I don't even know if you still feel this way or if you're still reading comments but for you and everybody who reads it: if you respect other people but cannot accept yourself, I still want to do it. You are valid. You are amazing. If you decide to take a new name, it's gonna be a wonderful name, whatever it is. If you decide to change your style, it's gonna be outstanding. I respect you. I wish you all the luck. I want to support all of you, non-binary, female, male or anything, during all of your journeys. If you identify (or think you may identify) as whatever, you are great. If you cannot yet find the labels or pronouns that will feel just right, you are still a wonderful human being, it's just that our language may be a bit too restricted to verbalise your awesomeness. If you cannot accept the fact that you're trans or gender non-conforming, I still want to do it.
This video helps me so much, I am trans but i didn't feel trapped in the wrong body I just felt i would be happier being a male rather than a female and I would rather have male parts, I dont even completely hate my female parts I just find i would be happier if i had male parts there and I was born a boy. it was really difficult coming to terms with this and im still in a bit of denial and go through body dysphoria but after this video im just gonna try doing what makes me happy.
This, exactly. I feel this all the time, ever since I was born, and thought that I couldn't be trans, but to hear someone else say that... I guess I'm not the only one.
I've always gone through early childhood like a normal girly girl. Pigtails, tutus, pink, the works. But since I've been exposed to the community when I was about 11, I started realising that the bright pink and ponytails was not me. I started dressing a bit more masculine, but not enough to make any real difference in what people saw me as. I ditched clip bras all together when I was 12, and started binding with 2 sports bras. My mom got mad at me whenever she caught me doing it, but I didn't care. I feel like my dad's a lot more accepting than my mom is, but even he still says I never showed signs of being trans when I was younger. Well, they wouldn't know, because I hid it really well. When I was about 8, I started noticing that I wanted to hang around the boys more than the girls. I wan'ted them to just...Like me, and let me join in on what they did. Of course, they never did, and that's when it kinda sunk in that maybe what I was feeling wasn't normal. So I hid it until I was 12, when I finally told my parents how I felt, and a whole other shitshow started. My mom started thinking that I was saying I was trans to fit in with the kids in my SAGA group. Which, truth be told, I wasn't. I actually hated most of the kids in the group because they either ignored or insulted me on a weekly basis. So I've had to try and convince my parents that I don't fucking know what I am, and that at this point I'm a potato. There's times when I'm not even trying to pass, and strangers will refer to me as male, and it makes me so happy, but then my siblings/parents/unknowing friends will be like "Lol what? That's a girl!" And I hate it. Writing this out...I've gotten it. It's official people, I want to be a boy. Thank you for reading this rant/unwanted life story. I appreciate it
I can relate to your story pretty well, besides the coming out part- I've always liked "girly" things and such but anyone can whether you're boy, girl, in between, or neither. Anyways, I want to be a boy, maybe not get all the surgery or whatever but just live and exist as a dude, sound like dude, be called a dude, etc. I'm doubting I'm transgender because I do experience dysphoria but it's quite low and it's usually only me wanting my bobbles gone lol. There is actually this character from a video game who's a dude, and when I say I want to be him, I mean it haha- I might just be a tomboy or just obsessed with the idea but if anyone sees this I kind of need some advice- :") (Also, I hope by now you're doing well and everything and remember you are valid
i guess i can relate to a point. i was a really "whatever" kid, to be honest. my main interests were things like animals and coloring, but i was naturally exposed to feminine clothes and such. it didn't particularly bother me at such a young age, i pretty much just went "dolls? not that up my alley but i'll play with it if i'm bored enough? toy cars? cool, that works. i don't care what gender my friends are as long as they like me. i thought that was always how i had to be, and didn't grasp the concept i could be anything else, since i was just raised without knowing until i was older. might i add, i knew minimal things about it, but due to the environment I was exposed to, i was lead to believe lgbt people were morally wrong, that girls would always be girls and boys would always be boys. when i heard about stuff and went through the early stages of puberty i kinda went fuck, maybe something isn't right. i initially thought i was bi or lesbian, something of the sort that'd make me feel a bit more masculine, but whoops that didn't really feel like the case. my weird preteen mind went "hmm.. non binary?" but i convinced myself that I was trying to be special and should give it up, because something was clearly wrong with me. i identified with it on and off, always deciding i needed more time. this went on for a while. i actively denied any possibility of me being a guy, looking back it was mostly because i thought i wasn't good enough to be one and i didn't want to be "that trans". i tried dressing girlier in hopes of feeling happier, and while some things i still don't entirely despise, this made me the opposite. i eventually came to the possibility i may not be nb but trans, and likely straight in that regard. that's where i am today. i'm still at the questioning part, but i've made some progress edit: i didn't mention dysphoria, but i do often experience things relating to this. pretty damn often. it sucks balls.
Okay so uhm, I read all the comments about their life stories and I honestly cried because there were quite a few a relate to. 1. the girly girl- When I was younger I always found the dolls, babies, and dresses so amazing and cool. But then when I was in 2nd grade I wore dresses to school everyday(Btw, I am a girl) A girl asked me "why are you always wearing dresses" I didn't answer because I didn't know how to respond. I don't know if I'm going through a faze but I don't really feel exactly 'right' in my body. I've always had bigger "female parts" and they don't feel correct. My mom always wanted a boy for cars, trucks, dinosaurs, video games. I've always liked more boy-ish clothes and stuff. Today, I finally asked my mom about binding for 'a cosplay' but it was really to see if my body felt right. I've always had better relationships with men(as friends) then girls. The girls were always too focused on boys, or dances, or even social media and looking pretty. Never once in my school life have I been not insecure about my body. 2- My name feels different. I hate it. The name 'Madison' feels way too formal and stuffy. I don't know. I might just be a tomboy or just in a phase. If you read this thank you!!
@@georgielear2531 It's not completely bad, if you have any problems with breathing or pain take it off. A compression sports bra for runners works the best, but only wear one of those.
Hey. I was born as a female, and I don't feel comfortable as a girl at all. I want to transition to male, but my mom is really homophobic and transphobic. My step brothers boyfriend is trans and he gave me one of his binders, but I have to hide it from my mom at all times. Even when it's on my body. I wear sweatshirts and layer my clothes so she can't tell I'm wearing one. Im really scared though, because when summer comes, I won't be able to do that and she's going to see the binder and send me back to therapy after screaming at me. (She sent me there the first time because she saw I was binding with 2 sports bras) I don't know what to do because nobody knows that I feel this way. And I'm to much of a baby to tell anyone, do I guess I'll just have to get kicked out of the house? I have no idea. Pls help.
I'm questioning. I was born a girl but I'm leaning towards identifying as a boy but I'm too nervous to actually tell someone. I don't know anyone who is transphobic so I have no reason to be scared. Any advice to help make me more comfortable
This is woah almost one year old as a comment sorry but if you haven't told someone yet that's ok you should take your time it's really ok to be nervous and if you've told someone then well done for coming out 🤗✨
I'm not some kind of elder who knows exactly what's good for you, but... no matter what people say, or how much they insist that you're confused, or try to say "you're not trans"... believe in what you believe, and continue identifying yourself with what you like to!
I feel the same way . Like my friend already has a trans friend but I’m just scared that everyone will treat me differently or that they will think I’m just seeking attention .
Thank you. I needed that. I’ve lately been kind of obsessed with having to find out wether I’m trans or not. And honestly, I don’t know. There are times when I think “yes, definitely, that’s me!” , And others when I’m doubting everything. Sometimes I don’t know if my feelings are “real”. I’ve decided I’d jus try stuff out. I’m probably gonna cut my hair short, and see how I feel. I’m just really afraid of what people might think of me. That I only want attention. That I’m trying to be someone I’m not. Honestly, i don’t even know what I’m so scared of, it doesn’t really make sense actually...
damn this is currently me ;; I feel so happy when people treat me as male but is it something I’ve made up because I hate myself and I want to be a different person? am I really different from other women? do I want attention? and- eek-
@@azutheviper6443 exactly the same here, i feel like maybe my brain is making excuses for my depression and why i hate myself so much... i think I'm gonna wait, I'm so lost at the moment...
@@coctodon1751 oh same, really not sure if it's my depression, or how i would feel right now without all that covid shit, because I have way too much time to overthink, soo have you figured something out for you?
My dad just thinks it’s a “phase” and that I’m being influenced by people on the internet. He keeps telling me all of the bad stuff that could happen, like if I ever get the surgery and not feel right. Or that there’s no point not in getting top surgery if I’m not getting bottom surgery, witch is not true at all. I’m only 12, I’m not getting surgery now. I’m not even 100% sure about it yet .I keep telling him to stop talking about surgeries but every time the topic of me wanting to be a boy comes up, he talks about all of the bad stuff. I just want to buy clothes from the boys section, talk to my guy friends in the boys washroom, like they do. I’m excluded from their chats in there. I want a chest binder. All that fun stuff. I wish I could but I can’t. The only one of those options I can do it get boys clothing. Witch rarely happens. I have to drag my parents over to the boys section only to get one t-shirt. There was only one time I went into the boys washroom before. That was when me and my friends stayed at school for study hall. Thats pretty much where you stay for an extra hour to study with friends. Both me and one of my guy friends had to use the washroom so we both went. He asked if I wanted to use the boys washroom like him, since I’ve been telling him about wanting to be a boy. When I went to the washroom I just felt so happy. I couldn’t stop smiling after that. I felt like myself. It’s funny how small things like using the washroom can make a person feel amazing. What I’m trying to say is, you do you boo. Do what makes you feel happy. Dress in whatever clothing you want, as long as it is appropriate of course. Be whatever you want to be. Hang out with whoever you want to hang out with. Just be yourself. It may be hard, I know how it feels. After all, I’m still going through it. But we can all do it together. Don’t let anyone tell you who you are. You’re the only one that really knows you.
Hi, I'm a trans male, born female. Ever since I was really young I wanted to be a boy. I dressed like a boy and I played with boys. I sobbed whenever my mom tried to get me to wear a dress. When I was in eighth grade I decided to come out. I cut my hair super short, shaved in that popular pixie cut like style and I wrote a speech. Then I chickened out because of my dads family. They are pretty homophobic and awful. I started wearing skirts because my mom said that if I didn't people would think I was a boy and I didn't want that. I did want that. I started chest binding a few months after that. All DIY, Mulan type. I look back now and realize how dangerous that was but I didn't care. First I came out to me friends then to my family a few years later. They were extremely supportive. Many people doubted me because I am a gay trans male but I'm happy with my choice and I feel much happier now.
Oli Ver Is there any way I could talk to you? I was born female as well, but of course I’m having some doubts as to whether or not this is really how I identify. I myself feel as though I’m a gay trans male but have no way to come out and just talking to someone about this who may understand would just be incredibly helpful.
When I was like 5 years my 2 best friends were boys lol And I had just a friend who is a GIRL... I remember when I puched someone in his nose and broke it...(I was born with the instinct) I admit that when I was a little, up to 8 years old I liked My little pony😂, but also Pokemon (-because of fights) And I liked a lot video games. I have done girl stuff when I was a little one, but now I do boy stuff a lot since 10.(I am 12.5 years old) And my worst experience is...(-a little bit funny) I was with a girl and she said: (note-her name is Daria) Daria: Hey do you want to do a makeup challenge? Me: Uhhhhh... yea...(NO) Daria: Awesome! Let's begin! Me: "It will be fun" yay(* sarcasm *) Daria: It's my turn to do a makeup up for you! * A few minutes later * Daria: Done! Look in the mirror! Me: O.O Kill me! Wtf?! That's my worst experience😂😂😂
Sophus Strange Of course! I agree that’s it’s not a decision, I am trans (FTM) myself, and if I could choose, I would choose not be trans. It’s very difficult and heart wrenching. I wish you the best of luck ❤️
Hey! One of my best friends is FTM. He isn't old enough to go through the transformation. His family is very, very homophobic. He cannot come out because they will hate him, and they would even send him to a therapy-thing.. trying to change his mind. Earlier tonight, his parents and family (since they do not know about him being trans) were saying he needs to be a ‘better girl’ and get a boyfriend and to act more lady-like and that he is disgusting and acts like a boy. He gets so depressed and suicidal from his family, and I don't know how to help him. I hate seeing him hurt... and I don't know what to do for him... any advice?
Hey, I'm really sorry he's in this situation with his family. I'm not sure what to suggest for you to do, other than continue to support him. That support will be invaluable. Depending on how open he is, talk to him about things and remind him that things will not always be this hard, they will get better. Maybe encourage him to talk to others who will be accepting and can offer him advice. I hope this could help a little and that things get better for him soon!
I used to be that one kid who was basically who the stereotype on what little girls was based on. Due to that, my recent struggles with gender have been difficult since I've heard that a good amount of the transmasc community was more drawn to things labeled as boy things while I was happy to be girly even if now it makes me kinda dysphoric. Glad I found this video even if it's a bit older.
This is exactly what I needed to hear. I've been questioning for almost 3 or so years, and everyday I just imagine how happy I would be male. I keep going back and forth, and I'll probably go back again, but I think I might truly be trans. So for the first time I've ever done this: Hi, I'm Roman (M) and I'm transgender. Nice to meet you!
@@Fostero7 Being "trans" is a lie from masons, search about them, be not deceived by them. none are "trans", all are victims of masonry depopulation agenda.
Hi. First, I just wanted to say that all of the stories in the comment section have really helped me, and I decided might as well contribute my story/position. So, I was born as a female, but I don't want to be a girl. I want to be a boy. I first started thinking, "Hey, maybe I'm transgender," about 3 months ago. Since then I have come out to my close friends, and they accept me. But even though I have come out to some people, I'm still not 100% sure I'm trans at times. It's confusing. Like at some points I am very masculine... actually I am pretty much always masculine. When I was younger I didn't really think about whether I was a boy or a girl. Actually, a few times when I was a kid I thought about, "What if I was a boy?" I tended to play with more masculine toys, (toy cars, and... stuff; I can't remember much). I was forced to wear girls clothing, which I never exactly liked, but I wore it because I didn't think I had a choice in whether I wore girls or boys clothing. More recently I have started to wear clothes that makes me look more masculine. Mostly just border shorts/boys swimming trunks, with a gender-neutral t-shirt in more "masculine colours", (red, blue, black... idk really) I also have short hair. I got short hair *before* I even knew what transgender was. All that I knew was that I wanted short hair, a boys haircut even. I've always been considered a Tomboy. I had a guy friend in elementary school, but we later stopped talking cause he had other friends that he'd rather hang out with. In 7th grade (I'm in 7th grade), I finally got into a friend group. My friend group is all-girls (4 people total, including me) but they are very much like me. I get along with them very well. Now, the dreaded topic of my body, and my dysphoria. I have never liked the idea of me being feminine or having a feminine body in any way, (wearing dresses/skirts, wearing makeup, having boobs, having prominent hips, ect.). I've never liked my soft, round face/body and I wish that it'd become rougher. Luckily, because of my genes, I can grow a moustache, without going on T, but it's a bit strange when the people that don't know that I'm trans make a comment like, "You know you have a bit of a moustache, right?" then I respond with, "I know." Yeah... Anyway, my friends are now all calling me by my preferred name and pronouns (Maxx and him/he/his), and I like it so much more than [Deadname] and she/her pronouns. I wear a binder every time I go outside. I was able to convince my grandma to get me a binder by telling her it was just a type of sports bra. AND, good luck to anyone else reading through this comment section. Hope my story or someone else's story helps you figure out whatever you are going through. :]
It happens the same to me. Until a year ago I didn't think about if I was a boy or a girl but one day I saw myself on a photo and I thought "Hey... Right, I'm a girl, I look like a girl in that photo." and I felt strange.
I'm 18 and just finding out I'm trans and even though my mom is very blatantly not transphobic I'm afraid to open up because it'll just cause stress and anxiety so I'm just waiting to start transitioning till I leave for college 😔
That is so relatable for me. I‘m 18 and I started thinking that I‘m trans about half a year ago. But it started, when I heard about the term non-binary and started identifiying with it. I had never thought that I could be trans. But now I just think that I would be happier as a boy
I'm 14, i dont know if my mom is transphobic or not but she made a comment about me acting like a boy once so im scared to tell her, i dont if i am yet but i feel i would be happier as a boy than a girl
Wow, these comments have really helped me. I thought I was wrong, I feel like I'd prefer to be male but it was something I had to love 100%, and that I couldn't feel feminine at all. Writing that down seems ridiculous now. After watching some of Jamie's videos and reading these comments, I think I might be ready to talk to some of my close friends about this. Thank you all for sharing your stories and feelings
This comment is years old but yes! I'm terrified of being wrong and regrets and changing, but it's a constant on my mind since representation of trans men like Gottmik has become available.
@@aidenBpositive I socially transitioned shortly after I made this comment. 4 years later, I've been on hormones for 1.5 years, had top surgery 3 months ago, and I'm more comfortable as me than I ever have been. I still don't feel 100% male, and I've embraced some of my femininity (still working on that, dysphoria). I love that there's trans men like Gottmik, Elliot Page, and our Jamie here to help young people figure themselves out, and I only hope there will be more rise to fame in the near future! After I made this comment, I told my mum that I think I'm trans, and we spent a day together where she called me by my chosen name and pronouns, and the gender euphoria was eye-opening. If you have someone you can talk to and maybe try out a new name or pronouns, I highly recommend it. It can be nice to create a safe-space where you can explore your identity with a friend or family member. Good luck!
I really think I'm trans but my mom always talks about how she's so happy about having a daughter and how she'd be sad if she only had boys and it's just so hard for me to understand myself and how I'm feeling when she's like this. I have nobody to tell about it either
I accidentally came out to my parents too early and theyre transphobic I mean like I told them but they said "you're a girl you just dont like girly things" I c ant tell if theyre im denial or just think Im stupid but I know for a fact that Im trans and then I came out to my friends and they are way more accepting. But how do I explain to my parents that im not joking
ArchergirlGaming Me too. I came out to my mom 3 years ago and she got really angry. She forgot after a while and I never brought it up again though I'm still yearning for her to accept and help me.
Maybe u could educate them on transgender ect?? Lile force them to learn. And if they still dont like accept you i fuess u could show them how much that affects you emotionally wise idk
I'm 30 and I grew up when it was very taboo to be LGBT at all in the US. My parents also said it was a phase. So I just didn't talk to them about it anymore, and just went and lived my life, and eventually they saw me doing this stuff and realized it was the real deal. I went to the prom with a female (I was a female), I was the only person in my school doing that, and I didn't make a thing about it to anyone, just acted like it was normal. Same with everything. The thing is, most people need YOU to set the social cues for THEM. If you act like it's normal, they'll feel the need to conform to that. If you act like you need to defend it and convince them, they'll feel like it's fake.
Okay so uhm, I read all the comments about their life stories and I honestly cried because there were quite a few a relate to. 1. the girly girl- When I was younger I always found the dolls, babies, and dresses so amazing and cool. But then when I was in 2nd grade I wore dresses to school everyday(Btw, I am a girl) A girl asked me "why are you always wearing dresses" I didn't answer because I didn't know how to respond. I don't know if I'm going through a faze but I don't really feel exactly 'right' in my body. I've always had bigger "female parts" and they don't feel correct. My mom always wanted a boy for cars, trucks, dinosaurs, video games. I've always liked more boy-ish clothes and stuff. Today, I finally asked my mom about binding for 'a cosplay' but it was really to see if my body felt right. I've always had better relationships with men(as friends) then girls. The girls were always too focused on boys, or dances, or even social media and looking pretty. Never once in my school life have I been not insecure about my body. 2- My name feels different. I hate it. The name 'Madison' feels way too formal and stuffy. I don't know. I might just be a tomboy or just in a phase. If you read this thank you!!
Thats what im thinking too, when i was younger i was the more girly sister while my sister acted like a tomboy, but now i dont feel right in my own body, but at the same time i like wearing girl clothes, but i dont like my female body parts, i want to tell my mom but im scared
Hi Jamie, I recently stumbled upon your youtube account. For school we have to search news articles and make a report about it. Yes there's a news article about you and your transition here in the Netherlands! I might've picked your story because my teacher told me to stop messing about and search for real work and this is me protesting against him. But I've also picked your story because I'm quite interested by it. I've always called myself a boy-girl. Not because I'm transgender but because I'm a girl who never played with dolls but rather played with lego or cars. You'll also never see me wearing make-up and I'll NEVER wear a dress... bbrrr only the thought of that. But back to the point. Jamie, you got me - a 15 year old dutch girl - interested in your story, I'm making a school project about you. I hope you don't mind. You're awesome, keep up the good work! :) (also my younger brother's name is Jamie so your name is great)
For some reason, this video made me so happy- I’ve had a childhood where girls like pink, wear dresses, and all that good stuff. When I was about 7 or 8, I started hanging out with the boys in our class more, and that made me think, does this make me a boy? At the time, I didn’t know what the term transgender was, my mother only told me there was gay and straight. Male and female. I stumbled across the community when I was about 10, and that’s where I found so many different sexualities, genders, and so on. And when I learned about being trans, that’s when I thought, could I be trans? A boy? After that, I started to get drawn to clothing that a bit more masculine, yet still feminine at the same time. I’ve always dreamt of being a boy, yet I had an overwhelming fear about coming out to my family, fearing that they’ll say “oh it’s just a phase”, or “what’ll happen to my little girl”. Yet I’ve told most of my friends, to address me as Rohannie, and to use he/him or they/them pronouns, along with some teachers as well. For right now at least, I’m still wondering if I want to be genderqueer or trans, yet I know that I won’t be anyone’s “daughter”.
I just hate that as minor, I can't do anything about how I feel. It's like, I'm out to my classmates, yet everyone makes a joke about it, which I get, I can't expect them to be fine with it, and completely accept it, but it still hurts. I tried to bind my chest, tho I try to let my body get some rest. I think that it's weird how I think I figured it out, yet I still feel bad in my body. And the worst part is that I can't tell my family about it, cuz when I mentioned it to my mom how I hate my chest, she didn't even try to understand what I meant, she simply said that I should just get used to it. And I constantly hear my brother talk about how he hates trans people, and that he would b3at me up if I'd ever become trans. So it's hard.
I have recently been trying to figure out my gender identity and sexuality but I wasn’t sure at first about who I was, I was was born a girl but I’m not sure if I want to be one. Near the start of the year, I realised that I felt like I was part of the LGBTQ+ community. I assumed that I was bi at first as I knew that I was attracted to boys and since I felt different I thought that would be attracted to girls too. After a few weeks of thinking I found out that no, I didn’t feel attracted to girls. This stage was hard for me because I just felt really confused about it all, I knew that I was gay but I wasn’t attracted to girls. I did some research about the different sexualities but nothing seemed to fit me. I ended up finding your page and soon I was watching a lot of your videos and then it started to make a bit more sense. I thought about what I knew about me and tried to put it all together: I never liked playing with dolls or doing makeup and wearing dresses, I felt like I was gay but only attracted to boys not girls, I always just thought of myself as a tomboy and that I wasn’t a girly girl like everyone else. It only made sense that I was trans FTM. However I don’t feel like I wasn’t supposed to be a girl so I thought that I might be non-binary but it just didn’t feel right I know that everyone would be supportive as my friends are omni and pan and my mum watches a tv show about someone who is FTM and she uses correct pronouns for him I’m still figuring everything out but watching your videos has really helped me discover how I feel
*Thank you SO SO much for this* It's been one and a half years since i've been thinking about being trans and even though I'm sure about being trans, I'm incredibly dysphoric because of my parents. This has helped me so much and it made me smile. When I first though about being trans, it was when I found out my friend was trans. After breaking up with my boyfriend last year [when I was still labled as a female], I started realizing I felt like I wasn't myself. When I started feeling like this, I asked my friends to call me by they/them and he/him pronouns and after a few weeks I felt less confused about myself and being called a male felt really comfortable. Then one day, I had a whole meltdown in my bathroom and that's when everything clicked. When I looked at my face and down to my body, nothing felt right. The dresses, the long hair, the pronouns, nothing felt comfortable. But until now, my parents are getting just suspicous and calling it a phase or just being tomboy, without even talking to me about it properly. But this week, i've been feeling extremely depressed and dysphoric so I came to YT for help and this popped up. I really appreciate your words, thank you.
I tried being girly, I always go back to being and looking more masculine though. All I hear from my family and everyone is "it's a phase". I don't know.. I don't think it is but I'm 16 is it too late
Hey, I know it‘s been some time since your comment. I just wanted to say, that it‘s never „too late“ to find yourself. There are many people who found themselves (as trans) when they were around 40, 50 or even older. So, you see, sometimes it takes time or you never even think about finding yourself. I hope you understand what I‘m trying to say. English is not my first language 😅
Im here at 1am in the morning, I can’t sleep because my identity has been driving me crazy, I don’t know who I am at the moment and it honestly sucks. I currently identify as non binary, and have done for months. But now I think I might ftm trans.
Jammi, you are a joy and love transmitter! You just effuse joy and peace and love...........that is a tremendous and wonderful gift! Thank you so much, Jammi...............Ray
So... I don’t know if I am transgender or not. I question me being a female sometimes, but I just don’t know if I’d regret the descicion or not. I’m thinking just to tell my mom, I’m not sure yet...
I’m always so confused about everything. Like I completely hate my body because I see myself as fat even though I’m not really overweight. I also hate looking at mirrors because it feels weird. Every time I go shopping with my mom I always fantasize about being able to shop in the men’s section. I don’t feel comfortable in my gender but, I don’t know if I’m trans. I know there’s something wrong with me. I change my social media to a male name that I think fits me (as you can see). I always feel happy whenever I say something like “hello I’m conner” in my head and I said “hello I’m izzy” just felt completely different and uncomfortable. I really enjoy it when people accidentally call me by he/him pro nouns.i hate every time I’m addressed as Isabella/izzy at school because it gives me and uncomfortable feeling. I hate showers and I use men’s soap, but I’m scared someone will smell it. I often fantasize about people calling me conner and me coming of as male. I just get this fear of rejection. One time I made a binder and I pinned my hair to look male and I put my brothers clothes on and it scared me how right it felt. I’m just always confused and I don’t know what to do anymore
I can really feel you. I get the same feeling everytime looking at a mirror. Im not fat but because of my female parts (you know breast and FUCKING THIGHS) it makes me super uncomfortable and gives me a feeling of being fat or overweight. I don't know what to do or if i was really trans cuz when i think about transitioning thing it really scares me and think i don't want to do it BUT at the same time i always wish i had a male body it's much more comfortable and cooler and i think it can even make me confident since im not confident AT ALL in my own skin...
as someone who's egg just cracked, so to speak, in their mid 20s.... I just couldn't ignore it anymore. listening to you and other people talk is super soothing as my mind goes 100 miles an hour from fear to happiness and everything inbetween... thank you for all your content. it'll take me a lot of time to unpack all of this after being in denial for something so obvious all these years.
This video that made me realise that I was trans. that was 8 years ago. I have now been on T for three months, and it is awesome. I just wanted to say thank you for being a positive and informative trans outlet, that have helped me through the wait time. And I hope you keep being the amazing and awesome person and get everything that want in life. - a fellow trans man
I remeber when I was in like, pre-k, I asked my mom and my friend, "How do you become a boy?" I've liked girls for as long as I can remember, and I thought I was gay. I've been bullied before, but over the summer before fifth grade, I realized that there was a possibility i am trans. I went to get a haircut once, and when the women asked wat kind of haircut syle i wanted, I said "A boy cut". I am too scared to tell me parents and grandparents, although I know that they would accept me, becuase I have always been my grandpa's little girl, and my mom likes to play with my long hair. About a week ago, I took a shower, and put my hair into a ponytail to hide it behind my neck, and I played with my hair to make it look more masculine. I sometimes pull on my shoulders to try to make them broader.
I remember asking my mom, out of the blue, if i was supposed to be a boy and she said no and why, i think its because i said i felt like I was supposed to be a guy. I still believe that.
I’m a closeted transgender FTM Christian - yes, transgender & Christian - & for a long while, I was questioning whether or not I really *was* trans considering that other super conservative Christians {my immediate family, for example} would think that I’ve completely lost my faith, which, I actually haven’t. To be honest, I feel that my faith has actually grown stronger since I’ve learned I’m trans, all due to the fact that Jesus loves me for who I am & nothing could ever make Him stop loving me. Whether or not you too are transmasc/transfem & Christian, just remember that there is _always_ going to be someone out there who truly does care for you. 🫶
While I am not trans I have a tremendous amount of respect for you in making this video Jamie. Thanks for sharing your experiences as there are so many who need and should hear stories similar to them in order to discover and be comfortable in whichever sexual orientation they identify with.
Great advice,( love all your videos Jaimie!)... but I will just add a safety tip, DON'T LEAVE ANYTHING WRITTEN if you think someone that you live with may snoop around and find it later! I did that accidentally a few years ago and trust me when I say that is not a pleasant way to come out😂😟😨🤯
I know this is a old video but I'm so glad I found it I have been questioning and I really don't feel comfortable being a female I've tried pushing myself to be feminine which really isn't something that someone should do but I've tried and it won't work so I tried using different pronouns like They/Them which still doesn't feel right so I put myself in a imaginary situation like imagining if I were trans and it felt amazing I loved imagining people seeing me as a male I'm still not completely sure but this really helped me thank you so much
Thank you for this video and all the comments here are so helpful. Right now I really don't know my gender and I'm too afraid to ask. I was born female and as a kid I did really like dresses and sometimes also barbies. However I did dream of magically transforming into a boy or being reborn as a boy or something like that. Right now I'm 14 (almost 15) and I don't know. I don't really experience body dysphoria (that happened a grand total of 2 times) and overall I'm comfortable in my body, sometimes I do feel I would be happier if I had a male body and it's so confusing. Society also sucks, I like playing video games and that kind of stuff, but there's always boys teasing me about how childish the games i play are and that girls aren't good gamers. It really makes me question my gender. Right now I am experimenting with pronouns online and sometimes when I'm alone I also dress like a boy (2 sportsbras as a binder, hair tucked into a hat, baggy shirts and pants and sometimes socks as a packer) It does make me feel happy, but also a little weird. sorry if this story didn't make any sense, I just needed to get it off my chest.
So I was born a female and idk what gender I am, I prefer being more masculine, I think I might be a trans boy but at the same time I think I might be gender fluid. Sometimes I think to myself “what if I’m just a girl and I’m just confused” but I don’t feel comfortable being a girl. (I don’t mind people saying she/her cause I’m used to it but I prefer he/him) I also read online someone who used to relate to me but then that feeling kinda faded away when they grew up. So I don’t know if I’m trans or just a confused girl
I know in my current situation, coming out before I'm an adult would most likely be a big mistake, considering family issues. However, I do hate waiting for the right timing. If you feel like you know you're trans, but your family won't accept it at the time, just try to take small steps that are possible towards your goal. For example: -I shaved my head (a short haircut helps) -masculine/gender neutral clothing - I'm trying to grow out all my body hair, even my face/legs. It isn't all about top/bottom surgery, or testosterone. As long as you believe one day you'll reach your ideal, any progress helps.
ok i know im about 5 years late, but i really just need to put this out somewhere, so here it goes. i think im trans. only up until recently did i realize this, but im not sure if im right or not. all my life i’ve been hyper feminine. skirts, hair down to my hooha, all female friends, etc. and even for most of this year, i was (for some reason) extra, *extra* feminine as i started a new school this year. there was barely a day that went by i want wearing a fashionable flowy skirt or a cute dress, and if it wasn’t those, it was something else that i felt made me look more like the girls i saw around me. and then, in the middle of the year, something in me just… burst. i’d started wearing beanies more, as it made me appear to have short hair. i started wearing baggier clothes to disguise my chest, whereas a month before i would’ve been trying to flaunt it as best i could without breaking dress code. i went thrifting a lot, and did a huge wardrobe purge of all the things that made me feel too girly and tried to replace them as best as possible when shopping. my style changed dramatically, and my parents even agreed to let me cut my hair *way* shorter, which i’m very happy about. ass length hair begone! ive been experimenting with pronouns, and as of late, im beginning to favor he/him more and more. she/her makes me uncomfortable at best, and i flinch every time i introduce myself to someone with my deadname. they/them is okay, but it just doesn’t feel like me, you know? i recently asked some of my closer friends to call me a new name that sounds like nickname of my deadname, but it feels too… close. i’ve been thinking about achilles but im not sure if that’s the right one, or if there’s one i like more that i just haven’t found yet, and i don’t wanna change my name too much. i just wish it were simpler. help meeee
I understand where you're coming from. I used to be very feminine and never even doubted my gender despite knowing about trans people and supporting them. But then, partially because of Covid, I had more time to reflect on myself and became very aware of how I presented to other people. I used to dress myself up without seeing myself there, but now I try to cater to what I want to look like. Just be comfortable and don't put pressure or limits on yourself. Other ppl are already trying to limit you. Don't feel guilty, no matter the outcome. I'm a bit of a hypocrite, but I wish you the best!
I’ve been questioning since I was 8 and I’m 22 and I’m so freaking stressed because I want to be young as a guy and not have to wait a million years to look the way I want to
Ive been thinking about this for years and hiding it from myself and I have definitely not told anybody but it's been on my mind a lot more recently keeping me up at night. I decided to start trying things this week to see how I feel about them because I wrote that off as super weird to myself when I was about 12.
@@not_Tamb0 yeah, they've asked me questions about how I feel about my body. I felt comfortable answering all of them :) then we talked about if I can get top surgery without nipples when I'm 18, and other stuff. They've told me about some lgbt websites (please give more :D) and now we're talking about my gender :) they're not sure if I'm trans yet, (because of my autism.) but they said they'll find out sometime.
I watched this video around 3 years ago almost tearing up "that cant be me" and now im fully out to everyone and actually pass im only 14 so i am still pre everything the only part that sucks is that i have to be stealth rn i recently moved to ky and no one from my school knows but its for my safety but i greatly appreciate this video and others it has helped me so much through my transition
About six months ago, I came out as bi. Right before soccer practice. When I got back and took a shower, my dad asked me to talk to him by the garden. I was so sure they would accept me, because a few days before they said they would love me no matter what. I was wrong..so, so, so absolutely wrong. He said it was to stand, then he said it was to fit in. He even said it was because of my anxiety. Now I know I’m transgender ftm Pansexual. This is the worst thing to ever happen to me. I wish I was different. I wish I was a straight cisgender female like my family always wanted me to be. But I have to be that kind of “daughter”. I had to be like this, the one that nobody wishes for. I’m a disappointment, nobody in my family would love me if they found out their sweet, girly (grand)daughter/niece that they would always dress up femininely was a boy. They buy me tight shirts and makeup. They call me names like “sissy” and “babygirl” and I’m tired of it. I want things to change, but they never will. I’m tired of being like this. I wish they would’ve just disowned me the day I said “well I’m Bisexual” I’m tired of living, but living is just so damn wonderful. I’ve wanted to cut, but my body screamed no. I can’t do that to myself. I just couldn’t bring myself to ever do that to my body.
First off, I am so glad that you are resisting the urge to self harm and that you know life is wonderful. Please stay safe and stay strong. I promise you that there are a million other ways to cope that are so much better for you. As for the homophobia in your family, I know how difficult that is. I know that things would be easier if you were cisgender and heterosexual, but this is who you are, and that is beautiful and amazing. You have to learn to see that. If there is one thing that you can always change, it is your perspective. If you change the way you see yourself and you accept and love yourself, you will feel so much better about this. Lastly, never lose hope. It could take a while, but your family members could change their minds about all of this. The most common cause of homophobia (or anything similar to it) is a lack of understanding. If your family learns more about this, they may look at it differently and accept you. If they don't, hang in there. There are so many other people out there who will love and accept you as you are who can become your chosen family.
I’m both happy and sad. I asked my dad for a binder and he said no. He supports me, he just thinks that binders look to tight and he doesn’t want me to suffocate in one so he’s going to buy me more sports bras. (I came out to my fam as trans in 2020 btw, they support me. They just want me to wait until I’m an adult to decide if I’m sure about taking the changes) Edit: I’m ftm
i have those: i don’t hate my body, but i’d rather be a boy thought. these thoughts have been bothering me for a while. i just don’t know if i am confusing myself, convincing myself i’m something i’m not, or if i actually am. plus, my parents are like: “that’s a boy thing, that’s a girl thing” and they don’t do it on purpose, but i can’t even express myself
Around the age of 15-16 I decided that I think I am transgender male and uses he/him pronouns. Then when I graduated high school I came out to my parents. They took it as joke at first then I was left for college. I was able to come out on campus and I liked how they refer me with male pronouns and being able to be me. However at the same time I was terrified if my parents found out. Then the double life in college failed after I attempted suicide. I took a break from college. Currently I still think I am transgender male but I am using two sets of pronouns he/him and they/them. My parents are still not accepting me and I started to question myself if I am really trans or am I faking. Have I tricked myself into this of wanting to become a boy.
You're videos are super helpful to me. I haven't changed my account name on here because I can't do it yet because I have a lot of stuff backed up on this account. But my name is Rain, thank you so much for making these videos Jamie!
For me I struggle with that physically I desperately wish I was male, but socially I am hesitant. I like my social relationship as a girl with other girls, I’m scared of presenting as a man, I’m scared of using a men’s room. I don’t know where I fall with this and it’s scary.
I really need help. Through out my whole life I had been balancing between feminity and masculinity. When I look at my female body I feel beautiful but also weird and when I imagine myself in a male body I feel excited but also weird..? The thing is that I don't have many signs from the past to show if I'm truly a boy or girl and I really need help. Also I am SO SO happy that you want to help me by saying I'm "gender fluid", "bigender", "demigender", but... (please don't start typing really fast in caps) I don't believe in more than 2 genders. PLEASE DON'T GET MAD AT ME. I respect your pronouns even if it's something really freaking ridiculous like "ziximem/ziximom/ziximam" (I know that doesn't actually exist but you know what I mean, right?). So please if somebody can help, please please do. (also here are some things that might help you help me): 1. I love short hair. Every single year of my life I always cut my hair in Summer but now I happily have a pixie cut so I have short hair all year long. 2. I always had a masculine-feminine style. Basically, I wear whatever makes me feel comfortable and cool. 3. I like make up. 4. I shave my armpits in the Summer/when I go swimming. 5. I like to shave my legs when I'm bored (also I like the smooth feeling afterwards) 6. I like when I have bruises and little scars from falling or climbing because it makes me feel stronger (I don't self-harm on purpose I just like it when there are memories on my skin from climbing a big tree or helping a friend when somebody tried to hurt them). 7. I love men products. 8. I like sports even though I'm terribly bad at them. 9. I hate having long and painted nails. 10. I used to feel insecure about my hairy legs and arms until one day I became in love with them because they made me feel "cool" (or what I call now, masculine). 11. I'm mad at myself when I'm "not masculine enough". 12. I like my soft feminine face features. 13. Dresses and skirts always made me feel 'uneasy and weird' and the more older I get the more they make me feel that way. 14. I started crying when I realised that my boobs got bigger (BTW I'm 13 so I'm still in the middle of puberty). So, I guess that's all. I'd really appreciate if somebody can help, thanks ^^♡
You might want to concentrate on how you feel in regards to your body, since gender expression can be confusing and does not necessarily dictate one's gender.
Maybe this isn't very helpful but I'd just like to say that nonbinary is an actual thing. You see, what makes someone trans is how their brain is wired to match a certain body type and when your brain tells you that you should be physically a certain gender but your body doesn't match, it typically causes dysphoria. Human brains are very complicated, and it is certainly possible for people to be born as physically both sexes. I don't believe there are more than 2 actual genders, rather there are two but you can be a combination of both or a lack of either. Of course I'm no expert, this is really just my opinion formed from the information I've gathered, but there are far too many people who identify as nonbinary to just brush them off as confused or special snowflakes. Perhaps it's a combination of psychological and physiological factors that creates a nonbinary identity? With that being said, wanting to be masculine doesn't exactly make you trans. Maybe you're just a tomboy? Or maybe you're trans, but only you can really determine that because you're the only one who knows how you feel. If it helps, I'm kind of in the same situation. I want to be androgynous or sort of boyish but I also kind of admire feminity. I think one thing you could do is sort of try being more male/androgynous, just sort of try out things until you find out what fits, maybe ask your friends to refer to you with male pronouns for a while if you can? Unfortunately I can't do all that myself, but I feel like it could probably help :P Good luck!
I'm a huge gamer and always kinda hid myself in my games so I made a little diary in one of mine and when I had any thoughts I didn't know I put them down. Every week or so I'd go through everything and read my thoughts again. It helped a lot. I don't exactly feel trapped in the wrong body but instead I always feel like I expect something else on my body and when I talk I expect a different voice. This along with looking back at my thoughts and how I felt when I was younger made it clear that I was trans. I knew by 8 easily. Possibly 6 even. I regret not coming out because I'm sure my dad (at the time, I was adopted but not fully adopted and my parents who raised me were family as they were my biological father's parents but now they passed on and I live with my mom and grandma, thats the short version) knew something because he talked to me about gender affirming surgery and they both were LGBTQ friendly. Big thing was I never knew about trans so I had no idea what I was feeling. I didn't know it wasn't "normal" and didn't know others felt similarly. Now about a year or 2 ago (2018-2020 I think) I finally uncovered it all and understood. I feel better when in the right clothes and feel better being called my name rather than deadnamed. The more I accept it the stronger it feels and the worse it feels but at the same time I feel it'll feel right someday if I keep going. I'm gonna feel like I'm me and be less depressed. Your videos help me understand and bring a little laughter and joy in my life. Don't let anyone tell you any different! You are you and you can be and feel like the person you are! Stay strong!
Hey so I reached out to Childline last night, and I know a lot of you might not live in the UK to access it, so I'll give you a run-down on what I got told (cutting out my personal info though): It sounds like you have thought about this a lot, but you have a lot of fear around coming out or later feeling that you are not trans-male. Your identity is your business. No one else's. You can choose to be who you want to be, who you are comfortable being and you can display this identity in any way that feels right for you. Gender and sexuality can be very fluid, and it can also change over time. Sometimes people know who they are from a very young age, and it sounds like you have come across that in some of your research. Other times it is later in life that people find themselves and become comfortable with who they are. It can feel like a lot of pressure when we do online research and compare ourselves to others. It sounds like some of this research has helped and given you some things to try, like changing your hair. It also sounds like you have questioned some things when you see differences. Everyone will be a little different and not everyone's journey is the same. We are here for you on this journey, no matter who you are and if this changes or stays the same. You deserve to be happy and feel comfortable in your skin. It sounds like you are putting a lot of pressure on yourself and I can hear the times you are more comfortable is when you represent more like a boy. No one has the right to tell you who you are. This is your choice, and it is also your choice if it changes or if it does not. You have also spoken about being feminine and also feeling like a boy - being a boy does not automatically mean you have to be masculine. Being a girl does not automatically mean you have to be very feminine. I am wondering how it might feel to do more things that make you feel more comfortable. It doesn't have to be things boys do, or things girls do. You can sit however you choose and you can walk any way that is comfortable for you. You have the right to do what makes you comfortable. This might mean some days wearing socks in your trousers, or wearing your hair in a shorter style. Your feelings are valid and we are here to support you. I hope this helped any of you who are also struggling.
for the past two years i've been struggling with this and there's just a constant thought that i'm not and i'm just pretending/faking to feel this way...
Here I was thinking that all trans people know for sure who they are and what I’m going through is wrong and uncommon and stupid. This comments section helped me more than the video
I started questioning my gender about twenty minutes ago, it's the second time it happens and I'm just really confused about everything. Am I a boy? A girl? Genderfluid? Who am I? Do I feel comfortable being a girl? I feel desperate to know who I am and it is not. nice.
I am completly confused anout my gender. I was assigned female at birth but i never gave it much thought when i was a kid. However, last summer my school started a LGBTQ+ support group and i joined as I had already come out as pan. They asked me how I identify myself in the specturm of male or female. I told them I was fluid and that i was still questioning. However, Im pretty sure im trans. This might sound weird but I envy those who were assigned male at birth. I wish I was born a male several times a day. My mom dosent want me to buy binders so i use sports bra or black graphic T-shrits to hide my chest. One day as i tried to talk to my mom about this she blew up and started screaming at me. After some time i asked to see a therapist. Mainly it was for my depression and social anxiety but i also wanted somewhere safe to express myself. Unfortunatly, that was not the case. I told my therapist first about my sexualtity and she accepted however, she is very transphobic. She has a cousin who just transitioned to female and she dosent accept her. It broke my heart to hear that so i stayd quiet. I only have one friend who is also queer and accepts me if i were to transition. However, EVERY SINGLE ONE of my "friends" are homophopics/transphobics and simply call me weird, freak, confused or think im doing it for attention. My stepdad is EXTREMLY homophobic and he made that VERY CLEAR every thime i would look at anything remotely queer. I begged my mom to cut my hair short like a male but she wouldnt allow it so i compromised and cut it above my shoulders. All my life i have been known as the "girly-girl" because i didnt think about gender but now, i wear my hair in a beanie whenever im home since my school dosent allow hats. I always where sport bras and black t-shrits whenever i can. After some time of researching Im pretty sure Im trans but im scared what others will think. Thanks if you read my long rant. Sorry for it being so long. ~CJ
Your videos are very helpful, I would just like to say thank you! ^-^ However just some questions about what you personally would think? My family is pretty much separated into one side being very religious and the other family members are very traditional Asians. Now I know that I should be focusing on my own feelings but, what do I do when I've lived a certain way for so long. Gender has always been confusing for me, although certain things were clear and made me want to pursue this type of life. However, shouldn't I take into account what my family thinks? Topics like this aren't discussed in the part of Asia where I used to live, it was always considered a taboo type of ordeal. Likewise with my religious side of the family. Has there ever been a moment in your life where you were scared to be yourself? Sometimes it feels like this fear controls my life. How do you get past it? How are you brave enough to ask these type of questions and give this type of advice? How can I become as brave and strong as you? Thanks for taking the time to look at this comment if you see it, and thanks for being your true self!
thank you so much, it really helped me and agdhakd I'm bad at expressing myself. I'm just really happy after seeing this video because you are so cute and helpful; thank you, jammi, thank you so much for being who you are ❤
I feel like I'm invalid because I like my long hair. I know there are a ton of cis boys with long hair but I just feel like I should want short hair because every other trans boy does.
I am pretty sure I am Transgender because: 1. I hate being female. 2. When my parents were at market I was trying to seem male. 3. I wanted to pass as a guy. 4. I reject the girl stuff. 5. I play Assassin's Creed, Call of Duty, GTA 5, etc, the boy's games. 6. I want to have a super cool boy haircut. 7. I want a masculine name. 8. I hate my gender role and the stereotypes about it. 9. I always choose the male character in a game. 10. I pretend in every second of my life that I am a boy, not a girl(-eww) 11. I like girls(Note: I don't want to be lesbian at all!😫😭) 12. Someone asked me "Do you have a boyfriend?" And I responded " Uh...What?" In my mind I was something like " Man, I really need a girlfriend..." Do you think I am Trans? (Note: I have body dysphoria)
Started questioning the other day. Luckily my best friend is lesbian, and she has been helping me. I told her that I may want to go by he/him now, but I may wait 4 years till I come out 100%. She is the only person that knows. She has been sending me videos, articles, and some quizzes. Looked up this video to see. Right now I’m either tran or a Demi boy. Hopefully this helps
100% know I'm trans, 100% want to fully physically transition, just getting past the barrier of friends/family/loved ones either opposed to it, making it hard for me to do so, and not respecting my names and pronouns.
My feelings where off and on sense I was 6. I told my caretaker at the time that I didn't want long hair and they said "you're so pretty though, you're a beautiful young lady" and they kept pushing and pushing me to do "girl things". I didn't understand what was going on, I was confused and was upset with them. It was disturbing me. Without thinking I said to him "I wish I was born a boy." And he yelled "don't you ever say anything like that again, in this house we appreciate how Jesus made us" and then he made me stand in the corner for a half and hour. I was so confused and didn't understand why he was mad. When I got older, around 8 I was adopted by someone else but I still remembered what my previous caretaker said. I didn't talk about it but when I was 13 and developed I felt weird again. My mom yelled at me for "walking and acting like a guy." I still don't know what that means. Only recently am I accepting that I don't feel normal and that it's ok. I'm just scared I'll look like I'm looking for attention or like I'm being a snowflake. I'm extremely confused but I know I'm disphoric over my body. I'm turning 19 next month and i am still having an extremely hard time. Idk what to do.
I am a man, but although I have always tried to conform and be as masculine as possible- especially growing up and in my twenties and thirties- but despite my best efforts and athleticism, I never really felt comfortable or manly enough. I now know that the vast majority of my personality traits are feminine, and almost certainly why I failed at being the man I strived for, is because I am just very predisposed to be feminin. Since I have accepted and even embraced this, even wearing dresses, well worn charity shop loose knit cardigans, and sleeping in a nightdress, all of which feel so incredibly natural, happy, empowered and true to myself. I am not at the time of writing trying to look like a woman- as I know that I am a biological male- I am trying to truly embrace my feminine side and submit to it as it feels so right to me. Although I only wear dresses in private, unless obscured under a long coat in public, wearing them feels so right to me that I just know in my heart that living my life as a female is far more akin to my true self. I even wear women's deodorant now, and it smells so natural and beautiful to me. Gender truly is far more fluid than I ever realised, and although I categorise myself as male, in my heart, mind and self, I am definitely female. I am truly on the verge of coming out, but for the time being, I will merely further immerse, embrace and enjoy accepting my incredibly predominant feminine side. I feel guilty classifying myself alongside proper biological women, but I feel such a woman and just so feminine that this side of me far out ways my masculinity, regardless of my biology. I find it hard to classify or label myself, and just feel that I am a male, who has traits and a thought process, which is far more attuned to the female dimension, that I am accepting, embracing and wherever possible living as a woman, as it feels incredibly right and makes me far far happier 💕
i'm 23 & it's only just sort of clicked that i've always felt really resentful at everyone trying to push me into being feminine. I thought i was just a tomboy cause that's what everyone said about me for so long but i honestly don't think i resonate with the person everyone else seems to see me as. it's more like i'm playing the part ? i guess i thought it would be obvious & that i'd have really deep issues but i think i just settled into this because i didn't feel like i had any other choice than to accept it. i've spent 10 years being called gross because i don't want to shave & a lifetime being forced into dresses. (in my primary school girls weren't allowed to wear shorts) I never like the way people treat me as a girl. I think i just really wish this wasn't the case to begin with. I just really don't know how to feel or where to go from here. it took me having a son to even get to this place.
I've been questioning my identity since i discovered the lgbt community back in march 2020. a few weeks before lovely quarantine, i stumbled across an lgbt tik tok compilation and was intrigued, since i had never heard of the acronym. from there i went from label to label, starting w lesbian and moving down the list. bi. non-binary. demigirl. etc. i never understood who i was. after years of questioning recent digging made me realize that i'm ftm trans. my family isn't very accepting of the lgbt community, so i've never felt like i could come out. my moms pried and pried bc she thinks i'm lesbian, but i always deny it bc even if she thinks she's an ally, the way she acts says otherwise and she'll tell the rest of my homophobic family. i don't really know what to do. i can't really tell my friends eitehr because some may react in a negative way (which isn't my main concern) but i'm more scared of word finding it's way back to my family. i just can't deal with the anxiety of it, so i've tried my best to hide my entire identity by being super feminine around people so nobody questions it. i just wanna be myself, but i still have a little over three years before i'm 18 and can move out and be myself.
Okay so since i don't know where else to open up: I am 17 years old, AFAB and I am questioning my gender. It started around a few years ago already but up until a few weeks ago, I always pushed the topic away because I felt like it's just a phase or that it stems from my body issues in general. I also was always scared that my two only friends when i was a bit younger would tell me I was looking for attention (one of them is trans ftm, but still, I was really scared). A few months ago the dysphoria hit me hard in the face. I always had issues with my chest, and with my hips, my face, my voice, everything. I just thought that was normal or would simply be because of my already existing body issues. But no, it was rather the other way around. I started hating my body BECAUSE of my feminine features. What i realized lately is how much I actually never wanted to be the girls n social media, I just found them pretty, but i always rather wanted to look like the guys there. I started binding a few weeks ago and it helps me a lot to cope with my issues about my chest. Cut my hair shorter (shoulderlength) and I plan to cut it shorter. My social life is pretty much into both directions, I am friends with guys and with girls, but always felt more comfortable with the thought of being around boys because i feel like i rather fit in there. I only realized years ago that no boy wanted to be friends with me beceuae well, I am physically a girl. I always wanted to have a different name, and everytime in my life when i got mistaken for a boy, I felt wonderful. But what makes me feel like I may not be trans is: - I love dresses. I LOVE FEMININE CLOTHING - I don't care about my private parts, the only thing that made me uncomfortable for my whole life is the fact that I am able to carry a child. It gives me such an uncomfortable feeling that I said since i was like 7 that i will never have children. - when i was younger, i played with dolls, but also with toy cars, played football with my brothers I don't know who I am. I love femine things as much as I love masculine ones - even though I don't even know how to classify those, since i was raised rather neutral. Not a lot of things fall into one of the categories. I see everything as "for boys AND girls and everyting in between". The thing with the dresses gets me the most though. Am I trans and just a boy loving feminine things or am I just a masculine girl? I am convinced that the best way for me to feel would be to be in a male or androgynous body. But there are also days in which my dysphoria hasnt been bad and i was able to wear dresses and skirts and just told myself that nobody would actually see me as a girl in those but that I can still look neutral in them. when i was younger I never really questioned my gender, I just know that at 9 years old i started developing a chest and i thought no. I dont want this. and that feeling never stopped. The same with my period and hips. when my mum got me my first bras, i took as long as possible before the social pressure of being stared at was too much and i had to start wearing them. But as a very young child, like before 8 to 9 years, I never even felt anything about my gender - i thought i was a girl because well everyone said so. What is going on? Can someone give me advice?
My parents are the confusing semi-supportive type. Well mainly my dad. My sister and Mom are both very.. Not really quite "bi", just very open and loving. I got that too just more amplified, as a pansexual. The problem is my father. He supports what I do and never says anything bad about it, but at the same time I feel like he doesn't believe me. I came out as Genderfluid almost a year ago because it was my best explanation for my confusion, but ever since then it feels like hes been referring to me more femininely than he did before. He always called me a nickname and now he makes it a passive aggressive point to call me by my very feminine birth name. When he explained this to my friends parents he'd always say things like "Oh well... She's kind of Genderfluid right now." And idk how to tell him that I don't like it or want to be referred to masculinely because I feel like I'm making him uncomfortable by telling him to call his "daughter" a he..
So I've been saying I'm FTM for a while, but there are things that make me second guess myself.. I've known for a while that I wasn't female, and I've grown to realize I feel a lot more confident and happier when refered to with male pronouns. Chest binding makes me feel a lot happier as well, and a little more confident, but still upset because I know it will never make my chest as flat as I really want. But the only thing that makes me not feel as valid, is I'm still very unsure about transitioning though surgery. I know I want to and feel like I have a need to be on testosterone, I'm am leniant on top surgery slightly but that's about it. And the only reason I can think of why I feel that way is, I'm pan romantic. I don't have any sexual attractions. I have a brother who's trans and I'm afraid to tell him how I feel because I'm worried he'll shrug it off. And I don't really know where else to ask. I didn't want to post in my typical LGBT+ group because I was paranoid about the feedback..
Well I feel like many trans people are a bit reluctant about surgery.. I mean people in general don't really like surgery so that doesn't mean you're not trans!
I feel like everyone will think I'm a joke or think that I'm just someone who wants attention.
Same
Jalynn Allen fuck those people, man
Me too...
same, fuck those people they can keep their opinions to themselves
SO SAME
I hate that I’m totally ok with other people being trans, but not myself if I am. The thought is so terrifying.
I don't even know if you still feel this way or if you're still reading comments but for you and everybody who reads it: if you respect other people but cannot accept yourself, I still want to do it. You are valid. You are amazing. If you decide to take a new name, it's gonna be a wonderful name, whatever it is. If you decide to change your style, it's gonna be outstanding. I respect you. I wish you all the luck. I want to support all of you, non-binary, female, male or anything, during all of your journeys. If you identify (or think you may identify) as whatever, you are great. If you cannot yet find the labels or pronouns that will feel just right, you are still a wonderful human being, it's just that our language may be a bit too restricted to verbalise your awesomeness.
If you cannot accept the fact that you're trans or gender non-conforming, I still want to do it.
@@FernOctahedron thank you.
@@FernOctahedron боже, спасибо за такие слова 😭
This is exactly how I feel
How do you feel one year later?
This video helps me so much, I am trans but i didn't feel trapped in the wrong body I just felt i would be happier being a male rather than a female and I would rather have male parts, I dont even completely hate my female parts I just find i would be happier if i had male parts there and I was born a boy. it was really difficult coming to terms with this and im still in a bit of denial and go through body dysphoria but after this video im just gonna try doing what makes me happy.
Do you mean like the “I’d like to be a girl, it’s better for me (or boy)” thoughts?
This, exactly. I feel this all the time, ever since I was born, and thought that I couldn't be trans, but to hear someone else say that... I guess I'm not the only one.
I was really scared to be the only one thinking that and that it would make me a idk "invalid trans" I'm so reassured lots feel the same way \(T-T)/
I like ur picture.
i love your picture! Michael Mell from BMC
One of the things I am trying is using a masculine name on the internet, this is a great video by the way
that one kid I LOVE UR PFP
same im going by cricket online i love it so much
omg is your profile pic danger days that is amazing
Check out Pique Resilience Project
same, on my twitter i like to go by 'skul' (short for skulduggery), and use she/her pronouns
I've always gone through early childhood like a normal girly girl. Pigtails, tutus, pink, the works. But since I've been exposed to the community when I was about 11, I started realising that the bright pink and ponytails was not me. I started dressing a bit more masculine, but not enough to make any real difference in what people saw me as. I ditched clip bras all together when I was 12, and started binding with 2 sports bras. My mom got mad at me whenever she caught me doing it, but I didn't care. I feel like my dad's a lot more accepting than my mom is, but even he still says I never showed signs of being trans when I was younger.
Well, they wouldn't know, because I hid it really well. When I was about 8, I started noticing that I wanted to hang around the boys more than the girls. I wan'ted them to just...Like me, and let me join in on what they did. Of course, they never did, and that's when it kinda sunk in that maybe what I was feeling wasn't normal. So I hid it until I was 12, when I finally told my parents how I felt, and a whole other shitshow started.
My mom started thinking that I was saying I was trans to fit in with the kids in my SAGA group. Which, truth be told, I wasn't. I actually hated most of the kids in the group because they either ignored or insulted me on a weekly basis. So I've had to try and convince my parents that I don't fucking know what I am, and that at this point I'm a potato. There's times when I'm not even trying to pass, and strangers will refer to me as male, and it makes me so happy, but then my siblings/parents/unknowing friends will be like "Lol what? That's a girl!" And I hate it.
Writing this out...I've gotten it. It's official people, I want to be a boy.
Thank you for reading this rant/unwanted life story. I appreciate it
I can relate to your story pretty well, besides the coming out part- I've always liked "girly" things and such but anyone can whether you're boy, girl, in between, or neither. Anyways, I want to be a boy, maybe not get all the surgery or whatever but just live and exist as a dude, sound like dude, be called a dude, etc. I'm doubting I'm transgender because I do experience dysphoria but it's quite low and it's usually only me wanting my bobbles gone lol. There is actually this character from a video game who's a dude, and when I say I want to be him, I mean it haha- I might just be a tomboy or just obsessed with the idea but if anyone sees this I kind of need some advice- :") (Also, I hope by now you're doing well and everything and remember you are valid
i guess i can relate to a point. i was a really "whatever" kid, to be honest. my main interests were things like animals and coloring, but i was naturally exposed to feminine clothes and such. it didn't particularly bother me at such a young age, i pretty much just went "dolls? not that up my alley but i'll play with it if i'm bored enough? toy cars? cool, that works. i don't care what gender my friends are as long as they like me. i thought that was always how i had to be, and didn't grasp the concept i could be anything else, since i was just raised without knowing until i was older. might i add, i knew minimal things about it, but due to the environment I was exposed to, i was lead to believe lgbt people were morally wrong, that girls would always be girls and boys would always be boys. when i heard about stuff and went through the early stages of puberty i kinda went fuck, maybe something isn't right. i initially thought i was bi or lesbian, something of the sort that'd make me feel a bit more masculine, but whoops that didn't really feel like the case. my weird preteen mind went "hmm.. non binary?" but i convinced myself that I was trying to be special and should give it up, because something was clearly wrong with me. i identified with it on and off, always deciding i needed more time. this went on for a while. i actively denied any possibility of me being a guy, looking back it was mostly because i thought i wasn't good enough to be one and i didn't want to be "that trans". i tried dressing girlier in hopes of feeling happier, and while some things i still don't entirely despise, this made me the opposite. i eventually came to the possibility i may not be nb but trans, and likely straight in that regard. that's where i am today. i'm still at the questioning part, but i've made some progress
edit: i didn't mention dysphoria, but i do often experience things relating to this. pretty damn often. it sucks balls.
Scrapo. I hate my “chest” too 🤣.
Okay so uhm, I read all the comments about their life stories and I honestly cried because there were quite a few a relate to. 1. the girly girl- When I was younger I always found the dolls, babies, and dresses so amazing and cool. But then when I was in 2nd grade I wore dresses to school everyday(Btw, I am a girl) A girl asked me "why are you always wearing dresses" I didn't answer because I didn't know how to respond. I don't know if I'm going through a faze but I don't really feel exactly 'right' in my body. I've always had bigger "female parts" and they don't feel correct. My mom always wanted a boy for cars, trucks, dinosaurs, video games. I've always liked more boy-ish clothes and stuff. Today, I finally asked my mom about binding for 'a cosplay' but it was really to see if my body felt right. I've always had better relationships with men(as friends) then girls. The girls were always too focused on boys, or dances, or even social media and looking pretty. Never once in my school life have I been not insecure about my body. 2- My name feels different. I hate it. The name 'Madison' feels way too formal and stuffy.
I don't know. I might just be a tomboy or just in a phase. If you read this thank you!!
@@georgielear2531 It's not completely bad, if you have any problems with breathing or pain take it off. A compression sports bra for runners works the best, but only wear one of those.
Hey. I was born as a female, and I don't feel comfortable as a girl at all. I want to transition to male, but my mom is really homophobic and transphobic. My step brothers boyfriend is trans and he gave me one of his binders, but I have to hide it from my mom at all times. Even when it's on my body. I wear sweatshirts and layer my clothes so she can't tell I'm wearing one. Im really scared though, because when summer comes, I won't be able to do that and she's going to see the binder and send me back to therapy after screaming at me. (She sent me there the first time because she saw I was binding with 2 sports bras) I don't know what to do because nobody knows that I feel this way. And I'm to much of a baby to tell anyone, do I guess I'll just have to get kicked out of the house? I have no idea. Pls help.
Hi space Owl, Do you want to email me? I think we could help each other
NeepThePeep I guess so but I don't know u,,, u could be stalking me or something(hopefully your not) but what's ur email?
NeepThePeep you can also do me on my instagram @mr.spook_of_nj
Space Owl Nah I ain't stalking you lol it'd just be nice to hear what other people who are considering transitioning think lol
NeepThePeep okay so if you want to talk just dm me on my Instagram. (mr.spook_of_nj)
I cry sometimes when talking about this... :/
I know that feel
I do to but it's because I feel like him
Being trans is so hard :( dangit
Same.
dang,sorry dude
I'm questioning. I was born a girl but I'm leaning towards identifying as a boy but I'm too nervous to actually tell someone. I don't know anyone who is transphobic so I have no reason to be scared. Any advice to help make me more comfortable
This is woah almost one year old as a comment sorry but if you haven't told someone yet that's ok you should take your time it's really ok to be nervous and if you've told someone then well done for coming out 🤗✨
I'm not some kind of elder who knows exactly what's good for you, but... no matter what people say, or how much they insist that you're confused, or try to say "you're not trans"... believe in what you believe, and continue identifying yourself with what you like to!
I feel the same way . Like my friend already has a trans friend but I’m just scared that everyone will treat me differently or that they will think I’m just seeking attention .
Be aggressively positive with yourself
It helps me to be nice to myself when it's framed that way
Thank you. I needed that. I’ve lately been kind of obsessed with having to find out wether I’m trans or not. And honestly, I don’t know. There are times when I think “yes, definitely, that’s me!” , And others when I’m doubting everything. Sometimes I don’t know if my feelings are “real”.
I’ve decided I’d jus try stuff out. I’m probably gonna cut my hair short, and see how I feel. I’m just really afraid of what people might think of me. That I only want attention. That I’m trying to be someone I’m not. Honestly, i don’t even know what I’m so scared of, it doesn’t really make sense actually...
Have you figured it out by now?
We need the update
damn this is currently me ;; I feel so happy when people treat me as male but is it something I’ve made up because I hate myself and I want to be a different person? am I really different from other women? do I want attention? and- eek-
@@azutheviper6443 exactly the same here, i feel like maybe my brain is making excuses for my depression and why i hate myself so much... i think I'm gonna wait, I'm so lost at the moment...
@@coctodon1751 oh same, really not sure if it's my depression, or how i would feel right now without all that covid shit, because I have way too much time to overthink, soo have you figured something out for you?
My dad just thinks it’s a “phase” and that I’m being influenced by people on the internet. He keeps telling me all of the bad stuff that could happen, like if I ever get the surgery and not feel right. Or that there’s no point not in getting top surgery if I’m not getting bottom surgery, witch is not true at all. I’m only 12, I’m not getting surgery now. I’m not even 100% sure about it yet .I keep telling him to stop talking about surgeries but every time the topic of me wanting to be a boy comes up, he talks about all of the bad stuff. I just want to buy clothes from the boys section, talk to my guy friends in the boys washroom, like they do. I’m excluded from their chats in there. I want a chest binder. All that fun stuff. I wish I could but I can’t. The only one of those options I can do it get boys clothing. Witch rarely happens. I have to drag my parents over to the boys section only to get one t-shirt. There was only one time I went into the boys washroom before. That was when me and my friends stayed at school for study hall. Thats pretty much where you stay for an extra hour to study with friends. Both me and one of my guy friends had to use the washroom so we both went. He asked if I wanted to use the boys washroom like him, since I’ve been telling him about wanting to be a boy. When I went to the washroom I just felt so happy. I couldn’t stop smiling after that. I felt like myself. It’s funny how small things like using the washroom can make a person feel amazing. What I’m trying to say is, you do you boo. Do what makes you feel happy. Dress in whatever clothing you want, as long as it is appropriate of course. Be whatever you want to be. Hang out with whoever you want to hang out with. Just be yourself. It may be hard, I know how it feels. After all, I’m still going through it. But we can all do it together. Don’t let anyone tell you who you are. You’re the only one that really knows you.
Michael Andrews Same!
I am 12 too and I want to be a boy so bad!
Michael Andrews I'm also 12 I'm about to be 13 but I can relate to you in so many ways
Just do what feels right and like yourself
It's been 2 years but I hope shit got better for you
Hi, I'm a trans male, born female. Ever since I was really young I wanted to be a boy. I dressed like a boy and I played with boys. I sobbed whenever my mom tried to get me to wear a dress. When I was in eighth grade I decided to come out. I cut my hair super short, shaved in that popular pixie cut like style and I wrote a speech. Then I chickened out because of my dads family. They are pretty homophobic and awful. I started wearing skirts because my mom said that if I didn't people would think I was a boy and I didn't want that. I did want that. I started chest binding a few months after that. All DIY, Mulan type. I look back now and realize how dangerous that was but I didn't care. First I came out to me friends then to my family a few years later. They were extremely supportive. Many people doubted me because I am a gay trans male but I'm happy with my choice and I feel much happier now.
Oli Ver i used ro be super girly but now i dont even want to think about wearing a dress...thats it
Oli Ver Is there any way I could talk to you? I was born female as well, but of course I’m having some doubts as to whether or not this is really how I identify. I myself feel as though I’m a gay trans male but have no way to come out and just talking to someone about this who may understand would just be incredibly helpful.
When I was like 5 years my 2 best friends were boys lol
And I had just a friend who is a GIRL...
I remember when I puched someone in his nose and broke it...(I was born with the instinct)
I admit that when I was a little, up to 8 years old I liked My little pony😂, but also Pokemon (-because of fights)
And I liked a lot video games.
I have done girl stuff when I was a little one, but now I do boy stuff a lot since 10.(I am 12.5 years old)
And my worst experience is...(-a little bit funny)
I was with a girl and she said: (note-her name is Daria)
Daria: Hey do you want to do a makeup challenge?
Me: Uhhhhh... yea...(NO)
Daria: Awesome!
Let's begin!
Me: "It will be fun" yay(* sarcasm *)
Daria: It's my turn to do a makeup up for you!
* A few minutes later *
Daria: Done!
Look in the mirror!
Me: O.O
Kill me!
Wtf?!
That's my worst experience😂😂😂
Sophus Strange Of course! I agree that’s it’s not a decision, I am trans (FTM) myself, and if I could choose, I would choose not be trans. It’s very difficult and heart wrenching. I wish you the best of luck ❤️
being transgender is hard
True dat
yeah it’s a real rollercoaster
yeah
Haha can't relate.
Animeteor good for u lol?
Hey! One of my best friends is FTM. He isn't old enough to go through the transformation. His family is very, very homophobic. He cannot come out because they will hate him, and they would even send him to a therapy-thing.. trying to change his mind. Earlier tonight, his parents and family (since they do not know about him being trans) were saying he needs to be a ‘better girl’ and get a boyfriend and to act more lady-like and that he is disgusting and acts like a boy. He gets so depressed and suicidal from his family, and I don't know how to help him. I hate seeing him hurt... and I don't know what to do for him... any advice?
Hey, I'm really sorry he's in this situation with his family. I'm not sure what to suggest for you to do, other than continue to support him. That support will be invaluable. Depending on how open he is, talk to him about things and remind him that things will not always be this hard, they will get better. Maybe encourage him to talk to others who will be accepting and can offer him advice. I hope this could help a little and that things get better for him soon!
+Jammidodger Thank you! 😂
😁* woops..
my parents dont exept my brother/sister and I am also very young so I don't think they will exept me
+Wolfie Girl12 yes, he's okay.. he just gets really in his feels and I'm not sure how to help him.
I used to be that one kid who was basically who the stereotype on what little girls was based on. Due to that, my recent struggles with gender have been difficult since I've heard that a good amount of the transmasc community was more drawn to things labeled as boy things while I was happy to be girly even if now it makes me kinda dysphoric. Glad I found this video even if it's a bit older.
Yeah, me too
Ikr
This is exactly what I needed to hear. I've been questioning for almost 3 or so years, and everyday I just imagine how happy I would be male.
I keep going back and forth, and I'll probably go back again, but I think I might truly be trans. So for the first time I've ever done this:
Hi, I'm Roman (M) and I'm transgender. Nice to meet you!
Hey Roman 🤙
2 years later, hows life Roman?
@@Fostero7 Being "trans" is a lie from masons, search about them, be not deceived by them.
none are "trans", all are victims of masonry depopulation agenda.
Hi. First, I just wanted to say that all of the stories in the comment section have really helped me, and I decided might as well contribute my story/position.
So, I was born as a female, but I don't want to be a girl. I want to be a boy. I first started thinking, "Hey, maybe I'm transgender," about 3 months ago. Since then I have come out to my close friends, and they accept me. But even though I have come out to some people, I'm still not 100% sure I'm trans at times. It's confusing. Like at some points I am very masculine... actually I am pretty much always masculine.
When I was younger I didn't really think about whether I was a boy or a girl. Actually, a few times when I was a kid I thought about, "What if I was a boy?" I tended to play with more masculine toys, (toy cars, and... stuff; I can't remember much). I was forced to wear girls clothing, which I never exactly liked, but I wore it because I didn't think I had a choice in whether I wore girls or boys clothing. More recently I have started to wear clothes that makes me look more masculine. Mostly just border shorts/boys swimming trunks, with a gender-neutral t-shirt in more "masculine colours", (red, blue, black... idk really) I also have short hair. I got short hair *before* I even knew what transgender was. All that I knew was that I wanted short hair, a boys haircut even.
I've always been considered a Tomboy. I had a guy friend in elementary school, but we later stopped talking cause he had other friends that he'd rather hang out with. In 7th grade (I'm in 7th grade), I finally got into a friend group. My friend group is all-girls (4 people total, including me) but they are very much like me. I get along with them very well.
Now, the dreaded topic of my body, and my dysphoria. I have never liked the idea of me being feminine or having a feminine body in any way, (wearing dresses/skirts, wearing makeup, having boobs, having prominent hips, ect.). I've never liked my soft, round face/body and I wish that it'd become rougher. Luckily, because of my genes, I can grow a moustache, without going on T, but it's a bit strange when the people that don't know that I'm trans make a comment like, "You know you have a bit of a moustache, right?" then I respond with, "I know." Yeah... Anyway, my friends are now all calling me by my preferred name and pronouns (Maxx and him/he/his), and I like it so much more than [Deadname] and she/her pronouns. I wear a binder every time I go outside. I was able to convince my grandma to get me a binder by telling her it was just a type of sports bra.
AND, good luck to anyone else reading through this comment section. Hope my story or someone else's story helps you figure out whatever you are going through.
:]
Check out Pique Resilience Project
It happens the same to me. Until a year ago I didn't think about if I was a boy or a girl but one day I saw myself on a photo and I thought "Hey... Right, I'm a girl, I look like a girl in that photo." and I felt strange.
I'm 18 and just finding out I'm trans and even though my mom is very blatantly not transphobic I'm afraid to open up because it'll just cause stress and anxiety so I'm just waiting to start transitioning till I leave for college 😔
That is so relatable for me. I‘m 18 and I started thinking that I‘m trans about half a year ago. But it started, when I heard about the term non-binary and started identifiying with it. I had never thought that I could be trans. But now I just think that I would be happier as a boy
I'm 14, i dont know if my mom is transphobic or not but she made a comment about me acting like a boy once so im scared to tell her, i dont if i am yet but i feel i would be happier as a boy than a girl
Wow, these comments have really helped me. I thought I was wrong, I feel like I'd prefer to be male but it was something I had to love 100%, and that I couldn't feel feminine at all. Writing that down seems ridiculous now. After watching some of Jamie's videos and reading these comments, I think I might be ready to talk to some of my close friends about this. Thank you all for sharing your stories and feelings
This comment is years old but yes! I'm terrified of being wrong and regrets and changing, but it's a constant on my mind since representation of trans men like Gottmik has become available.
@@aidenBpositive I socially transitioned shortly after I made this comment. 4 years later, I've been on hormones for 1.5 years, had top surgery 3 months ago, and I'm more comfortable as me than I ever have been. I still don't feel 100% male, and I've embraced some of my femininity (still working on that, dysphoria). I love that there's trans men like Gottmik, Elliot Page, and our Jamie here to help young people figure themselves out, and I only hope there will be more rise to fame in the near future!
After I made this comment, I told my mum that I think I'm trans, and we spent a day together where she called me by my chosen name and pronouns, and the gender euphoria was eye-opening. If you have someone you can talk to and maybe try out a new name or pronouns, I highly recommend it. It can be nice to create a safe-space where you can explore your identity with a friend or family member. Good luck!
I really think I'm trans but my mom always talks about how she's so happy about having a daughter and how she'd be sad if she only had boys and it's just so hard for me to understand myself and how I'm feeling when she's like this. I have nobody to tell about it either
Same here. Just know that only you can determine your gender, dont let what your mom says get to you too much. I'm here if you want to talk :)
I accidentally came out to my parents too early and theyre transphobic I mean like I told them but they said "you're a girl you just dont like girly things" I c ant tell if theyre im denial or just think Im stupid but I know for a fact that Im trans and then I came out to my friends and they are way more accepting. But how do I explain to my parents that im not joking
ArchergirlGaming Me too. I came out to my mom 3 years ago and she got really angry. She forgot after a while and I never brought it up again though I'm still yearning for her to accept and help me.
Maybe u could educate them on transgender ect?? Lile force them to learn. And if they still dont like accept you i fuess u could show them how much that affects you emotionally wise idk
I'm 30 and I grew up when it was very taboo to be LGBT at all in the US. My parents also said it was a phase. So I just didn't talk to them about it anymore, and just went and lived my life, and eventually they saw me doing this stuff and realized it was the real deal. I went to the prom with a female (I was a female), I was the only person in my school doing that, and I didn't make a thing about it to anyone, just acted like it was normal. Same with everything. The thing is, most people need YOU to set the social cues for THEM. If you act like it's normal, they'll feel the need to conform to that. If you act like you need to defend it and convince them, they'll feel like it's fake.
dude this same thing happened to me yesterday. i'm still trying to figure out myself and i'm trying to educate my mom more.
Okay so uhm, I read all the comments about their life stories and I honestly cried because there were quite a few a relate to. 1. the girly girl- When I was younger I always found the dolls, babies, and dresses so amazing and cool. But then when I was in 2nd grade I wore dresses to school everyday(Btw, I am a girl) A girl asked me "why are you always wearing dresses" I didn't answer because I didn't know how to respond. I don't know if I'm going through a faze but I don't really feel exactly 'right' in my body. I've always had bigger "female parts" and they don't feel correct. My mom always wanted a boy for cars, trucks, dinosaurs, video games. I've always liked more boy-ish clothes and stuff. Today, I finally asked my mom about binding for 'a cosplay' but it was really to see if my body felt right. I've always had better relationships with men(as friends) then girls. The girls were always too focused on boys, or dances, or even social media and looking pretty. Never once in my school life have I been not insecure about my body. 2- My name feels different. I hate it. The name 'Madison' feels way too formal and stuffy.
I don't know. I might just be a tomboy or just in a phase. If you read this thank you!!
Thats what im thinking too, when i was younger i was the more girly sister while my sister acted like a tomboy, but now i dont feel right in my own body, but at the same time i like wearing girl clothes, but i dont like my female body parts, i want to tell my mom but im scared
Hi Jamie, I recently stumbled upon your youtube account. For school we have to search news articles and make a report about it. Yes there's a news article about you and your transition here in the Netherlands! I might've picked your story because my teacher told me to stop messing about and search for real work and this is me protesting against him. But I've also picked your story because I'm quite interested by it.
I've always called myself a boy-girl. Not because I'm transgender but because I'm a girl who never played with dolls but rather played with lego or cars. You'll also never see me wearing make-up and I'll NEVER wear a dress... bbrrr only the thought of that. But back to the point. Jamie, you got me - a 15 year old dutch girl - interested in your story, I'm making a school project about you. I hope you don't mind. You're awesome, keep up the good work! :) (also my younger brother's name is Jamie so your name is great)
For some reason, this video made me so happy-
I’ve had a childhood where girls like pink, wear dresses, and all that good stuff. When I was about 7 or 8, I started hanging out with the boys in our class more, and that made me think, does this make me a boy? At the time, I didn’t know what the term transgender was, my mother only told me there was gay and straight. Male and female. I stumbled across the community when I was about 10, and that’s where I found so many different sexualities, genders, and so on. And when I learned about being trans, that’s when I thought, could I be trans? A boy? After that, I started to get drawn to clothing that a bit more masculine, yet still feminine at the same time. I’ve always dreamt of being a boy, yet I had an overwhelming fear about coming out to my family, fearing that they’ll say “oh it’s just a phase”, or “what’ll happen to my little girl”. Yet I’ve told most of my friends, to address me as Rohannie, and to use he/him or they/them pronouns, along with some teachers as well. For right now at least, I’m still wondering if I want to be genderqueer or trans, yet I know that I won’t be anyone’s “daughter”.
I just hate that as minor, I can't do anything about how I feel. It's like, I'm out to my classmates, yet everyone makes a joke about it, which I get, I can't expect them to be fine with it, and completely accept it, but it still hurts. I tried to bind my chest, tho I try to let my body get some rest. I think that it's weird how I think I figured it out, yet I still feel bad in my body. And the worst part is that I can't tell my family about it, cuz when I mentioned it to my mom how I hate my chest, she didn't even try to understand what I meant, she simply said that I should just get used to it. And I constantly hear my brother talk about how he hates trans people, and that he would b3at me up if I'd ever become trans. So it's hard.
It just feels like no one is going to take me seriously
I have recently been trying to figure out my gender identity and sexuality but I wasn’t sure at first about who I was, I was was born a girl but I’m not sure if I want to be one. Near the start of the year, I realised that I felt like I was part of the LGBTQ+ community. I assumed that I was bi at first as I knew that I was attracted to boys and since I felt different I thought that would be attracted to girls too. After a few weeks of thinking I found out that no, I didn’t feel attracted to girls. This stage was hard for me because I just felt really confused about it all, I knew that I was gay but I wasn’t attracted to girls. I did some research about the different sexualities but nothing seemed to fit me. I ended up finding your page and soon I was watching a lot of your videos and then it started to make a bit more sense. I thought about what I knew about me and tried to put it all together: I never liked playing with dolls or doing makeup and wearing dresses, I felt like I was gay but only attracted to boys not girls, I always just thought of myself as a tomboy and that I wasn’t a girly girl like everyone else. It only made sense that I was trans FTM. However I don’t feel like I wasn’t supposed to be a girl so I thought that I might be non-binary but it just didn’t feel right I know that everyone would be supportive as my friends are omni and pan and my mum watches a tv show about someone who is FTM and she uses correct pronouns for him I’m still figuring everything out but watching your videos has really helped me discover how I feel
UA-cam really wouldn't understand me if they profiled me based on the video's I'm watching.
*Thank you SO SO much for this*
It's been one and a half years since i've been thinking about being trans and even though I'm sure about being trans, I'm incredibly dysphoric because of my parents. This has helped me so much and it made me smile. When I first though about being trans, it was when I found out my friend was trans. After breaking up with my boyfriend last year [when I was still labled as a female], I started realizing I felt like I wasn't myself. When I started feeling like this, I asked my friends to call me by they/them and he/him pronouns and after a few weeks I felt less confused about myself and being called a male felt really comfortable. Then one day, I had a whole meltdown in my bathroom and that's when everything clicked. When I looked at my face and down to my body, nothing felt right. The dresses, the long hair, the pronouns, nothing felt comfortable. But until now, my parents are getting just suspicous and calling it a phase or just being tomboy, without even talking to me about it properly. But this week, i've been feeling extremely depressed and dysphoric so I came to YT for help and this popped up. I really appreciate your words, thank you.
I tried being girly, I always go back to being and looking more masculine though. All I hear from my family and everyone is "it's a phase". I don't know.. I don't think it is but I'm 16 is it too late
Hey, I know it‘s been some time since your comment. I just wanted to say, that it‘s never „too late“ to find yourself. There are many people who found themselves (as trans) when they were around 40, 50 or even older. So, you see, sometimes it takes time or you never even think about finding yourself.
I hope you understand what I‘m trying to say. English is not my first language 😅
Its not too late, I am 21 and I believe i am a guy. So, take your time. 16 is young enough to think but not old enough to know.
Im here at 1am in the morning, I can’t sleep because my identity has been driving me crazy, I don’t know who I am at the moment and it honestly sucks. I currently identify as non binary, and have done for months. But now I think I might ftm trans.
same here, you'll find out eventually dw, im here if you need to talk/vent :)
Jammi, you are a joy and love transmitter! You just effuse joy and peace and love...........that is a tremendous and wonderful gift! Thank you so much, Jammi...............Ray
So... I don’t know if I am transgender or not. I question me being a female sometimes, but I just don’t know if I’d regret the descicion or not. I’m thinking just to tell my mom, I’m not sure yet...
Well? Update?
I’m always so confused about everything. Like I completely hate my body because I see myself as fat even though I’m not really overweight. I also hate looking at mirrors because it feels weird. Every time I go shopping with my mom I always fantasize about being able to shop in the men’s section. I don’t feel comfortable in my gender but, I don’t know if I’m trans. I know there’s something wrong with me. I change my social media to a male name that I think fits me (as you can see). I always feel happy whenever I say something like “hello I’m conner” in my head and I said “hello I’m izzy” just felt completely different and uncomfortable. I really enjoy it when people accidentally call me by he/him pro nouns.i hate every time I’m addressed as Isabella/izzy at school because it gives me and uncomfortable feeling. I hate showers and I use men’s soap, but I’m scared someone will smell it. I often fantasize about people calling me conner and me coming of as male. I just get this fear of rejection. One time I made a binder and I pinned my hair to look male and I put my brothers clothes on and it scared me how right it felt. I’m just always confused and I don’t know what to do anymore
I can really feel you. I get the same feeling everytime looking at a mirror. Im not fat but because of my female parts (you know breast and FUCKING THIGHS) it makes me super uncomfortable and gives me a feeling of being fat or overweight. I don't know what to do or if i was really trans cuz when i think about transitioning thing it really scares me and think i don't want to do it BUT at the same time i always wish i had a male body it's much more comfortable and cooler and i think it can even make me confident since im not confident AT ALL in my own skin...
Check out Pique Resilience Project
@@saragloss350 SAAAAAMEEEEEEEEEEEE omg
as someone who's egg just cracked, so to speak, in their mid 20s.... I just couldn't ignore it anymore. listening to you and other people talk is super soothing as my mind goes 100 miles an hour from fear to happiness and everything inbetween... thank you for all your content. it'll take me a lot of time to unpack all of this after being in denial for something so obvious all these years.
This video that made me realise that I was trans. that was 8 years ago. I have now been on T for three months, and it is awesome. I just wanted to say thank you for being a positive and informative trans outlet, that have helped me through the wait time. And I hope you keep being the amazing and awesome person and get everything that want in life. - a fellow trans man
I remeber when I was in like, pre-k, I asked my mom and my friend, "How do you become a boy?" I've liked girls for as long as I can remember, and I thought I was gay. I've been bullied before, but over the summer before fifth grade, I realized that there was a possibility i am trans. I went to get a haircut once, and when the women asked wat kind of haircut syle i wanted, I said "A boy cut". I am too scared to tell me parents and grandparents, although I know that they would accept me, becuase I have always been my grandpa's little girl, and my mom likes to play with my long hair. About a week ago, I took a shower, and put my hair into a ponytail to hide it behind my neck, and I played with my hair to make it look more masculine. I sometimes pull on my shoulders to try to make them broader.
Check out Pique Resilience Project
I remember asking my mom, out of the blue, if i was supposed to be a boy and she said no and why, i think its because i said i felt like I was supposed to be a guy. I still believe that.
I’m a closeted transgender FTM Christian - yes, transgender & Christian - & for a long while, I was questioning whether or not I really *was* trans considering that other super conservative Christians {my immediate family, for example} would think that I’ve completely lost my faith, which, I actually haven’t. To be honest, I feel that my faith has actually grown stronger since I’ve learned I’m trans, all due to the fact that Jesus loves me for who I am & nothing could ever make Him stop loving me.
Whether or not you too are transmasc/transfem & Christian, just remember that there is _always_ going to be someone out there who truly does care for you. 🫶
While I am not trans I have a tremendous amount of respect for you in making this video Jamie. Thanks for sharing your experiences as there are so many who need and should hear stories similar to them in order to discover and be comfortable in whichever sexual orientation they identify with.
Can't wait to see the Channel 4 documentary, thanks for sharing your story :)
Great advice,( love all your videos Jaimie!)... but I will just add a safety tip, DON'T LEAVE ANYTHING WRITTEN if you think someone that you live with may snoop around and find it later! I did that accidentally a few years ago and trust me when I say that is not a pleasant way to come out😂😟😨🤯
I know this is a old video but I'm so glad I found it I have been questioning and I really don't feel comfortable being a female I've tried pushing myself to be feminine which really isn't something that someone should do but I've tried and it won't work so I tried using different pronouns like They/Them which still doesn't feel right so I put myself in a imaginary situation like imagining if I were trans and it felt amazing I loved imagining people seeing me as a male I'm still not completely sure but this really helped me thank you so much
Thank you so so so much! I have to send this to my friend because she just came out to me, and she is really confused about everything, and so am i
This was extremely comforting. Being used to people listing very specific things I NEED to be
Thank you for this video and all the comments here are so helpful. Right now I really don't know my gender and I'm too afraid to ask. I was born female and as a kid I did really like dresses and sometimes also barbies. However I did dream of magically transforming into a boy or being reborn as a boy or something like that. Right now I'm 14 (almost 15) and I don't know. I don't really experience body dysphoria (that happened a grand total of 2 times) and overall I'm comfortable in my body, sometimes I do feel I would be happier if I had a male body and it's so confusing. Society also sucks, I like playing video games and that kind of stuff, but there's always boys teasing me about how childish the games i play are and that girls aren't good gamers. It really makes me question my gender. Right now I am experimenting with pronouns online and sometimes when I'm alone I also dress like a boy (2 sportsbras as a binder, hair tucked into a hat, baggy shirts and pants and sometimes socks as a packer) It does make me feel happy, but also a little weird. sorry if this story didn't make any sense, I just needed to get it off my chest.
George Takei shared a post about you - the video of your transition!
So I was born a female and idk what gender I am, I prefer being more masculine, I think I might be a trans boy but at the same time I think I might be gender fluid. Sometimes I think to myself “what if I’m just a girl and I’m just confused” but I don’t feel comfortable being a girl. (I don’t mind people saying she/her cause I’m used to it but I prefer he/him) I also read online someone who used to relate to me but then that feeling kinda faded away when they grew up. So I don’t know if I’m trans or just a confused girl
You just described me 👁👄👁
I'm scared as to how accurate this is to me-
Hi update, I realized I was just confused so to anyone reading this just wait a couple months and if u still have that feeling u may be trans
@@blobfish8536 cool! Still very valid!
Omg, I acctually almost started crying when I looked at you for the first time cuz you are like the man I want to be like.
I know in my current situation, coming out before I'm an adult would most likely be a big mistake, considering family issues. However, I do hate waiting for the right timing. If you feel like you know you're trans, but your family won't accept it at the time, just try to take small steps that are possible towards your goal.
For example:
-I shaved my head (a short haircut helps)
-masculine/gender neutral clothing
- I'm trying to grow out all my body hair, even my face/legs.
It isn't all about top/bottom surgery, or testosterone. As long as you believe one day you'll reach your ideal, any progress helps.
such underrated things. really appreciate it
I’m trans ftm at least I think but I’m 12 so I found this very helpful
ok i know im about 5 years late, but i really just need to put this out somewhere, so here it goes.
i think im trans. only up until recently did i realize this, but im not sure if im right or not. all my life i’ve been hyper feminine. skirts, hair down to my hooha, all female friends, etc. and even for most of this year, i was (for some reason) extra, *extra* feminine as i started a new school this year. there was barely a day that went by i want wearing a fashionable flowy skirt or a cute dress, and if it wasn’t those, it was something else that i felt made me look more like the girls i saw around me. and then, in the middle of the year, something in me just… burst. i’d started wearing beanies more, as it made me appear to have short hair. i started wearing baggier clothes to disguise my chest, whereas a month before i would’ve been trying to flaunt it as best i could without breaking dress code. i went thrifting a lot, and did a huge wardrobe purge of all the things that made me feel too girly and tried to replace them as best as possible when shopping. my style changed dramatically, and my parents even agreed to let me cut my hair *way* shorter, which i’m very happy about. ass length hair begone! ive been experimenting with pronouns, and as of late, im beginning to favor he/him more and more. she/her makes me uncomfortable at best, and i flinch every time i introduce myself to someone with my deadname. they/them is okay, but it just doesn’t feel like me, you know? i recently asked some of my closer friends to call me a new name that sounds like nickname of my deadname, but it feels too… close. i’ve been thinking about achilles but im not sure if that’s the right one, or if there’s one i like more that i just haven’t found yet, and i don’t wanna change my name too much. i just wish it were simpler. help meeee
I understand where you're coming from. I used to be very feminine and never even doubted my gender despite knowing about trans people and supporting them. But then, partially because of Covid, I had more time to reflect on myself and became very aware of how I presented to other people. I used to dress myself up without seeing myself there, but now I try to cater to what I want to look like. Just be comfortable and don't put pressure or limits on yourself. Other ppl are already trying to limit you. Don't feel guilty, no matter the outcome. I'm a bit of a hypocrite, but I wish you the best!
I’ve been questioning since I was 8 and I’m 22 and I’m so freaking stressed because I want to be young as a guy and not have to wait a million years to look the way I want to
Uggghhhh I need to find a chat group for this
Ive been thinking about this for years and hiding it from myself and I have definitely not told anybody but it's been on my mind a lot more recently keeping me up at night. I decided to start trying things this week to see how I feel about them because I wrote that off as super weird to myself when I was about 12.
I'm going to a gender therapist in 1 month! :D I'm questioning my gender, but I'm sure I'm trans.
Do you have any updates? :)
@@not_Tamb0 yeah, they've asked me questions about how I feel about my body. I felt comfortable answering all of them :) then we talked about if I can get top surgery without nipples when I'm 18, and other stuff. They've told me about some lgbt websites (please give more :D) and now we're talking about my gender :) they're not sure if I'm trans yet, (because of my autism.) but they said they'll find out sometime.
@@Luminous_leaf3 omg that‘s so freaking awesome. I‘m so so so so happy for you ❤️❤️❤️ I might aswell talk to a therapist about that.
Tha k you for this video. I’ve been searching for anyone to talk to. Feeling so lonely
I watched this video around 3 years ago almost tearing up "that cant be me" and now im fully out to everyone and actually pass im only 14 so i am still pre everything the only part that sucks is that i have to be stealth rn i recently moved to ky and no one from my school knows but its for my safety but i greatly appreciate this video and others it has helped me so much through my transition
About six months ago, I came out as bi. Right before soccer practice. When I got back and took a shower, my dad asked me to talk to him by the garden. I was so sure they would accept me, because a few days before they said they would love me no matter what. I was wrong..so, so, so absolutely wrong. He said it was to stand, then he said it was to fit in. He even said it was because of my anxiety.
Now I know I’m transgender ftm Pansexual. This is the worst thing to ever happen to me. I wish I was different. I wish I was a straight cisgender female like my family always wanted me to be. But I have to be that kind of “daughter”. I had to be like this, the one that nobody wishes for. I’m a disappointment, nobody in my family would love me if they found out their sweet, girly (grand)daughter/niece that they would always dress up femininely was a boy. They buy me tight shirts and makeup. They call me names like “sissy” and “babygirl” and I’m tired of it. I want things to change, but they never will. I’m tired of being like this. I wish they would’ve just disowned me the day I said “well I’m Bisexual”
I’m tired of living, but living is just so damn wonderful.
I’ve wanted to cut, but my body screamed no. I can’t do that to myself. I just couldn’t bring myself to ever do that to my body.
First off, I am so glad that you are resisting the urge to self harm and that you know life is wonderful. Please stay safe and stay strong. I promise you that there are a million other ways to cope that are so much better for you.
As for the homophobia in your family, I know how difficult that is. I know that things would be easier if you were cisgender and heterosexual, but this is who you are, and that is beautiful and amazing. You have to learn to see that. If there is one thing that you can always change, it is your perspective. If you change the way you see yourself and you accept and love yourself, you will feel so much better about this.
Lastly, never lose hope. It could take a while, but your family members could change their minds about all of this. The most common cause of homophobia (or anything similar to it) is a lack of understanding. If your family learns more about this, they may look at it differently and accept you. If they don't, hang in there. There are so many other people out there who will love and accept you as you are who can become your chosen family.
I’m both happy and sad. I asked my dad for a binder and he said no. He supports me, he just thinks that binders look to tight and he doesn’t want me to suffocate in one so he’s going to buy me more sports bras. (I came out to my fam as trans in 2020 btw, they support me. They just want me to wait until I’m an adult to decide if I’m sure about taking the changes)
Edit: I’m ftm
I have been going through a lot with this and this video did help me to understand thank you. 😊
This is the best "advice" sort of video I’ve watched on this,, It really helped
i have those: i don’t hate my body, but i’d rather be a boy thought. these thoughts have been bothering me for a while. i just don’t know if i am confusing myself, convincing myself i’m something i’m not, or if i actually am. plus, my parents are like: “that’s a boy thing, that’s a girl
thing” and they don’t do it on purpose, but i can’t even express myself
Around the age of 15-16 I decided that I think I am transgender male and uses he/him pronouns. Then when I graduated high school I came out to my parents. They took it as joke at first then I was left for college. I was able to come out on campus and I liked how they refer me with male pronouns and being able to be me. However at the same time I was terrified if my parents found out. Then the double life in college failed after I attempted suicide. I took a break from college. Currently I still think I am transgender male but I am using two sets of pronouns he/him and they/them. My parents are still not accepting me and I started to question myself if I am really trans or am I faking. Have I tricked myself into this of wanting to become a boy.
well take progressive steps and see if it feels right
You're videos are super helpful to me. I haven't changed my account name on here because I can't do it yet because I have a lot of stuff backed up on this account. But my name is Rain, thank you so much for making these videos Jamie!
Jamie has rather expressive eyebrows
I've watching your content for a while now and didn't know about this video. Thanks, it was really helpful
this really helped, i guess i thought i needed to label myself right away. thank you
For me I struggle with that physically I desperately wish I was male, but socially I am hesitant. I like my social relationship as a girl with other girls, I’m scared of presenting as a man, I’m scared of using a men’s room. I don’t know where I fall with this and it’s scary.
I really need help.
Through out my whole life I had been balancing between feminity and masculinity. When I look at my female body I feel beautiful but also weird and when I imagine myself in a male body I feel excited but also weird..? The thing is that I don't have many signs from the past to show if I'm truly a boy or girl and I really need help. Also I am SO SO happy that you want to help me by saying I'm "gender fluid", "bigender", "demigender", but... (please don't start typing really fast in caps) I don't believe in more than 2 genders. PLEASE DON'T GET MAD AT ME. I respect your pronouns even if it's something really freaking ridiculous like "ziximem/ziximom/ziximam" (I know that doesn't actually exist but you know what I mean, right?). So please if somebody can help, please please do.
(also here are some things that might help you help me):
1. I love short hair. Every single year of my life I always cut my hair in Summer but now I happily have a pixie cut so I have short hair all year long.
2. I always had a masculine-feminine style. Basically, I wear whatever makes me feel comfortable and cool.
3. I like make up.
4. I shave my armpits in the Summer/when I go swimming.
5. I like to shave my legs when I'm bored (also I like the smooth feeling afterwards)
6. I like when I have bruises and little scars from falling or climbing because it makes me feel stronger (I don't self-harm on purpose I just like it when there are memories on my skin from climbing a big tree or helping a friend when somebody tried to hurt them).
7. I love men products.
8. I like sports even though I'm terribly bad at them.
9. I hate having long and painted nails.
10. I used to feel insecure about my hairy legs and arms until one day I became in love with them because they made me feel "cool" (or what I call now, masculine).
11. I'm mad at myself when I'm "not masculine enough".
12. I like my soft feminine face features.
13. Dresses and skirts always made me feel 'uneasy and weird' and the more older I get the more they make me feel that way.
14. I started crying when I realised that my boobs got bigger (BTW I'm 13 so I'm still in the middle of puberty).
So, I guess that's all. I'd really appreciate if somebody can help, thanks ^^♡
You might want to concentrate on how you feel in regards to your body, since gender expression can be confusing and does not necessarily dictate one's gender.
Maybe this isn't very helpful but I'd just like to say that nonbinary is an actual thing. You see, what makes someone trans is how their brain is wired to match a certain body type and when your brain tells you that you should be physically a certain gender but your body doesn't match, it typically causes dysphoria. Human brains are very complicated, and it is certainly possible for people to be born as physically both sexes. I don't believe there are more than 2 actual genders, rather there are two but you can be a combination of both or a lack of either. Of course I'm no expert, this is really just my opinion formed from the information I've gathered, but there are far too many people who identify as nonbinary to just brush them off as confused or special snowflakes. Perhaps it's a combination of psychological and physiological factors that creates a nonbinary identity?
With that being said, wanting to be masculine doesn't exactly make you trans. Maybe you're just a tomboy? Or maybe you're trans, but only you can really determine that because you're the only one who knows how you feel. If it helps, I'm kind of in the same situation. I want to be androgynous or sort of boyish but I also kind of admire feminity. I think one thing you could do is sort of try being more male/androgynous, just sort of try out things until you find out what fits, maybe ask your friends to refer to you with male pronouns for a while if you can? Unfortunately I can't do all that myself, but I feel like it could probably help :P Good luck!
i'm 13 and this is exacrly how i feel (i can get a panic attack if i have to wear female clothing)
HOLY SHIT SAME. IVE BEEN SO CONFUSED. IVE NEVER HAD SOMEONE RELATE THIS MUCH TO ME DAMN.
Charmined same fucking same😥
I'm a huge gamer and always kinda hid myself in my games so I made a little diary in one of mine and when I had any thoughts I didn't know I put them down. Every week or so I'd go through everything and read my thoughts again. It helped a lot. I don't exactly feel trapped in the wrong body but instead I always feel like I expect something else on my body and when I talk I expect a different voice. This along with looking back at my thoughts and how I felt when I was younger made it clear that I was trans. I knew by 8 easily. Possibly 6 even. I regret not coming out because I'm sure my dad (at the time, I was adopted but not fully adopted and my parents who raised me were family as they were my biological father's parents but now they passed on and I live with my mom and grandma, thats the short version) knew something because he talked to me about gender affirming surgery and they both were LGBTQ friendly. Big thing was I never knew about trans so I had no idea what I was feeling. I didn't know it wasn't "normal" and didn't know others felt similarly. Now about a year or 2 ago (2018-2020 I think) I finally uncovered it all and understood. I feel better when in the right clothes and feel better being called my name rather than deadnamed. The more I accept it the stronger it feels and the worse it feels but at the same time I feel it'll feel right someday if I keep going. I'm gonna feel like I'm me and be less depressed. Your videos help me understand and bring a little laughter and joy in my life. Don't let anyone tell you any different! You are you and you can be and feel like the person you are! Stay strong!
Hey so I reached out to Childline last night, and I know a lot of you might not live in the UK to access it, so I'll give you a run-down on what I got told (cutting out my personal info though):
It sounds like you have thought about this a lot, but you have a lot of fear around coming out or later feeling that you are not trans-male. Your identity is your business. No one else's. You can choose to be who you want to be, who you are comfortable being and you can display this identity in any way that feels right for you. Gender and sexuality can be very fluid, and it can also change over time. Sometimes people know who they are from a very young age, and it sounds like you have come across that in some of your research. Other times it is later in life that people find themselves and become comfortable with who they are.
It can feel like a lot of pressure when we do online research and compare ourselves to others. It sounds like some of this research has helped and given you some things to try, like changing your hair. It also sounds like you have questioned some things when you see differences. Everyone will be a little different and not everyone's journey is the same. We are here for you on this journey, no matter who you are and if this changes or stays the same. You deserve to be happy and feel comfortable in your skin.
It sounds like you are putting a lot of pressure on yourself and I can hear the times you are more comfortable is when you represent more like a boy. No one has the right to tell you who you are. This is your choice, and it is also your choice if it changes or if it does not. You have also spoken about being feminine and also feeling like a boy - being a boy does not automatically mean you have to be masculine. Being a girl does not automatically mean you have to be very feminine.
I am wondering how it might feel to do more things that make you feel more comfortable. It doesn't have to be things boys do, or things girls do. You can sit however you choose and you can walk any way that is comfortable for you. You have the right to do what makes you comfortable. This might mean some days wearing socks in your trousers, or wearing your hair in a shorter style. Your feelings are valid and we are here to support you.
I hope this helped any of you who are also struggling.
Two dislikes. Disrespectful. Thank you for this great Video!
for the past two years i've been struggling with this and there's just a constant thought that i'm not and i'm just pretending/faking to feel this way...
Here I was thinking that all trans people know for sure who they are and what I’m going through is wrong and uncommon and stupid. This comments section helped me more than the video
I started questioning my gender about twenty minutes ago, it's the second time it happens and I'm just really confused about everything. Am I a boy? A girl? Genderfluid? Who am I? Do I feel comfortable being a girl? I feel desperate to know who I am and it is not. nice.
Same :'' i need help with this
this happen to me as well. i'm a guy and this really hits me hard. i'do my best to be guy, but yeah end up wrong. like not man enough
I watched this video a few months ago, it really helped, and I recently found out that I’m non-binary
Thanks for all that you doing, it's really helpful and calms down, you are wonderful person
I just feel so alone and like I will never be able to be myself.
I am completly confused anout my gender. I was assigned female at birth but i never gave it much thought when i was a kid. However, last summer my school started a LGBTQ+ support group and i joined as I had already come out as pan. They asked me how I identify myself in the specturm of male or female. I told them I was fluid and that i was still questioning. However, Im pretty sure im trans. This might sound weird but I envy those who were assigned male at birth. I wish I was born a male several times a day. My mom dosent want me to buy binders so i use sports bra or black graphic T-shrits to hide my chest. One day as i tried to talk to my mom about this she blew up and started screaming at me. After some time i asked to see a therapist. Mainly it was for my depression and social anxiety but i also wanted somewhere safe to express myself. Unfortunatly, that was not the case. I told my therapist first about my sexualtity and she accepted however, she is very transphobic. She has a cousin who just transitioned to female and she dosent accept her. It broke my heart to hear that so i stayd quiet. I only have one friend who is also queer and accepts me if i were to transition. However, EVERY SINGLE ONE of my "friends" are homophopics/transphobics and simply call me weird, freak, confused or think im doing it for attention. My stepdad is EXTREMLY homophobic and he made that VERY CLEAR every thime i would look at anything remotely queer. I begged my mom to cut my hair short like a male but she wouldnt allow it so i compromised and cut it above my shoulders. All my life i have been known as the "girly-girl" because i didnt think about gender but now, i wear my hair in a beanie whenever im home since my school dosent allow hats. I always where sport bras and black t-shrits whenever i can. After some time of researching Im pretty sure Im trans but im scared what others will think.
Thanks if you read my long rant. Sorry for it being so long.
~CJ
You're an inspiration to many, thanks for sharing your experience and thoughts with everyone. This is a really great video, keep it up :)
Your videos are very helpful, I would just like to say thank you! ^-^
However just some questions about what you personally would think?
My family is pretty much separated into one side being very religious and the other family members are very traditional Asians. Now I know that I should be focusing on my own feelings but, what do I do when I've lived a certain way for so long. Gender has always been confusing for me, although certain things were clear and made me want to pursue this type of life. However, shouldn't I take into account what my family thinks? Topics like this aren't discussed in the part of Asia where I used to live, it was always considered a taboo type of ordeal. Likewise with my religious side of the family. Has there ever been a moment in your life where you were scared to be yourself? Sometimes it feels like this fear controls my life. How do you get past it? How are you brave enough to ask these type of questions and give this type of advice? How can I become as brave and strong as you?
Thanks for taking the time to look at this comment if you see it, and thanks for being your true self!
I like watching Justin Blake. He's a ftm. I feel like I should be a girl and a boy. Help me
Phuong Tran I know this is very late, but if you still want some help, nonbinary is always an option
Bigender as well
You might be gender fluid
maybe you’re just both feminine and masculine?
thank you so much, it really helped me and agdhakd I'm bad at expressing myself. I'm just really happy after seeing this video because you are so cute and helpful; thank you, jammi, thank you so much for being who you are ❤
I feel like I'm invalid because I like my long hair. I know there are a ton of cis boys with long hair but I just feel like I should want short hair because every other trans boy does.
I am pretty sure I am Transgender because:
1. I hate being female.
2. When my parents were at market I was trying to seem male.
3. I wanted to pass as a guy.
4. I reject the girl stuff.
5. I play Assassin's Creed, Call of Duty, GTA 5, etc, the boy's games.
6. I want to have a super cool boy haircut.
7. I want a masculine name.
8. I hate my gender role and the stereotypes about it.
9. I always choose the male character in a game.
10. I pretend in every second of my life that I am a boy, not a girl(-eww)
11. I like girls(Note: I don't want to be lesbian at all!😫😭)
12. Someone asked me "Do you have a boyfriend?"
And I responded " Uh...What?"
In my mind I was something like " Man, I really need a girlfriend..."
Do you think I am Trans?
(Note: I have body dysphoria)
Started questioning the other day. Luckily my best friend is lesbian, and she has been helping me. I told her that I may want to go by he/him now, but I may wait 4 years till I come out 100%. She is the only person that knows. She has been sending me videos, articles, and some quizzes. Looked up this video to see. Right now I’m either tran or a Demi boy. Hopefully this helps
I just woke up but I had this weird dream where I was basically getting kidnapped but someone called me he and I got so excited I woke up
100% know I'm trans, 100% want to fully physically transition, just getting past the barrier of friends/family/loved ones either opposed to it, making it hard for me to do so, and not respecting my names and pronouns.
I love to do my make up and wear dresses and skirts to express myself, and it leads to people saying I'm lying and miss gendering me and I hate it sm
My feelings where off and on sense I was 6. I told my caretaker at the time that I didn't want long hair and they said "you're so pretty though, you're a beautiful young lady" and they kept pushing and pushing me to do "girl things". I didn't understand what was going on, I was confused and was upset with them. It was disturbing me. Without thinking I said to him "I wish I was born a boy." And he yelled "don't you ever say anything like that again, in this house we appreciate how Jesus made us" and then he made me stand in the corner for a half and hour. I was so confused and didn't understand why he was mad. When I got older, around 8 I was adopted by someone else but I still remembered what my previous caretaker said. I didn't talk about it but when I was 13 and developed I felt weird again. My mom yelled at me for "walking and acting like a guy." I still don't know what that means. Only recently am I accepting that I don't feel normal and that it's ok. I'm just scared I'll look like I'm looking for attention or like I'm being a snowflake. I'm extremely confused but I know I'm disphoric over my body. I'm turning 19 next month and i am still having an extremely hard time. Idk what to do.
You are legit my idol rn I feel trans but idk and I'm trying to cut my hair idk how my parents will react
I am a man, but although I have always tried to conform and be as masculine as possible- especially growing up and in my twenties and thirties- but despite my best efforts and athleticism, I never really felt comfortable or manly enough. I now know that the vast majority of my personality traits are feminine, and almost certainly why I failed at being the man I strived for, is because I am just very predisposed to be feminin. Since I have accepted and even embraced this, even wearing dresses, well worn charity shop loose knit cardigans, and sleeping in a nightdress, all of which feel so incredibly natural, happy, empowered and true to myself. I am not at the time of writing trying to look like a woman- as I know that I am a biological male- I am trying to truly embrace my feminine side and submit to it as it feels so right to me. Although I only wear dresses in private, unless obscured under a long coat in public, wearing them feels so right to me that I just know in my heart that living my life as a female is far more akin to my true self. I even wear women's deodorant now, and it smells so natural and beautiful to me. Gender truly is far more fluid than I ever realised, and although I categorise myself as male, in my heart, mind and self, I am definitely female. I am truly on the verge of coming out, but for the time being, I will merely further immerse, embrace and enjoy accepting my incredibly predominant feminine side. I feel guilty classifying myself alongside proper biological women, but I feel such a woman and just so feminine that this side of me far out ways my masculinity, regardless of my biology. I find it hard to classify or label myself, and just feel that I am a male, who has traits and a thought process, which is far more attuned to the female dimension, that I am accepting, embracing and wherever possible living as a woman, as it feels incredibly right and makes me far far happier 💕
i'm 23 & it's only just sort of clicked that i've always felt really resentful at everyone trying to push me into being feminine. I thought i was just a tomboy cause that's what everyone said about me for so long but i honestly don't think i resonate with the person everyone else seems to see me as. it's more like i'm playing the part ? i guess i thought it would be obvious & that i'd have really deep issues but i think i just settled into this because i didn't feel like i had any other choice than to accept it. i've spent 10 years being called gross because i don't want to shave & a lifetime being forced into dresses. (in my primary school girls weren't allowed to wear shorts) I never like the way people treat me as a girl. I think i just really wish this wasn't the case to begin with. I just really don't know how to feel or where to go from here. it took me having a son to even get to this place.
Needed this video right now, thank you
I needed this, thankyou
Watching this for the billionth time
I've been questioning my identity since i discovered the lgbt community back in march 2020. a few weeks before lovely quarantine, i stumbled across an lgbt tik tok compilation and was intrigued, since i had never heard of the acronym. from there i went from label to label, starting w lesbian and moving down the list. bi. non-binary. demigirl. etc. i never understood who i was. after years of questioning recent digging made me realize that i'm ftm trans. my family isn't very accepting of the lgbt community, so i've never felt like i could come out. my moms pried and pried bc she thinks i'm lesbian, but i always deny it bc even if she thinks she's an ally, the way she acts says otherwise and she'll tell the rest of my homophobic family. i don't really know what to do. i can't really tell my friends eitehr because some may react in a negative way (which isn't my main concern) but i'm more scared of word finding it's way back to my family. i just can't deal with the anxiety of it, so i've tried my best to hide my entire identity by being super feminine around people so nobody questions it. i just wanna be myself, but i still have a little over three years before i'm 18 and can move out and be myself.
Okay so since i don't know where else to open up:
I am 17 years old, AFAB and I am questioning my gender. It started around a few years ago already but up until a few weeks ago, I always pushed the topic away because I felt like it's just a phase or that it stems from my body issues in general. I also was always scared that my two only friends when i was a bit younger would tell me I was looking for attention (one of them is trans ftm, but still, I was really scared).
A few months ago the dysphoria hit me hard in the face. I always had issues with my chest, and with my hips, my face, my voice, everything. I just thought that was normal or would simply be because of my already existing body issues. But no, it was rather the other way around. I started hating my body BECAUSE of my feminine features. What i realized lately is how much I actually never wanted to be the girls n social media, I just found them pretty, but i always rather wanted to look like the guys there.
I started binding a few weeks ago and it helps me a lot to cope with my issues about my chest. Cut my hair shorter (shoulderlength) and I plan to cut it shorter. My social life is pretty much into both directions, I am friends with guys and with girls, but always felt more comfortable with the thought of being around boys because i feel like i rather fit in there. I only realized years ago that no boy wanted to be friends with me beceuae well, I am physically a girl.
I always wanted to have a different name, and everytime in my life when i got mistaken for a boy, I felt wonderful.
But what makes me feel like I may not be trans is:
- I love dresses. I LOVE FEMININE CLOTHING
- I don't care about my private parts, the only thing that made me uncomfortable for my whole life is the fact that I am able to carry a child. It gives me such an uncomfortable feeling that I said since i was like 7 that i will never have children.
- when i was younger, i played with dolls, but also with toy cars, played football with my brothers
I don't know who I am. I love femine things as much as I love masculine ones - even though I don't even know how to classify those, since i was raised rather neutral. Not a lot of things fall into one of the categories. I see everything as "for boys AND girls and everyting in between".
The thing with the dresses gets me the most though. Am I trans and just a boy loving feminine things or am I just a masculine girl?
I am convinced that the best way for me to feel would be to be in a male or androgynous body.
But there are also days in which my dysphoria hasnt been bad and i was able to wear dresses and skirts and just told myself that nobody would actually see me as a girl in those but that I can still look neutral in them.
when i was younger I never really questioned my gender, I just know that at 9 years old i started developing a chest and i thought no. I dont want this. and that feeling never stopped. The same with my period and hips. when my mum got me my first bras, i took as long as possible before the social pressure of being stared at was too much and i had to start wearing them. But as a very young child, like before 8 to 9 years, I never even felt anything about my gender - i thought i was a girl because well everyone said so.
What is going on? Can someone give me advice?
I feel the exact same way! You can definitely be feminine and a boy, being fem doesn’t make you any less of a boy.
My parents are the confusing semi-supportive type. Well mainly my dad. My sister and Mom are both very.. Not really quite "bi", just very open and loving. I got that too just more amplified, as a pansexual. The problem is my father. He supports what I do and never says anything bad about it, but at the same time I feel like he doesn't believe me. I came out as Genderfluid almost a year ago because it was my best explanation for my confusion, but ever since then it feels like hes been referring to me more femininely than he did before. He always called me a nickname and now he makes it a passive aggressive point to call me by my very feminine birth name. When he explained this to my friends parents he'd always say things like "Oh well... She's kind of Genderfluid right now." And idk how to tell him that I don't like it or want to be referred to masculinely because I feel like I'm making him uncomfortable by telling him to call his "daughter" a he..
Thanks so much this was so helpful
So I've been saying I'm FTM for a while, but there are things that make me second guess myself.. I've known for a while that I wasn't female, and I've grown to realize I feel a lot more confident and happier when refered to with male pronouns. Chest binding makes me feel a lot happier as well, and a little more confident, but still upset because I know it will never make my chest as flat as I really want. But the only thing that makes me not feel as valid, is I'm still very unsure about transitioning though surgery. I know I want to and feel like I have a need to be on testosterone, I'm am leniant on top surgery slightly but that's about it. And the only reason I can think of why I feel that way is, I'm pan romantic. I don't have any sexual attractions. I have a brother who's trans and I'm afraid to tell him how I feel because I'm worried he'll shrug it off. And I don't really know where else to ask. I didn't want to post in my typical LGBT+ group because I was paranoid about the feedback..
Well I feel like many trans people are a bit reluctant about surgery.. I mean people in general don't really like surgery so that doesn't mean you're not trans!