Letting Go of The Past: How To Stop Repeating the Past
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- Опубліковано 30 тра 2024
- You may be repeating past mistakes and getting stuck in the same pattern over and over again because you keep reacting to the present as if it's the past, which ultimately keeps you stuck in the past. In this video I'm going to teach you how to stop living in the past and reacting to the past so you can have the present and future you want most.
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What was one of your takeaways from this talk. I'd love to hear.
Don't get stuck in the past. If you fail at something, rethink your plan or try a new angle.
Hi. What happens if your partner won't let you move on?
Every SHIFT counts, regardless of how small it is!
I was reminded of an old saying. "You can't bowl 300 every time." I guess this means you don't have to claim you''ll never bowl 300 just because you never have.
@@susanwhaley370 do they need to let you in order for you to move on?
'You didn't know you were allowed to have your own thoughts about you.' Now that is magic.
Really glad this connected.
I love your messages! One of my favorite ladies that I follow says "Let your dreams be bigger than your memories" and I love that. We need to look forward to new goals and accomplishments.
That's a great saying - I love. it.
Hi, my name is John and I have been stuck in the past for a long time now. I’ve had a lot of negative experiences with people in the past and so it caused me to be defensive and withdrawn. Although recently I have made an effort to be more sociable and People are starting to reciprocate.
Sometimes you need a change in your environment, not just your thoughts and behaviour, for where I currently live is constantly reminding me of the past.
Shout out to all the dudes here learning and trying to be their best selves. And the women taking accountability for their mistakes and trying to be better. Y'all make the world a better place.
I’ve been needing this discussion for a long time
Glad you're here for it. What connected?
Yes, I really need to let go of the past!!!! ❤️❤️❤️
@@juliakristinamah From the beginning. Particularly, "What you attempted didn't work. What can you learn from this. Not you're always this way." This is a paradigm shift. As they say, There's nothing more powerful than an idea whose time has come. Human beings have agency and the ability to change.
So true! I used to think I was always wrong. Then my motto became "Sometimes I'm right" and I felt better.
Ah!! I love this Karen. That thought is so much more helpful.
I swear this is like I'm having a 1 on 1 with you.
Tbh I rarely say this but this channel needs more attention.
She is giving you quality advice that someone would charge you a lot of $ for. All you have to do is listen and apply it to your life situation...
This is something I have a lot of trouble doing because I tend to take things personally even when I shouldn’t!! I hope you have an awesome rest of your week 💗
This does take work Admir. Start with getting curious about the thoughts you have that try to make you believe it's personal.
@@juliakristinamah Thank you so much for the advice, I’ll try to make a list of the thoughts I have that lead me to that conclusion!!
Admir Barucija hello I was on this channel that I follow sometimes and looking through the comments I seen your name and straight away come here I'm kinda new to this channel and video but I'm always looking max watching videos to so with health problems good to see you here as usually see you on kati Morton s channel also this video reminds me of myself alout and I relate to your comment aswell I am often thinking about my past things I did or said to people to cut it short my past the things I went through is the reason for my mental health now so I hate my past hope you are well tale care x
Thanks for not being one of those people who are all about law of attraction. You’re a realist and that’s what I like about your videos!
This is what I needed today. I'm struggling with the past and letting go of it which in turn creates bad behaviors that I take out on people I love and it pushes them away. They don't want me around, then I'm in a position where I isolate. I'm working on myself and I'm determined to change. And it doesn't happen overnight like Julia Kristine states
Actually, times are very hard now. I keep thinking ang living on those times where I was genuinely happy, and lost focus on the present. I’m basically stuck in nostalgia. I’m trying to accept things the way they are now and face the present and let the past become the past. Thank you so much for this video 🤍
"Every shift counts." My
new reminder (affirmation)
Yassss!
@@juliakristinamah thank you for your continued support.
You're the best thing on UA-cam right now. Thank you for your thoughtful content.
You are so kind Julie - thanks for sharing your light.
I do things that makes me happy.
Bumped into your channel a couple of weeks ago and started to listening to your messages over and over. Finally saying here “hello”, since this message is just what I needed to hear right today. Thanks so much for your excellent work sharing your knowledge and your beautiful positive energy. Saludos from Spain!
Hey! Glad you're here and thanks for saying hello. I hope you're doing well in all this.
I've had many, exotic, "no me, I'm whole & complete, I'm FREE, this is it, I'm GOD, JESUS CHRIST, the Abolute, Infinity, NO THING, Enlightenment" experiences, beliefs & realities....yet they come, then go away, leaving me (the Ego/person) almost as CRIPPLED as before the exotic event. Your teachings offer much more than what I've found so far. Thank you.
I've gone through some of these titles and I'm dealing with many of the issues your talking about. This one here is definitely a big part of my life. I'm stuck with a strong bitter heart unfortunately. So I'm looking and trying solutions as best I can.
i need this. i was looking for something that i could use to my current situation and this video appeared on my notifications. this helped a lot. thank you.
Awesome Alliyah. What connected with you most in the talk?
Hey it's Shannon thank you for your help and support 😌🤠
Changing the thought pathway is similar to riding a bike through a forest on a muddied road. Before we know it we are in and taken to the same path that our wheels just fit. To ride on a new path we have to consciously return to this spot when we are in no hurry, investigate if it is better and why should we change, clear to make it a safe and enjoyable oath to ride through and ride through it. Consciously riding through many times when we are in no hurry. One day we might unconsciously pick this new path. It is a game to test our determination more than anything. And it makes life exciting.
Thanks. I am your fan.
My beliefs have been so much whacked for so long !!! Lots of work to do but nice to understand where my beliefs have come from
The amount of segmented value jam packed in almost every sentence when breaking down the problem>solution, was F''n amazing to hear & absorb. You are awesome
Liked this video before I even watched it cus you give great advice. I noticed a shift in my pessimism and told myself that I'm proud of what I've accomplished even if that's walking away from toxic relationships. I'm more positive about the way I think about myself. It's been a struggle cus I started doubting myself all over again today and then ended up journaling. Cus sometimes our brain jumbles things and yes we do self sabotage. Its soo hard but I keep trying to tell myself that I will get me better.
I Julia Christina, I’m Shawn. I signed up on the waiting list for the shift society. Can’t wait! You are really helping me with your videos :)
I believe it's about not taking things too much seriously. It's about not giving too much importance to our incarnation itself. When you start to think that you are important or worthy, you have the pressure to achieve everything as if it would be the end of the world if that didn't.
But once you don't say anything about you anymore, about the value of your existence, the things in every fields on your journey will be easier to experience. It's essential to see everything as an experience, not more than an experience either good or bad. It's about the detachment with the analytical consciousness or ego that wants to control everything but apart from being exhausted, you won't get anything from It. The manifestations that appear come from another plane of consciousness, that one already knowing the possibilities that exist. Because I believe that nobody creates one's reality but implements something that is already done in another plane of consciousness.
And in this plane, there are no failures, no mistakes, no achievements because everything is seen as an experience irrespective of being good or bad.
This plane is like a cold computer with all the experiences you are supposed to do. It seems to be esoteric but I believe that it works like this. That's why it's essential to detach from everything and rather see us like actors who play a script that is already created. But as we don't know the outcomes, we play and we will see...
I really needed to hear this one! Thank you:) i would love one day for you to do a video on aging without fear. I find the older i get the more afraid i get of aging/being old and it really makes me afraid of the future and uncomfortable in the present as the days go by.
Hello Julia. My name is Jeremy Scott and am glad to be here. Thank you for your videos.
Hi JKC
I was not born with a manual that told me how to navigate as a human being,
but your clear words and wisdom are a great help and inspiration I do not want to be without.
Thanks for this awesome video!
Much of the narrative of my life was shaped by my Mum- she was unhappy, reactive, and bitter about her own Past and perceived unjustices she continued to harbor resentment about. My Mum said things to me that one should never say to a child: " you're a failure", " you'll never amount to anything", and worst of all , " I wish you had never been born". I was often the scapegoat for her feelings- or made to feel that way. My Late Husband , also blamed me for his own unhappiness- when I had nothing to do with whatever he blaming me for. It has been a cycle in my life and I have continued to feel as though I am not worthy, or a "failure". Since my husband died, I have done more for myself than ever before- taken on new tasks and am building confidence in myself- one brick at a time. I can see my reaction to stress and triggers that often want to engage my brain in old patterns of behavior- not saying I am successful at every turn but I can see that there is still work to do , on myself- and despite procrastination attempting to sideline me ( and it does )- I have to do for myself- because NO ONE is coming to save me.
I have to listen to this video eleven more times. This is Gold!
'Our thoughts create our feelings, which drive our choices and behaviours, which then create our outcomes and our reality' Wow!!! Life changing realization
I’ve been trying to accept the past and move on. I am 64 years and all my life I have struggled emotionally with my childhood, I have post traumatic stress from physical experiences I suffered with stepmom (she still does not own her actions-which makes me look like a liar-and all my steps “8 grown people” hate me). My distant domineering father was worse. These childhood traumas still make me cry and become depressed. I have many acquaintances but, NO friends on account of trust issues. I live alone, I stay to myself and no one knows my pain.
I am a retired HS Art teacher
and I know better but, I allowed myself to become soooo depressed on account of several surgeries that left me
disabled and always in pain-I don’t take pain meds, so I became a destructive person to myself.
I am a warrior, former 🇺🇸 Air Force Sargent, High School Art teacher for 15 years, I helped many students and now I want to help myself. I am texting you from a drug & alcohol rehab center. I allowed myself to become an alcoholic as I was self medicating with tequila, brandy, and vodka. I looked at myself in the mirror and did not like what I became. I detoxed with the help of Veteran Healthcare In Fresno (great staff) and they’ve sent me to Berkeley-New Bridge Foundation for 30-90 days. I will be fine I’m sure because of my shift in mindset🥰🎼🎵🎶🏆.
You’re a great inspiration to me🥰. I love you, thank you soooo much for being you and helping me. Forever grateful 😘‼️
Julia's teaching really does help doesn't it? I'm sorry to hear you suffer today from the memories of your childhood. I have similar and I am 52 so I 'get it'. Pushing past the past is hard work. I wonder if your being in the air force means you have a better grasp of building muscle power (mental or physical) than most of us, that may be a string to your bow. All the best with the rehab programme. Wishing you well.
Relief and gratitude.
Absolutely. This is a nightmare. Thank you for your help.
Excellent video. Needed to hear this more than ever. I was constantly being told growing up that I was a screw up, worthless, would never amount of anything and....I have been fighting that narrative in earnest for the past 15 years. Some days are easier, others it seems I can't get those voices to shut up but it shows how powerful our past life events can influence us. My biggest issue is I will often try to do things starting with the mindset that things will be different but having to fight the past experiences and the expectation that it will end the same so why bother.
It's hard but as they say, better to try and fail than no try at all.
This video really hit home. You've helped me more than you know. Thank you so much. 🙂
I realized the length of your videos are approximately the length of my attention span for psychological sessions! 15-20 minutes.
I've just been questioning myself "Why am I always like this?" then your video just popped up. Thank you so much Julia. I don't know how many times I realized that I've been doing harm to myself just because I watch your videos. This helps me a lot. Take good care 🤗
Change is inevitable and it doesn’t have to be a bad thing.
A sincere and heartfelt "Thank you"!
Changing thought, changes how we feel, changes how we show up.
Love it!
Thank you Julia!
Most important putting the woowoo stuff on hold
I am feeling this right now, my Dad passed away a little over a month ago, so I have had to reconnect with my older brother, as we both lost our dad and I have found that his past is dictating and repeating . I have noticed its triggered my old narratives, and I call myself out within this, and am working through these things. I am having a hard time with trying to heal through my grief of my dad, to deal with how burdened my brother is and how he is repetitively living in the past, I know he is grieving, yet how he communicates with me, how he treats me, during this time, is what I have already worked on within myself. His inability to hold himself accountable, how he projects, jumps to conclusions, he's setting himself up for self-sabotage but within this grieving we both are experiencing, I am feeling so defeated. I know my place, I don't tell him what to do, or anything as I am sharing in this sense, the video really pointed out more for myself to understand of myself, and what I am observing/witnessing of him... Thank you for all the information you provide, really helps me grow, in understanding myself and where I still need work.
Hello, I’m Jeremy. I have been dealing with violent intrusive thoughts the past 2 months. Thank you for helping me. I love to hear all the new videos 🥺
Glad you're here - welcome Jeremy.
excited about the video!
binge watching your videos omg it's like you read my mind. i love u 💕
Julia thanks for your advice,
your the best.
You always get to the point and hit the nail on the head with my problems.
Keep doing what you're doing.
Julia i just discovered you and your delivery of every messages is always so on point! Merci!!!
So good. Thank you!
I really enjoy your videos. They're very informative and you easily and clearly communicate the issues and possible solutions.
Thank you for this video
All so true.
Thank you for this self care quanta.
It gets to me too slowly , but it gets to me.
That i can move on from things but its so hard because I always relive the moments
So many golden nuggets from this video. Thank you!
Hi Julia ... just had you pop into my selections on utube this past week ... wanted to say how happy I am to have found you and your insights ... a two year path back from a narcissistic abusive relationship and I’m ready to take these new steps ... such growth and almost grateful for having gone through it all as I’m now that much stronger for it ... more to do !! Glad I found you ! Keep it up ☺️🙏
Thank you. Great video!
Just so well put 🙌🏼 Thank you for addressing this and your great content.
My fave one from this is ‘every shift counts regardless of how small it may be’ affirmation
Thank You For Sharing ❤
I really like your perspective!
Thank you so much for this. Funny, I listened to this video a few months ago. Listening again really opened my eyes to what I’ve been doing over and over.
These make sense, thank you.
Thank you for giving me these opportunities to finally break free and live.
Timely video for me. I've been struggling with getting up in the morning lately and I've started noticing that my frustration with myself makes it really tempting to start telling myself how this always happens.
I'm gonna keep an eye on that and try to resist the temptation.
Great explanation of how what we tell ourselves often reinforces the very behaviour that we want to change.
Soooooo much stuck with me in the video!! Thank you!!!!
Thank you so much... I think I shall listen to this one a few times. I sent you an email recently, for the first time. It became quite a long ramble as I all the process to unravel itself. I'm struggling with letting go of someone who has a low self esteem of his own, while his inability to take care of himself leaves me feeling not worthy.
To explain:
I have been the only bread winner in my house, as independent mother of 2 children. While my over 9 year relationship, which I'd hoped would be well on our way to building our future by now... he has depended on me to sustain all his needs the entire time. He is 13 years my senior and just messes about while I work over time to take care of everyone.
He has been gone for 2 months now, still staying close enough to have me at arms reach when he needs something.. I am slowly allowing this hold on me to unleash its grip on my perspective of the world. Grateful to not have to feel resentful through all the hours of me working hard, while he is playing with fun graphics or sorting his files on the computer, cos he can and has time when I cant.. Your video about boundaries has really hit home there... I choose to rather disappoint than to feel resentful.. I have to let go of everything I have give as I did it out of choice. This is a daily release and will forever be that way, giving more away.
Why I find myself rambling here (and I hope you find the email too) is that now that he has himself set up in a commune with free board and lodging, as he is very good at being useful around people who will take care of his needs. He tells me "I cant afford to be with you"... When I went to the ends of the earth to afford all his needs just to be with him. I value him and cos he does not value himself, his manner of treating me, also does not value me.
I don't know how to not see it as a reflection of my self value too.
My mind can see how this just is the way he is.. he works hard but does not have the capacity to strive to earn those things.. He is trapped in his own demise.. which no longer is mine. While my heart cries out, "was I not worth the effort for him to take care of his own needs just to be around without costing me" ... now I see him from afar.. and still this feeling lingers.
Taking one day at a time to heal..
This is enough of a reveal. I shall listen to your videos more.. ah, next up, how to get over resentment.
I feel that by expressing this publicly, there are many who experience the same thing, so by addressing one tough challenge and calling it out to consciously shift. By doing this, each time, we shift an opening for others to release it more easily.
Thank you for living your passion. You are amazing!
Julisa
Great episode. I really needed to understand this. Thank you.
I let my past shape my future. That connected with me the most. Great video Julia!
Thank you so much for this video. I’m particularly finding patterns in my thinking at the end of relationships. I’m starting to make links between things that happened in my childhood and the people I seek out as an adult. My go to thought is always ‘I am unloveable’ and I’m trying to challenge this. It doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt but it’s a start. ❤️
Thank you, I needed this today
Thank You Julia for the awesome video. I always feel so good after watching one of your videos. All the best to you and your family 🙏😇
So much resonated, I live in the past a lot of the time . Learning new things abd fresh bin the shift society, what a blessing. I just have so much to work on and I’m going to let Julia and gee team lead the way to make the shifts I need to quit just existing abs connect back with my grown boys who want nothing to do with me and yet I completely understand why they don’t. Thank you Julia
Good stuff. Thanks.
thank you .....enjoy your weekend
Thank you, I needed to hear this. The old past tapes are making me miserable.
Thank you for those open ended questions to challenge self defeating thoughts, narrative. I’ve been on edge as it’s “always” negative feedback from others. I try to be my own cheerleader for the most part.
Sorry I was a day late. I’m a newbie. I’ve listened to at least 6 of your talks today. I’ve learned such a great deal. This is so me!
Amazing! The clarity you have & how you explain every topic is excellent. First time I have felt someone totally understands what I am struggling with. Have done so much healing work and Cognitive Dissonance is where I am stuck right now.... going back n forth. Really would like to join your The shift society ..... pls open some spaces soon. Urgently need it. I am so glad to have found you Julia. 💞
Thank you... I'm here...
Glad you're here Tammy.
This is great! So true. I beat myself up about mistakes in the past often but lately I've been trying to shift and analyze that thinking. It is very hard to change that thinking, but I'm going to keep trying to change the narrative, yay
Thank you!! Your videos are very helpful ☀️💞
This is fascinating
Love your insight and the way you communicate it Julia very authentic and transparent lve been a counsellor myself for over 20yrs
Awesome Julia, keep up the good work!
Thanks Julia 🙏😇💛
you have been very helpful.
Can't say how much of an eye opener this video was, and how much of it resonated. Many thanks for this truly game-changing insight. Definitely looking forward to discovering more of your content...
Thanks Julia
Thank you for addressing the thoughts drive actions equation. The current trendy mantra is "It's none of your business what other people think you you"; this may look good on a t - shirt, but it is not realistic. People are going to form opinions about us, no matter how we behave; we can try to be pleasant, polite, etc. and people, for their own reasons, may not like us; in an ideal world, humans can act with politeness and civility even to people they despise. But, this is not an ideal world. If someone dislikes us, there is a good chance they will not treat us well. Wouldn't it be better to say, " I can't do much to control what other people think of me." Of course, Dale Carnegie is probably rolling over in his grave at what I've written.
Thanks for the content, very good topic.
Really glad it connected Gary. What resonated with you most?
@@juliakristinamah I would say you have to learn to let go of the past to have a future.
That has made so much sens! I need to listen again though lol, its like my brain understood it but needs to "shovel the path again and again to keep it clear"...Thank you Julia
Very helpful presentation. The willingness to be aware about your personal phycology plus guidance from people like yourself is undeniably positive
Love all your help
Wow - I realize that I have had rules that I didnt have to have... You are helping people.
Thank You For Sharing ❤️ 🥺
Thank you Julia, it is a super helpful video.
I thought my recent calmness to recent upsetting events was me not caring, but no, I was very present and it's my brain not freaking out/getting anxious, but keeping calm. U r right, I had diminished it, but it's important THANKS JULIA XOXO
Your videos are so good. Thank you.
Hello from Michigan. This has helped me so much so thank you
Hi Julia! Hi everyone! I just found your content, Julia. Thank you for all you do.
Interesting talk
I love your channel!!