in addition to anger, when the narcissist tells you things like: -you've changed -i got no use for you -you're crazy -you only care about yourself they are really telling you that they have lost control over you. at that point it's checkmate in your favor. 💪😎 keep winning! cheers from southern ontario, canada 🍁
@@rtco769 There is no possible way to "help" a true NPD, regardless of what you say, do, or try. That's because if they allowed their self to improve and/or work on whatever, that would be an admission (in their mind anyways) of that they are indeed not superior to you and of that they are mistaken/wrong somehow. To the NPD, propping up their delusions of superiority and infallibility are everything to them. This is why they will not accept any "healthy" advice from you whatsoever.
My narc never said anything to me after he realised he'd lost control over me. He tried to get me back into his bed, use sex to control me as he always did. When that failed he just moved on, with new supply he'd been grooming for years, a former divorce client. I don't know why I stayed so long. I couldn't leave as we always lived in my houses. So it would mean ejecting him from the home and I was too codependent to do it. Now I'm trauma bonded and trying to pick up the pieces of my life after 25 yrs
The last narc I met, told me that I have changed.😂 Nope. I'm just over the bs. I am DONE! I'm a happy camper. I am not interested in anyone, and not looking for anyone. I am good.🙂♥️
True NPDs have no "use" for whoever they simply can not control. Control and envy are EVERYTHING to them... and they quite literally equate exerting control over (and gaining compliance) from others as "love" and loss of control as "hate". Think about that one for a bit!
Sexlessness. Sharing a bed with someone who doesn’t acknowledge you are a sexual being hurts so much. I was in a sexless marriage for years. Being a woman with a high libido, I felt inadequate. Worst I feel invisible. The man who was “supposed” to want me, just didn’t. We talked about it many times, more than I can recall now. It was always me. I wanted too much - once a week was too much for him. I didn’t initiate - he was always complaining of headaches, stomaches, always stressed, always tired. I was too sexual - when being subtle doesn’t work, what is next? Explicitly saying I wanted sex. Oh but then it was not appropriate. Conversations would end up with him saying he didn’t feel desired or I made him feel emasculated because he didn’t want sex as much as I did. Yeah, it was always me. I could never win. While we were dating we would have a decent amount of sex, it was good. The first huge red flag was not having sex in our honeymoon - which I ignored. It rapidly decrease to once a week, then every other week. Years gone by it was months in between, by the time we divorced it was over a year with no sex. I cried myself to sleep more times that I can count. I didn’t understand what was wrong with me. Was I that undesirable? Was I repulsive? After those conversations, I just stopped trying, initiating, mentioning sex. We were still loving - holding hands, hugging, kissing - but sex was off the table. He then cheated on me. Swore he had sex only 4 times in a year (or more) long affair. It didn’t matter. For years my self worth was damaged by him, years of low self esteem, years of feeling less of a woman, the marriage that was more than over, waiting in hospice, really ended. Funny how things are, I asked him for a divorce, he manipulated me into staying, next day his infidelity came to light. I was out as soon as I could. Best thing of my life. Additionally, That feeling when your partner cheated and you don't have the courage to leave him / her so you just death with the pain and live everyday asking questions about your worth. This pain is different from the cheating one_living and seeing him everywhere anticipating when he or she do it again. The best thing is to hire a private investigator digitalinvestigate@gmail.com to help you spy on their cellphone remotely just like he did for me...
We’ve been married for 38 years n one day about 28 + years ago I said hey i noticed we’re not having sex He said TYPICAL of NARCS: ITS YOUR FAULT-YOU SAID YOU SEE ME AS a BROTHER For years I felt guilty but I didn’t feel unattractive asked myself what’s wrong w me it didn’t affect my self esteem because even though he BLAMED me DEEP DOWN MY GUT INSTINCT was screaming: Something is WRONG but I would find out later about his heinous double life One day out of the blue he said, “it’s not your fault” My reply, “I know it isn’t” And we’ve never talked about it again Do I miss sex? With him? It was the greatest gift he gave me by “withholding” sex!!! I try to live by the Bible so I don’t entertain the thoughts of any type of affair I’ve just compartmentalized that part of my life Would I like to be sexually active? One day For now I’m a sex camel
My friend wants no intimacy it became a punishment for her he'd stonewall ignore and then expect intimacy she wants none of it now it took years of this emotional abuse. She feels nothing now. 🫤
I have not communicated with my ex for almost 10 years since our divorce. Till now, he continues to send me hate messages whenever he’s raging over something, trying to initiate a new war so that he can vent and blame me for his inadequacies. I do not respond to any of his messages no matter how much he provokes. It’s satisfying to know how he must be seething when he realises he no longer has power over me.
Until recently, I used to see/feel the narc's anger and wonder what I did to deserve this, as if I did something wrong. Now, I feel satisfied knowing that 1) they think I'm better than them 2) they are one less person that I should care or think about 3) I deserve much better than this/them (goodbye and stay away).
Due to your channel dear Danish, I came to know that both my parents are narcs 😢 ... now everything makes sense. Especially why each and every cell of my body feels unwell and wants them to stay away ...
You defeat them because you have an authentic-self (they don´t have one). So you don´t have to do nothing in fact to defeat them you have it into you ...
I've removed all the fake friends that are narcissists from my life. When I cross paths with a new stranger that is a narcissists I confront them right off the bat. If they try to manipulate and control me I tell them straight to their face that I don't put up with their dumb boring narcissistic games. If I have to defend myself from them physically from getting attacked by them I fight them and I fight to win. And I always do,after I've fought them and won with a little bit of their blood here and a little bit there, they stay very far away from me!!!! Not all of them are fighters I've noticed they just argue, gaslight, manipulate, lie, and insult you criticize you, and start a smear campaig against you. Some do fight but when their getting punched around and knocked down by me they show fear and are quit shocked of what I can do to them if need be!!!! If your not a fighter it's harder to get away from them.🤨😌🤔💪💪👍👍🤸🤸🤸🤸🤸😜
i like your commitment to protecting yourself mentally. physically though, do so sparingly. what is there to gain with these pylons? consider that with narcissists, there is no depth they will stoop to if they feel wronged. especially if they are malignant narcissists which are the most dangerous, because they will resort to serious violence. not sure how old you are. i am 50. ask yourself, is it worth risking injury if you have a job to go to , a house to pay for, or a wife /kids to support. you do you, but hopefully you'll give the physical fighting part some thought. the best revenge is living your best life without them. let karma take care of the rest, because all rotten fruits will eventually fall of the tree. cheers, steven
Most of the time I made the narcissist mad (my mother) is because I was calling out her hypocrisy and her bs. She'd blow up. I went no contact four of five years ago. I haven't looked back.
I know a handful of narcissist and they all have so many similar personalities. It truly is the love and attention a person gives them that makes them special . Narcissist love is conditional. In realizing I will never reach their expectations I limit what I give and become selective to their negative energy. I feel so free now that I don't feel the need to love people who destroy me. Grateful for your insight Danish Bashir
Thanks Darnish because sometimes I feel bad doing what I am doing. I left when he got violence to me when I was pregnant. I let him back in and he abused me worse. He took me to court to see the child and all he got was facetime contact. And I moved I changed my name and I won't let him back in.
I am so happy😁 I watch your videos everyday because I look forward to your words of wisdom. ❤ You definitely help us to not only survive after the living hell we've escaped, but you are teaching us how to THRIVE. I am feeling stronger everyday. I am thriving now. Thank You Danish 😁
After her ( my mom ) gaslighting me, calling me names , rejecting me, did false accusations against me, did smair campagnes against me.... and i overwon and overcome.... this is the exact stage im in with her.
Long ago I used to try to label them as WALKING MAD, WM. so weird they are, and, unpleasant to partner with as it will all ways always be out of balance, disharminous, lacking ... no growth. Let them all go and don't tell anyone. No one. 🙏
I have been watching Dr. Ramani videos for about a year and they have changed my life. I recently saw your short videos and they resonated with me as well. Thank you for the work that you are doing.❤
After living with this person for 30 plus years I finally realised he is a narcissistic personality. I have been trying to adjust, do whatever I can, waiting for him to realise and change, but no use. After going through your videos I finally realised the true nature of such people and all that I was going through was exactly what you mentioned. It was hell. They are very difficult, emotionally immature, fake people who will suck out everything from you and leave you on the verge of nervous breakdown. Best thing to do is leave them, though it takes a lot of courage and time. Thank you for your valuable information and suggestions ❤
Something I’ve noticed in narcissists friendships lately how they go on and above to do you a favor or kindness you didn’t ask for only to later pull the “you owe me card.” As if you are expected to be obligated for the choice they made. It was a hard lesson I no longer fall for. Don’t feel badly for other people’s choices. An obligation friendship is not a true friendship.
Yes it's crazy, my relationship was long distance and we would meet up every few months on a trip. Before the trip we were so excited and happy to see each other, or at least I thought. I know I was looking forward to it because I missed him. Then we would meet up and he never really looked happy and I was very happy. And out of nowhere he would yell at me for the most insignificant things. I'm so sensitive I would cry on the spot and fall into defensive mode. And then I'd be upset the rest of my days with him. Now looking back he wanted to bring me down. That's the only reason I could see ..
I am emotional now. Hopefully this litter community comment section can comfort me that I'm not the only one alone that suffer from Narcissist's betrayed family that I always loyal and trust. I hope I not the only one to lose my youth and prime because of stupidity Narcissist abuse. I'm always know somebody in this world that life is much worsen to moving on than me.
You are definitely not alone. And you're not crazy. And you're not wrong. Or any of the other things the narcissist said. Danish has formed a great community where we get information, support, understanding, and help. Best wishes on your road to healing.💖
You give the WHY concerning anything that happens with the narcissist and thereby empower us to see the situations that bring up their behavior for ourselves. Narcs do not like it when we figure them out. The advantage then goes to us in the conflict.
I'm sure there would be a lot of people who can relate - whether they live in houses, condos, apartments, mobile homes, or wherever. A thought that came to me was to not antagonize the neighbor. Just stay in your own lane. Follow the rules and ignore them. We had a neighbor once who called the police on my sister because, preparing for the street sweeper that day, drove her car up onto the front lawn. To do so meant she had to drive up their driveway apron (we didn't have a driveway) and over a tiny spot of "their" grass. A section maybe 3'x3'. The neighbor was threatening to have her fined, or arrested, or whatever they do, claiming that she was "squatting". Meaning using a portion of their land without permission. The police officer called our house and I had to take the message. After explaining, the officer told me that the neighbor was basically being a jerk but it was in his rights to have this "concern" so they'd have to come out the next time he called. Overreacting much??!! But they can be unreasonable and vicious. Just keep yourself and your family safe and stay within your rights while being respectful of his. Good luck!
Mine says your happiness is making me miserable and I enjoy making him miserable. 30 years and still going. It's hard to cut ties with someone you ❤️ love.he says I'm better than him because I believe in God my savoir. He says he puts in 90 percent when I put in 10 percent. I'm disabled and sometimes I might complain about pain then he says oh now you're going to play my disability card.the devil is using him to break me but through God's grace ,glory and holiness I will carry on. ❤
YUP…FOR SURE. Keep strong everyone and keep learning. You will see that things will get better. Take the time need to learn and 1 day at a time. Be diligent Thank you Danish. God bless you. From Cynthia in JANESVILLE, WISCONSIN USA
My ex husband changed the email on his mortgage that I’m paying for because I posted that I was happy on Facebook . He’s trying to let it go into foreclosure just to hurt me. The funny thing is, is that’s it’s totally in his name and it won’t hurt my credit if it does. He currently can’t afford a $4,000 tag on a $30k vehicle he bought. What an idiot lol!
The saddest thing for me was how she would send me Instagram memes on how I looked up toxic and found out I'm the one who toxic and I'm like if you know this why are you putting me Thur this
Not true! When you make them angry then all that happens is it's 'proof' that their behavior is justified and they turn the heat up even more, to new levels of depravity that they themselves didn't know they were capable of. They then reason within themselves that their behavior is completely justified because you're so low in society that no law enforcement/court/law/rule applies to the narcissist because they're doing societies work by bulling you. I've got 6 narcissists over the years so angry that they each and every one of them would have felt justified in murdering me. One time I lost 3 teeth. All you have to do to get them there is really simple. I don't recommend it because every time I was blamed for the narcissists behavior including by police. If you must do it for whatever reason, you have to stay calm. Accuse them of doing something that they have actually done in front of impartial witnesses. ie if they are family violence perpetrators ask them if they have bashed their wife lately? Another case, if in the workplace and you're sick of their BS and you want a Pyrrhic victory (because it WILL cost you more than the narcissist), start by disagreeing with them, then ask them for their help in resolving the situation, then disagree again, repeat. Each time watch them and keep feeding their rage like wood in a fire by disagreeing, asking, disagreeing, asking, disagreeing. When they're starting to lose it say "I've already asked you 5x (or whatever) for assistance, I'm still waiting." When they scream they have given a solution say, "No you haven't." How they go over the edge is when they're in that state and they make a demand you say 'NO'. Every time without fail they flip out. One time paramedics had to be called because the narcissist passed out. Turns out he had a heart issue and is now waiting for a transplant (I pity the poor person's family who's loved one has died to save this miserable sod). That is a very true story. I got in so much trouble from my employer for this incident it was amazing but I stood my ground. Fortunately for me the request the narcissist was making was ridiculous - he told me to push by myself a wet 350kg tarp 50m across a warehouse floor for giggles. It was an unreasonable request and I'm not doing it. I pointed out that my boss was the narcissist's enabler, which was perfectly true - then my boss started on me. I just said, Do you really want to go there because I'm up for it?" As a victim you either have to bend over and take it or taunt them and bend over and take it. Either way you're getting sodomized. I choose the latter for at least I feel better about standing up to them but it has cost me big time in every case.
Thank you for doing this video today I will be forever working on myself, but I’m going to live life too. 😭 man, looking back Danish makes me emotional because it’s just so personal, never mind having your child experience it. I appreciate you so much for your journey and who you are, how honest you are, and having gone through this it’s just indescribable about it all. I’m just speechless and pray that others can find out quicker than I did about this evil behavior and person. I hope I haven’t missed out on important things because I didn’t understand yet, and if I did I pray that God won’t count me out just yet. Man, I’m giving you a big hug from CA 🥲
Exactly! The truth is that narcissists are full of fears and lies. "Keep doors closed forever and focus on your own healing" is the best option to break free 🙏🏻
Hi my name is Klarissa. I had a partner tha didn't want me to be successful and my own mother doesn't want me be successful. My mother is very negative and the rest of family is as well. They partake in my suffering, and they think if they don't help me, I won't succeed in life. These are some very evil individuals. And thank you for the video, your video helped me.
My parents do the same in fact they never help do anything but they'll break their necks for my older siblings...it's like they want me begging them so they can brag what they do for me .....now I just don't deal eith them at all..idk if they are narcissist or just plain assholes but either way I feel your pain
@@josephvillines9766 Thanks for sharing. It really helps me to push forward. When other people can relate. My parents also go out of their way to help my older siblings. I had to find out the hard way. My family members do the most to be a**holes. Just flat out evil, but I have overcome with God on my side.
I received a mail with only negative content. My response was “ thanks for your Email, I have read it 3 times and closed it with a smile. When this is your feeling I wish you luck with your new supply and be happy you will not receive any negative energy from me”. After that I blocked here and all related people. Also I deleted all pictures and messages from here. This to protect myself
It's a pyrrhic victory. When you say the family needs a change of heart and someone says do you mean ME! The anger is contagious in which this jealous narcissist triggers you to be as lonely as them. They are the ultimate in selfish and selfish doesn't understand relationships.
He moved to another supply like a leach he is. Feel sorry for that new supply. He called me a foolish woman, crazy woman and mad woman because I rejected his abuse and blocked him. He abandoned his child and has zero bond with his child and doesn't care. He doesn't pay child support and I don't expect too anyway. I happily raise my kids alone and support them financially with their fathers in their life. I am happy am independent and raising my kids in a healthy environment without drama but peace and drama free zone. It's 100% better to raise kids as a single parent than raising those kids with a narcissist.
You need therapy. You’re a baby mama with different fathers and you think you’re better than the last guy you chose to have a kid with? You picked him! What does that say about you?
I watch for two reasons. 1. You are amazing while helping us connects the dots and find answers. 2. The backgrounds! Your house has so much color on the walls and it’s different in each room and to be honest, it lets us get to know you too!
no sane person would spend their time,emotional energy and life to defeat a narcissist.Personally,i do not play power games,win,lose,defeat games contrary to what the narcissist might think.I am authentic and i do not care to win over any person,esp.narcissists
I am starting my journey to free myself, thanks for confirming that I am not the one with the issue, all your videos hit home and help keep me sane. Keep up the good work! Wish me luck.
They lose their cool very easily, mighten they just try to relax and come down to earth, a tad, on their own, can't have that, mere mortals acting like mere mortals, perish the thought!
Thank you for your messages. They are very helpful. During my recovery from a narc ex husband of 27 years, my son married a narc wife. They have 4 children. It has broken my heart as to how those children are treated. I had to also step away as she had become very abusive to me. Now I no longer can see my grandkids. I miss them terribly, but my mental health is much better. I wish there was a better solution.
Every time my ex takes me back to court it's because he's still trying to "win". There's no winning and losing in relationships except when you realize that you are worth while and you can close the door on your past. In a true give and take relationship there's no good guys or bad guys.
I see you are trying to tell us what is happening when they get mad and you wonder what is making them feel that way. They see you as winning so that you are living your path and not theirs through their manipulation. I can navigate and know I am the right path for me if the narcissists is no longer pleased in the interaction with me! Thanks.
This thing with the predatory is sooo true.. I experienced it multiple times with my mother. I have been in no contact for a month now. Still I got some glimpses from her through my sister recently. This is a real thing!
Thank you, Danish. Not only do you do a great job educating, empowering, validating us but I read the comments. Bless you for giving us a forum to know we are not alone. In addition to cutting out narcs, seeing early red flags, and other indicia keeps us from the confusion and shame we used to experience. Now that we know, it is shocking to see how many narcs are all around us. Forwarned is forearmed!
Great thing to know....thank you Danish. When they are angry at me...I won. I have to learn this, because they will intentionally do things, say things, just to be angry at me, all the time. And bring in their toxic cult group...and they help with the nit picking, telling me God wants you to do this and that. As if their Ego's are now God, lol. I will learn to appreciate it when they are angry....and disconnect and go on my way, doing good things without them being involved.
I keep wondering how I became ill with pneumonia and hospitalized for nearly a month. She keeps throwing that up to me and boo hooing about it and I ask her why. I remember the experience. Believe it or not, they're happy memories. I temember the burses carrying me around the hospital instead of just letting me lay in the crib all day. I remember it was also because I kept crawling out of my crib. They even put a net over it, but I figured out how to crawl out of it anyway. I remember and knew they took me to the nurses lounge because I remember a huge wall mural with 7:30 cherubs painted on it. Mom is always trying to "boo hoo" how mean the doctor was to me and how I had to be in the hospital away from her... I shut her down saying why did she keep trying to instead all of these bad memories when I only have good, fun memories. Her wimpering abruptly stops and her mad..actually evil face sets in because she can't play out her supposed hurt/dismay. There had to have been a reason to cause me harm at such depth in order for her to garnish sympathy...and continue to try to garnish it to this day....I'm 73 yrs old. She's 93. And, no, she 's not senile. She's been doing this ever since I can remember to try to put me into "damaged and I had/have to care for you " mode. She ' really looses often and sreams out, "She's mine! She belongs to me!"
I believe they are sadistic because they are soul sick and controlled by demons. I am not giving them a free pass because i believe they have accepted this path. Its like the saying " Do you feed the good wolf or bad wolf?" They have made the decision to feed the bad... Tbe person i was involved with , I could feel his suffering, and he made me suffer. I could feel the low vibration and I felt fear around him and i didn't know why. Now i know why, he enjoys my pain and despair and discomfort. Very dangerous people
Betrayal Trauma After Narcissistic Abuse:
www.emotionalabuserecovery.com/livevent
in addition to anger, when the narcissist tells you things like:
-you've changed
-i got no use for you
-you're crazy
-you only care about yourself
they are really telling you that they have lost control over you.
at that point it's checkmate in your favor. 💪😎
keep winning!
cheers from southern ontario, canada 🍁
"Changed" = you are now awake to and no longer tolerating the bullshit.
@safeeffective385 well said. 💯
-cheers, steven
My narc sis. "you are sick" ___ ___ You are __
@@rtco769 There is no possible way to "help" a true NPD, regardless of what you say, do, or try.
That's because if they allowed their self to improve and/or work on whatever, that would be an admission (in their mind anyways) of that they are indeed not superior to you and of that they are mistaken/wrong somehow.
To the NPD, propping up their delusions of superiority and infallibility are everything to them.
This is why they will not accept any "healthy" advice from you whatsoever.
My narc never said anything to me after he realised he'd lost control over me. He tried to get me back into his bed, use sex to control me as he always did. When that failed he just moved on, with new supply he'd been grooming for years, a former divorce client. I don't know why I stayed so long. I couldn't leave as we always lived in my houses. So it would mean ejecting him from the home and I was too codependent to do it. Now I'm trauma bonded and trying to pick up the pieces of my life after 25 yrs
The last narc I met, told me that I have changed.😂 Nope. I'm just over the bs. I am DONE! I'm a happy camper. I am not interested in anyone, and not looking for anyone. I am good.🙂♥️
Amen. I'm gonna stay alone. I can't risk another mistake. I'm better off alone and single.
True NPDs have no "use" for whoever they simply can not control.
Control and envy are EVERYTHING to them... and they quite literally equate exerting control over (and gaining compliance) from others as "love" and loss of control as "hate".
Think about that one for a bit!
@@safeeffective385
Exactly. They are nuts in my opinion.
@@clintonnagy1662
I agree. I don't want to lose anymore of my life to evil people.
Me also want no relationship with another man ever
Sexlessness. Sharing a bed with someone who doesn’t acknowledge you are a sexual being hurts so much. I was in a sexless marriage for years. Being a woman with a high libido, I felt inadequate. Worst I feel invisible. The man who was “supposed” to want me, just didn’t. We talked about it many times, more than I can recall now. It was always me. I wanted too much - once a week was too much for him. I didn’t initiate - he was always complaining of headaches, stomaches, always stressed, always tired. I was too sexual - when being subtle doesn’t work, what is next? Explicitly saying I wanted sex. Oh but then it was not appropriate. Conversations would end up with him saying he didn’t feel desired or I made him feel emasculated because he didn’t want sex as much as I did. Yeah, it was always me. I could never win. While we were dating we would have a decent amount of sex, it was good. The first huge red flag was not having sex in our honeymoon - which I ignored. It rapidly decrease to once a week, then every other week. Years gone by it was months in between, by the time we divorced it was over a year with no sex. I cried myself to sleep more times that I can count. I didn’t understand what was wrong with me. Was I that undesirable? Was I repulsive? After those conversations, I just stopped trying, initiating, mentioning sex. We were still loving - holding hands, hugging, kissing - but sex was off the table. He then cheated on me. Swore he had sex only 4 times in a year (or more) long affair. It didn’t matter. For years my self worth was damaged by him, years of low self esteem, years of feeling less of a woman, the marriage that was more than over, waiting in hospice, really ended. Funny how things are, I asked him for a divorce, he manipulated me into staying, next day his infidelity came to light. I was out as soon as I could. Best thing of my life. Additionally, That feeling when your partner cheated and you don't have the courage to leave him / her so you just death with the pain and live everyday asking questions about your worth. This pain is different from the cheating one_living and seeing him everywhere anticipating when he or she do it again. The best thing is to hire a private investigator digitalinvestigate@gmail.com to help you spy on their cellphone remotely just like he did for me...
We’ve been married for 38 years n one day about 28 + years ago I said hey i noticed we’re not having sex
He said TYPICAL of NARCS: ITS YOUR FAULT-YOU SAID YOU SEE ME AS a BROTHER
For years I felt guilty but I didn’t feel unattractive asked myself what’s wrong w me it didn’t affect my self esteem because even though he BLAMED me DEEP DOWN MY GUT INSTINCT was screaming: Something is WRONG but I would find out later about his heinous double life
One day out of the blue he said, “it’s not your fault”
My reply, “I know it isn’t”
And we’ve never talked about it again
Do I miss sex?
With him? It was the greatest gift he gave me by “withholding” sex!!!
I try to live by the Bible so I don’t entertain the thoughts of any type of affair
I’ve just compartmentalized that part of my life
Would I like to be sexually active?
One day
For now I’m a sex camel
My friend wants no intimacy it became a punishment for her he'd stonewall ignore and then expect intimacy she wants none of it now it took years of this emotional abuse. She feels nothing now. 🫤
Had a similar situation with my ex. Come to find out, he was soliciting lots of sex from online sites like Craigslist with other guys.
I related to this so much! My ex would use my childhood trauma against me and call me a rapist when I asked for sex.
@@ebonymcneil1875 😢
Ur a saviour to many kids who have no one to turn to ❤❤ God Bless You ❤❤
“Kids” of ALL ages!
Thank you Danish for teaching us that it's not us!
God bless all here, indeed ... 💞🤙🏾😉
narcissists are pro at victim-shaming too.
Yes, they are! They project their own victim mindset onto us.
I have not communicated with my ex for almost 10 years since our divorce. Till now, he continues to send me hate messages whenever he’s raging over something, trying to initiate a new war so that he can vent and blame me for his inadequacies. I do not respond to any of his messages no matter how much he provokes. It’s satisfying to know how he must be seething when he realises he no longer has power over me.
Hugs😢❤
So true. Their betrayal is one of the worst trauma one can experience.
Until recently, I used to see/feel the narc's anger and wonder what I did to deserve this, as if I did something wrong. Now, I feel satisfied knowing that 1) they think I'm better than them 2) they are one less person that I should care or think about 3) I deserve much better than this/them (goodbye and stay away).
Due to your channel dear Danish, I came to know that both my parents are narcs 😢 ... now everything makes sense. Especially why each and every cell of my body feels unwell and wants them to stay away ...
You defeat them because you have an authentic-self (they don´t have one). So you don´t have to do nothing in fact to defeat them you have it into you ...
This is "piece of gold" ! Brilliant! ❤
You are an absolute blessing to so many victims.
I've removed all the fake friends that are narcissists from my life. When I cross paths with a new stranger that is a narcissists I confront them right off the bat. If they try to manipulate and control me I tell them straight to their face that I don't put up with their dumb boring narcissistic games. If I have to defend myself from them physically from getting attacked by them I fight them and I fight to win. And I always do,after I've fought them and won with a little bit of their blood here and a little bit there, they stay very far away from me!!!! Not all of them are fighters I've noticed they just argue, gaslight, manipulate, lie, and insult you criticize you, and start a smear campaig against you. Some do fight but when their getting punched around and knocked down by me they show fear and are quit shocked of what I can do to them if need be!!!! If your not a fighter it's harder to get away from them.🤨😌🤔💪💪👍👍🤸🤸🤸🤸🤸😜
i like your commitment to protecting yourself mentally. physically though, do so sparingly. what is there to gain with these pylons? consider that with narcissists, there is no depth they will stoop to if they feel wronged. especially if they are malignant narcissists which are the most dangerous, because they will resort to serious violence.
not sure how old you are. i am 50. ask yourself, is it worth risking injury if you have a job to go to , a house to pay for, or a wife /kids to support.
you do you, but hopefully you'll give the physical fighting part some thought.
the best revenge is living your best life without them. let karma take care of the rest, because all rotten fruits will eventually fall of the tree.
cheers, steven
Most of the time I made the narcissist mad (my mother) is because I was calling out her hypocrisy and her bs. She'd blow up. I went no contact four of five years ago. I haven't looked back.
Congrats I did the same and narcs despise us because we call them out
I know a handful of narcissist and they all have so many similar personalities. It truly is the love and attention a person gives them that makes them special . Narcissist love is conditional. In realizing I will never reach their expectations I limit what I give and become selective to their negative energy. I feel so free now that I don't feel the need to love people who destroy me. Grateful for your insight Danish Bashir
No contact for almost 2 months now because I don't jump to take his mom to the store.
Thanks Darnish because sometimes I feel bad doing what I am doing. I left when he got violence to me when I was pregnant. I let him back in and he abused me worse. He took me to court to see the child and all he got was facetime contact. And I moved I changed my name and I won't let him back in.
I am so happy😁 I watch your videos everyday because I look forward to your words of wisdom. ❤ You definitely help us to not only survive after the living hell we've escaped, but you are teaching us how to THRIVE. I am feeling stronger everyday. I am thriving now. Thank You Danish 😁
After her ( my mom ) gaslighting me, calling me names , rejecting me, did false accusations against me, did smair campagnes against me.... and i overwon and overcome.... this is the exact stage im in with her.
Long ago I used to try to label them as WALKING MAD, WM. so weird they are, and, unpleasant to partner with as it will all ways always be out of balance, disharminous, lacking ... no growth. Let them all go and don't tell anyone. No one. 🙏
I have been watching Dr. Ramani videos for about a year and they have changed my life. I recently saw your short videos and they resonated with me as well. Thank you for the work that you are doing.❤
Yes, he and his family are very angry with me, in fact we can say they have gone mad with anger.
This is 💯 accurate! And applies to parents as well. Danish you hit the nail on the head!
Thank you so much for your expertise ❤
Wow! That is great news!! Now I understand why they can never deal with a problem in a mature and calm manner!!
After living with this person for 30 plus years I finally realised he is a narcissistic personality. I have been trying to adjust, do whatever I can, waiting for him to realise and change, but no use.
After going through your videos I finally realised the true nature of such people and all that I was going through was exactly what you mentioned. It was hell.
They are very difficult, emotionally immature, fake people who will suck out everything from you and leave you on the verge of nervous breakdown.
Best thing to do is leave them, though it takes a lot of courage and time.
Thank you for your valuable information and suggestions ❤
I AM SO THANKFUL FOR SOMEONE WHO TELLS IT LIKE IT IS. I LIVED THIS ! I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT IT WAS! THANK YOU FOR BEING YOU AND BEING HERE!
So true! More sad when you share a young child and can’t go no contact. Keep up the good work 💪.
Soooooo true. Thank you❤
Something I’ve noticed in narcissists friendships lately how they go on and above to do you a favor or kindness you didn’t ask for only to later pull the “you owe me card.” As if you are expected to be obligated for the choice they made. It was a hard lesson I no longer fall for. Don’t feel badly for other people’s choices. An obligation friendship is not a true friendship.
I just went through this and have pulled all the way back from this friendship! It feels great!
I wondered where the anger over nothing came from.
We wonder the same thing.🤷🏼♀️
Yes it's crazy, my relationship was long distance and we would meet up every few months on a trip. Before the trip we were so excited and happy to see each other, or at least I thought. I know I was looking forward to it because I missed him. Then we would meet up and he never really looked happy and I was very happy. And out of nowhere he would yell at me for the most insignificant things. I'm so sensitive I would cry on the spot and fall into defensive mode. And then I'd be upset the rest of my days with him. Now looking back he wanted to bring me down. That's the only reason I could see ..
Yes.. I have done this finally after suffering continuous abuse of 2years
Thank you Danish.
The reason the narcissist is mad at you because you are disappointing them. Danish say, “Keep disappointing them.”
I will.😊☮️💪
Thanks Doctor Danish ,that's what I have going through for 23 years
How can u treat an Narcissist
I am emotional now. Hopefully this litter community comment section can comfort me that I'm not the only one alone that suffer from Narcissist's betrayed family that I always loyal and trust. I hope I not the only one to lose my youth and prime because of stupidity Narcissist abuse. I'm always know somebody in this world that life is much worsen to moving on than me.
You are definitely not alone. And you're not crazy. And you're not wrong. Or any of the other things the narcissist said. Danish has formed a great community where we get information, support, understanding, and help. Best wishes on your road to healing.💖
You give the WHY concerning anything that happens with the narcissist and thereby empower us to see the situations that bring up their behavior for ourselves. Narcs do not like it when we figure them out. The advantage then goes to us in the conflict.
Mine said I don’t deserve him. I said to him, yr right, I deserve better
could you address the narcissistic neighbor and to how to handle their abuse of the legal system?
I'm sure there would be a lot of people who can relate - whether they live in houses, condos, apartments, mobile homes, or wherever.
A thought that came to me was to not antagonize the neighbor. Just stay in your own lane. Follow the rules and ignore them.
We had a neighbor once who called the police on my sister because, preparing for the street sweeper that day, drove her car up onto the front lawn. To do so meant she had to drive up their driveway apron (we didn't have a driveway) and over a tiny spot of "their" grass. A section maybe 3'x3'. The neighbor was threatening to have her fined, or arrested, or whatever they do, claiming that she was "squatting". Meaning using a portion of their land without permission. The police officer called our house and I had to take the message. After explaining, the officer told me that the neighbor was basically being a jerk but it was in his rights to have this "concern" so they'd have to come out the next time he called.
Overreacting much??!! But they can be unreasonable and vicious. Just keep yourself and your family safe and stay within your rights while being respectful of his. Good luck!
Nice if they want something or snotty rage. The two speeds of the jealous, angry, aggressive narcissist.
Thank you
Mine says your happiness is making me miserable and I enjoy making him miserable. 30 years and still going. It's hard to cut ties with someone you ❤️ love.he says I'm better than him because I believe in God my savoir. He says he puts in 90 percent when I put in 10 percent. I'm disabled and sometimes I might complain about pain then he says oh now you're going to play my disability card.the devil is using him to break me but through God's grace ,glory and holiness I will carry on. ❤
Thank you for sharing🙏
This is my favorite channel ❤
Thank you. This was a video that really hit some important aspects of my experience. Hugely appreciated!
YUP…FOR SURE.
Keep strong everyone and keep learning.
You will see that things will get better.
Take the time need to learn and 1 day at a time.
Be diligent
Thank you Danish.
God bless you.
From Cynthia in JANESVILLE, WISCONSIN USA
My ex husband changed the email on his mortgage that I’m paying for because I posted that I was happy on Facebook . He’s trying to let it go into foreclosure just to hurt me. The funny thing is, is that’s it’s totally in his name and it won’t hurt my credit if it does. He currently can’t afford a $4,000 tag on a $30k vehicle he bought. What an idiot lol!
6:34 - can you tell us more about „closing those cracks“ that no more narcissist can attack you
Thank you for helping us
You know, at some point you don't even want to defeat them. Just set boundaries and stay away from them.
Always on point ❤
The saddest thing for me was how she would send me Instagram memes on how I looked up toxic and found out I'm the one who toxic and I'm like if you know this why are you putting me Thur this
The venom that got out of my narc mother in law said it all. No more..... goodbye narc.
Thanks 👍
Gone no contact with my narc mother 97 for 8 months now .
Love 💕 you brother
True....
YIPPEEEEEE poor thing
Not true!
When you make them angry then all that happens is it's 'proof' that their behavior is justified and they turn the heat up even more, to new levels of depravity that they themselves didn't know they were capable of.
They then reason within themselves that their behavior is completely justified because you're so low in society that no law enforcement/court/law/rule applies to the narcissist because they're doing societies work by bulling you.
I've got 6 narcissists over the years so angry that they each and every one of them would have felt justified in murdering me. One time I lost 3 teeth.
All you have to do to get them there is really simple. I don't recommend it because every time I was blamed for the narcissists behavior including by police.
If you must do it for whatever reason, you have to stay calm.
Accuse them of doing something that they have actually done in front of impartial witnesses. ie if they are family violence perpetrators ask them if they have bashed their wife lately?
Another case, if in the workplace and you're sick of their BS and you want a Pyrrhic victory (because it WILL cost you more than the narcissist), start by disagreeing with them, then ask them for their help in resolving the situation, then disagree again, repeat. Each time watch them and keep feeding their rage like wood in a fire by disagreeing, asking, disagreeing, asking, disagreeing. When they're starting to lose it say "I've already asked you 5x (or whatever) for assistance, I'm still waiting." When they scream they have given a solution say, "No you haven't."
How they go over the edge is when they're in that state and they make a demand you say 'NO'. Every time without fail they flip out.
One time paramedics had to be called because the narcissist passed out. Turns out he had a heart issue and is now waiting for a transplant (I pity the poor person's family who's loved one has died to save this miserable sod). That is a very true story.
I got in so much trouble from my employer for this incident it was amazing but I stood my ground. Fortunately for me the request the narcissist was making was ridiculous - he told me to push by myself a wet 350kg tarp 50m across a warehouse floor for giggles. It was an unreasonable request and I'm not doing it. I pointed out that my boss was the narcissist's enabler, which was perfectly true - then my boss started on me.
I just said, Do you really want to go there because I'm up for it?"
As a victim you either have to bend over and take it or taunt them and bend over and take it. Either way you're getting sodomized. I choose the latter for at least I feel better about standing up to them but it has cost me big time in every case.
Bread crumbling.
Thank you for doing this video today I will be forever working on myself, but I’m going to live life too. 😭 man, looking back Danish makes me emotional because it’s just so personal, never mind having your child experience it. I appreciate you so much for your journey and who you are, how honest you are, and having gone through this it’s just indescribable about it all. I’m just speechless and pray that others can find out quicker than I did about this evil behavior and person. I hope I haven’t missed out on important things because I didn’t understand yet, and if I did I pray that God won’t count me out just yet. Man, I’m giving you a big hug from CA 🥲
Is there a chance for salvation for them , at all ? Or a demon needs to be cast out
👏👏👏👏😁the story of my life
Wow !
Thank You so so much. I needed to hear this today
🎉
What a bunch of hogwash crap.😂
Abusers are indeed full of shiz
Facts, facts, facts 💯💯🎯
"Narcissists see your success as their personal failure." 🔥🔥 Chillingly true!
Exactly! The truth is that narcissists are full of fears and lies. "Keep doors closed forever and focus on your own healing" is the best option to break free 🙏🏻
“Keep those doors closed forever” Danish
Facts
Sometimes narcs get angry just for fun they feed on it & feel the center of the universe
Hi my name is Klarissa. I had a partner tha didn't want me to be successful and my own mother doesn't want me be successful. My mother is very negative and the rest of family is as well. They partake in my suffering, and they think if they don't help me, I won't succeed in life. These are some very evil individuals. And thank you for the video, your video helped me.
My parents do the same in fact they never help do anything but they'll break their necks for my older siblings...it's like they want me begging them so they can brag what they do for me .....now I just don't deal eith them at all..idk if they are narcissist or just plain assholes but either way I feel your pain
@@josephvillines9766 Thanks for sharing. It really helps me to push forward. When other people can relate.
My parents also go out of their way to help my older siblings.
I had to find out the hard way. My family members do the most to be a**holes. Just flat out evil, but I have overcome with God on my side.
Dude she's been in a perpetual rage fit for 7 years
😂
My narcissistic mom has been in that state for 24 years and continuing
She openly said she will continue for another 24 years and more
@@Cajanaki peace and love to you
Ignore her
5 years for my narc ex 😂
That's so true wow 😲 !
I received a mail with only negative content. My response was “ thanks for your Email, I have read it 3 times and closed it with a smile. When this is your feeling I wish you luck with your new supply and be happy you will not receive any negative energy from me”. After that I blocked here and all related people. Also I deleted all pictures and messages from here. This to protect myself
The EXACTLY right response!🎯
Thank you for recontexturalizing this for us. Modeling how to replace fear and defeat with victory! ❤❤❤🎉
It's a pyrrhic victory. When you say the family needs a change of heart and someone says do you mean ME! The anger is contagious in which this jealous narcissist triggers you to be as lonely as them. They are the ultimate in selfish and selfish doesn't understand relationships.
My mom fired me then comes over and pays my bills to “help” me
This is such a good example 😮
My mother used to say exactly that!!!!
He moved to another supply like a leach he is. Feel sorry for that new supply. He called me a foolish woman, crazy woman and mad woman because I rejected his abuse and blocked him. He abandoned his child and has zero bond with his child and doesn't care. He doesn't pay child support and I don't expect too anyway. I happily raise my kids alone and support them financially with their fathers in their life. I am happy am independent and raising my kids in a healthy environment without drama but peace and drama free zone. It's 100% better to raise kids as a single parent than raising those kids with a narcissist.
Leech
You need therapy. You’re a baby mama with different fathers and you think you’re better than the last guy you chose to have a kid with? You picked him! What does that say about you?
@dcg59😅😅you too personal
I watch for two reasons.
1. You are amazing while helping us connects the dots and find answers.
2. The backgrounds! Your house has so much color on the walls and it’s different in each room and to be honest, it lets us get to know you too!
i enjoy his t-shirts and cat too!
True True True True True True True True True I feel hurt in my heart. whenever I get my answer from you danish.
There is no end to the trouble narcissists cause and Danish expresses it so well in an impassioned way.
no sane person would spend their time,emotional energy and life to defeat a narcissist.Personally,i do not play power games,win,lose,defeat games contrary to what the narcissist might think.I am authentic and i do not care to win over any person,esp.narcissists
I just don't care anymore and will get even by getting what I can out of this..just like him.
I am starting my journey to free myself, thanks for confirming that I am not the one with the issue, all your videos hit home and help keep me sane. Keep up the good work!
Wish me luck.
Thank you! 💜💪🏾
Yessss! Thats right and true and they should know when they are truly defeated Amen 🙏💗
They lose their cool very easily, mighten they just try to relax and come down to earth, a tad, on their own, can't have that, mere mortals acting like mere mortals, perish the thought!
Thank you for your messages. They are very helpful. During my recovery from a narc ex husband of 27 years, my son married a narc wife. They have 4 children. It has broken my heart as to how those children are treated. I had to also step away as she had become very abusive to me. Now I no longer can see my grandkids. I miss them terribly, but my mental health is much better. I wish there was a better solution.
What about narcissists being hypochondriasis?
Thank you so much for this video! I needed to hear this particular message just now!
Every time my ex takes me back to court it's because he's still trying to "win". There's no winning and losing in relationships except when you realize that you are worth while and you can close the door on your past. In a true give and take relationship there's no good guys or bad guys.
I see you are trying to tell us what is happening when they get mad and you wonder what is making them feel that way. They see you as winning so that you are living your path and not theirs through their manipulation. I can navigate and know I am the right path for me if the narcissists is no longer pleased in the interaction with me! Thanks.
I,just passed my x-narc,and he was pissed 😭!
This thing with the predatory is sooo true..
I experienced it multiple times with my mother.
I have been in no contact for a month now. Still I got some glimpses from her through my sister recently.
This is a real thing!
Refreshing to have a psychologist instead of talking head help us navigate through
but what if they kill me
Thank you, Danish. Not only do you do a great job educating, empowering, validating us but I read the comments. Bless you for giving us a forum to know we are not alone. In addition to cutting out narcs, seeing early red flags, and other indicia keeps us from the confusion and shame we used to experience. Now that we know, it is shocking to see how many narcs are all around us. Forwarned is forearmed!
Great thing to know....thank you Danish. When they are angry at me...I won. I have to learn this, because they will intentionally do things, say things, just to be angry at me, all the time. And bring in their toxic cult group...and they help with the nit picking, telling me God wants you to do this and that. As if their Ego's are now God, lol. I will learn to appreciate it when they are angry....and disconnect and go on my way, doing good things without them being involved.
I keep wondering how I became ill with pneumonia and hospitalized for nearly a month. She keeps throwing that up to me and boo hooing about it and I ask her why. I remember the experience. Believe it or not, they're happy memories. I temember the burses carrying me around the hospital instead of just letting me lay in the crib all day. I remember it was also because I kept crawling out of my crib. They even put a net over it, but I figured out how to crawl out of it anyway. I remember and knew they took me to the nurses lounge because I remember a huge wall mural with 7:30 cherubs painted on it. Mom is always trying to "boo hoo" how mean the doctor was to me and how I had to be in the hospital away from her... I shut her down saying why did she keep trying to instead all of these bad memories when I only have good, fun memories. Her wimpering abruptly stops and her mad..actually evil face sets in because she can't play out her supposed hurt/dismay. There had to have been a reason to cause me harm at such depth in order for her to garnish sympathy...and continue to try to garnish it to this day....I'm 73 yrs old. She's 93. And, no, she 's not senile. She's been doing this ever since I can remember to try to put me into "damaged and I had/have to care for you " mode. She ' really looses often and sreams out, "She's mine! She belongs to me!"
I believe they are sadistic because they are soul sick and controlled by demons. I am not giving them a free pass because i believe they have accepted this path. Its like the saying " Do you feed the good wolf or bad wolf?" They have made the decision to feed the bad... Tbe person i was involved with , I could feel his suffering, and he made me suffer. I could feel the low vibration and I felt fear around him and i didn't know why. Now i know why, he enjoys my pain and despair and discomfort. Very dangerous people