Yes, that's exactly what my daughter did when she left her narcissistic ex four years ago. Didn't tell a soul besides me. Got away and never looked back.
Yes , I did that back in 2017 after living with Him for 10 Years , He went to see a friend of His for 2 days , and I packed up everything I owned , and was out before He got back , and I’ve never , ever looked back ! I’m 64 and happier than I’ve ever been !
I’ve broken the trauma bond with him all I see now is a nasty useless piece of trash..I’m very angry at all the treatment and lies I was put through..there’s a long way to recovery..but I’m on my way …🙏❤️
Listen man I have to give you credit. There is no trauma or reminder of my pass abuse when I watch You. I'm too busy laughing at the skits and the comedic spin on these Narcs. You are doing a good job thanks for being you 🙏
When I read about homeopathy and homeopathic pills a couple of decades ago, I read that one of the pills had listed 'accident prone' as one of the conditions for the person who should take those pills. I thought that it sounded like delusional rubbish back then (that you could take a pill and stop being 'accident prone'), and it put me off Homeopathy. I now understand that when you are so exhausted from stress and from living under constant pressure in an insecure environment for years without enough proper sleep, then you are no longer present in your body nor mind, but half asleep when doing whatever that you do,. And yes, it makes you 'accident prone'.
Great video! Spot on! I really was bumping into objects all my childhood and most of my life and had unexpected light bruises e.g. on my knees, legs or arms which I didn't even feel but then people asked me if I had an abusive partner who does it to me when I had nobody at all and I told them that I did it to myself and they just knowingly smiled though they took it all wrong! Since my childhood I often had my fingers cut and I didn't even notice it until I saw blood there with my own eyes, then tried to remember how it happened! People starting from my abusive family used to call me clumsy and not seeing where I go because I purportedly "had my head among the clouds"...Also, it's always been easier for me to live in the south with no snow as on the ice I tried hard to keep my balance at a very early age and people laughed at me for being "like an old granny"! Since my early age I often felt that my body doesn't belong to me at all and I couldn't understand in what world I literally was! Though I escaped my abusive family and live on the other side of the world now with my good husband I still can't relax and fall asleep only when I am exhausted! Ah, yes, all my childhood I wasn't sure if I'm really hungry as I had a coping mechanism - to always say I'm not hungry as I knew that very soon my family will force me to eat much anyway as "the child is so thin" and threaten me that I would never leave the table until I eat the whole portion, so I had to defend myself from overeating what they all ate and though I'm not fixated on food I'm very often still not sure if I'm really hungry or it's just a stress that pushes me to eat something...
when you are unwilling or unable to draw hard lines with the idiot narcissist, your body will do it for you, eventually with a variety of physical and mental ailments. cheers from southern ontario, canada 🍁
Another wonderful video, thank you!! It's funny that you mention ADHD in this context. I just saw another psychologist talking about how ADHD might be a form of chronic dissociation in itself, and be a symptom of trauma
There are brand new studies (2023) that do support this hypothesis. But it will take years for the new science to be repeated and integrated into the field of psychology.
I feel overwhelmed most of the time, the only time my emotions are under control is when I am with my phone. At least, internet helps me distract myself from my pain and I don't have toxic thoughts all the time but the second my phone is off, I feel a deep pain in my chest and I start to panic. This literally push me to be in my phone until I collapse from exhaustion.
If you happen to have a garden or know someone who does, or even a community garden is a wonderful place to focus your emotions. It can clear your mind, very peaceful, breathing fresh air, listening to the birds sing and doing their thing, exercising and seeing the beauty of the plants growing is very therapeutic and confirms beauty still exists.
I hope your TN goes into remission. I have it and it is the worst thing you can feel! A combo of vitamins and minerals and mind-body connection put it in remission for about 5 years now.
Your videos are wonderful Danish. I always find so much truth and perspicacity. I have gone through so much of what you talk about. It's so conforting to know that I am not the only one to have experienced all of that. Thank you 🧡
Psyche and body goes one in one. I can tell you something - if you have problems every week with your health (every weak another body-part hurts) ... Check your psyche as well. Take it from me...
I am so overwhelmed by how correct you are, Danish. I have so many of the things you spoke of. Especially having eating disorders. I am so happy to have run across your site. My life is slowly changing by the day!
Thank you . I am over thinking at the moment and I keep bumping my elbow on things and it’s always the same part of the elbow. Before I could always walk safely around places.
Almost all of these points in greater or lesser degrees for most of my life :/ Not just from narc-abuse, but other trauma as well. I'm also dissociative which i'm not sure how this would factor in. Just as the body can be numb and not feel pain or realize its needs. I realized my emotions/desires were numb as well since childhood just this past year! *It wasn't safe to feel, so i didn't* Now i'm finally connecting with the heart of my heart. Thank you for excellent videos! Here's to collective healing for all of us.
After 40 years of hell my doctors said I had Parkinsons disease. I had seizures and couldn't walk or talk. It all went away when I left. There's your sign. Thank you Danish
Thank u Danish! You don’t know that God almighty has selected u for this great job, u have solved many problems of extremely suffered people, Always stay blessed!!❤
The one I relate to the most is lack of spatial awareness. I have gotten used to having bruises on my arms, my legs, and my hips, and not remembering how I got them. I have also been accused of "living in my head" too much, of not being fully present. And I do find myself going over and over things in my mind that happened long ago, that were never resolved in a good way. Also, like someone else here, I was made to feel that I didn't deserve to be healthy, to get my needs taken care of. And it's weird, but when I try to establish a healthier routine and take better care of myself, I feel as if something is blocking me from doing it. I have some kind of weird psychological block, and I don't know how to get past it. I think I need to follow that link and see if there's something there that can help me.
This just further confirms. Just now I only started to eating because it was turning into pain even then sometimes I do t eat. And I only get up only when I’m about to pee myself
I also had a fractured hip but never felt the pain. just a strange feeling. Pretty sure I’ve broken more bones but ya you’re right. I grew up like an animal. Except even wild animals get their rest
I got rid of alot of furniture so I would not bump myself. I was not watching where I was going. Just dumped 50 lbs of old paperwork! Never had time to go through it!
2:36 - I've tackled myself with refrigerators because I'm so caught up in my head. I'm so clumsy that I've learned to combat it with extremely fast reflexes to compensate. Like I can catch things I've knocked over. I didn't realize that this is related to being raised by a narc. Makes sense that I do both.
Danish, can I ask you a serious question.. what happens to you (and your body) if you are forced to have sex with your partner every single day for over 10 years? Like what could happen to a person mentally? Physically? I am feeling like suicide is my only way out but I keep hanging on because I have 2 disabled children (3 kids total) with this man and no money or resources to support them. I can’t abandon them as nobody is willing to care for them like I do and I love them. He has all the power. All the control. I never get to leave the house bc I’m overwhelmingly busy caring for my disabled children. I barely have time to myself and I’m in constant pain. He still wants what he wants at the end of the day and no amount of negotiation or begging will stop him. The only time he “leaves me alone” is when he’s sick or sometimes when we have company over. He says I have it better than most because I don’t have to work a 9-5 job. But I am constantly busy caring for our kids and the house. I’m 43 yrs old now and I feel so broken and like there’s no way out. I feel physically sick and shaky just typing this bc I am doing it fearfully and in secret.
Hang in there friend , sending you a hug 🤗🤗 . I know exactly what you are experiencing, we are the same age too. Just the sex thing stopped for me after I acquired a bladder issue .( About 2 years now) . I know the feeling of being forced to be with someone intimately and it's not your need/ desire but theirs , feels like they're raping your soul and is a very belittling experience. I fully understand why you can't leave , without a safe place to go to and resources of your own it makes things very hard .
Me me oh pick me! You learn, let your bod become a train wreck from their abuse it's the only way they'll leave you alone, talk about grey rocking but survive we do!
Yes I still overwork and have to finish all the chores before I will allow myself to sleep..many years of being controlled and treated like a domestic servant has become habitual to me..I’m starting to slow it down now…🙏🫶
Please try to do things totally different. Change routines. Little by little reclaim your own freedom of choice. Like for example, go to bed with a sink full of dishes. Throw the kitchen towel over them if you have to. They will be there in the morning and you can smile and chuckle as you gingerly wash them then.
Hi Danish how are you well with all the training I am now a super housekeeper cook and gardener and DIY expert…and can spot a narc a mile away. Very high quality workmanship…🖕🏻to them..they can’t afford me now…
This is the first video I've seen describing everything I've been experiencing especially in the past 18 months. Thank you for this explanation, which can help survivors towards validation of a very real experience. I was told by the abuser that I was just getting old and crazy.
You've got to eat, leave healthy stuff on the counter, apple, nuts, cheese, bread in olive oil and vinegar and munch, parsley, your narc's taken your strenght and your body's reacting normally, it's ok but don't be your own enemy narc will win more, keep watching and learning, this stuff's fascinating, you'll rise like a phoenix but you must stay no contact and if you can't leave show'em who they had the misfortune of screwing with, give them nothing, you gave your all and... Game over, you win you back, good luck! ❤
I am crying to hear when you talk about being clumsy etc I now understand it was Never my fault it was the trauma in my body ..so sad it took this long to get over it
You Have allowed me to Reflect back in my childhood troubled home , and later into the hands of a greater narcissist, my life has always been on Fright mode ,constant mental fatigue, chronic sleep and bouts of eating disorders people pleasing self-esteem low confidence it's been such a battle.i am now almost 2years free of these creatures and my body is till trying to adjust but totally feel better and less mental fog
i was in relationship with an evil extreme narcissist for 12 years, i have struggled for 6 years to heal after that , thank you for giving me the understanding and knowledge doctor , and i will start listening to my body
You hit the nail on the head. I didn't even feel the physical pain. I'm suffering with suppressed hunger. Thoughts pile up and I can't sleep. People tell me I got to taķe better care of myself. This advice is doing me lots of good. I got It. Now I can start looking for specific things to work on. You are such a darling helping many of us get the life we were robbed back. Knowing my parents were both narcissists answers the question why I married another narcissist. I suffered them till I was 50. Haven't healed completely. The monster is still using my kids as fawns. All the symptoms have reappeared in a slighter form . I am 67 but I intend to do all I can to get my life back. Thanks for your help. ❤
My husband has many of these symptoms and is in denial that his family are a big pile of narcissists. I even had him watch this video and he had nothing to say about it. He is always bumping into things. Always cold when it's hot. Is an undereater. I usually encourage him to have naps because he is SO tired! He denies so much, I feel so helpless. He won't help himself.
I've experienced the chills and heating up lots , I totally couldn't regulate my body temp, this has been happening since I was a kid , not eating as much as I need is also a problem for me , and I don't use the bathroom until late evening because I've never had my morning routine last long enough before the narcs in my life broke it . Sleeping too is an issue , I wait until I'm so exhausted that when I get into bed it's like I just pass away or slip into a coma , because if I try to sleep early , somebody tries to disturb me and wake me ( very light sleeper too so the tiniest sound makes me spring out of bed to check what's happening . Thank you for explaining these Danish
Thank you Danish. I have had and still have all you are talking about. Anorexia in the past included, can go without food all day, bumping into things, etc, etc. What worries me most is the lack of pain. I recently had a minor surgery and felt no pain at all, while I should have to. This is no good - no warning if there is a problem.
I have been away from my abuser for almost 9 years and despite therapy and even EMDR, I still struggle with temperature dysregulation, appetite issues and IBS, sleep disturbance and nightmares, and spacial awareness issues. I feel like my body isn't even mine anymore sometimes because it doesn't behave like it used to. It's awful. I really hope I one day get past most of this. Been tested for ADHD and autism and I do not have either. My life is not the same anymore. She didn't ruin me, but it often feels that way.
I do know this will sound to simple to work. Please try it. Keep asking Einsteins famous question Is this universe a friendly place..... When we ask AND listen for and look for and notice ANYTHING friendly it atteacts more of same. Ask other questions like this as I do Is the universe a beautiful place... A loving place. An abundant place I have done this. Small steps forward a few back. Keep going. It will help. I PROMISE. Let me know x 💜
Family stuff got me diagnosed with major depression and anxiety. I ended up not eating, or would just not be able to keep the food down. I was also not sleeping well with constant waking up. That led to physical weakness and my being hospitalized for about a week. When I was discharged, I was still struggling. Just 3 months after the first hospital stay, I got hospitalized again, this time for a longer period. I had been doing therapy and taking meds to feel slightly better. I'm now slowly healing.
Don' t give up, knowing what it all is half the battle, I went through some stress period as a kid whereas I puked all night for 3 weeks straight, when it stopped, so proud of myself I pointed out to mom I'd gone a while since I threw up I was told not to talk about it, hun? Weird! 😊
Yes, yes, yes, joint pain!!! Everywhere!! Siatica is way, way worse & my hips are acting up. One even cracks now at certain times?? Wtheck is goin on Danish? And you mentioned menopause. I was having hot flashes every day and night before I left. Then they went away since I've been away. I heard from him and I immediately got hot flashes again. Now my skin is breaking out, hair falling out and i have dark patches on parts of my skin. I'm a mess right now including the unbearable joint pain.... but I'm alive. Hopefully when I unwind all this through therapy, I will find my inner & outer shine again. 🤔💜✌🏽 Blessed 🐝
Please do a video on coping living with a narcissist because you’re a caregiver to them, eg a parent, and they’re dependent on you but still make life difficult 😢😢😢
I like your comedic commentary of this topic. Sometimes my old wounds get open when I watch some of these lives from different CC. I still learn from your lives without being traumatized.
1) CLUMSY - Not in my body, and not having awareness of my body in relation to my surroundings. 2) DELAYING BATHROOM USE - Still do this, but working on it. 3) EATING CUES - Not knowing when to stop eating was something that plagued me until several years ago. Food was my comfort, and being around narcs is SO painful, that I needed to keep eating until I could no longer stuff myself. 4) STAYING AWAKE UNTUL EXHAUSTION - Still working on this…the hardest one for me, since I don’t have any internal cues for how it feels to be well-taken care of.
Dr. Ramani had talked about one thing which I had experienced. Your body would start protesting when you sleep. You will feel like someone is trying to choke you to death. I had felt the exact same thing during my time with the narcissistic husband. This one thing completley made it clear to me that I was being subjected to narcissistic abuse or later discard
I have all these. 😢 Can trauma related to living with a narcissist cause physical illness or symptoms. Like chronic headaches/ migraines. Constant Fatique. Joint pain too?😮
What happens when you are neurodivergent and suffer a narcissist? The problems are amplified and you become confused as to why. Wish this was posted before I went to the doctor yesterday.
9:49 - I was the scapegoat of the family. I don't know how to sleep. I used to stay up all night when the rest of the family was sleeping. I was always late for school because of it. I was blamed for being late. I remember this being a thing even when I was 5-6 years old. I'm 42 and I STILL have this problem. My husband and I were both raised by narc moms. We cannot sleep without being totally exhausted. Our son can fall asleep in 10 minutes. We both marvel at it.
I was not allowed to eat much and was severely underweight, I wasn't given breakfast, lunch was a sandwich at school and dinner was mostly milk as she said I was fat. I became an anorexic for many years until I got my first job at age 16 at a supermarket and bought food for myself.
I used to have severe problem with body coordination while walking. The feeling is hard to describe like Im a ship in the stormy waves struggling to move forward(even though the surface is even) when everybody else are just moving confidently like gondolas in the calm canal. This strange fact made all my entrances so awkward making the impression of me as an extremely clumsy/shy/scared person perhaps and thus letting all insencere people im an easy target to fool with. These days I have problem with visiting bathroom, like, im okay but suddenly my need strikes me like lightening and i cant hold it even a second. Its 🫣but i almost got into much trouble because of this. Numerous times. And i keep selfsabotaging when i have time to go to bed earlier.
Yes I bump into things even if I’m familiar with the house, I don’t sleep until exhaustion. I am not aware of physical pain to the point that I was able to get a tattoo even if I have fears of injection. I have eating disorders both anorexia and bulimia. I can’t focus on what my body needs.
For me it got to the point I was getting awful heart palpitations anytime we got together or even texted. If I had lived with him I know that my waking, sleeping, eating would have been orchestrated by him.
Plan to leave the narcissists quickly and quietly
Yes, that's exactly what my daughter did when she left her narcissistic ex four years ago. Didn't tell a soul besides me. Got away and never looked back.
Do It Now What Are You Waiting For ❤️💯💪
Yes , I did that back in 2017 after living with Him for 10 Years , He went to see a friend of His for 2 days , and I packed up everything I owned , and was out before He got back , and I’ve never , ever looked back ! I’m 64 and happier than I’ve ever been !
This the one
I’ve broken the trauma bond with him all I see now is a nasty useless piece of trash..I’m very angry at all the treatment and lies I was put through..there’s a long way to recovery..but I’m on my way …🙏❤️
Listen man I have to give you credit. There is no trauma or reminder of my pass abuse when I watch You. I'm too busy laughing at the skits and the comedic spin on these Narcs. You are doing a good job thanks for being you 🙏
Good for You ☺️💪🏽💜
I wish You all the best ! I hope You find that Happiness You so much Deserve ❤
It's been 5 months on my own. I'm tired. Emotionally, mentally, spiritual and physical
Good, you'll push through this. I'm 7 mo out! Hang in there💪🏽💜✌🏽
💐🪻🌺🌷🏵️
I've seen some old clips of WW1 vets unable to walk properly because of PTSD, which was called shell shock at the time.
When I read about homeopathy and homeopathic pills a couple of decades ago, I read that one of the pills had listed 'accident prone' as one of the conditions for the person who should take those pills. I thought that it sounded like delusional rubbish back then (that you could take a pill and stop being 'accident prone'), and it put me off Homeopathy. I now understand that when you are so exhausted from stress and from living under constant pressure in an insecure environment for years without enough proper sleep, then you are no longer present in your body nor mind, but half asleep when doing whatever that you do,. And yes, it makes you 'accident prone'.
WTH?
All of these?
This makes a lot of sense now.
Too much sense.
Great video! Spot on! I really was bumping into objects all my childhood and most of my life and had unexpected light bruises e.g. on my knees, legs or arms which I didn't even feel but then people asked me if I had an abusive partner who does it to me when I had nobody at all and I told them that I did it to myself and they just knowingly smiled though they took it all wrong! Since my childhood I often had my fingers cut and I didn't even notice it until I saw blood there with my own eyes, then tried to remember how it happened! People starting from my abusive family used to call me clumsy and not seeing where I go because I purportedly "had my head among the clouds"...Also, it's always been easier for me to live in the south with no snow as on the ice I tried hard to keep my balance at a very early age and people laughed at me for being "like an old granny"! Since my early age I often felt that my body doesn't belong to me at all and I couldn't understand in what world I literally was! Though I escaped my abusive family and live on the other side of the world now with my good husband I still can't relax and fall asleep only when I am exhausted! Ah, yes, all my childhood I wasn't sure if I'm really hungry as I had a coping mechanism - to always say I'm not hungry as I knew that very soon my family will force me to eat much anyway as "the child is so thin" and threaten me that I would never leave the table until I eat the whole portion, so I had to defend myself from overeating what they all ate and though I'm not fixated on food I'm very often still not sure if I'm really hungry or it's just a stress that pushes me to eat something...
no joke. my MIL is a narc and whenever I am around her I break out into horrible hives. they improve as soon as I leave.
when you are unwilling or unable to draw hard lines with the idiot narcissist, your body will do it for you, eventually with a variety of physical and mental ailments.
cheers from southern ontario, canada 🍁
Another wonderful video, thank you!! It's funny that you mention ADHD in this context. I just saw another psychologist talking about how ADHD might be a form of chronic dissociation in itself, and be a symptom of trauma
I reckon it's CPTSD then, not ADHD. But unfortunately many psychologists know too little or don't even acknowledge CPTSD let alone how to treat it.
There are brand new studies (2023) that do support this hypothesis.
But it will take years for the new science to be repeated and integrated into the field of psychology.
Yep - Dr Gabor Mate talks about this.
I feel overwhelmed most of the time, the only time my emotions are under control is when I am with my phone. At least, internet helps me distract myself from my pain and I don't have toxic thoughts all the time but the second my phone is off, I feel a deep pain in my chest and I start to panic. This literally push me to be in my phone until I collapse from exhaustion.
If you happen to have a garden or know someone who does, or even a community garden is a wonderful place to focus your emotions. It can clear your mind, very peaceful, breathing fresh air, listening to the birds sing and doing their thing, exercising and seeing the beauty of the plants growing is very therapeutic and confirms beauty still exists.
Yes 💯 true, I have experienced all these symptoms thank you Angel Danish❤
I have back problems and trigeminal neuralgia. Started clenching my jaw like crazy in my sleep every night. Absolutely insane
I hope your TN goes into remission. I have it and it is the worst thing you can feel! A combo of vitamins and minerals and mind-body connection put it in remission for about 5 years now.
Your videos are wonderful Danish.
I always find so much truth and perspicacity.
I have gone through so much of what you talk about. It's so conforting to know that I am not the only one to have experienced all of that.
Thank you 🧡
Psyche and body goes one in one. I can tell you something - if you have problems every week with your health (every weak another body-part hurts) ... Check your psyche as well. Take it from me...
I am so overwhelmed by how correct you are, Danish. I have so many of the things you spoke of. Especially having eating disorders. I am so happy to have run across your site. My life is slowly changing by the day!
i've dealt with all of these all my life. not only from narcissistic partners, but also (i think) a narcissistic mother.
All true. Thank you, Danish 🙏🏻
Not until watching your videos did I realize the narcissistic abuse I covered up for 22 years, and am still dealing with it through divorce.
Thank you . I am over thinking at the moment and I keep bumping my elbow on things and it’s always the same part of the elbow. Before I could always walk safely around places.
Almost all of these points in greater or lesser degrees for most of my life :/ Not just from narc-abuse, but other trauma as well. I'm also dissociative which i'm not sure how this would factor in.
Just as the body can be numb and not feel pain or realize its needs. I realized my emotions/desires were numb as well since childhood just this past year! *It wasn't safe to feel, so i didn't* Now i'm finally connecting with the heart of my heart.
Thank you for excellent videos! Here's to collective healing for all of us.
After 40 years of hell my doctors said I had Parkinsons disease. I had seizures and couldn't walk or talk. It all went away when I left. There's your sign. Thank you Danish
I experience all of those, I thought i was crazy but i always knew it has something to do with the narcissists in my environment.
All of these!!! Even almost 4 years later after leaving, although its not as drastic as it used to be.
Slurred Speech, stuttering …should be included
Thank u Danish! You don’t know that God almighty has selected u for this great job, u have solved many problems of extremely suffered people, Always stay blessed!!❤
Thank you always
From Cynthia in JANESVILLE, WISCONSIN USA
I've suffered severe pressured speech, rashes on my scalp and a fear of leaving the house thanks to these demons.
So correct 💯
Thank you for all of your videos.
The one I relate to the most is lack of spatial awareness. I have gotten used to having bruises on my arms, my legs, and my hips, and not remembering how I got them. I have also been accused of "living in my head" too much, of not being fully present. And I do find myself going over and over things in my mind that happened long ago, that were never resolved in a good way.
Also, like someone else here, I was made to feel that I didn't deserve to be healthy, to get my needs taken care of. And it's weird, but when I try to establish a healthier routine and take better care of myself, I feel as if something is blocking me from doing it. I have some kind of weird psychological block, and I don't know how to get past it. I think I need to follow that link and see if there's something there that can help me.
So grateful for you!
This just further confirms. Just now I only started to eating because it was turning into pain even then sometimes I do t eat. And I only get up only when I’m about to pee myself
I also had a fractured hip but never felt the pain. just a strange feeling. Pretty sure I’ve broken more bones but ya you’re right. I grew up like an animal. Except even wild animals get their rest
I got rid of alot of furniture so I would not bump myself. I was not watching where I was going. Just dumped 50 lbs of old paperwork! Never had time to go through it!
Not going to the bathroom and then rushing
Never able to sleep
Lately my body has been stiff all over and I finally found out that it could be stress.
2:36 - I've tackled myself with refrigerators because I'm so caught up in my head. I'm so clumsy that I've learned to combat it with extremely fast reflexes to compensate. Like I can catch things I've knocked over. I didn't realize that this is related to being raised by a narc. Makes sense that I do both.
Check if you have a left AIC pattern if you have trouble breathing!
You forgot OCD triggering too
I’ve developed the rocking back and forth. Among many other things.
And yes... being empty is also..
4 years no narcissists, but I gained like 25 pounds I loose it then gain it back
All the symptoms and more
Chills definitely Chills!🥶can you please let me know Why a narcissist Competes with me.
Truth!💚
A lost loads of wait… couldn’t eat during some fases… Not sleeping and ruminating until exhaustion…. Normal even after I left the house….
Danish, can I ask you a serious question.. what happens to you (and your body) if you are forced to have sex with your partner every single day for over 10 years? Like what could happen to a person mentally? Physically? I am feeling like suicide is my only way out but I keep hanging on because I have 2 disabled children (3 kids total) with this man and no money or resources to support them. I can’t abandon them as nobody is willing to care for them like I do and I love them. He has all the power. All the control. I never get to leave the house bc I’m overwhelmingly busy caring for my disabled children. I barely have time to myself and I’m in constant pain. He still wants what he wants at the end of the day and no amount of negotiation or begging will stop him. The only time he “leaves me alone” is when he’s sick or sometimes when we have company over. He says I have it better than most because I don’t have to work a 9-5 job. But I am constantly busy caring for our kids and the house. I’m 43 yrs old now and I feel so broken and like there’s no way out.
I feel physically sick and shaky just typing this bc I am doing it fearfully and in secret.
Hang in there friend , sending you a hug 🤗🤗 . I know exactly what you are experiencing, we are the same age too. Just the sex thing stopped for me after I acquired a bladder issue .( About 2 years now) . I know the feeling of being forced to be with someone intimately and it's not your need/ desire but theirs , feels like they're raping your soul and is a very belittling experience. I fully understand why you can't leave , without a safe place to go to and resources of your own it makes things very hard .
True
Me me oh pick me! You learn, let your bod become a train wreck from their abuse it's the only way they'll leave you alone, talk about grey rocking but survive we do!
im all the above...
Yes I still overwork and have to finish all the chores before I will allow myself to sleep..many years of being controlled and treated like a domestic servant has become habitual to me..I’m starting to slow it down now…🙏🫶
Take care of yourself now. Remind yourself that it's okay.
Please try to do things totally different. Change routines. Little by little reclaim your own freedom of choice. Like for example, go to bed with a sink full of dishes. Throw the kitchen towel over them if you have to. They will be there in the morning and you can smile and chuckle as you gingerly wash them then.
Yup I felt like Cinderella for years ☺️
Hi Danish how are you
well with all the training I am now a super housekeeper cook and gardener and DIY expert…and can spot a narc a mile away.
Very high quality workmanship…🖕🏻to them..they can’t afford me now…
Really? My hot flush had this reason..?
You saved many ones life ❤❤❤God bless you
This is the first video I've seen describing everything I've been experiencing especially in the past 18 months. Thank you for this explanation, which can help survivors towards validation of a very real experience. I was told by the abuser that I was just getting old and crazy.
This is called a light bulb moment💡
Currently my sleep comes only when am exhausted,no appetite
Leave the narc
You've got to eat, leave healthy stuff on the counter, apple, nuts, cheese, bread in olive oil and vinegar and munch, parsley, your narc's taken your strenght and your body's reacting normally, it's ok but don't be your own enemy narc will win more, keep watching and learning, this stuff's fascinating, you'll rise like a phoenix but you must stay no contact and if you can't leave show'em who they had the misfortune of screwing with, give them nothing, you gave your all and... Game over, you win you back, good luck! ❤
YOU are WORTHY... YOU are DESERVING of all GOOD
PUT your precious self FIRST
Small steps. But do it
I am crying to hear when you talk about being clumsy etc I now understand it was Never my fault it was the trauma in my body ..so sad it took this long to get over it
Thank you Danish, you doing an amazing work. All the best for all of you 👍💪
Every last one was me. Slowly things are starting to change now that he's gone. Thank goodness!!
This is so true
You Have allowed me to Reflect back in my childhood troubled home , and later into the hands of a greater narcissist, my life has always been on Fright mode ,constant mental fatigue, chronic sleep and bouts of eating disorders people pleasing self-esteem low confidence it's been such a battle.i am now almost 2years free of these creatures and my body is till trying to adjust but totally feel better and less mental fog
i was in relationship with an evil extreme narcissist for 12 years, i have struggled for 6 years to heal after that , thank you for giving me the understanding and knowledge doctor , and i will start listening to my body
You hit the nail on the head. I didn't even feel the physical pain. I'm suffering with suppressed hunger. Thoughts pile up and I can't sleep. People tell me I got to taķe better care of myself. This advice is doing me lots of good. I got
It. Now I can start looking for specific things to work on. You are such a darling helping many of us get the life we were robbed back. Knowing my parents were both narcissists answers the question why I married another narcissist. I suffered them till I was 50. Haven't healed completely. The monster is still using my kids as fawns. All the symptoms have reappeared in a slighter form . I am 67 but I intend to do all I can to get my life back. Thanks for your help. ❤
Good for you. Keep going💐
I’m 70. Just now trying to find myself after abuse my entire life. Sleeping is almost impossible still. But I’m a bit better everyday.
My husband has many of these symptoms and is in denial that his family are a big pile of narcissists. I even had him watch this video and he had nothing to say about it. He is always bumping into things. Always cold when it's hot. Is an undereater. I usually encourage him to have naps because he is SO tired! He denies so much, I feel so helpless. He won't help himself.
He *can't* help himself at this point
I've experienced the chills and heating up lots , I totally couldn't regulate my body temp, this has been happening since I was a kid , not eating as much as I need is also a problem for me , and I don't use the bathroom until late evening because I've never had my morning routine last long enough before the narcs in my life broke it . Sleeping too is an issue , I wait until I'm so exhausted that when I get into bed it's like I just pass away or slip into a coma , because if I try to sleep early , somebody tries to disturb me and wake me ( very light sleeper too so the tiniest sound makes me spring out of bed to check what's happening . Thank you for explaining these Danish
Thank you Danish. I have had and still have all you are talking about. Anorexia in the past included, can go without food all day, bumping into things, etc, etc. What worries me most is the lack of pain. I recently had a minor surgery and felt no pain at all, while I should have to. This is no good - no warning if there is a problem.
I have been away from my abuser for almost 9 years and despite therapy and even EMDR, I still struggle with temperature dysregulation, appetite issues and IBS, sleep disturbance and nightmares, and spacial awareness issues. I feel like my body isn't even mine anymore sometimes because it doesn't behave like it used to. It's awful. I really hope I one day get past most of this. Been tested for ADHD and autism and I do not have either. My life is not the same anymore. She didn't ruin me, but it often feels that way.
I do know this will sound to simple to work. Please try it. Keep asking Einsteins famous question
Is this universe a friendly place..... When we ask AND listen for and look for and notice ANYTHING friendly it atteacts more of same. Ask other questions like this as I do
Is the universe a beautiful place... A loving place. An abundant place
I have done this. Small steps forward a few back. Keep going. It will help. I PROMISE. Let me know x 💜
Family stuff got me diagnosed with major depression and anxiety. I ended up not eating, or would just not be able to keep the food down. I was also not sleeping well with constant waking up. That led to physical weakness and my being hospitalized for about a week. When I was discharged, I was still struggling. Just 3 months after the first hospital stay, I got hospitalized again, this time for a longer period. I had been doing therapy and taking meds to feel slightly better. I'm now slowly healing.
Don' t give up, knowing what it all is half the battle, I went through some stress period as a kid whereas I puked all night for 3 weeks straight, when it stopped, so proud of myself I pointed out to mom I'd gone a while since I threw up I was told not to talk about it, hun? Weird! 😊
@@joseenoel8093 Thanks. I was told not to talk about it anymore either. I´m doing better now and hope you´re doing the same. Hugs, kind stranger!
Yes, yes, yes, joint pain!!! Everywhere!! Siatica is way, way worse & my hips are acting up. One even cracks now at certain times?? Wtheck is goin on Danish? And you mentioned menopause. I was having hot flashes every day and night before I left. Then they went away since I've been away. I heard from him and I immediately got hot flashes again. Now my skin is breaking out, hair falling out and i have dark patches on parts of my skin. I'm a mess right now including the unbearable joint pain.... but I'm alive. Hopefully when I unwind all this through therapy, I will find my inner & outer shine again. 🤔💜✌🏽 Blessed 🐝
All of them
Please do a video on coping living with a narcissist because you’re a caregiver to them, eg a parent, and they’re dependent on you but still make life difficult 😢😢😢
I like your comedic commentary of this topic. Sometimes my old wounds get open when I watch some of these lives from different CC. I still learn from your lives without being traumatized.
1) CLUMSY - Not in my body, and not having awareness of my body in relation to my surroundings.
2) DELAYING BATHROOM USE - Still do this, but working on it.
3) EATING CUES - Not knowing when to stop eating was something that plagued me until several years ago. Food was my comfort, and being around narcs is SO painful, that I needed to keep eating until I could no longer stuff myself.
4) STAYING AWAKE UNTUL EXHAUSTION - Still working on this…the hardest one for me, since I don’t have any internal cues for how it feels to be well-taken care of.
All of the above. Lol
Dr. Ramani had talked about one thing which I had experienced. Your body would start protesting when you sleep. You will feel like someone is trying to choke you to death. I had felt the exact same thing during my time with the narcissistic husband. This one thing completley made it clear to me that I was being subjected to narcissistic abuse or later discard
True
I have all these. 😢 Can trauma related to living with a narcissist cause physical illness or symptoms. Like chronic headaches/ migraines. Constant Fatique. Joint pain too?😮
I had unexplained stomach bloating, constipation, skin rashes, and now am trauma bonded with my narcissistic ex who currently discarded me.
What happens when you are neurodivergent and suffer a narcissist? The problems are amplified and you become confused as to why. Wish this was posted before I went to the doctor yesterday.
Now imagine me, a bad adhd and autoimmune condition sufferer and I had to grow up with both parents malignant narcissists 😢
Every word is true. Danish is the best expert on the topic!
It led me to having seizures for 7 years absolutely horrible.
I become smoke addict at the age of 47 and now experiencing lot of pain inside my head. I am trying to get rid of her ASAP
9:49 - I was the scapegoat of the family. I don't know how to sleep. I used to stay up all night when the rest of the family was sleeping. I was always late for school because of it. I was blamed for being late. I remember this being a thing even when I was 5-6 years old. I'm 42 and I STILL have this problem. My husband and I were both raised by narc moms. We cannot sleep without being totally exhausted. Our son can fall asleep in 10 minutes. We both marvel at it.
Son's sleep condition ....is hope. Have a Lot patience and good care with yourself. 🌞👍
I was not allowed to eat much and was severely underweight, I wasn't given breakfast, lunch was a sandwich at school and dinner was mostly milk as she said I was fat. I became an anorexic for many years until I got my first job at age 16 at a supermarket and bought food for myself.
This is so true, with the false belief instilled in us that we don't deserve to eat, to rest, take care of ourselves
I constantly spill things. I'm just not watching consumed with flash backs! I have to clean all the time! ❤❤❤
I'm neurodivergent AND survived narcissistic abuse. It's a struggle.
I developed PCOS after narcisstic abuse
The first sign has been happening for the last couple of weeks to me..
Thanku Sir ❤❤❤❤❤
I used to have severe problem with body coordination while walking. The feeling is hard to describe like Im a ship in the stormy waves struggling to move forward(even though the surface is even) when everybody else are just moving confidently like gondolas in the calm canal. This strange fact made all my entrances so awkward making the impression of me as an extremely clumsy/shy/scared person perhaps and thus letting all insencere people im an easy target to fool with. These days I have problem with visiting bathroom, like, im okay but suddenly my need strikes me like lightening and i cant hold it even a second. Its 🫣but i almost got into much trouble because of this. Numerous times. And i keep selfsabotaging when i have time to go to bed earlier.
Wow. I have been suffering with almost all of what I just heard for years. Especially the past 3 years.
Yes I bump into things even if I’m familiar with the house, I don’t sleep until exhaustion. I am not aware of physical pain to the point that I was able to get a tattoo even if I have fears of injection. I have eating disorders both anorexia and bulimia. I can’t focus on what my body needs.
For me it got to the point I was getting awful heart palpitations anytime we got together or even texted. If I had lived with him I know that my waking, sleeping, eating would have been orchestrated by him.
OMG I had no idea!
😭😭 i cried my self after watching video. yes I am struggling, how can I come out
All of them in especially under eating over eating can't sleep to exhausted
😢 😢 i think it's late.. my spouse is a narcissist nd he treats me very.. 😢 im afraid...
Yours is the voice of freedom and sanity. Thank goodness for you!
All of them!
I experienced all of them and more…
💯💯💥