Thanks to our sponsors! masfsupplements.com/ use code TIMD for 10% OFF Use promo TD at blue chew dot com www.betterhelp.com/TIMD Get three months free at www.expressvpn.com/timdillon Weekly bonus episodes of the show at www.patreon.com/thetimdillonshow
I'm gonna try to scrape up a bit of scratch to try to help your financial success brother!! You're one of the very funniest people that are out there -- and I mean this shit --- *YOU DESERVE COMIC SUCCESS!!!*
This was definitely Tim's version of the Quad Studio shooting. He got Aunt Kathleen shot up in the elevator. Hit her in the testicles. KATHLEEN, WHO SHOT YA?!
He's not gay! He just bangin' and dashin' many women behind the scenes. Where is the photo of him having sex with a man? A video? Any evidence? Exactly.
@Liam Bell when I started listening I thought he was talking shit about a lot of his life stories, until I watched him talking about his life on interviews like rogans and I realized it was all true
My brother told everyone he was going to kill himself so no one would come to my hs graduation open house. They spent the whole day looking for him and found him in a heroine den. Tim you truly channeled every person who has every had to deal with some crazy batshit family member. I and many other will look back to this opening every so often and remember it for the masterpiece it is.
Tim looking good, like he's losing weight. The secret has gotta be him swimming in Whitney's pool followed by 20 laps of him talking shit about her pool.
He was refrencing his Irish heritage; lots of Irish were potato farmers before the potato famine that drove them out of Ireland and into the US at the turn of the 20th century.
This past year has been the worst, most fucked up and traumatic experiences of my life and I'm in no way exaggerating when I say that discovering Tim and watching his shows had gotten me through it. He's so fucking funny that listening to him can literally restore my will to live ❤️
For real. What do we go do? A massive murder-suicide end-of-the-world party? We get to have a massive Burning Man style festival which will end in all of our demise, since we make life so much harder for everyone in our lives? Or just go move into the woods and let a bear do the job?
@@An0nAm0nda nah, just be a drugged up bum loser who treats people well. It's not a bad life. Work on getting some money and try to out go out see things in the world. Wishing you well.
Imagine if Tim was invited to do a comedy central roast. He would go on there, leave no survivors, and he would assassinate the network too. A glorious sight to behold, it would be.
@@jonbuckley5049 I’ll never forget when I played HS football and we were one of the worst teams in the state and our coach said “yeah we’ll try to schedule a team y’all can beat next year. It’ll have to be a school for the blind and deaf but that might even be a long shot for y’all”
OMG the aunt rant came in divine timing. Reconnected with a few family members for the 1st time in 4yrs & im already ready to go tim dillon on them. CANCEL YOUR FAMILY no lie😂
@@adamlannan4933, he mentions his aunt on an episode of The Basement Yard. However, he spoke very differently of her there. The opening of this episode took me by surprise, to say the least, absolutely hilarious though. I'd be so excited to see Tim doing stand-up in the future.
listening to Tim Dillon and Ray Kump going to hell podcast years ago got me through some Darkness, have no shame it's what comedy's for, here's to you having a better year ✌️
Thanks to our sponsors!
masfsupplements.com/ use code TIMD for 10% OFF
Use promo TD at blue chew dot com
www.betterhelp.com/TIMD
Get three months free at www.expressvpn.com/timdillon
Weekly bonus episodes of the show at www.patreon.com/thetimdillonshow
Your sponsors are trash
I'm gonna try to scrape up a bit of scratch to try to help your financial success brother!!
You're one of the very funniest people that are out there -- and I mean this shit --- *YOU DESERVE COMIC SUCCESS!!!*
Can I be apart of your new fam Timmy ??? 💞💞💞
Tim, why are you mad at your aunt for having a fake law office?
There's enough Fake Business to go around.
Don't be so selfish!
I want a dog that can do that
Tim isn’t giving Aunt Kathy the credit she deserves for being a pioneer in fake business.
Best comment
Very good point
Aunt Kathy is the key note speaker at my fake business school graduation.
Brilliant
🤣🤣🤣 thats such a good/funny point
Biggest Beefs of All Time
1. Biggie v. Tupac
2. Tim Dillon v. His Aunt
TimKath 2021
That's absurd his aunt can't be either
Lolol
This was definitely Tim's version of the Quad Studio shooting. He got Aunt Kathleen shot up in the elevator. Hit her in the testicles.
KATHLEEN, WHO SHOT YA?!
the beef is real
Probably the best beginning of a podcast of all time!
Easily
Definitely
Agreed
Amen!!! I love him!!!!!
Probably most hilarious rant I have ever heard.
"This isn't even a podcast anymore, I'm talking directly to you" 💀
This is no longer a podcast, this is a voicemail 🤣
I wish that Tim would just be honest and tell us how he really feels.
☠️💀💀💀☠️☠️💀☠️
I know. Its not healthy to hold it all in.
Yes, enough with that make-believe world where everyone and everything is perfect!!
I listen to the first half-hour every morning at the brink of dawn for mindfulness meditation.
😂😂🤣
This was my first podcast and ive listened to this and the "should have kept your mouth shut" episodes almost daily
This, but not joking
It's the "break" of dawn you fuk
@@chadcalhoun3710 good point. Won't give you the satisfaction of an edit tho you sleazy grammar gigolo
"I have a family; Joe Rogan and Candice Owens" I'm dying
"Mother and Father"
I read this as he said it
Tim has been waiting for Kathleen to step out of line for years now.
Sounds like fake business runs in the family
Apple doesn’t fall far from the tree
the family part was so real lmao
@@PlastiForge But one knows the difference lol and didn't build a fake set. 😂
Lolz was gonna say the same thing.
The stupidity of my channel name is nothing compared to the stupidity you will feel if you check out my stupid comedy videos.
"I have a family. It's Joe Rogan and Candice Owens. My mother and father!" 🤣🤣🤣
Tim is officially mixed race😂
I have the same parents
I died came back and died again
One of the hardest jokes
"I wish Mommy and Daddy wouldn't yell at each other when I ask about climate change"
Hell hath no fury like a slightly inconvenienced gay man
He's not gay! He just bangin' and dashin' many women behind the scenes. Where is the photo of him having sex with a man? A video? Any evidence? Exactly.
@@randomfullywonderful He's a gay virgin.
Best comment for sure lmaooo
Next time you see somebody calling Tim's homosexuality into question, send them this video. Only a gay man can go off like this..
Great point 🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾
PERIODT 💅🏽
I thought the exact same thing!
The more uncomfortable Ben looks during Tim’s stories the more I believe the story.
would you be upset to know he's actually just going through periodic oxy withdrawal. yes or yes
HAHAHAHAH FACTS
@Liam Bell when I started listening I thought he was talking shit about a lot of his life stories, until I watched him talking about his life on interviews like rogans and I realized it was all true
“Grandpa’s Legacy” needs to be on merch
haha! 100% this
Lol
Lmfao
Yes
Hell yes!
“I have a family, it’s joe Rogan and Candace Owens. My mother and father.” 🤣🤣
“I’m in Malibu, ho” I need this on a tshirt NOW
Yassss
This one
This week: Persian jeweler Tim Mohammed Stein-Cohen lectures his Aunt Kathleen about walking in the Light of Christ.
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Wtf 🤣🤣
This has to really happen!!! I'm a slim . Im a jew.. you are the light.. lol you're the absolute best.
@@ryanbanko8109 what has to happen?
@@publiusvelocitor4668 Tim changing his name!! Lol
I'm really enjoying this episode of The Tim Mohammed Stein-Cohen Show
You forgot Epstein
Nizar wins
Myyyyy Nizar
hilarious! can’t get enough of Tim.
Allah Snackbar
My brother told everyone he was going to kill himself so no one would come to my hs graduation open house. They spent the whole day looking for him and found him in a heroine den. Tim you truly channeled every person who has every had to deal with some crazy batshit family member. I and many other will look back to this opening every so often and remember it for the masterpiece it is.
Amen
First 30 seconds was better than 99% of entire specials. Literally
Tim looks healthier and Ben seems extra happy in this episode. Probably Ben sacrificed those Airbnb lesbians for Tim's birthday .
Better than money.
Yes or yes
Airbnb lesbian is an official category of reality now. Tim does important work🙏🏼💯😂
He is so right one of those chairs looks like a perch.
"Airbnb lesbians" is the more edgy, butch "The Ambiguously Gay Duo".
Should Cathleen represent the Joshua Tree AirBnB lesbians pro bono against Tim?
Yes or Yes?
😂😂😂😂😂 the pretend artists.
Hilarious!
😂😂😂😂😂😂
That's a netflix series waiting to happen
Hahahhahaahhaahhahaahahah
“Is this a brown recluse bite?”
“That is a gunshot wound, you were shot”
😂😂
Dont burn bridges,
Tim dillon “Nuke it”
Hearing Tim call out shit family members is extremely inspiring.
That beginning rant make me never want to get on Tim Dylan's bad side. He's an assassin.
That big light up sign and you still managed to get “Dillon” wrong lol
You wrote his name wrong, watch out..
That’s a talent.
"Tim Dylan" is Bob Dylan's alias when he writes sub-prime mortgage jingles.
@@aleclozano7496 a true representation of America in 2021
I love The Joe Rogan show but this show has become way more entertaining
Anyone else coming back to listen to Tim sing Arabs and Jews
“I didn’t sell out, I bought in”
-Timothy Rockefeller
"That kid's gonna make a hell of a lawyer, huh?"
"Yeah. He takes after his father. He's a son of a bitch."
"Well, fuck you, dear."
As funny as Tim is, he was genuinely respectful about his Grandfather.
He's a man of principles
@@noregi722 because his grandfather was a good man
Discovering Tim Dillon is like winning the jackpot when you least expected it! gotta protect him at all costs
Tim looking good, like he's losing weight. The secret has gotta be him swimming in Whitney's pool followed by 20 laps of him talking shit about her pool.
Tim straight violated his aunt 😭😭😭
Smashed that glass house HARD!
YEAH DAWG STRAIGHT UP HOMIE WENT HAM SHE TRIPPIN YO YO YO DRIP SWAG MELANIN
@@YourWifesBoyfriend Go outside and touch some grass
The fake lawyer part had me dying
@@dragonds22 that was the best way to address that man lol
Tim: I'm sorry this episode's a family fight.
Me: GO THROUGH THE ENTIRE BLOODLINE
🤣🤣🤣🤣⚰
I would listen.
I think Kathleen deserves a fake business mug for her law firm
I'd pledge to a lifetime Patreon subscription if Tim live streamed one of their family holiday gatherings
We need this!!
tim dillon has NEVER roasted his family on the show
He's so funny I'm dying
Lies
He normally keeps it private
Yes or yes?
His mom is definitely not fantasizing about scaling the wall on the next Capitol Hill bum-rush.
"Im trying to get Arab money an Jew money not fucking potato farmer money" what a fucking quote!! Can't wait for the SAUCEEEEE!!
He was refrencing his Irish heritage; lots of Irish were potato farmers before the potato famine that drove them out of Ireland and into the US at the turn of the 20th century.
Here spud famers do alright
Don't let Tim bluepill you on the Hibernian question!
Definitely trying that sauce
"I'M IN MALIBU, HO!"
The transition into the betterhelp ad is just *chef’s kiss*
The opening crucifixion of his aunt might be a top 5 Tim Dillon moment.
Rolls Royceistan? Heard its a real knife fight out there!
Ferrari Islands
The Peoples Democratic Republic of North Ferraria
Lambo Hills baby!
One of Tim's best rants was the Tracy real estate agent.
The Democratic Republic of Rimac
LOL...Tim's familly is as fucked up as mine...RESPECT!!
"We would get kicked off youtube, it's beastiality..."
"Indeed."
Lmfao..54:45
I don't drink. I dont go out.
I do, however, stay in and listen to The Tim Dillon show every Saturday night.
Time to get a rescue dog?
I am starting to think that Tim's family are just the voices inside his head.
His family is Joe Rogan and Candace Owen
😁😁😁
This past year has been the worst, most fucked up and traumatic experiences of my life and I'm in no way exaggerating when I say that discovering Tim and watching his shows had gotten me through it. He's so fucking funny that listening to him can literally restore my will to live ❤️
Tim is actually what comedians used to be.
Aunt Kathleen will be represented by Rudy Giuliani when she inevitably sues Tim for this
Rudy and lin wood would be the ultimate shit show legal team
That would be the perfect ending to the trilogy
nah. talking shit isnt a crime apparently. the news has been doing it for 4 years.
Underrated comment.
jesus he really is going in haha
If I can’t buy a “IM IN MALIBU HOE!” Shirt in one week I’m going to make one myself
Or you could not make it and go into fake business
I had wondered if Tim was really gay, until he said that.
Tim’s “Arabs and Jews” sounds like a Springsteen song 💀
Honestly not laughed so hard at anything in years, absolute comedic gold. This podcast pisses all over the competition.
The man throws a ridge wallet ad into his phat diss...
That’s how you run fake business
And I just bought one because of it
If I ever take my own life, this podcast will be my background music
Which episode?
Meghan? Is that you?
That's dark but I suppose I can relate to it
Lmfao 🤣
Wow thank you so much Tim!! Could not have had been better timing for this.
When you realize you’re the aunt Kathleen of the family 👁👄👁
At least you recognize
For real. What do we go do? A massive murder-suicide end-of-the-world party? We get to have a massive Burning Man style festival which will end in all of our demise, since we make life so much harder for everyone in our lives? Or just go move into the woods and let a bear do the job?
@@An0nAm0nda nah, just be a drugged up bum loser who treats people well. It's not a bad life. Work on getting some money and try to out go out see things in the world. Wishing you well.
You cant be the aunt Kathleen and be self aware. Doesnt work that way.
Imagine if Tim was invited to do a comedy central roast. He would go on there, leave no survivors, and he would assassinate the network too. A glorious sight to behold, it would be.
Bro that would be gooood
He's a flamethrower! 😂
Dood. Tims first ten mins on the episode sounds exactly like my mother. I literally was laugh crying and then turned into real crying.
Same lol
Damn lol
Tim's hit single, Arabs and Jews. Produced by Nine Eleven Studios.
Reminds me of that tragedy
🤣
@@IndiusFilms never forget, Tim's new single.
@@IndiusFilms ImNotNorm Nation!
Nah he really delivered that melody well
That rant was genuinely one of the best things I've ever heard. Poetry.
2minutes in and it’s like watching a volcano punch a puffin
Nobody is safe from Tim’s ranting, not even rescue dogs 😂
I cannot wait to see the insane backlash that is to come. People are ridiculous and Tim is hilarious :-)
I noticed
Not even children at the school for the blind😂
@@jonbuckley5049 I’ll never forget when I played HS football and we were one of the worst teams in the state and our coach said “yeah we’ll try to schedule a team y’all can beat next year. It’ll have to be a school for the blind and deaf but that might even be a long shot for y’all”
@@takeoff782 friggin gold😂😂😂
Jesus Tim is going off the deep end. Rumor is Ben is vaping straight up Xanax.
He’s vaping adrenochrome
#freeben
If this is how tim talks about family, air bnb should be shitting their pants
This show peaked higher than any other podcast ever. This was unreal.
This is like if Eric cartman got kinda famous and did comedy
Makes sense. No wonder why I find this gay dude funny lmao
Hell yah it is
@@moeyusuf2392 maybe you find him funny because he’s funny
@@Nick-fy2tf I thought it was funny because he was gay?
Spot on
i have listened to like 25+ hours of Mr. Dillon in the last week.
i do not regret a single moment.
Gotta pump those numbers up, rookie.
Jesus I thought I was the only person doing this. I have him on a loop 24-7. It gets better with every listen.
Same...absolutely loved the way he does his advertisement spots...👌
Tim listening good therapy
Listening to Tim calms me down, it's very relaxing
Tim only continues to impress and astonish me.
Dang, Tim goes after us poor old Irish. We're just over here like; "hey , hey, easy now, your spot on, but easy now".
I think he'd have fitted in better over here where everyone just constantly insults eachother for fun.
I was picking at the eczema on my leg listening to this. I was triggered
😆 as a sometimes blotchy red faced Irish woman this made me laugh.
It's all love
@@lornafarrelly7797
100% 😆
Whoever wrote this ad copy for the Fake Business mug needs a raise.
Was it you?
Seriously lol
7:26 “This isn’t even a podcast anymore. I’m talking directly to you.”😂🤣
Tim is a trained Therapist who gives himself an hour of paid therapy each week in which we watch to give him ad revenue to pay himself.
even tims podcast is just a fake business
I'M IN MALIBU, HO!
I'll take 2 of these T-shirts in a Large when available.
On God!!!!😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
the 12 people that disliked this are his aunt's burner accounts/law clients.
& Her cat, her neighbor, & 3 facebook catfish boyfriends
And the two desert lesbians
@something clever out loud*
Thank you for saying this about the rescue dogs that’s the biggest facts I heard on this pod bro you were really speaking the truth
This rant is what made me start watching Tim's show. Keep it up buddy.
You only did Lex Friedman so you could ask him if he'd build you a twink cyborg that you can put back together once you've cracked it open, yes or yes
😂😂😂😂
Where can i find this Lex podcast?
@@tylerk3616 should b dropping this friyay
Between the air bnb lessies and Tim's aunt I now know never to cross the GOAT.
Do not cross the Gay Anti-Christ Comedian
Lessor*
"I know where you live." "We'll just see what happens."
@@willrowe6088 what
@@PlastiForge you missed last weeks episode
This was peak Tim Dillon
I needed that smile, didn't even take 10 mins. Thanks Tim & Ben.
Tim making burning bridges an olympic discipline
Yes or yes.
Make no mistake, Aunt Kathleen just made Tim's 2021 list of rekt lives. I'm pretty sure she just got one ahead of "Mila" from Joshua Tree 😆 😆
...at least he gave "mila" 5-stars... that's what he said
@@photomukund go look on the Airbnb listing. He actually did give them 5 stars lol
The start of this podcast was legitimately the funniest start to a podcast ever oml.
EPIC rant, I 100% relate. I had nearly the same thing happen last week too, this was a wonderful release of laughter for me! 🥰
"When you come at the king, you best not miss."
Omar comin
Mess with the Bull, get the Horns.
Indeed.
OMG the aunt rant came in divine timing. Reconnected with a few family members for the 1st time in 4yrs & im already ready to go tim dillon on them. CANCEL YOUR FAMILY no lie😂
Thanksgiving about to be 🔥
Thank you for existing Tim. Had a rough day and your always hilarious. Appreciate you made me feel a lot better
This is my MOST FAVORITE TIM DILLON PODCAST .. GD !! You were on FIRE !!!
Plot twist: Tim doesn't have an aunt.
Love the show and your humor, Tim. Keep it up CP.
If not, then the dumb fake aunt who practices fake law is pure gold.
@@adamlannan4933, he mentions his aunt on an episode of The Basement Yard. However, he spoke very differently of her there. The opening of this episode took me by surprise, to say the least, absolutely hilarious though. I'd be so excited to see Tim doing stand-up in the future.
Shout out Tim Dillon for helping me keep some of my sanity throughout this pandemic
Me also. Thanks Tim.
I refuse to believe you are what a Tim Dillon fan looks like 🤣
@@aberwood how is a Tim Dillon fan supposed to look?
“How would I bump into you, I don’t live in your kitchen,” - Tim Dillon. 🤣🤣🤣
I rewatched this because I needed a good laugh today. Still funny AF.
Was worried there wasnt gonna be an episode tonight lmao. Goes to show what little I have to look forward too
listening to Tim Dillon and Ray Kump going to hell podcast years ago got me through some Darkness, have no shame it's what comedy's for, here's to you having a better year ✌️
Or how funny this show is
Lol.
Don't worry you're not the only person white knuckling life until Saturday evening every week. Im there with you
Crazy aunt had a pretend law firm?
So you're saying fake business runs in the family?
💀
Tim's infatuation with the ultra wealthy and grifters is somehow darkly endearing.
Tim’s a fake apple from a plastic tree
Haha
Burn!!!!!
Anyone else notice that everywhere Tim lives there's a problem with the management? I'm starting to think it may be him. 🤔😄
He just knows how to call it out that's it
It makes me so happy to see Tim getting all these views. Well deserved.
Ironically that rant about his aunt is the most irish thing I've ever heard
It really is like his emotions are pouring out of his skin lol, love it
Tip 1.) Never be on the bad side of Tim Dillon
Or Tim Mohamed Stein Cohen
This is one of my favorite episodes Tim. Thank you.