Exposing the Influence of Toxic Guilt

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  • Опубліковано 18 гру 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 82

  • @oyinkana8644
    @oyinkana8644 Рік тому +23

    “I don’t know how to love because I did everything out of guilt, people pleasing , or I feel bad”

    • @TheProGamerMC20
      @TheProGamerMC20 10 місяців тому +2

      yes. also guilt it telling me not to comment this

  • @chloewikstrom6429
    @chloewikstrom6429 Рік тому +30

    This is SOOOOO good. I believe Holy Spirit highlighted your page for me when I searched "healing from spiritual abuse" and I can't get enough of your teachings now. They are helping me so much! Thank you! God bless!

  • @jerrys1
    @jerrys1 Рік тому +33

    It actually makes me angry that no other Christians talk about this stuff. I’ve been struggling with this for years and been unable to find any help. Thank you so much for your channel. Once I overcome this stuff in my own life, I’m going to start my own ministry to help people with these kind of issues.

    • @smokingcrab2290
      @smokingcrab2290 11 місяців тому +6

      I resonated with this comment 100% And I feel the exact same way. I want to show the love of God to others so that they are free from this. God bless you and your future endeavors friend

    • @igbothunder-rv6oq
      @igbothunder-rv6oq 7 місяців тому +2

      because they arent aware if the issue... give grace and release that anger. God bless!

    • @jerrys1
      @jerrys1 5 місяців тому

      @@aejishiba I’m with you on that

  • @ladyesther
    @ladyesther Рік тому +46

    This was for me. I just want to be free from toxic guilt. This has made me so vulnerable to being manipulated. Please pray for me. Today has been rough for me emotionally. Thanks.

    • @iw9338
      @iw9338 Рік тому +2

      Praying for you 🙏💜 I hear you

    • @easleyofthesouth
      @easleyofthesouth Рік тому +1

      Stop crying for attention, i tell you that in a politely way

    • @sarahherzog7422
      @sarahherzog7422 Рік тому +1

      Definitely understand how you feel…. Those who don’t struggle have no idea what it feels like

    • @lukebraganzajones1662
      @lukebraganzajones1662 4 місяці тому +2

      God bless you, we Will be set free from toxic guilt ❤

  • @pamwatkins4855
    @pamwatkins4855 Рік тому +19

    Sobriety slows us down and leads us into change

  • @dinelia1881
    @dinelia1881 Рік тому +8

    Toxic guilt creates a hostile relationship with mistakes. It keeps me in self-hatred and makes it difficult to forgive myself even after God has forgiven me.
    Driven to fix things based on guilt. Relationships based more on guilt than on love. Guilt is the glue for codependency. Its not about you and me loving you... it's about me feeling better. Doing everything out of "I feel bad". Not setting boundaries out of "I feel bad". These keep you in unhealthy relationship patterns.
    I appreciate the distinction between normal guilt and toxic guilt.

  • @favoriteone8636
    @favoriteone8636 9 місяців тому +13

    Wow wow wow! I have battled this poison my ENTIRE LIFE...with no breaks on this guilt monologue unless I was completely wiped out from working all night and being extremely sleep deprived... or in other ways to cause myself to malfunction ie workaholism, drinking too much wine, sickness etc the list is endless. All in the attempt to escape this madness which I was taught WAS GOD HIMSELF.
    I will never be able to thank you ENOUGH! I am going to listen to all of ur videos on toxic guilt now. I HAVE STRUCK GOLD HERE! ❤

  • @kimmiebowers5248
    @kimmiebowers5248 2 місяці тому +3

    Thank You Jesus 🙏
    For using Mark to help us all with our mental health ❤

  • @H1ana2digital
    @H1ana2digital Рік тому +4

    I don't know if anyone else has experienced this but I'm not seeing a 'like/thumbs up button' on this channel. All I am seeing is a 'thumbs down button, This is troubling and I thought I should point this out. I'm having to revert to liking positive comments about your channel!

  • @godsdaughter1954
    @godsdaughter1954 3 місяці тому +3

    Talking to me. Over 50 yrs of guilt. Religious church growing up, so I feel so guilty for choices I made as a teen. My sister continues to stir the pot bringing up all dumb things I did .any yrs ago. Telling my adult kids has them turned against me. So I still feel guilty for the past. Have said I am sorry over and over again. I was not a best parent. I messed up. But I raised them with what my young self knew to do. I was a very sheltered child. Never taught things cause mom had severe depression.
    I am 69 and tired of feeling guilty for my past.

    • @michaeldstern
      @michaeldstern 2 місяці тому

      I was saved 2 years ago and I experienced relief from the ongoing guilt I had most of my life. If I can experience this, I want you to know that it right there for you too. You just have accept the free gift of grace. It’s simple and I can see how being churched your whole life could block it but I’m here to remind you that you are ALREADY free. If you weren’t, Jesus sacrifice would be pointless! ❤

  • @drewcummings1129
    @drewcummings1129 10 місяців тому +2

    I just love your teachings. Lord led me to Elijah House prophetic prayer counseling and then to your videos and man.... I am so at peace and excited for the future. God bless you Mark. You're gonna transform the Church.

  • @turn2jesustoday
    @turn2jesustoday Рік тому +5

    This video was a great great blessing to my life, I thank God for that revelation shared in this video setting me free for who I truly am in Christ without toxic guilt and shame and condemnation. Wow, I feel finally free in Christ! Thank God. Thank God!!!

  • @Mama_Moosh
    @Mama_Moosh Рік тому +9

    Wow, wow, wow! I can’t tell you what a blessing this is to me. I am dominated by obsessive guilt and have been subconsciously searching for some tools to free me from this. I was in a toxic guilt-ridden, codependent marriage for 16 years and undoing the that condemning nature I carry within myself takes a lot of prayer and reprogramming. Thank you so much for helping me on my freedom journey. My family and I love your work. Thank you for allowing God to use you. ~In Christ

  • @christine2090
    @christine2090 Рік тому +6

    Thank you so much Mark. Always spot on and so relevant!

  • @dinelia1881
    @dinelia1881 Рік тому +3

    43:27 Appropriate Guilt - It leads you to sobriety, not denial or a shame spiral. Watch this again if you feel in a rush to fix the guilt. Because rushing is about us feeling better, and then we are going to keep repeating it.

  • @Leannot35
    @Leannot35 4 місяці тому +2

    Yes this pattern is tormenting, and Thank you for this,makes a lot of sense!! Yes I think there is some churches, or other believers, in them that mean well and don't realize they're doing this, because we all fall short.. Jeesh I wish I started my UA-cam about this long ago, but I don't think I'm fit for that yet. This is a great UA-cam channel and helpful thank you again. I would appreciate prayer if anybody could for me and my loved ones, thank you so much, I'm so glad I found this channel ✝️🙏

  • @charlabarnett6274
    @charlabarnett6274 Рік тому +3

    Thank you for creating such a great "point of reference" Now that I have that I can live a much more productive life with My Lord and Savior. You are right, the church does not teach this grace and love message. Oh they do but it is "passive aggressive ".

  • @charlabarnett6274
    @charlabarnett6274 Рік тому +4

    Yes! That is what Legalism does! Uses God as a weapon. How? Through "The Law". We are no longer under the "The Law" we are under GRACE. Paul taught this exact message in Romans 8: 1-17. Paul even struggled with it in Romans 7. Thank you so much for this much needed teaching!!

  • @pamwatkins4855
    @pamwatkins4855 Рік тому +7

    Emotional neglect makes you feel lonely there's a. In life it's just a part of life that just brings about some feelings that you don't really don't know what it is just acknowledging it

  • @ductanw
    @ductanw 4 місяці тому +1

    I love this channel , this is a teaching we all need , Thank you Mark because I’ve experienced break through with your teaching

  • @salparedo
    @salparedo Рік тому +2

    I just bought every book you have wrote. Thank You and God Bless Mark. I have had an immense frustration with seeing so many unhealthy and sick bros and sisters in the Church. I know there is something here. Thanks bro! Have a great day Mark!

  • @darcyd2680
    @darcyd2680 11 місяців тому +1

    Thank you! It helps.

  • @keithawhosoever5384
    @keithawhosoever5384 Рік тому +3

    Great message with some excellent explanations Mark ‼️
    I've been on a 'downer' again that had me expressing constantly my " I want to die" feelings . " I've had enough , take me home Lord " .
    Gradually crawled out of it couple of days ago , but my irritability , tiredness and can't be bothered thought/feeling patterns are still prevalent , though loss of hope thankfully has dissapated.
    Today , a delivery man rang the doorbell , and my dog went into its usual manic yapping mode , which startled me . I was trying to unlock the front door whilst shouting at the dog to shut up ...which ofcourse it wouldn't , which made me raise my voice even more , which I think scared the postman more than the dog , though she did scour away , tail between her legs .
    Once I calmed down , a twinge of 'normal' guilt sent me to the dog with a soft admonishment for not shutting up immediately after I 'told' her to .
    I felt abit sorry for the delivery man too , so he may be delivering something again soon , and I'll apologise to him .
    🇬🇧✝️🆓

  • @celestialstorybooks
    @celestialstorybooks 2 місяці тому

    I wish I could like this more than once; sooooo helpful! Thank you Mark!

  • @rachellarkin917
    @rachellarkin917 Рік тому +3

    Thanks, Mark. Loved this 👍

  • @rockerune
    @rockerune Рік тому +1

    This was really helpfull. I listen to podcasts about running and investing since I am training for a half marathon and am a hobby investor. Theres this voice saying I should be listening to more of Gods word. Now I know its guilt. Thank you so much

  • @suej4430
    @suej4430 3 місяці тому

    Wow! Eye opening!!! Thank you for this content!

  • @leandrahackwith3168
    @leandrahackwith3168 Рік тому +6

    I learned at an early age that guilt shame and manipulation were the trifecta of control from my mother. If she hadn't been so chronically ill I would have told her off decades earlier.

  • @hkkjr1115
    @hkkjr1115 2 місяці тому

    Bless you and your loved ones!

  • @810Jafa
    @810Jafa Рік тому +2

    This is so good Mark,thank you

  • @gabegibby6515
    @gabegibby6515 Рік тому +6

    Where can I buy one of those bottles so I can start storing my toxic guilt. 😅

  • @bettinabizer
    @bettinabizer 4 місяці тому

    You are amazing. Thank you

  • @wayfarer1101
    @wayfarer1101 2 місяці тому

    I grew up with a father who talked to me so much about hell that I came to associate hell with God. I remember him waving his thick forefinger in my face, "You will answer to God for every second of your life!"
    Till I was about 15 I had to go with my Father to Hand out tracts because "people were on their way to hell."
    I ended up doing "guilt-driven evangelism". It was "my fault" if people went to hell.
    My dad would mention heaven but only in passing.
    Yes, I tried to do things so I would "feel better". Hasn't worked.
    When I was 18 I wanted to move out of home. My mother pressed the guilt button, "How can you call yourself a Christian and move out of home?"
    I was so screwed up I didn't even recognise the manipulation stunt!
    I figure toxic guilt has a lot to do with decades long recurring depression.

  • @faithsrealtalk2292
    @faithsrealtalk2292 6 місяців тому

    Thanks for articulating this well. I free

  • @raf5.13
    @raf5.13 Рік тому +3

    As the Ramones would say: “Anxiety, anxiety, keeps me happy”. Except it doesn’t.

  • @abemontes2518
    @abemontes2518 Рік тому +1

    It's like Mr. DeJesus studied our life, because he describes our experiences to a T. Today i feel numb, and have maybe become cynical. I keep a lid on it, but my "relationship with God " feels nonexistent. I pray everyday because I know i have to present myself before God, but my desires, emotions, thoughts are kind of in a daze. I just learned to live with it i guess.

  • @anisargsyan796
    @anisargsyan796 Рік тому

    Very, very meaningful and helpful. Thank .

  • @JC.714
    @JC.714 Рік тому +5

    i get troubled and i get so anxious like if i have to watch my back is really sad i been dealing with so much thanks to my narcisist parents that put me through alot due to trauma dad was abusive and mom a religious mean dominant lady who only cared about herself im sad and exhausted from all this sorry for throwing this out there

    • @megaboss8172
      @megaboss8172 Рік тому

      Do you believe in Jesus 😇?

    • @JC.714
      @JC.714 Рік тому

      @@megaboss8172 Hi yes I do believe in my heart but I have abandonedment and shame issues I grew up seeing my dad beating my mom and my mom would always choose him over her son but now that I'm older I struggle with all that I have anxiety alot

    • @Mumsy_Soap
      @Mumsy_Soap Рік тому

      Praying for you. Thanks for sharing. God is able to bring healing, continue to allow Him to work. I'

    • @JC.714
      @JC.714 Рік тому

      @@Mumsy_Soap ♥ appreciate the prayer

    • @megaboss8172
      @megaboss8172 Рік тому +4

      @@JC.714 do not fear. Because his perfect love cast out fear. And remember that you belong to God and that his love is unfailing and undying. His love is greater than your fears. Do not be afraid. Cause Jesus is right by you always and will never forsake nor abandon you. His loving arms surround you.

  • @junederksen9205
    @junederksen9205 7 місяців тому

    What a KAPOW moment for my brain!!!!

  • @heidrunlehmann1023
    @heidrunlehmann1023 Місяць тому

    I feel guilty my whole life doing everything out of this even becoming a doctor.
    I suffer not beeing able to feel love...
    I was toxic with other people and feel sooo narcistic was even diagnosed as Hostrionic a form of Narcisissm.
    I would do everything to expierience love.
    Have generationel curses and genetical deseases.
    And was deep in occultismus...
    And was deep in the dark...
    When i get prayer I feel worse...

  • @jessicascott8780
    @jessicascott8780 Рік тому

    Thanks, Mark ❤️

  • @sdw1103
    @sdw1103 Рік тому

    It's not just guilt that drives us. Most churches drive it by constantly focusing on what we have to fix instead of God's grace and work in our lives, and growth.

  • @Hyorikatsu
    @Hyorikatsu 4 місяці тому

    One of the verses that has helped me to understand guilt, mercy, and grace. Is Peter’s call in the gospel of Luke. The Lord’s response. “Don’t be afraid”
    Luke 5:6-11 CSB
    When they did this, they caught a great number of fish, and their nets began to tear. [7] So they signaled to their partners in the other boat to come and help them; they came and filled both boats so full that they began to sink. [8] When Simon Peter saw this, he fell at Jesus's knees and said, "Go away from me, because I'm a sinful man, Lord!" [9] For he and all those with him were amazed at the catch of fish they had taken, [10] and so were James and John, Zebedee's sons, who were Simon's partners. "Don't be afraid," Jesus told Simon. "From now on you will be catching people." [11] Then they brought the boats to land, left everything, and followed him.

  • @andrewcerrone4096
    @andrewcerrone4096 Рік тому

    Amazing

  • @sarahherzog7422
    @sarahherzog7422 Рік тому

    So how about when you don’t know if you are sinning as a lifestyle because it’s kinda a grey area? Like if your job requires you to do something, you are required to document that you did it but you think it’s making things worse for those involved. So you document that you did it and know that’s technically a lie but you know it’s better to not follow the documentation to the letter but the agency does it to cover themselves? How do you deal with that?

  • @hay_Z2021
    @hay_Z2021 Місяць тому

    Is it still toxic guilt if you've actually done something wrong, but still beat yourself up over it years later? I feel like i have both toxic guilt, and normal guilt.

  • @jamespinto3675
    @jamespinto3675 Рік тому

    Is that heavy feeling of pressure and weight upon the head and chest always toxic guilt?

  • @gerrybloemendaal236
    @gerrybloemendaal236 Місяць тому

    Love you a lot Mark! Unbelievable is Jesus better than dining on guilt. For sins go away when i eat Christ's loving grace, and God's love comes to life instead, while dining on guilt never stopped my sin, but only caused more bad life to live within me. Always fueling my depression.
    Kiss The Son!
    I see lies shaping your heart and soul within.
    Why continue to deny Him the right to live?
    Please kiss the Son lest He be angry!
    The Truth is a fire for the dark and secretive!
    Don't you fear grilling His Hell forever more?
    Seeing His Good Life was lost because of you?
    Please kiss The Son lest He be angry!
    Letting His loving truth redeem you too!
    Also you His Holy Name to praise for aye!
    Seeds of truthful love inside of you growing.
    Please kiss The Son lest He be angry!
    Redeeming Love like living waters flowing.

  • @pamwatkins4855
    @pamwatkins4855 Рік тому

    I feel okay about that

  • @wastingtimeonyoutube.
    @wastingtimeonyoutube. Рік тому +1

    If you have toxic shame, does that AUTOMATICALLY mean you're a narcissist?

  • @SamsonKissel
    @SamsonKissel Рік тому +1

    Hey mark how much is your personal classes? I am a one on one type of leaner if you could please help me it would be great . This isn’t my real name I forgot my old account so I made a new one to contact you my name is Logan Kissel

  • @crwcrew7759
    @crwcrew7759 Рік тому

    What if my guilt is from serious Sin?

    • @ogomaokwor6657
      @ogomaokwor6657 Рік тому +1

      If it’s from a sin that u actually did ask for forgiveness and pray for strength self control etc not to do it again

  • @jw1234
    @jw1234 Рік тому +8

    My mother was an expert in manipulation with guilt

    • @keithawhosoever5384
      @keithawhosoever5384 Рік тому

      I can understand what you mean . Mine too at times , as could my dad .

    • @LG-wm1nw
      @LG-wm1nw Рік тому

      Mine too and still is. God is reprogramming me and it's all because of these teaching from Mark. Thank you.

  • @pamwatkins4855
    @pamwatkins4855 Рік тому

    Where appearances you feel guilt I experienced none of it at all myself like a parent says you failed the guilt I feel none at all because you must be guilty of something take the responsibility of you feeling something that you should feel bad about this I have no concern for it all

  • @pamwatkins4855
    @pamwatkins4855 Рік тому

    Can I have done something more for the kids are they hurting your feeling bad as some of it from my relationship with him and how I not consider them but only my own feelings I should be thinking of my own feelings and being able to operate without guilt so that I can do something constructive instead of go down and pull myself under with him when they're feeling bad and hurt that I think that I should feel hurt and feeling the same things they're feeling because I don't know how to deal with what they're going through and how I don't feel helpless that I can't help them and I want to help them and it's so hard to see them suffering like see them hurt

  • @pamwatkins4855
    @pamwatkins4855 Рік тому

    Call Mark freedom in Christ

  • @prayforthejewishpeople
    @prayforthejewishpeople Рік тому

    Guilt feeds the flesh; and open doors to sin -> seeking temporary relieve

  • @justapseudonym7
    @justapseudonym7 Рік тому +1

    God's timing is so perfect 🥹 I'm working through codependency and today I made another step in practicing speaking truth, instead of people pleasing, and felt immense guilt. I now know it was toxic guilt because I felt guilty just for speaking not even from the words I said.