ive noticed youve been using the word peaceful a lot lately. which is funny because that’s always been the word ive associated you with. love it. happy to hear your voice again 🤍
Realising I’ve been watching you for 10 years and literally gone from being a teen to having a real job and getting married. Thanks for being a calming constant.
I love how everyone is finally starting the conversation around how we have alot of good female role models but not enough for especially in books and cartoons too! Especially good fathers figures on TV
I've just turned 32 and I still, to this day, do not vibe with even one singular straight man, blood relative or not. I even avoid talking with my own, straight brother about some more serious stuff for too long because we just don't live in the same world and I know I'll pass for the crazy one trying to explain a lot of stuff.
The bulk of my most difficult experiences in life have been brought on and/or exacerbated by men. I'm bisexual, but I am very much homo-romantic. I am very fortunate to have a boyfriend who treats me really well and is emotionally healthy and communicative, but before meeting him I really struggled with meeting guys who were...dare I say decent human beings? I met a few good ones, but I also met a number of men who were wrapped up in themselves, their sexual appetite, and their label(s). Top, bottom, side, switch, femme, bear, twink, otter...almost all of the gay men that I met judged me and others based on my appearance and sexuality alone, and it really soured my overall view of interacting with almost any (cisgender) gay man. As for straight men, I am quite lucky to have a couple of amazing straight male friends, but (like you, Connor) I have almost always found myself gravitating toward potential friends that are not straight men. Intimidation and a fear of being judged for who I am play big roles in that, but I also feel that I am missing out on some great people (and vice versa).
What you said at the end reminded me of something Alok Vaid-Menon talks about a lot that really opened my eyes, which is that the reason so many people react so negatively to feminine men and other gender non-conforming people is that they’ve internalized since they were kids that they had to repress important parts of themselves in order to fit in, be respected, be successful, avoid mistreatment, etc., and so they do repress so much of who they are, and they’ve had to justify is to themselves. So seeing someone else go against these norms and be openly and confidently who they are is a threat to how they live their own lives - it makes them question “Could I have been doing that the whole time? Could I have been my true self?” And the easiest answer is “Surely not, surely there’s a reason I’ve hidden these parts of myself away, surely it’s worth it, surely doing anything else is wrong, surely THEY are wrong, not me.” Of course, like you say, the strongest, bravest people are those who openly buck restrictive norms, and it’s hard to admit that you’re just not that brave (at least, not yet). I hope more and more people can get to a place where they realize the joy and freedom in being their true selves
Love this video as always! I do have a bit of constructive criticism though about the thing you're sponsoring. I know you always have the best intentions, especially around mental health; however, BetterHelp shouldn't be given the promotions that it does, as there's a lot of evidence on the fact that no one on the platform are licensed therapists, nor have they been trained to actually be helpful. Overall it's a scam that does more harm than good, so I recommend looking deeper into that information if you're curious, as well as finding sponsors that are more ethical. Hope you understand. Love you! 💛
Love your openness in discussing this! I am a therapist and I think you should check out The Will To Change - Men, Masculinity and Love by bell hooks. I recommend it in my practice all the time and leads to wonderful conversations!
when you said "i dont date ou fall in love easy bc i'm thinking what if he is secretly like all the others" OMG THIS. i get now why i have been single for so long. thanks for the video
Thank you for making this video, it really resonates with me. You are key in my journey towards self acceptance and confidence. You where talking about role models, that's what you are in my life right now ❤ I am so thankful for finding a save space on the internet thru your channel. I love you, see u next week!
This content used to be relatable to me, but I came to realize that your content is focused on white (western) queerness and problems that are only convenient to your personal goals and image.
"Difference must be not merely tolerated, but seen as a fund of necessary polarities between which our creativity can spark like a dialectic. Only then does the necessity for interdependency become unthreatening." -- Audre Lorde
sometimes people online just have the vibe to them which screams BESTIE YOU'RE MY VERSION, WE'D BE SO SO GOOD FRIENDS just meet me once and Connor is one of them i can't-
Connor, you put everything so perfectly. As a queer man who has had to navigate multiple and diverse relationships with straight men in his life, this video makes me feel so seen, heard and understood. Like I said, you took the words right out of my heart + mind and put it quite eloquently. Thank you for just being you, Connor ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜
Good topic Connor. You are sharing a lot of the same things many gay men deal with on different levels. The video helps you and others who watch. You are taking the steps to change things.
Connor, I'm glad you and I both live in a time where masculinity is being redefined to what it should always have been, which is to identify as male, and/or own male genitals. Which frankly is long overdue. Also, glad you're getting comfy being you around other straight dudes, some of whom also feel they didn't quite fit the standard either. Not many straight guys talk about, how when they don't fit the exact mold of masculinity it sends them down a rabbit hole questioning their sexuality and causes depression and anxiety issues. It's awful.
Hey Connor! You probably don’t know who I am, but I actually grew up down the street from your house in La cre.. you know where it is, but I won’t say it publicly online. Maybe you knew of my sister Chelsea Lovejoy, who knows, but I just wanted to let you know that everyone in your childhood town adores you and who you are and you’ll always have a special place of support here. You give hope to the possibility of having and being more despite being in such a small area. I remember back when I was in high school, all of the students who were in theatre and who didn’t necessarily fit to the norm always looked up to you. You were and are the motivation of so many, and of course this appeal of you isn’t limited to just the place you came from. I just wanted you to know that as the years go on, so many still look up to you and cherish your name. Keep going Connor
I feel like I would be so uncomfortable being in an all cis-straight-guy book club! I dated a heteroflexible guy for years and I am fucking traumatized.
OMG Connor! You perfectly described my childhood and my relationship with other men. Being a closeted gay in a rural area, I was always scared and code switching. Still have trust issues with men and other gays in my adult life.
Hey Connor, you and I have many of the same views on life and relating to other people! As humans, we have a tendency to fit in certain categories. So in that sense , we can be considered normal according to Sigmund Freud! So just breathe in deeply and relax Mr. Franta.😅😊
I enjoyed and appreciate you sharing your thoughts on masculinity and what it means to be a good human being who happens to be male. Authenticity and empathy are my take aways. Stay well👍🙏😎❤️
I feel very similar to you! I've always found very difficult to connect with other men. The inner belief that they are not trustworthy or that they could be a threat is quite real. I've had the luck to come across very good hearted straight and gay men in my adult life who opened my eyes. At the same time I have the same attitudes and fears like you when dating and it's very interesting to hear that as it seems more like a phenomenon rather than a very rare experience that I have. Thanks for sharing.
I highly recommend the movie "The masc we live in" - I thought of it immediately when you mentioned that you felt like you were constantly masking. It's amazing that you started this book club and talk about this with other men
Hi Connor, I am not sure if you have a contract with betterhelp that you can't break, if so please do not renew it, it's a sketchy service/company that does not support the right causes.
Curious 👀 how is your relationship with money? This is what ties us to each other’s reality. Until become bonded in other ways. Tho that root bond is always tied to money. You have to remove/push aside money to see the true reality of somebody to see what other roots tie them to this reality thus making them relatable. 🤔
Totally relate. Felt the same way growing up. Male behavior has been so stereotyped into sports, cars and viginas. Once you enter the artistic world it all falls apart. You got the right idea and path.
my all boys book club has inspired me to discuss my past and present feelings about men... buckle up, folks
Where can I join that book club? I actually started reading Crying in H Mart 3 days ago so that was very odd to see it on your list 😄
🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈
I love you
ive noticed youve been using the word peaceful a lot lately. which is funny because that’s always been the word ive associated you with. love it. happy to hear your voice again 🤍
it's become my favorite word in recently years :)
Being scared to start a relationship because "what if he is secretly like the others" SPOKE TO MY SOUL 🖤
SAME!!
SAME!! my boyfriend had to sit down and talk to me about it. Apparently he's felt it, lol
The colour combination of your eyes and that sweater is absolutely gorgeous
Realising I’ve been watching you for 10 years and literally gone from being a teen to having a real job and getting married. Thanks for being a calming constant.
I love how everyone is finally starting the conversation around how we have alot of good female role models but not enough for especially in books and cartoons too! Especially good fathers figures on TV
Giovanni's Room is MANDATORY reading for any queer masc individual! Highly suggested!
it's! so! good!
The “come here. And I drop the brick” gets me every time
I've just turned 32 and I still, to this day, do not vibe with even one singular straight man, blood relative or not. I even avoid talking with my own, straight brother about some more serious stuff for too long because we just don't live in the same world and I know I'll pass for the crazy one trying to explain a lot of stuff.
2:35 I also think it's about not acknowledging your OWN humanity. anything you project outwards you project inwards. great video
Great insight❤
Wow, so true. It really is a denial human morality and self-compassion to be able to treat others with such a lack of respect.
The bulk of my most difficult experiences in life have been brought on and/or exacerbated by men. I'm bisexual, but I am very much homo-romantic. I am very fortunate to have a boyfriend who treats me really well and is emotionally healthy and communicative, but before meeting him I really struggled with meeting guys who were...dare I say decent human beings? I met a few good ones, but I also met a number of men who were wrapped up in themselves, their sexual appetite, and their label(s). Top, bottom, side, switch, femme, bear, twink, otter...almost all of the gay men that I met judged me and others based on my appearance and sexuality alone, and it really soured my overall view of interacting with almost any (cisgender) gay man. As for straight men, I am quite lucky to have a couple of amazing straight male friends, but (like you, Connor) I have almost always found myself gravitating toward potential friends that are not straight men. Intimidation and a fear of being judged for who I am play big roles in that, but I also feel that I am missing out on some great people (and vice versa).
The way you form your sentences and the words you use are just 🤌🏼✨i love listening to you Connor :)
♥♥♥
What you said at the end reminded me of something Alok Vaid-Menon talks about a lot that really opened my eyes, which is that the reason so many people react so negatively to feminine men and other gender non-conforming people is that they’ve internalized since they were kids that they had to repress important parts of themselves in order to fit in, be respected, be successful, avoid mistreatment, etc., and so they do repress so much of who they are, and they’ve had to justify is to themselves. So seeing someone else go against these norms and be openly and confidently who they are is a threat to how they live their own lives - it makes them question “Could I have been doing that the whole time? Could I have been my true self?” And the easiest answer is “Surely not, surely there’s a reason I’ve hidden these parts of myself away, surely it’s worth it, surely doing anything else is wrong, surely THEY are wrong, not me.”
Of course, like you say, the strongest, bravest people are those who openly buck restrictive norms, and it’s hard to admit that you’re just not that brave (at least, not yet). I hope more and more people can get to a place where they realize the joy and freedom in being their true selves
Love this video as always! I do have a bit of constructive criticism though about the thing you're sponsoring. I know you always have the best intentions, especially around mental health; however, BetterHelp shouldn't be given the promotions that it does, as there's a lot of evidence on the fact that no one on the platform are licensed therapists, nor have they been trained to actually be helpful. Overall it's a scam that does more harm than good, so I recommend looking deeper into that information if you're curious, as well as finding sponsors that are more ethical. Hope you understand. Love you! 💛
0:27 WOW WHAT A COLLECTION!
YEAA NEW VIDEO! so happy to see you again
back at it again 🫡
Thank you Connor for being a beacon in my life ❤
happy to be a place of peace ♥
Very well articulated. Your experience exactly mirrors my own (although I don’t think I could verbalise it that well) ❤
thank you! i need to do a long form essay on this bc it's really only the surface level. perhaps i'll write it up!
@@ConnorFranta I haven't come across many sources on this topic so I think it would be good to expand the conversation 😁
loveeee thank you for spreading positive vibes as always 🥰
♥♥♥
Love your openness in discussing this! I am a therapist and I think you should check out The Will To Change - Men, Masculinity and Love by bell hooks. I recommend it in my practice all the time and leads to wonderful conversations!
ooo thank you for the rec! i've been needing some more gender and societal literature
when you said "i dont date ou fall in love easy bc i'm thinking what if he is secretly like all the others" OMG THIS. i get now why i have been single for so long. thanks for the video
Connor I love you!
From South Africa!
betterhelp is crazy
So strange that all these youtubers suddenly trust them again
Connor, thank you so much for uploading this video, you're my inspiration to me for being gay and famous!! ❤
Your videos feel like a private conversation with a bestie..so it was good talking to you today..catch you soon
that the atmosphere i'm going for, so glad you felt that way :)
Could this be why so many are preferencing identifying as non binary over male?
This resonated so much for me as the queer, eldest daughter of south asian immigrants ❤
♥♥♥
Thank you for making this video, it really resonates with me. You are key in my journey towards self acceptance and confidence. You where talking about role models, that's what you are in my life right now ❤ I am so thankful for finding a save space on the internet thru your channel. I love you, see u next week!
are you on Storygraph, is there any way to join the book club?
Marry me. 😊
Connor I love you but better help is just not it :(
Gaysthetic Poet is back, fine as ever 🤩
That yellow sweater though!
thank you so much
You radiate comfort
that's so nice of you to say
“Back in October I wanted to connect with my friends more” instead of speak out against the genocide in Palestine.
This content used to be relatable to me, but I came to realize that your content is focused on white (western) queerness and problems that are only convenient to your personal goals and image.
"Difference must be not merely tolerated, but seen as a fund of necessary polarities between which our creativity can spark like a dialectic. Only then does the necessity for interdependency become unthreatening." -- Audre Lorde
I subscribe to your Utopia
♥♥♥
thank you for sharing as always! you inspire me 🤍
glad you enjoyed it :)
You’re so vivid and bright person that I wanna befriend with you 🧚🏻♂️
Society is failing men.. Hmmm
Tell me more about it... I have time
way to take the video completely out of context
There is nothing wrong with being a strong gay man. I'm over male bashing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Grow up!!!!!!
nobody said it isn't? you're projecting, darling
NEW VIDEO FROM MY FAVOURITE HUMAN ❤🗣️
Love it! It's random, I kinda miss Connor thrift shop shopping video :-)
oh my gosh is that Connor Franta?
the one and only
Everyone of your videos is a winner with Mr. My head feels better after listening to you😊❤
It was a great video… then Better Help showed up. When will UA-camrs move past that scam?
WHATS THE NAME OF THE BOOOKKKKKKK
Sleeping with men is always fun!
um should i watch this if i’m a woman???? (just checking) ily
yes lmaooo
definitely :)
lmao betterhelp
So tired of these woke pseudo-intellectual gays.
Wow, I felt very close to the same growing up
have a great day love
you too :)
such a good video. thank you connor
♥♥♥
solidarity* not solitude 😅
great small video Connor
Omg it’s been a hot min
Noooooo Connor, not Betterhelp :( Please look into the unethical practices of this company and do not promote in the future if possible.
0:42 Society is not failing men, it’s just a ✨loneliness epidemic ✨that has quick fix solutions (jk)
sometimes people online just have the vibe to them which screams BESTIE YOU'RE MY VERSION, WE'D BE SO SO GOOD FRIENDS just meet me once and Connor is one of them i can't-
Connor, you put everything so perfectly. As a queer man who has had to navigate multiple and diverse relationships with straight men in his life, this video makes me feel so seen, heard and understood. Like I said, you took the words right out of my heart + mind and put it quite eloquently. Thank you for just being you, Connor ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜
Good topic Connor. You are sharing a lot of the same things many gay men deal with on different levels. The video helps you and others who watch. You are taking the steps to change things.
2:07 Lmao all qualities were in negative points in some of my all-boys school compatriots. (Not that I was easy to deal with)
Connor, I'm glad you and I both live in a time where masculinity is being redefined to what it should always have been, which is to identify as male, and/or own male genitals. Which frankly is long overdue. Also, glad you're getting comfy being you around other straight dudes, some of whom also feel they didn't quite fit the standard either. Not many straight guys talk about, how when they don't fit the exact mold of masculinity it sends them down a rabbit hole questioning their sexuality and causes depression and anxiety issues. It's awful.
Hey Connor! You probably don’t know who I am, but I actually grew up down the street from your house in La cre.. you know where it is, but I won’t say it publicly online. Maybe you knew of my sister Chelsea Lovejoy, who knows, but I just wanted to let you know that everyone in your childhood town adores you and who you are and you’ll always have a special place of support here. You give hope to the possibility of having and being more despite being in such a small area. I remember back when I was in high school, all of the students who were in theatre and who didn’t necessarily fit to the norm always looked up to you. You were and are the motivation of so many, and of course this appeal of you isn’t limited to just the place you came from. I just wanted you to know that as the years go on, so many still look up to you and cherish your name. Keep going Connor
I feel like I would be so uncomfortable being in an all cis-straight-guy book club! I dated a heteroflexible guy for years and I am fucking traumatized.
OMG Connor! You perfectly described my childhood and my relationship with other men. Being a closeted gay in a rural area, I was always scared and code switching. Still have trust issues with men and other gays in my adult life.
Hey Connor, you and I have many of the same views on life and relating to other people! As humans, we have a tendency to fit in certain categories. So in that sense , we can be considered normal according to Sigmund Freud! So just breathe in deeply and relax Mr. Franta.😅😊
sweetie... You've been out of focus all the time, what happened to your super Ai focus Sony camera !!
I enjoyed and appreciate you sharing your thoughts on masculinity and what it means to be a good human being who happens to be male. Authenticity and empathy are my take aways. Stay well👍🙏😎❤️
The Will to Change by Bell Hooks is a great read for this topic!! Just picked it up a few months ago and it’s pretty good
i just remembered this channel, i used to watch you like 10 years ago in 2014!
“What if you’re secretly all like the others” YOU GET IT 😩😩😩 you get me
💚💚💚
I feel like I relate to you so much. Especially with this. I’m scared. Of men. Lol
❤❤
I felt deeply uncomfortable around women, quite the opposite of you!
I feel very similar to you! I've always found very difficult to connect with other men. The inner belief that they are not trustworthy or that they could be a threat is quite real. I've had the luck to come across very good hearted straight and gay men in my adult life who opened my eyes. At the same time I have the same attitudes and fears like you when dating and it's very interesting to hear that as it seems more like a phenomenon rather than a very rare experience that I have. Thanks for sharing.
Our favourite twink at it again with another great video, good to see you growing and existing beautifully little gay boi. Hope you have a nice day.
Dear men,
What did y'all do to deserve Connor Franta?
I highly recommend the movie "The masc we live in" - I thought of it immediately when you mentioned that you felt like you were constantly masking. It's amazing that you started this book club and talk about this with other men
Hi Connor, I am not sure if you have a contract with betterhelp that you can't break, if so please do not renew it, it's a sketchy service/company that does not support the right causes.
thanks for this, it's always interesting to hear you deep dive into a topic you care about
There is a crisis for men..
I cant relate to men.. ( oh wait.. im a woman 😂)
I am sooo DONE with people calling masculin "Bad" "Wrong" and "Evil".
maybe not what it truly is, but rather, what it has morphed into by the populous and what it represents now to a majority
Me when men
men when i
I don’t know if I missed it, but what’s the book? 😅
i love being a man
Such a smart video :)
How did you start this book club? :)
Curious 👀 how is your relationship with money? This is what ties us to each other’s reality. Until become bonded in other ways. Tho that root bond is always tied to money. You have to remove/push aside money to see the true reality of somebody to see what other roots tie them to this reality thus making them relatable. 🤔
honestly, i'll just add this to the list of video topics. i have a lot to say about money.
what is the title of book about the decline of men?
You desperately need a Bluetooth Microphone if you are going to keep doing this.
He has almost 5 million subscribers, I think he’s probably just fine.
Totally relate. Felt the same way growing up. Male behavior has been so stereotyped into sports, cars and viginas. Once you enter the artistic world it all falls apart. You got the right idea and path.
the editing on each of your videos blows my mind every time 🤩
First viewer
disliking because of betterhelp sponsorship
Can relate
said it a few days ago but i'll say it again:
this is why you've been my fav since 2012
great video, as always!!! (@petmeconnor)
I'M EARLY
I LOVE THIS