For sure, man. I've been with a girl for 2 years, journaled and analyzed those red flags, only to realize that she has 6 out of 9 of those, the only exception being promiscuity and alcohol/drugs.
I dated a girl for a few months. She couldn't stop taking pictures of my house (I live with my parent's ofc), of my car (my dad's but I use it a lot)... every time I was out with her, everything had to be on her social media, we went to a festival and she couldn't go 5 minutes without filming everything. At first, I just thought it was part of her personality but she literally lived for social media. I should have walked away way earlier than I did. If something seems off, it probably is. Don't try to justify bad behaviour because you like them. Walk away and move onto the next.
@@bentrayn Nah she wasn’t, she was just one of those people who just feels the need to film and record everything, if I knew she had a content creation channel or something I would have understood but she just had an obsession with filming and posting things
Ah yes saw those peoples everywhere taking picture of everything usually when I go out to do something really fun and enjoyable I hated taking photos I rather live in the moment
You shouldn’t have to put up with the blatant toxic narcissism of social-media obsessed chicks bruh. Nobody should have to put up with that shit. I truly believe social media was a mistake.
Me and my girlfriend watch your videos together and it's such a wholesome feeling being able to talk about how far we've come from how we were before we started dating as individuals and where we are now as one.
Make sure to keep some kind of mystery of yourself as a man, if you are both sharing literally everything together, and all your problems and issues in life, she will lose attraction for you.
That social media stuff is true. It's not just GFs, but also friends on so on. I hate it when I'm talking to a person and that person is looking at his/her phone. I once just walked away from the table and the social media addict then complained about why I walked away. I replied, "So, how long did it take for you to notice I walked away?" The embarrassment was real.
1. She doesn´t beleave in your work | 0:55 2. Your partner being addicted to social media | 1:26 3. She´s not grateful | 4:41 4. When a girl has colorful hair and lots of piercings | 5:47 5. Promiscuity & the sexual history | 7:44 6. She has promiscuous friends | 10:16 7. She drinks & does drugs | 13:04 8. She has a bad relationship with her parents (especially father) | 15:51 9. She´s a bit of a loser | 18:25
I put my girl through self-improvement and it made our relationship healthier. I’m glad she was open-minded about everything because otherwise me and her wouldn’t have made it through the year we have spent together. Firstly, I want to say though, don’t be close-minded with relationships if you are on self-improvement, I was like this for so long and I kept saying I want breaks and all that other bullshit, be open-minded but also stay aware of you and her. I’m glad I changed and she did too because the influence she had of me carried to her and we are both very similar now, telling me to keep going with my work or convincing me to do shit when I feel unmotivated to do something, me and her have changed and are still changing into better people. Anyway I got to finish homework. I love her so much and I am marrying her as soon as I get a house with her. Edit : If you do have a girlfriend and she has one or two of these red flags just understand a person can change like the way you have transformed/transforming with self-improvement. Also, thank you to the supportive Adonis’ in the replies of this comment.
I dated a girl before who had these red flags. The thing is, I already knew about these red flags, i'm just ignoring it thinking she is different, she's the one. It led me to a 2-year hell. Not only the relationship was hell, but it was also bleeding into other areas of my life. Dumbest decision of my life. It was when I had the courage to broke up with her, I discovered Hamza and had hope that I can change for the better. Hamza insipred me to become the best that I can be.
That is a big mistake unexperienced guys fell in, like " oh no she is special", " its more complicated than you think" and etc, don't worry bro, its good that you decided to share. You will find someone more appropriate for your value eventually
fuck dude fuck please im 16 almost 17 and have a girlfriend right now. If anyone reads this please help me i need advice. We have dated for a bit more than a year now but its been hell. Before she dated me she dated a guy who was a gun and drug dealer. She did drugs but quit, now shes religious. Thing is, she cheated on me. I kinda knew it so i cheated on her as well, but it was nowhere as bad. Anyways, now we are kind of good but i think shes cheating on me again. dude i dont know i just have this feeling she is special but what if shes still on the same shit? my feelings are all over the place and i cant help but think im wasting my time with her
@@glorihol6803 if she's still on the same shit just leave her dude you'd be way better off without that dead weight on your back You'll have to move past your feelings too if you have any for her at this point Give her a talk if you want but do not expect it to go well when you do cause if she's cheating again she'll likely get defensive and start berating you Happened to me too brother good luck
Hamza, the last point is golden. I'm 27 and have been on the 'self improvement' journey for the last 8 years. I'm at a point in life where I have a great job, top 5% physique, huge social circle, close friends I can depend on, and it has made dating SO much harder. My access to women is the best it has ever been, (and only seems to be getting better), but holy s*** are there a lot of jessica's out there! It's gotten to the point where I'm not even really attracted to a girl until I can see they have drive themselves - glad it is something you are guiding other guys to avoid!
@@mincarve7697 Thanks for the reply. Around how long did you begin to see good changes in your physique from when you started within the year? A month? 2 months? 3 months? 6 months?
I dated a girl at university this year for a couple of months (Feb. 2022 - June 2022). I will NEVER regret leaving her. I met her at the church on the school campus and, although we had the same religious and political values, we had nothing else in common. She was fat, like morbidly obese fat, had fat parents, and had no hobbies besides using social media and watching Netflix. She couldn’t care less about learning new skills or any philosophical ideas I would bring up (I want to be a nurse but I still love philosophy and history). When we “hung out”, we basically walked around stores all day buying random crap and junk food. She would also BEGGED to hang out with me every day. Every time I tried to tell her that we should take some days off she would always get angry and claim “why don’t you wanna hang out with me? Don’t you love me,” in which I would become a submissive Jeffery and follow her every whim. Her family as a whole were a bunch of losers who were middle class but not ambitious about anything. I think they saw I came from money as I come from a middle to upper class lifestyle. She lived near where the university was located and brainwashed me into not wanting to leave her. Being the SIMP I was, I stayed at an apartment near the university. Thankfully, my parents came up to my apartment to save me from what was going on, even though I rebelled against them a little bit because of being brainwashed by my girlfriend. After they came up though, I left the apartment, that university, and that city completely to go back to my hometown to live with my parents. I now go to the university in my hometown studying to become a nurse. I live with my parents who I love, have started weightlifting and cardio so I can attract better looking and mentally healthier girls, and have come back to a lot of my hobbies I abandoned when I was dating my ex-girlfriend. I discovered Hamza in August 2022. As a person who already enjoyed self-improvement and loved men like Jordan Peterson already, Hamza was a perfect addition. Hamza helped me realised that physical attractiveness is very important and that, even though you may have a great personality, your body is just as important. I now wake up every morning at 5:00 AM, eat oatmeal, go to the gym, do weight training, ab exercises, and run a mile as fast as I can. I go every day (except for Sunday. I’m religious remember :P) and have gone from doing 15 lbs on bicep curls to 25 lbs on them. I have also gone from 45 lbs on bench press to 100 lbs. (I’m 5’7 and weight 135 lbs). I have also been able to cut my one mile running time from 14 minutes to 10 minutes. This is a side note but I think is still very good encouragement. I was born with half a heart (Hypoplastic Left-Heart Syndrome is the actual medical term) and have still been able to accomplish all of this in the span of only 4 months. The oldest survivor with my condition is only in their early 40s and babies still die from this heart defect all around the world today. All that to say, don’t make excuses, anything is possible!
I study medicine, I do self-improvement - staying disciplined, studying, working out, taking care of my hygiene. I want to show you respect for doing everything you can to improve and live a good life, while having that condition. I wish you a long and fulfilled life! Stay strong!
Zed my man. you're awesome. keep it up! way to go King! your story is awesome and a very common mistake many of us do. never settle! there's always something better out there!
Good stuff man. Hopefully with all the good habits you've added to your life you'll be able to live into your 40s or longer. Life is too short to not see what you're capable of.
@@giannisarcho2940 Exactly! I have raised my standards for girls way higher. That girl I was talking about is STILL obese last time I checked her social media, so she obviously is not trying to self-improve and didn't learn anything from the relationship. She is also still working a shitty minimum wage job to help pay for school because she was in a lot of debt coming from out of state to my state. (I don't have any debt because of scholarships and my parents are good at managing money lol). I deleted her number from my phone last month, but before I did, I sent her a picture of me flexing my muscles and said "I win." I don't use any social media besides UA-cam, but I checked my Instagram after this text, and she blocked me after I texted her that flexing picture. I just smiled and laughed.
After all this, yes this has all happened to me in 2022, (I'm 20), I finally asked out a girl from my high school who I have ACTUALLY wanted to date for a very long time. She sadly said "no" when I asked her. However, for the first time in my entire life of asking girls out, (I have asked 5 girls out in my life so far) I wasn't devastated or sad. I was just happy to finally admit my feelings to her, get it off my chest, and now I can move onto the next girl I would like to date. I know my values and what I stand for. If a girl doesn't want that, then I'll let them go. I know that I’m amazing, and any girl who doesn’t want to date me is missing out on an amazing future husband.
Life is so much more FREEING when you stop being a Jeffery! Most women are Jessica's. Adonis doesn't date Jessica's, so why should I?
@@bill5563 yeah bro depending on how bad it was the relationship could be doomed to fail. either she'll struggle to pair bond or significantly increase the chances of cheating.
@@bill5563 I mean if you know for a fact that she turned her life around then it should be all good, but I wouldn't trust her blindly. As that other guy said it increases her likelihood of cheating.
@@Ivan-eo8du My godparents who are in their 50s recently got a divorce. My godmothers reasoning being that she wants to live her life. She ws young and a virgin when she married him. This sort of thing can happen either way
My biggest W so far in life is meeting a woman who is ambitioned but also feminine. She wants to achieve the possibility of a great career but keeps telling me her absolute goal is not having to work. That is pushing me really hard. She also keeps me hella accountable on self improvement and our relationship is slowly but surely moving into a perfect, more polarized relationship as my growth has exploded. Btw we are both 21 and in this together, so you can do it too!
that's awesome to hear, i had felt in love twice with woman like that but they just friendzoned me so I started to think that the problem is liking the "masculine" drive of actually having a pourpose on her lives. But maybe having a direction doesn't mean they aint femenine. How is the relationship going??
I think context is key......some people are unfortunate and born into troubled households, but that doesn't mean a man or woman is immediately "broken" or a red flag. There is such a thing as therapy and self-improvement. I think that's the real red flag, is if someone doesn't actively try to improve themselves. Shit happens to all of us but if you don't try to heal your own trauma as well as generational trauma then you're not worth it.
Wow, I can 100% relate to #5. Got my first serious girlfriend being 19 years old, me still a virgin, her not. Wasn't a big deal until she told me she lost her virginity to her best friend out of curiosity and they did hook up multiple times just for the "physical pleasure". Actually broke my heart because i waited for 19 years to meet someone (i thought at that time) special. Never looked at her the same way. Always thought this was about me being insecure. 7 years later i know i doged a bullet there. Self improvement and patience are the only way to go. Absolutely love this video Hamza.
Same, my ex have similar history and I used to have such terrible mental health because I can never stop imagining her getting railed by the guys she mentioned to me. I rarely slept well because I often dreamt about her getting railed by that guy over and over again. I broke up with her and it was the best decision I have ever made.
I had similar story with my first girlfriend, 18-19 years old virgin that met a "perfect" girl. Now, 3 years later I know that it was a big mistake and learned a lot from that :)
@@mohdzakibagali4351 Bro it depends, here’s my opinion, if she only has had one/two boyfriends maybe it’s ok, just focused on the present man, she may has had sex with other guys but obviously you weren’t in her life, so you can work on it, but if she has like a strong sexual past, sleeping with lot of guys, casual sex and you can’t stop thinking about that, I think you should leave that relationship bro, stay if you feel comfortable
TIMESTAMPS AND SUMMARY: 0:55 RF#1: She doesn´t believe in your work 1:26 RF#2: She's addicted to social media (1+ hrs a day on TikTok) 4:41 RF#3: She´s not grateful (and is entitled) - so it'll be more difficult to praise her 5:47 RF#4: She has colorful hair and lots of piercings (higher chance she's promiscuous) 7:44 RF#5: She's promiscuous and has hooked up before (non-wholesome vibes, might not take you seriously) 10:16 RF#6: She has promiscuous friends (who'll reinforce her bad habits) 13:04 RF#7: She drinks & does drugs (and therefore doesn't have her priorities straight) 15:51 RF#8: She has a bad relationship with her parents (especially father) - meaning you'll have to deal with her baggage if she doesn't want to address it herself 18:25 RF#9: She´s a bit of a loser (she won't 1+1=3 your life, but rather bring you down to her level).
11:11 Quite Frankly one of my friends was a massive Jeffery, but I slowly got into the good habits, I started reading lifting consistently, and invited my friend to the gym. When he came with me he didn't want to be there but he stuck around, and now as I'm typing this suffering from over training, I wake up to a text of him letting me know he went to the gym and that gave me motivation to keep on going even after I had a injury. I try to be the best person I can at the best of my ability and will follow in your footsteps too, even if I set some others along the way. Thank you hamza
This is one of the most important videos made in our time and age. Thank you, Hamza for having the strength to say these things out loud. I really love to see that there is someone with a vast amount of listeners out there who is speaking about these issues without trying to sugarcoat the message.
My Ex, had all of these red flags, and people that knew her, even my friends, tried to tell me, but I ignored it all, got a place with her after six months, because she got evicted from her prior apartment for having too many pets. I went along with all her bad decisions, and it was ruining my life, my worst physical and mental state I’ve ever been in. Once I woke up, broke up, all I wanted to do was improve my self, thanks Hamza for helping me with that, wish I had this video earlier, maybe I wouldn’t have dated her in the first place.. then again it’s good experience for knowing what I don’t want in a partner.
I had all these red flags in my past relationship but I still accepted her and wanted her to be forever mine(she dumped me months back). Now I'm working on myself and giving my best to improve 🙌. We are gonna make it brah.
It is more like she was lucky to have you, it is good that she dumped you so that you can work on yourself and find a girl who will actually appreciate you.
Always trust your gut feeling, that's something I'll instill in my son. My brain wants to come up with excuses but the gut always knows what's up for some reason
i chose to ignore 2 of these red flags and got cheated on in two different occasions after a full year of effort to "try and help her" get rid of her bad habits. people don't want to be helped, they are aware of what they are doing and they will stay true to themselves.
I just got cheated on 1.5 months ago and looking back, she had #2, #3, #6, #7, #8, #9. 5 years down the drain. Maybe it’s for the better at this point.
i’m a girl, and i’m watching this to improve myself, this video really explained what i shouldn’t do in a relationship and avoid these things. thank you 🙏🏼
I can say from my own personal experience that following these rules is a MUST for young men who are on self improvement. And do not believe for a second you can ignore these because your girl is "special".
@@penguinlord-yt9xc so from my understanding, I would agree with the people above, but that also doesn't mean you're wrong. It may be a healthy relationship currently, but usually it'll lead on to become a bad one. I'll try explain what I mean, it's human nature to always want more. For example let's say we were alcoholics and we always drank the same amount, we eventually will get used to that amount. And then we start looking for the next big kick. Same applies to our dopamine levels. So if that person you're dating is not realising it or does not love/respects themselves enough to detox even with your advice, then typically that habit of wanting more will ruin a relationship and themselves. Wanting more is not a bad thing, it's just were you apply it. Example Person A: just wants more dopamine levels from doing nothing and just watching yt shorts Person B: wants more dopamine from self improvement B is getting more than dopamine itself, they're also growing and learning compared to A. I hope that explains the gist of it.
I love your outlook on social media. Gentlemen if you’re considering deleting it, GET IT DONE. Since deleting it every aspect of my life has improved tenfold. The UA-cam popped off, no distractions, no time wasting, no comparisons, fully focused on my craft and being present.
Perfect timing on this video. I’ve been single for 3 years and focused solely on my college career and now I’m going to the best hospital in the US for an internship for a field that is in high demand. I recently met a girl from my hometown who checks all the right boxes and these red flags definitely made it clear to me that she’s a keeper. Thanks Hamza 🙏
I'm young and don't need to worry about dating but the many girls I've dated in my life have had many of these red flags. At first I thought I was the problem but many of them were the problem that I can see now. But ever since i've been watching your videos seriously, my life has never been so much happier.
@@mies626’ make mistakes’ what stupid advice.Just cuz ur life is shit and and u regret how u wasted ur youth doesn’t mean u should encourage someone else to live ur shit medicore life
Especially girls from Western Europe and the US are like this. I live in Czech Republic and it’s completely different and girls have a very active lifestyle, full of sport, hobbies and activities like reading books and learning languages. I am from Italy and in there girls are just entitled and what they do with their free time? Nothing special really, most of the interesting things they do in their life is travelling and go places at the expenses of their boyfriends who lives with his parents and on their financial support. They are red flags and not interesting at all. Many things they can do I can do as well but on top of that I can do many other things. Of course not all of them are like this but probably because of a mixture of factors (Catholicism, US culture, conservative and maschilist way of thinking when it’s up to families and feminism) many girls have a f****d up mind and act like they deserve the best guy in social media while they are completely useless and helpless and just barely nice looking due to heavy make up.
I like how extreme you’re about social media and you’re completely right I noticed my own self become much better mood and notices the world around me more when I deleted all social media apps except Whatsapp and UA-cam and I rarely use them
Thank you for this video Hamza. My ex broke up with me a few days ago, she said she couldn't do a relationship right now. It hurt, but she very much had the last bad habit. She would stay up late, sleep till 2 pm, go to work, and then just eat junk food and play video games all night. I've been doing self improvement for a few months now, and whenever we hung out, it never felt that good because I was doing the same things she was. Thank you for making this video, really will help me evaluate future partners
I feel you bro, I am currently going through the exact same thing. My ex of three years broke up with me because I really got into self improvement and wanted to get rid of my bad habits while she wanted to continue to go partying and doing a lot of unhealthy stuff which I didnt want to share with her anymore. It hurts, but stay strong!
@@AS-ie6id she knew I went to the gym, she didn't. I even tried to help her get into exercising. She also knew I liked to eat clean, and she didn't really. I would also encourage her to eat clean, at least a little. Maybe you're right, if so, it's a good thing it's over
I dated a girl for 4 years and she had almost every red flags in this video. She doesn’t believed in my work, was addicted to social media, wasn’t grateful and was a completly looser when i look backward at my relationship with her. Of course in the begining i didn’t realised it and it was not as bad it was in the later part of our relationship but it get worse with the time. I already was trying to improve my self and really tried to help her with her life as well but it completly f*cked up my mental health to a point that i gained 10kg of fat in one year cause of binge eating. This girl eventually left me for an other guy but she came back few months later, realising all i was doing for her. Hopefully i moved on realising how toxic my relationship with her was and never came back with her. I continued my self improvement journey, quit smoking, stopped binge eating cause my mental health started improoving, restarted training. Few months later i met a girl who is a total green flag and helped me even more to improove my mental health. We both support each other and it feels great to be in such a non-toxic relationship. I wanted to share my story with you to share this message : Don’t f*ck up your mental health trying to help someone kings. It doesn’t worth it
i agree with most of the video but a point i do want to make is that not every girl you’ll met is going to be perfect. you really have to find the one girl that is the most open minded and will allow you to help her as she will help you too. if you like a girl you eventually build her up to delete social media like how i did with mine. My partner isn’t fully invested into self improvement as i am but she is slowly getting there. So i guess the question you have to ask yourself is, which girl is worth to invest in and building upon with?
@@theshanepig depends on what you believe in man. We all change like every 6 months we see things differently as we get older. I’ve witnessed it with time people do change and if you’re trying to make your girl better it all hast to start with you and have strict discipline and she will eventually follow you with due time
@@Alan27277 I can respect that. I've tried to help her improve and I've invested over 3 years into her. All the while going through a massive self improvement transformation myself and changing everything about my life. She kind of went around in a circle and hasn't changed much at all. She can't keep habits and her whole friend group are all subpar at best in terms of habits and improvement. I really have wanted to believe she would change when given the example and years of a chance but at some point we're becoming such different people we can't relate very well anymore.
lemme tell as a Muslim guy those females are becoming more feminazis and cheaters, and I'm sure u don't want to deal with a feminist bitch, and they're hella HELLA addicted to social media
A woman having a promiscuous sexual past is definitely the most important. there’s been studies that show that after about 5 bodies she significantly loses her ability to pair bond with a mate and after 10 she basically can’t anymore, and will be very likely to cheat/divorce. Women very much should be shamed and called a bad person for engaging in that behaviour it’s disgusting.
Bro who cares about the studies and all like if you dislike or feel disgust from particular behavior than it is a big enough reason to not get with someone or just break up you should listen more to yourself (logically not emotionally)than some studies that tell you how you should feel
The key to Divine love I’m learning is letting them go and trusting yourself. Voice your concern and don’t stop them. If your partner wants to go to the bar or whatever social gathering you have to trust yourself in knowing that there’s a possibility they could make a mistake. When you allow someone the chance to make a mistake you give them an opportunity to learn wether or not the relationship ends. We’re all humans and every single one of us man or woman has our own unique and individual life path.
Hi Hamza, you've mentioned several times that a girls relationship with her father is extremely important and that if her father isn't around or that she doesn't have a good relationship with her father it's a huge red flag. But Hamza, I grew up without a father. I grew up without knowing what a healthy relationship between a husband and a wife looks like. What am I supposed to do? Am I a red flag too? I'm not hating or anything but I have a genuine question. Be it a young man like me or a girl how do we find our ways to happiness? Will we ever? If someone else is reading this and has something interesting to say please do I'm always searching for answers.
Hey man,I had (still have from time to time) a similar question since my family enviroment too wasnt the best, to the point where i thought too if i would end up as my parents,always arguing,not helping or listening to each other,always talking about divorcing and weak threats,etc. After a lot of thinking and through experiences with people and love (good and bad) I realised that realising that you may end up like your parents when you dont want to do since you want to be better is the first step towards becoming better. If you get into a relationship with a girl and yshe has a similar problem and thought.....well, just talk bout it. Be open with them and let them open,seek help from someone professional,ask your friends their opinion (if you think they can give a decent opinion anyway). Even if you aint on a relationship,you should go and seek help,from a pro, a good friend or both, and see if you've found any way to combat that bad future that could happen. And,of course, always remember who you are and what you want to be....someone who doesnt try to change things,makes things worse,shouts etc....or someone who listens and wants to help and uplift those who he/she cares about and trys his/her best to be their best self. Sorry if it ended long btw but i'd like to hope that my words will give you some insight or help you,even a bit. Good day my friend and good luck to your journey.
Be stoic Learn how to fight Keep a sharp mind and a sharp body Master your craft Do what needs to be done, not what you want to do Those are the only values you should have as a real man
You're not a red flag my friend. It's good that you're watching Hamza because he teaches things a father should teach their child. The key is to educate yourself on healthy relationships and to be the best man you can be. Take care
He's just saying in general a person being from a broken home is a red flag. But not everyone from a broken home is a fuck-up, just like not everyone from a good family is a good person. But this is just a statistical trend.
I like that Hamza brings up at certain points how others will try and convince you to change your values (insecure, controlling, misogynist, etc). Let them think whatever they want but if you have come to a standard either through experience, or gut feeling, or thought, then don't listen to these people. If you are trying to find a partner for the rest of your life, to have children with, then who cares what anyone else thinks - they don't have to live with the standards that they try and put onto you, its only you. I was recently having an informal discussion with one of my friends and I mentioned that if I ever have children, they won't be allowed to go crazy with social media. He was taken aback by this and through his tone seemed to think that I was crazy. We had a back and forth about it where I justified why I came to that conclusion and he gave arguments for why he thinks that approach is wrong. I respect his opinion as my friend, but my reasoning trumped his (to me at least), so I kept that value.
This is based, however I'm just wondering if the promiscuous sexual history can also make the guy a red flag towards the girl. Cuz for example Hamza talks about how he used to hook up with girls, but wouldn't that make his girlfriend repulsed?
I'm a girl and I totaly agree with you.....IF the guy doesn't have theas red flags to. For example: if you spend 4 hours a day on tiktok and post photo's on you instagram acount, you can't ask me to don't have an acount of instagram and don't use tiktok. If the guy doesn't spend much time on his phone and he ask me to don't do it either, I will do as he say. But I imagen that was clear from the beginning, anyway, good video man and sorry for bad english
Things I like about Hamza part ?? - He's not afraid to discuss the most controversial topics, even if it regards the truth. Modern day "self-improvement" channels give us only a general understanding of a complicated topic while trying to stay politically correct for the fear of "being cancelled" or not getting enough views, but fellow bro Hamza is out here speaking to us one on one, and giving us the cold hard truth from experience. Thanks for keeping it real :)
Everyone needs to listen to this video, I blindly ignored these red flags in one of my exes and it completely ruined me as a person. Now that I have upped my standards and myself as a person, my life has never been better. Remember your life can be significantly improved if you make the quality of the people around you better.
In my freshman year of high school, I was dating a girl who had somewhat of a body count. Some of them being consensual, and others not, unfortunately. She had rumors that followed her, and emotional trauma that she cast on me unintentionally. My mistake in all of this was staying with her for as long as I did after knowing the issues she had (that she also admitted to not having recovered from). Soon enough, her problems started to become mine, and I was miserable in the relationship. I still feel sorry for her to this day, although I will remember to sever ties when it's needed next time.
My gf broke up with me the other day after 6 months. She said that she wasn't ready for a relationship now, because she needs alone time and that she needed to look out for and work on herself after starting her new job. (We hung out twice a week usually, mainly a sleepover on a weekend, with one weekend a month we wouldn't see each other. So like 6 days per monthish. We were also an hour and a half drive from each other.) She also said I was the kindest boyfriend she's ever had, all her family and friends said how nice I was and how much they liked me compared to her other bf's. I was giving 100% and she wasn't, it was a one sided relationship and she acknowledged it. But in the end she needed all this alone time and didn't want to make any compromises and I was the one making all the compromises. She said that it isn't fair to me, and basically broke up with me saying the it's not you it's me line. I keep telling myself if she wanted us to work out then she would have put the effort in on her end so we could have worked through it. The thing is all the time we spent together when we were together in person was just amazing, always laughing together and having fun. She had the best personality of anyone I've ever known, super funny, and just really easy to talk to and get along with. But when we weren't together, communication started to become an issue after starting her job. It's sad because I lost my best friend. I'm still a bit sad and getting over it, but she had a promiscuous past as well. We're both 28, and I was a bit jealous or mindful about her past too, she had like 25+, a few relationships and the rest ONS, and I only really had her. (I tried a ONS but wasn't that comfortable with the idea.) Her and I barely did it as much as she said she used to, due to some medical problems from recent years. Maybe two to three times a month on average with me as opposed to wanting it nearly every day like she said she used to. I definitely thought of her past a few times while we were together and a story she told me about being with a guy nearly every night in college after a breakup. I brought it up with her once or twice that I wasn't feeling satisfied in that area. She didn't want to compromise at all on that end, and I don't blame her for not wanting to, but then I would think back to when she would do it with other random guys just like that, but not with me. So either way, it didn't feel good. A promiscuous past is definitely something to be mindful of, whether we want to admit it or not. Hell I wish I could see past it and get over it, and I tried to the times I thought of it. Like Hamza said, the relationships didn't bother me as much as the ONS's. Even though it's part of the past, we still think about it here and there, at least I did. She brought that up as well, and said that she's with me and not them. In the end though, she must not have loved me as much as I loved her. Could be that it was bad timing, or that it's a promiscuous past, but definitely seems like the more partners someone has the less reciprocated the relationship will be.
10:16 , I preach this point so much, her friends are usually a big influence on her and her personality and her friends could one day convince her to do something and it will fuck everything up.
This is true. I was with my ex for about a year when my ex’s best friend (as we went into our freshman year of college) started bad-talking me any time I had a disagreement. My perspective wasn’t considered, and she just didn’t like me because I’m naturally more reserved and introverted while she’s the opposite. Over the course of freshman year my ex would tell me things that her friend didn’t like about me (triangulation) to point out my faults, and it really wore on me. We broke up by the end of the year. I’m relieved to not have to worry about that anymore since I’m single and plan to be for a while. It’s crazy to me how something that seemed to be so important in my life ended up being just a mere lesson that I’ll hopefully be able to tell my kids about someday.
One thing I feel different is that one of the best indicators is how a girl/lady is with her mother, not her father. Because they inherit feminine energy from their moms, the same way men inherit masculine energy from their dads. I feel the most sacred/real relationships, ideally are Mother-Daughter and Father-Son. Because a mother is usually very overprotective of their sons and a father is usually very overprotective of their daughter, so, I'm going to be blunt, there is more pampering and less learning in general.
I could relate so much to your story about sexual history. My 1st Girlfriend was a lot older than me, about 10 years older. I completely understand that she's had many boyfriends before and of course she's had sex with them and that's alright with me. But what really broke me is after our 1st year of being together, this guy friend of her that i had been suspecting for a year... She finally admitted that she's actually been having sex with him when she was still with her Ex-Boyfriend and she also admitted of having sex with 5+ more dudes that's also just "her friends" Man i trusted her and that "guy bestfriend" of her for an entire year that there's nothing to them 🤣 But yeah, like you said... I never looked at her the same way again even if i try to forget about it. It's quite traumatizing, the thoughts, the imaginations that would get in my head every time I remember. It's about trust. Not insecurity.
@@MattGarcyaDC i know, I've always liked women that are atleast 5yrs older than me. I find them to have a similar level of maturity as i do, unlike the ones at my age.
Red Flag #5 YES YES, I relate A LOT, I really don't get why either, but for some reason, if the woman that you're dating fucked "x" amount of guys, it hurts, and If she had idk, 3 boyfriends it's ok. I really don't get it but when you said it I was like "YES, YES, EXACTLY"
@@bill5563 nope, it's not a rule or anything like that, it's just like... A sign, maybe she has changed, or maybe that's not even a problem, it's just something in your mind, as I said, it's something that at least me and Hamza feel, it kinda hurts knowing that the girl you are in a relationship with, has fucked with a lot of guys but had no affection to them at all, there's just a feeling that we can't explain, if u don't feel like that, good for u man.
@@marcioslivinski7427 By alot i would say it was less than 10 but im not perfect either as I've fucked just as many girls lol Yea for sure it plays on the mind here and there but it's easy to forget most times because i know who she is now
true that, it's the hook ups and not the previous relationships that catch you off guard, it's so hard to pinpoint why, especially when you learn about it
You are so right about the social media and body count thing that's why I don't even ask what her body count is. It's like men can't have standards anymore and if we do we're called insecure
@@bill5563 she has every right to be if that's what you're asking. I personally wouldn't date a girl with a huge body count and if a woman doesn't want to date a guy with a high body count that's completely fine
@@bill5563 Like we say we have different expectations from the opposite sex. If you wanna have same standards like men then you gonna have a hard time. But, that's you
I appreciate your advice in this video I’m currently starting a relationship with a high quality woman but I noticed that I have some of these red flags still so I’m going to stop pursuing this relationship and continue to do more work on myself.
I think for number 4 you should first get to know them before deciding, I guess it’s a red flag but from my experience everyone I know girls that had hair unnatural colours and piercings etc and were as promiscuous as the girls with normal hair and no piercings. I think with that it depends ngl. I used to have unnaturally coloured hair but I’m not promiscuous at all. It all depends on the situation I think and maybe where you live?
about the 6th flag, Not so long ago, i used to had "friends" who not only were bad friends with bad habits but they also tried to take me down with them and laughed at me every time i refused to them, nowdays I'm in a better environment with friends who encourage me to take good actions and learn and be a better and nicer person, and we also train together. love you hamza (BTW, some of them also watch your videos :) )
lol I dated a girl with all these red flags. She cheated on me with 8 guys (these were the occasions I caught her). She was also flirting with may guys in her inbox, hahaha I was a real fool in my 20's.
@@hsmreu thankyou bro, This happened about 7 years ago, I was very Blue Pill Beta, the most Blue Pill Beta Simp I have ever known. I took her back every time because I thought it showed how much I loved her (hahaha the Beta in Me was that bad). I got red pilled hard in the last 3 years, so I am good now, living a life of purpose. Thank you for your concern.
The modesty in women died when the protective jealousy in men died. Women will call you insecure if you get upset they have a high body count, but its in our innate nature.
I want someone to change my mind. I don't think there are girls around my age who don't have any of these red flags. When a girl becomes a woman she will start to value motherhood and good habits like yoga, eating healty etc. There are barely any young adult/teenage girls who don't have social media and who don't go out. I can either lower my standards or stay alone for now.
The girl I have been seeing recently is interesting. She is barely if ever on social media. She and I love going to the gym and work on school work together at our college library. She doesn’t do hookups, but hasn’t really been sleeping with men if at all. She cares deeply about me and I help her where she needs it.
My first girl who I was dating and really loved got to a party with me and our friendgroup. She told me in the middle of the party that she kissed or got kissed by a guy. That night and the day after. I was heartbroken and feeling betrayed and disappointed. The next day I stopped texting her. She was a fun and beautiful girl and I still get a little bit sad when I think about her. I really didn’t expected that from her and I sometimes miss her. But I move on and improve myself more and hope that she will text me first and will care that I don’t text her anymore.
@@mikel2976 Because that she betrayed me. I can not look at her the same. I just imagine her kissing a guy when I think about our fun memories. I cannot trust her anymore 😢
IF she got kissed by a guy, is that her fault? Did she make out with him or did he just move in fast and kiss her?Because there's a huge difference. That just happened to ME by a longtime MARRIED guy friend at a (drunken) lake party with friends. He just did it and then we walked away, with him 'understanding' that I was not down for it.
@@annehedonia156 I don't know I was going to the toilet the moment that happend. She just told me that she was drinking Hasta Banana or something like that. Then that guy from her school said 'that there where finally beautiful girls at the party' and mouthed her. I forgave her the next day but then stopped texting with her and till this day (2 days long) she has not yet text me first.
I recently had a 5 year relationship end and was left confused and wondering why, turns out in the last year of the relationship she developed 6 of the 9 red flags listed here, now I'm not so confused 😂
Okay, let's see, my ex: 1. *She doesn't believe in your work* She believed, more than I did 2. *Your partner is addicted to social media* Yep, she WAS. Fuck that. 3. *She's not grateful* All good here. 4. *Colorful hair, a lot of piercing* Big agree here, she didn't have that. 5. *Sexual history* Yep, this one was really *BIG* with her. I shouldn't have tolerated that, but I was honestly desperate for a gf, first relationship and everything. 6. *She has promiscuous friends* 50/50 here 7. *Drinking, drugs, degenerate environment* Drinking is a big one, except we drank together, A LOT. I'm to blame here too. She also had a history with drugs, and even more, she was clear with me with her history of use, so there's that. 8. *Bad relationship with parents* Yep, big daddy issues here, awful relationship, even though she loved her parents. Perhaps way too much. They aint lying 'bout the bed part though 9. *She's a bit of a loser* Both of us weren't great on that end. Everything you said matched her.
@@theonlyjl17 I appreciate it! We broke up like 10 months ago, though. The first few months were the worst, but now I'm doing much better. Still single, but much happier than I was a year ago.
my now ex had 6 ouut of these 9 red flags. And the worst thing is that I even watched this video long before we got together but by that time I've already forgot about these red flags. Beauty can really make you blind man
I honestly feel #6 applies to everyone in life. If you want a good idea about anyone's personality and character, look at the people they surround themselves with. It can tell you a lot about who you are going to be involved with be it a significant other or even a friend.
When Hamza talked about red flag 8 and talked about how a boy raised by an abusive father ends up becoming an abusive father himself… that hit so hard. I was 6 when I watched my parents violently divorce in the living room and in my own bedroom. It was stressful to even have to switch between both households per state custody agreements (now divorce is a household topic). I remember if I screwed up in either of my parents’ eyes, I’d get “you’re just like your mom/dad.” Hell I used to endure abuse from my father until the night I turned 18. But here’s the fucked up part outside of my family - it’s almost trained into people that people who’ve endured abuse become abusers. I mean… I haven’t particularly done anything abusive and questioned after HS graduation if I would be cursed to be like my father or not. But it doesn’t matter to people I guess, no matter how much self reflection I do. In 2015, I got screwed over and betrayed by a former homie (I didn’t find out about his role till several years after the fact) who told a gal I was into and flirting with about my upbringing. She then USED that information to spread a narrative to strangers and my own friends (mutuals or not) that I’m unstable and violent. I got blocked en masse and losing support from a majority of my own friends and given the kinda stare by strangers like I deserved to be thrown into the chair. That was a gut punch that I ended up hating everything and everyone. Now here I am, 27 years old, and I’ve accepted that I’m a product of crazy. Both my parents are their own blend of fucked up. I still think that a majority of the masses - even to this day - are just bitter cutthroat savages who wouldn’t hesitate to you or each other alive. Now I don’t tolerate weakness or failure, but I’m struggling to rediscover what it means to genuinely connect with anyone anymore. It’s like how 2015 played out ended up fracturing my ability to do so
Dang I rly feel sorry about what happened w ur parents. I haven't been on the same boat as you but I can strongly resonate w u. I hope now u still improving, cheer up
@@luisbendezu6372 basically it just sucks that people’s attitudes towards people who’ve endured abuse is basically “you’re doomed.” It just makes me think “why bother with anyone?”
Im into kinky stuff like belt and a lil abuse in bed. But, I am against hitting a girl honestly cause I have a lil abusive dad. He isnt a rage monster who drinks all the time. But, he gets angry once in awhile in few months.
Man I love your content and the message of self-improvement that you try to spread and all, but I think the thing about past hookups is kinda unfair. People make decisions they regret when they are older, and I think hookups are the same. A woman might have hooked up with a few men when she was younger, but she could have matured and changed her ways. You judging her for something she did when she probably wasn't even interested in you seems very wrong. If I may, I'll draw your attention to the point about clubbing, partying and enjoying nightlife. You wouldn't turn away a girl who had done it but doesn't do it anymore, solely because you too have done it. But you'd turn away a girl because she's had a few hookups in the past that she probably regrets. I don't think you're being even-handed here. You judging her on something that even she feels bad about would simply make her feel guilty about something that she can't undo! If she doesn't feel any regret, though, that'd be a red flag in my opinion.
How you feel about TikTok is how I use to feel about Snapchat I just genuinely could not take a girl serious who wouldn't delete Snapchat for me. It was to easy to cheat on there before sharing location feature
Just bear in mind that not everybody uses Snapchat for this. I am a girl and I have a Snapchat account. I have 0 friends and 0 snap scores there. And if my boyfriend asks me about deleting it, I wouldn't. Why would I? I like taking pictures with my friends sometimes.
Why would you ask someone to delete their social media? It's their life, not yours. You can't ask them that and expect them to say: "oh yes! Sure I'll delete it" Grow up. That's a controlling behavior.
It's hurts to see a person you're interested in have obvious red flags you only see when pinpointed.
For sure, man. I've been with a girl for 2 years, journaled and analyzed those red flags, only to realize that she has 6 out of 9 of those, the only exception being promiscuity and alcohol/drugs.
@@seivenk9453 Chill if you really love her dont worry about a, “list”
@@bmb4024 stupid
@@bmb4024 nah if he think she ain’t worthy he should leave
He’s right tho man
I dated a girl for a few months. She couldn't stop taking pictures of my house (I live with my parent's ofc), of my car (my dad's but I use it a lot)... every time I was out with her, everything had to be on her social media, we went to a festival and she couldn't go 5 minutes without filming everything. At first, I just thought it was part of her personality but she literally lived for social media. I should have walked away way earlier than I did. If something seems off, it probably is. Don't try to justify bad behaviour because you like them. Walk away and move onto the next.
Was she a content creator or just living the life of one without the followers
@@bentrayn Nah she wasn’t, she was just one of those people who just feels the need to film and record everything, if I knew she had a content creation channel or something I would have understood but she just had an obsession with filming and posting things
@@og2484 you made the right decision bro 🤝
Ah yes saw those peoples everywhere taking picture of everything usually when I go out to do something really fun and enjoyable I hated taking photos I rather live in the moment
You shouldn’t have to put up with the blatant toxic narcissism of social-media obsessed chicks bruh. Nobody should have to put up with that shit. I truly believe social media was a mistake.
Me and my girlfriend watch your videos together and it's such a wholesome feeling being able to talk about how far we've come from how we were before we started dating as individuals and where we are now as one.
Make sure to keep some kind of mystery of yourself as a man, if you are both sharing literally everything together, and all your problems and issues in life, she will lose attraction for you.
You lucky bastard
I'm beyond jealous
@@BeauMartinMusic Nah they're just getting closer to a serious one
Yo babe, lets watch Hamza videos
"Shes diferent bro"🤡
I'll change her bro 🤡🤡
That social media stuff is true. It's not just GFs, but also friends on so on. I hate it when I'm talking to a person and that person is looking at his/her phone. I once just walked away from the table and the social media addict then complained about why I walked away. I replied, "So, how long did it take for you to notice I walked away?" The embarrassment was real.
big facts man
1. She doesn´t beleave in your work | 0:55
2. Your partner being addicted to social media | 1:26
3. She´s not grateful | 4:41
4. When a girl has colorful hair and lots of piercings | 5:47
5. Promiscuity & the sexual history | 7:44
6. She has promiscuous friends | 10:16
7. She drinks & does drugs | 13:04
8. She has a bad relationship with her parents (especially father) | 15:51
9. She´s a bit of a loser | 18:25
Thanks man (nobody say that to you, but at least here I am)
Thanks bro
Thanks
thanks ma man
Thanks for savings us 23 minutes
I put my girl through self-improvement and it made our relationship healthier. I’m glad she was open-minded about everything because otherwise me and her wouldn’t have made it through the year we have spent together. Firstly, I want to say though, don’t be close-minded with relationships if you are on self-improvement, I was like this for so long and I kept saying I want breaks and all that other bullshit, be open-minded but also stay aware of you and her. I’m glad I changed and she did too because the influence she had of me carried to her and we are both very similar now, telling me to keep going with my work or convincing me to do shit when I feel unmotivated to do something, me and her have changed and are still changing into better people. Anyway I got to finish homework. I love her so much and I am marrying her as soon as I get a house with her.
Edit : If you do have a girlfriend and she has one or two of these red flags just understand a person can change like the way you have transformed/transforming with self-improvement. Also, thank you to the supportive Adonis’ in the replies of this comment.
Awe this is soooo cute
I wish you both well💚💚💚💛💛
These ain't just your average *W's*
These are *W's* sized like Egyptian Pyramids upside down
W man
Don't get the government involved
damn bro now thats a 2022 love story, wish you all the joy in the world, and after this gay ass world too
I dated a girl before who had these red flags. The thing is, I already knew about these red flags, i'm just ignoring it thinking she is different, she's the one. It led me to a 2-year hell. Not only the relationship was hell, but it was also bleeding into other areas of my life. Dumbest decision of my life. It was when I had the courage to broke up with her, I discovered Hamza and had hope that I can change for the better. Hamza insipred me to become the best that I can be.
That is a big mistake unexperienced guys fell in, like " oh no she is special", " its more complicated than you think" and etc, don't worry bro, its good that you decided to share. You will find someone more appropriate for your value eventually
same
fuck dude fuck please im 16 almost 17 and have a girlfriend right now. If anyone reads this please help me i need advice. We have dated for a bit more than a year now but its been hell. Before she dated me she dated a guy who was a gun and drug dealer. She did drugs but quit, now shes religious. Thing is, she cheated on me. I kinda knew it so i cheated on her as well, but it was nowhere as bad. Anyways, now we are kind of good but i think shes cheating on me again. dude i dont know i just have this feeling she is special but what if shes still on the same shit? my feelings are all over the place and i cant help but think im wasting my time with her
@@glorihol6803 if she's still on the same shit just leave her dude you'd be way better off without that dead weight on your back
You'll have to move past your feelings too if you have any for her at this point
Give her a talk if you want but do not expect it to go well when you do cause if she's cheating again she'll likely get defensive and start berating you
Happened to me too brother good luck
@@glorihol6803 you are correct, once there's cheating it's over. Give it up or you will lose all self respect
Hamza, the last point is golden.
I'm 27 and have been on the 'self improvement' journey for the last 8 years. I'm at a point in life where I have a great job, top 5% physique, huge social circle, close friends I can depend on, and it has made dating SO much harder.
My access to women is the best it has ever been, (and only seems to be getting better), but holy s*** are there a lot of jessica's out there! It's gotten to the point where I'm not even really attracted to a girl until I can see they have drive themselves - glad it is something you are guiding other guys to avoid!
Did it take you 8 years to have top 5% physique? I'm also 27, but just started hitting the gym
Help me bro
@@macmanuelodumeru3708 it took me less than a year to get a top 5% physique, the more determined u are the less time it will take
@@macmanuelodumeru3708 nah it probably took a year or two, most of the 8 years was probably the job lol
@@mincarve7697 Thanks for the reply. Around how long did you begin to see good changes in your physique from when you started within the year?
A month? 2 months? 3 months? 6 months?
I dated a girl at university this year for a couple of months (Feb. 2022 - June 2022). I will NEVER regret leaving her. I met her at the church on the school campus and, although we had the same religious and political values, we had nothing else in common. She was fat, like morbidly obese fat, had fat parents, and had no hobbies besides using social media and watching Netflix. She couldn’t care less about learning new skills or any philosophical ideas I would bring up (I want to be a nurse but I still love philosophy and history). When we “hung out”, we basically walked around stores all day buying random crap and junk food. She would also BEGGED to hang out with me every day. Every time I tried to tell her that we should take some days off she would always get angry and claim “why don’t you wanna hang out with me? Don’t you love me,” in which I would become a submissive Jeffery and follow her every whim. Her family as a whole were a bunch of losers who were middle class but not ambitious about anything. I think they saw I came from money as I come from a middle to upper class lifestyle. She lived near where the university was located and brainwashed me into not wanting to leave her. Being the SIMP I was, I stayed at an apartment near the university. Thankfully, my parents came up to my apartment to save me from what was going on, even though I rebelled against them a little bit because of being brainwashed by my girlfriend. After they came up though, I left the apartment, that university, and that city completely to go back to my hometown to live with my parents. I now go to the university in my hometown studying to become a nurse. I live with my parents who I love, have started weightlifting and cardio so I can attract better looking and mentally healthier girls, and have come back to a lot of my hobbies I abandoned when I was dating my ex-girlfriend. I discovered Hamza in August 2022. As a person who already enjoyed self-improvement and loved men like Jordan Peterson already, Hamza was a perfect addition. Hamza helped me realised that physical attractiveness is very important and that, even though you may have a great personality, your body is just as important. I now wake up every morning at 5:00 AM, eat oatmeal, go to the gym, do weight training, ab exercises, and run a mile as fast as I can. I go every day (except for Sunday. I’m religious remember :P) and have gone from doing 15 lbs on bicep curls to 25 lbs on them. I have also gone from 45 lbs on bench press to 100 lbs. (I’m 5’7 and weight 135 lbs). I have also been able to cut my one mile running time from 14 minutes to 10 minutes.
This is a side note but I think is still very good encouragement. I was born with half a heart (Hypoplastic Left-Heart Syndrome is the actual medical term) and have still been able to accomplish all of this in the span of only 4 months. The oldest survivor with my condition is only in their early 40s and babies still die from this heart defect all around the world today.
All that to say, don’t make excuses, anything is possible!
I study medicine, I do self-improvement - staying disciplined, studying, working out, taking care of my hygiene. I want to show you respect for doing everything you can to improve and live a good life, while having that condition. I wish you a long and fulfilled life! Stay strong!
Very motivational, keep crushing it my friend.
Zed my man. you're awesome. keep it up! way to go King!
your story is awesome and a very common mistake many of us do. never settle! there's always something better out there!
Good stuff man. Hopefully with all the good habits you've added to your life you'll be able to live into your 40s or longer. Life is too short to not see what you're capable of.
@@giannisarcho2940 Exactly! I have raised my standards for girls way higher. That girl I was talking about is STILL obese last time I checked her social media, so she obviously is not trying to self-improve and didn't learn anything from the relationship. She is also still working a shitty minimum wage job to help pay for school because she was in a lot of debt coming from out of state to my state. (I don't have any debt because of scholarships and my parents are good at managing money lol). I deleted her number from my phone last month, but before I did, I sent her a picture of me flexing my muscles and said "I win." I don't use any social media besides UA-cam, but I checked my Instagram after this text, and she blocked me after I texted her that flexing picture. I just smiled and laughed.
After all this, yes this has all happened to me in 2022, (I'm 20), I finally asked out a girl from my high school who I have ACTUALLY wanted to date for a very long time. She sadly said "no" when I asked her. However, for the first time in my entire life of asking girls out, (I have asked 5 girls out in my life so far) I wasn't devastated or sad. I was just happy to finally admit my feelings to her, get it off my chest, and now I can move onto the next girl I would like to date. I know my values and what I stand for. If a girl doesn't want that, then I'll let them go. I know that I’m amazing, and any girl who doesn’t want to date me is missing out on an amazing future husband.
Life is so much more FREEING when you stop being a Jeffery! Most women are Jessica's. Adonis doesn't date Jessica's, so why should I?
I'm a woman and promiscuity should be nm 1 on the list
does thwt mean my relationship of 2.5 years is doomed because my girl used to be like that for a couple years in her early 20s?
@@bill5563 yeah bro depending on how bad it was the relationship could be doomed to fail. either she'll struggle to pair bond or significantly increase the chances of cheating.
@@bill5563 I mean if you know for a fact that she turned her life around then it should be all good, but I wouldn't trust her blindly. As that other guy said it increases her likelihood of cheating.
@@Ivan-eo8du yes i really believe she has
@@Ivan-eo8du My godparents who are in their 50s recently got a divorce. My godmothers reasoning being that she wants to live her life. She ws young and a virgin when she married him. This sort of thing can happen either way
I've never felt ready for a relationship, but not having a real strong/long one really messes the mood.
True
My biggest W so far in life is meeting a woman who is ambitioned but also feminine. She wants to achieve the possibility of a great career but keeps telling me her absolute goal is not having to work. That is pushing me really hard. She also keeps me hella accountable on self improvement and our relationship is slowly but surely moving into a perfect, more polarized relationship as my growth has exploded. Btw we are both 21 and in this together, so you can do it too!
A claflip guy only can see these kinda videos cant make any action not my wrong to be born like this
that's awesome to hear, i had felt in love twice with woman like that but they just friendzoned me so I started to think that the problem is liking the "masculine" drive of actually having a pourpose on her lives. But maybe having a direction doesn't mean they aint femenine. How is the relationship going??
I think context is key......some people are unfortunate and born into troubled households, but that doesn't mean a man or woman is immediately "broken" or a red flag. There is such a thing as therapy and self-improvement. I think that's the real red flag, is if someone doesn't actively try to improve themselves. Shit happens to all of us but if you don't try to heal your own trauma as well as generational trauma then you're not worth it.
Wow, I can 100% relate to #5.
Got my first serious girlfriend being 19 years old, me still a virgin, her not.
Wasn't a big deal until she told me she lost her virginity to her best friend out of curiosity and they did hook up multiple times just for the "physical pleasure". Actually broke my heart because i waited for 19 years to meet someone (i thought at that time) special. Never looked at her the same way. Always thought this was about me being insecure.
7 years later i know i doged a bullet there.
Self improvement and patience are the only way to go.
Absolutely love this video Hamza.
Same, my ex have similar history and I used to have such terrible mental health because I can never stop imagining her getting railed by the guys she mentioned to me. I rarely slept well because I often dreamt about her getting railed by that guy over and over again. I broke up with her and it was the best decision I have ever made.
BRO SAME FEELINGS IVE BEEN THERE BUT I WAS 17 P U R E PAIN
I had similar story with my first girlfriend, 18-19 years old virgin that met a "perfect" girl. Now, 3 years later I know that it was a big mistake and learned a lot from that :)
Bro, you’re not alone, similar case here
@@mohdzakibagali4351 Bro it depends, here’s my opinion, if she only has had one/two boyfriends maybe it’s ok, just focused on the present man, she may has had sex with other guys but obviously you weren’t in her life, so you can work on it, but if she has like a strong sexual past, sleeping with lot of guys, casual sex and you can’t stop thinking about that, I think you should leave that relationship bro, stay if you feel comfortable
TIMESTAMPS AND SUMMARY:
0:55 RF#1: She doesn´t believe in your work
1:26 RF#2: She's addicted to social media (1+ hrs a day on TikTok)
4:41 RF#3: She´s not grateful (and is entitled) - so it'll be more difficult to praise her
5:47 RF#4: She has colorful hair and lots of piercings (higher chance she's promiscuous)
7:44 RF#5: She's promiscuous and has hooked up before (non-wholesome vibes, might not take you seriously)
10:16 RF#6: She has promiscuous friends (who'll reinforce her bad habits)
13:04 RF#7: She drinks & does drugs (and therefore doesn't have her priorities straight)
15:51 RF#8: She has a bad relationship with her parents (especially father) - meaning you'll have to deal with her baggage if she doesn't want to address it herself
18:25 RF#9: She´s a bit of a loser (she won't 1+1=3 your life, but rather bring you down to her level).
Seek the lord and savior. Jesus Christ is the lord he is king the way, will and way. ✝️🙏
all women are practically like this
11:11
Quite Frankly one of my friends was a massive Jeffery, but I slowly got into the good habits, I started reading lifting consistently, and invited my friend to the gym. When he came with me he didn't want to be there but he stuck around, and now as I'm typing this suffering from over training, I wake up to a text of him letting me know he went to the gym and that gave me motivation to keep on going even after I had a injury. I try to be the best person I can at the best of my ability and will follow in your footsteps too, even if I set some others along the way. Thank you hamza
This is one of the most important videos made in our time and age. Thank you, Hamza for having the strength to say these things out loud. I really love to see that there is someone with a vast amount of listeners out there who is speaking about these issues without trying to sugarcoat the message.
My Ex, had all of these red flags, and people that knew her, even my friends, tried to tell me, but I ignored it all, got a place with her after six months, because she got evicted from her prior apartment for having too many pets. I went along with all her bad decisions, and it was ruining my life, my worst physical and mental state I’ve ever been in. Once I woke up, broke up, all I wanted to do was improve my self, thanks Hamza for helping me with that, wish I had this video earlier, maybe I wouldn’t have dated her in the first place.. then again it’s good experience for knowing what I don’t want in a partner.
I had all these red flags in my past relationship but I still accepted her and wanted her to be forever mine(she dumped me months back). Now I'm working on myself and giving my best to improve 🙌. We are gonna make it brah.
keep it up bro 👏 i know you could do it 💪💪
It is more like she was lucky to have you, it is good that she dumped you so that you can work on yourself and find a girl who will actually appreciate you.
Always trust your gut feeling, that's something I'll instill in my son. My brain wants to come up with excuses but the gut always knows what's up for some reason
yeah man u r correct. same here
Thanks big papa👍
Based pfp
😂😂??
"I like it when you call me B.I.G. Poppa"
I got ghosted because I told the girl that I dont have social media and dont go to parties.. Crazy generation
She did you a favor
i chose to ignore 2 of these red flags and got cheated on in two different occasions after a full year of effort to "try and help her" get rid of her bad habits. people don't want to be helped, they are aware of what they are doing and they will stay true to themselves.
I just got cheated on 1.5 months ago and looking back, she had #2, #3, #6, #7, #8, #9. 5 years down the drain. Maybe it’s for the better at this point.
@@zucine at leats you are not getting lied to anymore
@@Memento_Mori3210 thanks, i'm trying to
i’m a girl, and i’m watching this to improve myself, this video really explained what i shouldn’t do in a relationship and avoid these things.
thank you 🙏🏼
Good girl
@@FootballJunky-r6hrule no. 1 for talking to girls: Don’t say freaking, “good girl” 😂
@@Enryu_uyrnE what do u say then?
@@Enryu_uyrnE ur right he shoulda said bad girl baad bad bad gurl
I can say from my own personal experience that following these rules is a MUST for young men who are on self improvement. And do not believe for a second you can ignore these because your girl is "special".
bruh so you should breakup bc she use tiktok
@@Jonis442 because she spends 1+ hour on it? definitely yes
@@Jonis442 yes 100% you should
@@hettt.patelll agreed.
@@penguinlord-yt9xc so from my understanding, I would agree with the people above, but that also doesn't mean you're wrong. It may be a healthy relationship currently, but usually it'll lead on to become a bad one.
I'll try explain what I mean, it's human nature to always want more.
For example let's say we were alcoholics and we always drank the same amount, we eventually will get used to that amount. And then we start looking for the next big kick.
Same applies to our dopamine levels.
So if that person you're dating is not realising it or does not love/respects themselves enough to detox even with your advice, then typically that habit of wanting more will ruin a relationship and themselves.
Wanting more is not a bad thing, it's just were you apply it.
Example
Person A: just wants more dopamine levels from doing nothing and just watching yt shorts
Person B: wants more dopamine from self improvement
B is getting more than dopamine itself, they're also growing and learning compared to A.
I hope that explains the gist of it.
I love your outlook on social media. Gentlemen if you’re considering deleting it, GET IT DONE. Since deleting it every aspect of my life has improved tenfold. The UA-cam popped off, no distractions, no time wasting, no comparisons, fully focused on my craft and being present.
Not even kidding, just reading this comment reminded me that I've been wanting to disable my instagram account. Literally just did it.
@@sk8ingthemystery good lad, best decision you will ever make.
Perfect timing on this video. I’ve been single for 3 years and focused solely on my college career and now I’m going to the best hospital in the US for an internship for a field that is in high demand. I recently met a girl from my hometown who checks all the right boxes and these red flags definitely made it clear to me that she’s a keeper. Thanks Hamza 🙏
Good shit brother
I hate tiktok
It ruins a person's mind and even the will power of watching of a full UA-cam video
I'm young and don't need to worry about dating but the many girls I've dated in my life have had many of these red flags. At first I thought I was the problem but many of them were the problem that I can see now. But ever since i've been watching your videos seriously, my life has never been so much happier.
as u said it u guys r young& constantly changing. make mistakes and long lasting memories
@@mies626’ make mistakes’ what stupid advice.Just cuz ur life is shit and and u regret how u wasted ur youth doesn’t mean u should encourage someone else to live ur shit medicore life
Especially girls from Western Europe and the US are like this.
I live in Czech Republic and it’s completely different and girls have a very active lifestyle, full of sport, hobbies and activities like reading books and learning languages.
I am from Italy and in there girls are just entitled and what they do with their free time? Nothing special really, most of the interesting things they do in their life is travelling and go places at the expenses of their boyfriends who lives with his parents and on their financial support. They are red flags and not interesting at all.
Many things they can do I can do as well but on top of that I can do many other things. Of course not all of them are like this but probably because of a mixture of factors (Catholicism, US culture, conservative and maschilist way of thinking when it’s up to families and feminism) many girls have a f****d up mind and act like they deserve the best guy in social media while they are completely useless and helpless and just barely nice looking due to heavy make up.
@@hellboy0189 Then again, you cant generalize a group of people.
I like how extreme you’re about social media and you’re completely right
I noticed my own self become much better mood and notices the world around me more when I deleted all social media apps except Whatsapp and UA-cam and I rarely use them
Thank you for this video Hamza. My ex broke up with me a few days ago, she said she couldn't do a relationship right now. It hurt, but she very much had the last bad habit. She would stay up late, sleep till 2 pm, go to work, and then just eat junk food and play video games all night. I've been doing self improvement for a few months now, and whenever we hung out, it never felt that good because I was doing the same things she was. Thank you for making this video, really will help me evaluate future partners
I feel you bro, I am currently going through the exact same thing. My ex of three years broke up with me because I really got into self improvement and wanted to get rid of my bad habits while she wanted to continue to go partying and doing a lot of unhealthy stuff which I didnt want to share with her anymore. It hurts, but stay strong!
@@lleanh9072 you too brother, we both gonna make it!
Sounds like she saw you improving and it made her feel worse about herself. As sad as it is, good job
@@AS-ie6id she knew I went to the gym, she didn't. I even tried to help her get into exercising. She also knew I liked to eat clean, and she didn't really. I would also encourage her to eat clean, at least a little. Maybe you're right, if so, it's a good thing it's over
Sounds like a dream, send her my way.
I dated a girl for 4 years and she had almost every red flags in this video. She doesn’t believed in my work, was addicted to social media, wasn’t grateful and was a completly looser when i look backward at my relationship with her.
Of course in the begining i didn’t realised it and it was not as bad it was in the later part of our relationship but it get worse with the time. I already was trying to improve my self and really tried to help her with her life as well but it completly f*cked up my mental health to a point that i gained 10kg of fat in one year cause of binge eating. This girl eventually left me for an other guy but she came back few months later, realising all i was doing for her.
Hopefully i moved on realising how toxic my relationship with her was and never came back with her. I continued my self improvement journey, quit smoking, stopped binge eating cause my mental health started improoving, restarted training.
Few months later i met a girl who is a total green flag and helped me even more to improove my mental health. We both support each other and it feels great to be in such a non-toxic relationship.
I wanted to share my story with you to share this message :
Don’t f*ck up your mental health trying to help someone kings. It doesn’t worth it
i agree with most of the video but a point i do want to make is that not every girl you’ll met is going to be perfect. you really have to find the one girl that is the most open minded and will allow you to help her as she will help you too. if you like a girl you eventually build her up to delete social media like how i did with mine. My partner isn’t fully invested into self improvement as i am but she is slowly getting there. So i guess the question you have to ask yourself is, which girl is worth to invest in and building upon with?
Tell me how this works. One of my friends told me people don't change
@@theshanepig depends on what you believe in man. We all change like every 6 months we see things differently as we get older. I’ve witnessed it with time people do change and if you’re trying to make your girl better it all hast to start with you and have strict discipline and she will eventually follow you with due time
@@Alan27277 I can respect that. I've tried to help her improve and I've invested over 3 years into her. All the while going through a massive self improvement transformation myself and changing everything about my life. She kind of went around in a circle and hasn't changed much at all. She can't keep habits and her whole friend group are all subpar at best in terms of habits and improvement. I really have wanted to believe she would change when given the example and years of a chance but at some point we're becoming such different people we can't relate very well anymore.
@@theshanepig for me, you actually proved his whole point. Keep up the good things 🙏
@@dawn_darklight Thank you! Just gotta make the best of your life and never let others set the standard for what you can become.
Whys there so much editing kinda ruins it tbh
What kind of editing is there
Just marry a Muslim female?
yea lol
lemme tell as a Muslim guy those females are becoming more feminazis and cheaters, and I'm sure u don't want to deal with a feminist bitch, and they're hella HELLA addicted to social media
Am sorry who are u talking about?
@@Lightless_era i agreed with the point u made
@@Lightless_era to u bro watchu mean
A woman having a promiscuous sexual past is definitely the most important. there’s been studies that show that after about 5 bodies she significantly loses her ability to pair bond with a mate and after 10 she basically can’t anymore, and will be very likely to cheat/divorce. Women very much should be shamed and called a bad person for engaging in that behaviour it’s disgusting.
Can u link me the studies, not trying to contest, I'm truly interested
source?
Ay it's Jarl Balgruuf no way
Bro who cares about the studies and all like if you dislike or feel disgust from particular behavior than it is a big enough reason to not get with someone or just break up you should listen more to yourself (logically not emotionally)than some studies that tell you how you should feel
Interesting! I am wondering though, was it the same conclusion for male subjects?
Hamza is the older brother I never had, thank you for just existing Hamza
The key to Divine love I’m learning is letting them go and trusting yourself. Voice your concern and don’t stop them. If your partner wants to go to the bar or whatever social gathering you have to trust yourself in knowing that there’s a possibility they could make a mistake. When you allow someone the chance to make a mistake you give them an opportunity to learn wether or not the relationship ends. We’re all humans and every single one of us man or woman has our own unique and individual life path.
Everyone else talking about their experiences
Me: Admiring Hamza's beard
Hi Hamza, you've mentioned several times that a girls relationship with her father is extremely important and that if her father isn't around or that she doesn't have a good relationship with her father it's a huge red flag. But Hamza, I grew up without a father. I grew up without knowing what a healthy relationship between a husband and a wife looks like. What am I supposed to do? Am I a red flag too? I'm not hating or anything but I have a genuine question. Be it a young man like me or a girl how do we find our ways to happiness? Will we ever? If someone else is reading this and has something interesting to say please do I'm always searching for answers.
Hey man,I had (still have from time to time) a similar question since my family enviroment too wasnt the best, to the point where i thought too if i would end up as my parents,always arguing,not helping or listening to each other,always talking about divorcing and weak threats,etc. After a lot of thinking and through experiences with people and love (good and bad) I realised that realising that you may end up like your parents when you dont want to do since you want to be better is the first step towards becoming better. If you get into a relationship with a girl and yshe has a similar problem and thought.....well, just talk bout it. Be open with them and let them open,seek help from someone professional,ask your friends their opinion (if you think they can give a decent opinion anyway). Even if you aint on a relationship,you should go and seek help,from a pro, a good friend or both, and see if you've found any way to combat that bad future that could happen. And,of course, always remember who you are and what you want to be....someone who doesnt try to change things,makes things worse,shouts etc....or someone who listens and wants to help and uplift those who he/she cares about and trys his/her best to be their best self. Sorry if it ended long btw but i'd like to hope that my words will give you some insight or help you,even a bit. Good day my friend and good luck to your journey.
Be stoic
Learn how to fight
Keep a sharp mind and a sharp body
Master your craft
Do what needs to be done, not what you want to do
Those are the only values you should have as a real man
You're not a red flag my friend. It's good that you're watching Hamza because he teaches things a father should teach their child. The key is to educate yourself on healthy relationships and to be the best man you can be. Take care
He's just saying in general a person being from a broken home is a red flag. But not everyone from a broken home is a fuck-up, just like not everyone from a good family is a good person. But this is just a statistical trend.
The fact you recognized this, is a bigger green flag than being in a good home. Self introspection is huge
I like that Hamza brings up at certain points how others will try and convince you to change your values (insecure, controlling, misogynist, etc). Let them think whatever they want but if you have come to a standard either through experience, or gut feeling, or thought, then don't listen to these people. If you are trying to find a partner for the rest of your life, to have children with, then who cares what anyone else thinks - they don't have to live with the standards that they try and put onto you, its only you.
I was recently having an informal discussion with one of my friends and I mentioned that if I ever have children, they won't be allowed to go crazy with social media. He was taken aback by this and through his tone seemed to think that I was crazy. We had a back and forth about it where I justified why I came to that conclusion and he gave arguments for why he thinks that approach is wrong. I respect his opinion as my friend, but my reasoning trumped his (to me at least), so I kept that value.
This is based, however I'm just wondering if the promiscuous sexual history can also make the guy a red flag towards the girl. Cuz for example Hamza talks about how he used to hook up with girls, but wouldn't that make his girlfriend repulsed?
its different for men and women
Most women don't care about it though most men do hence the double standard
I'm a girl and I totaly agree with you.....IF the guy doesn't have theas red flags to. For example: if you spend 4 hours a day on tiktok and post photo's on you instagram acount, you can't ask me to don't have an acount of instagram and don't use tiktok. If the guy doesn't spend much time on his phone and he ask me to don't do it either, I will do as he say. But I imagen that was clear from the beginning, anyway, good video man and sorry for bad english
🚩 Bonus: She badmouths her ex
Incredibile, the girl who broke my heart really had these characteristics
Same man, she especially had the last trait. Idk why I'm so hung up on her, but I'm gonna focus on me now
Same
Things I like about Hamza part ?? - He's not afraid to discuss the most controversial topics, even if it regards the truth. Modern day "self-improvement" channels give us only a general understanding of a complicated topic while trying to stay politically correct for the fear of "being cancelled" or not getting enough views, but fellow bro Hamza is out here speaking to us one on one, and giving us the cold hard truth from experience. Thanks for keeping it real :)
Everyone needs to listen to this video, I blindly ignored these red flags in one of my exes and it completely ruined me as a person. Now that I have upped my standards and myself as a person, my life has never been better. Remember your life can be significantly improved if you make the quality of the people around you better.
Thank you
I will pray for you and men who went through this
Why do good men have to go through this hell? Especially the hookup-One night stand part
In my freshman year of high school, I was dating a girl who had somewhat of a body count. Some of them being consensual, and others not, unfortunately. She had rumors that followed her, and emotional trauma that she cast on me unintentionally. My mistake in all of this was staying with her for as long as I did after knowing the issues she had (that she also admitted to not having recovered from). Soon enough, her problems started to become mine, and I was miserable in the relationship. I still feel sorry for her to this day, although I will remember to sever ties when it's needed next time.
My gf broke up with me the other day after 6 months. She said that she wasn't ready for a relationship now, because she needs alone time and that she needed to look out for and work on herself after starting her new job. (We hung out twice a week usually, mainly a sleepover on a weekend, with one weekend a month we wouldn't see each other. So like 6 days per monthish. We were also an hour and a half drive from each other.) She also said I was the kindest boyfriend she's ever had, all her family and friends said how nice I was and how much they liked me compared to her other bf's. I was giving 100% and she wasn't, it was a one sided relationship and she acknowledged it. But in the end she needed all this alone time and didn't want to make any compromises and I was the one making all the compromises. She said that it isn't fair to me, and basically broke up with me saying the it's not you it's me line. I keep telling myself if she wanted us to work out then she would have put the effort in on her end so we could have worked through it. The thing is all the time we spent together when we were together in person was just amazing, always laughing together and having fun. She had the best personality of anyone I've ever known, super funny, and just really easy to talk to and get along with. But when we weren't together, communication started to become an issue after starting her job. It's sad because I lost my best friend.
I'm still a bit sad and getting over it, but she had a promiscuous past as well. We're both 28, and I was a bit jealous or mindful about her past too, she had like 25+, a few relationships and the rest ONS, and I only really had her. (I tried a ONS but wasn't that comfortable with the idea.) Her and I barely did it as much as she said she used to, due to some medical problems from recent years. Maybe two to three times a month on average with me as opposed to wanting it nearly every day like she said she used to. I definitely thought of her past a few times while we were together and a story she told me about being with a guy nearly every night in college after a breakup. I brought it up with her once or twice that I wasn't feeling satisfied in that area. She didn't want to compromise at all on that end, and I don't blame her for not wanting to, but then I would think back to when she would do it with other random guys just like that, but not with me. So either way, it didn't feel good.
A promiscuous past is definitely something to be mindful of, whether we want to admit it or not. Hell I wish I could see past it and get over it, and I tried to the times I thought of it. Like Hamza said, the relationships didn't bother me as much as the ONS's. Even though it's part of the past, we still think about it here and there, at least I did. She brought that up as well, and said that she's with me and not them. In the end though, she must not have loved me as much as I loved her. Could be that it was bad timing, or that it's a promiscuous past, but definitely seems like the more partners someone has the less reciprocated the relationship will be.
10:16 , I preach this point so much, her friends are usually a big influence on her and her personality and her friends could one day convince her to do something and it will fuck everything up.
This is true. I was with my ex for about a year when my ex’s best friend (as we went into our freshman year of college) started bad-talking me any time I had a disagreement. My perspective wasn’t considered, and she just didn’t like me because I’m naturally more reserved and introverted while she’s the opposite. Over the course of freshman year my ex would tell me things that her friend didn’t like about me (triangulation) to point out my faults, and it really wore on me. We broke up by the end of the year. I’m relieved to not have to worry about that anymore since I’m single and plan to be for a while. It’s crazy to me how something that seemed to be so important in my life ended up being just a mere lesson that I’ll hopefully be able to tell my kids about someday.
Don't worry if it's controversial Hamza, Jordan Peterson once said: "In order to think we have to risk offending people"
One thing I feel different is that one of the best indicators is how a girl/lady is with her mother, not her father. Because they inherit feminine energy from their moms, the same way men inherit masculine energy from their dads. I feel the most sacred/real relationships, ideally are Mother-Daughter and Father-Son. Because a mother is usually very overprotective of their sons and a father is usually very overprotective of their daughter, so, I'm going to be blunt, there is more pampering and less learning in general.
Moms supporting hoes nowadays sooooo..
I don't bother with dating anymore 😂
I could relate so much to your story about sexual history.
My 1st Girlfriend was a lot older than me, about 10 years older. I completely understand that she's had many boyfriends before and of course she's had sex with them and that's alright with me.
But what really broke me is after our 1st year of being together, this guy friend of her that i had been suspecting for a year... She finally admitted that she's actually been having sex with him when she was still with her Ex-Boyfriend and she also admitted of having sex with 5+ more dudes that's also just "her friends"
Man i trusted her and that "guy bestfriend" of her for an entire year that there's nothing to them 🤣
But yeah, like you said... I never looked at her the same way again even if i try to forget about it. It's quite traumatizing, the thoughts, the imaginations that would get in my head every time I remember.
It's about trust. Not insecurity.
10 years older Is crazy
@@MattGarcyaDC i know, I've always liked women that are atleast 5yrs older than me. I find them to have a similar level of maturity as i do, unlike the ones at my age.
@@francisravi7651 just like me fr 👍
Red Flag #5 YES YES, I relate A LOT, I really don't get why either, but for some reason, if the woman that you're dating fucked "x" amount of guys, it hurts, and If she had idk, 3 boyfriends it's ok. I really don't get it but when you said it I was like "YES, YES, EXACTLY"
does that mean my loving relationship of 2.5 years is doomed because my girl was kinda like that in her early 20s?
@@bill5563 nope, it's not a rule or anything like that, it's just like... A sign, maybe she has changed, or maybe that's not even a problem, it's just something in your mind, as I said, it's something that at least me and Hamza feel, it kinda hurts knowing that the girl you are in a relationship with, has fucked with a lot of guys but had no affection to them at all, there's just a feeling that we can't explain, if u don't feel like that, good for u man.
@@marcioslivinski7427 By alot i would say it was less than 10 but im not perfect either as I've fucked just as many girls lol
Yea for sure it plays on the mind here and there but it's easy to forget most times because i know who she is now
true that, it's the hook ups and not the previous relationships that catch you off guard, it's so hard to pinpoint why, especially when you learn about it
You are so right about the social media and body count thing that's why I don't even ask what her body count is. It's like men can't have standards anymore and if we do we're called insecure
should a girl get upset if a guy has fucked heaps of chicks?
@@bill5563 she has every right to be if that's what you're asking. I personally wouldn't date a girl with a huge body count and if a woman doesn't want to date a guy with a high body count that's completely fine
@@bill5563 Like we say we have different expectations from the opposite sex. If you wanna have same standards like men then you gonna have a hard time. But, that's you
I appreciate your advice in this video I’m currently starting a relationship with a high quality woman but I noticed that I have some of these red flags still so I’m going to stop pursuing this relationship and continue to do more work on myself.
What red flags were there?
If she's a high quality women, then just talk to her about this. It might make your journey easier.
From a girls POV this video is a bit debaitable but mostly true
I think for number 4 you should first get to know them before deciding, I guess it’s a red flag but from my experience everyone I know girls that had hair unnatural colours and piercings etc and were as promiscuous as the girls with normal hair and no piercings. I think with that it depends ngl. I used to have unnaturally coloured hair but I’m not promiscuous at all. It all depends on the situation I think and maybe where you live?
about the 6th flag, Not so long ago, i used to had "friends" who not only were bad friends with bad habits but they also tried to take me down with them and laughed at me every time i refused to them, nowdays I'm in a better environment with friends who encourage me to take good actions and learn and be a better and nicer person, and we also train together. love you hamza (BTW, some of them also watch your videos :) )
lol I dated a girl with all these red flags. She cheated on me with 8 guys (these were the occasions I caught her). She was also flirting with may guys in her inbox, hahaha I was a real fool in my 20's.
Damn man. That's so sad. Hope you are okay now cause all of that really affects you no matter how well you can feel
Damn 😟 at least now you’re free
@@hsmreu sad is if he keeps doing it, he learned his lesson.. that's the good side of pain, it's temporary and teaches you things
@@hsmreu thankyou bro, This happened about 7 years ago, I was very Blue Pill Beta, the most Blue Pill Beta Simp I have ever known. I took her back every time
because I thought it showed how much I loved her (hahaha the Beta in Me was that bad). I got red pilled hard in the last 3 years, so I am good now, living a life of purpose. Thank you for your concern.
how did bro not leave after the 7th guy
Men can have standards too 💯
Agreed.
The modesty in women died when the protective jealousy in men died. Women will call you insecure if you get upset they have a high body count, but its in our innate nature.
6:20 most women who dye their hair got emotional issues
I want someone to change my mind. I don't think there are girls around my age who don't have any of these red flags. When a girl becomes a woman she will start to value motherhood and good habits like yoga, eating healty etc. There are barely any young adult/teenage girls who don't have social media and who don't go out. I can either lower my standards or stay alone for now.
Same boat here man
I kid of course
Same for me,but i like someone who shares my hobbies too
Exactly what I thought bro, every 18yo girl goes out and hooks up etc, its literally impossible to find someone who doesn't
I have a girl like that. There are out there. But I will break up with her for other reasons...
As a 20 year old young woman, I loved the video and your perspective ❤
It’s cool that none of us have finished the video yet
Some of us just finish a lot sooner
@@HMNCLunar some of us never start
The feeling when our girl had big sex history is because we men are territorial.
The girl I have been seeing recently is interesting. She is barely if ever on social media. She and I love going to the gym and work on school work together at our college library. She doesn’t do hookups, but hasn’t really been sleeping with men if at all. She cares deeply about me and I help her where she needs it.
Seeing your content since January this year. I met a girl with 7 of this 9 red flags. Basically, it´s enough. Thanks Hamza, again, and again.
What about when it comes to vaping and smoking, would that fall under the same category as taking drugs/drinking?
It definitely does. Ive had a relationship with such a girl. Wasn't a great experience
Yes. Smoking is such a deadshit addiction.
My first girl who I was dating and really loved got to a party with me and our friendgroup. She told me in the middle of the party that she kissed or got kissed by a guy. That night and the day after. I was heartbroken and feeling betrayed and disappointed. The next day I stopped texting her. She was a fun and beautiful girl and I still get a little bit sad when I think about her. I really didn’t expected that from her and I sometimes miss her. But I move on and improve myself more and hope that she will text me first and will care that I don’t text her anymore.
Don't be so harsh, people can change, just tell her you are not supportive if that next time.
@@mikel2976 Because that she betrayed me. I can not look at her the same. I just imagine her kissing a guy when I think about our fun memories. I cannot trust her anymore 😢
She ain't worth it my friend. You'll find a better woman!
IF she got kissed by a guy, is that her fault? Did she make out with him or did he just move in fast and kiss her?Because there's a huge difference. That just happened to ME by a longtime MARRIED guy friend at a (drunken) lake party with friends. He just did it and then we walked away, with him 'understanding' that I was not down for it.
@@annehedonia156 I don't know I was going to the toilet the moment that happend. She just told me that she was drinking Hasta Banana or something like that. Then that guy from her school said 'that there where finally beautiful girls at the party' and mouthed her. I forgave her the next day but then stopped texting with her and till this day (2 days long) she has not yet text me first.
I recently had a 5 year relationship end and was left confused and wondering why, turns out in the last year of the relationship she developed 6 of the 9 red flags listed here, now I'm not so confused 😂
Okay, let's see, my ex:
1. *She doesn't believe in your work*
She believed, more than I did
2. *Your partner is addicted to social media*
Yep, she WAS. Fuck that.
3. *She's not grateful*
All good here.
4. *Colorful hair, a lot of piercing*
Big agree here, she didn't have that.
5. *Sexual history*
Yep, this one was really *BIG* with her. I shouldn't have tolerated that, but I was honestly desperate for a gf, first relationship and everything.
6. *She has promiscuous friends*
50/50 here
7. *Drinking, drugs, degenerate environment*
Drinking is a big one, except we drank together, A LOT. I'm to blame here too. She also had a history with drugs, and even more, she was clear with me with her history of use, so there's that.
8. *Bad relationship with parents*
Yep, big daddy issues here, awful relationship, even though she loved her parents. Perhaps way too much. They aint lying 'bout the bed part though
9. *She's a bit of a loser*
Both of us weren't great on that end. Everything you said matched her.
I wish you are recovering well John.
@@theonlyjl17 I appreciate it! We broke up like 10 months ago, though. The first few months were the worst, but now I'm doing much better.
Still single, but much happier than I was a year ago.
These red flags remind me of my ex I had on 9th grade. I can safely say that I am glad that our relationship ended after a month.
Guys need good dating advice in general, so many are confused. Thanks for posting
my now ex had 6 ouut of these 9 red flags. And the worst thing is that I even watched this video long before we got together but by that time I've already forgot about these red flags. Beauty can really make you blind man
U know the video is legendary where the most replayed part is at 0:00
This video has honestly helped me evaluate my past relationships and think more about the future
my brotheeerrr what the actual fuck was this xD
I like that hamza uses greek names for the good ones
probably coz hes british he just grew up like that
@@keshudana4647 what name would he otherwise?
My tik tok for you page usually includes life advice and I also use it for research that UA-cam can’t give me. Thoughts on this?
EXCEPT WHEN THEY HAVE NATURALLY BLACK HAIR AND RED HIGHLIGHTS the only exception for me lol
I honestly feel #6 applies to everyone in life. If you want a good idea about anyone's personality and character, look at the people they surround themselves with. It can tell you a lot about who you are going to be involved with be it a significant other or even a friend.
When Hamza talked about red flag 8 and talked about how a boy raised by an abusive father ends up becoming an abusive father himself… that hit so hard.
I was 6 when I watched my parents violently divorce in the living room and in my own bedroom. It was stressful to even have to switch between both households per state custody agreements (now divorce is a household topic). I remember if I screwed up in either of my parents’ eyes, I’d get “you’re just like your mom/dad.” Hell I used to endure abuse from my father until the night I turned 18.
But here’s the fucked up part outside of my family - it’s almost trained into people that people who’ve endured abuse become abusers. I mean… I haven’t particularly done anything abusive and questioned after HS graduation if I would be cursed to be like my father or not. But it doesn’t matter to people I guess, no matter how much self reflection I do. In 2015, I got screwed over and betrayed by a former homie (I didn’t find out about his role till several years after the fact) who told a gal I was into and flirting with about my upbringing. She then USED that information to spread a narrative to strangers and my own friends (mutuals or not) that I’m unstable and violent. I got blocked en masse and losing support from a majority of my own friends and given the kinda stare by strangers like I deserved to be thrown into the chair. That was a gut punch that I ended up hating everything and everyone.
Now here I am, 27 years old, and I’ve accepted that I’m a product of crazy. Both my parents are their own blend of fucked up. I still think that a majority of the masses - even to this day - are just bitter cutthroat savages who wouldn’t hesitate to you or each other alive. Now I don’t tolerate weakness or failure, but I’m struggling to rediscover what it means to genuinely connect with anyone anymore. It’s like how 2015 played out ended up fracturing my ability to do so
Dang I rly feel sorry about what happened w ur parents. I haven't been on the same boat as you but I can strongly resonate w u. I hope now u still improving, cheer up
@@luisbendezu6372 basically it just sucks that people’s attitudes towards people who’ve endured abuse is basically “you’re doomed.” It just makes me think “why bother with anyone?”
Im into kinky stuff like belt and a lil abuse in bed. But, I am against hitting a girl honestly cause I have a lil abusive dad. He isnt a rage monster who drinks all the time. But, he gets angry once in awhile in few months.
@@shawnhere7020 so his rage is a quarterly cycle
as a girl i agree in all the things u said, and im trying to change so bad in some stuff
Your partner being addicted to social media. unfortunately the whole earth is addicted.
Imagine your name is Jeffrey, and you are watching Hamza
Yep
People, trust this man. Every single thing he says is 100% on point. I can confirm this from my own experience.
#9 should really be a girl who's a burden/liability to our goals. It's nothing wrong with a girl content and independent.
The more I watch these types of videos, the more I realize just how perfect of a girl I have with me.
Man I love your content and the message of self-improvement that you try to spread and all, but I think the thing about past hookups is kinda unfair. People make decisions they regret when they are older, and I think hookups are the same. A woman might have hooked up with a few men when she was younger, but she could have matured and changed her ways. You judging her for something she did when she probably wasn't even interested in you seems very wrong.
If I may, I'll draw your attention to the point about clubbing, partying and enjoying nightlife. You wouldn't turn away a girl who had done it but doesn't do it anymore, solely because you too have done it. But you'd turn away a girl because she's had a few hookups in the past that she probably regrets. I don't think you're being even-handed here. You judging her on something that even she feels bad about would simply make her feel guilty about something that she can't undo! If she doesn't feel any regret, though, that'd be a red flag in my opinion.
My last ex is all these things...
Thank you Hamza, I've Never thought I'd Reach this point.
How you feel about TikTok is how I use to feel about Snapchat I just genuinely could not take a girl serious who wouldn't delete Snapchat for me. It was to easy to cheat on there before sharing location feature
Just bear in mind that not everybody uses Snapchat for this. I am a girl and I have a Snapchat account. I have 0 friends and 0 snap scores there. And if my boyfriend asks me about deleting it, I wouldn't. Why would I? I like taking pictures with my friends sometimes.
I haven't used Snapchat since 2017. And all I did on it was take pics of friends and draw dicks on them 🤣
Why would you ask someone to delete their social media? It's their life, not yours. You can't ask them that and expect them to say: "oh yes! Sure I'll delete it" Grow up. That's a controlling behavior.
@@t1t100__s I never forced anyone. If they didn't that's fine I just wouldn't date them.
@@jaylenlenear7850 you just explained how you're forcing them lmao
"If you don't do what I want, EVEN if I like, I'll leave you" go seek help.
Stop searching for love. The right one will come on your path to success.
“comparison is the thief of joy”
-Unknown
Another big red flag when she lies about little things, harmless things.
Agree with you
always thought I was in the wrong for having this opinions but it is of immense happiness for me to know that I've like minded brothers.