Understanding Gender, Society and the Male Gaze (with E.R. Fightmaster)

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  • Опубліковано 28 лис 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 233

  • @Mary-ux1ed
    @Mary-ux1ed 3 місяці тому +193

    Mal's ability to be vulnerable every single episode, no matter who is sitting in front of her, and just continue to share her thoughts of things is incredible. I really admire that. Thank you Mal!

    • @jenskruse1475
      @jenskruse1475 3 місяці тому +1

      Its very funny, i really love the podcasts, but am beginning to mistrust Mal, because she always has had the exact same/similar experience as the guest.
      Anyways I really think these podcast really resonate with me.

    • @biancanunes8889
      @biancanunes8889 3 місяці тому +1

      @@jenskruse1475 we are queer people in a male dominant patriarch society. The podcast resonates with you, me, Mal and most of the queer people out there (and to be honest that are over 30)

    • @Reed5016
      @Reed5016 2 місяці тому

      I’m 20, and I resonate with most of this. You forget that in our modern world, queerphobia, bigotry, and patriarchal masculinity still reign supreme. Especially for those of us who were raised in Christian conservative environments.

  • @kileybatchelor
    @kileybatchelor 3 місяці тому +226

    This is hands down one of the best and philosophical episodes. The clutching the purse part gave me literal chills. ER has one of the most invigorating outlooks I’ve ever heard, loved this episode so much ❤

  • @Scarly373
    @Scarly373 3 місяці тому +146

    I always love hearing E.R.'s thoughts, rarely do I find someone who thinks as deeply and reflectively.

  • @mistierr
    @mistierr 3 місяці тому +72

    ER is so insanely philosophical and intelligent and every time they’re on a podcast, I’m thrown into a thought process and spiral that I didn’t think I was capable of.

  • @someonesomehow379
    @someonesomehow379 3 місяці тому +70

    they're SO FUCKING INTELLECTUAL omg this episode shed light on SO MUCH ughh thank u mal for having ER on and thank u sm ER for sharing

  • @mrs.blennerhassit92
    @mrs.blennerhassit92 8 днів тому

    This is the first time I have ever heard (and heard of) E. R. Fightmaster. What an incredible grasp on the important things, and what an amazing talent for expressing wisdom in a nonjudgmental and easy to understand way. I am completely ready to hear more from them.

  • @virgilmcclendon5072
    @virgilmcclendon5072 3 місяці тому +78

    As a man, I can tell you that you are 100% right about ALL you said. We are entitled ignorant, selfish assholes. And sadly, most of us have no clue how wrong we are. Thank you for having the courage to point that out. We need to hear it. You go, girl.

    • @ltrillium1000
      @ltrillium1000 3 місяці тому +3

      As a man also, you are wrong, not all men are like that and you should speak only for yourself.

    • @JS-dv9ji
      @JS-dv9ji 3 місяці тому +12

      I was going to respond to someone else... but instead I'll just thank you for understanding. It's not about hating yourself, and sexism isn't always overt or even conscious. It's about deconstructing the more insidious ways sexism was baked into the socialization of boys and men. That wasn't your choice or your fault, but it's so important to take responsibility for how it affected you and make sure it ends with you. 🙏🏼

    • @DeoCross16
      @DeoCross16 3 місяці тому +1

      So many "men' are like that bro, you are saying no shit​@@ltrillium1000

    • @DeoCross16
      @DeoCross16 3 місяці тому +12

      It's great that men also listen to these podcasts, this is a huge step towarsa a better relation and understanding between the genders.

    • @wyleecoyotee4252
      @wyleecoyotee4252 2 місяці тому +2

      ​@ltrillium1000
      Lol ...'not all men'
      Yes dear it's all men.

  • @nkb420
    @nkb420 3 місяці тому +59

    Phew....the comparison to owning the land as opposed to seeing it as sovereign. Definitely stealing that. Great convo!! ❤

  • @lesliebryant5579
    @lesliebryant5579 2 місяці тому +8

    Great program! It took me 58 years to figure out my feeling different was being Gay/Lesbian/Butch! Served 24 years under Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell! Too many years of Depression! Finally figured out I was Gay and met my Girlfriend and Wife through a Matchmaker during COVID!! Now married and living my best life in El Salvador!! If you feel different see a LGQBT Psychologist or better yet a LGQBT Center and Groups like Coming Out, Trans or Teens Coming Out!! Love is Love!!

  • @jacksonprime7098
    @jacksonprime7098 3 місяці тому +36

    Hands down this is the best episode I have listened to!! I will be coming back and listening again from time to time because it’s so enlightening

  • @wlmctl1887
    @wlmctl1887 3 місяці тому +13

    This woman of transgender experience....who started HRT at 46...is weeping as she listens to this. Thank you both so much...

    • @MadeItOutPodcast
      @MadeItOutPodcast  3 місяці тому

      ❤️❤️

    • @wlmctl1887
      @wlmctl1887 3 місяці тому +1

      @@MadeItOutPodcast the world needs more people like you all

    • @achaudhari101
      @achaudhari101 Місяць тому

      Sounds like you were mentally unstable.

  • @raigracekabia3484
    @raigracekabia3484 2 місяці тому +8

    why is hearing ER say 'no i'm literally here because i like the way you look sorry' so healing ????? HAHAHA

  • @camillehardman6458
    @camillehardman6458 Місяць тому +3

    I can't stop watching this. There is too much good information. This is fascinating.

  • @alexispraudins3388
    @alexispraudins3388 16 днів тому

    Love this, needed this. Its such a diffrent road to travel as a butch, especially coming from being a hyper fem masking person, to now this super masculine person and how people perceive this or how I perceive this. Thank you

  • @victoriaschaefer3082
    @victoriaschaefer3082 3 місяці тому +24

    We need more guests like them!! Such an amazing episode, I can’t wait to listen over and over, hearing & learning new things each time. Same with SJ’s episode!

  • @ellegaunt
    @ellegaunt Місяць тому +6

    ER is normalizing being brainy and I appreciate it. Too many people in society chock this type of intellectualism as overthinking but it’s not. It’s smart.

    • @ellegaunt
      @ellegaunt Місяць тому +2

      Fwiw a lack of boobs isn’t necessarily a neutral body. I have boobs and I have a neutral body. Whatever that even means.

  • @alejandratorres6489
    @alejandratorres6489 3 місяці тому +15

    I think this is the most interesting interview until now . Thank you so much for sharing

  • @laurah9500
    @laurah9500 Місяць тому +2

    This is my favourite video! So eloquently spoken, insightful and inspiring ❤

  • @rosemaryarroyo8087
    @rosemaryarroyo8087 2 місяці тому +2

    This is literally one of the best topics I’ve seen someone talking about like this is the kind of podcast that I’ve been looking for and it open my eyes to a new meaning of femininity and masculinity like this is something new that I actually send to my closest friends so they can understand not just me but other queer people out there this blew my mind and made me understand not just myself better but other people as well

  • @fionasedgwick7424
    @fionasedgwick7424 2 місяці тому

    Emmett's self- awareness and awareness of the effect of the patriarchy on them is remarkable. It's something I've been aware of as a female raised to be vulnerable and to defer to the "authority" of men. This interview truly gives me food for thought. Thanks to you and your guest for putting this into perspective . ER is very articulate and wise beyond their years.

  • @VladimirLesbian420
    @VladimirLesbian420 Місяць тому +1

    Hands down my favorite episode so far. I’ve watched it multiple times. This is SUCH an amazing episode

  • @meg55gem
    @meg55gem Місяць тому

    ER FIGHTMASTER really has the absolute best name. Their intellect is so beautiful and inspiring and the best way to really influence and help our world heal and grow is through the heart and mind making them truly the FIGHTMASTER!

  • @tracyhill6166
    @tracyhill6166 3 місяці тому +2

    I love ER Fightmaster so much. They're nit only so emotionally intelligent and an incredible teacher, they are fkin funny as hell. Thank you for so many insights and truth bombs.

  • @kathryndavey8491
    @kathryndavey8491 21 день тому

    Fantasic Podcast...E.R, you are awesome ! Witty, congruent, present and heart warming ❤

  • @JohnRobinson-km4kt
    @JohnRobinson-km4kt 3 місяці тому +6

    I have been following your channel for a while now, I am a fem male, well I am 61 years old now and I am finally feeling out my space in this world now. THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU❤❤❤John

  • @dancook1118
    @dancook1118 3 місяці тому +17

    This has become a must have experience every week. You are excellent at this work. I learn about myself every time. Thank you.

  • @karolynnigula1603
    @karolynnigula1603 3 місяці тому +20

    I always jump on any opportunity to hear E.R.'s thought process on things. The way they articulate their thoughts and angles they see different issues from are so wildly interesting and mindblowing. Loving this ep!

  • @Mary-ux1ed
    @Mary-ux1ed 3 місяці тому +9

    I listen to a lot of podcasts. This one is the one that I anticipate the most. No skips. Just awesome every single time. Doesn't even matter if I can relate or not. Amazing job!

  • @_cp96
    @_cp96 Місяць тому

    You both put into words mental work I've been doing this past year. I especially liked the 'follow pleasure' bit and assessment of how challenging it is prioritizing listening inward when you're raised and identify with femininity. Queerness really is an oasis. This gave me lots to think about, thank you!

  • @godkosk78
    @godkosk78 3 місяці тому +21

    Great episode, thank you😊it was eye-opening for me as well to realise that people stay where they live for a long period of time, sometimes even all their life, just because they are happy with their life there. I never thought of that. I thought they were just not brave to leave, or they lucked the opportunity to leave. I can also identify with the problem of how I see myself. I act straight, so people don't even know I am gay, clearly to protect myself, and I often feel I am losing myself in all of it, and I wish to be more open about it. I am just scared of their judgement and consequently their behaviour toward me. Very eye opening and interesting conversation. Thank you❤

  • @samanderson2447
    @samanderson2447 3 місяці тому +5

    this episode was truly incredible and healing. i’m a non-binary/transmasc lesbian and SO much of what they shared deeply resonated with me. Thank you both so so much for your vulnerability and sharing this conversation!❤️🌈

  • @stitchBASE
    @stitchBASE Місяць тому

    Yay Fightmaster!! Got to meet them in June in Portland. Pretty positive experience for me.

  • @andiherzenach4417
    @andiherzenach4417 2 місяці тому

    My favorite episode so far! So thoughtful and thought provoking! Love this pod and E.R’s pod Jockular!

  • @eb9450
    @eb9450 3 місяці тому +10

    I really enjoy your podcast. I don't usually gravitate toward podcasts but a friend who happens to also be a Black Queer woman like myself recommended Made It Out. Personally, it is difficult to find a queer podcast that tastefuly and appropriately mentions race, diversity etc, when relevant and not make the entire thing about that nor completely dismiss those subjects either. Hopefully that made sense lol. Also the nerd in me really appreciates your choice of guests and the intelligent range of topics you explore with them.

  • @DolceSuono9
    @DolceSuono9 Місяць тому

    I adore this conversation. 🦋

  • @transmutatingaswespeak3480
    @transmutatingaswespeak3480 14 днів тому

    Life changing content fr fr

  • @someonesomehow379
    @someonesomehow379 3 місяці тому +4

    I'm OBSESSED WITH THIS EPISODE!!

  • @RT22444
    @RT22444 3 місяці тому +2

    This episode!! 🤯 whoa! This one’s gonna be replayed a FEW times I think, what a gem!

  • @tanyatruax3172
    @tanyatruax3172 2 місяці тому

    I didn’t know I could watch the episodes here! Been listening for awhile.

  • @helenlawson8426
    @helenlawson8426 3 місяці тому +5

    Always fun to watch these shows each week, I get to laugh, learn and find out a little more about myself.
    As a kid of the 70s & early 80s there was little to nothing to tell me being trans was ok, in fact those are terms I didn't even know. I was though the youngest of five boys with a younger sister so knew that what I was thinking about myself was something to stay quiet about, this is why representation of gender fluidity is so important. We are a product of when & where we are born and that will influence us throughout our lives without therapy.
    What many don't realise is that trans care back then was extremely hetro normative with care being refused or taken away if say a trans woman didn't dress fem enough or wasn't attracted to men. Not being attracted to men is one of the things I used to excuse myself from not transitioning.
    The more fluid approach to transitioning appearing now is so much better than what we had, so much healthier.
    One thing I will say is that once I got my body how I wanted it with HRT & surgery it seemed to free me to explore how I represented. I found the base I needed it seemed.
    Transitioning from male to female you are very much aware the male gaze effects your life just as it does cis women.
    Even had a male friend tell me how beautiful I am and the whole I've just not met the right man (them) yet. I gave them a quick re-education lesson.
    So much to think about after this episode, brilliant as ever. x

  • @МаринаОсинская-ц7у
    @МаринаОсинская-ц7у 3 місяці тому +4

    Found myself wanting to like this video like 3 times. I didn’t watch it all at once, made stops, but when I continued and watched for some time, I swiped to like it and was like “oh I already did it, I forgot… again” 😂
    So mind blowing, so inspiring, giving insights. Love it.

  • @RT22444
    @RT22444 3 місяці тому +2

    This episode!! 🤯 whoa! This one’s gonna be replayed a FEW times I think, what a gem of a conversation I literally feel like I’ve grown as a person just listening 😂

  • @cjd8860
    @cjd8860 3 місяці тому +4

    Wow. Overwhelming, can't find the right word to follow overwhelming. Loved their last comment about Mal finding out she is the intellect among her siblings.

  • @amandac8508
    @amandac8508 Місяць тому

    Fantastic content. Thank you Mal and RM!

  • @ostrichdoc
    @ostrichdoc 3 місяці тому +2

    Mal, I so appreciate you and am grateful to your generation. Imagine what Texas was like in the 60’s and 70’s during my formative years. Queer did not exist, anywhere. Stonewall did not make it to the news in Houston. But You are breaking things wide open and I enjoy watching you do so. ( yup, you have OWLs watching too). ❤️ Keep going!

  • @thapurplebandit_writes
    @thapurplebandit_writes 3 місяці тому +1

    I absolutely loved this episode! My favorite so far! Keep up with the great work! 💜🙏🏾

  • @Perturabo404
    @Perturabo404 3 місяці тому +9

    As a Trans Woman, I really enjoyed this one, having also explored my Gender. I definilty will be giving E.R. Fightmaster a follow.

  • @oliviagomez7845
    @oliviagomez7845 3 місяці тому +2

    This episode gave me the courage to embrace my queerness and the confidence to continue de-centering men🙏Best podcast on the internet, Mal!!

  • @isabellarussosavoldi1702
    @isabellarussosavoldi1702 3 місяці тому +1

    they're so amazing! im actually in awe with the depth of conversation in this episode

  • @HumanCredential
    @HumanCredential 2 місяці тому

    Loved this! Such a great episode. “That can’t be true” Ohhhh yesss it can. Hahaha You’re being too generous.

  • @amandafrisk4176
    @amandafrisk4176 3 місяці тому

    You are my favorite podcast host because I love how genuine and invested you are in your guests. Thank you for asking wonderful questions and also being venerable. ❤

  • @athanott
    @athanott 3 місяці тому

    My favourite episode so far ❤ They are so well spoken and articulate. Mal you're always such a warm and inviting listener and a great interviewer.

  • @bertieborough
    @bertieborough 3 місяці тому +1

    Another great Podcast Mal, thank you so much for bringing so many different and intelligent people into our living rooms and expanding our ideas of what it is to be Human and compassionate.

  • @nicoleleafblad6902
    @nicoleleafblad6902 3 місяці тому

    Love, love this episode! Enjoy your podcasts every week. Think you are great and I appreciate your openness. Not easy being vulnerable. Great podcast!

  • @Vnzlanbrat
    @Vnzlanbrat 3 місяці тому

    This episode is by far my favorite!! Insightful, eye-opening, and hilarious!!

  • @JenniferBonacina
    @JenniferBonacina 3 місяці тому +1

    Love this episode! ER is amazing 🤍

  • @rNeyshabur
    @rNeyshabur 3 місяці тому +1

    BEST EPISODE EVER !!!👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

  • @nicolebixler8074
    @nicolebixler8074 3 місяці тому

    This was my favorite episode. Absolutely amazing conversation from both of you!

  • @dfire13
    @dfire13 3 місяці тому +1

    Thank you for such a wonderful episode❤❤❤❤❤ never miss your podcast ))))

  • @stefn6243
    @stefn6243 3 місяці тому

    I really loved this episode Mal, I really loved how E.R articulated themselves and in turn made you more vulnerable. I resonate with you on the whole the “other” perception of your femininity/sexuality. Keep being amazing🩷

  • @myownstory1416
    @myownstory1416 3 місяці тому +2

    I love how E.R. were like hey i know i'm here to be interviewed...BUT...*makes a bunch of questions* xD one of my fav eps so far, they're also so well spoken, my god what an inspiration

  • @junevertucci3420
    @junevertucci3420 3 місяці тому +1

    Awesome guest with wonderful insights. Mal did a great job as usual; the Primo Host.

  • @MelHyde
    @MelHyde 2 місяці тому

    This conversation is great 🙌 wow

  • @nardia6129
    @nardia6129 3 місяці тому

    Love this podcast. Love all the honest conversations 🩷

  • @SofiasBio
    @SofiasBio 3 місяці тому +1

    You're a hero Mal! I love these. Ty for creating:)

  • @Alice-tr5fq
    @Alice-tr5fq 3 місяці тому

    What an amazing speaker omg! So eloquent and intelligent, my fave episode so far :)

  • @OK_frumpy_
    @OK_frumpy_ 3 місяці тому

    Incredible and thought provoking episode. Thank you 🩷🌈

  • @RandomnesExpirience
    @RandomnesExpirience 3 місяці тому

    This was seriously so refreshing to listen to and learned so much, thank you!

  • @charstar13
    @charstar13 3 місяці тому +1

    this was literally so mind blowing and interesting

  • @emmapichl8896
    @emmapichl8896 3 місяці тому +1

    THIS EPISODE IS SOOOO GOOD OMG!

  • @SarahGreenawalt-dk1uc
    @SarahGreenawalt-dk1uc 3 місяці тому

    This podcast is life changing, and will be life changing for so many. Amazing job everyone involved, especially on this episode.

  • @FreeCandy979
    @FreeCandy979 3 місяці тому

    I'm really enjoying this conversation! E.R. resonates with me on a deep level, starting from 22:40 Thank you!

  • @rush_amanda
    @rush_amanda 3 місяці тому +3

    I just got top surgery a few months ago and it was really interesting to hear them talk about their thought processes. Before more afab people were getting top surgeries (not that I saw at the time anyway) it was a constant question in my mind of like, okay I don't want my boobs, but what does that make me or mean? Icried when they started growing at puberty, hid them the best I could with hoodies and stuff as a teen even on 100+ degree days, eventually started binding in my 20's... and since i didnt have nonbinary representation that opened up a whole new can of worms wondering if I was trans.
    What really helped me make the decision for top surgery is that I would bind even at home alone, I hated them on me. And while some part of me is fascinated by trans men, I do not feel like a man. So now at 33 I'm a she/her (but also idgaf what pronouns ppl call me) with top surgery and every day since my surgery has been like christmas. I'm so so happy with this decision that took so much time, confusion, discomfort and introspection to figure out. 100% worth it, I am finally happy in my body for the first time

    • @achaudhari101
      @achaudhari101 Місяць тому

      If you were happy (which you’re not) you wouldn’t lop your chest off over a fake form of authenticity. What you needed was self love as a woman rather than use a traumatic experience in your life as an excuse to not be one.

  • @Reed5016
    @Reed5016 2 місяці тому

    Us living our life in a way that is opposed the heteronormative expectation of society is often threatening to people who live according to heteronormative expectations. Because they see that the way they were told to live their was just one option of many, and they could’ve chose something different.
    They live their life in a way that follows the norm, and it often leads to them not questioning themselves. But then we come along, and our very existence shatters their idea of what they are and what people can be.

  • @rachelgoldsmith6468
    @rachelgoldsmith6468 3 місяці тому

    This is by far - hands down one of my favorite Mal. They is seriously beaming in the best way. So smart and so freaking funny ! ❤❤❤❤ I can tell you enjoyed yourself so much too. Great to see this chat.

  • @SylviaDavis-e5u
    @SylviaDavis-e5u 3 місяці тому

    ER is brilliant. WOW! Good pod, Mal. 💯 Intelligent, in depth conversation, so refreshing. Congrats 👏🫶🏼

  • @emaboogie
    @emaboogie 2 місяці тому +2

    This whole conversation is one of privilege. I am a black woman who did not have the privilege of not knowing the world around me. I was forced to know about the unhoused and the housed because my parents made sure of it. Basically not knowing could be dangerous for a woman of color. A white woman clutching her bag or crossing the street to avoid an other a is generational prejudice that passed down in families that gain from making anyone outside of themselves or their society dangerous. We must unlearn these things and be sensitive to those deleted from the conversation.

  • @beccamayberry9907
    @beccamayberry9907 3 місяці тому

    This entire hour was a soap box I am sooo here for!!!

  • @giuliamoscoso665
    @giuliamoscoso665 3 місяці тому +1

    learned so much with this one. thanks!!

  • @emb7551
    @emb7551 3 місяці тому

    As usual amazing episode! The work that’s put into this podcast really shows. ❤

  • @taylortimeless
    @taylortimeless 3 місяці тому

    What a brilliant mind. Love deep conversations like this. I often think about these issues and wonder if others often do as well. I can see they do. 😊

  • @v70-q7v
    @v70-q7v 3 місяці тому +3

    this totally clarified what's wrong with the idea of the girlboss for me. it already accepts the idea that leadership is about conventional masculinity and forces people to just emulate that instead of actually finding new models of leadership and investigating what that means

  • @aries8910
    @aries8910 3 місяці тому

    I could listen to them for days

  • @lindsayduplessis6033
    @lindsayduplessis6033 3 місяці тому +1

    I love how Mal was hanging on every word, like ER was her professor. Such an interesting, academic episode. It was like being back at college!

  • @TheBoatmike
    @TheBoatmike 3 місяці тому

    This had a lot of rational and intellectual sruff, so much so I'm. gloing to watch it again. But the emotional punch of accepting gender without the arrogance of judging others and ourselves is what really got to me. I've been struggling with these issues. Not that my feelings are "fixed' thanks to this podcast, but the podcast gave me so much more to enrich my feelings and thinking.

  • @emilykissell4015
    @emilykissell4015 3 місяці тому

    I just caught up on the podcast and watched last week's episode, then decided to watch the Barbie movie (with asl❤).
    Coming back to watch this episode was the perfect bookend! I loved this conversation. I kept having to rewind and pause because I needed to write some of this down. Thanks for having and sharing this conversation with us.

  • @ROCKONplaceboforever
    @ROCKONplaceboforever 3 місяці тому +2

    E.R is so smart and knowledgeable it's insane thanks so much for sharing love their words 👏👏👏 bravo one of favorite episodes for sure much love mal ❤❤❤🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️

  • @ShadiaTyndall
    @ShadiaTyndall 3 місяці тому

    My favorite podcast. Great episode!

  • @LindenAnthony
    @LindenAnthony 3 місяці тому

    My new favorite episode🤯

  • @multiartlife_
    @multiartlife_ 3 місяці тому

    Best episode so far! Great messages and informations.

  • @bin5670
    @bin5670 3 місяці тому

    What a great and insightful conversation!

  • @DeoCross16
    @DeoCross16 3 місяці тому

    Lovely episode! So happy this podcast exist in a time where youtube content looks all the same.

  • @loriescobar9682
    @loriescobar9682 3 місяці тому

    Loved this episode.

  • @_asantesana_squashbanana_
    @_asantesana_squashbanana_ 3 місяці тому +1

    I feel like this pod releases episodes at a good time for Aussies lol I enjoy being early for once. Looking forward to this episode.

  • @skyewells0821
    @skyewells0821 3 місяці тому

    Thanks for this one! Diving into gender so much was fascinating . As someone who has also explored my own gender, this furthered my thoughts !

  • @marleykotylak1194
    @marleykotylak1194 3 місяці тому

    This episode was so good I’m watching it a second time

  • @jacquelinehuttner9650
    @jacquelinehuttner9650 3 місяці тому +1

    Favorite episode

  • @IAMAJNAMUSIC
    @IAMAJNAMUSIC 3 місяці тому

    Such a great episode!

  • @agustinaacosta5990
    @agustinaacosta5990 3 місяці тому

    Truly loved this episode!

  • @AlWhi-z7x
    @AlWhi-z7x 3 місяці тому

    Great episode, fast becoming my favourite pod. ❤