Hi Danish! Thanks for empowering us & to aware us regarding this traumatic bonding.... but one thing which em really in concern with that can a narcissist help himself out or any other close to him or her can help them out...coz it feels bad at the same time that y they have became narcissist due to some lackness of parenting or mistreating in their past or child abuse... can't we help them out so further they can live normally in their life? My ex husband was a narcissist & literally Ur videos helped me out Alhamdulillah but at the same time I felt sorry for him...for his losS...for his traumatic era either!!!! Waiting for Ur valuable words. Regards: Your Well-wisher.
Narcissists hate you because you do not worship their "greatness" and you only want your own identity and no one else's. They hate that you have your own voice.
Exactly. Narcissists hate and envy your perseverance because the truth is that deep inside they're cowards, fear them not, stand your ground and trust your own self. Thank you, Danish 🙏🏻
Interesting perspective. The crazy thing is they try to break you down and convince you that you need them and make you feel guilty when you try to leave. Bottom line: they hate that you aren't like them!
The truth is that they aren't successful. But even more bitter truth is that they never try to become successful. They don't use their money, they don't have hobbies, they are just self absorbed and addicted to some stupid thing. The biggest punishment they end up giving themselves is they never learn to live or use the resources they have. These dumb asses just passes down all their assets to their next generation without buying anything that improves their statuses and live their whole life in a rat hole.
a narcissist's worst nightmare is an educated empath. the gig is up at that point. in an attempt to run away from themselves, they'll discard you quickly. but you'll know the truth. and they'll hate you for it. which will trigger the narc's biggest fear (after exposure to others and being discovered): abandonment. it's quite ironic, because narcissists create their own abandonment problems due to their own monstrous behaviour. cheers from southern ontario, canada 🍁
Believe me, not all of them leave. Some of them, like my husband, does not leave or even threaten with it anymore. He is just scared, although they hide it. When you detach completely even if still living with him give him his biggest fear. I am so healed that I don’tneed to be divorced on papers. I have no plan to remarry after 32 years of marriage, so I chose to spare my grown up sons from the nuclear explosion he would make a divorce to be. I live as I please!!! And it scares the hell out of him.
Again, clear, concise and true. A tongue in cheek summation is the narcissist needs you to be more broken than they are. That also represents their inverted style of thinking. If you are more broken than they are, then they are better.
This is very true. They fake supportiveness to get you to confide in them about your struggles in life, even claiming to have similar struggles so you feel understood; all so they can feel superior.
Thank you Danish! I was in a marriage with a narc for 20 years. When i decided to leave, he became insane. And even now, after FOUR long years later, i know and get his anger through his texts that he HATES that i got back to my real ME, which was completely extinct for that long period because of my love to him. He hates my independence and he hates that i am just simply ME and that i am happy without him. Such a relief!😇
And yes!! So true! I said to my narcissist, I was born without you, I survived life, and if you think I need you you're mistaken. He shut up and gave me silent treatment. And I slept like a baby.
Yes my x husband of 25 yrs. Called me The unsinkable Molly Brown !!! An alcoholic, narcissist, high functioning that made life a living Hell for our 3 children & myself. He passed away from bone cancer. I've been in AL Al Anon and a Christian. Thank You Danish, yes may healings begin for victims of abuse.🎉
A covert narcissist may respond in a variety of ways when discovered, depending on the particular circumstance and the person. When their behavior is criticized, a covert narcissist may occasionally become aggressive or defensive and reject or abdicate responsibility for their actions. They might try to gaslight the person who exposed them by getting them to doubt their own sense of truth or perspective. Narcissists frequently employ this strategy to keep control of the relationship. In other situations, a covert narcissist could act more violently or aggressively in an effort to retake control or establish dominance. They could try to control or intimidate the person who has exposed them, or they might lash out with abusive language or actions. A covert narcissist may also retreat or isolate themselves if their actual nature is discovered. They might make an effort to separate themselves from the person who exposed them or try to avoid any sort of conflict. Being masters of manipulation, narcissistic people frequently possess a special ability for charm, which allows them to get away with manipulating others. They might be able to beguile people into believing they are not actually narcissists and convince them that they are to blame. The process of exposing a covert narcissist may be extremely taxing and even dangerous, so it’s vital to keep that in mind. It’s crucial to exercise prudence and have a solid support network in place, including friends, family, and a therapist. You can process your experience and develop a strategy for dealing with the circumstance in a secure and healthy manner with the aid of a therapist or counselor. Additionally I hired a private detective Barryinvestigation@gmail. com. Once I knew what the narc was up to, it got easier to get over that lying, cheating, sack of doo doo, loser. I didn’t need closure from the narc, I paid for it. Best money I EVER spent!
My narcissistic boss constantly follows me complaining trying to get me to react I simply just say oh I see and walk away fast to get back to my work , I’m not gonna let anyone make me lash out and scream I’ll just do what I came there to do I’m on the clock I don’t have time to hear random complaining about myself all day this is why I don’t get close to bosses cuz the closer and friendlier you get with them the more they feel they can come at you sideways .
Just curious, why do you consider someone who complains to you as being a narcissist. Because I'm pretty sure that alone doesn't make someone a narcissist at all.
The narc in my life this week told me, life would be better if i just stop communicating and having opinions. Id be ok if i nod, and smile when he lectures.
Wow this is entirely true. Whenever I would go to work, my abuser would verbally abuse me and hit me. But I would come back from work happy and peaceful, and it would enrage him. when I wouldn’t see my abuser for days, because I needed time to recollect myself and when I would, and work on myself, he would look upset and I couldn’t understand why. After watching this video it confirms, that he was upset that I was resilient to the abuse and continued to preserve despite the depression and pain I was feeling inside. That whenever he saw me, I didn’t look like a defeated shell that gave up on themselves..
Oh wow! This is so true! Oh he tried as hard as he could. He tried to the day he died and I took about 5 years, but I am doing amazing. I had told him face to face, you don't love me, you need me. I made him admit it. Boy I paid for that one, but my light is bright as a star!
This video makes me feel like I'm not alone in my personal kill bill movie. If anyone has not seen that movie. I highly recommend. It'll make you believe in yourself to survive.
I've had a rash on my hands my whole life more or less,53 years. He used to taunt me about it,saying it was my life's work. Since I decided to go no contact with my dad a few weeks back my hands have completely healed up!! I think it was a physical expression of my distress.
You are absolutely correct I had a restaurant with my violent ex It was mainly my idea but he took most of the credit aided and abetted by my mother When l ran away with the children he closed the business because he couldn't cope even although my mother and he stayed home he knew every aspect of the business including what a great cook he was He could boil an egg if he had to I bought another business which was successful I always felt in my inner core l would not let him bully me or the children I would stand up to him which he did not like and if he tried to stop me doing something eg read a book l would find a way to do it so he wouldn't know Not bad for someone who was always told how stupid they were I occasionally see him now and he tells me how wonderful l am I just think it is great hoe much l have improved since l left!!! It's a miracle?!!
They can't stay alone and are very very miserable and their jokes are dry and lack of humour. Am staying alone forever and very happy being alone and peaceful drama free 😌
It's a shame that becomes our only choice be alone or be with a demon creature. Maybe you will meet a genuine person, but the odds are you won't. It will just be another demon creature.
That’s EXACTLY the wording I used! He hates me for being me (even though, that’s what made his life easy, tasty, aesthetically pleasing, welcoming, functional, etc.) and his malignant narc mom also hated me just for being me, because it revealed her for being her- miserable, a bully, mean spirited, condescending. My nice qualities were such an obvious contrast to hers and she hated how obvious it was to everyone.
He's ended up in a homeless shelter here in Mexico where I live. He brought it all on himself. Karma in action. I have compassion but I won't save him this time. He tried to destroy everything good in my life. He failed. No matter how much he begs, I'm done! Terminado and it's so freeing 🙏
Parent, Relatives, Love life, Friends, seen it all.. Can write a book on life now. I will rise up again. Coz I've nothing to ask or expect from anyone. I pray God for all these experiences that is shaping me up. 🙏 I truly realise that there are people in pain and suffering. And I won't let my life go in vain. Not anymore. Time to take charge..
Thank You so much! I never thought of myself as having resilience or perseverance...until I thought back on how my mom or ex tried to demean me and I always pushed back because I knew deep down inside what that were saying about me...Was Not True!
Guilt destroys anyone from within.. Same applies to a narc but the problem is they have unresolved guilt - the bad things they did to others. Hence they continue to being bad from within as they themselves cannot forgive what they have done to others..
I have narcissist in my family....I thought I was until I understood the difference between narcissistic traits and narcissistic personality...the traits are used by empaths as a defense mechanism against narcissistic behavior however it could affect your relationships with others
I've posted on so many of Danish's videos about all the crappy things my narc ex did. I'm going to keep it short and sweet this time. This video resonated with me and my "experience" from beginning to end. I'm glad I was too hard for that crazy a-hole to handle! That's what saved me! Danish, you rock!
Yep!!!.... That was me. But I left, and took my 2 kids and we developed a much more peaceful lifestyle. The abuse, the crulity and the mental torcher are gone. And now my children and I have learnt to move on with our lives.
Biggest thing my ex narc hated about me was when I was happy and content. I remember- after we bought our dream house he asked what else I wanted.. I told him, nothing, I have gotten all I wanted in my life. His face kind of twisted and dropped. One and a half year later I left him because he no longer bothered to hide his cheating. We sold the house but, without him, I am even happier than before!
Today i came to knew clearly why he hates me nowadays to the core.He always trying to break that perseverance and reslience making me to.fight back with him .He wantedly pushing me to that situations.Making unnecessary comversations.Now he says he changed and what more to change ..xome Lets go and meet the therpist
So true. I am such a feisty woman. I am very independent and strong and resilient. He used to comp about this of me. He would constantly tell me how everyone hated me that he was the only one that loved. Bull dung. You hit every single point perfectly. Thank you. I did finally got rid of him. I am much happier now without him. He did the same to his first wife that ended in divorce. He blamed her. And he did the same to his second wife. She died after 35 years with him. Of cancer. But as anyone that is on the medical field knows that extreme stress like this can cause severe health conditions. After 4 years separated he also died and I am still alive and well and happier than ever. NARCY good riddance.
He truly resented my ability to be authentic and he made it sound like he was some kind of martyr for being so fake while i was privileged or something for having the strength and bravery to be myself and transparent
They can’t stand it if you draw boundaries with them. The narcissist thrives on shameless behavior and their codependent’s desire to accept it. Draw boundaries and watch how they counterattack.
I WAS self reliant and independent. Over the 12 years with him I was housebound for the last 2. I left the end of 2023 and am having to live with my parents at age 34. I feel absolutely awful about myself and my life. I have already come a long way in 6 months but still far from being independent. Arghhhhhhhh I HATE that he took myself away from me and I'm only just seeing it. I was a shell of myself and still am to a degree. I feel like a burden right now and I NEED to sort my self out asap. I hate myself because of what I let happen and become of me.
Please don't hate yourself. If someone you trusted manipulated you it is him who should be hated.Moreover,its acceptable in India to stay with parents.It can be considered acceptable in your condition too. Take time to heal.Its ok.Take your time.God will be with you.😊❤
Oh, very insightful video, indeed, it came in the right moment, to clarify the whole thing about the narcissistic behavior towards empathetic people who suffer even for decades such a hideous and cruel abuse!!! Thank you so much Danish, you are heaven sent!!! 🙏🙏🙏
Wow....l am getting this as l am ending a relationship with a man who presented an entirely different person and when we got married, he almost killed my life for 14 years.
I cant believe that I could reason to this. I always wondered how and why. He didnt earn, yet was jealous of my success in interviews. I slowly stopped discussing about my offers yet didnt realize something like this could.be beneath the mask. Yet he has the audacity to demand for money and say that he sacrificed his dreams for me while the fact was that he couldnt find work. His career, his business attempts were all failures. My mind is blowing out how did I not see through this and just cried, blamed and tried to kill myslef too. He drove me to self harm yet never stopped me when I was hurting myself right infront of his eyes. When I dared to ask him why did he not stop me he didnt have an answer. I took medicines, therapies and was tangled in this loop where he kills my self respect, my confindence, I struggle, cry, suffer and see hell each day but stand back on 11th day. Again he would crush me. I was fed up of this loop but couldnt see through it. Thank ypu Danish! I may be falling prey again bcoz I knkw pretty well I have a long way to heal. But this may help me stand back on 8th or 9th day than 11th. Thank you for making these videos!
You can not see what you are not aware of. If you had been the same as him, using people, you would have recognized it but you are not like him. Give yourself grace and compassion. We learn as we experience along the way💙
@@Sadbuttrue-ThatSwedishGirl you are so right, I had no reason to think he was a deceitful liar cause all I wanted was him, I tried to see all the good him even when there was none, he constantly made up lies about me. Even now he wins because I am too broken to even think of being with anyone else, I truly loved him
@@JadaGatesI hear you as I felt the same. Why did I not see him coming??? But our good light within us blinds us and we fall in love unwittingly to a lie and if we have never encountered a narc personality previously we just don’t know that we should AVOID AT ALL COST. I’ve chalked it down to life experience, I feel that little bit wiser and now know what to look out for in the future. I wish the same for you. #WarriorsRule #WeAllDeserveTrueLoveAndHappiness 💟☮️🕉️
@@DK.448 thank you! You are absolutely right and thank you for your encouragement! I am so broken by this And I don’t think I will ever recover I just need to learn to live with it
@@JadaGates I absolutely know how you feel. But sweetheart YOU WILL RECOVER AND YOU WILL FIND TRUE LOVE / SOULMATE. You just need to find / remember the strong woman that you were before you met the narc. That woman is worthy of love and is worthy of a good life. You owe it to yourself. You will only get the one life. Through this terrible experience you’ve just come through, the future is going to be brighter because you’re wiser, stronger, smarter, you’re a warrior and you don’t want anyone wasting your time again. Jada, If I can survive and thrive, that light still shines in you, waiting to shine brighter than before. I wish you the very best in love and in life. Stay 💪 and believe in yourself. 🤗💟☮️🕉️ #RememberWhoYouWere.
My adult daughter (in mid thirties)has made my life a hell on earth-but I am trying hard to help myself and stay focused. Thank you so much Danish for educating us!
7:05 with Narcspouse, his own Narcdad knew by saying, "What's the matter?! You look nervous!" it would throw a wrench in the mechanics of his son's crafted fascade. For this and other dismaying reasons, extended family visits were always interesting, to say the least. ...Glad they are ALL OVER!!
It feels wonderful to listen to this, Danish! I feel like someone is on my side by attributing things to me that they try desperately to take away. It feels like love when someone is on my side vs all the people in my life who hate me because of something wrong with them.
I’m having a hard time. I have had a relationship with a man who has narcissistic traits and is a forever, beer drinking alcoholic. You are helping me so much and I thank you so much. I have a psychiatrist. I have a daughter who was diagnosed a long time ago with bipolar disorder. However, she too shows signs of Antisocial tendencies. She lies just like she tells the truth. Many more (horrible to live with) symptoms. Between the two of them is me. I’m a depressed person and have been. 68 now, on antidepressants, for decades. I try to respond with your very good advice. Like not gettin emotional, and I’m getting better. But, I do feel like my brain is mush, and I know my relationship with him has caused me all kinds of problems. My 2 daughters and I live together. My oldest is the one who has terrible symptoms of more serious than bipolar. My youngest daughter and I try to have each other’s back and absolutely no other person knows how bad this is. Sorry so long. Thank you for helping me through all this. ❤
Dear Mr. Bashir, Sooooo tru your summary with key-points! As I'm fighting, since years, against an abusive (hélas, also sexual abuse...) ex-therapist, from Louvain( an old man now, has got tree marriages + children (hallo?!); notwithstanding still trying to intervene in my TOP-private life! Me living in Brussels! Thanks to many publications concerning this criminal abuse, I try to resist! Your brief and clear summary is only a confirmation concerning these horrible manipulations! ALL the best for YOU!
This is so spot on. All your videos have really helped me work through how things are with me and my son’s father. He can’t stand that I am alright after his affair and our split. I truly hope that he somehow can find peace through God or something because I know he is miserable. While he acknowledges what he did he can’t accept that what he did was as hurtful and undeserving of reconciliation as it is. It’s wild the emotional rollercoaster he tried to keep me on.
I embedded my name in his life with lots of respect that he cannot do anything without remembering me in his life. When I realized the relationship wasn’t going anywhere, I’ve made up my mind and I became resilient and left him suddenly without a word. Till now it still hurts him cause I went no contact that drives him crazy knowing I’ve moved on. 😂😂😂😂
My narc did the same to me. He knows I am charming so people whether they like me or not will surround me. He told them all that i latched onto him and that he didn't care for me so no one will talk to me.
I know what that thing is. In my case I figured out that he wants to be me, or any girl. When guys would pay attention to me he’d get so mad. Not because he was jealous but because he didn’t get the attention. (he had 0 friends) Weird I know
Danish may I suggest a topic? I’ve watched the majority of yours and other channels on narcissism. But I’ve yet to find a video made for people who don’t understand a narcissist relationship. Almost like a guide or introductory video into what goes on and the damage these types of relationships cause to people who might not understand that dynamic. Like a video a person who’s suffering from this relationship would show a friend or family to explain what they are experiencing. Just a suggestion. Love your content!
You are just amazing! I like the way you explain the process and give examples of how that Narcissist operates from a psychological perspective. Also, what they hope to accomplish. In retrospect, it’s laughable. However, your points of reference is helpful in understanding the Narcissist and what to look for. Most importantly, recognizing the Narcissist’s true intentions! They are so ridiculously weak. I’ll definitely will be able to identify them moving forward! The first was Discarded and I never even knew that he was a Narcissist until someone said bought to my attention. I’m grateful for that Discarded. Blocked for life!
Thank you Danish. Bless you for all the help and wisdom you impart to those of us trying to heal from this situation. My mother has endstage cancer and I know it is a complex web of things I’m experiencing-namely guilt for thinking it will likely be freeing to not have to deal with all the monkey-mind complexities. Still , I will miss other things and am already facing much sadness about all the hurt and disappointment that she never really wanted the best for me. Her jealousy made her cruel, cunning and corrosive. I spent my whole life thinking it (whatever “it” even was or is) was my fault, and that I deserved such treatment. I am also filled with pity for the shell of a person she is. I love her and am grateful she gave me life. But the scarring is real and deep. …..so much sadness all around….I hope to join a support group for survivors of narcissistic abuse. Again, thank you for the real-life-holy work you are doing.💜☮✝☮💜
Every video I watch it’s like you lived in my house 40 years he distorted me I stayed for the children culture shame then he walked out because I started to Spk out I’m at peace now if he hadn’t walked out I would have died living this was he did me the biggest favour financially I’m in a bad state but free 🙏🏼
This is 100% correct. Everything you said I have experienced. Thank you so much. It is so good to hear someone but into words exactly what I was expecting. I am so grateful. You’re helping me to heal I didn’t know there were people out there going through what I was going through.
He can’t control me . I told him I have principle in life and that is not to cross my boundaries . He said to me , I knew it , I knew it , you will be the one to finish me.
By the time you realise ,they are evil, and are actively abusing you...its too late,because they've already convinced family you're either crazy or bad .... I
Mine just blurted out out of the bue one day - I could have gone to college Annie (his mother's sister) told me she'd pay for it. Here's the kicker -- he was 85 a years old at the time, I was 62!! I paid for it and graduated college. I as per usual looked at him with a blank stare and no verbal or physical response. He was actually trying to bully me while low key saying You're nothing special because you went to college. Lol Can you imagine trying to be an 85 year old bully? How horrible is that!
Just WOW... I recently found out last year (through one of your vids) the true scope of what and who I was dealing with. Dr. Danish, I am forever grateful.
Agree with all except for the “inherited business.” So many narcissists inherit $, businesses, they didn’t earn or build yet wield as if the $ is BC they are superior/so great.
Tysm,Danish I honestly feel so much better after watching this becus u spoke my entire life past few months..and i have been mistreated a lot.mostly spiritually i was attacked by this narcissist and she destoryed me so much from her envy bcus i always was kind to her no matter what and she hated me for who i was..made me question my own reality..seeing this i gained self trust,worth cus past few days i started self doubting my talents,gifts and its really hard still..
i lost my inner self,my spiritual abilities and everything but now.after seeing all of this im damn sure im proud of myself...for exactly being the way u defined me from the vid
They are truly disordered individuals. The rules that normally apply in relationships will never apply to them. Please, if youve gotten out, DO NOT go back
4:27 My one narc bro has "become" ano malignant despotic despicable narc bro. He was "God" to him since childhood. ano same narc sis is "God" to all narc family members . She was demon to me since childhood. I was born in a narc family of 11. I remember being confused at around 12 yrs . I mean no harm I want best for all . Why this happening to me ? Narc mum wud take her frustrations out on me and beat me. I'd go outside alone hide and cry. Dog wud smell n come to me. I'd cry n complain to our dog. I'd cry and say mum hit me _______ . Mum hit me ______. Dog was whimpering. He was sympathizing .
Thankyou Danish! This is one of the best descriptions of all we go through as well as who we are vs what they are… who they are is what 😢 what they do and expect you to believe. Please don’t believe this nonsense. It is more than surface… they will make you absolutely sick and absorb everything that THEY are. They want you to be them and them you.💜🙏⚔️🗣️ Remember, YOU.
We can change and find solace in our own company, we still can grow up and rise from ashes We can become self sufficient, they will, probably, never do it.. Why and what for to change if they are already perfect?
Overcome Betrayal After Narcissistic Abuse:
www.emotionalabuserecovery.com/livevent
Hi Danish!
Thanks for empowering us & to aware us regarding this traumatic bonding.... but one thing which em really in concern with that can a narcissist help himself out or any other close to him or her can help them out...coz it feels bad at the same time that y they have became narcissist due to some lackness of parenting or mistreating in their past or child abuse... can't we help them out so further they can live normally in their life?
My ex husband was a narcissist & literally Ur videos helped me out Alhamdulillah but at the same time I felt sorry for him...for his losS...for his traumatic era either!!!!
Waiting for Ur valuable words.
Regards: Your Well-wisher.
Narcissists hate you because you do not worship their "greatness" and you only want your own identity and no one else's. They hate that you have your own voice.
Narcissists hate independent, resourceful,happy people
Especially independent people who are capable of asking for help on their own if they need it.
They are miserable people who feel even worse when there are happy people around them.
@nolaspeaker5656 Exactly! The only way those miserable people can be happy with themselves is if they are making others suffer.
@jodizellmer994 That's not actually happiness though, it's just relative happiness.
You nailed it!! 👍
They pretend that they are living a happy life while wanting you to live miserably.
This really sums up the whole experience
Thats because they are painfully empty inside and even amidst their worst abuse they know you will always be full and have light in you.
I'll have what you're having thanks, well done! 😊
@@yuu_miranoh touché and that's probably what makes them so angry 😠 they weren't the ones making us so happy in the 1st place!
Right. They don't experience true joy.
I am really surprised how a person can live with this much hatred in his/her heart.…. Living in this state is the biggest punishment itself!!
Yes. That's why in my opinion they should be pitied, not hated. You can't fight hate with hate.
Exactly. Narcissists hate and envy your perseverance because the truth is that deep inside they're cowards, fear them not, stand your ground and trust your own self. Thank you, Danish 🙏🏻
They are figuratively made of glass. I wish everyone who experienced severe narcissistic abuse is able to realise this truth.
Interesting perspective. The crazy thing is they try to break you down and convince you that you need them and make you feel guilty when you try to leave. Bottom line: they hate that you aren't like them!
The truth is that they aren't successful. But even more bitter truth is that they never try to become successful. They don't use their money, they don't have hobbies, they are just self absorbed and addicted to some stupid thing. The biggest punishment they end up giving themselves is they never learn to live or use the resources they have. These dumb asses just passes down all their assets to their next generation without buying anything that improves their statuses and live their whole life in a rat hole.
And what’s really crazy is when they are the one who left you and they STILL do this, wanting u to come crying back
They hate your success, capability to make good friends and popularity
a narcissist's worst nightmare is an educated empath. the gig is up at that point. in an attempt to run away from themselves, they'll discard you quickly.
but you'll know the truth. and they'll hate you for it.
which will trigger the narc's biggest fear (after exposure to others and being discovered): abandonment.
it's quite ironic, because narcissists create their own abandonment problems due to their own monstrous behaviour.
cheers from southern ontario, canada 🍁
Believe me, not all of them leave. Some of them, like my husband, does not leave or even threaten with it anymore. He is just scared, although they hide it. When you detach completely even if still living with him give him his biggest fear.
I am so healed that I don’tneed to be divorced on papers. I have no plan to remarry after 32 years of marriage, so I chose to spare my grown up sons from the nuclear explosion he would make a divorce to be. I live as I please!!! And it scares the hell out of him.
That abandonment they create is part of the dual mothership model
@@Lailat854 narcissists def hate people who have a backbone.
@@Lailat854🎉 i love hearing the Power in yr comment 😊
@@b8akaratn that's how it has to be. if you don't know your value, the narcissist will determine it for you.
In my opinion, They HATE when you BREATH logic.
On point 👏
That's why I really need to leave him permanently
You can do it! We only have this one life💖
Plz run
Please make your exit plan in silence.
@@indiaknight3690 Humm he wants to trap me
Girl, please leave...yesterday!
They dont dont have empathy for nobody they function as their needs are most important and nobody has right
Yep!
They have empathy for themselves only .
They are the worst person ive ever seen in my life
I see you have met my family!
Met my neighbour?
@@MJ-qb5ph thank you for sharing. We are all in the same situation trying to get out and recover.
@@marleeravenscroft7848 Yes well said
@@MJ-qb5ph That makes two of us.
We have this perseverance which comes from self-love which they do not have at all
Again, clear, concise and true. A tongue in cheek summation is the narcissist needs you to be more broken than they are. That also represents their inverted style of thinking. If you are more broken than they are, then they are better.
This is very true. They fake supportiveness to get you to confide in them about your struggles in life, even claiming to have similar struggles so you feel understood; all so they can feel superior.
yes
Thank you Danish! I was in a marriage with a narc for 20 years. When i decided to leave, he became insane. And even now, after FOUR long years later, i know and get his anger through his texts that he HATES that i got back to my real ME, which was completely extinct for that long period because of my love to him. He hates my independence and he hates that i am just simply ME and that i am happy without him. Such a relief!😇
👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽🙌🏽 on your freedom. Wishing you the very best in new love and in new life. 💟☮️🕉️
And yes!! So true! I said to my narcissist, I was born without you, I survived life, and if you think I need you you're mistaken. He shut up and gave me silent treatment. And I slept like a baby.
😆😆 I 💟 it! 😃
Yes my x husband of 25 yrs. Called me The unsinkable Molly Brown !!! An alcoholic, narcissist, high functioning that made life a living Hell for our 3 children & myself. He passed away from bone cancer. I've been in AL Al
Anon and a Christian.
Thank You Danish, yes may healings begin for victims of abuse.🎉
They cannot kill what God has crowned
Nice to hear that ?
I was almost next to die
@@anjuangel8626 me too
Amen!!!
A covert narcissist may respond in a variety of ways when discovered, depending on the particular circumstance and the person. When their behavior is criticized, a covert narcissist may occasionally become aggressive or defensive and reject or abdicate responsibility for their actions. They might try to gaslight the person who exposed them by getting them to doubt their own sense of truth or perspective. Narcissists frequently employ this strategy to keep control of the relationship. In other situations, a covert narcissist could act more violently or aggressively in an effort to retake control or establish dominance. They could try to control or intimidate the person who has exposed them, or they might lash out with abusive language or actions. A covert narcissist may also retreat or isolate themselves if their actual nature is discovered. They might make an effort to separate themselves from the person who exposed them or try to avoid any sort of conflict. Being masters of manipulation, narcissistic people frequently possess a special ability for charm, which allows them to get away with manipulating others. They might be able to beguile people into believing they are not actually narcissists and convince them that they are to blame. The process of exposing a covert narcissist may be extremely taxing and even dangerous, so it’s vital to keep that in mind. It’s crucial to exercise prudence and have a solid support network in place, including friends, family, and a therapist. You can process your experience and develop a strategy for dealing with the circumstance in a secure and healthy manner with the aid of a therapist or counselor. Additionally I hired a private detective Barryinvestigation@gmail. com. Once I knew what the narc was up to, it got easier to get over that lying, cheating, sack of doo doo, loser. I didn’t need closure from the narc, I paid for it. Best money I EVER spent!
My narcissistic boss constantly follows me complaining trying to get me to react I simply just say oh I see and walk away fast to get back to my work , I’m not gonna let anyone make me lash out and scream I’ll just do what I came there to do I’m on the clock I don’t have time to hear random complaining about myself all day this is why I don’t get close to bosses cuz the closer and friendlier you get with them the more they feel they can come at you sideways .
A great tip is to never complain and explain yourself. ❤
@@melisentiapheiffer3034 did you read what I wrote? Where in that did I say I complain ?
@@SylisDaGoldenPeach I'm agreeing with you. Your boss is the one complaining, so you are in control.
@@melisentiapheiffer3034 thank you
Just curious, why do you consider someone who complains to you as being a narcissist. Because I'm pretty sure that alone doesn't make someone a narcissist at all.
The narc in my life this week told me, life would be better if i just stop communicating and having opinions. Id be ok if i nod, and smile when he lectures.
Wow this is entirely true. Whenever I would go to work, my abuser would verbally abuse me and hit me. But I would come back from work happy and peaceful, and it would enrage him. when I wouldn’t see my abuser for days, because I needed time to recollect myself and when I would, and work on myself, he would look upset and I couldn’t understand why. After watching this video it confirms, that he was upset that I was resilient to the abuse and continued to preserve despite the depression and pain I was feeling inside. That whenever he saw me, I didn’t look like a defeated shell that gave up on themselves..
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Oh wow! This is so true! Oh he tried as hard as he could. He tried to the day he died and I took about 5 years, but I am doing amazing. I had told him face to face, you don't love me, you need me. I made him admit it. Boy I paid for that one, but my light is bright as a star!
Paid? How?
@@savitagupta132 He was mad because he was put on the spot and was a bigger A$$ than usual.
This video makes me feel like I'm not alone in my personal kill bill movie. If anyone has not seen that movie. I highly recommend. It'll make you believe in yourself to survive.
Spot on Danish. 😊 Narcisists have no life in them, they are walking zombies and we are alive, thank God got that. Life is attractive 😊❤
I've had a rash on my hands my whole life more or less,53 years. He used to taunt me about it,saying it was my life's work. Since I decided to go no contact with my dad a few weeks back my hands have completely healed up!! I think it was a physical expression of my distress.
Easily. Psoriasis is often an auto- immune response. Good on you
That light will ALWAYS shine❤
You are absolutely correct I had a restaurant with my violent ex It was mainly my idea but he took most of the credit aided and abetted by my mother When l ran away with the children he closed the business because he couldn't cope even although my mother and he stayed home he knew every aspect of the business including what a great cook he was He could boil an egg if he had to I bought another business which was successful I always felt in my inner core l would not let him bully me or the children I would stand up to him which he did not like and if he tried to stop me doing something eg read a book l would find a way to do it so he wouldn't know Not bad for someone who was always told how stupid they were I occasionally see him now and he tells me how wonderful l am I just think it is great hoe much l have improved since l left!!! It's a miracle?!!
They live in perpetual discontent.
I am indestructible....ready to move away from them...❤❤❤❤
They can't stay alone and are very very miserable and their jokes are dry and lack of humour. Am staying alone forever and very happy being alone and peaceful drama free 😌
It's a shame that becomes our only choice be alone or be with a demon creature. Maybe you will meet a genuine person, but the odds are you won't. It will just be another demon creature.
Biggest thing he hates about me. Me being me and not who he tryst to make me be.
That’s EXACTLY the wording I used! He hates me for being me (even though, that’s what made his life easy, tasty, aesthetically pleasing, welcoming, functional, etc.) and his malignant narc mom also hated me just for being me, because it revealed her for being her- miserable, a bully, mean spirited, condescending. My nice qualities were such an obvious contrast to hers and she hated how obvious it was to everyone.
He's ended up in a homeless shelter here in Mexico where I live. He brought it all on himself. Karma in action. I have compassion but I won't save him this time. He tried to destroy everything good in my life. He failed. No matter how much he begs, I'm done! Terminado and it's so freeing 🙏
Parent, Relatives, Love life, Friends, seen it all..
Can write a book on life now.
I will rise up again. Coz I've nothing to ask or expect from anyone.
I pray God for all these experiences that is shaping me up. 🙏
I truly realise that there are people in pain and suffering. And I won't let my life go in vain. Not anymore.
Time to take charge..
True! Thank you Angel Danish❤
Thank You so much! I never thought of myself as having resilience or perseverance...until I thought back on how my mom or ex tried to demean me and I always pushed back because I knew deep down inside what that were saying about me...Was Not True!
Bravo/a!
Guilt destroys anyone from within..
Same applies to a narc but the problem is they have unresolved guilt - the bad things they did to others. Hence they continue to being bad from within as they themselves cannot forgive what they have done to others..
I have narcissist in my family....I thought I was until I understood the difference between narcissistic traits and narcissistic personality...the traits are used by empaths as a defense mechanism against narcissistic behavior however it could affect your relationships with others
I've posted on so many of Danish's videos about all the crappy things my narc ex did. I'm going to keep it short and sweet this time. This video resonated with me and my "experience" from beginning to end. I'm glad I was too hard for that crazy a-hole to handle! That's what saved me! Danish, you rock!
Ditto. We need to be proud of ourselves for our strength. They tested our metal and lost. 💪🏽💪🏽
Thank you so much!! I'm going through this mind fuck and It's very awful
Yep!!!.... That was me. But I left, and took my 2 kids and we developed a much more peaceful lifestyle. The abuse, the crulity and the mental torcher are gone. And now my children and I have learnt to move on with our lives.
Biggest thing my ex narc hated about me was when I was happy and content. I remember- after we bought our dream house he asked what else I wanted.. I told him, nothing, I have gotten all I wanted in my life. His face kind of twisted and dropped. One and a half year later I left him because he no longer bothered to hide his cheating. We sold the house but, without him, I am even happier than before!
Today i came to knew clearly why he hates me nowadays to the core.He always trying to break that perseverance and reslience making me to.fight back with him .He wantedly pushing me to that situations.Making unnecessary comversations.Now he says he changed and what more to change ..xome Lets go and meet the therpist
So true. I am such a feisty woman. I am very independent and strong and resilient. He used to comp about this of me. He would constantly tell me how everyone hated me that he was the only one that loved. Bull dung. You hit every single point perfectly. Thank you. I did finally got rid of him. I am much happier now without him.
He did the same to his first wife that ended in divorce. He blamed her. And he did the same to his second wife. She died after 35 years with him. Of cancer. But as anyone that is on the medical field knows that extreme stress like this can cause severe health conditions.
After 4 years separated he also died and I am still alive and well and happier than ever.
NARCY good riddance.
He truly resented my ability to be authentic and he made it sound like he was some kind of martyr for being so fake while i was privileged or something for having the strength and bravery to be myself and transparent
They can’t stand it if you draw boundaries with them. The narcissist thrives on shameless behavior and their codependent’s desire to accept it. Draw boundaries and watch how they counterattack.
I WAS self reliant and independent. Over the 12 years with him I was housebound for the last 2. I left the end of 2023 and am having to live with my parents at age 34. I feel absolutely awful about myself and my life. I have already come a long way in 6 months but still far from being independent. Arghhhhhhhh I HATE that he took myself away from me and I'm only just seeing it. I was a shell of myself and still am to a degree. I feel like a burden right now and I NEED to sort my self out asap. I hate myself because of what I let happen and become of me.
Please don't hate yourself. If someone you trusted manipulated you it is him who should be hated.Moreover,its acceptable in India to stay with parents.It can be considered acceptable in your condition too.
Take time to heal.Its ok.Take your time.God will be with you.😊❤
@@savitagupta132 thank you so much ❤️
YEEESS!! ❤ Best Ever ❤:
"You have alot to give and they can only take".
Oh, very insightful video, indeed, it came in the right moment, to clarify the whole thing about the narcissistic behavior towards empathetic people who suffer even for decades such a hideous and cruel abuse!!! Thank you so much Danish, you are heaven sent!!! 🙏🙏🙏
Wow....l am getting this as l am ending a relationship with a man who presented an entirely different person and when we got married, he almost killed my life for 14 years.
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I cant believe that I could reason to this. I always wondered how and why.
He didnt earn, yet was jealous of my success in interviews. I slowly stopped discussing about my offers yet didnt realize something like this could.be beneath the mask. Yet he has the audacity to demand for money and say that he sacrificed his dreams for me while the fact was that he couldnt find work. His career, his business attempts were all failures. My mind is blowing out how did I not see through this and just cried, blamed and tried to kill myslef too.
He drove me to self harm yet never stopped me when I was hurting myself right infront of his eyes. When I dared to ask him why did he not stop me he didnt have an answer.
I took medicines, therapies and was tangled in this loop where he kills my self respect, my confindence, I struggle, cry, suffer and see hell each day but stand back on 11th day. Again he would crush me. I was fed up of this loop but couldnt see through it.
Thank ypu Danish! I may be falling prey again bcoz I knkw pretty well I have a long way to heal. But this may help me stand back on 8th or 9th day than 11th.
Thank you for making these videos!
You have got this 100% right...I speak from my own experience, maybe there's others out there too
Thank you for the explanation about the narcissist's behavior. It has made lot easier to understand and heal from them.
I saw from my own experience and they can never stand your confidence and freedom
Any and all information you share, Danish, is so refreshing and very encouraging ❤
How could I have been so stupid to not have seen this sooner!
You can not see what you are not aware of. If you had been the same as him, using people, you would have recognized it but you are not like him. Give yourself grace and compassion. We learn as we experience along the way💙
@@Sadbuttrue-ThatSwedishGirl you are so right, I had no reason to think he was a deceitful liar cause all I wanted was him, I tried to see all the good him even when there was none, he constantly made up lies about me. Even now he wins because I am too broken to even think of being with anyone else, I truly loved him
@@JadaGatesI hear you as I felt the same. Why did I not see him coming??? But our good light within us blinds us and we fall in love unwittingly to a lie and if we have never encountered a narc personality previously we just don’t know that we should AVOID AT ALL COST. I’ve chalked it down to life experience, I feel that little bit wiser and now know what to look out for in the future. I wish the same for you. #WarriorsRule #WeAllDeserveTrueLoveAndHappiness 💟☮️🕉️
@@DK.448 thank you! You are absolutely right and thank you for your encouragement! I am so broken by this And I don’t think I will ever recover I just need to learn to live with it
@@JadaGates I absolutely know how you feel. But sweetheart YOU WILL RECOVER AND YOU WILL FIND TRUE LOVE / SOULMATE. You just need to find / remember the strong woman that you were before you met the narc. That woman is worthy of love and is worthy of a good life. You owe it to yourself. You will only get the one life. Through this terrible experience you’ve just come through, the future is going to be brighter because you’re wiser, stronger, smarter, you’re a warrior and you don’t want anyone wasting your time again.
Jada, If I can survive and thrive, that light still shines in you, waiting to shine brighter than before. I wish you the very best in love and in life. Stay 💪 and believe in yourself. 🤗💟☮️🕉️ #RememberWhoYouWere.
My adult daughter (in mid thirties)has made my life a hell on earth-but I am trying hard to help myself and stay focused. Thank you so much Danish for educating us!
7:05 with Narcspouse, his own Narcdad knew by saying, "What's the matter?! You look nervous!" it would throw a wrench in the mechanics of his son's crafted fascade. For this and other dismaying reasons, extended family visits were always interesting, to say the least. ...Glad they are ALL OVER!!
Simply one of the best ever YT vids on narcissism we have ever heard. And we've heard a lot. Thank you!
It feels wonderful to listen to this, Danish! I feel like someone is on my side by attributing things to me that they try desperately to take away. It feels like love when someone is on my side vs all the people in my life who hate me because of something wrong with them.
Thanks, very deep knowledge, very hidden truth about their evil behaviour.
I’m having a hard time. I have had a relationship with a man who has narcissistic traits and is a forever, beer drinking alcoholic. You are helping me so much and I thank you so much. I have a psychiatrist. I have a daughter who was diagnosed a long time ago with bipolar disorder. However, she too shows signs of Antisocial tendencies. She lies just like she tells the truth. Many more (horrible to live with) symptoms. Between the two of them is me. I’m a depressed person and have been. 68 now, on antidepressants, for decades. I try to respond with your very good advice. Like not gettin emotional, and I’m getting better. But, I do feel like my brain is mush, and I know my relationship with him has caused me all kinds of problems. My 2 daughters and I live together. My oldest is the one who has terrible symptoms of more serious than bipolar. My youngest daughter and I try to have each other’s back and absolutely no other person knows how bad this is. Sorry so long. Thank you for helping me through all this. ❤
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Dear Mr. Bashir, Sooooo tru your summary with key-points! As I'm fighting, since years, against an abusive (hélas, also sexual abuse...) ex-therapist, from Louvain( an old man now, has got tree marriages + children (hallo?!); notwithstanding still trying to intervene in my TOP-private life! Me living in Brussels! Thanks to many publications concerning this criminal abuse, I try to resist! Your brief and clear summary is only a confirmation concerning these horrible manipulations! ALL the best for YOU!
This is so spot on. All your videos have really helped me work through how things are with me and my son’s father. He can’t stand that I am alright after his affair and our split. I truly hope that he somehow can find peace through God or something because I know he is miserable. While he acknowledges what he did he can’t accept that what he did was as hurtful and undeserving of reconciliation as it is. It’s wild the emotional rollercoaster he tried to keep me on.
I embedded my name in his life with lots of respect that he cannot do anything without remembering me in his life. When I realized the relationship wasn’t going anywhere, I’ve made up my mind and I became resilient and left him suddenly without a word. Till now it still hurts him cause I went no contact that drives him crazy knowing I’ve moved on. 😂😂😂😂
My narc did the same to me. He knows I am charming so people whether they like me or not will surround me. He told them all that i latched onto him and that he didn't care for me so no one will talk to me.
Danish your channel is a Godsend for me thank you .
These kinds of sad figures unite hatred and the devil within themselves. So much hate in one person.
I know what that thing is. In my case I figured out that he wants to be me, or any girl. When guys would pay attention to me he’d get so mad. Not because he was jealous but because he didn’t get the attention. (he had 0 friends) Weird I know
Danish may I suggest a topic? I’ve watched the majority of yours and other channels on narcissism. But I’ve yet to find a video made for people who don’t understand a narcissist relationship. Almost like a guide or introductory video into what goes on and the damage these types of relationships cause to people who might not understand that dynamic. Like a video a person who’s suffering from this relationship would show a friend or family to explain what they are experiencing. Just a suggestion. Love your content!
Dr Ramani 2 years ago did a series on glossary of terms and actions breaking things down simply. It is helpful.
You are just amazing! I like the way you explain the process and give examples of how that Narcissist operates from a psychological perspective. Also, what they hope to accomplish. In retrospect, it’s laughable. However, your points of reference is helpful in understanding the Narcissist and what to look for. Most importantly, recognizing the Narcissist’s true intentions! They are so ridiculously weak. I’ll definitely will be able to identify them moving forward! The first was Discarded and I never even knew that he was a Narcissist until someone said bought to my attention. I’m grateful for that Discarded. Blocked for life!
Thank you Danish. Bless you for all the help and wisdom you impart to those of us trying to heal from this situation. My mother has endstage cancer and I know it is a complex web of things I’m experiencing-namely guilt for thinking it will likely be freeing to not have to deal with all the monkey-mind complexities. Still , I will miss other things and am already facing much sadness about all the hurt and disappointment that she never really wanted the best for me. Her jealousy made her cruel, cunning and corrosive. I spent my whole life thinking it (whatever “it” even was or is) was my fault, and that I deserved such treatment. I am also filled with pity for the shell of a person she is. I love her and am grateful she gave me life. But the scarring is real and deep. …..so much sadness all around….I hope to join a support group for survivors of narcissistic abuse. Again, thank you for the real-life-holy work you are doing.💜☮✝☮💜
Every video I watch it’s like you lived in my house
40 years he distorted me I stayed for the children culture shame then he walked out because I started to Spk out I’m at peace now if he hadn’t walked out I would have died living this was he did me the biggest favour financially I’m in a bad state but free 🙏🏼
This is 100% correct. Everything you said I have experienced. Thank you so much. It is so good to hear someone but into words exactly what I was expecting. I am so grateful. You’re helping me to heal I didn’t know there were people out there going through what I was going through.
They really hate that you are smarter than a 5-year-old and see right through them
Thank you Danish,
God bless you.
From JANESVILLE, WI
He can’t control me . I told him I have principle in life and that is not to cross my boundaries . He said to me , I knew it , I knew it , you will be the one to finish me.
By the time you realise ,they are evil, and are actively abusing you...its too late,because they've already convinced family you're either crazy or bad .... I
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You are so correct. My father hated it when I had any success and he told me, "You don't have to go to college!"
Mine just blurted out out of the bue one day - I could have gone to college Annie (his mother's sister) told me she'd pay for it. Here's the kicker -- he was 85 a years old at the time, I was 62!! I paid for it and graduated college. I as per usual looked at him with a blank stare and no verbal or physical response. He was actually trying to bully me while low key saying You're nothing special because you went to college. Lol Can you imagine trying to be an 85 year old bully? How horrible is that!
So true for me. Thank you for giving me validation to go forward
Just WOW... I recently found out last year (through one of your vids) the true scope of what and who I was dealing with. Dr. Danish, I am forever grateful.
Agree with all except for the “inherited business.” So many narcissists inherit $, businesses, they didn’t earn or build yet wield as if the $ is BC they are superior/so great.
Danish, you have studied the narcissistic personality very deeply.
The last line of this clip says it all! Thank you!
Tysm,Danish I honestly feel so much better after watching this becus u spoke my entire life past few months..and i have been mistreated a lot.mostly spiritually i was attacked by this narcissist and she destoryed me so much from her envy bcus i always was kind to her no matter what and she hated me for who i was..made me question my own reality..seeing this i gained self trust,worth cus past few days i started self doubting my talents,gifts and its really hard still..
i lost my inner self,my spiritual abilities and everything but now.after seeing all of this im damn sure im proud of myself...for exactly being the way u defined me from the vid
Thank you Danish ❤ for all your insight you’ve given me clarity and guidance
Excellent as always, thank you Danish 👍👍
Understood more the thoughts behind the Narcissist.Thanks!
They are truly disordered individuals. The rules that normally apply in relationships will never apply to them. Please, if youve gotten out, DO NOT go back
4:27 My one narc bro has "become" ano malignant despotic despicable narc bro. He was "God" to him since childhood.
ano same narc sis is "God" to all narc family members . She was demon to me since childhood.
I was born in a narc family of 11. I remember being confused at around 12 yrs . I mean no harm I want best for all . Why this happening to me ?
Narc mum wud take her frustrations out on me and beat me. I'd go outside alone hide and cry. Dog wud smell n come to me. I'd cry n complain to our dog.
I'd cry and say mum hit me _______ . Mum hit me ______. Dog was whimpering. He was sympathizing .
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Danish, you are so right 👍 with that. I love your seccions. Bless you 🙏
Thankyou Danish! This is one of the best descriptions of all we go through as well as who we are vs what they are… who they are is what 😢 what they do and expect you to believe. Please don’t believe this nonsense. It is more than surface… they will make you absolutely sick and absorb everything that THEY are. They want you to be them and them you.💜🙏⚔️🗣️
Remember, YOU.
Once again, EXCELLENT!!👍🏽
We can change and find solace in our own company, we still can grow up and rise from ashes
We can become self sufficient, they will, probably, never do it.. Why and what for to change if they are already perfect?
BRILLIANT, DANISH!!!!! THANK YOU 🙏!!!!!!!!!! ❤😊
Wow that was right on. Amazing. It helps to clarify it when you speak. Thank you.
Thank you for this video, this is actually helping me heal...
You nailed this one, Danish!
Thank you, Danish