When I was watching The Owl House with one of my friends when Masha was wearing the NB flag on their nails i immediately got excited and mentioned it and my friend was like "huh? what are you talking about" and im just so happy that that was included and god i wanna do that with my nails so bad, this video is amazing overall thank you so much for it!!! hearing your experience was amazing, and im sorry that friend group did that to you, i hope you've found better friends since then. and again, thank you so much for the video
The mention of the "what's in your pants" conversation reminds me of an argument I had with someone who claimed to be a trans man, saying that being trans is ALWAYS about the genitals. Literally using those same words of "what's in your pants determines your gender", and they even said that every trans person should think like him! I'm not trans so I don't know what that's like, but honestly I just found the situation really weird, Especially given the fact that it all started with him accusing people of sexualizing trans people by simply headcanon characters as trans, saying that anyone who makes those headcanon think about the characters' genitals(even though most people who make trans headcanons are trans themselves), and for me this is... This is the most insane thing I've heard in my life... This person also accused him of transphobia for simply disagreeing with him. Yeah, crazy story...
Makes me think of that calico cat from Fortnite. People head-cannon him as a trans guy because of genetics! No I am not sexualizing the cat man. He is most likely xx or xxy chromosomes! Meaning trans or intersex.
@@sarahc5608 There is also male Calico cats; granted, they're infertile though, which if anything; is a completely different form of rep that should also be accepted. (for some reason there's a LOT of bashing on this HC)
@@ARandomEliatrope Male calico cat is xxy: Klinefelter Syndrome. There are no xy calico cats in order to be calico they need two Xs because of the color pigments (orange or black) and genetics. There’s not enough space on the Y chromosome for calico tricolor. According to some definitions that would make the cat intersex due to it not being xx or xy. Some people define intersex as ambiguous sex characteristics (likely at birth), and don’t include Klinefelter Syndrome. Others include it as intersex, personally I would due to the mixed characteristics that show during puberty. Most people dislike the male calico cat counter argument because it’s usually brought up to stop trans head-cannons. I think it’s important to note that there’s no binary male calico cats, so the cat is NOT just an infertile male. XXY and XY are different. XXY often causes infertility. The cat is either a trans man or a man that has Klinefelter Syndrome (sometimes included under intersex) and nothing is confirmed. I wouldn’t bash either head-cannon, both can coexist. I just like scientific accuracy and genetics. 🤷 Id love a Game Theory on this!
@@sarahc5608I mean, that's mostly done out of... y'know. Wanting a trans character in a video game they like and headcanoning them as such. Headcanons are only malicious if they're outright stated to be. People headcanoning characters as trans because it makes them feel more comfortable isn't a bad thing, even if it's based off of the statistics of most calico cats being female.
17:43 this feels like so much to me as a queer poc. the world really doesnt want people like me in it. but im here anyways, the worlds just gonna have to get used to it
What a horrible group of people to think saying you will never view someone as their true gender is necessary, let alone to someone you consider a friend. Even if you feel like that, it costs nothing to keep it to yourself. More than anything it demonstrates a lack of understanding - no doubt you expressed to them how you felt about your gender before, yet they still only focused on appearance. We're all guilty of assuming someone's gender at face value but it's the effort to look beyond that and not blurt out your knee-jerk reaction which counts. As trans people themselves i can only presume they were dealing with their own self-image issues and projected them onto you, either that or they're just cruel. I hope you've been able to make more empathetic friends since then that acknowledge and appreciate your gender irrespective of appearance. Much love from a fellow enbie 💛🤍💜🖤
I almost feel like Afab trans people/enbies are seen as the only “socially acceptable” trans people/enbies. As a transfem enby, this can get very exhausting- like I’m always needing to perform my gender for my gender to be accepted, and even then I’m hardly ever accepted- it’s exhausting lol
afab enbies aren't "socially accepted" I've gotten bullied, physically and sexually assaulted amab enbies are *underrepresented*. but the way you phrased it is insulting.
@@homosapien7316 I gotta agree with this, NBs are always treated like "diet woman" until we're AMAB, it comes off really condescending and honestly really tiring, the way the OPs comment is phrased makes it sound like afab trans folk get it off easy; when they absolutely don't, and alot of AFAB trans folk are incredibly hated by other trans folk for, from what i've seen, absolutely no reason whatsoever.
@@homosapien7316 I didn’t mean it to be insulting. I should’ve phrased it better. I meant that they were the only ones incels seem to “accept”. And as somebody who’s also been sexually assaulted and bullied, I didn’t mean to belittle your experience.
@@sunny.rainbowsyeah incels do not accept us. They see us as women who need to be fixed. They only like us because of their fetishes. Not trying to attack you just saying the truth.
My older sibling is agender and AFAB. They present in both sides of the spectrum, but are more on the masculine side. They despise dresses and love sweaters. People like them EXIST and I never realized masculine Nonbinary people were pushed back because my siblings normalized masculine nonbinary for me.
Shout out to Cookie Run, who just casually has almost 40 playable Nonbinary characters throughout the series last time I checked. Granted, the series has over 200 playable characters total, but almost 40 is still pretty good (wish the fandom didn't misgender some of them so often).
Thank you so much for sharing your experience. I initially really struggled with the fact that after my gender journey started and I realized I wasn't cis, my expression didn't change much, and I felt like that made me a fake enby, in a sense. In 2020, I started questioning my gender, and that later turned into really bad dysphoria around early 2021. I would wake up every morning and feel dysphoria. I would go to bed crying because of dysphoria. I couldn't focus on school or even think in my head (Spanish being my native tongue didn't help) without thinking about my gender. I would have complete breakdowns at 3 am, where all I could do was cry for hours, not knowing why I couldn't stop questioning my identity but didn't feel anything negative towards my body. I knew vaguely about the concept of being NB but didn't have a clear idea of it. I didn't even consider it something I could be. Still, I decided to research while trying to figure myself out and realized I could be something other than "boy" or "girl." I've only been identifying as NB (not a more specific label because I don't feel like I need it) for a year at this point, but I've enjoyed existing so much more since then. I've stopped breathing and living dysphoria all day, every day, to maybe feeling it once every few months for a few hours or a day at most. I've even experienced gender euphoria. I feel such a genuine warmth in my chest when I think of myself as enby or when I get called "they." Me still presenting in a masculine manner will never invalidate any of that, and I'm sorry people you trusted did that to you.
I know exactly how you feel. There's a warmth unlike anything else that spreads from your heart through the rest of your body when people start gendering your correctly, when you're finally seen for who you are. Gender euphoria is the greatest feeling and I'm so happy that you found it!
Hola!! I wanted to comment and say that as someone under the non-binary umbrella, it makes me so fucking happy to see someone talking about representation of our community, both the good, and the..not so good execution of representation is important to talk about, even if that means exploring the more controversial and uncomfortable aspects of it. WritinRealSlow for non-binary president 2024!!
I really like this video. I'm still trying to make my own nonbinary characters present in different ways other than fem (I tend to lean toward fem presenting with designing characters). I was actually drawing one of my nonbinary ocs while watching this video and when you brought up Stevonnie and their facial hair made me decide to add facial hair to them, so that was fun :3
Great video as always! I'm so glad your talking about non-binary rep, it's (sadly) rare to see rep for enbies at all, let alone masc presenting as you said. I just want to say thank you: this video made me feel much more comfortable being me, feel less strange being a masc presenting enby. The rest of this will be a rant, don't feel obligated to read it at all, but I kind of need to get it out. We're living through a tube of change, a time where LGBTQ+ people are going from seem as horrid, inhuman things, to bring seen as we are, just people who are a bit different. And it's hard, because you don't know where someone is in their personal process, whether they think of you as a person or a demon. But things are improving, thank god. Again, sorry for the rant, just needed to get it out and I don't really have anyone to talk to
no, I'm really happy to get your thoughts on it! And I'm really, truly happy I could make something that made you feel seen and comfortable. Thank you for sharing!
Here's a non-binary character from a recent game, Juniper from Xenoblade Chronicles 3, they are never referred to with gendered pronouns and even in the game's data their gender is listed as 2 (0 is for male 1 is for female). There's also Dante, the main character of the Korean gacha game Limbus Company, they are only referred to with they/them, they do have a clock for a head but they are (as far as we know) human and the clock is merely a prosthetic, while Dante might seem like a standard blank slate gacha protagonist at first they are very much are their own person and not just a vehicle for the player.
I love including nonbinary representation in my writing as a nonbinary person, sometimes because I can't decide if I should make a character a guy or a girl (which happens pretty often, I'm very indecisive) or because I just think that would be neat. Right now I'm working on characters based on the periodic table, and all of them generally use They/Them, except Helium (c'mon, you know why) who uses He/Him, and yet is the only explicitly nonbinary character. Just wanting to give some love of underrepresented groups :)))
As a fellow masc AMAB Enby, I definitely feel the frustration and pain. And I just wanted to say thank you for making me feel not alone and seen in regard to that specific frustration.
Never heard of transmedicalism before watching this video and now I realized that I've been using it to shut down my own attempts to analyze myself out of fear of "losing solid ground". Your video made me seriously question my identity and the ways in which I express myself.
@@WritinRealSlow more like, you made me realize the error in my thinking and helped me take my attempts at analyzing my identity further than I previously did. Thank you.
Thank you for this amazing video my friend!!! It was very lovely and your description of your experience hit me very hard in the feels :). Thank you for sharing your story- you really hit the nail on the head as to why representation is so important.
You've helped me feel more validated, especially by sharing your experience. As a still closeted non-binary person, i Thank you so much. I'm taking steps toward coming out but struggle with having to live in a binary normative world. It's doesn't help that I'm tired of having to come out and worry about my experience being seen as invalid. All of our experiences are valid. You are valid ❤Never forget that
Hello! I just read a fantastic duology called “The Monk and Robot” series by Becky Chambers. In the first book (A Psalm For the Wild Built) it is made apparent right away that the human main character is a non binary monk named Dex. I can’t quite remember if this is due to them being a monk or simply being nonbinary, but they are also often referred to as “Sibling Dex”. I am a cisgender female and this was my first time reading a book with a non-binary main character and it was so interesting! I think a benefit of writing non-binary characters in novels is clearly the fact that we don’t get an exact picture of the character. Dex is described throughout both books as having their hair grow in between both books, so they tie it up. I think there’s also a line where they ponder if they should cut it. So that eliminates a lot of pesky readers who desperately want to know Dex’s birth gender. But it makes me almost laugh at how purposeful Chambers was at making it clear that they are androgynous, because it almost felt like an “F you, you’ll never know. Just enjoy the friggin book.” And honestly, Chambers herself might not have even decided what Dex’s birth gender was. Dex lives in a sci-fi universe that takes place thousands of years in the future. As a means of making the world feel less like a direct problem for the two main characters, it’s described as an idyllic world. Everyone pretty much seems to get along, climate change doesn’t seem to be an issue lol, they handle some of the in world explained big changes peacefully, and Dex is never misgendered by a character. I personally like that the world is meant to feel simple, because it lets Dex exist as a character who can just be. You have a lot of fun understanding who Dex is as a person and because nobody has an issue with their gender, you feel like you don’t even need to think about it. There is also the second main character- a sentient robot named Mosscap. It is a robot so it’s pronouns are just “it”. When Dex and Mosscap first meet (a big moment bc humans and robots haven’t made contact in thousands of years) they have a very quick and simple discussion. Dex asks if Mosscap is a gendered individual and it says no, and describes that it’s basically just an object. It asks Dex the same question and Dex says (not exact wording but just to summarize) “Yeah, I don’t have a gender either.” And that’s it. I think that’s the only discussion about gender between the two novels. Okay and to end off my long comment essay (I deeply apologize lol, I just loved these books!) I wanted to briefly describe my experience reading about two main characters with no defined gender as a cis woman myself and also just as a reader. It was quite honestly fascinating. I suppose just putting myself in the shoes of Dex (the most relatable of the two since they are human lol) was interesting in absorbing their world and the casual use of they/them pronouns. I feel like their lack of gender also provided the ability to make them a character you feel you could naturally identify with, no matter your gender identity. This is important because Dex experiences complex thoughts and feelings that we ALL think about and not limiting them to a specific gender didn’t make it feel like it had to be tied to anything specific. Dex is a they/them individual. But you as the reader (no matter how you identify) can almost insert yourself as Dex in the scenes where they ask hard questions that we all ask. I can metaphorically BE Dex in that situation, whereas I’d perhaps feel more disconnected from the scene and the complex thoughts if Dex were male for example. Being non-binary lends the character to being relatable to a lot of different people and I think that’s really interesting and cool. Okay nerdy ramble over lol.
No, don't apologize, I love hearing people ramble about what they're passionate about! I'll look into the books, thank you so much for the recommendation!
I was just gonna write about it, Chamber's book are amazing! It was my first time seeing an NB character in literature. Also, yeah, they're called Sibling because they're a monk, kinda how you would call someone a 'Sister Mary' or 'Father John'. Took me a while to figure out this obvious detail. :D
Hi, another enby creator here :) Your video made me cry, especially when you talked about your own experiences in the end part. I create videogames, comics with a lot of non-binary characters in it and currently am writing a novel with an enby main character. I will take the problems mentioned in your video to heart and try to provide representation for all kinds of non-binary people! Thank you for this. Thank you for being honest and inspiring. Stay determined!
10/10 video made me cry but like in a relatable I'm not alone way. Keep up the good work, now time to binge through the rest of your vids since this is the 1st one I found :P
Ngl I always forget I’m subscribed to you and then I watch your videos and I’m like “WAITTT I KNOW THEM” Object permanence at its best. Edit. So my personal experience with gender is that I am amab, but I prefer to present feminine. Sometimes I’m actually not sure what I prefer, because sometimes I don’t feel like very feminine. Also I remember reading that like example in the monty fic, and man there’s so many times in that fic that have had me in feels. Another edit. They Were a Punk He Was a Croc is actually one of my favorite Monty reader fics, and I have literally read every single one with an over 100k wordcount. I’m always so excited when I see it update, though right now I’m really on the edge of my seat with the current chapter.
Object permanence is optional. Yeah, I meant to get started on the next chapter this week but then I got completely sucked into making this video. I'll get started on it soon, I promise!
@@WritinRealSlow take all the time you need! I know writing is really difficult when you have a lot going on, I’ve barely written anything since last september lol
undertale/deltarune has sort of the direct opposite of the “in the fandom but not actually in the media” thing because the games will show the protags’ pronouns latant as hell and tons of whiny bitches in the fandom will still make any excuse to misgender them. and there’s pretty much no way they’d do the same thing if the characters were called he or she. also one of my fav portrayals of genderqueer characters is all the ones in the fiction podcast hello from the hallowoods i dont wanna bother to explain why but i do want to recommend that more people check it out hehe good video :3 validated the heck out of my gender
UA-cam suggested me this video at random, and I couldn't be happier for it. Your talks about your own experiences and dysphoria hit close to home, since I to am an enby who presents masc. And I never realized that there were so many kids shows now with enby characters, and that makes me happy.
saw the bard in the thumbnail from wandersong and immediately clicked lol, my little guy! love them sm wandersong my beloved really nice video i enjoyed it alot!! perfect to build a glass dome in minecraft to lol, really informative even as someone genderqueer myself ❤
as an enby I feel u, like I have dysphoria and I mostly tune it out to cope with my day to day life cus I’m not entirely out. it feels awful, most people see me as a girl and when I come out to them I feel like they still view me as a girl but with extra steps which frustrates me so much and it’s hard not to internalize. i was very fem most of my life (now I’d consider myself androgynous) witch made it hard for so many people in my life to understand how I am nonbinary and trans masc , I’ve tried explaining and I don’t even blame them because it hard to articulate. i finally had someone like u to say what I’ve been feeling for so long when it comes to body stuff like other than top surgery there’s nothing else i can do, sometimes i wish i was amab but then i don’t feel like it would change much cus I’d still me dysphoric nothing fully fits which makes me question sometimes if i was supposed to even exist as a human being. I’m tired tbh.
you actually inspired me to make agender masc presenting character, or rather, develope the one i'm working one, basically a weeb and nerd but badass and cool cowboy ronin who larps as one in zombie apoc, and whose nerdiness actually helped build a very strong community, not only with practical knowledge such as smithing but also by just being a cheerfull dork
great video - diverse nb rep is SUPER important with how little recognition they get. I mean the protag of my own little indie game goes by they/them and is also bald which I haven't seen much representation for
@@WritinRealSlow hi, it's called "Gerald Smith's Orggannick Adventure" - it's an rpg inspired by undertale. there is a demo on itch but it's still in early development (whole game will be free tho and has a lot of qol changes) the nb character I mentioned is the protag called Farmhat - they're a silent protagonist with little character as of the demo but I do have a lot more stuff planned with them. also it has a sentient cryptobro toilet if that helps
@@WritinRealSlowoh wow that's really cool!!! it only has like 30 downloads rn!! also a lot of stuff is gonna be changed (including a CERTAIN puzzle) so if anything is too confusing or tedious feel free to ask! I have the same username everywhere :)
WANDERSONG MENTIONED LETS FUCKING GO (it is one of my favorite games of all time) also about the collector from the owl house, i'm pretty sure they use singular they at least once in the show, because i caught it and was gushing about it with my friends immediately after finishing the episode, but i forget exactly when it happens. understandable that you missed it lmao
I love these discussion type of videos, I am an AFAB Enby that I am very happily married to my Husband who is an AMAB Enby. I'm so grateful that there are others who are talking bout being Nonbinary in many different presenting ways instead of just "one way."
So I sorta relate to having a detachment of gender. With me though, how I put it is that I’m “gender apathetic”. I’m fine being viewed as a girl but like I’ve never fully felt connected to that like others when I thought about it. People using they for me is fine too. For me gender sorta just feels like “this is a thing I guess”. Honestly, I’ve been using DnD as a way to explore my identity more, and have actually been thinking about more NB characters for me to play which is a lot of fun for me! Also, on a different note, when it came to Masha in OH, I didn’t even notice their name plaque 😂. I just saw their nails and got really excited myself
For the AMAB enby thing, and my thoughts went to that's why I don't think I really try. I also deal with anxiety and being on the autism, so I already don't want to stand out, and I know that I am mostly going to be seen as a man with long hair and sometimes painted nails. There is not a whole lot I can do to distance from male, but I guess I could be okay with feminine, if not for howI know those things will be seen on me. So it is a lot of living through representation.
Inanimate Insanity had at least 2 whole character arcs about characters coming out as trans, and the whole rest of the object show community is very unapologetic about trans representation in what is essentially a bunch of series of animations and media about anthropomorphic objects which is pretty cool :3
Recently been watching the Object Show as per a deal with a friend and strangely one of the best Non-binary characters I’ve seen is Paintbrush from Animate Insanity. Well, not so much season 1 where the whole joke was no one knew if they were male or female, with even a cut line calling them a “gender unknown freak.”(the creator was an actual child at the time though so I’ll give slack) But in season 2 onward it becomes good representation in my opinion. They have another moment of a character not knowing their gender, but then ending it with the character realizing Paintbrush is “C: none of the above.” Characters, even enemies of them, only use they/them pronouns and do not misgender them after the reveal. Paintbrush has a little non-binary flag by their bed in one of the scenes. They even ended up hiring a non-binary person to voice Paintbrush from I think season 3 onward. And honestly it made me feel good seeing that. I could relate because in my own experience on my discord it was a running joke for a year no one knew what gender I was including myself because I knew I wasn’t cis but didn’t felt trans either. And going from just make it a running gag to actual representation with heart to it is so sweet to me
m.ua-cam.com/video/XEsbsOc6vZg/v-deo.html&pp=ygUocGFpbnRicnVzaCBpbmFuaW1hdGUgaW5zYW5pdHkgbm9uIGJpbmFyeQ%3D%3D moments with Paintbrush. I think the first part is especially nice to show on screen
Update: just binged all of II and yeah, Paintbrush is amazing representation. But they also have the character Bot, originally a robot based off a deceased character who goes through an arc of realizing who they are, making it clear to the others despite their body and memories that they are not that person the others thought or wanted them to be, wants people to not make a big deal of their identity and treat them like everyone else, goes by they/them afterwards, changes their name to Bot, changes their appearance to be who THEY want to be, and makes it clear that they are “Bot, the one and only!” They do go through struggles, with ep 14 having them have a panic attack at the thought of facing their mother because “she’s hasn’t seen me before I changed” and even though they know their mom won’t be mad at them, it’s the looming fear of coming out and “going back to that place” that hurts them. In one episode they even give this speech to a friend: “you know…lately I’ve been worried…if I went by a different name or maybe even…l-looked a little different…I wouldn’t be me anymore. But you helped me realize that no matter what you put out there, you’re still you.” I don’t think I ever cried this hard at or felt this seem by representation before. Ep 14 had me have to pause the episode five times to make sure I was okay to continue because it resonated with me that hard of someone recently coming out as non-binary. Yeah it falls under the robot category but given everyone in the show is non human and that they tear down that trope I think it works here
boyfriend dungeon gave me such levels of euphoria I have not experienced since, the characters do have some valid critiques but overall, best NB game of all time
I wish so bad I could have had characters like Raine Whispers growing up. From my end, anytime I've taken steps to transition or talk about my dysphoria and euphoria and the body and voice I am striving for, I just get "so you're trying to be a man". It's like no one ever even listens. I want top surgery, a hysterectomy, and vocal training. I've gone around and around on T because I want some effects, but not all. And I wish I could just slightly broaden my rib cage and shoulders, and I wish my face wasn't so round and soft, but there's not really a whole lot I can do about that. And I'm worried I'm just not capable of having the voice I want because I'm a first soprano. Another thing I don't see many people talk about is that being androgynous often means being visibly trans, and that's REALLY scary. Due to bathroom laws in my state and increased violence against trans people in bathrooms, no matter which room they use, I'm honestly just too scared to use public restrooms. I am scrawny and weak and for some reason feel constantly feeble and exhausted these days, and I genuinely have no clue if I'm going to be perceived as a man or a woman on any given day by any given person. And if I want my proper pronouns to be used, I NEED to come out. There is no option to be stealth. Not if I plan to transition. And I can't stand the dysphoria. I cannot explain to you just how bad and how CONSISTENTLY bad it is. It is torturous. It is hell. And it causes me so much pain and distress to know it is IMPOSSIBLE to have a body and voice that matches me. I hate it so much.
@@WritinRealSlow Thanks. It's been really bad today. I don't know what time it is there, but it's just past midnight here. Happy Trans Day of Visibility (and Easter if it so applies)!
Thank you for this video it really was great to see someone share similar experiences to mine. As an amab enby myself, I really feel the struggles you mention and this inability to express yourself. I'm really lucky to have a few friends that accept me for who I am but I just didnt have the courage to really out myself in school or in my family because I know most of them just wouldnt accept it. What I'm trying to say is that you are not alone with these struggles and I feel you. Sending big hugs and thank you so much for this video again, I'll definitely be checking out more from your channel
in stars and time mentioned!!! siffrin was the nonbinary representation i needed because siffrin presents exactly as i want to, and also siffrin has a very similar personality to me anyway. there's a reason in stars and time is my favorite game. also, siffrin isn't explicitly not aromantic, in the text they're only implied to be asexual, leaving the romantic attraction up for interpretation.
Honestly, I feel this as an amab nb who doesn't mind presenting masc and uses xe/them. I have always felt like an outsider and one day I wish I could swager around, confident in my body. But being a bigger person with a slight desire to eventually to have the ability to have the body I want (which will require surgery) Also I am surprised you didn't mention Testament from Guilty Gear. They used to be a character that constantly got stuck on the bad side of things (ie killing their adoptive father, reviving big bio weapons, etc) but after six years of having time to discover themself and what they like, they realized they were nb and have a massive list of hobbies/some very androgenous swagger
This is one of my favorite videos! The first time I watched it a teared up a little, for context I don't really cry that much for some reason. It feels really good to know that their is representation for me out their. I haven't been exposed to much NB representation in media so this video makes me feel seen, just knowing that artists went through the effort to make a character that shares a part of their identity with me! Also, your identity is so fucking valid no matter what other people say! Those people who you thought were your friends are queerphobes (Yes, queer people can be queerphobes). Im just happy this video has got so much views, you really deserve it! I subscribed to you because of this video.
My Spouse (They do except wife since it is by position to them and less gendered. That and we are in an area where gender representation can be an issue) is AFAB and wants to be androgynous but sometimes they are fluid and present either. Also, despite the fact I am cisgendered through my spouse and the Community in general, if it wasn't by survival reasons and just ease for me to fall back on, I would have been Agender. I find gender as a social crutch that allows too much limitation of presentation. However, I find it easier to just be he/him and present male. I do feel slight dysphoria with She/Her but oddly enough, clothing isn't too gendered for me. Just Shaped to body types. But hey, I am quirky and in the end, I am an ally as best as I can be 😊
I do think indie places tend to have better rep. Less restricted by big companies. I also really like the visual novel series "our life". In the first game you can only date Lake (he/him) but you can change your gender and pronouns at any point in the game. The second game only has the demo out right now but you can date a masc nonbinary (they/he from memory) and grow up with them. My favourite interaction in the demo was because I chose they/them as my pronouns, they asked "you can do that?!??" It's a very cute story and both games are free. The money they get is from the dlc! Unfortunately with masc enbies is society hates feminity. It's much easier for afab people to transition to andro-masc then a amab to andro-fem. I am afab myself and use they>he so I don't know your pain. But I do unfortunately see the societal rules as why from someone who is perceived as a woman. As a creative, I tend to draw/write self inserts in different bodies to see how it feels from a safe/detached place. It might be something beneficial to you if you are on the fence on if you want to medically transition or not.
This was a nice video to watch while working, we've come so far with representation but we still have so much further to go. I am gender fluid and AFAB, most days my gender, and the presentation I feel comfortable in is what I describe as 'boy in a skirt' but because I am AFAB and haven't had any gender affirming healthcare (and due to medical reasons I can't really wear a binder), so I often get percieved like a 'girly girl' and that's very dysphoric, because while the clothes I wear make me extremely happy, people see me as a woman when I dress like that. So then I dress more androgyonous, which gets me gendered correctly more often or atleast makes people question my gender before they decided on 'girl' but those clothes don't make me as happy. I basically have to pick between society induced dysphoria or clothing induced dysphoria and it's exhausting, it's discouraging and there's no way out of this place any time soon. I know my identiy is valid but not many people in my life actually see me as the gender I am.
I’m from russia, and the screenshot of ruby with a mustache is actually fake - they just gave her a male va in the dub (and that’s the reason why they didn’t translate the episode with the garnet’s wedding (because she wears a dress there) and just skipped it lol)
It makes me actually pretty angry hearing about how poorly people are treated just because they don’t fit a certain type of trans. It makes me upset that I have to deal with the thought that the greater world is quite literally not made with me in mind. My place has to be carved out and sometimes I feel too tired to do it. Like it’s not just that I’m queer but I also have the case of Triple A which is like anxiety, autism, and adhd which sure is a fun cocktail of stuff that makes shit harder to do. A long while back I actually had a thought that changed how I interpreted people I didn’t even know. The thought that someone would look at me and assume that I am not nonbinary makes me deeply uncomfortable. I was uncomfortable enough to realize that just because someone dresses a certain way doesn’t mean they can’t be genderqueer. So most of the time by default I use they/them for everyone until I know exactly what their pronouns are. Most of the time I don’t have problems with descriptive words until it gets gendered in a feminine way in which I will feel wildly uncomfortable. Funny enough I’ve met a handful of nonbinary people and at least two of them use at least he/they pronouns and have semi-frizzy/fluffy half dyed purple hair. If I had a nickel for every enby I met that had frizzy half dyed purple hair I’d have two nickels which isn’t a lot but it’s cool that it’s happened twice. Also I was scrolling through tumblr once which is something that only happened because there was a gender queer person there and there was something like “it’s always enby pussy this, enby pussy that, what about enby dick?” And ngl it was in fact a moment and I thought about just how fucked it was that so much content was focused on fem enbies. It was sad and it made me sad and that creator I mentioned is no longer there and that makes me sad and I wish that they were because my god did they make such banger genderless content. Anyways nonbinary people are cool and masc enbies should have support. It’s not an option it’s a threat. I will be violently upset and I will in fact cry about it.
I am a masc non-binary person too. I have felt the same way about our rep too. Also, one more nb character is Hermes from the video game Stray Gods: The Roleplaying Musical. Hermes is more masc presenting (at least that's my read of them) and everyone refers to them with they/them pronouns. Also, the game has a lot of lgbt+ rep in general.
Im sure this has been said a lot in this comment section , but as someone who’s only semi recently figured out their an enby, goodness this was so just, amazing to watch, feeling seen and not alone. This video made me smile and tear up more then any others have in a long while. I think i speak for all of us when i say thank you, truly thank you ^^
I'm so happy to hear that! My biggest goal when making my representation videos is to help people feel seen, and knowing I could make you smile makes it worth every second of work!
oh my god you are the first person I've ever heard of to be agender and actively get uncomfortable at being gendered I just thought it didn't happen at this point in other people because I've only heard of just not caring at all, I'm agender and get really uncomfortable at people gendering me, although in really specific ways, like if I've been seen as and had pronouns used for one specific gender too much, I'll get more uncomfortable with those pronouns used and actively happy that someone sees me as the other, but if I feel generally pretty equally seen as either gender those will start to make me uncomfortable. like I have to keep the gender perception scale equal - I am so sorry that your friends decided you weren't non binary enough. I am shook. not good with words right now if you can't tell but I am so sorry that happened. its difficult to put into words the desire to give someone a hug should they want it but the sentiment is there so
Thank you for this wonderful video! As an agender person, everything you said during your personal experience section heavily resonated with me. I truly hope we can all work towards a community that is more accepting of masc presenting non binary people and amab non binary people. I got really curious about the poem you wrote about the experience of being gender queer, is it something you'd like to share? It's totally okay if it's not!
Not sure if anyone has mentioned this game yet but there is a lovely dating sim out there called dialtown which at the beginning of a route allows you to pick she/her, he/him, they/them or your adding your own custom pronouns, which I think is really neat (obviously which pronouns you choose don’t affect who you can or cannot date) it’s on steam if you have the time and money
@@WritinRealSlow I relate to alot of what you said abt the experience of being nonbinary agender, although I feel a weird connection to femininity and masculinity, happy pride!!!
I came in here expecting something more video essay-ish, and I was really positively surprised by the genuineness and vulnerability you showed through your writing. I’m an amab agender person, built tall and wide and with a full beard that I actually really love, though I hate its gender. Your description of the experience of being non-binary had me just sit there for a minute, feeling incredibly not alone for the first time in a while. Most everyone just thinks of me as “a man who uses strange pronouns,” and time and time again I have to come up with a way to come out to new people, sometimes even the same people who didn’t get it the first time. My assigned gender feels exactly like that suit, like it’s all people see when they look at me. It’s hard reconciling that with who I really am, and coming to terms with people who don’t bother to look any deeper. I just wanted to say thank you for being so honest. It’s not easy, especially when you’re in front of a microphone, but it really made my night to know for sure that I’m not the only one like me. Even down to the aspiring writer thing! It’s clear you care a lot about stories and how they speak to us, and I’m thankful we can have so many people like that going into the creative industries. Thank you for all you do my friend 🥹
I'm so glad I was able to make you feel this way! My biggest goal with my representation videos is to make people feel seen and worthy, and knowing I was able to help even one person honestly makes every second of work worth it!
i love this video and as someone who is amab nonbinary i gotta say the ending really hit home like sometimes i feel like ill only be seen as a man and like there is nothing i can do about it even medical transition doesnt help because then ill just be a woman and thats not what i want either being nonbinary has been hard for me and ive even tried taking my own life before because of how hard it is and this video honestly makes me feel very seen thank you for the great content
Nightshade from Transformers Earthspark is nonbinary they/them who explicitly says it in their introduction episode, stating that he or she just doesn't fit who they are. all of their family members (because they have 6 siblings and an adopted human family) respect this, as well as Optimus Prime asking for their pronouns. it's really cool to see, because while there are other trans characters in other media from the franchise, this is the first time we've gotten a character who doesn't use binary gendered terms.
I really liked the dnd section I tried to express who I am through my own dnd character Gweneal Ainsley a changeling bard that goes by any pronouns. I also follow a dnd liveplay group called the dndorks and they had a lot of trans and nonbinary characters in the few campaigns they have had, here is all of them: Glib (trans man, Symmetry Saga, cursed unlucky frog man, he came out as trans before he got cursed into a frog, "not again"), Emmy/Emerald (he/they, Symmetry Saga, gets refered to as child by Glib who named and adopted them), Some Guy I Guess/SG (they/them, Symmetry Saga, "I am not a woman, I am a motherfucking nightmare", afterwards they get refered to as little nightmare which has become the name for fans), Bello (he/they, Symmetry Saga, little chaos butterfly that turned to be way more important than people first thought), Arliss Blackstone (they/them, Bussiness Venture, evil evil person but so is the rest of the cast), Valentine (they/them, Miner Infractions, also a more minor character and a villain, cast still respects their pronouns.) Yes I still find it funny that so many canon trans characters come from one campaign and most that I mentioned are player characters. Most of them are nonhuman except technically Glib who was born as a human.
I was lucky enough to find a dnd group that wholeheartedly supports me and my identity. They made the game a safe and special place for me and I love them all so much! I play a nonbinary tiefling cleric and everyone really likes them!
I've played lil gator game quite a bit, 100%ing the steam achievements, and I never even noticed the gender neutral pronouns and now I'm just like "Oh. :)"
I'm a feminine non-binary/offgirl and personally, I mainly think of non-binary on the more masc side, kinda androgynous. Of course, I see everyone as what they are though this is usually think of right off the bat, so I kinda had no idea about the fact that fem presenting non-binary people was the main. Pretty sure the first non-binary person I saw was Raine, at least the first masc presenting non-binary person
Great video. This really resonated with me as an fellow masculine enbie ( who's also gay ). I'll be honest, I never heard much about masc enbies ( specifically amab masc enbies ) getting the short end of the stick. But I guess it doesn't surprised me since androgynous enbies ( especially femme leaning ones ) get the bigger push by those who only accept a certain type of enbie ( which completely defeats the point of being non binary ). I have felt like people would treat me less favorably just because I'm an masc leaning enbie, because it their eyes, especially if I'm in a relationship with another guy, I'm cisgendered. I haven't come out to anyone yet irl, so it's still just a fear of mine, and not an experience I've gone through. I never had a lot of enbie representation that I liked, tbh ( especially compared to gay rep ). There's Raine, sure. And I especially love the enbie rep in Xenoblade 3 ( especially since Xeno is one of my biggest special interests ). But at least with the media I've consumed/have an interest in consuming ( including Wandersong, which I've wanted to play for years ), I haven't seen any good rep. I love my gender identity and expression though, and still have my own self validation. But it still would be great to have more positive rep in media, and to have people in my life who'll accept and support me
What an agreeable video indeed! I've also had it with dysphoria and especially feeling foreign and unwanted. I live in Germany and gender is a heavy (most often political) topic here. It's really not that easy to not describe someone without a gender in German but it is definitely possible:) Sometimes some stuff might come out extra-long or a bit funky but it has it's charm. It's just not the norm. Typically this would mean using adjectives instead of nouns, because our adjectives typically won't explicitly state gender. Sadly my mom is of the opinion that really, enbies aren't real and she won't respect my pronouns:/ A real pain for sure. Anyways, I really enjoyed this video and I'm definitely gonna steal that gorgeous nail design!
I also thought that bit of you almost crying was brilliant! I've also struggled with the slogan "boys don't cry" and it means the world to me when someone doesn't just cut away and excuses themselves for their sobbing. Very humanizing! Also it should be normal to cry for any person, regardless. I wish people would be able to see that3>
Another video game that's good with representation is Apex Legends. Bloodhound is one of their first characters and is nonbinary. A lot of their lgbt rep is confirmed in game too which is refreshing.
Oh, goodness, Little Gator Game and Kaiju Noir look delightful. .w. As an aside, I should probably note that there's a fair bit of reasonably explicit non-binary rep in Japanese media which was obscured in translation due to the fact that the way Japanese uses pronouns is fundamentally different from how English does and a lot of English translators just weren't as good on queer issues as they are now. I alluded to this in another comment, but a classic example of this is Kino from Kino's Journey, who while assigned female at birth began not only dressing androgynously as a teenager but using the softly masculine personal pronoun "boku," musing in an OVA episode of the series where they are shown making this choice on feeling neither male nor female, and throughout the series states when incorrectly gendered by strangers, "I'm not a [man/woman], I'm Kino." While "Word of God" here is obviously not text, the light novel author has been fairly emphatic that he intended to present Kino as agender in the text, although such a term wasn't necessarily in his vocabulary when he began writing the series nor do the characters necessarily have those words, but regardless, context within the text honestly makes it pretty obvious if you're paying attention. But again, not a lot of people seem to have been aware of this in the early '00s, so you still have Wikipedia referring to Kino as female because that's how the text was framed for a long time. That said, people will also do this with non-binary characters when the translation *does* frame them correctly, sooooooo… :\ P.S. As a kind of soft-butch AMAB enby-not masc but, y'know, I wear a lot of flannel in a gay way-I've definitely noticed that there is a tendency to frame non-binary-ness as either Woman Lite or, conversely for some AFAB folks, Butch Lesbian But More So, and it can certainly be more than a little condescending, although I see it less in media (in part because of the rarity of representation) than I do from certain cis or binary trans queer people on the Internet, and not just weird transmeds. I think part of it is that legibility is essential to the kinds of acceptability politics certain folks engage in around queerness and really operating outside the binary is fundamentally illegible in those terms, but a lot of it is just basic ignorance, I think. P.P.S. The spandex suit metaphor is a good way of putting it. For me, it's more, I guess… this overlaps with my neurodivergence, but I'd describe it as being a creature which is fundamentally not human, although worthy of the same respect and care as a human, wearing the shape of a human being like ill-fitting, stifling yet baggy clothes which I've been coaxed into wearing against my will and which sometimes slip and reveal strange details regardless. In any case, hearing about what happened with your former friends was horrifying, and I genuinely hope that you have better people around you now who actually treat you with the respect that you deserve.
4:11 well I personally think I don't feel uncomfortable when people gender me. I don't really know which pronouns I should use and I mostly don't care what pronouns you call me (unless you call me "it", I don't like it pronouns for me) which is why I use any pronouns.
idk if you read manga, but theres this one manga that helped me understand my gender identity. its called "the gender of mona lisa". its a good manga. although, there are some... not good representation, and also the conclusion might not be the best. but i still think its worth the read if youre interested. also, i enjoyed the video. will be sharing it🧡
Hello, this got recommended to me and I'm honestly sorry about your friends... But I've been on my own journey myself because I like the idea of being every gender. I wish real life had a video game character customizer in which you can change your appearance depending on how you feel. But as much as I like to say "I'm every gender!", I'm not 100% sure if I'm fluid. Heck I'm not sure if I want a label for my own gender identity because I still like going by she/her. But I don't feel cis either. So it's been a roller coaster. And coming out even to my own parents who are very accepting is tricky. Mainly because I don't know my own label!! And I like the idea of saying "Angel is me. I'm King, Queen, and Monarch of my own body!!" Also as a Steven Universe fan who didn't engage with the fandom a lot because of both toxic fans and haters alike, I agree with everything you said. Heck when I did an exercise one time of "what if the Infinity Stones were crystal gems", I ended up making Reality exclusively he/him, Time a he/they, Mind a They/them exclusively, and Soul (or Jazz as she calls herself since she wants to distance herself from being the Soul Stone) she/they. I liked the idea of there being gems who identified in different ways. And I too wish we had that in the show. Also as a person who is wearing a TVA shirt currently, Loki is honestly my favorite fluid! I want to be a chaos entity!
Shameless promo of my favourite game, but in Reverse:1999 there’s two canonically nonbinary characters (or under the trans umbrella), Medicine Pocket and The Fool (yes those are their names). They both have voice lines in game specifying they don’t care about pronouns & don’t align with any gender. Although they don’t appear in the main story MedPoc is also implied to be intersex
@@WritinRealSlowI hope you like it! Medicine Pocket is a fan favourite, they will appear in the main story briefly and have been mentioned. The Fool was featured in another character’s “side story” (called anecdotes). Both are playable. The game is still pretty new, but it has a really relaxed relationship with gender imo. There’s female characters that have no problem being perceived as men in their fields (Onion, Bette) and the word “transgender” is even said out loud at one point
I like Alex Fierro in Magnus Chase because although she is a shapeshifter and genderfluid,she complains to Magnus that she can only change her species,not her sex.His gender fluidity is not a result of his Shapeshifting or vice versa. Also this is unrelated but you have a lovely voice.
in the case of steven universe, i'm pretty sure the gems being a "gender-less race" was a necessary cover up that could allow the studio execs to approve of the gay relationships to air in America in the first place. edit: not intended as an angry comment lol, but i will watch the rest and make another edit later edit2:i wouldn't be surprised if what i heard was rumor stemming from the tweet. Even so yeah it does suck that being nonbinary was used as an excuse to have gay relationships in kids television. Personally i am overall glad that it did happen since it helped pioneer lgbt+ representation in kids media, even though it's a little upsetting.
For rule 6: just to nitpick, It’s more than just masc presenting though.Even if you present as feminine if you read too masc because you’re on or were on a testosterone system you can get excluded. It’s not always about presentation.
Also non-white nonbinary rep. As hard as it is to find human nonbinary representation, it’s even harder to find non-white NB reps. The only example that comes to mind at the moment is sex education, but there may be more. Feel free to let me know :)
Probably my favorite Raine moment:
“Blasphemy!”
“Blasphem YOU!”
24:52
We do hear King and Luz use both he and they for the Collector, I think you can find it most during the finale
ah, thank you
When I was watching The Owl House with one of my friends when Masha was wearing the NB flag on their nails i immediately got excited and mentioned it and my friend was like "huh? what are you talking about" and im just so happy that that was included and god i wanna do that with my nails so bad, this video is amazing overall thank you so much for it!!! hearing your experience was amazing, and im sorry that friend group did that to you, i hope you've found better friends since then. and again, thank you so much for the video
I really want to paint my nails like that too, I just can't because of my job. And I did find a much better friend group, thank you!
My job is the reason I don't paint my nails anymore as well, but one day I'll use nail polish again, and that's good to hear!!
I painted them like that yesterday
Nice!!
My favorite response of choice to "whats in your pants?" Is "nothing the human mind can comprehend, thats for sure."
that's a new one XD
pretty sure a can comprehend a dick
Everyone says “what’s in your pants” but not “what’s in your shirt” smh my head so sad 😢😢😢😢😢😢
it's a tragedy alright
24:56 The collector is referred to as “he” by some characters and as “they” by others. Eberwolf is also he/they.
(Any/all)
The mention of the "what's in your pants" conversation reminds me of an argument I had with someone who claimed to be a trans man, saying that being trans is ALWAYS about the genitals.
Literally using those same words of "what's in your pants determines your gender", and they even said that every trans person should think like him!
I'm not trans so I don't know what that's like, but honestly I just found the situation really weird, Especially given the fact that it all started with him accusing people of sexualizing trans people by simply headcanon characters as trans, saying that anyone who makes those headcanon think about the characters' genitals(even though most people who make trans headcanons are trans themselves), and for me this is... This is the most insane thing I've heard in my life...
This person also accused him of transphobia for simply disagreeing with him. Yeah, crazy story...
yeah, I genuinely don't get some people
Makes me think of that calico cat from Fortnite. People head-cannon him as a trans guy because of genetics! No I am not sexualizing the cat man. He is most likely xx or xxy chromosomes! Meaning trans or intersex.
@@sarahc5608 There is also male Calico cats; granted, they're infertile though, which if anything; is a completely different form of rep that should also be accepted. (for some reason there's a LOT of bashing on this HC)
@@ARandomEliatrope Male calico cat is xxy: Klinefelter Syndrome. There are no xy calico cats in order to be calico they need two Xs because of the color pigments (orange or black) and genetics. There’s not enough space on the Y chromosome for calico tricolor.
According to some definitions that would make the cat intersex due to it not being xx or xy. Some people define intersex as ambiguous sex characteristics (likely at birth), and don’t include Klinefelter Syndrome. Others include it as intersex, personally I would due to the mixed characteristics that show during puberty.
Most people dislike the male calico cat counter argument because it’s usually brought up to stop trans head-cannons. I think it’s important to note that there’s no binary male calico cats, so the cat is NOT just an infertile male. XXY and XY are different. XXY often causes infertility.
The cat is either a trans man or a man that has Klinefelter Syndrome (sometimes included under intersex) and nothing is confirmed. I wouldn’t bash either head-cannon, both can coexist. I just like scientific accuracy and genetics. 🤷
Id love a Game Theory on this!
@@sarahc5608I mean, that's mostly done out of... y'know. Wanting a trans character in a video game they like and headcanoning them as such. Headcanons are only malicious if they're outright stated to be. People headcanoning characters as trans because it makes them feel more comfortable isn't a bad thing, even if it's based off of the statistics of most calico cats being female.
17:43 this feels like so much to me as a queer poc. the world really doesnt want people like me in it. but im here anyways, the worlds just gonna have to get used to it
hell yeah! The world can stone the fuck up and deal with us being here
I'm a writer (hobby for now) and this changed how I think about NB representation. Thank you very much.
I'm so glad I could help!
@@p-__Lmao
What a horrible group of people to think saying you will never view someone as their true gender is necessary, let alone to someone you consider a friend. Even if you feel like that, it costs nothing to keep it to yourself. More than anything it demonstrates a lack of understanding - no doubt you expressed to them how you felt about your gender before, yet they still only focused on appearance. We're all guilty of assuming someone's gender at face value but it's the effort to look beyond that and not blurt out your knee-jerk reaction which counts. As trans people themselves i can only presume they were dealing with their own self-image issues and projected them onto you, either that or they're just cruel. I hope you've been able to make more empathetic friends since then that acknowledge and appreciate your gender irrespective of appearance.
Much love from a fellow enbie 💛🤍💜🖤
thank you ^_^
I almost feel like Afab trans people/enbies are seen as the only “socially acceptable” trans people/enbies. As a transfem enby, this can get very exhausting- like I’m always needing to perform my gender for my gender to be accepted, and even then I’m hardly ever accepted- it’s exhausting lol
I can only imagine how tiring it must be
afab enbies aren't "socially accepted" I've gotten bullied, physically and sexually assaulted amab enbies are *underrepresented*. but the way you phrased it is insulting.
@@homosapien7316 I gotta agree with this, NBs are always treated like "diet woman" until we're AMAB, it comes off really condescending and honestly really tiring, the way the OPs comment is phrased makes it sound like afab trans folk get it off easy; when they absolutely don't, and alot of AFAB trans folk are incredibly hated by other trans folk for, from what i've seen, absolutely no reason whatsoever.
@@homosapien7316 I didn’t mean it to be insulting. I should’ve phrased it better. I meant that they were the only ones incels seem to “accept”. And as somebody who’s also been sexually assaulted and bullied, I didn’t mean to belittle your experience.
@@sunny.rainbowsyeah incels do not accept us. They see us as women who need to be fixed. They only like us because of their fetishes. Not trying to attack you just saying the truth.
My older sibling is agender and AFAB. They present in both sides of the spectrum, but are more on the masculine side. They despise dresses and love sweaters.
People like them EXIST and I never realized masculine Nonbinary people were pushed back because my siblings normalized masculine nonbinary for me.
@@p-__ hUh
Shout out to Cookie Run, who just casually has almost 40 playable Nonbinary characters throughout the series last time I checked. Granted, the series has over 200 playable characters total, but almost 40 is still pretty good (wish the fandom didn't misgender some of them so often).
I've never even heard of the game until now, I'll give it a look
Thank you so much for sharing your experience. I initially really struggled with the fact that after my gender journey started and I realized I wasn't cis, my expression didn't change much, and I felt like that made me a fake enby, in a sense.
In 2020, I started questioning my gender, and that later turned into really bad dysphoria around early 2021. I would wake up every morning and feel dysphoria. I would go to bed crying because of dysphoria. I couldn't focus on school or even think in my head (Spanish being my native tongue didn't help) without thinking about my gender. I would have complete breakdowns at 3 am, where all I could do was cry for hours, not knowing why I couldn't stop questioning my identity but didn't feel anything negative towards my body.
I knew vaguely about the concept of being NB but didn't have a clear idea of it. I didn't even consider it something I could be. Still, I decided to research while trying to figure myself out and realized I could be something other than "boy" or "girl."
I've only been identifying as NB (not a more specific label because I don't feel like I need it) for a year at this point, but I've enjoyed existing so much more since then. I've stopped breathing and living dysphoria all day, every day, to maybe feeling it once every few months for a few hours or a day at most. I've even experienced gender euphoria. I feel such a genuine warmth in my chest when I think of myself as enby or when I get called "they."
Me still presenting in a masculine manner will never invalidate any of that, and I'm sorry people you trusted did that to you.
I know exactly how you feel. There's a warmth unlike anything else that spreads from your heart through the rest of your body when people start gendering your correctly, when you're finally seen for who you are. Gender euphoria is the greatest feeling and I'm so happy that you found it!
Hola!! I wanted to comment and say that as someone under the non-binary umbrella, it makes me so fucking happy to see someone talking about representation of our community, both the good, and the..not so good execution of representation is important to talk about, even if that means exploring the more controversial and uncomfortable aspects of it. WritinRealSlow for non-binary president 2024!!
I really like this video. I'm still trying to make my own nonbinary characters present in different ways other than fem (I tend to lean toward fem presenting with designing characters). I was actually drawing one of my nonbinary ocs while watching this video and when you brought up Stevonnie and their facial hair made me decide to add facial hair to them, so that was fun :3
Great video as always! I'm so glad your talking about non-binary rep, it's (sadly) rare to see rep for enbies at all, let alone masc presenting as you said. I just want to say thank you: this video made me feel much more comfortable being me, feel less strange being a masc presenting enby.
The rest of this will be a rant, don't feel obligated to read it at all, but I kind of need to get it out. We're living through a tube of change, a time where LGBTQ+ people are going from seem as horrid, inhuman things, to bring seen as we are, just people who are a bit different. And it's hard, because you don't know where someone is in their personal process, whether they think of you as a person or a demon. But things are improving, thank god. Again, sorry for the rant, just needed to get it out and I don't really have anyone to talk to
no, I'm really happy to get your thoughts on it! And I'm really, truly happy I could make something that made you feel seen and comfortable. Thank you for sharing!
Here's a non-binary character from a recent game, Juniper from Xenoblade Chronicles 3, they are never referred to with gendered pronouns and even in the game's data their gender is listed as 2 (0 is for male 1 is for female).
There's also Dante, the main character of the Korean gacha game Limbus Company, they are only referred to with they/them, they do have a clock for a head but they are (as far as we know) human and the clock is merely a prosthetic, while Dante might seem like a standard blank slate gacha protagonist at first they are very much are their own person and not just a vehicle for the player.
I was not aware of either one of them, I'll give them a look. Thank you
WANDERSONG SPOTTED, IMMEDIATELY CLICKED
I hope you enjoyed the rest of the video too
BAAAARDDDDDD
@WritinRealSlow i am so far!!
@@p-__ relatable
VERY GOOD GAME 100/10 100001% AMAZING
*gives Writin really big hugs*
Thank you for sharing your experience
I love including nonbinary representation in my writing as a nonbinary person, sometimes because I can't decide if I should make a character a guy or a girl (which happens pretty often, I'm very indecisive) or because I just think that would be neat. Right now I'm working on characters based on the periodic table, and all of them generally use They/Them, except Helium (c'mon, you know why) who uses He/Him, and yet is the only explicitly nonbinary character. Just wanting to give some love of underrepresented groups :)))
He/lium is hi/larious!
As a fellow masc AMAB Enby, I definitely feel the frustration and pain. And I just wanted to say thank you for making me feel not alone and seen in regard to that specific frustration.
That was my biggest hope when I made this video, I'm so glad I could help!
Never heard of transmedicalism before watching this video and now I realized that I've been using it to shut down my own attempts to analyze myself out of fear of "losing solid ground". Your video made me seriously question my identity and the ways in which I express myself.
I hope I haven't made things harder for you
@@WritinRealSlow more like, you made me realize the error in my thinking and helped me take my attempts at analyzing my identity further than I previously did. Thank you.
@@taraelblackwing1070I'm happy I could help then ^_^
Thank you for this amazing video my friend!!!
It was very lovely and your description of your experience hit me very hard in the feels :). Thank you for sharing your story- you really hit the nail on the head as to why representation is so important.
thank you, it means a lot to hear! ^_^
You've helped me feel more validated, especially by sharing your experience. As a still closeted non-binary person, i Thank you so much. I'm taking steps toward coming out but struggle with having to live in a binary normative world. It's doesn't help that I'm tired of having to come out and worry about my experience being seen as invalid.
All of our experiences are valid. You are valid ❤Never forget that
Hello! I just read a fantastic duology called “The Monk and Robot” series by Becky Chambers. In the first book (A Psalm For the Wild Built) it is made apparent right away that the human main character is a non binary monk named Dex. I can’t quite remember if this is due to them being a monk or simply being nonbinary, but they are also often referred to as “Sibling Dex”. I am a cisgender female and this was my first time reading a book with a non-binary main character and it was so interesting!
I think a benefit of writing non-binary characters in novels is clearly the fact that we don’t get an exact picture of the character. Dex is described throughout both books as having their hair grow in between both books, so they tie it up. I think there’s also a line where they ponder if they should cut it. So that eliminates a lot of pesky readers who desperately want to know Dex’s birth gender. But it makes me almost laugh at how purposeful Chambers was at making it clear that they are androgynous, because it almost felt like an “F you, you’ll never know. Just enjoy the friggin book.” And honestly, Chambers herself might not have even decided what Dex’s birth gender was.
Dex lives in a sci-fi universe that takes place thousands of years in the future. As a means of making the world feel less like a direct problem for the two main characters, it’s described as an idyllic world. Everyone pretty much seems to get along, climate change doesn’t seem to be an issue lol, they handle some of the in world explained big changes peacefully, and Dex is never misgendered by a character. I personally like that the world is meant to feel simple, because it lets Dex exist as a character who can just be. You have a lot of fun understanding who Dex is as a person and because nobody has an issue with their gender, you feel like you don’t even need to think about it.
There is also the second main character- a sentient robot named Mosscap. It is a robot so it’s pronouns are just “it”. When Dex and Mosscap first meet (a big moment bc humans and robots haven’t made contact in thousands of years) they have a very quick and simple discussion. Dex asks if Mosscap is a gendered individual and it says no, and describes that it’s basically just an object. It asks Dex the same question and Dex says (not exact wording but just to summarize) “Yeah, I don’t have a gender either.” And that’s it. I think that’s the only discussion about gender between the two novels.
Okay and to end off my long comment essay (I deeply apologize lol, I just loved these books!) I wanted to briefly describe my experience reading about two main characters with no defined gender as a cis woman myself and also just as a reader. It was quite honestly fascinating. I suppose just putting myself in the shoes of Dex (the most relatable of the two since they are human lol) was interesting in absorbing their world and the casual use of they/them pronouns. I feel like their lack of gender also provided the ability to make them a character you feel you could naturally identify with, no matter your gender identity. This is important because Dex experiences complex thoughts and feelings that we ALL think about and not limiting them to a specific gender didn’t make it feel like it had to be tied to anything specific. Dex is a they/them individual. But you as the reader (no matter how you identify) can almost insert yourself as Dex in the scenes where they ask hard questions that we all ask. I can metaphorically BE Dex in that situation, whereas I’d perhaps feel more disconnected from the scene and the complex thoughts if Dex were male for example. Being non-binary lends the character to being relatable to a lot of different people and I think that’s really interesting and cool.
Okay nerdy ramble over lol.
No, don't apologize, I love hearing people ramble about what they're passionate about! I'll look into the books, thank you so much for the recommendation!
@@WritinRealSlow of course! Thank you for reading my essay, haha!
I was just gonna write about it, Chamber's book are amazing! It was my first time seeing an NB character in literature.
Also, yeah, they're called Sibling because they're a monk, kinda how you would call someone a 'Sister Mary' or 'Father John'. Took me a while to figure out this obvious detail. :D
Hi, another enby creator here :) Your video made me cry, especially when you talked about your own experiences in the end part.
I create videogames, comics with a lot of non-binary characters in it and currently am writing a novel with an enby main character.
I will take the problems mentioned in your video to heart and try to provide representation for all kinds of non-binary people! Thank you for this. Thank you for being honest and inspiring.
Stay determined!
That's amazing! Do you have a link to your comics or games? I'd love to give them a look!
10/10 video made me cry but like in a relatable I'm not alone way. Keep up the good work, now time to binge through the rest of your vids since this is the 1st one I found :P
I'm so happy I could help you feel seen! And I can't wait to hear your thoughts on my other videos! ^_^
Ngl I always forget I’m subscribed to you and then I watch your videos and I’m like “WAITTT I KNOW THEM” Object permanence at its best.
Edit. So my personal experience with gender is that I am amab, but I prefer to present feminine. Sometimes I’m actually not sure what I prefer, because sometimes I don’t feel like very feminine.
Also I remember reading that like example in the monty fic, and man there’s so many times in that fic that have had me in feels.
Another edit. They Were a Punk He Was a Croc is actually one of my favorite Monty reader fics, and I have literally read every single one with an over 100k wordcount. I’m always so excited when I see it update, though right now I’m really on the edge of my seat with the current chapter.
Object permanence is optional.
Yeah, I meant to get started on the next chapter this week but then I got completely sucked into making this video. I'll get started on it soon, I promise!
@@WritinRealSlow take all the time you need! I know writing is really difficult when you have a lot going on, I’ve barely written anything since last september lol
@@wyster14half of the writing process is not writing
@@WritinRealSlow and then you have a manic episode and write over a thousand words before dropping off the face of the earth for a week
@@wyster14you get it
undertale/deltarune has sort of the direct opposite of the “in the fandom but not actually in the media” thing because the games will show the protags’ pronouns latant as hell and tons of whiny bitches in the fandom will still make any excuse to misgender them. and there’s pretty much no way they’d do the same thing if the characters were called he or she.
also one of my fav portrayals of genderqueer characters is all the ones in the fiction podcast hello from the hallowoods i dont wanna bother to explain why but i do want to recommend that more people check it out hehe
good video :3 validated the heck out of my gender
UA-cam suggested me this video at random, and I couldn't be happier for it. Your talks about your own experiences and dysphoria hit close to home, since I to am an enby who presents masc. And I never realized that there were so many kids shows now with enby characters, and that makes me happy.
saw the bard in the thumbnail from wandersong and immediately clicked lol, my little guy! love them sm wandersong my beloved
really nice video i enjoyed it alot!! perfect to build a glass dome in minecraft to lol, really informative even as someone genderqueer myself ❤
glad I could provide!
as an enby I feel u, like I have dysphoria and I mostly tune it out to cope with my day to day life cus I’m not entirely out. it feels awful, most people see me as a girl and when I come out to them I feel like they still view me as a girl but with extra steps which frustrates me so much and it’s hard not to internalize. i was very fem most of my life (now I’d consider myself androgynous) witch made it hard for so many people in my life to understand how I am nonbinary and trans masc , I’ve tried explaining and I don’t even blame them because it hard to articulate. i finally had someone like u to say what I’ve been feeling for so long when it comes to body stuff like other than top surgery there’s nothing else i can do, sometimes i wish i was amab but then i don’t feel like it would change much cus I’d still me dysphoric nothing fully fits which makes me question sometimes if i was supposed to even exist as a human being. I’m tired tbh.
you actually inspired me to make agender masc presenting character, or rather, develope the one i'm working one, basically a weeb and nerd but badass and cool cowboy ronin who larps as one in zombie apoc, and whose nerdiness actually helped build a very strong community, not only with practical knowledge such as smithing but also by just being a cheerfull dork
I'd love to read that!
great video - diverse nb rep is SUPER important with how little recognition they get. I mean the protag of my own little indie game goes by they/them and is also bald which I haven't seen much representation for
what's your game called?
@@WritinRealSlow hi, it's called "Gerald Smith's Orggannick Adventure" - it's an rpg inspired by undertale. there is a demo on itch but it's still in early development (whole game will be free tho and has a lot of qol changes) the nb character I mentioned is the protag called Farmhat - they're a silent protagonist with little character as of the demo but I do have a lot more stuff planned with them. also it has a sentient cryptobro toilet if that helps
@@orggannickI mean, I'm currently in the middle of downloading it, so there's that
@@WritinRealSlowoh wow that's really cool!!! it only has like 30 downloads rn!! also a lot of stuff is gonna be changed (including a CERTAIN puzzle) so if anything is too confusing or tedious feel free to ask! I have the same username everywhere :)
wait they added MORE characters to Boyfriend Dungeon?!? I played it when it was still kinda new and romanced Rowan, oh dang i need to play it again!
WANDERSONG MENTIONED LETS FUCKING GO (it is one of my favorite games of all time)
also about the collector from the owl house, i'm pretty sure they use singular they at least once in the show, because i caught it and was gushing about it with my friends immediately after finishing the episode, but i forget exactly when it happens. understandable that you missed it lmao
Yeah, my adhd tends to get in the way a lot, so it's highly likely I missed it
lil gator game mentioned. subscribing immediately.
I knew my good taste would work in my favor eventually
I love these discussion type of videos, I am an AFAB Enby that I am very happily married to my Husband who is an AMAB Enby. I'm so grateful that there are others who are talking bout being Nonbinary in many different presenting ways instead of just "one way."
every enby deserves to feel valid and whole.
Also: Oh my god, these bitches they! Good for them, good for them!
So I sorta relate to having a detachment of gender. With me though, how I put it is that I’m “gender apathetic”. I’m fine being viewed as a girl but like I’ve never fully felt connected to that like others when I thought about it. People using they for me is fine too. For me gender sorta just feels like “this is a thing I guess”. Honestly, I’ve been using DnD as a way to explore my identity more, and have actually been thinking about more NB characters for me to play which is a lot of fun for me!
Also, on a different note, when it came to Masha in OH, I didn’t even notice their name plaque 😂. I just saw their nails and got really excited myself
Yeah, I missed their plaque the first time too, I even missed their nails because I was busy thinking "is that grey delisle?"
“What’s in your pants”
“P U R E P O W E R”
For the AMAB enby thing, and my thoughts went to that's why I don't think I really try. I also deal with anxiety and being on the autism, so I already don't want to stand out, and I know that I am mostly going to be seen as a man with long hair and sometimes painted nails.
There is not a whole lot I can do to distance from male, but I guess I could be okay with feminine, if not for howI know those things will be seen on me. So it is a lot of living through representation.
"whats in your pants?"
Me:"You mean my pockets? mostly moss, and pieces of scrap paper"
"what's in your pants?"
POCKETS!! ^_^
Inanimate Insanity had at least 2 whole character arcs about characters coming out as trans, and the whole rest of the object show community is very unapologetic about trans representation in what is essentially a bunch of series of animations and media about anthropomorphic objects which is pretty cool :3
Recently been watching the Object Show as per a deal with a friend and strangely one of the best Non-binary characters I’ve seen is Paintbrush from Animate Insanity. Well, not so much season 1 where the whole joke was no one knew if they were male or female, with even a cut line calling them a “gender unknown freak.”(the creator was an actual child at the time though so I’ll give slack)
But in season 2 onward it becomes good representation in my opinion. They have another moment of a character not knowing their gender, but then ending it with the character realizing Paintbrush is “C: none of the above.” Characters, even enemies of them, only use they/them pronouns and do not misgender them after the reveal. Paintbrush has a little non-binary flag by their bed in one of the scenes. They even ended up hiring a non-binary person to voice Paintbrush from I think season 3 onward. And honestly it made me feel good seeing that.
I could relate because in my own experience on my discord it was a running joke for a year no one knew what gender I was including myself because I knew I wasn’t cis but didn’t felt trans either. And going from just make it a running gag to actual representation with heart to it is so sweet to me
m.ua-cam.com/video/XEsbsOc6vZg/v-deo.html&pp=ygUocGFpbnRicnVzaCBpbmFuaW1hdGUgaW5zYW5pdHkgbm9uIGJpbmFyeQ%3D%3D moments with Paintbrush. I think the first part is especially nice to show on screen
Update: just binged all of II and yeah, Paintbrush is amazing representation. But they also have the character Bot, originally a robot based off a deceased character who goes through an arc of realizing who they are, making it clear to the others despite their body and memories that they are not that person the others thought or wanted them to be, wants people to not make a big deal of their identity and treat them like everyone else, goes by they/them afterwards, changes their name to Bot, changes their appearance to be who THEY want to be, and makes it clear that they are “Bot, the one and only!” They do go through struggles, with ep 14 having them have a panic attack at the thought of facing their mother because “she’s hasn’t seen me before I changed” and even though they know their mom won’t be mad at them, it’s the looming fear of coming out and “going back to that place” that hurts them.
In one episode they even give this speech to a friend: “you know…lately I’ve been worried…if I went by a different name or maybe even…l-looked a little different…I wouldn’t be me anymore. But you helped me realize that no matter what you put out there, you’re still you.”
I don’t think I ever cried this hard at or felt this seem by representation before. Ep 14 had me have to pause the episode five times to make sure I was okay to continue because it resonated with me that hard of someone recently coming out as non-binary. Yeah it falls under the robot category but given everyone in the show is non human and that they tear down that trope I think it works here
whys this toxtricity in my head and knows how i, nonbinary, feel-
I'm actually just a figment of your imagination, here to remind you that you are valid and loved.
qwq what a great hallucination, thank u homie @@WritinRealSlow
Bwuh...I got to the relatable part of the video, crying time💯😭
good, because I was crying too
Thank you for this video. All the power to ya as well, need more of us out here ✨💪
I'm glad I could provide ^_^
boyfriend dungeon gave me such levels of euphoria I have not experienced since, the characters do have some valid critiques but overall, best NB game of all time
Right? It's so good! I'll actually be streaming it this saturday if you want to stop by and watch for a bit
I wish so bad I could have had characters like Raine Whispers growing up.
From my end, anytime I've taken steps to transition or talk about my dysphoria and euphoria and the body and voice I am striving for, I just get "so you're trying to be a man". It's like no one ever even listens. I want top surgery, a hysterectomy, and vocal training. I've gone around and around on T because I want some effects, but not all. And I wish I could just slightly broaden my rib cage and shoulders, and I wish my face wasn't so round and soft, but there's not really a whole lot I can do about that. And I'm worried I'm just not capable of having the voice I want because I'm a first soprano.
Another thing I don't see many people talk about is that being androgynous often means being visibly trans, and that's REALLY scary. Due to bathroom laws in my state and increased violence against trans people in bathrooms, no matter which room they use, I'm honestly just too scared to use public restrooms. I am scrawny and weak and for some reason feel constantly feeble and exhausted these days, and I genuinely have no clue if I'm going to be perceived as a man or a woman on any given day by any given person. And if I want my proper pronouns to be used, I NEED to come out. There is no option to be stealth. Not if I plan to transition. And I can't stand the dysphoria. I cannot explain to you just how bad and how CONSISTENTLY bad it is. It is torturous. It is hell. And it causes me so much pain and distress to know it is IMPOSSIBLE to have a body and voice that matches me. I hate it so much.
I know how you feel, at least as far as the dysphoria goes. I'm so sorry you have to live with that much pain
@@WritinRealSlow Thanks. It's been really bad today. I don't know what time it is there, but it's just past midnight here. Happy Trans Day of Visibility (and Easter if it so applies)!
@@morningcupofcyanideit's almost midnight-thirty here. Happy trans bunny day!
I just wanted to say that I really like your voice. It is incredibly smooth and calming.
Aww, thank you! I used to be really self-conscious about it, but making video essays has really helped my confidence.
Thank you for this video it really was great to see someone share similar experiences to mine. As an amab enby myself, I really feel the struggles you mention and this inability to express yourself. I'm really lucky to have a few friends that accept me for who I am but I just didnt have the courage to really out myself in school or in my family because I know most of them just wouldnt accept it. What I'm trying to say is that you are not alone with these struggles and I feel you. Sending big hugs and thank you so much for this video again, I'll definitely be checking out more from your channel
Thank you. It means a lot to hear from other enbies, and I'm so happy you have people that accept and love you! ^_^
Profiley, winner, price tag from bfdi are all also non-binary, there’s a lot of non-binary characters in object shows recently which is good 👍
in stars and time mentioned!!! siffrin was the nonbinary representation i needed because siffrin presents exactly as i want to, and also siffrin has a very similar personality to me anyway. there's a reason in stars and time is my favorite game. also, siffrin isn't explicitly not aromantic, in the text they're only implied to be asexual, leaving the romantic attraction up for interpretation.
I really need to play the game, I just don't have the money for it right now
Thank you so much for sharing your personal experiences
Honestly, I feel this as an amab nb who doesn't mind presenting masc and uses xe/them. I have always felt like an outsider and one day I wish I could swager around, confident in my body. But being a bigger person with a slight desire to eventually to have the ability to have the body I want (which will require surgery)
Also I am surprised you didn't mention Testament from Guilty Gear. They used to be a character that constantly got stuck on the bad side of things (ie killing their adoptive father, reviving big bio weapons, etc) but after six years of having time to discover themself and what they like, they realized they were nb and have a massive list of hobbies/some very androgenous swagger
I honestly kind of forgot about testament. I'm planning a follow up video to talk about more nonbinary characters, so I'll probably mention them there
Good job, Jess! Such a powerful video, and I hope I can, and will do NB people justice in my stories =)
I know you will
This is one of my favorite videos! The first time I watched it a teared up a little, for context I don't really cry that much for some reason. It feels really good to know that their is representation for me out their. I haven't been exposed to much NB representation in media so this video makes me feel seen, just knowing that artists went through the effort to make a character that shares a part of their identity with me!
Also, your identity is so fucking valid no matter what other people say! Those people who you thought were your friends are queerphobes (Yes, queer people can be queerphobes). Im just happy this video has got so much views, you really deserve it! I subscribed to you because of this video.
I'm so very happy I was able to make you feel seen!
My Spouse (They do except wife since it is by position to them and less gendered. That and we are in an area where gender representation can be an issue) is AFAB and wants to be androgynous but sometimes they are fluid and present either. Also, despite the fact I am cisgendered through my spouse and the Community in general, if it wasn't by survival reasons and just ease for me to fall back on, I would have been Agender. I find gender as a social crutch that allows too much limitation of presentation. However, I find it easier to just be he/him and present male. I do feel slight dysphoria with She/Her but oddly enough, clothing isn't too gendered for me. Just Shaped to body types. But hey, I am quirky and in the end, I am an ally as best as I can be
😊
BARD BARD BARD BARD BARD BARD KIWI BARD THE BARD
oh my god it has wandersong ost in it
i love these video essays
deltarune theories mentioned im double subscribing
ash's theme in a nonbinary video essay is amazing design
I do think indie places tend to have better rep. Less restricted by big companies. I also really like the visual novel series "our life". In the first game you can only date Lake (he/him) but you can change your gender and pronouns at any point in the game. The second game only has the demo out right now but you can date a masc nonbinary (they/he from memory) and grow up with them. My favourite interaction in the demo was because I chose they/them as my pronouns, they asked "you can do that?!??" It's a very cute story and both games are free. The money they get is from the dlc!
Unfortunately with masc enbies is society hates feminity. It's much easier for afab people to transition to andro-masc then a amab to andro-fem. I am afab myself and use they>he so I don't know your pain. But I do unfortunately see the societal rules as why from someone who is perceived as a woman.
As a creative, I tend to draw/write self inserts in different bodies to see how it feels from a safe/detached place. It might be something beneficial to you if you are on the fence on if you want to medically transition or not.
This was a nice video to watch while working, we've come so far with representation but we still have so much further to go.
I am gender fluid and AFAB, most days my gender, and the presentation I feel comfortable in is what I describe as 'boy in a skirt' but because I am AFAB and haven't had any gender affirming healthcare (and due to medical reasons I can't really wear a binder), so I often get percieved like a 'girly girl' and that's very dysphoric, because while the clothes I wear make me extremely happy, people see me as a woman when I dress like that. So then I dress more androgyonous, which gets me gendered correctly more often or atleast makes people question my gender before they decided on 'girl' but those clothes don't make me as happy.
I basically have to pick between society induced dysphoria or clothing induced dysphoria and it's exhausting, it's discouraging and there's no way out of this place any time soon. I know my identiy is valid but not many people in my life actually see me as the gender I am.
I'm really sorry you have to deal with that every day, it's not fair.
I saw wandersong and IMMEDIATELY clicked
I'm glad to hear Summer as the end song :D
I’m from russia, and the screenshot of ruby with a mustache is actually fake - they just gave her a male va in the dub (and that’s the reason why they didn’t translate the episode with the garnet’s wedding (because she wears a dress there) and just skipped it lol)
It makes me actually pretty angry hearing about how poorly people are treated just because they don’t fit a certain type of trans. It makes me upset that I have to deal with the thought that the greater world is quite literally not made with me in mind. My place has to be carved out and sometimes I feel too tired to do it. Like it’s not just that I’m queer but I also have the case of Triple A which is like anxiety, autism, and adhd which sure is a fun cocktail of stuff that makes shit harder to do.
A long while back I actually had a thought that changed how I interpreted people I didn’t even know. The thought that someone would look at me and assume that I am not nonbinary makes me deeply uncomfortable. I was uncomfortable enough to realize that just because someone dresses a certain way doesn’t mean they can’t be genderqueer. So most of the time by default I use they/them for everyone until I know exactly what their pronouns are.
Most of the time I don’t have problems with descriptive words until it gets gendered in a feminine way in which I will feel wildly uncomfortable.
Funny enough I’ve met a handful of nonbinary people and at least two of them use at least he/they pronouns and have semi-frizzy/fluffy half dyed purple hair.
If I had a nickel for every enby I met that had frizzy half dyed purple hair I’d have two nickels which isn’t a lot but it’s cool that it’s happened twice.
Also I was scrolling through tumblr once which is something that only happened because there was a gender queer person there and there was something like “it’s always enby pussy this, enby pussy that, what about enby dick?”
And ngl it was in fact a moment and I thought about just how fucked it was that so much content was focused on fem enbies. It was sad and it made me sad and that creator I mentioned is no longer there and that makes me sad and I wish that they were because my god did they make such banger genderless content.
Anyways nonbinary people are cool and masc enbies should have support. It’s not an option it’s a threat. I will be violently upset and I will in fact cry about it.
21:32 ARE THEY VOICED BY MY GOAT DEKU!?
I am a masc non-binary person too. I have felt the same way about our rep too. Also, one more nb character is Hermes from the video game Stray Gods: The Roleplaying Musical. Hermes is more masc presenting (at least that's my read of them) and everyone refers to them with they/them pronouns. Also, the game has a lot of lgbt+ rep in general.
I'll give the game a look, thanks for the recommendation! ^_^
Im sure this has been said a lot in this comment section , but as someone who’s only semi recently figured out their an enby, goodness this was so just, amazing to watch, feeling seen and not alone. This video made me smile and tear up more then any others have in a long while. I think i speak for all of us when i say thank you, truly thank you ^^
I'm so happy to hear that! My biggest goal when making my representation videos is to help people feel seen, and knowing I could make you smile makes it worth every second of work!
oh my god you are the first person I've ever heard of to be agender and actively get uncomfortable at being gendered
I just thought it didn't happen at this point in other people because I've only heard of just not caring at all, I'm agender and get really uncomfortable at people gendering me, although in really specific ways, like if I've been seen as and had pronouns used for one specific gender too much, I'll get more uncomfortable with those pronouns used and actively happy that someone sees me as the other, but if I feel generally pretty equally seen as either gender those will start to make me uncomfortable. like I have to keep the gender perception scale equal
-
I am so sorry that your friends decided you weren't non binary enough. I am shook. not good with words right now if you can't tell but I am so sorry that happened. its difficult to put into words the desire to give someone a hug should they want it but the sentiment is there so
Thank you for this wonderful video! As an agender person, everything you said during your personal experience section heavily resonated with me. I truly hope we can all work towards a community that is more accepting of masc presenting non binary people and amab non binary people.
I got really curious about the poem you wrote about the experience of being gender queer, is it something you'd like to share? It's totally okay if it's not!
I'd rather not, it wasn't a great poem. The spandex suit metaphor was the only part I felt really worked
I loved wandersong, its so great. I miss it i wanna play it again but i cant
aw, why not?
@WritinRealSlow I live off grid now so I have no stable electricity/internet connection to play the game on steam
@@Eddisdeddah
Oh!
Not sure if anyone has mentioned this game yet but there is a lovely dating sim out there called dialtown which at the beginning of a route allows you to pick she/her, he/him, they/them or your adding your own custom pronouns, which I think is really neat (obviously which pronouns you choose don’t affect who you can or cannot date) it’s on steam if you have the time and money
nope, this is the first I've heard of it. I'll add it to my wishlist for later!
GOOD KID!!! thank you for this, I sort of feel seen and heard
Of course! Happy Pride!
@@WritinRealSlow I relate to alot of what you said abt the experience of being nonbinary agender, although I feel a weird connection to femininity and masculinity, happy pride!!!
23:02 (ish) I have to say I love the stunned reaction of the audience. 😂
I came in here expecting something more video essay-ish, and I was really positively surprised by the genuineness and vulnerability you showed through your writing. I’m an amab agender person, built tall and wide and with a full beard that I actually really love, though I hate its gender. Your description of the experience of being non-binary had me just sit there for a minute, feeling incredibly not alone for the first time in a while. Most everyone just thinks of me as “a man who uses strange pronouns,” and time and time again I have to come up with a way to come out to new people, sometimes even the same people who didn’t get it the first time. My assigned gender feels exactly like that suit, like it’s all people see when they look at me. It’s hard reconciling that with who I really am, and coming to terms with people who don’t bother to look any deeper.
I just wanted to say thank you for being so honest. It’s not easy, especially when you’re in front of a microphone, but it really made my night to know for sure that I’m not the only one like me. Even down to the aspiring writer thing! It’s clear you care a lot about stories and how they speak to us, and I’m thankful we can have so many people like that going into the creative industries. Thank you for all you do my friend 🥹
I'm so glad I was able to make you feel this way! My biggest goal with my representation videos is to make people feel seen and worthy, and knowing I was able to help even one person honestly makes every second of work worth it!
i love this video and as someone who is amab nonbinary i gotta say the ending really hit home like sometimes i feel like ill only be seen as a man and like there is nothing i can do about it even medical transition doesnt help because then ill just be a woman and thats not what i want either being nonbinary has been hard for me and ive even tried taking my own life before because of how hard it is and this video honestly makes me feel very seen thank you for the great content
you're not alone, and I'm glad you're still here
Nightshade from Transformers Earthspark is nonbinary they/them who explicitly says it in their introduction episode, stating that he or she just doesn't fit who they are. all of their family members (because they have 6 siblings and an adopted human family) respect this, as well as Optimus Prime asking for their pronouns. it's really cool to see, because while there are other trans characters in other media from the franchise, this is the first time we've gotten a character who doesn't use binary gendered terms.
amab enby here and OHHHH MY FUCKING GOD I FEEL SO SEEN RJRGSHEHGE /VPOS
I JUST GOT HERE AND I LOVE YOUR AVATAR!!! TOXTRICITY BEST POKÉMON!!!!
Thank you, they're one of my absolute favorites!
I really liked the dnd section I tried to express who I am through my own dnd character Gweneal Ainsley a changeling bard that goes by any pronouns. I also follow a dnd liveplay group called the dndorks and they had a lot of trans and nonbinary characters in the few campaigns they have had, here is all of them: Glib (trans man, Symmetry Saga, cursed unlucky frog man, he came out as trans before he got cursed into a frog, "not again"), Emmy/Emerald (he/they, Symmetry Saga, gets refered to as child by Glib who named and adopted them), Some Guy I Guess/SG (they/them, Symmetry Saga, "I am not a woman, I am a motherfucking nightmare", afterwards they get refered to as little nightmare which has become the name for fans), Bello (he/they, Symmetry Saga, little chaos butterfly that turned to be way more important than people first thought), Arliss Blackstone (they/them, Bussiness Venture, evil evil person but so is the rest of the cast), Valentine (they/them, Miner Infractions, also a more minor character and a villain, cast still respects their pronouns.) Yes I still find it funny that so many canon trans characters come from one campaign and most that I mentioned are player characters. Most of them are nonhuman except technically Glib who was born as a human.
I was lucky enough to find a dnd group that wholeheartedly supports me and my identity. They made the game a safe and special place for me and I love them all so much!
I play a nonbinary tiefling cleric and everyone really likes them!
I've played lil gator game quite a bit, 100%ing the steam achievements, and I never even noticed the gender neutral pronouns and now I'm just like "Oh. :)"
I'm a feminine non-binary/offgirl and personally, I mainly think of non-binary on the more masc side, kinda androgynous. Of course, I see everyone as what they are though this is usually think of right off the bat, so I kinda had no idea about the fact that fem presenting non-binary people was the main. Pretty sure the first non-binary person I saw was Raine, at least the first masc presenting non-binary person
they're the first I remember seeing in any show too
Great video. This really resonated with me as an fellow masculine enbie ( who's also gay ). I'll be honest, I never heard much about masc enbies ( specifically amab masc enbies ) getting the short end of the stick. But I guess it doesn't surprised me since androgynous enbies ( especially femme leaning ones ) get the bigger push by those who only accept a certain type of enbie ( which completely defeats the point of being non binary ). I have felt like people would treat me less favorably just because I'm an masc leaning enbie, because it their eyes, especially if I'm in a relationship with another guy, I'm cisgendered. I haven't come out to anyone yet irl, so it's still just a fear of mine, and not an experience I've gone through. I never had a lot of enbie representation that I liked, tbh ( especially compared to gay rep ). There's Raine, sure. And I especially love the enbie rep in Xenoblade 3 ( especially since Xeno is one of my biggest special interests ). But at least with the media I've consumed/have an interest in consuming ( including Wandersong, which I've wanted to play for years ), I haven't seen any good rep. I love my gender identity and expression though, and still have my own self validation. But it still would be great to have more positive rep in media, and to have people in my life who'll accept and support me
What an agreeable video indeed! I've also had it with dysphoria and especially feeling foreign and unwanted.
I live in Germany and gender is a heavy (most often political) topic here. It's really not that easy to not describe someone without a gender in German but it is definitely possible:)
Sometimes some stuff might come out extra-long or a bit funky but it has it's charm. It's just not the norm.
Typically this would mean using adjectives instead of nouns, because our adjectives typically won't explicitly state gender.
Sadly my mom is of the opinion that really, enbies aren't real and she won't respect my pronouns:/ A real pain for sure.
Anyways, I really enjoyed this video and I'm definitely gonna steal that gorgeous nail design!
I also thought that bit of you almost crying was brilliant! I've also struggled with the slogan "boys don't cry" and it means the world to me when someone doesn't just cut away and excuses themselves for their sobbing. Very humanizing! Also it should be normal to cry for any person, regardless. I wish people would be able to see that3>
Another video game that's good with representation is Apex Legends. Bloodhound is one of their first characters and is nonbinary. A lot of their lgbt rep is confirmed in game too which is refreshing.
Oh, goodness, Little Gator Game and Kaiju Noir look delightful. .w.
As an aside, I should probably note that there's a fair bit of reasonably explicit non-binary rep in Japanese media which was obscured in translation due to the fact that the way Japanese uses pronouns is fundamentally different from how English does and a lot of English translators just weren't as good on queer issues as they are now. I alluded to this in another comment, but a classic example of this is Kino from Kino's Journey, who while assigned female at birth began not only dressing androgynously as a teenager but using the softly masculine personal pronoun "boku," musing in an OVA episode of the series where they are shown making this choice on feeling neither male nor female, and throughout the series states when incorrectly gendered by strangers, "I'm not a [man/woman], I'm Kino." While "Word of God" here is obviously not text, the light novel author has been fairly emphatic that he intended to present Kino as agender in the text, although such a term wasn't necessarily in his vocabulary when he began writing the series nor do the characters necessarily have those words, but regardless, context within the text honestly makes it pretty obvious if you're paying attention. But again, not a lot of people seem to have been aware of this in the early '00s, so you still have Wikipedia referring to Kino as female because that's how the text was framed for a long time. That said, people will also do this with non-binary characters when the translation *does* frame them correctly, sooooooo… :\
P.S. As a kind of soft-butch AMAB enby-not masc but, y'know, I wear a lot of flannel in a gay way-I've definitely noticed that there is a tendency to frame non-binary-ness as either Woman Lite or, conversely for some AFAB folks, Butch Lesbian But More So, and it can certainly be more than a little condescending, although I see it less in media (in part because of the rarity of representation) than I do from certain cis or binary trans queer people on the Internet, and not just weird transmeds. I think part of it is that legibility is essential to the kinds of acceptability politics certain folks engage in around queerness and really operating outside the binary is fundamentally illegible in those terms, but a lot of it is just basic ignorance, I think.
P.P.S. The spandex suit metaphor is a good way of putting it. For me, it's more, I guess… this overlaps with my neurodivergence, but I'd describe it as being a creature which is fundamentally not human, although worthy of the same respect and care as a human, wearing the shape of a human being like ill-fitting, stifling yet baggy clothes which I've been coaxed into wearing against my will and which sometimes slip and reveal strange details regardless. In any case, hearing about what happened with your former friends was horrifying, and I genuinely hope that you have better people around you now who actually treat you with the respect that you deserve.
sweet from deltarune is also non binary if i remember correctly
I realy just want to hug you
I would absolutely hug you if I could
Mentally hugging you right now (if you are comfortable with that)
Aaahhh! Brain hugs!!
Nah, I appreciate it
4:11 well I personally think I don't feel uncomfortable when people gender me. I don't really know which pronouns I should use and I mostly don't care what pronouns you call me (unless you call me "it", I don't like it pronouns for me) which is why I use any pronouns.
idk if you read manga, but theres this one manga that helped me understand my gender identity. its called "the gender of mona lisa". its a good manga. although, there are some... not good representation, and also the conclusion might not be the best. but i still think its worth the read if youre interested.
also, i enjoyed the video. will be sharing it🧡
Hello, this got recommended to me and I'm honestly sorry about your friends...
But I've been on my own journey myself because I like the idea of being every gender. I wish real life had a video game character customizer in which you can change your appearance depending on how you feel.
But as much as I like to say "I'm every gender!", I'm not 100% sure if I'm fluid. Heck I'm not sure if I want a label for my own gender identity because I still like going by she/her. But I don't feel cis either. So it's been a roller coaster. And coming out even to my own parents who are very accepting is tricky. Mainly because I don't know my own label!! And I like the idea of saying "Angel is me. I'm King, Queen, and Monarch of my own body!!"
Also as a Steven Universe fan who didn't engage with the fandom a lot because of both toxic fans and haters alike, I agree with everything you said. Heck when I did an exercise one time of "what if the Infinity Stones were crystal gems", I ended up making Reality exclusively he/him, Time a he/they, Mind a They/them exclusively, and Soul (or Jazz as she calls herself since she wants to distance herself from being the Soul Stone) she/they.
I liked the idea of there being gems who identified in different ways. And I too wish we had that in the show.
Also as a person who is wearing a TVA shirt currently, Loki is honestly my favorite fluid! I want to be a chaos entity!
undertale/deltarune
Shameless promo of my favourite game, but in Reverse:1999 there’s two canonically nonbinary characters (or under the trans umbrella), Medicine Pocket and The Fool (yes those are their names). They both have voice lines in game specifying they don’t care about pronouns & don’t align with any gender. Although they don’t appear in the main story
MedPoc is also implied to be intersex
I hadn't even heard of that game, I'll have to check it out!
@@WritinRealSlowI hope you like it! Medicine Pocket is a fan favourite, they will appear in the main story briefly and have been mentioned. The Fool was featured in another character’s “side story” (called anecdotes). Both are playable. The game is still pretty new, but it has a really relaxed relationship with gender imo. There’s female characters that have no problem being perceived as men in their fields (Onion, Bette) and the word “transgender” is even said out loud at one point
I like Alex Fierro in Magnus Chase because although she is a shapeshifter and genderfluid,she complains to Magnus that she can only change her species,not her sex.His gender fluidity is not a result of his Shapeshifting or vice versa.
Also this is unrelated but you have a lovely voice.
Huh, I didn't know about her. That's really cool, thanks for telling me about him!
Also, aww, thanks! ^_^
19:26 Im gonna start introducing myself this way
in the case of steven universe, i'm pretty sure the gems being a "gender-less race" was a necessary cover up that could allow the studio execs to approve of the gay relationships to air in America in the first place.
edit: not intended as an angry comment lol, but i will watch the rest and make another edit later
edit2:i wouldn't be surprised if what i heard was rumor stemming from the tweet. Even so yeah it does suck that being nonbinary was used as an excuse to have gay relationships in kids television. Personally i am overall glad that it did happen since it helped pioneer lgbt+ representation in kids media, even though it's a little upsetting.
For rule 6: just to nitpick, It’s more than just masc presenting though.Even if you present as feminine if you read too masc because you’re on or were on a testosterone system you can get excluded. It’s not always about presentation.
Also non-white nonbinary rep. As hard as it is to find human nonbinary representation, it’s even harder to find non-white NB reps. The only example that comes to mind at the moment is sex education, but there may be more. Feel free to let me know :)