Thanks to the sponsors of this episode! www.manscaped.com/ use code TIMD magicspoon.com/timdillon use code TIMDILLON www.shipstation.com/ enter code TIMDILLON www.buyraycon.com/tim for 15% off Bonus episodes every week at www.patreon.com/thetimdillonshow
Actually the boomers & older made it so you can't actually just drive down the road or open a business or walk down the road or breathe air. But hey the boomers had a heck of a run right I mean the ME generation lol really did it justice. Game over kids later suckers.
The problem with McRib is if you saw it before that sauce & not frozen solid it looks like Freddy Kruger it looks like if they really did do Soylent Green which yeah I know I shouldn't even have said it still think it's plausible considering this dystopian Truman show dump.
@Bobby Bush me too. I have done some shameful stuff with some of my ex gf’s to the point where I thought we had done it all and even pushed it to the next level. Now I realize I was just an amateur. Our sexual evolution as a species is borderline horrifying. It’s a knife fight out here living life in the big city.
@digduck oh what do they deliver? Do they deliver Maccas? We got UberEats, Menulog, Deliveroo- a few others- they all do a whole bunch of restaurants but only UberEats deliver Maccas !
@Semper Fortis He’s only polarizing if you take any of his crazy shit seriously. He shits on the left and right and it’s all bullshit which is what I’m looking for.
Tim is enjoying the smooth texture of his new podcast table 1:14:33 "I have not sold out, I have bought in" That is the mission statement of my new fake business.
The guests are just pretty boring and it's not fun to see tim kiss his guest's asses. Most interesting people to have on would get him deplatformed so we're stuck with based black women and face tattooed soundcloud rappers. Whitney was great but I wasn't a fan of the other guest shows.
Jimmy Dore is not that funny. I've watched some of his videos and he's very loud and bombastic and seems like its forced laughter when everyone around him laughs. But he has decent commentary sometimes.
im recovering from surgery, and had to stop watching this because i laughed for over 5 consecutive minutes and my heart starter hurting. tim dillon is the best rising comic right now, landslide victory
He’s definitely having babies the natural way then telling the lady oh umm yaaa you knew the deal ...... like a gangster slapping down a ward of cash and walking out with the kid...
Yep, he also makes Whitney Cummings more interesting just by being her friend... she's never really told a good joke in her life. #whiteknightsimparmyriseup
Someone very close to me was sexually assaulted while intoxicated by someone they trusted a lot- it happens, probably more than most people know. But you're completely right, and this segment helped me laugh about the subject in a way I haven't been able to in a while- and it helped me a lot. Thanks Tim, you always do wonders.
@@D4n1t0o Breakfast - Tea and Bread. Lunch- Rice and Beef stew / beans and greens. Dinner- Chapati( Somehow like Naan bread) and a stew of some kind. All that costs around 5$ if not less.
@@kui_maina Noice 👌🏼 I've had chapati with Indian food before 😊 How do you celebrate Christmas differently, if you do? I'm guessing, perhaps ignorantly, that it never really gets cold in Africa?
@@D4n1t0o i find ur questions very sweet and sincere. i hope they get back to you, altho i'm picturing like most of Africa is equatorial, and the rest of the continent is below that, so they probably have opposite summer/ winter like we do with Aus. i would think in Kenya, they are alot turned Muslim areas these days, but also used to be the region of Coptic Christians, like Ethiopia, very Christian. i have a tough time with xmas here in the u.s. It's so beautiful and i love the spirit of it (despite the blatant consumerism, more so the drinks and food), but in actuality, it is NOT really Christian at all so......
In her defense I will say that she was probably doing the cdc recommendation of using disposable everything - she probably threw everything out after the meal that would explain the fake forks and ugly plates - stupid of course but an explanation at least
Man Timmy D. really excels at seeing through all manner of bullshit and being ballsy enough to say something funny about it like few other comics left except for Norm Macdonald and a select few others
"give to those who have more, your real friends are those that are around when you're doing well" what Tim said... is REAL shit lol. Giving to those who have more is being a good friend to your buddy who's doing well and being supportive and still there for them while not being jealous. Praise be to Dillion and his fledgling Benny What a wonderful time of year
For real tho - he said it was to save the animals cuz it doesnt use fur. What world does he live in where all his blankets were made of fur? I've never even seen a fur blanket.
Candace Owens. Ol’ Teddy has some very good points. He said the government was going to use technology to enslave us. We thought he was a nut job back then, but look around us now. Ted the prophet
I'm glad that the Comedy Store doc was unimpressive to you as well, Tim. I rated it a 5/10 on imdb, and I'm already getting slammed for it. A lot of Store leeches are frequenting that page, and they're waiting to shoot down anyone who doesn't state that IT'S A MASTERPIECE-- MY GOD, OPEN MICERS AND UNKNOWN REGULARS TELLING US ABOUT THEIR LIVES IN THE LAST FEW EPISODES-- BRILLIANT
Thanks to the sponsors of this episode!
www.manscaped.com/ use code TIMD
magicspoon.com/timdillon use code TIMDILLON
www.shipstation.com/ enter code TIMDILLON
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Bonus episodes every week at www.patreon.com/thetimdillonshow
Actually the boomers & older made it so you can't actually just drive down the road or open a business or walk down the road or breathe air. But hey the boomers had a heck of a run right I mean the ME generation lol really did it justice. Game over kids later suckers.
The problem with McRib is if you saw it before that sauce & not frozen solid it looks like Freddy Kruger it looks like if they really did do Soylent Green which yeah I know I shouldn't even have said it still think it's plausible considering this dystopian Truman show dump.
You don't have the balls to have Ryan Dawson on the show
more please!
I love you, Tim. Your fans are retards, but you're fucking great.
“I thought I’d not be gay if women were more intelligent” -Tim Dillon
I absolutely pissed myself when I heard this. We need this man.
Magic spoon sounds like a euphemism for doing heroin
Good one 😌
And the first one is free, of course.
I'm sure Tim has a cousin that's lost tons of weight with Magic Spoon.
lmao
Heroin is keto
I think Ben spoke the most in this episode . His eyes just lit up talking about piss pigs and glory holes.
I thought I was a sexual degenerate but I don't even know what a "piss pig" is.
I think our little boy might be a fan of YMH w/ Tom and Christine
lol
@Bobby Bush me too. I have done some shameful stuff with some of my ex gf’s to the point where I thought we had done it all and even pushed it to the next level. Now I realize I was just an amateur. Our sexual evolution as a species is borderline horrifying. It’s a knife fight out here living life in the big city.
Ben has bodies in his closet for sure.
The best podcast in the world. Not kidding.
Name another podcast where you look forward to the ad reads baahahahahaha
Yes or yes
Give to the wealthy
Facts.
Hard to disagree
I'm a simple man, I hear Tim referencing the Ellen Show as Abu Ghraib, I click thumbs up
No one likes you.
@@ctraltdel6510 projection is a virtue
@@ctraltdel6510 is the
@@ctraltdel6510 I like Ed
@@ctraltdel6510 no one likes ctr alt Del either, that's why windows got rid of it and it was one of Bill Gates biggest regrets
I’ve fallen asleep listening to Tim so many times that I’ve come to associate his screaming about the horrors of society with comfort.
Literally me
Horras
Same here ❤ it’s oddly comforting
Me too. I fall asleep to him, but then I'll wake up kinda giggling and thinking it's my boyfriend. 😊 but it's Tim. 😅
Officer: So, where ya going?
Tim: Going to get the McRib.
Officer: Let em go.
Lol don’t you guys have home delivery Maccas in the US??
DrKAP ~ who cares?
@@DawnWillDoIt it was a question so I care??
@digduck oh what do they deliver? Do they deliver Maccas? We got UberEats, Menulog, Deliveroo- a few others- they all do a whole bunch of restaurants but only UberEats deliver Maccas !
@@Dr_KAP the hell is Maccas?
09:04 The LA lockdown is confusing, because you’re not supposed to leave your house, but the McRib is back 😭💀💯
i heard McDs created Covid to ruin all small restaurants and force everyone to eat their micro-chipped McRibs... yes or yes?
It's a kind of loyalty test, to see who's really committed to the lockdown for the long term.
The fact that Tim doesn't have a polo on tells me that the cia.gov partnership has changed him.... yes or yes
Totally agree.. What's next? a fucking Spotify deal?
@@wonderwoop rogan has apparently stopped loading to UA-cam so... We'll wait and see what Tim does
Hahah. Good line.
I'm an Irish woman and Tim reminds me of my favorite uncle. Love you long time Tim. Biggest fan.
Ben choosing to platform Candace Owens is the reason I stole money from my parents
Noble reason. None the less.
They invented another 72 genders because of how upset they were that Ben platformed Candace.
@@rhelferstay 😂😂😂
That’s just life in the big city
@WillieIIIreborn that's why you furrcurious people are actually gendrixas
dillon: *jokes about womans intelligence*
Also: *Explains to said woman how the joke works* :D
Tim Dillon is a pleasant surprise that came into my life a year ago. I wish I heard of him earlier. Really funny
Same for me
@Semper Fortis He’s only polarizing if you take any of his crazy shit seriously. He shits on the left and right and it’s all bullshit which is what I’m looking for.
@@Wallyworld30 yes ! So fucking refreshing to have someone dismantle everything and in doing so I’m joyously lolling ...the mans a genius.
he pisses off the left sensitive types the most, and honestly I’m here for it
same as well but it’s only been a few months for me
Tim is enjoying the smooth texture of his new podcast table 1:14:33
"I have not sold out, I have bought in"
That is the mission statement of my new fake business.
Awkwardly early for church..
Lmao
The leader can deliver his sermons at any time, yes or yes?
@Rust Davy 524 here in the UK. Yes or yes 👍
Its 8: 28am in Kenya...an early bird sermon
Right on time
Max Greenfield's character in "The Big Short" was inspired by Long Island subprime mortgage slinger Timmy Dillon.
Honestly I like it better when you don't interview other people, but I appreciate anything you put out.
I would listen to Tim commentate on drying wall paint.
This guy is a gem in the truest definition!
I like literally anything he puts out 😂
I like the comments better when you don't comment, but I'm still here.
"Hey let me tell you what I dont like about you. Love ya" lol
The guests are just pretty boring and it's not fun to see tim kiss his guest's asses.
Most interesting people to have on would get him deplatformed so we're stuck with based black women and face tattooed soundcloud rappers.
Whitney was great but I wasn't a fan of the other guest shows.
All the glass in my house shattered during the Magic Spoon add read.
I cannot express my gratitude to this man for the hour or so that he frees my mind every Saturday
Get on the patreon best money ever spent. Need steady doses of tim 🤣
I’m screamin!
@@marinoutdoors just joined 2 weeks ago that shit is fantastic
Oh god... please
i save him for mondays at work. gives me a little suntin to look forward to. that and a couple key bumps to get me through the day. truly a delight.
"Does anybody remember laughter?" - Robert Plant
I should be in bed but I stay up for this every Saturday 😂
Do what I do and watch in bed.
This was not the comment I was expecting
Me too dude.
Stop trying to catch clout from the biggest podcaster in the world. Take your fake business elsewhere.
@@susie7336 get off his jock
29:13 "What is a piss pig?" My favorite answer from Jeopardy.
Every time Tim says "Abu Ghraib" a Jihadist gets his wings (droned)
What does Abu Ghraib mean?
@JULIUS CAESAR All Hail Caesar.
I laughed 😁
Only Tim Dillon can Bring on Candace Owens and say he mistook Candace for Megan the Stallion
Excuse you, Megan *thee Stallion.
Tim has became the new GOAT of comedy. You CANNOT cancel this man, yes or yes?
How do you cancel someone who has nothing to lose ?
Yes
Tim’s great but not the GOAT you are looking for.
@@TheGeorgeous Ben will cancel him from the show and bring in Ellen
Where are my jewels.
Tim should have Jimmy Dore on the show.
Nah he's a sjw chitlord
@@binary not really he does get too preachy though
Jimmy Dore is not that funny. I've watched some of his videos and he's very loud and bombastic and seems like its forced laughter when everyone around him laughs. But he has decent commentary sometimes.
Absolutely!
@@binary, honestly far from lol. Dude's even stuck up for tucker carlson iirc.
Tim is literally the only comedian yes or yes
Theo Von baby
Yes, but also Nick Mullen.
Imagine other comics. Why try?
@@6vitamin because I'm gay for them.
mark normand says gay and stuff so idk
You’re not supposed to leave the house in LA
BUT THE MCRIB IS BACK
My church is listening to you with my whole family on Sunday. They made me go to church so I force this upon them
im recovering from surgery, and had to stop watching this because i laughed for over 5 consecutive minutes and my heart starter hurting. tim dillon is the best rising comic right now, landslide victory
Tim is back and he's getting more women pregnant than Tracy Morgan.
“I’m Tracy Morgan!-The Other Black Guy!!”
Tim Dillon featuring in 30(0 pounds) Rock
He’s definitely having babies the natural way then telling the lady oh umm yaaa you knew the deal ...... like a gangster slapping down a ward of cash and walking out with the kid...
@@mikeyboston7295 my mans don’t like vagina doe
Yep, he also makes Whitney Cummings more interesting just by being her friend... she's never really told a good joke in her life.
#whiteknightsimparmyriseup
Ben is so underrated for this show.. his laughs and now that's he's getting a lil more confident of putting on the show it's awesome. love it guys
threatening to sue his own advertisers...this is why i tune in every week
I love finding myself laughing and looking over to my dog staring at me!
The pigs have received their weekly feeding
"Piss Pigs"
- Ben
Hilarious comment
"Piss all over me, shit all over me"
-Ben
Home here now
Ben really leaned into the "I'm a piss pig!" thing, didn't he?
Somewhere out there Ray Kump is smiling.
He was passionate
Ben definitely spends a lot of time fantasizing about peeing on people. Not that there's anything wrong with that
Quite right haha i was laughing pretty hard.
And I'm glad he did because that was hilarious
Someone very close to me was sexually assaulted while intoxicated by someone they trusted a lot- it happens, probably more than most people know. But you're completely right, and this segment helped me laugh about the subject in a way I haven't been able to in a while- and it helped me a lot. Thanks Tim, you always do wonders.
Well that's not very funny!
At the least the McRib is back
Shame on Ben for springing Candace Owens on little Timmy like that
#CancelBen
Ben is unforgivable.
Always go back to old episodes, can't find better
Candace should be VERY happy she was given this wide reaching of a platform.
Maybe Tim will make her as famous as he made Rogan..
Tim has been so kind to Candace, Alex and Joe.
She has a Mega huge platform. She did Tim a favor on his little show.
@@deejaye2647 HOLY SHIT, LOOK UP!
WOAH did you see that?
Bro you missed the entiiiiiiiree joke!
@@deejaye2647 lol, its a joke bro.
Said in high falsetto voice:
"Magic spoon on my spoon!"
*Tim Dillon is the best fake businessman of* *our time. Yes or yes?*
Nothing fake about it. I'm a mark for it!
Yes.
Si y si
No. DRUMPF is
If you don't go with less you leave the toilet seat up and are a piece of shit.
Give to those who have more, it's the American way.
The magic spoon nerd 100% told Tim to create him a marketing jingle like ridge wallet...YUUUMM
The second half of this is like a Beethoven symphony
I haven’t even heard it all the way threw but I feel that! I’m excited 😛
I don't think even Beethoven himself could have hit those notes..
After Candace Owens last week I wasnt expecting a Ghislaine appearance yes or yes?
"Those three communist ghosts" in A Christmas Carol. -- Epic Dillonism
I heard Tim’s fake business made 2 billion in online sales on Black Friday
Doing my 4th re-listen through every episode. Dillon is a genius
Within 5 seconds after returning from ads i screamed the magic spoon jingle and my girl just looked at me like shes about to leave me
Can we Push for 2hr Pods!? The other L.A. Casters are getting Weak!
“My aunt shot herself in the face.”- Tim Dillon
“Neat.” -Me
I absolutely love tim dillon, so refreshing
The video for this podcast is like when you go to take a piss in the middle of the night and see ghosts in your room
“I have not sold out, I have bought in” is one of the greatest lines I have heard on a podcast.
This podcast has made me a more balanced person.
“Ladies and gentlemen welcome to the Tim Dillon show” is what I need to sleep every night
Welcome to the church of tim
Greetings from Kenya, God knows I have been waiting for something new.
What do people eat in Kenya? Like, what's a standard breakfast, lunch and dinner?
@@D4n1t0o
Breakfast - Tea and Bread.
Lunch- Rice and Beef stew / beans and greens.
Dinner- Chapati( Somehow like Naan bread) and a stew of some kind.
All that costs around 5$ if not less.
@@kui_maina Noice 👌🏼 I've had chapati with Indian food before 😊 How do you celebrate Christmas differently, if you do? I'm guessing, perhaps ignorantly, that it never really gets cold in Africa?
@@kui_maina yum!! sounds like India (without the meat) :)
@@D4n1t0o i find ur questions very sweet and sincere. i hope they get back to you, altho i'm picturing like most of Africa is equatorial, and the rest of the continent is below that, so they probably have opposite summer/ winter like we do with Aus. i would think in Kenya, they are alot turned Muslim areas these days, but also used to be the region of Coptic Christians, like Ethiopia, very Christian.
i have a tough time with xmas here in the u.s. It's so beautiful and i love the spirit of it (despite the blatant consumerism, more so the drinks and food), but in actuality, it is NOT really Christian at all so......
OMG that bit about the Ellen's blankets made from the hair of her interns being handed out to the homeless by Tik-Tok kids 😂😂🤣
Anyone else eagerly awaiting Tim's new year's resolutions? I need more guidance for next year's unprecedented times
I love that he releases an episode once a week but I wish that they were longer.
I can't ever quit you, Timmy.
the piece of hair that dances around as Tim talks is a vibe
LIFE IN THE BIG CITY!
"I always thought that I wouldn't be gay, if women were intelligent."
Tim has never said something not jokingly in any of the hours I've listen to him and thats why he's the GOAT
i only started watching you since you interviewed candace owens...great show, i'm rewatching it all
It sounds like Ben is a big freaky boi.
I think he has a yellow bandana. He knows the hankie codes.
"The only thing fun about Whitney's friendsgiving was that Tim Dillon showed up and told us how bad it was" ~ everyone in LA
Bop bop bop
In her defense I will say that she was probably doing the cdc recommendation of using disposable everything - she probably threw everything out after the meal that would explain the fake forks and ugly plates - stupid of course but an explanation at least
Man Timmy D. really excels at seeing through all manner of bullshit and being ballsy enough to say something funny about it like few other comics left except for Norm Macdonald and a select few others
"give to those who have more, your real friends are those that are around when you're doing well" what Tim said... is REAL shit lol.
Giving to those who have more is being a good friend to your buddy who's doing well and being supportive and still there for them while not being jealous.
Praise be to Dillion and his fledgling Benny
What a wonderful time of year
This is the highlight to my Saturdays.
this has to be one of the best episodes
i love how real Ben's reaction are, even he doesn't expect the wild shit Tim says.
I feel like we should be a little more outraged that a rich kid is going around passing out covid-19 blankets to the poor.
I mean a poor kid won't do it. They can't afford the blankets.
For real tho - he said it was to save the animals cuz it doesnt use fur. What world does he live in where all his blankets were made of fur? I've never even seen a fur blanket.
I have outrage fatigue. I don’t care about anything anymore.
Don’t worry, they’re lousy with small pox
Better check his PRIVELLGE
Tim is the only upload I drop whatever I’m doing...
Even while I’m balls deep in the Techno zone!
RIP Tim’s aunt.
Tim is a savior in the times of Salem witch trials 2.0
How is this not known by more people. This should be trending #1 on everything. It is magnificent.
This dropping makes my night
Tim has truly forged himself the position of quintessential anchor of the end of the world. 🔥
Pioneer? Yes or yes.
My cousin Mia loved this episode Tim
I wonder which guest would receive more backlash, Candace Owens or Ted Kaczynski?
Candace Owens. Ol’ Teddy has some very good points. He said the government was going to use technology to enslave us. We thought he was a nut job back then, but look around us now. Ted the prophet
A hybridized Candice Kaczynski.
I heard Jay Leno has a huge mansion edit: huge man-chin*
Oh yes
Ba-dum *tssss*
Candice was dope. Next up Owen Benjamin or dare I say President DJT?
Or a silent, drooling, unscripted Joe Biden
Do a free form like this once a week and an interview show once a week. That would rule
Could you imagine Tim interviewing Donald Trump? Now that would be captivating!
Tim makes many interesting points, week after week. Can't wait to use some for the upcoming holidays!
I used to be addicted to heroin, now I'm addicted to Tim Dillon..
Jesus! Go back to heroin buddy!
I picked the wrong year to give up qualudes.
Where and the hell do you procure ludes in this decade?! Your a legend
Lmaooooooo
Cocaine and The Tim Dillon Show is the way to live
Tim Dillon has more jokes hidden in a box under his desk.
99.9779% of them are hilarious.
Legend is, he doesn’t pull them out until after he kicks everyone out.
Entirely underrated
When I showed my girlfriend this podcast it did not go well HAHAHAHA horror I’ll keep watching solo haha keep it KUMP
Hello. Tim Dillion, here's to an amazing 2021.
I'm glad that the Comedy Store doc was unimpressive to you as well, Tim.
I rated it a 5/10 on imdb, and I'm already getting slammed for it. A lot of Store leeches are frequenting that page, and they're waiting to shoot down anyone who doesn't state that
IT'S A MASTERPIECE-- MY GOD, OPEN MICERS AND UNKNOWN REGULARS TELLING US ABOUT THEIR LIVES IN THE LAST FEW EPISODES-- BRILLIANT
I wish this was twice a week i starve for more Timothy
"She looked me straight in the face and said, I love heroin"
I didn’t even think Ben was at the Candace interview 😂
This podcast saved my life this year
Hope your doing well 90’s
You know pork prices are low when the Mc rib comes back!
A Christmas Carol, the original "undercover boss"
First 15 mins and my ribs already broke from laughing!!! He's coming out shooting like the sun dance kid!! Tim the sundance kid