Відео

all the unhealthy anxious attached people in the comments saying that avoidant people are evil is ironic.

Wrong advice Dear.

I have this image of a compiled Venn diagram, where several classifications overlap. This need for communication that leaves no room for multiple interpretations, no ambiguity, also is a neurodivergent trait. It is very stressful when people are not being clear. I remember vividly getting different instructions at my workplace from two different people higher up. It made me feel so stressed out I immediately got sick! And that was not even something major or vulnerable like matters of the heart are.

Just shut up please

We don’t have time for that shit go away

I'm not hearing better connecting, I'm hearing standing up for yourself. Which is a positive on its own, but the difference in relationship values ("the rules/terms of engagement ") are a disconnect in itself, and IMO compatibility is most about values, like these, so yeah, you can do your best to get on the same page or decide to invest only in connections where relationship values are aligned. Why make it harder than strictly necessary? On another note, that part about hug holding hands words will come, that is a bit cringe, because that is to be seen whether what exactly "eventually " comes or doesn't come. People who spent X years in some waiting/ hoping mode that stuff "will eventually come", as long as they throw enough love at all the non green flags / friction points? It is of course not the same thing but it reminds me of a fenomenon in gambling where you have spent such a large sum of money, you feel the urge to keep on gambling to keep the chance for hitting jackpot alive, instead of calling it a day and exit the casino.

That’s not anxious, a normal person would wonder what’s up when you disappear for a week. And the Why is this a big deal used to be known as a dick move. Maybe this guy just needs to lose enough people to figure it out. When someone pulled that line on me i didn’t have a whole lot to say until they started showing investment and concern. Dont reward dick behavior

Yes. Its difficult. Comes a point where you beg just for the bare minimum and they would act indifferent. Unless they want to improve themselves by healing you just let go

This truth bomb needs to be a pinned comment / disclaimer accompanying all content on "how to deal with your DA/FA/AP partner"

👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

Oh my god, this describes me so bad

oh cool, they didn’t care for real. that makes it so much easier 🫥🙄

Seriously - just go to the therapy and fix yourself. Stop trying to make excuses for treating people like shit. I don't care what my avoidant ex is aCtUaLlY thinking - just express it in form of words or f****ck off.

Have these texting scenarios like “you’re the light of my life” happened to umm anyone? There’s a lot of filler here. It could have been a 5 minute video without all the hyper specific exposition.

True

😂

This is exactly how my wife left me. 😂

Love this thanks so much

Once you become aware of attachment theory - it's so apparent and easy to recognize.

Hi, can you also make videos like this but for business like when it comes to business relationships and setting boundaries and how to talk to people like for example if you have an attorney or you have a surface that’s doing your roof and you need to be firm, how you speak

Try this w a narcissist they’ll eat u alive

I theorize the fearful avoidant is the most likely to be described as the narcissist. Who pedestalizes (anxious) then discards (avoidant).

I've watched thousands of narcissism UA-cam channels over 7 years, and I found that they are divided on how they describe the attachment traits of the narcisist. Dr. Ramani's, and other UA-cam narcissm channels see the anxious people pleasing "Golden Child" as the "narcissist" and the dismissive ScapeGoated child they attract as the "victim." However, Ross Rosenberg's, Les Carter's, Lise Leblanc's, and most narcissism channels see the anxious Golden Child as the codependent "victim" and the dismissive ScapeGoated child they are attracted to as the "narcissist."

Just go to the basic. Ignore them. Mirror them. Or play hard to get. Just like in old days😂

I have discovered that avoidants prefer anxious people pleasing dogs, and anxious types prefer aloof independent avoidant cats.

Yes to all questions

Its helpful knowing that my nervous system is part of what is going on with me. Also helped me understand why so many years of therapy haven't helped as much as I think it should. I need different help. I have all the good qualities you describe. I want to have more secure relationships.

Ruuuuunnn and dont lock back 😅😅😅

Fuck them!!!! All avoidants should be together and just ignore each other

Damn! I intuitively tried to do it like this, but you found the perfect words in addition to it. So inspiring

They not worthy of waisting your time on letter! Just keep walking dont look back! It is what it is!

you are being held ACCOUNTABLE

Fantastic video A month ago, my five-year marriage came to an end. I'm devastated that my real love chose to distance themselves from me. I've tried everything to win him back, but it's all in vain, and I can't imagine my life with anyone else. I try my hardest not to think about him, but I can't help but miss him and think about him often. I truly couldn't explain why I'm saying this. 🥺😞

Fantastic video A month ago, my five-year marriage came to an end. I'm devastated that my real love chose to distance themselves from me. I've tried everything to win him back, but it's all in vain, and I can't imagine my life with anyone else. I try my hardest not to think about him, but I can't help but miss him and think about him often. I truly couldn't explain why I'm saying this. 🥺😞

Fantastic video. My five-year marriage ended a month ago. I was devastated when my real love chose to leave me. My life would be impossible without him, and despite my best efforts, I have failed to win him back. Even though I try my hardest to stop thinking about him, I can't help but miss him and think about him often. It is difficult for me to explain why I am saying this. 🥹😞

Wonderful video My marriage of five years ended a month ago. When my true love decided to part ways with me, am so broken hearted,. I can't fathom my life with anyone else, and even though I've tried everything to get him back, it's all in vain. Despite my best efforts to put him out of my thoughts, I can't help but miss him and think about him all the time. I could not really tell you why I am saying this.🥹😞

How do you do this 😢

None. lol. Sad. Three years down the drain with a not serious avoidant 😂😢😢😢

I was cut to the core by my son's mother. Haven't dated since thats was over a decade ago.

As I watch a few videos on this subject I find many of these preferred situations were present in our relationship.

Everything resets when we are together. Time apart needs to not be secret time apart

This is good to try, but as my experience, they will turn you down even you say it the nicer way. At the end of the day, the avoidance have total control over whether the relationship continues or not. There’s nothing you can do if they decide to leave.

None of it matters because they will fly the coop anyway

So good and spot on so… I work on me go about my life for me growing and meeting people (we’re not in a commitment ) and enjoy seeing my DA and if things change then that’s great but still if they wanted more they would engage about it so until the conversation looks like they are not ready to meet where I am willing to meet them. Question 1 I’d know they care ~ I need to care for me 2 My worthiness ~ I can validate my own worthiness it does not have to be from someone else’s 3 I am insecure Working on this and growing up in unhelpful thought environment where the u helpful thoughts were All or nothing Thinking If you get married you will be happy Life is perfect for us You’re worthy and better if you’re in a relationship You should always feel good Working balancing this 🤍

Absolutely excellent content! Very relatable. I think the statement, "Partners that appear to operate in the opposite way than you would on the outside is a clever way that the universe gives you a spiritual mirror of self-discovery." is going to stay with me for a while.

I think I might actually be avoidant (or fearful avoidant that never looked at my avoidant traits). I remember when I was younger I felt like I was never good enough. Always getting criticised on every little aspect of myself and how I couldn’t measure up to her wants, even getting beaten for mistakes or things that didn’t meet her standards. I had to be an exact reflection of her and she couldnt just let me be my own person. My first relationship I was clingy, but it seems like clinging and trying to meet my partners needs and the relationship failing almost kind of mirrors my relationship with my mum. I can never meet your standards so why bother. (I don’t even think I really want to meet your standards, it’s moreso do transactionally to get my needs met. So now, with relationships I stopped trying. I feel like if I stay alone I have freedom to be myself and I can stop being so focused on others and can finally just be myself. The same way I stopped trying with my mother by distancing myself is the same way I’ve stopped trying with relationships. I fully understand now what’s meant by emotional freedom

Let them disconnect from their emotion and you!!!it's not your problem it's their! You fix your problaim they need to fix theirs! Don't worry about them! Either way you are good!

Bollox to them. They're worthless emotional vampires

Here is a 7th: She needs to sleep under 1 duvet with you cuddled up to your chest under your arm so that you cannot move or sleep much at night

Why would anyone be emphatetic and loving with Avoidant ? Someone who treated you beyond disrespectful who just ghosted you and dumped you like a yesterday garbage ! Who doesn't respect you enough to return your phone call or text! Avoidant never finish with ex girlfriend's they have several door left open for past situationship every body more than velcome to walk back on that door past present and future ! Close your doore and locked because trust me !! Avoidant come back and breadcumbing you for validation! Shut your doore and move on!