How I Became REALLY Confident
Вставка
- Опубліковано 19 чер 2024
- Visit audible.com/aliabdaal or text aliabdaal to 500-500 (USA) and start listening with a 30-day Audible trial and your first audiobook.
Confidence is often a nebulous or misunderstood topic among people who believe they lack it and so in this video I'll be going over 9 tips and strategies that have helped me cultivate supreme confidence. Enjoy :)
00:00 Intro
00:47 Appreciate the value of confidence
01:45 Confidence is domain specific
02:50 Fake it until you make it
04:26 Take baby steps
06:28 Confidence is something that you can just have
07:21 Appreciate the spotlight effect
08:47 Everyone is friendly but you have to go first
09:55 Just practice
11:50 Confidence can be learned
MY FREE ONLINE COURSES:
🚀 Productivity Masterclass - Principles and Tools to Boost Your Productivity - go.aliabdaal.com/course/produ...
🎬 Video Editing with Final Cut Pro X - From Beginner to UA-camr - go.aliabdaal.com/course/video...
🎓 How to Study for Exams - An Evidence-Based Masterclass - go.aliabdaal.com/course/studying
PART-TIME UA-camR ACADEMY:
🍿 My 6-week live online course - go.aliabdaal.com/ptya_aliabdaal
CREATORPRENEUR
💰 My flag-ship course for scaling up your creative side-hustle - creatorpreneur.academy/course
UA-cam FOR BEGINNERS COURSE
📸 This is for anyone who'd like to start a UA-cam channel. You'll learn everything you need to get started as a UA-camr including how to script, shoot, and edit your first video - go.aliabdaal.com/course/YouTu...
MY FAVOURITE GEAR:
🎥 My UA-cam Camera Gear - kit.co/AliAbdaal
⌨️ My Keyboard - Wireless Coral mechanical keyboard (Cherry Blue) - go.aliabdaal.com/keyboard
📝 My favourite iPad Screen Protector - Paperlike - go.aliabdaal.com/paperlike
🎒 My Desk Accessories + Todo List - Ugmonk - go.aliabdaal.com/ugmonk
MY FAVOURITE SOFTWARE:
✍️ The best summaries of books (Shortform) - go.aliabdaal.com/shortform
📚 How I remember what I read (Readwise) - go.aliabdaal.com/readwise
🎵 Where I get my Music (amazing for UA-camrs) - go.aliabdaal.com/epidemicsound
Deep Dive Podcast - / deepdivewithaliabdaal
The podcast that delves into the minds of entrepreneurs, creators and other inspiring people to uncover the philosophies, strategies and tools that help us live happier, healthier and more productive lives. You can find it by searching “Deep Dive with Ali Abdaal” on any podcast app (eg: Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts etc).
👻 Where I get my Website Themes from - go.aliabdaal.com/ghost-themes
👻 My personal Ghost Website Theme - go.aliabdaal.com/ghost-theme-ali
🎙 Deep Dive podcast - / deepdivewithaliabdaal
The podcast that delves into the minds of entrepreneurs, creators and other inspiring people to uncover the philosophies, strategies and tools that help us live happier, healthier and more productive lives. You can find it by searching “Deep Dive” on any podcast app (eg: Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts etc).
BE MY FRIEND:
💌 Sign up to my weekly email newsletter - aliabdaal.com/newsletter/
🌍 My website / blog - www.aliabdaal.com
📸 Instagram - / aliabdaal
🐦 Twitter - / aliabdaal
🎮 Twitch - / aliabdaal
WHO AM I:
I’m Ali, a UA-camr, podcaster, soon-to-be author and ex-Doctor working in London, UK. I make videos that explore the strategies and tools that help us live happier, healthier and more productive lives. I also have a weekly podcast with my brother ( / notoverthinking , and I write a weekly email newsletter that contains some quick thoughts + links to interesting things (aliabdaal.com/newsletter/).
🌍 My website / blog - www.aliabdaal.com
GET IN TOUCH:
If you’d like to talk, I’d love to hear from you. Tweeting @AliAbdaal directly will be the quickest way to get a response, but if your question is very long, feel free to email me at hi@aliabdaal.com. I try my best to reply to things but there sadly aren't enough hours in the day to respond to everyone 😭
PS: Some of the links in this description are affiliate links that I get a kickback from 😜
You said once that "no one cares because everyone has their own anxiety and insecurity". That really helped me to become more confident and break the sort of mental block.
Well said
THAT THUMBNAIL 🔥 Okay Ali 🤩
hes faking it, hes probably cringing in his own skin as he takes his own picture.
hey jk lmao
I know right?
honestly wished he kept the suit on in the video 😔👈🏻 or at least just for the intro lmao
I can't click the like button again so 👍
Thank you Ali
Ali: ‘Please stop judging people’
Everybody: Commenting about Ali’s hair 😄
😂🤣 so true! He is such a good sport!!
🤣🤣
Ali out here increasing his opportunity for serendipity, regarding finding a wife with that fresh new cut
😂😂😂😂😂😂😭 for real
YESSSSSSS
the occurrence and development of events by chance in a happy or beneficial way.
"a fortunate stroke of serendipity"
I can't click the like button again so 👍
Oh snap! Never noticed his fresh new cut until you said. He look good!
Ali looks more confident in his new hairstyle 😂
🚨 GRAMMAR POLICE 🚨 sorry it's 'confident', but it doesn't really matter though :)
@@self-proclaimednimwit2263 sorry I liked his hairstyle and I overlooked the error as I was in a hurry to comment 😂
Yes, he looks good with a shorter haircut!
Agree
I know this haircut is nice!
Hey Ali, you're amazing and so inspiring!
- Monica
You are also amazing and inspiring!!!! 💜✨
Psych2go yay!!🙌
You too ♥ I love your channel so much
One legend appreciating another
Big youtubers
Ali just keeps looking better and fitter in every video. I won't be surprised if one day I see a video titled " How I found a girlfriend/wife by being handsomely productive! "
😂😂
And that video will double his subscribers ☀️
Productively handsome*
Can we just admit ali's hair look awesome here... Best I can say.
I was just wondering the same thing✨
Agreed.
Agree
I can't click the like button again so 👍
🙌🏻🤩
Confidence is a muscle you exercise by leaving your comfort zone and realizing that it's actually not that bad. Discomfort is all in your head (and so is your confidence). You choose.
So true. Did this come from experience for you?
@@AustinSchrock definitely! Especially with public speaking.
This is a cool way to think about it!
Would you say it’s possible to have confidence, but not self-esteem? As in, I feel confident enough to think/act on my own and be confident in public, but internally I don’t think too greatly about myself and sometimes doubt my abilities. Is this just “fake it till you make it” in disguise?
@@ember7815 that’s a great question! I think it is possible, depending on how you define confidence and self-esteem.
I see confidence as your belief in your different areas of expertise. For example, let’s say I’m confident about my knowledge of video games. This lets me feel comfortable discussing video games. In contrast, I feel less confident about math, so I feel less comfortable discussing math.
I see self-esteem as your self-worth: how much you “like” yourself. How much you like yourself can be based on your confidence in different areas. If you value what others think of you, your self-esteem may correlate with how confident your are conversing with other people. Or it can be unrelated. Example: I don’t care about math, so my self-esteem isn’t affected by my low math confidence.
I can see people being confident conversationalists with low self-esteem for different reasons. I can also see people being unconfident conversationalists with high self-esteem.
That’s how I see it, but I could be wrong 😉
(Sorry if this comment is incoherent. I’m not too confident writing at 1am 😆)
@@alexmaximizingtime Ahh I see, that’s really an insightful way to put it! That makes sense though, I’ve always thought self-esteem and self-confidence were more or less the same thing, but that makes so much more sense as to why I’ve felt at different levels with either of them. Thanks for taking the time to explain it! Even at such a productive time as 1 a.m.😏
(also I see what you did there haha)
"The actions of confidence come first; the feelings of confidence come later.” - Russ Harris
Wish you all best of luck in getting the confidence you want :)
Loved the book confidence gap!
Yes. Love :-D
can you change your mindset without doing anything physical? like is it possible to just wake up somehow thinking differently
@@ieatalot4189
No, sadly not really, it's always a process.
Ali, i just started learning how to code 3 days ago...thanks to you !✨
"Generally, people are friendly. It's just that people are scared of going first. " Loved this.
My confidence came from something my mother taught me, the same thing that Kobe spoke about before he died. He basically said in an interview "you have to do challenging things as early in your life and as often in your life as possible, because the skill you acquire from it, will build confidence in you. And it becomes even more intense once you receive positive reinforcement from others, about that impressive skill". I've been playing piano since 13 and have delivered countless performances that leave people applauding in tears. this boosted my confidence (and ego) sooo much as a young man lool. *Do challenging things*. I hope this helps. Love you Ali!
Great comment
1. confidence is competence. when learning to drive or even ride a bike you are not confident until you get more experience at doing it.
2. mind follows body, body follows mind. if you stand or sit in a more confident manner taking up more space then you will feel more confident.
3.the only validation you need is your own. stop worrying what others are thinking of you, just remember you think you are awesome. instead of making it about you, be curious about others.
To everybody reading this. Let’s get successful 😉
👍
Ali is every mother’s dream son
1 Appreciate the value of confidence in different areas of life
2 Confidence is domain-specific - try to remember how you felt in domains where you are confident
3 Fake it until you make it - confident looks the same from the outside in whether real or faked - and faking it will improve your confidence
4 Take baby steps - start slow with easy tasks and work your way up
5 Confidence is something that you can choose to have - working on it just helps to bring this out
6 Appreciate the spotlight effect - nobody cares that much and if they do they're an arsehole - and don't judge others
7 Everyone is friendly but you have to go first - takes the first step and introduce yourself
8 Just practice - ask questions at end of lectures and talks
9 Confidence can be learned
Thanks
Thank
dont know why u got less like u deserve more likes thanks for best summary
The power of knowing where you want to improve and how to break it down and go about it (like you have done with your confidence) is unrivalled!
I have taught myself confidence over the years. From having a stage fright to be the host of huge college events, I came a long way but there is always always room for improvement.
Perfect timing on this video, confidence is probably one of the most valuable skills/traits to pick up in this world. Ali is so wise and inspirational 😮
This video was really helpful, and had some great pointers! I remember that I read a line somewhere that said “Don’t fake it ‘till you make it, fake it ‘till you become it” and I thought that was a really interesting idea; there isn’t a point where you become confident, its an entire process and if you do something enough eventually you won’t have to fake it, it will just come to you naturally.
For real Ali, thanks for putting yourself out there and help us strive to become our best selves. You've inspired loads of people like me to try and trail our own paths in life.
"Fake it until you make it" is what I put in my mind every time I create a new video on my new UA-cam channel. All tips are incredibly valuable... thanks, Ali.
These tips are so true and helpful Ali! I've found in many situations (mostly group ones) that if I start talking to people before they start talking to me, it breaks my "shy" barrier and I come across as more confident which in turn makes that person see me as confident. It's like a virtuous circle. BTW, love the new haircut. Very swish!
To be honest I have always felt so shy since my childhood. I was an awkward kid. Well ,after making myself embarrassed for so many times, I tried changing myself and whatever u just said is so relatable Ali Bhai, I'm still on my way to being more confident and how u explain and play with words is so beautiful. Thankyou for this.
Confidence for me comes from being really good at something. Over the last 4 years, I lost about 40 pounds, gained muscle, and got a CFA which landed me a job that I love. I think my confidence comes from being in good shape and great at my job.
Recently, I’ve started liking these videos even more. I just like the way your videos are made and how you give past examples, experiences and mindsets which you had in particular points in time of your life. They just make this so much more relatable and you seem so much of a good person.
It's great to watch early Ali videos to now to see just how much his camera presence has improved. Shows that anyone can do something better when they're consistent over long periods of time.
Was literally thinking about how to increase my confident yesterday then Ali puts out a vid about it today😊
I’m so glad that I’m not the only one that can turn on or turn off their confidence. I gained all my confidence by faking it till I made it. 💯 agree.
How to fake confidence??
I instinctively did that until I hit the mental illness barrier several years ago. I was able to postpone my "dread" for after the "show" and i never realized how its useful. Im still recovering from social phobia and Ali actually provides a really good step to step reminder for me. Although i must say that this might not work for everyone as I'm an extrovert myself
@@calenduar social phobia 😰 i also suffer bcz of it any advice you wanna give ?
You can do that, but still, I think confidence is way deeper than that, like really appreciate who you are and the fact that, no matter what, you are trying!
Also, confidence is not about hiding vulnerabilities, it's being open and comfortable about them, because ot means you don't care about other people's opinion.
And finally, it's perfectly normal to feel insecure or uncomfortable from time to time, don't feel like you are weird or anything, you are not, we are all together in this voyage called life, trying to find our way.
So yeah, fake it until you make it it's a cool tip, but I wanted to point out that real confidence is way more deep and we all should aspire to take that difficult road to know better ourselves and start to appreciate us for who we are!
@@ayezaabbasi5599 keep in mind what Ali said about the spotlight effect, people don't notice everything you do and they don't really care, cause they are thinking mainly about them.
Then, remeber that the feeling of discomfort you are experiencing in a social situation will eventually go away after 30 minutes let's say, just try to "fake it until you make it" in that brief period of time, until you start to really feel comfortable.
Then, read my comment above about true confidence, you need to build real self worth by doing things you like, trying to be a good person daily, etc.
For me, for example, working out helped me a lot, 'cause I learned the value of discipline and that the best things in life come out of hard work!
One last thing, being confident doesn't mean you don't have any insecurities, but it's about you face them and knowing that no matter what, you will not be stopped by them!
I hope this was useful!
you're the most inspiring person I've seen .. btw those two months are gonna define my future ... wish me luck guys
Wife hunt stacking the deck in progress...
New haircut -> check
Becoming buff -> check
Trying on flattering clothes -> check (that suit thumbnail is lit!)
Aaaa I read how to win friends book and it was so good. I feel so much better about myself when listening to your videos as it gives me Confidence. A lot of things you mentioned I resonate with and it almost is about me, yet it’s not (spotlight effect lol). Great video, and by the way- the thumbnail screams confidence! There is something about smart clothes that makes people look more confident and smart instantly! Well done
Your timing is perfect. I've been struggling a little bit with my self-confidence these days haha
The spotlight effect and going first are really important concepts to understand here. Thanks Ali.
Thanks for inspiration Ali! I was strugglimg to start my own channel about visual thinking, but with each of your videos my willingness to start rises. And yes i didnt start yet because of confidence issues that plague me for my entire life. Thanks again for your content! :)
These are outstanding tips to not only gain self confidence but also overcome shyness and improve social skills with small baby steps!👏
"Fake it until you make it" has work magic sometimes for me.
Thank you for your inspiring videos!
How so? I've had a bit of a reaction to this at times, but I'm open-minded about it so your perspective would be appreciated. Thank you for your time.
@@AustinSchrock I think it takes courage to “fake it” as well. I can’t “fake” it all the time. But I think when I have the courage to “fake” it, things mostly turn out good. When I put myself out there, I am creating an environment to push myself to where I wanted. It’s a good cycle in my opinion.
That thumbnail, i was like 😉😉🙈
Really enjoyed this video, Ali. I have totally been there while being terrified asking questions during medical school and can definitely say that the more you do it the more comfortable you get.
Please upload much more, i was waiting the whole week for a new video because i have my highschool finals in a month and so depressed but i watch your videos to get motivated💪🙏🙏
Ali has helped me become successful 😊 👏🏽 🙏🏾
Yeah he makes good videos
@@DrOgbeEdward yep!
Hey Ali! I really appreciate that your videos are getting better day by day and it is a pleasure to watch them ❤️
I love how humble you are in your videos Ali. Keep up the great work ☺️
Confidence is the strongest characteristic to have, it helps you to use all your other abilities more
Confidence and empathy are both at the top for me. Did you find this to be true in your own experience?
Ali is an absolute Chad with that new haircut! 👏🏻
Yeass
Wth is that
@@hollygraham2890 being an alpha male
The points about going first and faking it are so crucial!
I think we often miss so many opportunities because we create these tough scenarios in our minds, that scare us from taking action. Firmly believe that just practicing a smile and "hi, I'm (blank)" can help build confidence into muscle memory!
Omg 😱 10:27 that's literally me
Even in zoom meetings when no one's seeing 😂
New haircut + suit + Ali's confidence= 2x intimidating Ali...no wonder how Sheen stays with such an intimidating guy lol!!
Ali's advice is a toned-down, calmer version of Gary Vaynerchuk's advice....and I appreciate that ♥️
I used to be confident though, but since people surrounds me (including family) keep discouraging me, I lose it. They would say that I'm a weirdo, "don't be overconfident", you and your mindset are wrong, and so on.
It's hard to build again confident after decades being treated like that, but thanks to some of my amazing friends that trust me I can do what I want to achieve, I gained back my confidence! And Ali's contents makes me more confident in my process to achieve my goal!
You have to get rid of that people from your life then. Even if thats your family. Sounds hard but it is what you need to do
Confidence is one of the key factor for successs I think. I had times when my self-confidence peaked and I managed to do and enjoy lots of things in life, and times when I questioned my abilities and struggled to achieve what I want since I was afraid to lose. Still on the way to get back my confidence, thanks Ali for the tips:)
Before the video even started, I have to say his hair looks on point :)
Man you are improving so many lives!!! This video is so brilliantly spanned out!
Agree
“Fake it until you make it” This is going to be my new motto. This video really helpful. Thank you so much for sharing those information.
You are just giving us a hope that we can be confidant thank you ali 💗💗
Thank you soo much for all your tips. Appreciate it :)
Your confidence story inspires many to be self-confident. Thank you.
Totally agree with going first. Such a great way to expand a network and get to know new people.
I love how all of your tips are soo easy to apply and well thought out! Love your videos Ali! 🙌🏻
Oh My Goddd this new haircut is killing me ❤️❤️❤️
Also the thumbnail 🔥🔥🔥🔥❤️❤️❤️❤️🔥🔥🔥🔥
ER doctor here ! Great video ! I like the advice on going first. I believe in that, specially in medicine you will be placed in unfamiliar settings and you have to be able to talk and ask and get things done. People forget but aside from being relatively smart for medicine you need to be a people person. ;) Keep up the work everyone !
Can’t believe people like you really exist! You are such an inspiration. At least covid has some benefit by leading me to discover you. Keep up good work man. ❤️😎
Ali is legit one of the reasons why I’ve started my UA-cam channel! King 👑
All the best
@@IshaSharma11 thank you!!
Same here 👍🥰
Ali was a huge reason I still have a channel! Such a powerhouse of motivation for me.
nice video. one advice, stay grounded. meet and hang-on with people you admire, superstars, so you always keep yourself humble. there is always the risk you get full of yourself.
Love how you talk about it being a skill. Never thought about it like that before
What perfect steps to follow! I wrote those steps down in my journal. I guess I'll be more confident soon.
Thanks, Ali, you're the best.
When i started UA-cam, my heart used to beat like crazy during recording but now i am kinda chill with it
Hi Ali! Would you be able to do a Part 2 of this? Building Charisma, Confidence and Communication. It will be super helpful for everyone whether student, corporate career or entrepreneur! Needless to say, love your content which immensely helps.
Thanks for your wisdom and positive influence Ali
This new look is totally awesome Ali, I really like your content. Watching one of your videos is never a waste of time. I always learn something new.
I think the real caveat to 'fake it till you make it' is that in the LONG RUN, it's difficult to keep faking it and eventually it will come across as people are perceptive. So yes, do fake it till you make it but always be seeking to ACTUALLY be more confident as well.
Ali: How I became more Confident?
Me: How I became more smarter after watching Ali?
Keep making more content Ali, love the type of value you're giving to the UA-cam community.
- From Malaysia 🇲🇾
Yeas
I saw (heard) you talk about rsd on ur podcast and started watching them too. But this video just shows how simple it is and you don’t need techniques. Top quality
6:40 "Confidence is not something you build"
10:00 "Confidence is a skill that can be improved"
if you say anything confidently, anyone will believe you 😋
I came for the suit in your thumbnail, aaaaaand you're wearing a hoody. CLICKBAIT, GOOD SIR.
Also, fresh haircut.
Truth... whoever is on for thumbnail design needs a raise
👀😂🤷🏻♀️
I have always lacked confidence in terms of explaining my ideas and socializing. Since I feel like it's really essential for the future, such as becoming a doctor, it's definitely worth building on. Thanks Ali for making this video!
His confidence he presents in his videos is the reason I subscribed and continue to watch no matter the video topic.
It is simple, Ali posts a new video and we all immediately click in 💡
Loving the hair, Ali.
Today it wasn't the Ali i used to see before. He has changed ,he has improved his life ,proud of you my fav ❤️ youtuber Ali
Amazing video Ali! Your production quality pushed me to make better videos 😊 keep up the incredible work
3:05 Pretty sure the book you were trying to remember was “the wrongless approach” you’ve mentioned it before in another video. Good stuff tho.
Really so helpful
Thanks for sharing this video
Great video. I'm intrigued by how early in your life you managed to articulate that 'thing' you needed to develop was confidence. Giving something a name makes it so much easier to work on.
Found this channel yesterday and hey I'm just loving the content out here! It is adding value to my life. Thanks Ali! Cheers! ✨
FUN FACT : Ali's Sexual Market Value where waay off the charts in this videos Thumbnail 😂🔥
I came here to comment the same but you beat me 😂
😂😂😂
I thought Ali was awkward and cute. But his confidence is exemplified by the thumbnail on that ‘Cardistry’ video. 🌝
All your videos are so informative and useful, Thankyou Ali!
I loved the lighting in this video - it looks so crisp! Love it!
Confidence comes from Competence because when you know what to do you don't overthink.
The enemy of Confidence is doubt, doubt is fear, fear is stress, stress is the cue that you don't know enough because otherwise, you'd act.
Amazing 😍 Greetings from Scotland 😊 Have a wonderful day everyone 🌻
Love your new hair style Ali !
You’re the best UA-camr out there Ali. Your videos never disappoint.
I think I've been a pretty confident person for the most part of my life and yes unknowingly I've been doing ALL the things that you mentioned in the video. My peers would sometimes ask me how I do it but I never understood why THEY think they couldn't do it. I have many logical answers now, thanks a lot ❤️
It’s been so long that I now read Audible as Ali Abdal with my brain reading at 2x the normal speed. Those two names have become synonyms now.
Thank you Ali really needed this today
Great video Ali! You have helped me a lot
dang the fact that he can be vulnerable but with confidence is SO cool to me holyy