Critical Secrets an Avoidant Man Will Never Tell You, That Can Change Your Love Life
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- Опубліковано 7 жов 2024
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I only got attention from my avoidant ex-bf when I said goodbye. 🙄 Did that for over 11 years 😮 so glad to get strong enough to say goodbye for good. Met Ed in Feb and it's wonderful to be treated like gold ✨ for the first time at 60!!
That was good, thank you. More on avoidants and the difference to the narcissists would be greatly appreciated ❤
This video is extremely validating and such a good representation of how these relationships work
Thank you for being the first channel to call our needs the avoidant fails to meet "normal". I truly appreciate that.
I’m with one now, believe me it’s hard to handle this man 😢 tank you for a brilliant job,please make another video about this topic 😊👏
He likes me, he wants me, but fears the closeness he wants more than he wants it. He has some good qualities as a person and also believes he wants, an actually is, offereing a proper relationship. I was secure, but falling in love with him destabilised me. I still love him but......
Time will cure you of that! Been there. ❤
Me too, he drifted away after 2 months. If he returns and wants to work on himself and I am willing and available, then we will see. Sad though. A lovely man.
Thank you for making sense of this, I’ve spent years trying to figure out why someone pushes me away while keeping me so close, it’s very heartbreaking and confusing but now I have a clearer understanding why
This is one of the best videos on Avoidants. This describes my relationship perfectly. I was a secure attachment style but my Avoidant made me more Anxiously attached. He's discarded me and returned several times over the years. I loved him like no other so always took him back. Everything you said here describes him perfectly.
🙋🏽♀️I just had to abandon my avoidant man. I was completely unfamiliar with attachment styles. I had a great childhood and was focusing on my beloved career therefore no heart break and I am secure. He on the other hand had the difficult childhood.
Things were great for 2 months. I thought he was my soulmate and he said the same about me. But once it was time to intensify the relationship he began drifting away, citing work as the reason why. I felt alone even though I was supposed to be with him, unwanted and invisible.
He was never mean (though some can be) just slowly withdrew from me. He is a lovely man and if he could recognize it and work on it, he would be a fabulous partner for someone and I truly wish him the best!
Thank you Brian, a very accurate description almost identical to mine.
I spent years on and off with an avoidant. I'm the one that is sick of the bullshit.The cycle has completed, and he's back and wants me. No, thank you. The best way to be respected by an avoidant is to leave them. Even they know that their behaviour is appalling.
Great video! Super helpful. I'd love to see more content on distinguishing between a toxic man and an avoidant one. I recently ended a crush/potential relationship with someone I believe is an avoidant or potentially a man with some narcissistic tendencies. He would sometimes manipulate situations - like trying to make me jealous (to make me fight for him), going hot and cold, and yet constantly seeking to contact me when I pulled away. He didn't love bomb me or promise me the moon, and I didn't participate in his games. He also comes across as very emotional, immature and insecure, and I kinda think his games are his way of trying to control a situation that scares him. I'm older than him, very independent and confident. He respects me when I stand up for myself, does want to help me, and shows through actions and his eyes that he does seem to have deep feelings for me. He is also very caring and soft when I'm being vulnerable. In his own way, he has told me he wants me, but that he is too scared. However, he also denies this. I know... I should just run, and I did :D But I'm still curious about it all...
These men are confusing as hell. Get out while you can. The trouble is they don’t only avoid closeness, they avoid dealing with their own emotions, past and shortcomings, thus leading to inauthenticity. They make unhealthy partners for those looking for emotionally mature, stable and healthy relationships.
Yes please Brian, more info about avoidants - women can be avoidant too, due to the same reasons you describe. The key here is what you say, if people are actively working on healing their trust issues, then patience and kindness will win eventually. Some people have learned that they can only rely on themselves and it takes time to build trust with others. Thank you 😊
I have finally given up on my avoidant after nearly 10 years. Its a huge relief.
Yes please. This is very interesting and helps a great deal especially your comment about being kind. If you leave, you never feel bad if you were kind. Thanks
Make more videos on the avoidant. Thanks.
You are right from every direction! Perfect Video! Thank You! 😩🙏
Hello Brian, Thank you so much for another amazingly informative video.
I'd really love to watch more of youre videos on avoidant men please, most people will think im crazy if I say I was in a very abusive relationship and im now in an avoidant one we have both had difficult pasts, you asked what it feels like?
For me its like a roller coaster of feeling lonely and then its ok again but then here my heart goes again why do I miss him so much and he seems ok without me? Why do I need so many cuddles and affection? Am I being too needy? Am I too much, maybe im not enough? Oh look at all those xx's hes put on my text 😍
No text night night, course he needs space Claire stop being ridiculous, hes just tired he works hard, you will see him next week when he can.
Just a few random worries & thoughts.
Thank you again I love it when you read until the end 🤗
Well expressed and i have known this for a long time. You do the best synopsis profile
Brian makes sense always love form 🇰🇪🇰🇪🇰🇪
Love this video. Please make many more videos about Avoidants. I think it is avery common situation and would help so many people to understand this dynamic in relationships.
He was selfish & lacked empathy when triggered. He also pouted a lot.
I've been married to one for over 4 decades. He's a good man, I've just learned to give him the space he needs and do my own thing when he's moody. As long as I'm respectful to him, not demanding and I clearly communicate, not expecting him to read my mind, we have a good marriage.
can you make a video FOR the avoidant man please? Your videos are great!
I learned a great deal from this video. Thank you, Brian.
This is my relationship without question... spot on description 👌 helpful overview to better understand the dynamic and IF I choose to continue with this particular level of connection he's able to offer.
My avoidant slowly drifted away after two months. Proceed with caution. He was unable to meet a super basic need, even though I asked respectfully 3 times. I ended up feeling in a relationship but still unwanted, and lonely.
Wow Brian.. how I wanted you to talk about avoidant attachment style.. Thank you so much.. you hav a lot of wisdom.. you speak words of knowledge
Thank you brian, this video was helpful😊. u clearly described my situation in your 3rd scenario. I met an avoidant man I didn't know was avoidant at d time, he seemed interested me. 3-4 months in, I was unattached so his interest grew. 5-6 months later I became comfortable with him and felt d need to be close to him. He then started getting upset over little things like me forgetting to turn off the light switch in the bathroom🙄 & the AC. boom😮..he pulled away without saying a word, & me noticing his distance pulled way as well & have been in NC since then. Watching ur video gave me clarity & I only hope for the best. 🙏
Answered some questions like no other video re: avoidant vs narcissist.
thank you
Dismissive avoidant people can be just as kind, caring, and wonderful as anyone else and are no less deserving of being loved; that being said, until they've put the time and effort into themselves to become more securely attached, they are not yet capable of engaging in a healthy relationship so it's best to just not partake on either side. The hard part is that typically you don't see the signs right away so by the time you do, as he said, you've fallen for them and THEN that's when things get so much harder, so that's where it becomes crucial to love yourself more and remove yourself. It doesn't make either of you bad people and it's not wrong to acknowledge to yourself that no matter how wonderful someone is or how much you love them, they are not for you and that's ok
Thank you for this video. Now I understand him. Please make more videos about avoidants. Thank you
Thank you Brian. This is very valuable. Please make more videos based on avoidant men.
Excellent video Brian❤❤
Thank you Brian, plz make more videos about this topic & the dynamics in the relationship.
Thank You so much! This is SO helpful. It's amazing how much You know the dynámics how avoidants work in relationships. I'm in a "relationship like this" and this has confirmes me i'm doing good. Thank You again and I Will love another video for You to go deeper in the topic. You are a genious! Keep up the good work. I'm from Argentina.
Love this... More please
This is an amazing video!! Thank you. I learned alot about avoidants. Yes, would be great to learn more.
@Brian Nox - Geert. Thank you for this video. Yes, please do create more about avoidants. I was, am, of secure attachment, but got 'triggered.'
To aid with your case studies! 😁. I met a man over six years ago, and I found myself in repeated looping cycles, with him constantly hot and cold, in and out, but always with supposedly valid excuses: his long working hours, his family. I tried to be patient and understanding, he seemed to have a lot going on, yet I still occssionally got rattled by his behaviour, and I'd walk away. He'd reach out after a few weeks, apologising, asking for another chance, and so the cycle repeated again, and again. Compounded by being 'long-distance, (mostly one hour's drive!) so we rarely met in person re his valid 'reasons.' He could have also been a covert narcissist too, but I will never know, as he never allowed us to get close and to get off the ground.
He always said the right things but his lack of real consistency and actions showed otherwise. He seemed to have a good Heart and have potential, but...only on his terms of when we met etc. If I asked and suggested more occasions of when and where to meet, each time he'd cancel late on the day. (Plus during the first year of knowing him, he was telling me all the right things, but unbeknownst to me, had re-established contact with an ex-girlfriend of his, who had finished with him, to be with someone else! So she was the 'one that got away,' that he couldn't forget! They then had an on off proper relationship for 18 months together, then he cycled back to me when it ended. Saying all the right things again: he'd previously met me at the wrong time etc., when he wasn't ready.) So he started the emitional rollercoaster with me again. Whenever things sermed calm and pleasant, he'd start an argument. The more I'd be rational and explain, to diffuse things,, the more he seemed to deliberately not understand me and make things difficult! All conducted mostly via text, rarely any voice calls at all, ever! Except in the early days, when he would ring me.
I completely had enough of him four months back, when he cancelled three meetings in as many weeks, and I relayed that was that, enough! We'd not seen each other in six months! He didn't respond at all, zero. He then attempted to re-establish things after three months, by actually telephoning me 'out of the blue,' but I made it plain I had had enough of him, do no more nonsense. I am 57 now, he 48 now. Me being mature and more easy going, he took advantage, as he knew I was seeking a boyfriend and something long-term stable. He turned out to be a nice guy salesman selling hope, but was, is, just an attractive but manipulative con-man offering nothing but a road to nowhere. Thanks for reading, and I hope to see another video of yours soon about similar. I love your humour and sarcasm haha! 😁😍😘. Best wishes, Anita.
Thank you for this very informative and detailed video. It was so helpful on many levels. I was dating an avoidant (unknowingly) and experienced many of the things you described. As of this writing, I am giving him space and time, once again. So I don’t know where this will lead or end. One good thing I did do was remain calm and kind. I knew something was wrong but could not realize what it was.😢 Your presentation is professional and yet personal so you make the viewer feel engaged and appreciated.😊
😂😂 was just thinking about my avoidant man heartbreak . His name was Mark! Thanks Brian!
Yes please. I've been with an avoidant, and it kinda turned me into an avoidant.
Brilliant! 🌟
He ran, he sent out signals, he ran, no contact. I'm tired of watching from the sidelines. Next!
thanks for sharing !
nailed it
There was a movie called Get Out that won the Oscar.
what about if as a woman I might have some avoidant traits in relationships?
how can you mitigate this? how to distinguish it from just a natural behaviour when you are not meeting the right men for you?
I think I'm with one now.....hard to say
🚩🚫HI Brian, someone is using your content and I can't report it myself because I'm not you nor your lawyer! It's your video "When an Emotionally BROKEN Man is Using a Woman, He’ll Show These Signs!" (there may be others) only translated to French, but exact words even to the exact same jokes. The video is "Ces signes montrent qu’un homme émotionnellement brisé VEUT VOUS UTILISER" by the channel "vision stoïcienne".
Hello,
This is nice of you to make Brian aware of this, for him to act now…
@@ahlammenar8814 Hi, thanks, yes it's upsetting to see someone stealing Brian's work like that and get away with it. I hope Brian sees the message, because youtube doesn't accept reports if it doesn't come from the plagiarised person or its lawyer.