My Agender Dysphoria (2 Years Later)
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- Опубліковано 19 чер 2024
- Today we look back on my journey as an agender person and compare my experience from 2 years ago with how I feel today. Things have gotten a lot better for me, but they won't for everyone and that's perfectly valid, too!
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rapidpeach
rapidpeach
Business email: rapidpeach@gmail.com
This video was edited by @HandsumGerman
/ @handsumgerman
#rapidpeach #agender #dysphoria
Music:
Intro Song VHS Dreams by Shane Ivers - www.silvermansound.com
Outro song by Deon van Heerden - / deonvanheerdenmusic
My body doesn't bother me.. what bothers me is people treating me a certain way because of it.
Because same, Idgaf about how I look but it's the way I will get treated differently if I dress a certain way
I agree. But I also cannot stand it, if people dress like they have zero respect for themselves. But being a triple a battery I cannot really tell if the latter has more to do with me being asexual and partly sexrepulsed or me being agender (Which makes me second hand embarassed if people overemphasize their sexuality in a way that is not even aesthetically pleasing and therefore just does them harm. I know one does not have to be agender to feel like that. But I guess the feeling is stronger because of it.).
omg, this is me exactly!!
Thiiiiiiisssssss
*THIS*
I totally agree with the "sir/mam" thing needing to change. I don't like being called mam or miss, but it's hard to know what to replace those with. Just like with formal wear, formal language tends to have the masculine be seen as more neutral, but that doesn't always feel right, so I tend to go with more casual in both my language and my dress.
just call everyone comrade
Some services in my area have switched to calling customers “Boss” rather than “sir/mam”
I think that’s pretty cool, hopefully more places will start doing that!
@@yourlocaltherapistfriend5091 there is Mx.
I realised I'm agender within the last year. I don't care about pronouns or anything, I just think it's simpler for me to look like my biological sex and be referred by those pronouns because it's easier for other people.
I've been struggling with the fact that I don't understand gender like I am just me. I cannot comprehend that people feel like a specific gender, does that make me agender?
I'm agender, and this is exactly how I feel. So you might be agender too :)
It happens to me too. I thought it was because I'm older, but many people from my generation (younger side of Gen X) are coming out as trans or understand the idea of "gender identity", so I concluded that I just don't have any gender identity and that's just fine. It makes a lot if sense anyway, because I've always been non conforming to gender roles and stereotypes, even since my childhood.
@@chilenapromedioRU I am also on the younger side of Gen X. My gender identity as I see it is non-binary. As you know, growing up we did not have such terms. They just called me androgynous or a " Tom Boy". It made me want to scream.
Exactly how I've been feeling- I'm just me- I like what I like I behave how I behave I am what I am and I've never seen myself actually belonging to a gender
Hell yeah being more comfortable in your body and not being too concerned about others' perceptions! All the best continuing in that journey of being comfortable. (I should get on that...)
Yes! Thank you! And I wish you the best
This helped me a lot! I’ve been feeling dysphoric (especially about my chest) but I don’t want to change anything physically. I do want children in the future and for them to call me mom because it feels like a protective caregiver. Even though I’ve realised this about myself I feel like I’m faking being agender and nonbinary because I don’t really feel like I want to change a lot and because now more than ever I feel ok being perceived as my agab, I care less.
My relationship with femininity is also healing after I realised I never were a woman. What before was a futile attempt to be good enough is now a fun expression. But this in itself (looking like my agab and being fine about it) also makes me feel imposter syndrome. But this is only the beginning for me, I think like you said that you get more comfortable with yourself over time.❤️
I'm another agender person who is happy with my body parts, but finds social dysphoria really hard. I have 3 kids, and curves, and most people see me as the epitome of womanhood 😩😑
I only discovered the language to describe my gender identity after I'd had my 3rd child. So although I didn't feel female while being pregnant or breastfeeding, during that time I didn't really know there was a name for how I'd always felt.
You made me feel so comfortable! I was scared of becoming something i didnt wanted to become because of stereotypes but after watching a video of an agender pansexual just like me talking exactly how i feel made me feel so much better!!! Tysm this vídeo helped me a lot. Im your new fan :D
Having nothing down there is definitely a thing it’s called genital nullification, or medically vaginectomy/penectomy, depending on what you have leaves you with only a urethra.
Subscribed! So nice to hear other gender/sexuality perspectives! I'm 58, married, trans-feminine, and ace.
The most dysphoric thing for me is when people try to or do enforce binary gender roles on me.
Greetings from other Agender, curvy mommy. It was lovely (and validating) to hear your experiences!
I used to have dysforia with my body as a teen, when I was this skinny little tomboy girl with no idea that my weirdness I felt around gender would get a name once I would get to my 30's. xD I was skinny with an hourglass figure and I felt so uncomfortable with myself. I got little bit used to it, but I did get stronger discomfort time to time.
Until I got kids in my 20's.
I am not going to say that giving birth was this magical thing that changed everything and made me celebrate my wonb and lady lumps and so forth - nope, I absolutely hate being pregnant (got 3 kids now though), and giving birth is such a hassle, but seeing my body in use, doing it's thing and just vibing made me appriciate it more and really has leviated any dysphoria I had. I got more weight with kids and my body looks now more proportional than it used to, and while my breasts sometimes cause me a hassle I don't mind their excistence as much as I used to. Also, as I got myself a daughter whom has grown to be quite a girly girl in some aspects, I actually have healed some of my relationships to feminine things I previously had some discomfort with, because now there was no pressure to be a woman for me, just me exploring with her what she happened to find interesting and me finding appriciation through her excitment of things pink and sparkly. xDDD
Personally, Me being called man or a woman or anything in between doesn't actually bother me - I only get bothered when they assume things about me since in their head because I am X I need to think or act Y and Z and must be treated in way N. But that might also be because my motherlanguage has no gendered pronouns, so it is possible that because of that, gendered language isn't as big of an issue for me, I just don't get too much pressure that it would have effected me.
I hope you have continmued to feel good in your body and enjoy your life! Have a fantastic day!
For me, I’m agender and I hate my “female” parts. I just want them to not be there 😐
You're an amazing person 🌻 blessed be ☺️
Aw you’re sweet! ☺️
@@rapidpeach 🌻😊
I'm loving the hair 💗💖💗
So happy to hear that you are feeling good about yourself. You are perfect just being you ❣️
omg pagan => (correct me if im wrong)
Fascinating update! Thanks for sharing your story. It really really helps. I hate feeling alone, but knowing there are other agender people with similar struggles with their body and how people perceive them makes me feel so much better.
OMG! I am so amazed at how similar our experiences have been so far! I had two kids eventually. The hormones that flooded my body while pregnant and breastfeeding made me feel more okay with typically feminine things. That waned a bit over the years, but I am still less irked by people using Feminine terms with me.
My youngest is 13 now, and “Mom” is more a term of the loving protector I am. Mom means everything’s okay, and I’m proud to be that for the people I love.
thank you so much! i realized i was agender very recently and still am not 100% sure but your video validated a lot of my feelings cause we have very similar experiences.
I just found you. THANK YOU. 💜💜💜
During pregnancy I did have a lot of depression connected to body image. It was real tough. I'm glad to be over 50 now. That chapter is done for me.
I have dysphoria over my face, because I dislike how masculine it looks. I wish I had a more feminine voice. I wish I wasn’t flat chested. But similar to what you said, I don’t have dysphoria over my genitalia. I wish people could see me not as a man, but I still don’t want to identify as a woman.
Are you me?
I have BPD so I actually don't recognize myself in the mirror sometimes, and sometimes I have a hard time seeing myself as a person and it seems more like an alien or a monster it's really weird. I actually avoid mirrors for this reason because sometimes it shocks me when I see myself and I scare myself because I'll freak out if I don't recognize myself.
I have facial hair because of pcos and I hate it because it doesn't look good at all, so I wear a mask when I'm out. It just hurts to shave everyday. I just want to exist and not be gendered.
Wow for me, the dysphoria is pretty much almost the opposite- I feel pretty dysphoric around my uterus and that I have the potential to get pregnant >~< It honestly disgusts me to the core and makes me extremely uncomfortable and hateful towards my body. The mere thought of having a biological child is pretty disturbing to me.
My chest is mostly fine, since I don't have a lot (although I would really like a completely flat chest) and for me wearing a bra/binder/sports bra makes not feel dysphoric around them, since there's always something hugging them to my body and preventing them from moving around. I literally cannot even go outside for a minute without a bra without feeling the need to cry because the feeling is so incredibly uncomfortable.
I'm fine with people just assuming for themselves that through my appearance I am a girl, I just feel really uncomfortable when they start pointing it out, calling me gendered terms. It makes me feel like people could never accept that I don't feel like any gender at all, that I'm just me, and it just sometimes sort of stirs up intense hate for my body
Since I wrote a comment for 2 years ago I also wanted to write what has going on for me.
- Clothing has changed to shorts from 2XU. I use the same size in female. They compress things in a better way.
- Down there things have change. Change in size is now more visible. Sensation is lowered a bit.
The thing that really have changed is that I by a mistake bought a crop-top and then I tried putting 2 socks under it.
So in order to lower my dysphoria i've started wearing a bra at home & I also sleep wearing on. According to my spreadsheet i've been tucked 2 AND worn a bra for 4 month.
I have pcos and my facial hair is getting worse because it's becoming more obvious that I have chin hair even if I shave. It just doesn't look good and it hurts to shave. I like how I look without it. I wish I didn't feel like I have to hide my face in public. Thankfully, my roommate is transmasc and I feel comfortable not shaving. I got on a T blocker this week. Hopefully it helps even a little. I'm agender and not necessarily trying to look femme or masc. I just want to...exist. Just wear what I want without people automatically gendering me. I get it but I don't like it. I am secure in my agender-ness for sure though.
have you thought of doing laser hair removal? works well and the results usually last forever.
yeah, my chest bothers me a lot. I wish it wasn't so annoying. It gets in the way and I kinda wish it could just be non existent most of the time. I don't care what people call me as I've been called the same shit for my whole life and also I don't think clothing is gendered as men have been wearing 'dresses' in different cultures. You literally just call them fucking robes lol. It's so dumb. Men wore high heels in france before the women did LMAO. Men wore pink before women did. I don't understand gendering clothing. If you're agender wtf are you supposed to do....not wear clothes? I guess. Be a nudist. lol.
I have bad dysphoria about my breasts
I didn't really think I had dysphoria as an agender person until I tried wearing leggings and couldn't satisfactorily hide the man bits
Maybe get a dance belt like the ballet men wear underneath their tights when dancing?
18:14 - the moment I got curious about aspects of your identity that you didn't address in this video! Hmmm, the "edited by" gives a hint! I don't hear "Tschüßi!" every day... fun! I'm not quite ready to subscribe yet, but I've queued up some more videos, and you may have a new subscriber soon. :)
I also have a dislike towards my thin arms! I hope that if I have a wider upper body, I come across as more masculine
I'm trying tu find my gender identity and up to now, just every gender feels wrong. I Can say what it is not, but not what would be correct....
I feel mostly just playing a roulette in a theater when I get seen gendert or try to fit in somewhere. I'm dysforic about my chest it's too much, to feminin, in my way. I would like to have the same body shape (just bigger) I had befor puberty hits. No chest, no big hipp and oll that stuff. I love how I loked like in dresses beg then. Ore any ather tipe of clothing. If this makes sense.....
I’m trying to figure out my gender identity right now, but I know I’m somewhere in the agender realm.
Sometimes I’m comfortable with my chest and other times I’m not. I want a binder but I’m not able to get one yet and it’s really frustrating. I’ve been wearing more sports bras lately to substitute.
I know you said that you're somewhere in the agender realm but have you looked into libragender?
For example, I used to identify as agender until I realized sometimes my gender would fluctuate at times and that's when I learned what Librafluid was, which is basically Genderfluid but you mostly still feel agender.
So now I'm librafluid :)
To be sure, a large proportion of young people have dysphoria around their looks in general, no matter what their gender etc. Fortunately to a lesser extent than several decades ago.
Wow we have so much in common (except for the pregnancy bit).
Hello! I doubt you will ever see this and even if you did I’m sure you’re busy, so don’t feel like you have to reply, but I was wondering if I could get some guidance? I’ve had a bit of a confusing time with my gender. I’m honestly in a bit of a confusing place. There’s been a few different things making me think more, but I don’t have anyone I feel comfortable talking to and am honestly just confused. 1) It recently occurred to me that some people cared more about certain things than I did. Like, I found out people would be uncomfortable if someone used the incorrect pronouns. I don’t know, that may sound weird, but I honestly really just don’t care what other people call me. I’ve been euphoric about a pronoun on one occasion, but other than that I honestly couldn’t care less. 2) I have found through my entire life that I craved people not knowing my AGAB. Like, I’ve recently found myself avoiding talking or changing the pitch of my voice to make it sound more neutral. It’s been like that since I was little, but that may be normal and I’m overthinking it? 3) I’m honestly really scared and nervous about talking to people about this because I’m nervous maybe I’m just cis and looking for attention. I’ve experienced body dysphoria before, but I’m scared I could just be in my head. It’s not crippling like for some others, so I don’t know that I have the right to complain.
I don’t know if any of this makes any sense. Honestly, I’m just in a situation where I can’t talk to anyone about this and have just been extremely uncomfortable with some of the things those around me have been saying. I was okay for a while, but it’s getting worse and I am just, like I said, confused. No matter how much research I try to do, I just am struggling with figuring things out on my own. I don’t know if anyone can help, but honestly, just having someone I could even talk to would be enough. Apparently I’m desperate enough to turn to UA-cam comments, which is really sad, but just how life is at the moment… Anyways, sorry to be a annoyance
even knowing there is an infinity of gender, none speak to you? like gender related to food, style, animal, rock, plant, books, cute, personality traits, places...
Gender related to food?
I know you posted this 3 months ago, but you have my attention. What’s gender related to
•food
• plant
• rock
• books
• Cute personality tests
•places
Im probably just missing something but I’m still confused
@@honeypot9867 I've heard of the animal gender ones but they tend to be related to kintype people. There could also be animal genders out there that isn't related to kin but I'm just speaking on what I've read and seen