Growing Up While (Unknowingly) Autistic | AUTISM IN GIRLS
Вставка
- Опубліковано 14 тра 2024
- Use coupon LOOPXOLIVIA for 15% off your Loops Earlplugs! Follow this link: glnk.io/z0o4/olivia15
#OliviaHops #ActuallyAutistic @loopearplugs, #loopearplugs, #LoopAmbassador, #LoopPartner
“You’re such an old soul “, no it was the autism 😂💅
Regarding sensory issues, in addition to the 5 sight, sound, taste, smell & touch there are 3 more that significantly affect an autistic person's experience: vestibular (balance), proprioception (coordination) & interception (internal bodily sensation: digestion, temperature, pain perception). I wish these issues would be given more attention!
Thank you for pointing that out! I noticed being more sensitive to movement, pain and things like my own pulse/heartbeat but until just now never made the connection to my Aspergers!
Story time: My husband gifted me with a floating/sensory deprivation experience, which sounded heavenly on paper after 30+ years of sensory overload. I had to leave the pool after 5min because I got incredibly motion sick, the feeling lasting for the rest of the day. The hubby had fun though 🤣
This!
Research is usually done addressing "behavior", disregarding the fact that so called behavior is communication, and often an expression of extreme pain due to sensory stress.
Oh. My. God. Autism can affect internal body temperature??!!! My whole life I have run hot, ridiculously so. Summer is the bane of my existence and literal hell for me. I have NO ability to regulate my internal body temperature. My whole life I have wondered WHY the hell I’m like this, as well as all my other autism traits that I also didn’t understand. But I never thought one disorder could connect THIS many dots for me. Everything makes sense now.
@@kathryn6092 I think I have trouble with temperature too, the summer is terrible when I get too hot. But I also get cold especially my feet get so cold and I have to basically stay by the fire all day or sit and hold my feet to warm them up
Absolutely, I can relate to all of it.
I love the way you pointed out that people can think you’re “spoiled;” it’s so frustrating to have genuine anxiety and things you can’t control interpreted that way. I hope more people will realize to think twice before assuming someone is spoiled!
Couldn't agree more, LL!!
I got accused of being spoiled when I went help for ADHD. This medical professional was yelling at me. At the time I didn't even really understand. Like she made me question myself. Now I realize how wrong she was, and I'm so shocked someone who works in the medical profession at a federally-funded mental health center labeled Christian on top of it, could be so ignorant of a person with a physical disorder who truly needed medical help so strongly 🤯
@@whiskersmom5850 WOW !😧 That was so wrong on SO MANY levels !! I'm sorry you experienced this & I understand. I've been yelled at, mocked, belittled, shamed by so called "professionals". These people are clearly chose the wrong careers & it has taken me decades to realize "It's them- Not me".
🖤 Their loss for not seizing a learning opportunity. Unfortunately it always makes me leary to seek help again for anything 😪
✊Which is why having someone like Olivia take a stand, is so important. She's a blessing
@@catherinegrace7999 The mental health system has mocked me many times. Not everyone, some mental health professionals are great. But some people are very rude.
@@whiskersmom5850 I’ve had similar experiences myself. It’s so painful to be misinterpreted in such a way. It makes you question your own reality and for me personally it’s been very confusing. Thanks for sharing.
Omg, listening to your description of your childhood, my daughter was, is, exactly like you. She has only recently discovered that she’s on the spectrum. She is also very intelligent and always was and very sensitive to noise, smells, touch, etc. Still is. Funny that she also had Breyer horses and played with them for hours. When she was preschool age, it was My Little Pony and Barbie. She did have a few close friends she could play with and interact with but she was always in charge. She also went thru the anxiety and depression at the same age you did, middle school and then high school. She still suffers from both and still has difficulties with relationships. She was also labeled a spoiled child and treated like that by family. They acted like it was our fault because she was our only child. I had two miscarriages after she was born and could not have any more kids so everyone thought she was spoiled because she was an only. I have been berated by my family for 39 years for the way my daughter is, as if I was just a bad parent. In my gut, I always knew it wasn’t our fault but it’s really hard on her and me to be treated as if we failed her in some way. We didn’t. Doctors just didn’t diagnose or treat autism when she was a child so we never knew. I have since learned that there are other autistic children in my family who went undiagnosed but my nieces kids have been diagnosed and are getting the help I wish was available 30+ years ago. My daughter struggles every day with autism and the ways it affects her life as an adult and I still struggle to understand her and her needs. I try but we need help,
Hey Belle! Thanks for your comment. It really does sound like your daughter and I are twins! I'm really sorry that she struggles so much and that your family never understood what she and you were going through. I think my mom can relate to that as well unfortunately. If you or your daughter ever want some help, I do offer coaching if you'd be interested. Blessing to you and her! You're an amazing mom!! 💙
@@OliviaHops Thank you SO much! I admire the way you embrace your autism and have found a happy life within it. I hope my daughter can some day be the same and I may reach out to you for coaching. It’s so hard for us to communicate. How would I contact you for coaching, as a parent?
This makes me so sad. Life is so hard; being torn down and shat on by people you love and want support from is toxic and painful.
I can relate to things you've shared. I could also socialize with specific people, but I was always the "ring leader", having to be in control. So many of my report cards from grade school mention it. 🤦🏻♀️ Super helpful in the late 80s, early 90s. I think the hardest part, besides having uncontrollable sensitivities, being labeled "domineering" and "problematic", is the external messages and intolerance which is so highly damaging to our self esteem and confidence. It shapes so much of our inner voice. I mean, we also don't know what is going on, so we take on everything as character traits, and being treated like we're spoiled brats or bad seeds is just the icing. There is a lot more awareness now, but society is still very much like this. I also struggle with relationships and not wanting to deal with people. Some of it is that I have a lot of sensory issues and can't cope very well for long periods of time with people, but also my experience has been damaging as well.
I think you being such a supportive, loving mom really helps. And Olivia having a supportive, loving mom. I know mothers can't take away the pain of existence or the world from their children, but it helps so much.
My youngest is autistic, and seeing things through his lens, the reactions, the societal intolerance, the way he struggles, tears at me. It's because he's my love, but also because it triggers feelings and memories. The ostracization and intolerance. The misunderstanding and victim shaming. I refuse to allow anyone access to him that treats him poorly, blames or shame him. At least where I can control it. I can't control all of it, people are cruel and intolerant of otherness and things they don't understand. They get so wrapped up in close-minded judgement. Unfortunately, that means toxic family members as well. I don't know that it will make a huge difference, but I can't shake the implications of damage done by having self perception and esteem being poisoned and molded by judgemental, hurtful people that I can prohibit access to. It's not like they are stellar influences or offer anything in the way of support anyway - just unhelpful BS that is damaging to my child. And myself. The downside is it can already be extremely isolating, but I feel the upsides are obvious.
I would have maybe never known so much about myself had I never had him. No one caught it or even mentioned the diagnosis. It wasn't as if people weren't aware of my presence or the problematic things, but no one knew how to deal with it or what it even was. It's easier to treat everyone for anxiety and depression. I hope these videos, and people like yourself, sharing can help someone else. Knowing and understanding is only half the battle, but a very important key to overall development and quality of life.
@@EMILYHERRERA I totally relate to keeping your kid away from toxic people, including family! I got so sick of my large family judging me as a parent based on my daughters behavior. I rarely asked my parents or siblings to babysit because they just didn’t understand her. To this day, 39 years later, my older sister berates me for the way I parented and blames me for my daughter’s issues, even though my sister knows damn well now that my daughter is on the spectrum. My sister brings it up all the time that I kept my daughter “hidden” is her word, from family. I didn’t keep her hidden, I just didn’t let them get too close because they were so critical. I was protecting her even though she was undiagnosed at the time. I just knew they were not good for us. Love my family and I was close to my parents but to find out so many years later that they were all talking behind my back really hurts. My family was big and shared every detail of their lives with each other but I did not and they didn’t care much for that. We were civil to each other but I didn’t let them in to my life. Still don’t. My husband’s parents were the polar opposite. They never judged us. I think they instinctively knew we were doing our best and knew to be kind to us and our daughter. I’m grateful I had the support of my in-laws. If our daughter had a meltdown at my in-laws house, granny just comforted her. At my parents house, she was scolded for acting like a baby. And my family wonders why we didn’t visit often.
You do you and do what’s best for your son. Your instincts are correct. I also didn’t know growing up that I am probably on the spectrum as well. I was just labeled shy and awkward.
she likely struggles with society's demands and not actually struggles with being autistic. know the difference and let her know society is not the standard to try to be. being Individual and teaching her Self Confidence is very very crucial
Covid was amazing for smell sensitive folks like me. People kept their personal smells more to themselves.
The first time I walked out in public again without a mask, I about died going through the grocery store smelling everything so much more than usual with the mask. People can be so, so smelly. Sorry people, no offense. I’m not great smelling myself, certainly.
Ugh the sanitizer smell tho. I cant stand it! I have a hard time using it if I have to use it.
It was nice to not smell everything. But now I'm stuck with a messed up smell and taste. Lots of things have a garbage/spoiled food taste/smell. And my own smell....I'm not sure how to describe it. Basically I'd 100% take back my pre covid smell/taste (which was super sensitive) over what I'm dealing with now.
That's so funny you say that because I just had covid for the first time and my smell still isn't back all the way and it definitely is awesome!
It sucks to just go past one car in my bike and be overwhelmed with either perfume, cigarettes or just their smell lol! Even with just people walking by!! I thought this was normal for anyone to experience. My 2 year old daughter always first smells food before eating and if we give her something we bit first, she says smells like mom or smells like dad. Lol
Your haircut looks great!
I was labeled as a crybaby as a kid and it was not like I enjoyed the whole crying episode, as people would presume. Who enjoys feeling devastated, then getting a headache and looking horrid from all the crying, plus being unable to logically think and verbally express myself during these meltdowns? I sure did not! Had I known then I am on the spectrum, I would have at least been able to understand that these episodes were out of my control. To this day, my family does not understand me and never will, so I truly appreciate your videos and helping spread awareness and understanding about us. Some of us only have each other to look for support.
We need more awareness - people with autism grow up with their original personalities. "Normal" people with "normal" instincts lose their unique individuality through their instincts forcing them to conform. I find this to be tragic.
Some conformity is necessary, but having an instinct that drives you to completely destroy your unique personhood is tragic.
Wow that is an awesome view. Like mind blown.
Thank you!!! This “shy weird horse girl”, who has kept her collection of too many breyers for 30 years cause I cannot let go is crying tears of joy and understanding at 4 am. Thank you for making these videos. Thank you for spreading awareness!!!
As a kid I would have what I thought were “tantrums” and would get punished for them, looking back they would always get worse or longer. Knowing that they were meltdowns would have been so so helpful
I got diagnosed with ASD two years ago, at the age of 41. The way you describe your childhood sounds so familiar. I was in a way, lucky to grow up in a small community, where the same kids were my classmates from kindergarten to end of highschool, and I didn't have that many changes in my life until after I graduated highschool. Then again, my autism might have been found earlier had I not been in such a stable and stress free environment, where I was able to just live in my own bubble, do things my way and have everyone know how I was. I did feel very alien among my peers, and prefered being alone, or with adults, but I wasn't doing anything disruptive, and had good grades (I loved learning things), so I was left to my on devices.
Things got too overwhelming when I moved out and went to university. Suddenly I was in a new place, in a big city, with new people, and everything was too much. I had a massive burn-out, moved back home and stayed hidden in my darkened room for half a year, before my parents forced me to talk to someone. At the time all I knew was that I had severe social anxiety, and some sort of agoraphobia. I got medication, therapy and was able to later on study a profession - not in the university, but in a smaller school in a small town near my parents. But my problems persisted. Therapy ended and things got harder and harder. I wasn't able to do my house chores, I could barely leave my home, and I was unable to work. The diagnoses I had were supposed to be treatable, but I still wasn't able to function. Then one day, I found an article about a woman who had autism. Her life was like mine. And I got diagnosed.
I'm glad you are making these videos, hopefully autistic kids today can find the right diagnosis early on and get the right kind of support. I feel I've wasted all of my adult life trying to fix something that I should have just learned to live with. Had I known in my 20s that autism was the reason for my struggles, I could have done things differently, and my life could be more productive.
I can relate to your life. at 52 I just found out im autistic. I am to the point i can't function. I know how to drive, but my anxiety is so bad I can't do it, I'm also pretty much agoraphobic I feel stuck. I'm around people that aren't good for me, it's made me worse.
Smell-triggered migraines are definitely a thing. Fragrances can trigger instant headaches in me and people just don't get it unless it happens to them.
Me too. It is so difficult for those who don't deal with it to understand. I have this wuth sound as well as smell. It just takes that one moment and then it has trigger a headache (which sometimes I can stop, but sometimes it is a migraine, which can knock me out for days). Hugs
Yes same here! Smell-triggerd migraines are horrible
That has happened to me as well! Especially artificial fragrances.
I think people (even doctors) underestimate the extent sensory issues affect an autistic person's experience. As a child I could not think clearly or even speak in a noisy environment. I was extremely distracted by the sensation of my clothes, hair & even eyelashes. Bright colors made me dizzy & nauseous. I was a bright kid but could not function in a school environment at all!
The loops quiets have an even better design now they're more comfortable and the case is improved too
Honestly, your videos are really comforting to me in a way. I am undiagnosed, but I'm 90% sure I am Autistic. And every few months I get this phase were I just doubt myself and my experience. And it really helps to hear you talk about your experience and see how much it is like mine.
Like, I'm really surprised how nobody around me saw/sees these traits in me.
Edit: How did nobody think its weird, I knew about 600 Pokémon by name, appereance and type by heart?
see i wish i got the cool autism like that where u can memorize things, i just got the OOOO AAAA me me like thing kind. i wish i knew all the pokemon and stuff, that'd be cool.
Im in the same boat as you, just this past year at 26 years old realized that im autistic (90% sure of course need a professional opinion/diagnosis) and have been connecting so many dots in my life since realizing it.
From a former Hertz employee, a rental car smelling like smoke is a serious thing. There’s a $250 cleaning fee for smoking in a rental car for a reason.
Unfortunately in Italy I don't think that's the case. People smoke constantly over there. That's the one bad thing about Italy in my opinion!
With the 'you're so spoiled' people - I think that often non-autistic people think that their experience is like ours, so because they would think the cigarette smell is a little annoying, they assume you're asking them to switch just for something that's a little annoying. I like to compare it to physical disability to try and explain to them. They wouldn't say 'you're so lazy; I'm tired too but I'm still walking' to someone in a wheelchair.
I'd be interested in what you think - I think that growing up with families who accepted our being different was good in one sense as it meant we had acceptance, but also it contributed to late diagnosis as they didn't see a 'problem' with us.
I love your example. I will definitely have to use that next time!
And that's an interesting take. I'd say that definitely has some truth to it for sure.
growing up with parents that didnt accept it made me mask all the time and supress my personality and hide every little hint of struggle. i'm now a master of crying silently and having internal meltdowns because if i didn't they'd think i was seeking atenttion, exaggerating and being annoying.
It's very frustrating knowing that others interpreted - or 'diagnosed' - my autism according to their point of reference. It's also frustrating knowing that I lived 65 years with no one (including me) knowing the root cause. Fortunately, an insightful therapist was able to connect the dots. Finally, I feel like a completed puzzle.
I'm so glad you finally have your answer and were able to complete your puzzle 💙
Recently diagnosed with high-functioning ASD and unspecified ADD at 80!
SO MANY sensory issues that are becoming even more intense as I age.
I would leave the family room and go to another, quiet room, to read or do something by myself, on a regular basis, when I was in company. Texture and taste differences weren’t allowed. I HAD TO EAT my food. SMELLS drive me wild in my condo building, especially spicy ones. Thank goodness for my range hood fans.
Headaches were constant. A car rental was a major breakdown with the now ex-partner, because of smoky smell.
“Unspecified anxiety and unspecified depression” were part of my diagnoses, as well.
Thank you for your (unknowingly autistic) growing up video, Olivia. Even more things that I (unknowingly) grew up with. Autism began to be diagnosed only in the 1940’s, after I was born (in 1942).
I like being by myself. Never was lonely. Still am not.
So many things make sense, now that I have the diagnoses.
Haven’t been diagnosed yet, but we are the same about socializing with adults only. Ate cucumbers and rice mostly as a kid. Family hated my food pickiness. Had to go to sleep after school everyday in High school and my mom hated that, too.
I was born in 1974 and I was diagnosed with autism at 45 growing up for me was super hard for me
OMG!! You are telling my story! I’m 58! Found out 2 years ago. I actually raised an autistic son(he’s 21)and I never caught on, and NONE of his teachers/counselors EVER noticed it. (50 years is a long time to work on your mask.)
I was exactly like you. Meltdowns constantly called tantrums, picky eater, loud noises terrified me, weird about sticky things on my skin. Breyer horses were also my special interest, n my happiest times were alone, making seasonal blankets n scenarios. They all had names and were my imaginary family. My mother regularly called me “rotten to the core” for all the meltdowns n being “difficult”.
Haven’t spoken to my chaotic family in years n today I’m still learning who I am. Thank you for your channel, and for sharing ❤️
59, autistic and Breyer horses here too
I took Julia Kristina's shift society membership course and it really helped me with self awareness, self discovery and self care. check out her UA-cam videos and if you like her presentation, I can highly recommend it.
@@tracirex Thank you, sister from another mother :)
So what did you end up doing at the restaurant. Simply not eat?
@@jokemeijer-fofana5787 I would simply sit at the table and wait my mother out. I couldn’t tell her why the food was unutterably gross to me and I knew the rest of the family seemed to like the foods I couldn’t eat. I felt wrong and crazy. My reputation for stubbornness was legendary in the family. It was only that I COULDN’T eat, not that I wasn’t willing. Set up a lot of disordered eating in my life unfortunately.
@@yourgodismean4526 Thanks for your answer. But I meant to ask Olivia. I just noticed I put my comment in the wrong place.
I am so praying that my daughter is able to get her diagnosis during her evaluations this month so that she and I can have a response when she is called bossy, manipulative, and over sensitive!
Called over sensitive whole life not diagnosed until 23 now 41 got adhd diagnosis at 40
Praying for her evaluation to go well! 🙏🏻 If she/you ever need any help, I offer coaching. I'd love to help anyway I can if you need it. God Bless! 💙
@@OliviaHops Unfortunately, because she did really well on the theory of mind portion of the evaluation, they think that she has ADHD like me and not both. And I don't even know where I would start finding a Christian ADHD coach and then after that find a way to afford it.
I have a blessing and a curse in one: masking is my superpower. I mask so well & hide it so well from myself I wasn't diagnosed at all (yet)-& I'm forty-five. I didn't know. Consuming media about autism seemed like an interesting, strangely fascinating subject to explore. I did the tests/quizes. Very high/low scores (much autism). Huh? I watched tons of UA-cam's autistic creators. I read things. I'm #ActuallyAutistic. It just explains EVERYTHING that bothered me by being unexplained in my life. The algorithm recommended to me some videos of autistic creators I can't recall at the moment (oh-like paige layle) & about fourty five minutes into them suddenly my heart skipped a bit, my stomach dived down & I realized w/ complete clarity-I AM AUTISTIC. I was very distressed for a few days while I researched. Let me know if you want to chat/know more.
I’ve just had my diagnosis confirmed yesterday at the age of 43 years old. In one respect I’m massively relieved as I always knew there was something but for many years I couldn’t identify what it was. But on the other hand I’m full of sadness and resentment for what I’ve endured all these years. I always wondered why frustration led me to feel so overwhelmed and mentally unwell yet others could cope with it. I’ve ended up in crisis due to frustration before and I can now identify this as having been meltdowns. There’s just so much to learn. I wish it had of been picked up on earlier.
I was diagnosed with Autism, Level 2 the other day. So happy to have your videos.
Congrats on your diagnosis!! I'm so honored my videos are helpful to you. 💙
Had I been diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome while I was a kid, in the 1970s and 1980s, I probably would not have become an EMT. Sirens have always made me bristle.
Truly I can testify that herbal healing is amazing 😍, my 4 year's old son was diagnosed with autism disorder couldn't sleep at night and don't even respond to people, speech blockage but with Dr Isibor treatment on youtube he can now communicate especially with me and sleep's well at night so much improvement and I'm so grateful to God 🙏 coming across Dr Isibor treatment.
Very relatable in so many ways! Except I grew up with fewer resources and in a chaotic and abusive household. I was called a spoiled brat by my siblings too. Sharing was not something I could not do easily. Most likely have cptsd too. Being punished for things with no direct reason caused me to become smaller, quieter, and keep my needs and feelings to myself. If I was even aware of my needs or was able to express them. Growing up unknowingly autistic is quite a thing to process and wrap my head around.
My therapist and I have come to the conclusion that I'm most likely autistic and it just makes so much sense!! It feels like being given the key that I've been missing all my life.
Its just so validating knowing it wasn't that I was spoiled or sensitive that there's a reason and a lot of people can relate to me. The first thing that clued me in is that I get strong hyper fixations. Then the rest of the puzzle started falling into place.
I have sensory issues which makes it difficult to eat some food (texture issue for me). I also don't do well with loud noises.
I've also had trouble with social ques which sometimes still gets me but I feel I've done a pretty good job of learning them (it's so weird knowing some people are just born understanding them)
It's so nice hearing your story and relating very similarly to it. Makes me feel less alone 😭
Might be forgetting somethings but those are the main gist of what notified me to bring autistic.
I'm 23 but now I feel like I can really start living life and exploring my autism and work with it not against. I'm going back to school for fall and I really hope it might be easier this time around.
You are absolutely not alone! I'm so glad your puzzle is starting to fall into place. I know how incredible that feeling is. Best of luck with going back to school. You should be so proud of yourself for doing so. Many people can't do that (including myself). God Bless 💙
Thank you so much for sharing this. You are helping people ❤
This really relates so much to me and my oldest! Thank you for sharing!
I am learning so much about my granddaughter from your videos! Thank you so much for sharing this information.
Olivia, you are inspiring and amazing, and you are doing incredibly wonderful work!
I'm so glad I found your channel. There's so many things you mentioned that I relate with and now I know even more that I have ASD. It's really hard for me to get diagnosed and I'm almost 33..
Now we know my daughter is autistic (diagnosed at 18) it was soooo obvious with hindsight, if only we'd put all the clues together. All her teachers missed it, as did we - but we only had one other child to compare her to (her brother) and EVERYONE says their kids are completely different. She has always been quiet, has NEVER shouted, screamed or raised her voice as far as we can remember, and only speaks when she needs to. She's super-intelligent (LOVES studying). She has a small group of close friends that have stayed with her since she was 5, is not interested in fashion - just how clothes feel - she hates tights (they are too tight!!). She also spent AGES washing her hands or in the shower because she was just feeling the water. She is happy to hug, but doesn't do kissing - not since she was about 7. We are a small family, and as parents, we had no idea what was 'normal' so we just accepted her exactly as she was. We unconsciously adapted, which also made it harder to spot. I think she's AMAZING - she's done so well with all of this going on under the surface.
I always hate sharing I want to share but I don't like people touching or messing with my stuff
Same.
You are the one that saved me at 55 years old! I discovered by chance your video on UA-cam, somehow it was prompt by the algorithm out of the blue! Thank you Olivia! 🙏
Both crying and laughing watching this because most of these were me to a tee. So validating, thank you. Going to look into a diagnosis in the new year.
I chuckled quite a few times for real for seeing me or my 2 year old daughter with all you've described. Especially the Not wanting to wear pants and the chewing stuff until flavor is out and leaving it on the table 😂 thanks so much for your candid sharing Olivia, it helps to know more of these signs. Especially also with the seemingly insignificant things that currently cause my child to have a meltdown.
Lol! Also on not having what you usually like at a restaurant. This just happened yesterday, unbelievable how that's common too!
Dear Olivia, Thank you SO much for your wonderful videos! I can’t even describe how helpful they are for me!!! I was formally diagnosed with autism two years ago, at the age of 58!!! There are so many things you share that make me say, “Oh WOW! I’m not the only one!” And that really helps me in accepting and embracing my diagnosis. Living so long as an undiagnosed and very heavily masked autistic women has led to a lot of wrestling with autistic imposter syndrome(maybe you could do a video about that?). Your videos help so much.
You mention your special interest in horses when you were a kid. Oh yes. Me too. And yes, not the normal “weird, shy, horse girl”. Nope. Horses were life, then. I also had a huge collection of Breyer horses. They had to be lined up just right. If anyone moved them- I was furious. I ran around with them like I was “riding” them, and yes, I pretended I was a horse, too. A lot.
Just had to reach out and say thank you. God Bless!
Olivia, thank you for this! I am currently 24 and only just now am seeking a diagnosis. I relate to you so much! Like you said, I can't blame my parents for missing the signs. There was and still is not enough information on us. Seeing your videos helps a lot. Thank you :)
I can relate to most of what you stated, it was torture, especially as a kid. My sense of smell is ridiculous, it's like a super power 😂 Thank you for your videos!
I'm so glad to have found your channel. My daughter was diagnosed with the triad (autism, ADHD, anxiety) last year at age 8 and I've found it difficult to find information for girls. Your videos have been really helpful and easily accessible. Thank you!
I love how you explained how you were not just being a brat.
Compassion. Thank you for sharing
Thank you for the video. We just had our 15 year old daughter get diagnosed. I see so much of what you say in her. This helps me figure out her. This also helps us help her.
Thank you so much for this Olivia! My daughter is autistic and I never want her to feel guilty or shamed for her struggles.many people don't understand and think I spoil her and make excuses for her.i just know her, and know she is not trying to give me a hard time. It makes me sad to see her being judged harshly by people who don't understand,she also have severe anxiety and OCD. Thank you again for raising awareness!! God bless!
I could really relate to your restaurant story. I've also been called a "brat" & picky eater but the combination of strong taste & texture aversions (my throat closes up) & interoceptive issues (foods often hurt going through the digestive process), not to mention the lights, noise & crowds can make eating in a restaurant a very stressful experience for people like us!
Thank you for your personal insight into Autism in Girls.
It’s been helpful for me understand the rules of engagement, level of consideration and flexibility I may need when I encounter friends with Autism, whether they realize it or not.
I will keep in mind everyone is individual and so is the Autism they may have.
Your children described mine so closely. Great video 💖
I have old report cards that state in the comments section that I cried a lot and all the time ect ect especially in the early years and now it makes sense to me. Ironically I was talking about that yesterday. Thank you for sharing this with me.
Well said, and I can relate to most everything you said, including being obsessed with horses. 🙂
"It's a physical response" was so clarifying for me! Your meltdown vs tantrum video was so good! After I watched it, I was able to observe my three-year-old niece throw a tantrum, and it was such an aha moment for me. "So it is different from a melt down! I didn't know a tantrum was controllable like that!"
I cannot tell you how validating it is to hear you talk about your autistic experience & to restate over & over that they were never temper tantrums. I would get scolded so badly as a kid for crying, and it was something I could not help. I remember spending so much energy trying to not cry over things, that when something seemingly small would happen, I would burst into tears & then get yelled at for crying over something seemingly small. I’m 27 and I still struggle with this. It’s like spending all this time denying how you feel because it is not socially acceptable & people don’t understand your point of view, I have always felt like a burden. I hated going to movie theaters, carnivals, anything loud. But no, it was just me being “difficult.”
It is really hard now as a 27 year old trying to date to explain to people that I don’t like going to concerts. I don’t like large events that are crowded & loud. I’m super sensitive to sound, smell, light, taste, & the texture of food. Textures of fabrics aren’t as bad for me, but like for example. I have to hold my breath every time I walk into my workplace’s cafeteria to grab my lunch from the fridge because the smells in there are so strong it makes me automatically nauseous. How do you explain that to people? It is really hard.
Just wanted to say thank you for deciding to do these videos. I have learned so much about autism from you. I wanted to point out that you said in one of your other videos that you don't naturally have empathy, but you work at it.....When you said the main reason you are doing the videos is to help other autistic people understand themselves so they don't have to go through what you went through. That sounds like empathy to me! I think you have more than you think you do!!❤❤
A lot of this hits close to home.
A lot of this rings true for me, so much so that it was like I was hearing my own story.. I grew up when autism was rarely heard of, you basically had to be non functional. I'm a picky eater mostly with food texture. I have issues with clothing textures, sound, lights, not so much smell. Flashing lights cause immediate anxiety. I also spent most of my time with adults, when I did have to interact with my age group I steered more toward boys than girls. To this day I either pick friends that are older or younger never my age. I've avoided places that are loud or full of people.I've been known to leave a cart and walk out when the store was too crowded. At my age I suppose it's not very practical to worry about diagnosis but knowing the cause and that I'm not broken just autistic helps. Thanks for the breakdown. Be blessed
My son is 3.5 and I'm 35. I've never been diagnosed but definitely have a lot of traits. It's funny because he struggles in many of the ways you describe, and especially with the speech delays. I speak his language, but it's not English and I never really thought anything of it until I finally got a dr to make the diagnosis. My parents still don't get it but I do, and it's such a difference between the two of us and our relationships.
I’m glad to have found your channel. Wishing UA-cam was around at your age.
@ Olivia Hops -- Great video and incredibly bravery, especially with regards to tantrums vs meltdowns as the social stigma is real! Thanks for sharing!
Curious if you have covered ADHD as a commonly co-occurring / comorbid condition with ASD, and also looked at siblings or other family members (yours or generally) with traits of either or both? Since being recognised as "Possible to co-occur" in 2013 it seems that it is becoming recognised as being frequently intertwined and the genetic basis of both is well established.
I can definitely relate. I'm in my 60s and my autism was missed as well. Even now I can't always feel safe telling people so I have to find other ways of letting them know why there are certain things that really bother me and I can't stand. Some people just don't get it and they think I'm being overly picky, asking too much, or just being a bitch. I am a stickler for things that I eat regularly and if they are out of stock I don't want to give up on getting them someplace else even if it takes several trips to the store. I am homebound due to other health problems so have to get an aid to do shopping for me.
Lately I have also had to reschedule a surgery about 3 times in a row because the facility that does it requires you have someone with you at night after you go home and I have had to fight with my insurance to cover extended hours for an aid since nobody I know will do that for me, and neither side is cooperating. Meanwhile I am miserable from that health condition that is to be fixed, so it is driving me up the wall. All the legwork and red tape is too much for me.
As a child more of my friends were boys, and I liked to hang out with adults. I never really felt like a child and didn't see a distinction. I was kind of opposite of you on dressing though. I hated and still hate wearing skirts or dresses because it makes me feel too naked.
"I liked to hang out with adults. I never really felt like a child and didn't see a distinction. I was kind of opposite of you on dressing though. I hated and still hate wearing skirts or dresses because it makes me feel too naked." --
Likewise!
I've been watching your videos for a few months now up to getting my diagnosis. And for some reason it feels different watching after i finally got diagnosed with Aspergers Syndrome. Like i dont have to fake how much i can relate anymore. Thanks for opening my eyes
Congrats on your diagnosis! I'm so honored my videos could help you. God Bless 💙
100% with you on the sensory issues!! I also use loops and I also relate to being called "spoiled" or just dismissed growing up if I tried to make my sensory needs accommodated. Self diagnosed autistic at 33.
I am 61 now and it was so hard growing up! Now I have CPTSD as well. 😭
Same, Patricia. I'm so sorry you deal with CPTSD, too.
Me also.
Well done Olivia!
Aw thanks so much, Laura! 💙
My son just recently got diagnosed with autism. Thank you for giving me hope that he can love a full and happy life. ❤ The diagnosis weighed heavy on me but after seeing videos like yours, it uplifted my morale. ❤️
Hi there Olivia my name is Michelle and my husband and I have been doing research lately about autism and see that I do have alot of traits you have recently mentioned in your videos this is an answer prayer for us because I have struggled alot throughout my life and not understanding why I act the way I do or cry all of sudden and can't control it and many things you talk about thank you for your videos
Very relatable video! I can understand these things.
I was born with a hive tumor that was invisible until it flared up and made me itch all over, gave me headaches and high fevers. The tumor eventually shrank and bothered me less and less. I still get headaches and itchiness all over but not the fevers anymore.
I also was born with weak eye muscles so I saw double all the time. None of the specialists we saw caught it until I was eight.
I never spoke a word until I was three. Then, I started speaking in full sentences, mostly when I was curious or upset about something.
As you can imagine, these things made me very unpopular and either avoided or teased by other kids. I preferred to be with my grandparents and their friends rather than playing with other kids.
I preferred to be alone and in quiet places. I have always been able to entertain myself and have never been lonely or bored.
I had very intense, deep interests, some of which I still have like space, robots, vehicles, plants, rocks, and music. Star Wars was my favorite movie and really got into it and everything about it because it combined so many of those interests.
I didn't learn that I was autistic until I met my girlfriend through a blind date set up by coworkers 18 years ago. I never dated in high school or college but she and I really hit it off.
She is a special education teacher who specializes in working with autistic kids in elementary grades. It didn't take long for her to realize that I might be autistic and she eventually convinced me to let her coworkers test me. Sure enough, they confirmed that I am high functioning autistic as well as avoidant and mildly myopic.
Looking back on my childhood, this diagnosis makes sense.
Thanks for making these videos and sharing with others what its like to be autistic.
Thank you. You are just like my daughter. She was diagnosed last year at 21. I knew she had a lot of traits of autism growing up, but it was trying to get doctors to listen to me. At the age of 15 my daughter was finally put on a waiting list. Doctors kept saying she was depressed and she argued she wasn’t. There are a lot of people out there that does not understand the conditions and think my daughter is arrogant when she don’t talk to people, but we’re kinda like fuck them as they don’t matter.
One of my pet peeves has always been when people think they know my motivation for something and have no idea! I also am very sensitive to smells and can get migraines and throw up. The essential oils people wear are awful! I hate pants also.
OMG! Essential oils are the absolute WORST!!!!! They are unbearable!!
same here❤
Some essential oils are horrible and some don't bother me. I hate patchouli too.
O wow. you described me in your entire video. Im nearly in tears right now. I also have a huge imagination, have owned a few horses in my life. I used to write on my pencil case " I love horses" when i was younger..I still love horses and my horse only passed on 2 years ago.
My older sister rode my pony when i was 10 and I got so upset I punched a hole in the wall. Sharing wasnt easy. I had an eating disorder from 14 to 17 years old. lost a lot of weight. Super sensitive to my environment and had to wear ear muffs when people snored. Struggle to work from 9 to 5..It never ever worked for me..but currently working part time as a disability support worker where I have helped a few autistic people with their daily living skills as I feel im at home with them...Im 41 now..Never officially diagnosed but now im thinking to get an official test..This is all making sense to me now..I have friends who are older at church....My ex told me I had selective mutism. It drove me crazy when he said such things.
OMG the cigarette smoke thing! A lot of different things you describe (pants, physical contact, etc) don't bother me, but OMG cigarette smoke nauseates me. I can usually smell it before I see anyone smoking, and will sometimes physically recoil from it. The other day even, I was walking into a store and the smoke just *hit* me out of nowhere, and I was confused because there was no one nearby, then I realized a car was sitting at the curb about 30 feet away and thought "is that them?"... it wasn't until I got around to the other side of the car that, sure enough, there was an arm hanging out the window, holding a cigarette.
The nose knows.
And yes, many of the other traits you described fit me too. The food texture thing is a big one, it's why I loathe eggplant despite loving many veggies; it's also why I don't like meat on the bone. Scraping a fork or knife against the bone is bad enough, but especially with bone-in chicken, scraping my teeth against the bone, even inadvertently, is just... *shudders*.
have experienced every section of this video throughout my life and the only people who have ever said i could be autistic are autistic people themselves. it’s so validating to have found this channel and community. i don’t have a diagnosis now, but there is no question that i have it. i just don’t have the resources to receive a diagnosis as of now and that’s the reality for most people, especially girls like us 💔 thank you for making these videos
I'm 37 and just realized I'm autistic. Your stories really helped me cement that I am in fact autistic because I relate *so hard * with them! TYSM! 💜
I was diagnosed with mild Asperger's Syndrome when I was seven, and it certainly helped to answer a few questions. I'd always felt that something was "off" with me, compared to the rest of my peers, and it enabled me to get the resources that I needed.
I'm so glad to hear you were able to get diagnosed at a younger age and were able to get the help you needed. It's my hope that that will happen more and more with young girls!
Can you tell me a bit about yourself and wether you showed “typical” autism signs as child? :) I currently am trying to figure out if I might have mild Asperger’s as well because I currently label myself as HSP (highly sensitive person), relate to almost all the internal and mental signs (e.g. literal way of thinking, overthinking everything and philosophizing, constantly needing to understand why and how things work, honest, naive, often troubles with sarcasm, I stim 24/7, very picky eater, have special interests, avoiding cinemas and loud stressful places, can freak out over tiny things but only internally, am most likely highly intelligent, overthink the potential of just formed new contacts, troubles understanding social and hygiene concepts, troubles sticking to a plan I made and needing support in daily tasks (my mom picks out which clothes I swear, prepares the things I need for a shower, goes shopping for me, explains simple tasks etc), preferring to hang out with adults (i’m so horrible with children) and much much more), often feel like I’m masking (e.g. forcing myself not to talk about only me in conversations, automatically looking at other people when someone says something big to see how they react and then copy these reactions, not talking about my special interests as much as I would like, forcing myself not to say the honest but harsh thing, troubles knowing how much interest is appropriate if you want to befriend someone and when it is too much interest and more), but I haven’t really shown autism signs in childhood and since I internalize all my thoughts and interests and reactions, people don’t really notice a lot (examples of what my classmates noticed: little to no body language, not understanding jokes/getting worried even though something was meant as joke) so I’m not sure if my signs are “severe” enough since I’m really good at socializing (even tho it is very stressful up to even anxious for me) not always very clumsy, can read other peoples feelings depending on the situation and other things. (Though Olivia’s video about traits she doesn’t have has helped a lot! :))
I have thought I have BPD at first bc of my internal freak outs and overwhelms and I’m currently wondering wether I have social anxiety.
Yes I’ve always felt different from others, but not the “from another planet” thing.
(I’m a teenage girl btw)
If you’re willing to tell me a little about how you got diagnosed and what traits you have and which not and if you maybe even have an opinion on wether I’m likely to be autistic or just a highly sensitive person, I’d greatly appreciate it!!
Thanks for mentioning Loops, I will see if my daughter wants to try them.
Truly I can testify that herbal healing is amazing 😍, my 4 year's old son was diagnosed with autism disorder couldn't sleep at night and don't even respond to people, speech blockage but with Dr Isibor treatment on youtube he can now communicate especially with me and sleep's well at night so much improvement and I'm so grateful to God 🙏 coming across Dr Isibor treatment.
Really love them! Wore them last night to my uncle’s birthday party because he was having a live band. Worked great as usual!
Wow. So much stuff I am seeing in the younger me from here at age 51…I am not diagnosed, but things that went on in my life through the years TOTALLY make sense now. 😮. Even my 9th grade English teacher called me Weirdy as a nickname…she was my fave!
FWIW, I scored 39 on the AQ test…
You know what’s the worst, my parents used to put me in timeout when I was having a meltdown… to “think about what I had done” when I didn’t even understand what was happening…
Keep up the good videos, when it feels right for you and maybe without personal locations details.
Wow I related to most of these…was never big into being friends with adults or anything, but this is mind blowing for me. I’m looking to get diagnosed now. Thank you for sharing your experiences, especially with meltdowns.
I am so honored my videos could help you!! Best of luck in your diagnosis journey!! God Bless 💙
I was recently diagnosed myself. (At 38) and listening to this video, was a big eye opener. This is spot on for so many things I struggled with as a child (and still struggle with). The sensory issues are so much more than "it's annoying". It is at times physically painful. Especially sound and smell. (Mainly because those are the 2 senses that are most difficult to avoid.). In terms of the times where things change with scheduling or expectations (like you plan on thst one thing from the menu and it is sold out), the meltdown (as an adult), is like a feeling of a computer crash. And the screen just flashibg "error, error, error" and it takes time to reboot the whole system (i.e. figure out all the things/thoughts/feelings internally). So difficult to explain, but this video does a great job. Thanks Olivia :)
Man your hearing test brought back a memory for me. My mother told me they took me in to have my hearing tested, because I didn't respond. I often get engrossed in a book and blocked out other distractions- I was the quiet kid who could read on a bus full of shouting kids. So they realized it wasn't my hearing. I was just ignoring.
I like watching you because you educate us about autism and I have a niece ‘s son who is autistic. Being more aware means I won’t think he’s bratty or spoiled. Your channel provides a great service to teachers like me, too.👍🏼 Greetings from New York City🗽
Thanks so much for watching my videos and thinking they are educational! That really means a lot. Blessing to you and your family! 💙
I'm ADHD and also had all the signs missed as a child. Looking back it all makes so much sense.
Hi. Thank you for your insight into autism. My granddaughter, who is 11 is just going through the process of being diagnosed with autism. I must admit I was quite shocked. She had no delays as a child. In fact by the time my other grandchild came along when she was 19months she was speaking quite well. By the time she went to nursery at 3 she knew most of her sounds and was beginning to read. She did have trouble settling but that was put down to her being about the youngest in the class and being extremely shy. It seems now she is getting older that there are tell tale signs of autism. She lines her cuddly toys up. Nobody is allowed to touch them. She has melt down when the class is being told off. Can’t stand loud noises.. she gets obsessed about what she s doing.
I was considered a Tom Boy and loved playing by myself. I remember not being able to wear corduroy. Eek! Lol😂. I still enjoy a lot of alone time. I love your content. Have you done a video on ASD and gut issues? Im also undiagnosed but I know I am autistic. Doctors have misdiagnosed me one too many times. They are not reliable and helpful. I have always fallen between the cracks. So I am just learning on my own how to accept and deal with my special ways. ❤ and OMG I was OBSESSED with horses 🐎!!!!
Omg I relate Soo much! I'm 12 and I got diagnosed with ASD at 10 years old. Just watching this video and listening to you tell brings back sooo much memories especially with sensory stuff! I LOVE watching fireworks but I HAVE to have headphones on or when multiple people I talking to me at once I can't handle it at all! I am gluten free and lactose free but we didn't find out until I was 4 years old so I would get bloated a lot meaning I couldn't have ANYTHING tight on my stomach! When I was younger I would NEVER put on socks and I would go bare foot everywhere and just putting on socks to go to school was extremely tough! I watched the discontinued vid before this one and I can relate so much! There was this one store where I got all my socks from and they were the only socks I would ever wear but the store shut down 4-5 years ago so I have had to learn how to use normal socks and man was it hard! Christmas just went by a like most families do we had roast for dinner and my dad said that I had to eat at least 1 piece of pumpkin if I wanted to eat dessert but as I was eating it I literally gagged and couldn't swallow it just because of the texture! Or even that I have to have a fidget with me every second of every day! It's really annoying and when I forget a fidget at home and we r going out I will have a meltdown and then I'll find something on the floor and start fidgeting with it! When in class and we r taking a test my teacher says that it is going to be completely silent but I still ask to put I headphones on because I can hear the air-conditioning or the wind outside or the kids playing on the playground or the teacher next door! It really does suck but I know I'm not the only one but sometimes it does feel like that! Thank you sooo much for filming these videos! It helps soooo many austic people around the world and I can see that it make you happy too! So keep on keeping on! Have a great day!🥰
Sorry there is a couple of mistakes in there! I was typing quick and I'm not a great speller and I meant to right autistic not austic sorry lol
I’ve tried twice to have my daughter diagnosed and told that she is fine, she’s just shy or she will grow out of it, she can’t have anxiety or depression she’s not old enough! She’s now 15 and home schooled due to anxiety stress bullying and a lot more reasons, some of which you have mentioned above. She has a lot of cousins but she can’t be with them when there’s more than one she’s just with me or her aunts. Just listening to you it’s like your talking about her. I wish someone would listen to me, it’s so hard that people even family don’t understand. Her anxiety is still out of this world.
My granddaughter has ASD and I'm betting that one of her girls is too. That makes 3 of us. My sister called me a dumbbell all the time. She would yell at me at the dinner table. I really couldn't do anything right. Not even in school.
when i was a kid, other kids seemed to me like physically over-developed toddlers. now that i'm an adult, many adults are like children to me, and not in the cute "i wanna discover the world and enjoy myself" kinda way, but rather.... helpless and clueless?.. i swear i'm not arrogant, i can criticise the hell out of myself too. and i am also helpless and clueless but in different things - in those smalltalk-like social interactions.
11 year old me making color coded spread sheets for my birthday... Parents though it was weird but I got exactly what I wanted and it was great!
64 and recently diagnosed adhd and autistic.
I have a couple of comments. First if all, thank you so much for talking about your Autistic sense of smell being one of the most debilitating parts of your Autism. It's definitely the same way for me. Most people don't get it. It's also very overlooked, and as an Autistic person I'm definitely sick and tired of other people blaming me for it and not understanding that my Autistic reaction is involuntary. But, second, I can't agree that other people's lack of knowledge about being Autistic is at all justifiable in any way in the early 1990s. I was the victim of a malpracticing UC Davis psychiatrist hired by the State Bar of California who couldn't identify all the signs I'm Autistic in the early 1990s. I'm sorry, but I don't buy into the excuse with all the credentials that psychiatrist had that he missed my being Autistic ! There were no jusitifications or excuses for him - he malpracticed pure and simple. Now, if you're talking about some other family members, that's a little bit different than a medical doctor ! It was his JOB to identify if I was Autistic. Enough was already known in the early 1990s about being Autistic for a trained professional to recognize it.
When you said you had so many Breyer horses, mt jaw literally dropped because that's EXACTLY what I did when I was younger. I had a ton of Breyer horses that I would set up jumping courses for and would play for hours with them and it was just thought of as "Wow she's super into horses! And aren't we lucky as parents to have a kid who can keep herself entertained for so long?" 😂
I despise tight clothing and waist bands. I wish pants could stay on magically without any pressure. Lol
Lol!! I'd have to agree with that wish!
Suspenders may help. I can’t stand halter tops around my neck but light suspenders hanging from my shoulders are usually pretty good as long as they don’t fall off my shoulders and trap my arms.
Ok but the whole, hang with adults or males my age... Hit spot on 🎯 that was me as a child...
I love your videos. We are twins in a lot of ways (except looks). Haha.
Pretty Lady!
"she's just the shy weird horse girl" ha, the story of my life
I too was incredibly shy as a child to the point of being backwards. Quiet. (Please don't look at me or call on me in class even if I knew the answer). I wouldn't have the tantrums though. But I too loved LOVED horses. Real or toy model horses. I had a lot of them, over 20. I had the saddles and bridles, the wooden stable the blankets and I could play alone and be happy!! I was socially awkward but thank God above I made it through. I have never been diagnosed with autism but my oldest son is high functioning. And my late sister was autistic in my opinion, she rocked her whole life and when she was a baby she bumped her head constantly on the crib, she never could hold down a job or stick with her family. She married and had children but couldn't handle the responsibility.
Hahaha I still have a few Bryer horses
I think you can say that the meltdowns are the brains inability to handle frustration, often not knowing what frustrates you.
I remember playing on the edge of the playground by myself with my stablemates (not sure why I had them at school )