I identify as a cisgender woman. When I was in middle school I questioned my gender HEAVILY as I was also coming to the conclusion that I was queer at the time, and I was trying to navigate those spaces. In high school I began to feel more aligned with the concept of girlhood, and i became increasingly feminine (I’m aware clothes don’t equal gender, this is just my experience). When I came to the conclusion that I was cis, I felt almost guilty. I saw people online try and take stories like mine out of context to try and invalidate or “disprove” being trans in general, when I was merely exploring the concept of gender and came to the conclusion that the term cisgender suited me best. My story does not reflect the experiences of all gender questioning or gender queer people. I am now currently doing my best to be as good of an ally as I can to the trans community 🏳⚧❤
A bit late to the comment but i had a similar experience. My questioning mostly came from my insecurity but that doesn't mean that everyone's experience is like that. You could say that for me it was "just a phase" but i believe i needed to go through all that questioning to find myself you know?
This is very similar to my experience of gender! I came to it from a more spiritual / religious perspective (that we're all just amorphous blobs of light plodding around in these meat suits during this specific lifetime), and for many years, I was very headstrong about making sure that everyone used my pronouns, but I've come to realize that - while education around pronouns & trans issues is vital - I'm just going to continue to be miserable if I let other people's lived experiences invalidate my own. I value meeting other people where they're at, not in a self-deprecating way, but in a way that says "I'm aware that not everyone understands / accepts transness, and I get to love myself enough to not let it make me miserable."
Is there much difference in logic if you for instance felt you were a black person? Genuine question, not trolling. It seems you could identify as black with the same logic. You might even have complete white family background, then be born with darker skin. If you identified as black, would it take away from the identity and heritage of people classically considered black? If an oppressed group have struggled on despite persecution, then people without the same history of struggle decide they can also be that identity, then doesn't it devalue the original meaning? There is less biologically stopping anyone identifying as black than as the opposite gender. I know this is more a trans thing than a non binary thing, but as far as trans - there are no true racial separations, only humans. 'Race' is a spectrum, if you will. Sex is very binary with RARE exceptions. And gender is in the mind. So what's wrong with a female just accepting who they are, or even making adjustments to their looks but still realising they're the same person? Why not just call it looks and ideas and preferences and personality and being unique? What's wrong with a boy or girl just being uniquely themselves until they're old enough to consent to medical alterations? If a child said they would end it all unless they got boob implants, then should surgery ever be the answer for that crisis in a still developing young mind? If a body hasn't finished developing then that includes the mind and ability to consent to long term decisions right? I feel sorry for disabled people having to hear so many people obsess about their identity and how they're in the wrong body etc. Are disabled people just born 'in the wrong body'? Or is it just who they are and how they turned out, and it's probably best to identify as themselves even if they would love new legs or not to have a condition? Denial or identifying as something they are not in that case would seem unproductive and ultimately stacking the odds against any positive sense of self or acceptance and peace. Would love to hear thoughts on this, as I can't make it fit with what I understand as rational reasoning or logic. What do you understand by the phrase 'the exception that proves the rule?'?? ❤
As a genderfluid teenager holy shit this was so so helpful. I’ve always been really confused with my gender and my gender identity. I would find pronouns that worked for me and then…they just didn’t feel right anymore. I always assumed I was just confused and I’d figure it out one day, but this helped me so much, and it made me more comfortable/confident with my identity :3
I’m so glad you have discovered yourself in this way, and sounds so fluid and spiritual - I love it! I am a trans man (25) but I am pre t and pre op and my Dysphoria couldn’t be worse. When I see myself in the mirror I feel physically sick. This is not the body my soul was supposed to be matched with and I hate it. It especially sucks that I’m on a female psych ward and they call us, collectively, ‘ladies’ or ‘girls’ and it makes me feel so left out. The hospital has got a lot better at not misgendering me but there is a long way to go
as a young genderfluid person who’s still discovering who they are, i’m so grateful for you, you’ve helped me to realise i’m a genderfluid lesbian (yes it’s possible guys)
Hi! Thanks for sharing :) I'm genderfluid, use he/they/she pronouns, and am nearly always femme presenting. I used to experience gender dysphoria without realizing that's what it was, but i've done a ot of self love work to get to a place where I nearly always am happy with my body/gender/expression. there are moments when different pronouns feel more right than others but i never mind when people use any of the three options because I know they are true to me at some point in time if not in this exact moment. I always describe my gender experience by saying I can wear the same dress on three different days and one day I look in the mirror and think, "wow.. the epitome of womanhood, here in this dress, feeling the experiences of my mother and her mother before her. all is right in the world. I am strong and beautiful." another day I'll look in the mirror wearing the same dress and think, "oh, oh yes. finally I have achieved the look I've long admired from a distance in pop stars and drag queens and alternative scenes. I am a man in a dress. I am representing the queer/femme men that came before me. all is right in the world. I am strong and beautiful." and yet another day I'll look at the same image in the mirror and think, "omg, this dress is so cute! I am so lucky to be a person who owns this dress. I can twirl in it and it has pockets, should make one just like it so that I can practice my sewing and leave something physical for those to keep long after I have left this earth. all is right in the world. I am strong and beautiful."
Omg, I have the same experience but with masc clothing. I'm either a cool teenage boy, an elf warrior or a girl boss in the same clothing on different days ✨
I love your content so much! I've been an out bisexual for a little over a year now, but in the past few months, I've come out as genderfluid. I am male by birth but I can identify with women quite a bit. Thank you for your amazing videos! Sending you love!
Hey Keara, (Sorry for the essay!) I’ve actually been following you for 4 years now, wow. (That may not seem like that long but I’m only 17.) I actually figured out that I’m genderfluid/nonbinary/trans not long before you posted the first of your online vids talking about your own genderfluidity. That was so cool to see! Our experiences differ a fair bit though, I use genderfluid as a label because my gender shifts around the gender spectrum (it’s not a day to day thing, I wish it was that simple). I think there are a lot of trans people who might not ever get to that place of f*ck everyone else I know who I am, though I think it would be beneficial. I know I won’t get to that place. There’s part of me that does think that when I get misgendered but as you said it just makes you feel crap. I think when I feel better about gender dysphoria about my body it’ll be easier not to care. I’m on testosterone, my one year anniversary is next month! And the t has helped, but I’m waiting for top surgery and I know that’ll be a game changer. I know what you mean about experiencing things as a female, I’m an AFAB but use he/they pronouns and experiencing things like misogyny hits different when you know you aren’t even a girl but you’re too busy mortified to talk back to them. Even though I don’t identify as a man I’m hoping once my voice gets deeper and my beard grows in probably people will start calling me ‘he’. That way even if they mistakenly think I’m a man, at least I’m being gendered correctly. I was glad to hear more of your experience, though I hope you understand that body related gender dysphoria is not something that can go away without medical treatment. I don’t think you were trying to say that, but I didn’t want others to misconstrue what you meant. I think, what I refer to as ‘social gender dysphoria’ (word related dysphoria) can be helped with some extra self confidence, like you said. Hope that made sense? Not at all trying to have a go, just wanted to make sure people understand that trans health care is still necessary And needed. Thank you for sharing Keara! I love what you do with your platform! And I really wasn’t trying to offend. 😬. From Phoenix. ❤
I’m an asexual biromantic and I’m still questioning my gender, but I feel like I’m agender or genderfluid. Like you said about how you feel your soul looks that’s how I’ve been feeling for the past month trying to figure this out. This video really helped me tho. Ilysm❤️
I also have the similar journey as yours do as I’m also genderfluid with she/they/he pronouns but mostly use she/they and they/she the most as I have reach the he pronoun and he level yet but I do use they/them when feeling both masc and femme combine and including he/they on the days I felt like an masc/nonbinary some sort of an demiboy type of side. I still have not embrace my gender fully and the masc stuff that comes to my gender identity due to my parents, whom I still haven’t come out again for the second time as I did came out to them as bi at 17 forcefully. I did gave them hints about liking male clothing and items as a way to me coming out to them and they still haven’t came to realization. Yet, at the time I was not knowing what is my sexuality while I was self isolating that I don’t know who am I anymore and what’s my identity due to my mental health, depression and anxiety. Even tho I did attempt to come out to my parents separately than together since I realized I’m genderfluid. Ive been genderfluid since early September 2022 as from September to December, I was mostly figuring it out what’s my gender AND also my sexualities, thanks to this former situationship who’s on the beginning journey of becoming an transgender ftm that opened my eyes. I was inbetween genderfluid and genderqueer because i don’t know which one fits me the most and I did dig up online, such as UA-cam, google and TikTok about different genders until I came across you and other genderfluid content creators/influencers. Back in October or November while I’m on my journey of exploring my gender, I came to realize my sexualities are pansexual and demisexual due to also my past experiences and also glimpses that shows pansexuality throughout my mid-teens to now while I already taken off the label of bi. At late December 2022 and coming January 2023, that’s when I came to accept and embrace my genderfluidity. Back in June, a month ago, I got a sudden gender dysphoria all of the sudden due to my mom judging me because of my sideburns are cut short by me as I decided to do it to see how’s it like to be a bit masc which I loved it and happy that I did it. I’d been having gender dysphoria for days that i don’t know what to do anymore by questioning myself, especially when my parents, mostly and mainly my mom, wanted me to be more and dress more feminine as I’ve been dressing androgynous for years and act as a “woman” when deep down I’m hiding my gender fluid identity. I am still not backing down from letting go of my gender identity and go back to the womanhood as I’m super proud of my identity and also gender identity and I truly thankful that I came to see this yours that just uploaded that relates to the genderfluid journey. I appreciate you ❤
Thank you so much for validating my soul. Ive began feeling genderfluid after finally leaving my house for college life and it helped so much to see ur videos. Many ppl rarely talk of genderfluid but it makes sense in our way. We can say we're gendrfluid when one aec, we r a she and the next we r a he. My friends r all supportive tho confused. Im used to being called she and her by not only my family but how ppl see me as i am. But when im feeeling masculine and they call me he, i feel so empowered. I simply dislike ppl calling me a Woman, a Girl or a daughter. I feel like those words force me and cause serious dsyphoria. Instead, i like being called the Child of someone or that kind worker or classmate. Thanks so much for continuing such updates
As a fellow Canadian, July is my second-least favorite month. 30 Celsius is too regular an occurrence. (On a stream today, someone in Egypt told us his neighborhood was at 41 Celsius and I replied "how do you human? what does humaning in that temperature feel like?") From what you've described, the female experience in your Dobby soul was a ticking time bomb. It was dysmorphia waiting to happen from the outset. Dobby cannot be a free elf under those conditions. I'm happy for your ability to move through it, and not give identity shamers the time of day anymore. An experience last year taught me something on the way most people approach identity. Being bisexual in a smaller city, I'm very tactical with who knows (same reason I don't use my real name here on YT) so when I trusted someone enough to come out to him and he replied, "ohh you mean gay, you say you're bi but really you're just gay" ... at first it came off as obnoxious. But then I realized: ohh, you're just so angry at how much work it is to grasp other people's identities that you're just not trying. Okay then, if you don't care, neither do I. Trying to match the opinions of others with your own body's comfort level is a game with too many players. Don't play. Your body is better off not being a game. Hopefully I'm making sense. So yeah, the black and white boxes for sexuality and gender can be left out in the rain, especially if they're left on your doorstep with "PICK ONE" in big black marker on them.
Hi, I'm a freshly cracked egg. I lived a very sheltered life being forced into traditional gender roles by family, friends, region, school, work, society at large, etc. to the point that being trans was about as far removed from my radar as it could've been. I knew nothing about it other than that for some reason everyone around me hated it so much. I thought I should too. As I have gotten older, I have come to realize just how trans I've been my whole life. I'm genderfluid and AFAB as well. My fluidity is very much like water. It takes many different forms. Sometimes, I'm full fem energy. Often, full masc energy. Sometimes, some weird combo of both. Sometimes, neither at all. Sometimes, I'm very enby while other days I stereotypically fit into one box or another. Always quite queer though. Expression is important to me. I was always forced to wear traditionally feminine clothes when I wanted boy clothes more often than not. This very much helped me feel better about my experience and let me know I wasn't alone in the struggle of being forced into a woman shaped box all my life when I more often than not identified with the other gender and wanted so badly to express it. I know you may never read this comment but thank you. ♥
I’m a young genderfluid person and I was genuinely so happy when I found your channel! I’m also (I thinkkkkkk) bisexual. I told my parents I was bisexual and it went kinda well but I haven’t told them I’m genderfluid yet. It’s kinda a different thing, bc you can kinda like just go “oh u like girls and boys. Cool!” And move on. Like it doesn’t rly affect their view of you (or it shouldn’t) but telling someone you like want to use different pronouns or a different name changes their idea and view of you. My friend knows, and they’re rly supportive! (It’s kinda funny, we both told each other about how we didn’t feel cis at all and we sort of arrived at our conclusions together-they’re genderqueer-) but they told their mum and it went sorta well and I was rly happy for them! But I don’t know when I might tell my parents. I don’t know if I will tell them. It’s kinda hard especially bc like I rely on my parent so much in everyday life. Idk. Recently I got my hair cut, and it makes me super happy. It’s a kinda fem bob, with no layers or fringe, but it means my hair gets kinda curly and then it looks like a long masc haircut, which is rly cool. I went through a kinda horribly depressing period of being rly rly masc. I was born a girl, so I have all the……parts which means that when I feel more masc, I get extremely dysphoric. But rn Idrk what my gender is, but Ik I’m not that masc rn. I did kinda wanna say- that the way my gender and sexuality worked for a while (and is still kinda working) is that if I felt more masc, I would be much more attracted to guys than girls and if I felt more fem then I’d be much more attracted to girls. But whenever I felt like neither, or maybe both, I felt nothing for anyone. It’s kinda weird. Like I’m a gay man, lesbian woman and asexual enby all in one. It’s weird, but it’s me :)
can i still identify as genderfluid tho most days i feel no connection to a certain gender and the only thing that changes is how i want to be perceived?
I love this, Keara. You really helped me figure myself out from genderfluid to transmasc. I think your videos are so useful, even though your experiences differ from mine in a lot of ways. Thank you. :)
I feel like my soul would be a little hyperactive kid with all the gender vibes AHHAHAHA I also love how you visualise yours 😂🩵 And I also get the feeling of identifying with the female experience because of how society perceives you and how you've lived for many years in the society and in relation to others as a "woman"
I am AMAB genderfluid person with a strong lean to transfem side (still closeted bc of where i live, sigh) and i really dig your Dobby metaphor. I also see myself and would very much like to be percieved as a genderless concept. As a friendly cartoon character whose gender really only means if they would have eyelashes. Though i feel very gendered in relation to my body. I'm not gonna go into details, but in general i'd most likely not be able to resist a fey's offer to make me able to switch between different gender forms. Though i doubt i'd ever switch to a truly neutral form.
I have gotten to a similar place where I have realised that the lenses people wear that they see me and my gender through have *nothing to do with me*, and though it was and often still is frustrating, its kind of freeing to know that I have no control over how people see me. It’s about them, not me. Isnt that nice? 😅 I have struggled with labels since day 1 of my journey so I relate to your comments on that as well and I haven’t/don't use them. I prefer to focus on communicating how I would like to be called, rather than pinning down an answer to the dreaded "what are you" question. I figure, if they are sincere, they will treat me like a fellow human and attempt to call me the way I'd like to be called even if I don't satiate their desire to sort me.
When talking about gender and biological sex, I've often heard the same terms used for both. Maybe it would gain more understanding to one set of terms for biological sex and another set for gender identity. For instance, using male, female, and intersex for biological sex; and using masc, femme, enby, and fluid for gender identity. Separating which terms refer to which topic might help to separate those concepts in people's minds.
I am a non binary genderfluid person who gets hated by people especially friends and I use the pronouns They and Them. they would often mis gender me with calling me she.
I resonate with you so so so much! I love you! You are awesome! I'm also very spiritual and I just feel like a soul without gender, but gender isn't that important. I also identify as non-binary because that is just how I feel. But I'm also gender fluid because sometimes I do feel more male or female. But I don't want to get always called girl or woman. I am who I am! I use ze/zir or they/them or even she/her but I'm more comfortable with any gender neutral pronouns. I'm also pansexual, demisexual and demi-romantic. I love your Videos and podcasts! They really speak to my soul! Keep going!
I relate to the part where you said " I did not want to be treated as a woman“. For me it was a matter of hating the restrictions society/other people like to place on women - "oh you shouldn't do xyz b/c you're a woman, it's not ladylike!" At it's core, I think it's about wanting to just be treated as a person rather than shoved into a box with a fixed set of behaviors that you're supposed to enact or avoid.
Thank you for this podcast very much. I felt really warm and comfortable with myself in spite of i don't quite relate to this story it's still beautiful. You're have such a wonderful personality and mind and I'm grateful for this❤
hi, so I’ve been watching your videos often on for a little while now and I started watching your channel when I was questioning my own gender identity. For a little while I thought I was non-binary and then I told my mom and she told me that she thought that I was still questioning. I agreed with her and I agree with her to this day. I’m pretty sure I’m a cisgender girl, but I am still questioning a little bit.
Dear fellow gremlin, thank you for this ✨ For me, I'm at the stage of being angry that ppl don't see the boy in me that I see in the mirror on my male days of my genderfluid rollercoaster 🎢
This was great, Keara, thank you! ❤🥰 I came here rn because I was about to send my friend your Clementine cover to listen to (because we've been sending each other songs we love) and I wanted to make sure I was using your current pronouns, and I was like oooh, this video should have that info, but then I stayed and watched the whole video because, well, it's you, and I couldn't justify leaving until I finished it because as always you are an amazing soul!!! 😍❤️🙏❤️🥰
I love when ppl tell how they see themselves, their souls, so i can see them like how they would like to be seen!^^ I see my soul as a happy lil star for some reason 🌟 I love your vids, thx for sharing your journey! I'm genderfluid too and i really resonate c:
I saw you on FT. You definitely made an impact. Regarding "boxes", eh. I am Canadian but now live in Mexico. I've lived in 7 countries and can tell you, labels & age, eh. What matters is how true of a person you are, 'cause labels are labels & "age is just a number". Society varies from country to country, and as Abe Lincoln said, “You can please some of the people all of the time, you can please all of the people some of the time, but you can't please all of the people all of the time”. So, God bless you/may the powers of the universe guide you and help you continue your acting path/other. You are a FORMIDABLE actor (if you prefer, actress).
*finds this video 2 days after posting my own genderfluid coming out video* Thank you Algorithm. You're description of your gender was as close as I could have imagined it to be, without it being my individual experience. 😂
Hi Keara:) you talked about experiencing body dysmorphia and dysphoria in the past. You have done a lot of content about body image and body dysmorphia lately and i was wondering, from your experience and perspective, how did or do you manage to tell if feeling bad about your body is due to body dysmorphia or body dysphoria? I had top surgery a few weeks ago and i know it was the best decision i ever made for myself (my pronouns are he/they by the way), but i'm still struggling to understand where to draw the line between dysphoria and dysmorphia. Thank you if you take the time to read this, i'm sending you love from Quebec:)
im partly cisgender woman partly agender and use only she/it pronouns!! sapphic from toes to the head :з and am not really sure if i'll ever feel sexual stuff with somebody so maybe ace but DEF NOT aro cause i love loving women
That is what happened in a school here in Ireland the teacher would not have respect for a transgender student and wouldn't use the proper pronouns because he's religion
Thank you kindly for sharing. Per chance more "familiar with YinYang 陽陰" concept of DUALITY as such ebbs & flows, throughout time and space, hence the fluid nature of any such Dichotomy.
We have categories in a language for a reason. When we become inclusive to the point where our terms lose their meaning, language loses its utility. The concept of gender doesn’t make a lot of sense to me but I am still thinking through it. When I look at you I recognize you are someone i could reproduce with and so are a woman. If a man tells me he is a woman he is reducing the utility of the language for me. I think women and men can have all roles available to them except for gamete production which defines the words woman and man. I don’t know what it means to have a transcendent gender.
She brought them to court the teacher had to pay it or 900 of a fine for going back to the school and that's fine went up every single day to near 8000
If you watch any video of someone talking about their personal experience or healing journey, you are likely to hear a lot of the word "I" as they are talking about themselves. And in terms of trans people "being narcissistic" - most marginalized people experience being stereotyped and discriminated against in society, being told who they are. so most marginalized people go through a lot of self-reflection and have to do identity development to form a healthy sense of self, which can involve a lot of thinking about oneself. That does not qualify narcissism, but that also depends if you are talking about the actual clinical experience or colloquially referring to anyone who thinks about themselves as narcissistic. for people who are cis, or white, or any privileged identity that aligns with dominant culture, they don't have to do all of that self reflection because their internal experience matches up more with the narratives society says about people.
Found out I’m a genderfluid aroace lesbian. The first time I found out abt my gender identity and sexuality(2021) I identified as a genderfluid ace lesbian, then for 3 years I went through a journey of figuring out my gender and sexuality and went through multiple gender and sexual/romantic identities, just for me to 3 years later realize that I was right the first time and I am in fact a genderfluid aroace lesbian🥲
I identify as a cisgender woman. When I was in middle school I questioned my gender HEAVILY as I was also coming to the conclusion that I was queer at the time, and I was trying to navigate those spaces. In high school I began to feel more aligned with the concept of girlhood, and i became increasingly feminine (I’m aware clothes don’t equal gender, this is just my experience). When I came to the conclusion that I was cis, I felt almost guilty. I saw people online try and take stories like mine out of context to try and invalidate or “disprove” being trans in general, when I was merely exploring the concept of gender and came to the conclusion that the term cisgender suited me best. My story does not reflect the experiences of all gender questioning or gender queer people. I am now currently doing my best to be as good of an ally as I can to the trans community 🏳⚧❤
A bit late to the comment but i had a similar experience. My questioning mostly came from my insecurity but that doesn't mean that everyone's experience is like that. You could say that for me it was "just a phase" but i believe i needed to go through all that questioning to find myself you know?
That's super based of you to do /)
This is very similar to my experience of gender! I came to it from a more spiritual / religious perspective (that we're all just amorphous blobs of light plodding around in these meat suits during this specific lifetime), and for many years, I was very headstrong about making sure that everyone used my pronouns, but I've come to realize that - while education around pronouns & trans issues is vital - I'm just going to continue to be miserable if I let other people's lived experiences invalidate my own. I value meeting other people where they're at, not in a self-deprecating way, but in a way that says "I'm aware that not everyone understands / accepts transness, and I get to love myself enough to not let it make me miserable."
I feel the exact same way!❤️ I love hearing your guy’s stories it’s so validating
Is there much difference in logic if you for instance felt you were a black person? Genuine question, not trolling. It seems you could identify as black with the same logic. You might even have complete white family background, then be born with darker skin.
If you identified as black, would it take away from the identity and heritage of people classically considered black?
If an oppressed group have struggled on despite persecution, then people without the same history of struggle decide they can also be that identity, then doesn't it devalue the original meaning?
There is less biologically stopping anyone identifying as black than as the opposite gender. I know this is more a trans thing than a non binary thing, but as far as trans - there are no true racial separations, only humans. 'Race' is a spectrum, if you will. Sex is very binary with RARE exceptions. And gender is in the mind.
So what's wrong with a female just accepting who they are, or even making adjustments to their looks but still realising they're the same person? Why not just call it looks and ideas and preferences and personality and being unique? What's wrong with a boy or girl just being uniquely themselves until they're old enough to consent to medical alterations?
If a child said they would end it all unless they got boob implants, then should surgery ever be the answer for that crisis in a still developing young mind? If a body hasn't finished developing then that includes the mind and ability to consent to long term decisions right?
I feel sorry for disabled people having to hear so many people obsess about their identity and how they're in the wrong body etc. Are disabled people just born 'in the wrong body'? Or is it just who they are and how they turned out, and it's probably best to identify as themselves even if they would love new legs or not to have a condition? Denial or identifying as something they are not in that case would seem unproductive and ultimately stacking the odds against any positive sense of self or acceptance and peace.
Would love to hear thoughts on this, as I can't make it fit with what I understand as rational reasoning or logic.
What do you understand by the phrase 'the exception that proves the rule?'?? ❤
As a genderfluid teenager holy shit this was so so helpful. I’ve always been really confused with my gender and my gender identity. I would find pronouns that worked for me and then…they just didn’t feel right anymore. I always assumed I was just confused and I’d figure it out one day, but this helped me so much, and it made me more comfortable/confident with my identity :3
i’m aroace and agender/nonbinary and i experience my sexuality and gender as pretty much intertwined. my identity is basically just “no”
I’m so glad you have discovered yourself in this way, and sounds so fluid and spiritual - I love it! I am a trans man (25) but I am pre t and pre op and my Dysphoria couldn’t be worse. When I see myself in the mirror I feel physically sick. This is not the body my soul was supposed to be matched with and I hate it. It especially sucks that I’m on a female psych ward and they call us, collectively, ‘ladies’ or ‘girls’ and it makes me feel so left out. The hospital has got a lot better at not misgendering me but there is a long way to go
as a young genderfluid person who’s still discovering who they are, i’m so grateful for you, you’ve helped me to realise i’m a genderfluid lesbian (yes it’s possible guys)
We love you Keara! Thank you for being you. I am sure this will help more than a few people!♥
Hi! Thanks for sharing :) I'm genderfluid, use he/they/she pronouns, and am nearly always femme presenting. I used to experience gender dysphoria without realizing that's what it was, but i've done a ot of self love work to get to a place where I nearly always am happy with my body/gender/expression. there are moments when different pronouns feel more right than others but i never mind when people use any of the three options because I know they are true to me at some point in time if not in this exact moment.
I always describe my gender experience by saying I can wear the same dress on three different days and one day I look in the mirror and think, "wow.. the epitome of womanhood, here in this dress, feeling the experiences of my mother and her mother before her. all is right in the world. I am strong and beautiful."
another day I'll look in the mirror wearing the same dress and think, "oh, oh yes. finally I have achieved the look I've long admired from a distance in pop stars and drag queens and alternative scenes. I am a man in a dress. I am representing the queer/femme men that came before me. all is right in the world. I am strong and beautiful."
and yet another day I'll look at the same image in the mirror and think, "omg, this dress is so cute! I am so lucky to be a person who owns this dress. I can twirl in it and it has pockets, should make one just like it so that I can practice my sewing and leave something physical for those to keep long after I have left this earth. all is right in the world. I am strong and beautiful."
Omg, I have the same experience but with masc clothing. I'm either a cool teenage boy, an elf warrior or a girl boss in the same clothing on different days ✨
@@spotlight9474 yes i love this! so lovely how gender and clothing work together to build a story
I love your content so much! I've been an out bisexual for a little over a year now, but in the past few months, I've come out as genderfluid. I am male by birth but I can identify with women quite a bit. Thank you for your amazing videos! Sending you love!
Hey Keara,
(Sorry for the essay!)
I’ve actually been following you for 4 years now, wow. (That may not seem like that long but I’m only 17.) I actually figured out that I’m genderfluid/nonbinary/trans not long before you posted the first of your online vids talking about your own genderfluidity. That was so cool to see! Our experiences differ a fair bit though, I use genderfluid as a label because my gender shifts around the gender spectrum (it’s not a day to day thing, I wish it was that simple). I think there are a lot of trans people who might not ever get to that place of f*ck everyone else I know who I am, though I think it would be beneficial. I know I won’t get to that place. There’s part of me that does think that when I get misgendered but as you said it just makes you feel crap. I think when I feel better about gender dysphoria about my body it’ll be easier not to care. I’m on testosterone, my one year anniversary is next month! And the t has helped, but I’m waiting for top surgery and I know that’ll be a game changer. I know what you mean about experiencing things as a female, I’m an AFAB but use he/they pronouns and experiencing things like misogyny hits different when you know you aren’t even a girl but you’re too busy mortified to talk back to them. Even though I don’t identify as a man I’m hoping once my voice gets deeper and my beard grows in probably people will start calling me ‘he’. That way even if they mistakenly think I’m a man, at least I’m being gendered correctly.
I was glad to hear more of your experience, though I hope you understand that body related gender dysphoria is not something that can go away without medical treatment. I don’t think you were trying to say that, but I didn’t want others to misconstrue what you meant. I think, what I refer to as ‘social gender dysphoria’ (word related dysphoria) can be helped with some extra self confidence, like you said. Hope that made sense? Not at all trying to have a go, just wanted to make sure people understand that trans health care is still necessary And needed.
Thank you for sharing Keara! I love what you do with your platform! And I really wasn’t trying to offend. 😬.
From Phoenix. ❤
Lots of love from Poland 💕 thank you for this comment ✨
I’m an asexual biromantic and I’m still questioning my gender, but I feel like I’m agender or genderfluid. Like you said about how you feel your soul looks that’s how I’ve been feeling for the past month trying to figure this out. This video really helped me tho. Ilysm❤️
Me too omg
I also have the similar journey as yours do as I’m also genderfluid with she/they/he pronouns but mostly use she/they and they/she the most as I have reach the he pronoun and he level yet but I do use they/them when feeling both masc and femme combine and including he/they on the days I felt like an masc/nonbinary some sort of an demiboy type of side.
I still have not embrace my gender fully and the masc stuff that comes to my gender identity due to my parents, whom I still haven’t come out again for the second time as I did came out to them as bi at 17 forcefully.
I did gave them hints about liking male clothing and items as a way to me coming out to them and they still haven’t came to realization.
Yet, at the time I was not knowing what is my sexuality while I was self isolating that I don’t know who am I anymore and what’s my identity due to my mental health, depression and anxiety. Even tho I did attempt to come out to my parents separately than together since I realized I’m genderfluid.
Ive been genderfluid since early September 2022 as from September to December, I was mostly figuring it out what’s my gender AND also my sexualities, thanks to this former situationship who’s on the beginning journey of becoming an transgender ftm that opened my eyes.
I was inbetween genderfluid and genderqueer because i don’t know which one fits me the most and I did dig up online, such as UA-cam, google and TikTok about different genders until I came across you and other genderfluid content creators/influencers.
Back in October or November while I’m on my journey of exploring my gender, I came to realize my sexualities are pansexual and demisexual due to also my past experiences and also glimpses that shows pansexuality throughout my mid-teens to now while I already taken off the label of bi.
At late December 2022 and coming January 2023, that’s when I came to accept and embrace my genderfluidity. Back in June, a month ago, I got a sudden gender dysphoria all of the sudden due to my mom judging me because of my sideburns are cut short by me as I decided to do it to see how’s it like to be a bit masc which I loved it and happy that I did it. I’d been having gender dysphoria for days that i don’t know what to do anymore by questioning myself, especially when my parents, mostly and mainly my mom, wanted me to be more and dress more feminine as I’ve been dressing androgynous for years and act as a “woman” when deep down I’m hiding my gender fluid identity.
I am still not backing down from letting go of my gender identity and go back to the womanhood as I’m super proud of my identity and also gender identity and I truly thankful that I came to see this yours that just uploaded that relates to the genderfluid journey. I appreciate you ❤
Thank you so much for validating my soul. Ive began feeling genderfluid after finally leaving my house for college life and it helped so much to see ur videos. Many ppl rarely talk of genderfluid but it makes sense in our way. We can say we're gendrfluid when one aec, we r a she and the next we r a he. My friends r all supportive tho confused. Im used to being called she and her by not only my family but how ppl see me as i am. But when im feeeling masculine and they call me he, i feel so empowered. I simply dislike ppl calling me a Woman, a Girl or a daughter. I feel like those words force me and cause serious dsyphoria. Instead, i like being called the Child of someone or that kind worker or classmate.
Thanks so much for continuing such updates
As a fellow Canadian, July is my second-least favorite month. 30 Celsius is too regular an occurrence. (On a stream today, someone in Egypt told us his neighborhood was at 41 Celsius and I replied "how do you human? what does humaning in that temperature feel like?")
From what you've described, the female experience in your Dobby soul was a ticking time bomb. It was dysmorphia waiting to happen from the outset. Dobby cannot be a free elf under those conditions. I'm happy for your ability to move through it, and not give identity shamers the time of day anymore.
An experience last year taught me something on the way most people approach identity. Being bisexual in a smaller city, I'm very tactical with who knows (same reason I don't use my real name here on YT) so when I trusted someone enough to come out to him and he replied, "ohh you mean gay, you say you're bi but really you're just gay" ... at first it came off as obnoxious. But then I realized: ohh, you're just so angry at how much work it is to grasp other people's identities that you're just not trying. Okay then, if you don't care, neither do I. Trying to match the opinions of others with your own body's comfort level is a game with too many players. Don't play. Your body is better off not being a game. Hopefully I'm making sense.
So yeah, the black and white boxes for sexuality and gender can be left out in the rain, especially if they're left on your doorstep with "PICK ONE" in big black marker on them.
Hi, I'm a freshly cracked egg. I lived a very sheltered life being forced into traditional gender roles by family, friends, region, school, work, society at large, etc. to the point that being trans was about as far removed from my radar as it could've been. I knew nothing about it other than that for some reason everyone around me hated it so much. I thought I should too. As I have gotten older, I have come to realize just how trans I've been my whole life.
I'm genderfluid and AFAB as well. My fluidity is very much like water. It takes many different forms. Sometimes, I'm full fem energy. Often, full masc energy. Sometimes, some weird combo of both. Sometimes, neither at all. Sometimes, I'm very enby while other days I stereotypically fit into one box or another. Always quite queer though. Expression is important to me. I was always forced to wear traditionally feminine clothes when I wanted boy clothes more often than not.
This very much helped me feel better about my experience and let me know I wasn't alone in the struggle of being forced into a woman shaped box all my life when I more often than not identified with the other gender and wanted so badly to express it. I know you may never read this comment but thank you. ♥
🤍
I’m a young genderfluid person and I was genuinely so happy when I found your channel! I’m also (I thinkkkkkk) bisexual. I told my parents I was bisexual and it went kinda well but I haven’t told them I’m genderfluid yet. It’s kinda a different thing, bc you can kinda like just go “oh u like girls and boys. Cool!” And move on. Like it doesn’t rly affect their view of you (or it shouldn’t) but telling someone you like want to use different pronouns or a different name changes their idea and view of you. My friend knows, and they’re rly supportive! (It’s kinda funny, we both told each other about how we didn’t feel cis at all and we sort of arrived at our conclusions together-they’re genderqueer-) but they told their mum and it went sorta well and I was rly happy for them! But I don’t know when I might tell my parents. I don’t know if I will tell them. It’s kinda hard especially bc like I rely on my parent so much in everyday life. Idk. Recently I got my hair cut, and it makes me super happy. It’s a kinda fem bob, with no layers or fringe, but it means my hair gets kinda curly and then it looks like a long masc haircut, which is rly cool. I went through a kinda horribly depressing period of being rly rly masc. I was born a girl, so I have all the……parts which means that when I feel more masc, I get extremely dysphoric. But rn Idrk what my gender is, but Ik I’m not that masc rn. I did kinda wanna say- that the way my gender and sexuality worked for a while (and is still kinda working) is that if I felt more masc, I would be much more attracted to guys than girls and if I felt more fem then I’d be much more attracted to girls. But whenever I felt like neither, or maybe both, I felt nothing for anyone. It’s kinda weird. Like I’m a gay man, lesbian woman and asexual enby all in one. It’s weird, but it’s me :)
can i still identify as genderfluid tho most days i feel no connection to a certain gender and the only thing that changes is how i want to be perceived?
I love this, Keara. You really helped me figure myself out from genderfluid to transmasc. I think your videos are so useful, even though your experiences differ from mine in a lot of ways. Thank you. :)
Thank you Keara for all the great content
6:50 I DO THIS TOO, LIKE I DONT EVEN BOTHER WASTING MY BREATH CORRECTING CAUSE AT THE END OF THE DAY IK WHO I AM
I feel like my soul would be a little hyperactive kid with all the gender vibes AHHAHAHA I also love how you visualise yours 😂🩵
And I also get the feeling of identifying with the female experience because of how society perceives you and how you've lived for many years in the society and in relation to others as a "woman"
I am AMAB genderfluid person with a strong lean to transfem side (still closeted bc of where i live, sigh) and i really dig your Dobby metaphor. I also see myself and would very much like to be percieved as a genderless concept. As a friendly cartoon character whose gender really only means if they would have eyelashes.
Though i feel very gendered in relation to my body. I'm not gonna go into details, but in general i'd most likely not be able to resist a fey's offer to make me able to switch between different gender forms. Though i doubt i'd ever switch to a truly neutral form.
I have gotten to a similar place where I have realised that the lenses people wear that they see me and my gender through have *nothing to do with me*, and though it was and often still is frustrating, its kind of freeing to know that I have no control over how people see me. It’s about them, not me. Isnt that nice? 😅 I have struggled with labels since day 1 of my journey so I relate to your comments on that as well and I haven’t/don't use them. I prefer to focus on communicating how I would like to be called, rather than pinning down an answer to the dreaded "what are you" question. I figure, if they are sincere, they will treat me like a fellow human and attempt to call me the way I'd like to be called even if I don't satiate their desire to sort me.
I currently identify as a omnisexual, ace (only for guys) and genderfluid!
When talking about gender and biological sex, I've often heard the same terms used for both. Maybe it would gain more understanding to one set of terms for biological sex and another set for gender identity. For instance, using male, female, and intersex for biological sex; and using masc, femme, enby, and fluid for gender identity. Separating which terms refer to which topic might help to separate those concepts in people's minds.
I've recently discovered that I'm genderfluid, and this video helped me a lot! Thank you for sharing your experience! :))
Yea. Hello fellow Genderfluid Pony fella /)
This really helps.. thank you so much for sharing!!
I am a non binary genderfluid person who gets hated by people especially friends and I use the pronouns They and Them. they would often mis gender me with calling me she.
'no-one can tell you how you feel' love that - we are going to steal it. thnx.
I resonate with you so so so much! I love you! You are awesome! I'm also very spiritual and I just feel like a soul without gender, but gender isn't that important. I also identify as non-binary because that is just how I feel. But I'm also gender fluid because sometimes I do feel more male or female. But I don't want to get always called girl or woman. I am who I am! I use ze/zir or they/them or even she/her but I'm more comfortable with any gender neutral pronouns. I'm also pansexual, demisexual and demi-romantic. I love your Videos and podcasts! They really speak to my soul! Keep going!
I relate to the part where you said " I did not want to be treated as a woman“. For me it was a matter of hating the restrictions society/other people like to place on women - "oh you shouldn't do xyz b/c you're a woman, it's not ladylike!" At it's core, I think it's about wanting to just be treated as a person rather than shoved into a box with a fixed set of behaviors that you're supposed to enact or avoid.
Thank you for this podcast very much. I felt really warm and comfortable with myself in spite of i don't quite relate to this story it's still beautiful. You're have such a wonderful personality and mind and I'm grateful for this❤
Looove your take on this~
hi, so I’ve been watching your videos often on for a little while now and I started watching your channel when I was questioning my own gender identity. For a little while I thought I was non-binary and then I told my mom and she told me that she thought that I was still questioning. I agreed with her and I agree with her to this day. I’m pretty sure I’m a cisgender girl, but I am still questioning a little bit.
Dear fellow gremlin, thank you for this ✨
For me, I'm at the stage of being angry that ppl don't see the boy in me that I see in the mirror on my male days of my genderfluid rollercoaster 🎢
Yea
Helping the algorithm push this to more ppl bcuz it's been extremely helpful❤😊
This was great, Keara, thank you! ❤🥰
I came here rn because I was about to send my friend your Clementine cover to listen to (because we've been sending each other songs we love) and I wanted to make sure I was using your current pronouns, and I was like oooh, this video should have that info, but then I stayed and watched the whole video because, well, it's you, and I couldn't justify leaving until I finished it because as always you are an amazing soul!!! 😍❤️🙏❤️🥰
I love when ppl tell how they see themselves, their souls, so i can see them like how they would like to be seen!^^ I see my soul as a happy lil star for some reason 🌟
I love your vids, thx for sharing your journey! I'm genderfluid too and i really resonate c:
I saw you on FT. You definitely made an impact. Regarding "boxes", eh. I am Canadian but now live in Mexico. I've lived in 7 countries and can tell you, labels & age, eh. What matters is how true of a person you are, 'cause labels are labels & "age is just a number". Society varies from country to country, and as Abe Lincoln said, “You can please some of the people all of the time, you can please all of the people some of the time, but you can't please all of the people all of the time”. So, God bless you/may the powers of the universe guide you and help you continue your acting path/other. You are a FORMIDABLE actor (if you prefer, actress).
Video's like this keeps me connected with my girls side ❤
You are still you no matter how you identify! At the end of the day you will always be you.
Thanks you so much, for this. I just gotta say your looks so healthy and luscious. ❤️ makes me want to grow my hair out.
Hey Keira, love the new tattoo on your arm !!
*finds this video 2 days after posting my own genderfluid coming out video*
Thank you Algorithm. You're description of your gender was as close as I could have imagined it to be, without it being my individual experience. 😂
Hi Keara:) you talked about experiencing body dysmorphia and dysphoria in the past. You have done a lot of content about body image and body dysmorphia lately and i was wondering, from your experience and perspective, how did or do you manage to tell if feeling bad about your body is due to body dysmorphia or body dysphoria? I had top surgery a few weeks ago and i know it was the best decision i ever made for myself (my pronouns are he/they by the way), but i'm still struggling to understand where to draw the line between dysphoria and dysmorphia. Thank you if you take the time to read this, i'm sending you love from Quebec:)
im partly cisgender woman partly agender and use only she/it pronouns!! sapphic from toes to the head :з
and am not really sure if i'll ever feel sexual stuff with somebody so maybe ace but DEF NOT aro cause i love loving women
Tysm for this vid (this is very helpful as I’m a genderfluid lesbian ❤️❤️)
Yesss I love this and relate sm 💜
It was a long journey to find out im polyfluidflux, i do stilm use serveral labels for how i feel in the moment
🥰🥰🥰I understand what you're saying
and your videos make my day😄😄
I did not have a pronoun l looked at my doctor note she gave me she ..❤
That is what happened in a school here in Ireland the teacher would not have respect for a transgender student and wouldn't use the proper pronouns because he's religion
You’ve commented 10 times and liked every single one of them- okie dokie your highness go slay
16:30
I am who I am and that's all that I am
First (I think)
Thank you kindly for sharing.
Per chance more "familiar with YinYang 陽陰" concept of DUALITY as such ebbs & flows, throughout time and space, hence the fluid nature of any such Dichotomy.
Great talk!
Preach sibling
I'm sorry about the dysmorphia.
Thanks for the video. New subscriber just found your channel.
Awww hi welcome!!!💗🤗
We have categories in a language for a reason. When we become inclusive to the point where our terms lose their meaning, language loses its utility. The concept of gender doesn’t make a lot of sense to me but I am still thinking through it. When I look at you I recognize you are someone i could reproduce with and so are a woman. If a man tells me he is a woman he is reducing the utility of the language for me. I think women and men can have all roles available to them except for gamete production which defines the words woman and man. I don’t know what it means to have a transcendent gender.
watched lost and found recently u can singg
It does not matter what anyone says is the chemicals in our body that attracts us to each other
Idk if you will see this but you should make a sex ed vid but people ask the questions on UA-cam like a community post for people who don’t have insta
Omg my comment is pinned🎉
She brought them to court the teacher had to pay it or 900 of a fine for going back to the school and that's fine went up every single day to near 8000
We Are Who We Are and that's the bottom line
If you were about to lose weight then I am too
The tink dunore everything about queer people but then or not nebulous
Are these people in society that is talking talking about queer people if they know so much about us why I did not do lecturing
He did two years in jail because he wouldn't pay the fine
If the truth even used your proper name and showed you a bit of respect call Shakira just a person
I am a little sissy girl tg
There's a lot of "I" with Kiara and the commentators. People who are not so into trans notice this and call it narcissistic. Anyone have a response?
If you watch any video of someone talking about their personal experience or healing journey, you are likely to hear a lot of the word "I" as they are talking about themselves. And in terms of trans people "being narcissistic" - most marginalized people experience being stereotyped and discriminated against in society, being told who they are. so most marginalized people go through a lot of self-reflection and have to do identity development to form a healthy sense of self, which can involve a lot of thinking about oneself. That does not qualify narcissism, but that also depends if you are talking about the actual clinical experience or colloquially referring to anyone who thinks about themselves as narcissistic. for people who are cis, or white, or any privileged identity that aligns with dominant culture, they don't have to do all of that self reflection because their internal experience matches up more with the narratives society says about people.
wasteful lives
🪞
Found out I’m a genderfluid aroace lesbian. The first time I found out abt my gender identity and sexuality(2021) I identified as a genderfluid ace lesbian, then for 3 years I went through a journey of figuring out my gender and sexuality and went through multiple gender and sexual/romantic identities, just for me to 3 years later realize that I was right the first time and I am in fact a genderfluid aroace lesbian🥲
I am a little sissy girl tg