How to Deal With a Narcissist
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- Опубліковано 7 лип 2024
- A client, Adele, came to me for therapy because she was afraid she would lose her boyfriend of two years. I discuss in this video how she had been convinced that she was lucky to have him - and that no one else would want her.
I explain how he manipulated her into thinking that he was the 'perfect specimen', trapping Adele in a web of sociopathic narcissistic abuse. And I'll share 5 tips you can use to help a client looking to escape a narcissistic relationship.
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++About Mark Tyrrell++
Psychology is my passion. I've been a psychotherapist trainer since 1998, specializing in brief, solution focused approaches. I now teach practitioners all over the world via our online courses.
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00:00 Introduction
01:07 How narcissists work
02:16 Narcissist traits (Narcissistic Personality Disorder)
05:41 5 ways to help your client deal with a narcissist
05:55 Tip 1 - Tread carefully...
07:37 Tip 2 - Teach your client to externalize negatives
09:21 Tip 3 - Suggest that desperate gratitude isn't really called for
10:45 Tip 4 - Remind them of their worth
11:41 Tip 5 - Time travel
I'm a budding therapist, and I've been watching your content consistently for a while now. Your work oozes of experience and picks up on all the subtleties of human nature.
Very grateful to all of this!
Cheers!
I mean, that job is destined for you! Calm voice tone, relaxing hand movements, professional speech! Well done!
Time travel is such a wonderful therapy method, esp.with victims of emotional abuse. You show them what is going wrong in their life and teach them what options and fantastic ressources they have, both at the same time - without much talking.
The 'time travel' idea is great. It's like being given the gift at looking at a situation in retrospect- that 'how could I have been so blind?' insight that you usually can get only AFTER getting out.
I had a doctor give me a similar gift once, when he asked me to write a letter to my future self explaining why my younger self had chosen to stay in an unsuitable long-term relationship. I immediately realized that my reasons to stay were mostly based in fear. I left within weeks and to my younger self who took a brave step, I can say, 'thank you for caring about future you'.
What a beautiful gift to your future self, and your past self who was brave enough to leave. ❤️
Love your dry sarcasm!
Thank you! Your videos are so helpful!
Thank you! I'm learning so much from your videos. You are so knowledgeable and funny!!!
Soooo right on!!!
THANK YOU 🙏🙏🙏🙏
Hi Mark. Requesting you to make a video on how to deal with gaslighting.
Mark, thank you for your work
as a friend, not a clinician, is there anything you can do if you see a friend suffering from this form of abuse? without sacrificing my health? more generally, as friends, how can we help without compromising our own health? esp since saying 'you need therapy' never works ;) thank you for your exceptional content and masterful teaching.
Hello sir! Absolutely love all of your informative videos. If you can, please elaborate on narcissism. My ex was one and I always wonder if I could have helped him change somehow. Thank you 🙏
No, you absolutely cannot change a narcissist. It is at minimal futile and at worst dangerous to try.
How to deal with having a Gary as a colleague?
Sir , please go bit slow it’s hard to follow when you go at jet speed.
Just rewind :)
Great description of a narcissist but no advice on how to deal with one.
11:41 Regarding p. 5 "Time Travel "... Most victims of narcissists expect that their narcissist will become better, it's one if the key traits of a co-dependent person. They look for signs of improvement of their relations tireless, and find them even when they don't exist. Hope that things would miraculously change for the better is very hard to kill, even when you understand that the relations are net-disasterous.
You mentioned that you were within a cult once. Narcissists are very much like cults. When a cult-follower is asked about his future, under the influence of the cult he would most probably picture great prospects for his life
There's so many girls fascinated about the idea of dating narcissists
Are you kidding? And you are basing yout opinion on what? Your comment sounds ill-informed...
@@soniaperez2417 that's my impression from the volume of clickbait videos about 'are you dating a narcissit?' aimed at women
@@whitewittock Thank you for your reply. Per Prof Sam Vaknin, a twice diagnosed malignant narcissist and author (an UA-camr) men and women are becoming narcissists at an equal rate. It is my understanding that about 1 in 25 adults display most of the characteristics of narcissistic personality disorder. I don't believe a person naturally seek narcissits. However, theove bombing phase have the appearance of love and romance and causes people to go into shared fantasy. Once in shared fsntasy we lose the ability to see things as they are abd we see them through the eyes of the narcissist. It is awfully difficult to leave this type of behavior because our brain treats the relationship as a drug, and the only way to overcome its effect is through no contact. Hope this gives you a glimpse of why you see so much clickbait on narcissism.
@@soniaperez2417 thanks for your detailed reply, I do think the need for adventure and maybe the challenge of winning over someone who puts themself first is more of a woman thing but don't shoot me for thinking that. Men just think is she hot, for women it's more is he complex and challenging
@@whitewittock I think non-narcissistic women think that they can influence a man and turn him into the loving husband she envision having. As a woman myself I can attest to that mentality. I grew up being attentive to other people's needs and brought that mentality into my relationship. He seemed sweet, reliable, grounded, etc, but quiet. I am a doer friendly, well read, etc. He turned out to be controlling, unkind, unempathetic, critical, etc. I thought I could help him see his errors to no avail. After 30 years, no contact is the only option. No one is looking to date or marry a narcissist. No one. 👍😊
Mark, are narcissist hopeless?
In my opinion, no. However, the narcissist needs to be very self-aware.
Gary makes my skin crawl.