I just don’t understand how anyone, secure or insecure can learn to love being a relationship that consists of stonewalling, breadcrumbing and little to no reciprocity.
Because at first it will be everything your inner child desired from mommie and daddy. Attention love, fun, support, affection a future. Then once you are all in..... they being to pull away but you are hooked like an addict, and hence act anxious cause the vitamin love is drying up.unless someone gets help its miserable and or ends.
@@ladyofspa yep very true. The part about addiction is true. It’s intermittent reinforcement which is the same way a poker machine operates and that’s why gambling is addictive. Sometimes you win, sometimes you don’t but if you keep at it long enough there might just be that big pay off we are all hoping for. Take care 🙏🏻
Stop avoiding yourself and will stop attracting avoidance..... become secure whole, healed, and choose only that reflection as a partner.Give up the addiction to love, and relationship and they wont be able to play you.Both anxious and avoidants match cause unhealthy childhoods. Yearning for parents love makes you an addict and prey for avoidants. Reparent self.
I just want to commend you on how you blend the psychological and spiritual elements of these somewhat complicated attachment styles and how to work on them internally 🙏🏼
Thank you for your generous share. Your videos have insightful and spiritual depth which make them outstand. This is so inspiring and I can relate. Thank you for your wisdom 😊
OMG!! This video is PERFECT for me!! It’s EXACTLY what I needed to hear now!! It’s like you made it for me!! Thank you so much Briana! I’m saving this! ❤
Great video! I was just contemplating a similar thought of avoiding things that bring up pain, versus sitting and thinking about why. Sit with the discomfort and then decide what to do when you know where the pain is coming from. Could be a memory, a person, or something physical in my case.
Potholes are everywhere Don't worry about them, Just know when you encounter you will go around. You will recognize and cross street. If fall in you will get yourself out of it quickly. You are safe, You are smart, you can rely on yourself enjoy life, not worry about potholes. There's lots you can do that supports you.
After a really long listen and explaination very.... I hear you. The path is internal focus, committment to what you want, choosing a healthy self and doing the internal work while allowing everything to serve your healing.
This explains me & my relationship circle during last 10 years. Tried to avoid avoidant partners, resulting in compromising & being hurt. Thank you for your great work ❤❤❤
In this case, I’m describing an interdependent relationship. I think you might find this video helpful. Thank you for watching: Unlock True Love: 4 Steps to Secure Attachment in Dating ua-cam.com/video/vQluwOOM18A/v-deo.html
I am an avoidant, and the work on myself and realization of my behaviour and difficulties in a relationship exhaust and make me lose hope, i feel like seeing things, but not being able to change them...losing a relationship once again...cant save it, is it all my fault? Is it not the right time and person yet? I cant go on right now...
@@ralucamera6574 that is what i have been clinging to...now having lost, thrown away, this actual relationship inspite of all the work and effort...its hard to maintain hope... But i appreciate your encouraging comment...thank you!
@dt3963 a bit of both actually. Pushing my passive aggression aside, I do honestly think that breaking toxic cycles is a good thing--and even if we fearful avoidants are doomed to eternal grief, there's no sense in anyone else suffering. Less net grief == good.
Thank you so much! Your videos are awesome. I have so many issues to fix I don't even know where to start I'm terrified of abandonment I'm terrified of being rejected I'm terrified of a loneliness. I have terrible self-esteem. Where do you suggest I start? ❤️🩹
Thank you for watching and for sharing a bit of your experience. When we experience a lot of fear, it usually means we have become disconnected from our core, spiritual self and the younger parts of us are in a state of confusion. In my eco system, my attachment 101 courses are a good place to start. Which you can access through this link: onlinecourses.brianamacwilliam.com/attachment-styles-assessment Otherwise I recommend watching this playlist on healing the inner child: ua-cam.com/play/PLrMVDDz2c7DMyzTjSNsqNUN-b3hTBapTQ.html
The way you phrase things and your no nonsense approach is so eye-opening. Thanks for the dose of reality.
I appreciate that!
I just don’t understand how anyone, secure or insecure can learn to love being a relationship that consists of stonewalling, breadcrumbing and little to no reciprocity.
Because at first it will be everything your inner child desired from mommie and daddy. Attention love, fun, support, affection a future. Then once you are all in..... they being to pull away but you are hooked like an addict, and hence act anxious cause the vitamin love is drying up.unless someone gets help its miserable and or ends.
@@ladyofspa yep very true. The part about addiction is true. It’s intermittent reinforcement which is the same way a poker machine operates and that’s why gambling is addictive. Sometimes you win, sometimes you don’t but if you keep at it long enough there might just be that big pay off we are all hoping for. Take care 🙏🏻
Stop avoiding yourself and will stop attracting avoidance..... become secure whole, healed, and choose only that reflection as a partner.Give up the addiction to love, and relationship and they wont be able to play you.Both anxious and avoidants match cause unhealthy childhoods. Yearning for parents love makes you an addict and prey for avoidants. Reparent self.
I just want to commend you on how you blend the psychological and spiritual elements of these somewhat complicated attachment styles and how to work on them internally 🙏🏼
Yes I concur ❤✨❤️
I wasn’t expecting this response but honestly, I love it more than the response I was expecting
Thank you for watching, I’m glad you enjoyed the video. ❤️🙌
Thank you for your generous share. Your videos have insightful and spiritual depth which make them outstand.
This is so inspiring and I can relate. Thank you for your wisdom 😊
OMG!! This video is PERFECT for me!! It’s EXACTLY what I needed to hear now!! It’s like you made it for me!! Thank you so much Briana! I’m saving this! ❤
Thank you for watching! I’m glad that the video was helpful. 🙏❤️
Great video!
I was just contemplating a similar thought of avoiding things that bring up pain, versus sitting and thinking about why. Sit with the discomfort and then decide what to do when you know where the pain is coming from. Could be a memory, a person, or something physical in my case.
If you can avoid a pothole why wouldn’t I
Potholes are everywhere
Don't worry about them, Just know when you encounter you will go around. You will recognize and cross street. If fall in you will get yourself out of it quickly. You are safe, You are smart, you can rely on yourself enjoy life, not worry about potholes. There's lots you can do that supports you.
This was so helpful that I watched it twice. Thank you.
Thank you for watching. I’m glad that it was helpful. 🙏❤️
After a really long listen and explaination very.... I hear you. The path is internal focus, committment to what you want, choosing a healthy self and doing the internal work while allowing everything to serve your healing.
This explains me & my relationship circle during last 10 years. Tried to avoid avoidant partners, resulting in compromising & being hurt. Thank you for your great work ❤❤❤
This is so, so good!
Thank you!
Glad you like it!
The solution is to stop avoiding yourself.
Amen!
🏆
Nice one.
Ohh so very true
Great video! Thank you, Briana, you are a gem.
Glad it was helpful!
Is separate but together… good?
That often describes avoidant relationships.
In this case, I’m describing an interdependent relationship. I think you might find this video helpful. Thank you for watching: Unlock True Love: 4 Steps to Secure Attachment in Dating
ua-cam.com/video/vQluwOOM18A/v-deo.html
Thanks for the wisdom and food for thought!
Glad it was helpful!
I am an avoidant, and the work on myself and realization of my behaviour and difficulties in a relationship exhaust and make me lose hope, i feel like seeing things, but not being able to change them...losing a relationship once again...cant save it, is it all my fault? Is it not the right time and person yet?
I cant go on right now...
There is always hope, once you become conscious about your behaviour. Many books to read.
@@ralucamera6574 that is what i have been clinging to...now having lost, thrown away, this actual relationship inspite of all the work and effort...its hard to maintain hope...
But i appreciate your encouraging comment...thank you!
@@thomasklein8559 so much avoidants are in denial, the fact that you acknowledge your type is a big hope :)
I appreciate your intelligence
Excellent much timely
Glad you think so!
But Avoidants will be like “oh he’s ignoring me 💜 “ lol!
Just get a dog and be happy. Woof !
@@TaeglicheNarzisst Dogs are in general good for empaths too. They help regain energy.
Yeah no thanks. I’ll just do the wise thing instead and not entertain harmful avoidant behaviours. Misleading video
Thank you~ You're probably saving an Avoidant some grief 💖
@ they cause their own grief, but want to avoid accountability for their own actions. And the cycle continues. No thanks
@@dt3963 Thank you for breaking the cycle 😊
@@bran8370 can you explain? I’m really not sure if there’s a deeper meaning to that or if you’re just being passive aggressive here
@dt3963 a bit of both actually. Pushing my passive aggression aside, I do honestly think that breaking toxic cycles is a good thing--and even if we fearful avoidants are doomed to eternal grief, there's no sense in anyone else suffering. Less net grief == good.
Thank you so much! Your videos are awesome. I have so many issues to fix I don't even know where to start I'm terrified of abandonment I'm terrified of being rejected I'm terrified of a loneliness. I have terrible self-esteem. Where do you suggest I start? ❤️🩹
Thank you for watching and for sharing a bit of your experience. When we experience a lot of fear, it usually means we have become disconnected from our core, spiritual self and the younger parts of us are in a state of confusion. In my eco system, my attachment 101 courses are a good place to start. Which you can access through this link: onlinecourses.brianamacwilliam.com/attachment-styles-assessment Otherwise I recommend watching this playlist on healing the inner child: ua-cam.com/play/PLrMVDDz2c7DMyzTjSNsqNUN-b3hTBapTQ.html