How to Handle Intense Emotions | Stop Getting Triggered
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- Опубліковано 2 чер 2024
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How do you handle intense emotions when you get triggered?
It's not always easy to take a step back and control your emotions when the more intense ones show up. So here we're going to talk about what to do when you're emotionally triggered so you can build your emotional intelligence and feel more confident and in charge of your reactions in any situation.
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Remember that our triggers are there to teach us about what's going on inside us. What was one of your biggest takeaways from this talk? - Julia
@In CogNito This is fantastic.
I realized I have a lot of healing I need to do and I hope that when I'm triggered again, I can use this video to not become overwhelmed by emotion as I did today.
Biggest take away is that I'm not be the only one inundated / drowning in my triggers.
Thanks for another good talk Julia.
It's encouraging to be reminded one is not alone in struggling with their own mind's foul self- narratives and judgements.
STORM is legit wisdom.
Thank you for your help.
💚
@@jaimesmith77 keep us posted on how it goes Jaime.
@@hhill2880 Happy it connected brother. And yes, we all have our stuff that we're working though. In this life no one rides for free.
When I'm triggered I feel an intense rush of adrenaline. I feel an intense need to address person and or situations. In this state, I ALWAYS go way overboard. Always regret the manner in which I do. When I just let it pass it never seems that important later and I'm VERY happy I kept quiet. Love your work. Marty
this is exactly how I feel too
When im triggered, I feel no sense of control. I feel that everyone disrespects me then antagonizes me when I try an explain how I'm feeling.
Thank you for putting a definition to my ' crazy' phase.
❤❤❤angelina
tight chest and fast heartbeat, a sense of panic
S - Stop and take a breath
T - Tune in to what you’re feeling
O - Observe what you’re thinking
R - Reframe those thoughts
M - Move into SELF-COMPASSION 💕
Thank you for summarising and highlighting as a quick tool
Thank you for posting the acronym, for a quick reference tool. 🙂👍
Thank you
That self compassion is a tough one.
I am an overthinker, who has self-abandoned and self-sabotaged in the past through flight. However, I can't keep running away from my emotions.
when i am the most triggered i overthink and obsess about things and it feels impossible to get out of that state ever
I also cry a lot when I get triggered, cuz I feel my emotions so intense and I get so overwhelmed. 😓😪 Can anyone relate?
Daughter of the King Yes, I am the same way. I cry over everything. Sometimes it’s exhausting. I wish I could get angry I stead of crying all the time 😕
@@emilychristina3172 same here 🐧❤
Total cryer....I've heard it is, in part, a body's way of releasing stress hormones
Definitely can relate sometimes I feel like I am too weak
Yeah, I feel that.
Most of the time when I get triggered I feel: rejected, abandoned, unworthy of love, attention and everything good (not good enough) 🙄❤
me too...smh
@Ann Vanggaard Seidel So true! Working on it ☺️👍🏼
also feeling like i’ll always be unworthy and things will never change is what often makes it worse. it’s like being attacked by the past and future simultaneously
Wow, read my mind!
Man I'd be getting triggered especially at work sometimes at home. That's why I always watch these videos everyday to learn how to handle it and get better. I've gotten better than how I was but still a lot to do lol.
Whenever you feel an emotion arises, be mindful, take a step back, regroup thoughts and act rationally.
Timing can make you or break you.
Amen. A moment to breathe in a moment of anger saves a thousand moments of regret.
@@juliakristinamah
Not for everybody. Only breathing alone doesn't help if I feel pointless.
What if the anger goes on for days? Somebody says something triggering (for example makes misogyny comments and says it is just a jokes even though you already told them to stop) and I feel resentment. Paradoxically I was able to stay calm in the situation, but I have to overthink afterwards what some people say.
Certainly a logical solution, but this assumes there is a gap in-between a trigger and a hair trigger reaction. To be able to even notice that gap and for that gap to be observable long enough to elicit a mindful response is the real work.
A deep sense of doom. And I can’t concentrate on anything.
I think we should be teaching this to kids at a young age. I used to be extremely reactive and aggressive when young, but by following teachings like this, I have been able to solve my anger problem.
sometimes I remember things that happened in my childhood & teenagehood that are uncalled for. It can be my older cousin threw me on to a wall and say horrible things to me while we are fighting and he got no trouble for his action because he knows all family members will be on his side including my parents. I still remember our grandparents would tell me that I must have done something wrong to provoke him to do all that, and my older cousin would smile evilly behind their back while they were talking to me. It can be when I was a teen and going through my rebellious stage, got into an argument with my mom, and she's so mad and started beating me and strangled me, I couldn't breathe and almost died if I didn't say sorry, because I remember how tight her arms around my neck and she wouldn't let go if I don't say sorry. Or that one time my dad chased me with a knife...... Now I'm 22yrs old, and these memories still haunt me and caused me anxiety and depression. But now they want to claim me because I live abroad. As I'm writing this down, my thoughts starting to get really messy... I just want to be happy and love myself again... They still hurt me this day, but I learned how to walk away.
You’re so strong I’m sorry you went through that ❤️❤️.
Sounds like we had the same childhood. I'm still trying to overcome all the physical and emotional scars and I'm in my forties!
When I am triggered it takes me back to when I grew up in my parents home and how I was talked down to, or told I would never amount to anything. Herein my adulthood I get triggered when someone says something I heard my parents tell me when I was a kid.
I am so easily triggered and it’s had such a big impact on my life. I struggle to make/keep friends and it’s physically exhausting. I’m trying so hard to work through it but it’s very hard. It’s also a hard feeling to articulate so thank you for this video. You’ve described it beautifully. I’ll keep watching this.
Glad it connected Michelle. And if you tend to get triggered easily, make a special point to really practice the self-compassion part.
Fast heart beat, pressure in chest, the need to run away or exit the conversation as fast as possible
My rational part of my mind falls apart. Totally collapses
I hear you brother.
Julia Kristina Counselling just remember, you’re giving people a superb service by doing these videos. And I hope you’re looking after yourself too. People forget Therapists have their struggles too, if not more 💜💜
A few days ago I was being rebuked by someone and for some moments I thought I couldn't breathe, it was like someone had put a huge rock on my chest. I felt like crying my heart out. I felt terrible...
What thoughts or beliefs did being rebuked bring up in you?
@@juliakristinamah I knew that the person who rebuked me was showing their own insecurities and I wasn't at fault but at that moment all those words made me feel low and unworthy.
Emotions are messengers which communicate to us how in alignment we are with our true self. Negative emotions hold so much importance if we learn how to utilise the information they hold without become consumed by the emotion.
My tears come with so much sense of being ignored and more importantly being scapegoated even when I choosing mature response. My anger and contempt about people who gaslight me is mixed with utter powerlessness
Hi Julia,
I had a trigger the other day, I was on my way to a new hiking trail to shake it off...but as I got there, I sat in the parking lot trying to talk myself into going to get frozen yogurt and screw the hike...lol I forced myself to do the hike, ( knowing it would release feel good endorphins ) I pressed on with determination, as soon I got near the trees...and felt the coolness of the area, the alivness of these trees welcome me...the BEAUTIFUL🌞 sunny day, the sand on this trail was real white sugar sand...( my focus has shifted quickly) then I found a cool spot to sit down in this firm section of the sugar sand in the trees with the sun on my face and listening to my headphones..with cool India meditation music, I started to take deep breaths through my nose and out through my mouth...sitting with my legs crossed, hands & fingers touching my thumb & middle finger with palms up & open....then I visualized all these bad things coming out of each chakras, replacing it with Love flowing throughout my body to all my chakras & Organs...( I used streams of hearts) towards the end I envisioned me as a little girl and the adult me giving her a hug & holding her...tears released. ( this was the first time I've ever mediated, quite the mind and visualized...it was GREAT I had a FANTASTIC time - left the 2 mile hike feeling great- plus so glad I did not do the frozen yogurt topped with Reese's chocolate chips. ) I'm going today to do it again, just for enjoyment and do more meditating as it slows down the fraying in your telomeres, so you live longer. ( great video, loved it!! Thank you )
This is really beautiful. It's so powerful when we take the time to sit and connect with ourselves.
Wow, what a wonderful thing. Good for you.
My name is Steven. I appreciate the feeling that I can learn to mindfully decode my emotional confusion. I respect your selfless reaction to the modern world.
Thank you
I have a borderline disorder and a major depression, so, my reactions to these emotions are always explosive, terrible. I scream, I break the furniture, I hurt myself in many ways, I cry until I cant breath.... But of all of the motivational bullshit that I've seen online, like "be positive, it's only up to you!", man, I hate those things. But your advices are practical. They seem to help to deal with the crisis at the moment it happens. This might sound funny, but I'll probably have one today, since I'll be exposed to a situation that triggers me in many ways. I will try the "storm" approach. I wrote it on a post-it and will carry it with me today. I'll come to tell you how it goes, cos it might work for some people, but I'm always on the edge of collapse, the things I feel on my body, nothing has helped me so far. And yes, I go to therapy and take lots of medications. Just saying that I like your approach, it seems realistic without that useless toxic positivity that we see everywhere.
I know this sounds simple but breathing exercises Really help.... they send message to your brain, it is SAFE to calm down.....Cold showers do same.....it is crazy, but it is Science.....really works.......... ( REM) rapid eye moment therapy works to.... I was having an anxiety attack about a problem and I followed the UA-cam video. And it really worked! You follow a ball bouncing back-and-forth and create your eyes to move laterally left to right........... just tips or tools you can try........ wishing you great success.......
Thank you so much for taking the time to share! ❤
I will test this out. When I get triggered I feel a sense of panic, I feel tense in my whole body, esp. Thightness in my chest and neck, I get shaky, I get really cold and sometimes really hot, I get hyper vigilant. I zone out, shortness of breath, lightheaded. It get worse if I'm not able to calm myself down.
🦓 lots of love to all my fighters out there that suffer with anxiey, depression, PTSD and CPTSD ❤
Amazing stuff not just for emotional management but anger management which is exactly what I’s looking for
Great to hear from you that the person who gets triggered is the issue. Most people portray it as if the person who gets triggered is some kind of victim. The person probably was a victim in the past, but now creates a lot of trouble with their toxic behavior.
Julia Kristina, I noticed that "freeze" isn't included in the first 3 minutes at least of this video in with "Fight or Flight". Many years ago my Counsellor told me to include "Freeze" in with fight or flight, similar to what many rabbits do when they hear a noise/feel threatened because I tend to do this and I wasn't aware of this until she mentioned this too me. And now after paying closer attention to my physical feelings like you advise, I notice that my fingers actually tingle like they're numb, my breathes are very shallow making me somewhat short of breath, I clench my teeth painfully tight, my shoulders go stiff, I feel spaced-out, I get a ringing in my ears, and sometimes a heavy sinking-feeling in my gut. I wanted to mention this in case anyone else gets these same sensations when they become triggered.
Thank You so very much Julia for all that you do for us. You have helped me sooooo very much more than seeing several Counsellors in person over the years because you are always right here in front of me whenever I need you to help me become grounded again, and/or to re-boot my memory about ways I can help myself without me needing to drag out books or paperwork when I'm feeling triggered, etc. BLESS YOUR HEART my Fellow-Canadian Girl.
When I get triggered, my fists feel like their burning, my heart beats faster and tears become almost like a frog in my throat... I love your acronym, stop, tune in, observe, reframe, move into self-compassion... You are simple, straight-forward, it really helps being able to apply it right away!
Thank you and sharing to my fb page... Thanks!
So glad it connected sis - and thank you for sharing it - I appreciate it and you.
These past months when i get triggered, i start panicking a lot, and i rapidly feel a sense of urgent scream, my mind starts racing and i feel a sense of abandonment. The reason i say these past months is because due to many things i regret doing and the people i lost, my mental health went spiraling down. But i hope i get stronger and better!
One of those vids to watch over and over again and maybe take 1 thing to practice at a time..immediate takeaway for me..is the understanding what the deep breaths interrupts or enables..i.e.interrupts the thought pathway to let the body access the logical part of my brain to respond instead of react. This revelation makes me approach meditation in AM and PM with more consistency because of the gift I'm giving to my brain..
Hi my name is Laura, I believe the feeling that I have is fear fear of abandonment rejection not good enough it's overwhelming
Laura
Same here. It came from my parents divorce when I was 8. My Dad left state and I barely saw him or talked to him for 8 years. It was a huge trauma. My boyfriend of two years broke up suddenly a year ago. I’ve struggled with Anxiety ever since. Today was a really bad day. I think I’m trauma bonded to him.
Choosing to not give a thought or a situation your energy can help. Given energy things grow. It’s like the reframing Julia talked about.
I felt rejection in my whole body and just completely alone
When I realize that I'm having an emotional reaction, I cry, I'm humiliated, I feel inadequate and ugly. It makes me angry!! This happens to me when I'm in a situation of feeling cornered. I don't know how to not react this way.
what would it be like if you tried the STORM process?
@@juliakristinamah, exactly. I'm going to try this and teach it to nineteen year old. We both need.
I get enraged when triggered to anger as just fought a battle and did well but the emotion behind it is very difficult to go through.
Being self critical is definitely a deep one. You are so compassionate.
I used that experience as an opportunity for more self love, positive self talk and I tried to keep my self-esteem high because I want to be stable in spite of what anybody does.
I want to be the same which is loving myself
YES SISTER!! This is everything and the cornerstone of what I believe are the most important things we all need to be working on.
Julia, you are great! Thank you. 😊❤️
Thx again. I try to wake up with prayer. And to have a positive out look on life by listening to positive wisdom. I listen to you speak on things that do effect me. I pray for you wonderful and helpful success😊
Felt like I was being attacked. Like I had to fight. Yes like I was being rejected and controlled. Widdled away. Like wood. And it was invasive of the person who was talking to me and I told them. And they just confirmed that it was in my head. I was being gas lit.
Thanks Julia this couldn’t have come at a better time I’ve been feeling so anxious over something small really x
I am having difficulty controlling my emotions whenever my partner and I are having conversation of what I did. Every time that we are having a conversation about it, I wanted my partner to feel secure and it wont happen again, but I always ended up answering my partner in a sarcastic way cause I feel attacked.
I will try STORM when that conversation comes again.
Thank you for this video, Julia.
Thank you so much for this video. It was very helpful, like all your other videos. Thank you so much for all you do for us. ❤️
Getting triggered goes right to gut and a tightness in my chest. Thank you for the tools.
So helpful!! Thank you!
Always Ana - thanks for being here.
You’re a wonderful gift for our lifes. Thanks so much 🙏
Hello Kristina, we're teaching a bible study series on emotional health entitled "Seeking Wholeness", and I've found your videos very helpful.
Thanks for this great information
Great advise👍 thank you. Below a recap:
S = STOP and TAKE a DEEP slow belly BREATH with a slow excel will help slow your body right down and relax...
T= ...TUNE in to what you're feelings: what's going on; what happened there, what was I feeling in that moment, why did I get trigger, why did I have that response?
O= ...OBSERVE what you're thinking, so what ever it is that happened in that moment you had a thought that felt threatening, what are the thoughts that were going through your head. How did your brain interpret what ever it was that was happening. Than once you understand those thoughts that are creating those emotions and actions in us than take a little step back and consider other thoughts, we choose to think on purpose...and we...
R= ...REFRAINS those thoughts. Reminding ourselves to what ever that is, choosing a different thoughts, refraining those thoughts into something that is more helpfull, more productive, that is going to allow us to respond to that situation instead of react...and than...
M= ... MOVE IN to self compassion; understanding for yourself. Do not judge or be hard on yourself but understand that if there are things that are hidden, deeper wounds that takes time to heal & move these stuffs and be present with what is happening in the present instead of reacting to the past.
Thanks so much for this. Lockdown has had a huge effect on our emotions. Shared with my teenagers and friends xx
Keep up this amazing work! All the best to you !! 😀
Great content! Thank you
Thank you SO much !!!
am not gonna lie, you’ve been a great help to me personally. I’ve accepted you as my personal therapist and counselor
Thank you
Thanks again Julia 😘
Watching this video again & sharing the "STORM" acronym with a friend who asked me to share with her✊
Thank you for always having the best advice. .
Hi Julia.......Great session ....first class advice and consul......Thanks so much...!!!!!
Be proud of yourself....you're looking to be a better calmer person 💕 you're here so you're making progress! I hope all your wounds heal. 💟
Thanks for this sis.
Just what I needed, thank you ❤️
Always 💜
I gotta say is that my heart races everyday and sometimes when you publish an video on UA-cam I watch it every night before I go to bed and I tell you right after I watch your vids I feel like a new man and that's a big ty to you my friend...I really appreciate this video and you so ty sm
Perfect and a nice way to remember when your in the storm....and this will allow you not to be in the Strorm so long!!!!! Thanks so much
Thankyou. Storm!
Hi Julia, this was an amazing video talk I came across today, about how to handle intense emotions, feelings, and thoughts. I have listened to it several times now, really trying to imprint it in my mind. I have written down the acronym for it, and will try to keep it at hand to refer to it. I am quite excited to see if I can think to use this acronym, and action it, to see if it will help me, to control the triggers, of the intense overwhelming feelings, emotions and thoughts that come into my head, that absorb me at times, more so, when I'm alone.
Bless you, thank you! ❤
This is helpful . Thanks
I had to listen to this one again I'm glad it just popped up on my UA-cam I must not have listened very good the first time I guess sometimes my depressions are so great I can't focus but something triggered me yesterday people can be just rotten they are not my fault thanks again Julia
Superb ! So valuable 🙏❤️. Thanks from Belgium
Thanks for this video, I appreciate your words and methods. I do take your teachings into account and they have helped. 🥰
Wonderful subject! I always love learning more about emotions and feelings. Also, I think is important to learn how to transmute emotions. Andrew Kenneth Fretwell in his book, Emotional Alchemy the Love and Freedom Hidden within Painful Feelings teaches how to do that. Here is a quote: “Emotional Alchemy allows us to turn pain into wisdom, fear into courage, and sadness into compassion.’’
Thank you for this
Like i told Julia, you're the advisor that i've got. Thanks for teaching me a lot of lessons
Just listened to your 10 minute guided mindfulness audio and not only am I completely calm but my cat really enjoyed it as well. Thanks from both of us.
I am caught at work at this moment. I let something slide last night instead of expressing my feelings about the situation. And I am right now stuck in a vicious cycle of over thinking and adrenaline boosts, an intense fire in my chest has been burning for over a half hour. So hard to break the cycle but I'm working on it.
Julia, I just started to subscribe to you and have found your videos really helpful. You explain things so well. Thanks.
Take away: STORM. Amazingly helpful acronym for working with triggering as an opportunity for connecting with self in a healthy way while not making things worse within relationships with others. Looking forward to the guided mindfulness meditation. Thank you.
You are a blessing and simply the best. The way you explain these things is 100% how I need to hear it, to be able to process it through my system. Clear, straight to the point, humerous at times, loving and caring without that ‚Psycho Sweet Talk‘.
Thank you so much for talking to me as if you were a true friend. That really helps.
Great video! I’ve been going through anxiety all day. It’s been hard to stay on top of it. This video is right on time.
Thank you so much.
Most appreciated!
I'm so glad it was helpful Lucy - good for you for being willing to invest in yourself and do this work.
U told exactly my situation in video.. please make some more
Thanks for offering such great information. :)
Always friend.
Perfect timing!
so glad.
Thank you for this informative video. I have a 7year old son that feels intense emotions and through observing him and trying to understand what he feels I’ve managed to see that I suffer from the exact same thing all my life and have been criticised all my life by people around me and as a result I’m very much wounded and feel ashamed and I really don’t want my child to go through the same and I’m going to make sure that we both follow the Storm acronym to learn to manage our intense emotions and not feel so bad about them.
One of the most helpful things I've watched. Thanks for making this video and assisting me with tools to make my life better.
Thank you!
I needed this video as it provided me with perspective. TFS💛
Really glad it helped in the way you needed most 💜
Julia, I Thank you so much. This information is crucial for us to start healing the wounds of the past.
Thank you so much it really helped
i just love that part of you which is so compassionate towards humans. i can feel that compassion fromyour voice mam.
You’re so articulate and it’s obvious you care deeply about getting to the core of the topics you touch on. 💛
I became close to a new sister in law. One day out of the blue she started giving me the cold shoulder and I spent hours going over in my mind what I might have done or said to her to offend her. I moved on and put it out of my mind until I got a message from her that was intended for someone else. I sent her a politely worded message back and I got a cold, non appolagetic message back. I felt angry. Then it happened again later and boom I get triggered by her again. Listening to this video by you I realized that I was triggered by past rejections including being rejected years ago by another person in the family who shunned me when I married her brother who had dumped her best friend for me. The two 'meanies' had ganged up on me, how childish is that? However Now I know what to work on within myself. THANK YOU SO MUCH💝
Whatever it is your going through, you have the strength to overcome it. You are more powerful than you think ♡
Love this.
@@juliakristinamah ♡♡♡
AMEN!!!
@@catherinewacker141 sending love your way Catherine :) ♡
@@ErikaK Awe Thank You! Very touching to wake up and see a message of Love and support, when all of us Thrivers need it most. Love, Light and Peace to you❣️
I want to thank you for ALL the great advice. Your professional presentation and scaffolding of each segment makes it easy to grasp for any educational level. You have helped awaken my courage, motivation and resilience. My health & family have let me down-I didn’t think I could rise from that. Now I am on a new chapter of my life. As a retired (due to health issues: disabled) Art Teacher, I had lost my love to create due to depression on account of my failing health, family drama and lack of emotional support. Since retiring, I live alone in a new city. In effort to re-capture my passion for art, and love of life, I’m working on myself. I want to be more courageous, motivated, optimistic, creative/artistic/passionate for art and most importantly to love myself because I deserve it. I also suffer from Childhood PTSD due to physical & psychological abuse-gaslighting by stepmom, dad & other members of my SOOO called family.
I am part of your Good For Me-Facebook page and
I have signed your waiting list to attend your next seminar 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼
👏👏👏👏👏🥰🌹🌞❣️
This video made me cry in a good way. Releasing stuff.
Good sounding, grounding, advice. Shared.
Thanks friend - I really appreciate it and you.
Another great video Julia Kristina. When I work with clients. I have them do something close to this. Thank you for another tool for me to use to help others. Thank you for being a blessing to so many.🙏
Really glad you found it helpful my friend.
Yes! Thank you for giving an easy, step by step, applicable SOLUTION. So many videos on self awareness and help only dive into why someone is feeling triggered, but not on what can be done to aid it. So many thanks!
So glad you got what you were looking for. Glad you're here Nathalie.
This video is right on time. I really needed this at this exact moment. Thank you
So glad it connected in the right way sis.
@@juliakristinamah grateful for you ❤
@@jaimesmith77 right back at you sis.
Love the advice.
Happy you found it helpful.
This helped me so much
I’m always looking forward to hearing your advice, every one of your videos is a genuine treasure! I don’t get triggered very often, but I definitely know what it’s like to experience intense emotions from time to time. I hope you’re having a lovely week so far 😊❤️
Thanks friend. Good to connect with you.
@@juliakristinamah You are absolutely welcome friend. I appreciate it very much :)
Thank you! You really helped me
You're welcome friend. Glad you're here.
Pit in my stomach/nausea. Wow. You are so helpful. I am so glad I found you.
I really needed this today. I've been unwell for months and have been trying to live an ordinary life despite this. Whenever my family or friends ask me about how I am it triggers the anger I have about the illness, despite the fact I know it's my loved ones caring about me. I just struggle to get over that trigger of being reminded about the illness, and need to work on controlling the outbursts
Do you do any mindfulness or breath work Harry?
Hi Julia i have watched alot of your videos, i love them, they are clear and very informative, and very helpful for me, i also share them with other people