1 ennneagram,the person can be very energetic
As someone with inferior Se (INFJ here) I had to pause the video every couple of minutes to internally exclaim “HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE” haha XD (just thinking about some of the things you mentioned eg impulsively moving to South Korea increased my anxiety levels 😂🙈) but really great to understand how Se works!! Thanks for the great content :D
ISFP: if I have one function I'm grateful for, it's Se. It's the only responsible and grounded function I can actually count on, and in my head it's always calm, which Fi appreciates most, especially as Se must maneuver between the rest of the functions - those unstable lunatics.
Hahaha 👏
“I just picked up my things and went into a country I knew no one” % X ERROR X % *HAS SPASM IN ESTJ*
As an ESTP, I completely agree that *I DO NOT* get energy from people. I mostly enjoy people but I definitely need time AWAY from people. I am most engaged and happy interacting with my environment. Engaging with people can be fulfilling, but if I have three choices:
1) Downhill skiing alone
2) Hanging out with people
3) Downhill skiing with people
3 > 1 > 2
Activity is the most important component. Activity with people improves the activity. But people aren't as engaging/fulfilling to hang out with as activities. I *want* to be doing something
I feel exactly the same way! When engaging in those activities that give me joy, it doesn't matter if there's someone there or not!! In fact, if the person isn't going to enjoy it as much as I do then I'd much rather do it alone. This was well summarised.
This is the best summary of SE priorities!!! Totally agree xx
Any feelings on SnoWBoArdINg? Is the skiing related to running from bears? And why isn't 1 thru 3 in the 3 1 2 order to begin with ?XD an INTJ, who always goes SnoWBoArdINg with at least one other .. for company and safety. such a nerd I am.
@@glueball214 If skiing off-piste then definitely NOT by myself, tell other people not with us, wear an avalanche transceiver and wear bright clothes. Skiing with people on the slopes isn't necessary because there are already other people there.
I could change my name if you don't like running from a bear. ThrowingDucks? SplashingACougar? DroppingElephantsInCottonCandy? What do you do with glueballs?
@@runningfromabear8354 hahaha.. do you like Whistler ? I'm from New England, that deep powder was like the mfr easy button of all time. I luv your name. Glueballs hold the universe together.
As an ENFJ with really strong Fe, Ni and Se, both engaging in a deep, philosophical conversation and getting in a dance-off with strangers are equally plausible and satisfying, as long as I feel the people around me having a good time too
Ah yes having both Fe and Se would be so great! You'd be able to let loose in the same way we do but without making any of the impulsive mistakes that hurt people haha
@@dearkristin That's true, but it seems much less stressful not being aware of/trying to fix everyone else's feelings all the time :))) miscommunication and people getting hurt is inevitable anyway
As an ENFJ, SAME
As an INFJ with inferior Se, I think I can learn a LOT from ESTP and ESFPs. I think I need a Se dom mentor. :)
Sammmme
As an ENTP... I’m like Se-what? Never heard of it!...
(Turn stuff into ideas or experiences that caught my curiosity though, then I can relate...)
ISTPs feel split because we have this continuous internal monologue, of analysts, "deep thoughts, " ideas, "I wonder."
Then we have this Se side that is intensely in the moment.
Couldn't agree more! 👏
Im an intp.
but I would prefer to be in a conversation because i don’t like dancing, and in the conversation I wouldn’t talk much and analyse the other people
Fellow INTP...I have found that I can be perfectly charming in social interactions, as long as those interactions have a structure. Pub quiz is ideal. Structure and beer and Ti...perfect!!
As an isfp I would rather dance instead of having a conversation cause I'm awkward af
My version of living in the moment: contemplating about humanity, the world and the depth of the human soul. You know, INFJ stuff.
For someone to whom discussing abstract concepts you’re certainly good at explaining and demystify the very abstract concept of cognitive functions.
Why thank you! Maybe it's because my Fi heart is invested.
@@dearkristin Seeing this last-year interaction before knowing both of you like I do now warms my INTP heart-shaped hole.
And I've gotten my best MBTI learning from ESFPs (you and Aimee Y). Because truth is somewhere in the middle of all of us, if you say something and it makes sense to me, then it's more likely true than if someone with my same thought style says it. Teamwork!
You don't worry?!?!?! That's a super power! I would LOVE to not worry. Just once. I'm worried about appointments I haven't even made yet!!!
ISFP here, having an ENFP roommate. I am always thriving for new experiences and new cities and could not stand spending my whole life in one city. On the contrary, he never left his hometown and does not understand why it is so important to me do so on a regular basis. Also, whenever we discuss about abstract concepts, I enjoy it for a while but soon realize that it doesn't lead anywhere and end the conversation - which he then mistakes for me being angry even though I am just seeing the inevitable and don't enjoy it draining my energy. Love to use MBTI to analyze those kinds of situations lol.
That was so interesting. There really isn't enough understanding of Se I guess because most Se Doms are too busy living in the moment to stand around and explain it! As an INFP I can get close to this sort of flow state sometimes if I have had plenty of quality alone time hiking in nature say. Then I can feel like I am sort of glowing and can really enjoy engaging and joking with people, even strangers, it's odd! I would worry that by gaining energy the other way by say partying an Se Dom might end up in a spiral and things could get out of control in a bad way?
Your explanation of types helps me so much with writing characters that are different than me (INFJ writing a ISTP protagonist). Thank you 😄
I'm so happy that I could help! 😎
Enfp here, living in the moment tends to be me feeling into all of the different perspectives people have in a room. I will imagine myself seeing the room from other people’s eyes & it makes me really good at energizing people & empathizing with them, but it also means I have a hard time in front of a crowd unless I’m engaging my Se passively when I’m juggling or something
My husband is ESTP and I told him that I wish we could switch for a day because I imagine his mind as a big field on a sunny day and my mind as a foggy evening (INFP).
I’m also an INFP married to an ESTP, and he frequently tells me today is what’s real, today is what we have. I agree with you Katie Larsen about what our minds look like, sometimes it would be nice to have boundless energy!
That makes sense now! My sister and mom are both ESFP and I'm ISFJ and they both drive me nuts cause they are extremely impatient and want what they want and they want it now. I lead with introverted sensing and I won't just go and do something unless it connects with what I've already learned. I never understood how they could just start talking with complete strangers and tell their life stories.
My INFP self is a bit confused by this strange concept of living “In the real world.” XD Interesting to hear your perspective!
Yep, when you can experience dozens of different lives and scenarios in your head, it’s kinda hard to switch to only one timeline irl xD
My version of living in the moment is when everyone is out of the house and I blast some music in my headphones, dance like a maniac, and get new storyline ideas for the characters I’ve created in my head. I’m an infp.
You just packed up a suitcase and moved to South Korea?! Oh lord when you said that I got anxiety and felt sorry for you XD but then I really realized that this was great for you. In my eyes you are so freaking brave... and a little bit crazy. This is so interesting, I love this video!
Being a Ni dom i really wanted your point of view on extraverted sensing... Plus what's it's like to have Ni at last position 🤔
I dont really talk much about Ni in this video but you'll see little bits of it coming through as the two are inseparable! I'll add an "Ni video" to the list!
@@dearkristin that would be very helpful because I have a esfp friend ❤️
As an INTP i have to put a LOT of effort in order to not space out and live in teh moment,one time i calculated how my life will be in 20 years if i keep procrastinating and when i am studying i cant even calculate what is in front of me...i think i need to improve on that
The most insightful ESFP on the Internet by far!!
Thank you, Joseph!
I never see ESFP people talk about mbti. Great to here things from another perspectief
As an INFJ who's trying to work on Se I really appreciate this video!
I'm glad! Thank you!
@@dearkristin yes thank you as an
INFJ I hate having inferior se. I literally have to remind myself to be in the moment and most of the time- I can’t. when I was playing sports I could do it, bc you have to when engaging in the real world!
As a Ne user who is always stuck in my head I find your explanation really helpful. I was wondering how some of you are able to feel so happy and carefree in the moment and why are you so passionate talking about real life experience when that type of conversations always drained me to the point I didn’t want to talk to people. Now it’s easier for me to understand how some of my friends view the world and communicate with them better:)
I'm so glad this video helped you! Thanks for sharing 😁😁
@@dearkristin can you please compare Se to Ne, and talk about how these functions interact with each other in two people ?
ISTP here, one of my favorite things I've learned about Se in my time studying Myers-Briggs was how it was absent in my worst times. The Ti-Ni loop is paralyzing. Finding my Se on a day to day basis has been essential and a great way to develop meaningful experiences. It's also something that helps me be healthily competitive, which I enjoy. Long live, healthy Se!
"Do. Or do not. There is no try." - Yoda (ISTP)
I guess the thing to keep in mind is that there is no "best" function or MBTI type. Each function has its postitives and negatives, and each type has its own strengths and weaknesses. Some might naively think of Extraverted Sensing as being an irresponsible function because it only involves those things immediately present in front of us. Let me tell you, as an INTJ whose Extraverted Sensing comes last, my experience is that I sometimes have to force myself to focus on those things in the immediate present in order to be responsible, because if I do not, I will ignore those things until everything around me in the real world begins to fall apart from neglect or disuse. If I don't take a step back from my Introverted Intuition, I will get so caught up with future concepts that I will forget about such simple and obvious realities as needing to eat food, needing to take out the trash, doing laundry, checking the tire pressure on my vehicle, etc. which are not insiginificant things, especially when that thing you keep ignoring suddenly breaks when you least expect it. It is like having the ground you were standing on fall out beneath you, and because of that, I am grateful for Extraverted Sensing and those who use it well.
INTJ means Se is my inferior function, so I'm kind of fascinated by Se dominants, and kind of... scared of them, too? Though not necessarily in a bad way. They're just so unfathomable to me, in a way, though I will often wonder what it is to "live in the moment" like they do, since I'm almost completely unable to do so.
As for what "living in the moment" means... well, to me, an Ni dom, it's mostly about how things come together at a given time, and enjoying that feeling of clarity and completitude. Like when I finally understand how something works, or when an unexpected chord in a song completely changes how I perceive it, or the moment when all threads come together in a book or a movie, or that one phrase someone says that touches somewhere deep within me. Or even when I'm awestruck by the terrific power of diversity in human minds when watching a brilliant and talented ESFP youtuber talk about why extroverted sensors are awesome and acknowledging it is, indeed, so. ;)
Of course, some things elicit a very Se kind of response in me. Sensory stuff like feeling the wind or listening to the rain, for instance. Or some kinds of music. In some ways, that kind of controlled chaos can and will give me some respite from the constant network of connections that my mind is always trying to build all the time, and I appreciate those moments.
This is such a good description of Ni dom with Se inferior. I relate to your description of both, but those "everything is connected" moments are few and far between! Thanks for sharing 😁👌
Not worrying about a scary event until two hours before sounds really nice, my Si could never! 😩 -ISFJ
I'm so proud for getting here early for once :0
And it's good to have you here!
I'm an INTP but I still really love dancing and acting. I feel like I can pretend to be someone else and it's so fun to just try to be another person sometimes.
Thanks for the insights, Kristin. As an INTJ, I sometimes get bursts of this SE experience. Thankful, after 48 years, I've gotten more experience with it and no longer act like a fool. ;)
My fiancé is an ESFP - I am an INFJ. 😅 It makes for a very interesting household 24/7 lol!
Wow, this was very insightful! As an INTJ I find it really hard to let my Ni chill, instead I wish I could do Se better lol This video was very eye-opening to me as an Ni-dom. So, I can't help but wonder, how do you Ni? You should totally make another video about inferior Ni and its struggles, your thoughts, tips etc. because there are tons of videos about Ni at the first slot but not many (if any) at the last one. It's a completelyyyy different perspective and I'm so here to hear more about it!
damnnn I'm an ENFP and this was inspiring! Yes, of course I should be catering towards my own needs instead of getting caught up with the expectation of getting better at Si all day! I need to work on myself but stay happy at the same time!!!!
time to restart my life for the 9000th time 🥴
As an ENFP I also feel this. I need to get better with my Se I’m not very good at staying in the moment. I just get so carried away with thinking about all my ideas and concepts and just trying to gather as much information about the world and people as I can.But at the same time care more about hypotheticals.
@@Meg_intheclouds Same! Fellow ENFP, and I always get so fricken excited about a future event. But when the event actually arrives in real life, I'm thinking about the next one and I totally miss experiencing the very thing I was excited to experience. So I'm trying to be more intentional about living a moment that I have been looking forward to
@@nzlioness yes! 100% agree I get more excited thinking about the event when the event itself. Tho my sister had Defo helped me be more in the moment cause she’s an EsTP and her Se Dom is super developed (tho I wish she use more of her other functions which is why I got her into mbti, she can be incredibly reckless sometimes and I think she needs to develop her Last 2 functions more especailly), and my mum is ISTJ. So I’m surrounded by sensors who defo help me stay grounded and not get too carried away lol. Also in my friendship group we have an INFJ, ESTJ, ISTP, INTP and me (ENFP). And it’s a good dynamic
@@Meg_intheclouds That does sound like a good dynamic! I wish I had more sensors in my life! My brother is one (ISFP), but I never appreciated it until after he moved to a different city 😭 there are a few ISTJs in my life and I absolutely adore them, but aside from them, I've surrounded myself with INs 😅 INTJ, INFJ, INFP and an ISTJ are my core friends. Definitely go to the ISTJ so they can tell me "no" sometimes 😂 Love them to bits!
@@nzlioness haha, ISTJ’s are awesome. Even more so when my dad and me get my mum to use more of her inferior Ne, which I think my mum naturally uses more of around my dad and also my grandad (ENTP)
I'm have Ne and my whole family having Se, also just got out of a relationship with an Se guy, so I've always felt like an odd ball and I'm starting to think I should give up on Se users, there are some conflicts between Ne and Se in the MBTi community too (you can see it in the memes haha) but that goes against my ENFP morals so here I am watching this video. Thank you, it's needed
My best friend is an ESTP, and if not for him I as an INTJ would probably never leave my house hahaha That being said, after every time we go out I need a one week recharge
Much love from your ENFP Se demon cousin! ESFPs are so underloved in this community and I hope this video teaches more people about how amazing Se users can be!!
As an INTJ, I think this is absolutely fascinating. For me, "living in the moment" (a phrase I never use, and doesn't really resonate with me) is all about ideas and concepts. Does it make sense? Is it useful? Is it interesting? Does it have sound internal logic to it? Does it help accomplish a particular goal? The fact that these things aren't interesting to everyone kinda breaks my brain. But I think that's the value of MBTI: in a word, not everyone is like you, and you know what-- that's okay.
Love this! 👌 Thanks for sharing 😁
I’m an INFP and I do this too except that I also take personal fulfilment into account
INFJ here!
I can live in the moment when my engagement with the tangible world aligns with my personal values, morality, and beliefs. Because of my SE inferior, I tend to be anxious and indecisive on how to react to a random or surprising event. However, over time, I'd learned to adapt to sudden external stimuli (like a friend calling me up to go scuba-diving in an alligator-infested river on a weekend). I just remember how scuba-diving in an alligator-infested river aligns with my dream to study freshwater ecology in college. I may be anxious in the moment of that call, but that's when I must exercise my SE function to get what I want from the tangible world. So I simply did it! The experience left me feeling calm, collected, and confident enough to experience life to the fullest.
Anxiety and all! 😂
It''s really interesting how similar it is for me although I am an ISFP. The not replying to text messages is definitely true for Se secondary function.
If I want to be somewhere else I simply go there. I studied abroad for half a year and wasn't anxious about it beforehand at all. I was just excited. How I decided I wanted to study in russia? A friend at university asked me if I wanted to join her, I said yes, and the decision was made.
And I never have the feeling of missing anything because I am just so focused on the moment that it doesn't come to my mind to wonder about other places I could be at that moment.
Ouh and I hate it when people ask me about my plans for the future. You can ask me about my plans for dinner or maybe the weekend but any further in the future usually doesn't exist for me.
Yes! I relate to this entire comment!
My little 9 yr old ESFP just got done eating a whole thing of tic tacs in under 20 minutes. 😅
That was super interesting thank you for sharing!! I personally feel that living in the moment gives me the most peace and relieves stress or worry! (Am an ESFJ, so Si secondary user)
On a side note, i appreciate the simple video presentation, no busy background, no big edits with images, just you looking at the camera. That makes it so much easier for me to listen and understand!
Its really funny that you say those things energize you because for me, an INTP with se blindspot, I get exhausted by constant sensory focus and overwhelmed by a lot of stimuli. Also, I literally have been terrified of lots of hands on activities and things like dancing because I feel overstimulated and feel afraid of looking stupid. But, I am glad to hear this perspective as it makes me reconsider my judgements toward Se-users.
For me, an xnfp, living in the moment means fulfilling parts of those fantasies I've had and doing new things as well, but paying more attention to how these things make other people react and how they correspond with artworks or songs or ideas I know. So I'm always looking for connections or a storyline rather then just doing things for their own sake.
I love the feeling of things coming together in a way, so I might be discovering a weird old song that fits a certain mood perfectly and then start imagining a scene in a movie or book that I would write because I feel inspired.
I love dancing at a party as well, but only if the song and moment is perfectly in tune with my feelings and I'm always chasing those moments, to remember them and build my narrative around them.
I push myself and others often out of the ordinary in a way, inviting chaos and loving the beauty of it and the absurdity of life that becomes visible.
And I might paint something to the song I danced to or write something about an unusual conversation that touched me emotionally or just confused me.
I feel like in my mind I am collaging most of the time.
I related to so much of this as an ISFP! I don’t worry much about the future, and planning for it gives me anxiety. Growing up, I would never stay in my room. I liked to work sitting on the floor in the living room where all of the commotion is. I was also always super sporty and loved to run and climb trees. I’m horrible about texting people back... I always have to apologize later! Definitely prefer phone calls or face-face interaction despite being an introvert. Every birthday I go camping or to the beach if I can. I can say I enjoy thinking intuitively, but there is a time limit. Once I feel that the subject has been beaten to death I lose interest.
100% 🙌
"And planning for it gives me anxiety"
RELATE!! 😭😭😭😭😭😭
as an fi dom trying to decide if im more isfp or infp, this is super helpful!!
Awesome! What's the verdict? 😉
@@dearkristin its funny, i think i fit the isfp stereotype more, but i'm definitely more of an ne user!!! i loooove your videos btw
5:14 the way she casually just threw in “country hopping”! Among the other normal activities for a human being is the most Se dom thing I could’ve thought up 😂😂
14:24 Same Kristen, Same 😅
Also, sky diving sounds great! 😆
Here’s an example of inferior Se. when I travel I like to just stand wherever I happen to be and just take it all in. The sights, sounds, vibe, etc. The problem is I get over saturated very quickly and am unable to take any more in. It’s like a piece of bubble gum that looses its flavor within a few minutes or a computer with a small hard drive.
This was actually so educational and needed, I've never had quite an accurate grasp on Se even though it's my third function (ENFJ) so thank you!
My step-sister has always been the bubbliest person on the planet and she's 100% ESFP, constantly throwing parties bringing people from all her walks of life together, she's fun and flirty and dynamic, a strong leader, and so kind! But also can you imagine an ESFP with a law degree?? That's my sister but she's actually great at her job. And she's often throwing costume parties though and inviting us to do FUN ACTIVITIES but I'm like ehhh do I have to (I love skincare and clothing and experiencing nature but not necessarily interacting with it or exerting myself haha). But oh my god lockdowns have been hell for her stuck in her apartment with the cat and the boyfriend, thank god we don't live in Melbourne.
Thanks for your comment! 😁 Your sister sounds like an ESFP for sure! Not surprised she is a lawyer, we are super capable of focusing, working hard and soaking in information, especially when we develop our 3rd and 4th functions!
Don't even get me started on lockdown...
But how does that coincide with any spirituality or Christianity if you are only focused on the tangible and things of this world..? Is that putting yourself in a worldly philosophy box that Jesus warned about (Colossians 2:8) I mention it because I happened to see you wearing a Christian T shirt with a verse in one of your videos..
My INTJ-ness really benefits from hearing this stuff. Thanks for putting this out there!
12:47 -- INTJ wouldn't have any expectations of you staying in touch. In fact, they'd prefer that you NOT bother them, unless you needed to share something immediately relevant that they absolutely HAD to be involved in. :)
Agreed. Unless the information is relevant to my myself or my plans, just tell me when I see you.
It's interesting hearing from someone who's literally the opposite type to me. (INTJ)
[edit]: Regarding "living in the moment", I find I can do that, but really when I'm on my own. It might seem strange, but I often like to go to the cinema, eat fancy meals, or go to a concert without other people (nothing beats an empty cinema all to yourself!). I find I can really lose myself in the experience without feeling self-conscious, or worrying whether or not the other people with me are enjoying themselves.
It's funny you say that you worry about other people enjoying their experience, because 1. INTJs are very aware of what they're not good at, and 2. anyone's inferior function is going to be something they're not good at.
It makes total sense that you would be insecure about your inferior Se- your (in)ability to provide a good-enough external experience.
(The insecurity manifests in worrying about looking good to others and making sure others are enjoying themselves.)
It also makes sense that it would hinder your ability to be fully present in the moment because your child Fi is worried about your inferior Se's biggest fear of not being able to provide a good-enough experience coming true.
In 2 minutes I could tell that you are nowhere near as shallowly focused on whatever is in your immediate experience as you say you are. So there's that. Nice try though.
Yep that’s describes my daughter pretty well. Good job.
I have drained myself from just watching it, but I'm an INTJ :).
Wow, I'm really impressed at your skills in explaining Se. I watch a lot of MBTI youtubers, but no one has explained Se in a very comprehensible way like you do. As an INFP, I never really understood Se users and their function never really made sense to me, but after watching this video, my perception towards Se users and their functions changed. Now I get why they behave the way they do, and now I understand my Se friends in real life. Thank you for this wonderful video. The way you explain abstract ideas into something tangible in the context of real world is really impressive 👏🏽👏🏽
Wow, really Interisting, se and Their ways (Esfp)
Supposedly I'm an esfp and I'm a great procrastinator!
Extroverted sensing is a myth. (INTP)
"I could talk forever" *at the end of a 17-minute video that's on one topic*
an ISTP and an ENFP is the worst combo, right?
7:35 as an ESTP, I just realised that this is something I should actively try to implement in my life; because I do it a lot too - not focusing on long time goals and hence ruining some of my future opportunities haha
Hence I agree with you when you say that mbti has helped me realise this and I'll try to work on it from now on. Usually I'd just assumed that everyone works this way xDD Thanks for the video!! Taught me a lot more things about my dominant function~
So glad to hear it!! That long-term planning... what a struggle. But yes, does help to know that it is our weak spot.
I live in a family with an intj, infj, istp, and infp (me). The se is low ⊙▽⊙
I have introverted sensing as my dominant function, so it's nice to see the other picture!
Hope I can do it justice!
I have Ne as my dominant and it is also so interesting to see the other side of the coin
I am more for abstract stuff :) P.S - Difference is good!
Love these long casual talking videos, keep it up!
Yay! Glad you enjoy them!
Infj here, the only time I engage my Se is when I’m having an existential crisis
Thank you for sharing that! My daughter is SE dominant.
As an INFJ, what I love about you all is that when interacting with healthy versions of you, I actually absorb your energy and then find myself being able to apply it in my own world later!
This is better done in short spurts, though, since I deal with low energy and it can be draining if the SE dom. person is being super extra or controlling.
I’m an ESTP with a lot of social anxiety. I sometimes doubt my type because in a group of people I tend to be really quiet unless I can throw in a joke or something but I love doing things and having fun experiences with people, I’m just not a big talker and I don’t come across as much of an extrovert because of this but I am. Is that allowed? Lol
its okay the extrovert really doesn’t matter sometimes its the cognitive function :)) im estp w few anxieties too lol i can be very social and a bit quiet. not bcs anything, i just dont want to come off as annoying or so that’s why im not loud w someone im not too comfortable with. but i realised when doing activities or so i would literally take the spotlight and ignore all of my anxiety XD
So underrated🥲
👌
I am an ISTJ, and I can also not worry about something right until I do it. Is that also an Si trait, or just an Se one?
Indeed! Given that Si is a past/present based function, and not a future based function, this makes sense!
@@dearkristin cool thanks.
OK now I’m convinced I’m a Se user. I love interacting with my environment and am very alert; aware of my surroundings and in tune with my senses. I also can literally just go to a beautiful location on my own and just enjoy the environment or use to practice photography - without people. Have always loved acting and performing and just engaging with others, though I do have strong Fi as well. Everything you mentioned made so much sense to me. I also moved abroad spontaneously to a country where I knew no one and didn’t speak the language; lived there for three years and met my husband! Crazy similarities. I do tend to panic about long-term decisions; will I like this in x number of years, am I making the right choice, etc but for the most part the idea of a 5 year plan is so foreign to me. Anyway, thanks for sharing!
Sounds pretty Se to me! Thanks for the comment 🥰