What was one of your biggest takeaways from this talk on Judgement? And in case you didn't see it in the description, here's the link to the COMMITTED SELF-JOURNAL: tt.juliakristina.com/committed-self-journal/
Good points, interesting logical video. I watched as a life long loner. My curiosity lies within the judgement of others, specifically in regards to wanting to be alone. I realized long ago that their projection of only their crosses to bare, should have no bearing on mine. Being a loner maybe harmful to some, but saves others from suicide. Judgement used to bother me, but I'm much older now. Hypocrisy plays too large of a role in the grand scheme of things. The sad thing might be is that I actually hold no value in anyone's opinion. I only try to read them to my own benefit.
When you’re 20 you worry about what people think about you, when you’re 40 you don’t care, when you’re 60 you realise they haven’t been thinking about you at tall.
I think the internet has made things worse though. Now everyone's life is available for everyone to judge, whereas that wasn't the case before the internet existed.
I heard my mom judge everyone, so I grew up with that in my head. The ton of things I never did because I was afraid of being judge is crazy. I'm 41 and still trying to change that. 😔
This is exactly it! My mother is like this; she STILL does this daily, and I'm trying my best to convince myself that others aren't like this but then I just remember that my mom exists and it just turns into this vicious circle.
Alexander Lowen's book The Fear of Death is a must read. Narcissism the denial of the true Self helped my son see the suffering and why. The Fear of Death I think is the most life promoting .
I needed this lol. I walk around school feeling like everyone is judging my outfit,hair,face anything really. And every time I hear a laugh I think it’s abt me 😳. But I want to get better so I can be myself at school and not worry abt others approval
Hi Ashland I’m probably more than 50yrs older than you and I had this at school too and all through my working life, and it continues in my old age. It’s debilitating. I suggest you get an answer whilst you are young otherwise you will suffer it right through life. It looks like you may have found the right place here. There is so much more help these days, I sincerely wish you a very happy life.
Truth is, people reflect their insecurities through their actions, if someone is hateful towards a lot of people, it’s likely they aren’t happy within so don’t take peoples attitudes and opinions too personally. Love this vid 👏🏻
Never worry about being disliked.....being judged by others. We often feel like this...but the reality is that we need to be strong in our own skin and power. Be yourself, be authentic in one way every day.... people will always talk and make judgements about us.
When you know how deeply loved you are by your Father and BELIEVE and KNOW this you wont care anymore. That is what helped me initially and then it's just the constant flesh issues and I pray and remind myself that I am special
Yes! The only opinion that truly matters is our own. We need to stop judging ourselves, and letting the opinions of others affect our lives. Everyone has preferences and views life through the filters of their own emotions and life experiences. If we alter how we think or act because of someone else's judgment, we will never lead an authentic life that is in alignment with who we really are. This was such a beautiful video that really addresses this fear perfectly. For anyone that needs to hear it today...YOU ARE ENOUGH! So so so enough. Do what makes YOU happy.
This is the most perfectly timed video. I'm going to speak up in a meeting today about people judging me and projecting their insecurities on to me. I'm doing it in 45 minutes. Please pray for me!
@@solelyy I didn't get the chance in the end because the meeting didn't happen, and then I went off on long-term sickness. I may be returning soon and have no qualms about doing it upon my return. I shall let you know how it goes if I do go back. Thank you for asking. 😊
I would advise against that. Not everyone in the meeting judges you so you’re bringing personal issues into a public space. That doesn’t help you. Nobody cares about your personal issues. Why do you worry about what others think or say?
Judgement is the fear of someone else’s judgements of themselves because of what we are going to make it mean about the judgements we have of ourselves. Wow
I completely agree! I find myself thinking about judgment a lot. I am someone who used to judge people a lot (I still do a little bit, but I’m working on it) and I realized that every time I judged someone I did that only to make myself feel a little bit better, but at the end of the day my judgment was just an expression of my struggles. The more I work on myself and the more I heal, the less I judge. Now, most of the times I find myself not even caring about what people “might think” because I know that if someone judges me, it’s on them. It’s an expression of their own struggle. And I’m ok with that because I’m secure with myself.
I'm crying so hard right now. Thank you for this. I've been holding myself back so much because of this major insecurity that i have since childhood. This video cleared things up. I do rlly need to make peace woth this insecurity as well as strengthen my relationship with myself.
@@juliakristinamah I'll say the most important relationship we can have is with the Lord. But on an worldly level, it is with ourselves. Back to spiritual level though, one who has Christ has life, one who doesn't, has not life ( eternally speaking). Furthermore, If God is for us, who can be against us!. That verse alone helps those who believe with not worrying about what others think or how they might judge. See the difference and clarity and frankly an advantage for one who has a relationship with the Savior compared to one that doesn't?
@@susansherlock7474 Religion? That's the point! It's not about a religion. It's literally a personal relationship with the Risen Savior! Watching TV can be a religion! Going to the gym can be a religion! Religion is just a made up term by man! Having a personal relationship with the Lord is true freedom and no one can get to Heaven without Him. But it's not a form of bondage. It's freedom in Christ by His blood and Grace! Out of Love!!! How can you reject that? Your very soul depends on it. Now you know the truth, now it's on you. You can't straddle the fence and make it to the Kingdom. You are either for Him or against Him.
I'm not sure who said it first, but the quote is "We despise in others what we hate about ourselves." It has always resonated with me and when I find myself being judgemental of someone else I choose to self-reflect and ask myself what it is about myself I'm struggling with that I am projecting onto that other person. When we are kinder to ourselves, we judge others less and ultimately ourselves less, too. Great video! Thank you for sharing!!
Am I the only one who feels that my overthinking and my thoughts no one will get them if I explain or they might think they're stupid thoughts that they give me more anxiety.
It's about them their perception and their personality. Thats just who they are that's why they act out in Judgement and share their opinion about others.
Yup, it's what they have going on in the moment that they're offsetting on to us. It's the same thing that happens when we judge others - it's not about them, it's about us.
When you explained “what you fear” , I heard it, processed it, dropped my mouth, and started crying as a grown black man at work. It’s so crazy how such a simple thought can remain hidden. How my life would have continued if I’d not watched this, not knowing something so… important. 😢 thank you, Doctor. You’ve gained a follower and a friend. First video. Subscribed. Never seen a person be so passionate about what they are passionate and back it up. Flawless into, flawless explanation. Now I’m going to finish the video, but I just a to pause, reflect, and comment before I continued. Paused at 4:53.
Finished the video, got the info, got the resources, and am just so shocked to see an actual, genuine person who is in it genuinely to help. Me saying I can’t express all of what I want to say even feels like an understatement. I’m looking to get big into politics. When I make it, and along the road, You will be a reference Julia Kristina.
Judgement from others has affected me as a child to a young adult. I used to take it personally because I wanted to feel part of a group or I want to feel appreciated. I had to find my personal happiness instead of searching for satisfaction with others.
This is groundbreaking for me! Wow! A total BREAKTHROUGH in my thinking! THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!*** The potential this has in changing my life is enormous!!! This immediately empowered me; the shift in my thinking was like moving a mountain. It reminds me of the verse in the bible: " Let there be Light!" Thank you for shinning light in my dark thinking! God Bless You!!!!
"We fear what we will make those judgements mean about ourselves". Woah. This part in particular really hit home for me. I feel like I'm giving people so much power over me when I'm being like this.
When i feel this that they "slightly" i gave them the power, i twist my thoughts into..." yeah,yeah they have time for having conversation about me, am I too bright actress😅 so they see me even though they have so many struggles on their own life?
Thanks, this has helped me realize that it's about them and not about me. I get criticized and judged often by others and it doesn't faze me anymore. I realize they're ego driven or have a small mind.
Thank you, I will remember to watch this again. My fear of judgement is not really about what others are going to say about me or think about me, but those are the things that I judge myself for and can't accept!
So very true if someone’s” judgment” of you is causing you distress it’s because you’re feeling some kind of inadequacy or struggle with that thing. So you really have two healthy choices either learn to embrace whatever you’re feeling” judged” about or change it!
Hi, I'm Anita, 27 years old, listening and watching from Belgium. Your teachings are really helping me, and on this moment I really could use the support I can get, because I wanne go my own way, even when other people are discouraging me to do with everything that is going on in the world now a days. Thank you so much, for giving me hope and tools to feel my self stronger then ever.
A bad incident happened at my school, and not only did I stay home for two weeks but when I came back I was so anxious about what people think and it held me back a lot, I really want to work on just focusing on myself
@@joycegreer9391 Until they realise they are doing it and then they have a choice to work on it and be more mindful about their thoughts or to continue through life judging and being judged. We always have a choice in how our minds work. Most folk do not understand this. Acceptance of what we have no control over is the way to be peaceful,
@@kobalt77 Making judgments is not a bad thing. Perhaps you are just thinking in terms of making likely negative judgments about other people based on appearance, etc. There is much more to judgments. We make them everyday about everything; like what to wear, what to eat, whether or not to exercise and what, etc etc. It is an important part of life. Otherwise we would be just willy-nilly whatever with no standards or decisions. I guess you could call it by another word if judging sounds bad to you; like selecting, discriminating, discerning, etc. We had better be judging about who we have as friends and who we trust. Yes, it is important to just accept what we cannot control; and what we cannot control is whatever other people may be judging about us, good or bad.
Wow. Hearing that judgement from others is about what's going on inside of them was Powerful! 🙏🏾 I'm not blessed with looks so have always walked around thinking ppl are judging me. I've wasted so much time caring about something thats not even my business.
I have realized that I have not seen much on the subject of judgment around those who feel like they have transformed themselves through therapy to just turn around and harshly judge others who mirror their former selves.
10 years of self help information and this is the most impactful one I have watched. Hello Everyone my name is Nick Stiles. I recently left a 6 year long narcissistic domestic abuse situation. I have always had issues with myself since I was sexually abused as a child by the middle school kids in my neighborhood. Had a bad romantic relationship where drugs were heavily used. This last month since I went no contact after discovering I was being abused, my mind has grown so much. I know I have a lot to do still, but I feel so much better, and this video helped me with my main struggle. I always fear being judged, and now I understand that those judgements are just things i can learn to love and accept about myself.
Hello Nick. I was molested for years as a child and the shame destroyed my self esteem. I just wanted to inpire you and tell you to never give up! Things do get better if you keep pressing forward no matter what it looks like or feels like. Good luck to you 👍
My 2 cents on judgement: There is only one you and that is the real you. The you that you KNOW you are. The you that you understand you know you are. Then there is the not you. The you that you THINK you are. The you that you imagine you think you are. Be aware that you are NOT your thoughts, for your thoughts are NOT your own. Take ALL thought captive. By simply doubting ALL thought. The understanding of who you truly are causes you to be set free from judgement. When you are free you will not be able to judge yourself or others. And it wont matter to you that others still judge you. So, question is do you know who you are?
Judgement has to do with putting others down because of their frame of reference. Those who grew up in families constantly judging others because of their own inadequacies have to learn that the people they judged were not the things their parents labelled them, but the judgement came from their parents fear of not being good enough.
I understand exactly what you are saying-completely, but some times it's very difficult because the criticisms that I face are not just "imagined" or "exaggerated", but my family scapegoated me so much and overtly blamed me for everything. I had a cousin tell my Mother to disinherit me because I didn't come home very much and stuff like that. It's difficult when the criticism is very real, overt, mean and aggressive so it's really not so easy to perhaps think their criticisms are not nearly as bad as I imagine. But yes, the point I think you are making is that if your sense of self is strong enough, you can deal with it. I do also believe that insecure people try to feel better about themselves by viciously even attacking others.
I like that, " it's not about being a better person...... it's about growing"! This video rings true to me and my self judgement. I worked through a lot of insecurities over the years but know I have more work to do. Thank you Julia for your impactful videos. I am truly blessed to have found you!
Every Wednesday, your video is the absolute best part of my day! I’m incredibly self-conscious sometimes, and hate the feeling that I’m constantly being judged. I hope you have a wonderful rest of your week, thank you so much for uploading this!! 💜
Julia Kristina Counselling Thank you so much for the advice, I’ll certainly keep that in mind and reframe how I process my interactions with people moving forward! It’s no use being constantly paranoid that people are picking apart my every move. It doesn’t happen overnight, but I’ll get there.
Another great lesson Julia! I've had this explained to me in the past and couldn't wrap my around it but, now I can! This will help me in so many aspects of my life moving forward. My biggest takeaway is that judgment is about healing myself or, taking responsibility for myself rather than, worrying about what other people are thinking about me. How freeing is that?! Gives me the power to work through my 'stuff' and not get 'stuck' in worrying about what others are judging me on! So powerful, Thank you! 👍
Hi Julia Kristina! Just wanted to quickly introduce myself. My name is Pao, and as someone who has gone through my share of trials and tribulations, I truly appreciate being able to pick up practical pieces of advice that I believe are strong building blocks of what we face on a day-to-day basis. Your messages, lessons and tips are immensely helpful. I look forward to your content every morning. God bless and more power to you!
Thank you Julia Kristina, for your welcome to this “amazing” corner of the internet. For me this is another very supportive piece delivered in your usual, very comprehensive manner, although this time, judging,and /or feeling judged by others, is not something that I struggle with particularly. For me it’s a reassuring piece at a time when I’ve being going through some intense self scrutiny, rebuilding my self and my sense of self. It’s helpful to me because I find it grounding. Sort of, yep, that’s a piece of me that I recognise, I tend to not judge. I am 61 and I am on the right side now of removing myself from what has been perhaps more than 2 decades of gaslighting, a word that I’d not even heard of until about 6 months ago, so up until then impossible to come to terms with. You’re short videos have been extremely helpful to me, and I’m very grateful, so thank you. I am now looking at who I grew up as before my sisters, and those who support them, had scapegoated me and in doing so destroyed my existence and sense of self and reality, and looking so in order to remind myself of who I am. All such reminders are very helpful.
I appreciate this video. My whole life I’ve always tried to shape myself to be good enough for others but no matter what I do it’s never enough, and then eventually I get so frustrated I feel there’s no solution. Julia is right, we got to work on the relationship with ourself, if we can love ourself then no one else can bother me, we’re all human end of the day, none of us are perfect so there’s no obligation to be perfect.
Wow this video makes absolutely sense for me. My parents make me feel like this and they are 85. It's my life and I fear no more what they think of me. I'm a good,kind compassionate woman who always puts myself second.. I will now nurture and love myself and fut my own oxygen mask first. Thankyou soo much .Julia. love and peace from Hampshire UK
Hello Julia Kristina! This is Itika from India. I graduated in B.A English(honours) and have always not just loved but also grew surrounded by philosophy, psychology and literature during my three years of bachelors. I am back at your channel now after I guess a year and half, and I am so-so-truly-truly glad that I am back here irrespective of the fact I am not dealing with any wellbeing issues right now. I love watching your videos irrespective of being mentally really well and having a self regulating life after these 1.5 years. I believe that I learn from your videos not just for my own well being, but also for the people I love. I am so glad I came back to your channel
Holy smokes! I get it. It clicked immediately! Change your self concept and your perception of others’ thoughts will reflect that change, eliminating judgment. You are my new superhero! Thank you!
I use to be afraid that people would see my comments because I plan on b coming super famous. I am bisexual and I judge people because I was taught it was wrong. What’s sad is I don’t feel like it’s wrk g I just been finding it because I feared myself. Thank you because you’re right. Thank you. love you.
Both parts couldn't be more true! I can see why I never thought I was good enough. Which is why we oftentimes don't present our authenticity. I just discovered this as I began a new treatment last week!!
Julia your video is amazing!!! I am 21 and i have too low self esteem. Sometimes it is difficult not to care what others think about us because i may not feel enough. I want people to consider me reliable and a good person. Sometimes people don't value me as much as i should. I don't know why
My biggest takeaway of judgments are it's about the other person, but also about me and things I need to work on that I still struggle with are what keep me from not worrying about what other people think of me.
I love the insight into judgment. As a nurse I tell people that also but Julia helped me understand what my intuition knew. Judging others is similar to sliming another with wounds we've slimed ourselves with. It's Misery craving company. Once we build up our bodies, minds & spirits is when we can encourage others to be more mindful and attract to those who do not judge & slime.
Oh my god. This video has literally just saved me from many more years of feeling like I can never, ever make real connections with anyone and hide forever when the fear of being judged comes from what I struggle with. That point was spot on for me.
I feel that people around me are judging me for the way I look , the way I speak aur the way I walk. Even with my family members. I cry while explaining my point every time. All this had made me so low confident. That i can't feeel myself anymore. I know I will be more confident When i will stop thinking what other's are thinking. But i try everyday and i fail.!!
Thanks for making my day. I hate the feeling of feeling judged by my peers or my family it hurts when you feel like you cant speak up for fear yourr going to offend
Im always worried ive said something. Basically im c ok nstantly what others think. Im so worried about how others feel in regards to my choices that i feel im failing them.
Hello to the people who also want to make themselves even better! You're doing a good job, keep it up until you reach your goal! keep learning! We can do this!
Thank you, this helped my 11 year old myself, i always feared beign judged, and i thought that if i were someone like "her" i Won't get judged , now i will be myself, dress like myself, write like myself, do things like myself ❤
Thank you, Julie. This one connected. Some of it I already know. Some of it I don't. At the end of the day, be true to yourself. Don't change for other people. People who are constantly judging others are not secure whole people. The harsher people judge themselves, the harsher they will judge others. Some people have difficulty having awareness or acknowledgement of their own flaws and darkness. While they are busy judging you, they avoid looking at their own shadows. Instead of honestly looking at one's own flaws with acceptance, compassion and understanding, some people are too obsessed with the shame, guilt and sin associated with them, ingrained in us by social norms and rigid religious dogmas and, hence, having severe intolerance and hatred of themselves. Two things which I think are very important to note, I.e., Acceptance and understanding of one's darkness and flaws is not the same as condoning them or giving oneself license to act out on them. Only with self-awareness and acknowledgement can keep the demons in check. And the realization that we are all having this constant battle of good and evil, darkness and light inside us, are what truly connected us with one another as human beings. To be human is to be flawed. When we are aware of the pain and struggle of each of us going through to try to make the right decision and to do good and make the best of what we can in this life, we will no longer so easily judge one another Instead, treat each other with compassion and empathy. There is hope for humanity. We can create a better world.
Fantastic video, when we are human we make mistakes only God is perfect, so we are not to be perfect but childlikely accepting our flaws and limitations as part of our path of growing towards the highest possible goal we can aim at in our lives. Thank you so much Julia Christina!
I like this! I believe whatever is in another person's mind is none of my business. But, you’re right it’s the self-judgment that can be the undoing. Love and accepting self exactly as-is - is tricky, but worth working on. Thank you
# Their judgement is not for u but it is for themselves. # work on relationship with yourself, healing, your own insecurities dealing with it, cleaning up the inside, cleaning up our thoughts. Lastly ""don't let others judgement hold u back from the things you always love and wanted to do""❤.
This is one of the most important videos I’ve ever watched. I’m feeling this insecurity right now after writing an email to someone. I’m debating and working on the reasons why I’m feeling so insecure... and trying to not feel I have to be perfect. All you said is so true. Thank you so much! I love your work!
I so needed to hear this KJulia, I'm recovering from a TBI as a direct result of my addictions. This injury Definitely brought me to a new bottom, but ironically, what people would call a "setback" was in reality, a springboard into new growth, and I still got a long way to go. Im on your waitlist :]
Realize I'm a little late to this video thread, just came across it, but OMG you are spot on with your definition about judgement! Thank you for the clarity!
The Shadow Self is something I will look to read more about. I have found that the times when I have been able to know that someone else's judgement is based on themselves and not me and not fact (and understanding this during the conversation) it has gone a long way to helping me be more compassionate during the conversation rather than defensive and/or irritated.
Courage, confidence and value within will definitely help one to care less about other people's opinions. I listen effectively but in the end, i decide if it's beneficial or if i can learn from it
Thank you so much Julia Kristina I didn't have real access to a good therapist and even prayed to the Lord and badda bing I run into your videos . I even told my daughter about you, I hope she learns good things from you also. I am watching this video again.
We are judged mostly by our own thinking than other people. I was struggling a lot since my childhood but now everything has changed. Thanks by your amazing video and great information. Regards from afghanistan❤
One of THE best videos ive seen about judgement. OMG this just made my.mind explode..that im immediately watching it again😊 I think this is about changing your overall thought process..and not being a victim to others opinions of you. In the end..its, who cares what they think about you. And i love IT!!!❤❤
What was one of your biggest takeaways from this talk on Judgement?
And in case you didn't see it in the description, here's the link to the COMMITTED SELF-JOURNAL: tt.juliakristina.com/committed-self-journal/
thank you so much Julia for empowering us with what you've learned and your experiences. its helped me navigate through some rough times this season.
@@Clemsterful good for you for doing the work, friend.
Thank you 🙏
Powerful. Thank you 🙏
Good points, interesting logical video.
I watched as a life long loner.
My curiosity lies within the judgement of others, specifically in regards to wanting to be alone.
I realized long ago that their projection of only their crosses to bare, should have no bearing on mine.
Being a loner maybe harmful to some, but saves others from suicide.
Judgement used to bother me, but I'm much older now. Hypocrisy plays too large of a role in the grand scheme of things. The sad thing might be is that I actually hold no value in anyone's opinion. I only try to read them to my own benefit.
*The more you care what others think, the more they own you.*
Amen to that. We are always more in charge of our minds and emotions than anyone else.
Great reminder! That’s why the feeling feels so terrible. All that matters is what I think of myself. ❤️
Couldn't have said it any better. That's very true!
BRO ! I screenshot that comment thank you I am having an hard time at school worrying what ppl think of me thank you ❤️
👀in fact no ones live for themselves
I want to thank myself for clicking on this video. thanks
When you’re 20 you worry about what people think about you, when you’re 40 you don’t care, when you’re 60 you realise they haven’t been thinking about you at tall.
Well, I’m 48 and still care.
Damn I needed this!!! I am 21 and I feel people judge me for being too social at work
Not true. I cared less when i was younger :(
@@Burgundysky I agree, I’m mealy 70 now and it’s getting worse
I think the internet has made things worse though.
Now everyone's life is available for everyone to judge, whereas that wasn't the case before the internet existed.
Worried what people thought of me all my life and it holds me back
Are you worried about what they think about you or what you think about you?
Julia Kristina Counselling well after watching your video it looks like I’m worried about stuff that I’m insecure about.
@@juliakristinamah I am the same. Yes, I would say it is my own insecurities and lack of confidence.
Same. In 30s and it’s not good having regrets. Not sure how to get out of this trap. This sucks
Don't waste time worrying about what others think about you focus more on being tbe best version of you .
I heard my mom judge everyone, so I grew up with that in my head. The ton of things I never did because I was afraid of being judge is crazy. I'm 41 and still trying to change that. 😔
I hear you sis. I grew up much the same way and had to work hard to break this habit both judging others and worrying about being judged.
I would say, too, that I grew up with judgmental people. They would talk so much about other people.
This is exactly it! My mother is like this; she STILL does this daily, and I'm trying my best to convince myself that others aren't like this but then I just remember that my mom exists and it just turns into this vicious circle.
Alexander Lowen's book The Fear of Death is a must read. Narcissism the denial of the true Self helped my son see the suffering and why. The Fear of Death I think is the most life promoting .
My life too, and I am 61 . Being aware and mindful about it are the biggest steps to change.
I pay therapist around $100USD a session, and they don't give nearly as much of a therapeutic effect as I get from watching your videos for free.
Glad you found it helpful Tom.
Stop going to therapy and give Julia $50 a month and you are still $50 on the deal. 😉🙏
Factsssssss
it's a win-win
I can understand the points here, however when I fear judgement I am actually fearing the social consequences of how people judge- exclusion, etc.
I needed this lol. I walk around school feeling like everyone is judging my outfit,hair,face anything really. And every time I hear a laugh I think it’s abt me 😳. But I want to get better so I can be myself at school and not worry abt others approval
I was the same, very self-conscious. I felt most everyone was negative towards me in regard to popularity, thinking they were so much better.
me too
Hi Ashland
I’m probably more than 50yrs older than you and I had this at school too and all through my working life, and it continues in my old age. It’s debilitating.
I suggest you get an answer whilst you are young otherwise you will suffer it right through life. It looks like you may have found the right place here.
There is so much more help these days, I sincerely wish you a very happy life.
If you stop judging yourself you wont feel they judge you. People never judged you, they judge themselves.
Same bruh
Truth is, people reflect their insecurities through their actions, if someone is hateful towards a lot of people, it’s likely they aren’t happy within so don’t take peoples attitudes and opinions too personally. Love this vid 👏🏻
Amen to that.
Never worry about being disliked.....being judged by others. We often feel like this...but the reality is that we need to be strong in our own skin and power. Be yourself, be authentic in one way every day.... people will always talk and make judgements about us.
Some people judge way more than others. Its like their hobby 😅 sad really
Fear of judgement is the fear of someone judging themselves by the way you judge your self. That's crazy! Thank you!
Sadly, I just turned 39 and still care what others think. I’m working on it now! Thank you and good luck to everyone!
When you know how deeply loved you are by your Father and BELIEVE and KNOW this you wont care anymore. That is what helped me initially and then it's just the constant flesh issues and I pray and remind myself that I am special
So special Angela.
Amen
Just my two cents, you should try to be who you wanna be because it makes you happy, not because you think it’ll make other people satisfied
Yes! The only opinion that truly matters is our own. We need to stop judging ourselves, and letting the opinions of others affect our lives. Everyone has preferences and views life through the filters of their own emotions and life experiences. If we alter how we think or act because of someone else's judgment, we will never lead an authentic life that is in alignment with who we really are. This was such a beautiful video that really addresses this fear perfectly. For anyone that needs to hear it today...YOU ARE ENOUGH! So so so enough. Do what makes YOU happy.
Nena Lavonne However, besides our own opinion for ourselves, we need to listen to constructive feedback from others in order to improve and grow.
I have to agree regarding feedback. I have good friends who have called me out on poor behaviours. I'm grateful to them.
This is the most perfectly timed video. I'm going to speak up in a meeting today about people judging me and projecting their insecurities on to me. I'm doing it in 45 minutes. Please pray for me!
How was it?
@@solelyy I didn't get the chance in the end because the meeting didn't happen, and then I went off on long-term sickness. I may be returning soon and have no qualms about doing it upon my return. I shall let you know how it goes if I do go back. Thank you for asking. 😊
I would advise against that. Not everyone in the meeting judges you so you’re bringing personal issues into a public space. That doesn’t help you. Nobody cares about your personal issues. Why do you worry about what others think or say?
@@chairde It's ok, I've now left there and since found out I'm autistic. Thank you for the advice though, Gerald. 😊
@@bellachance1206How are you doing these days? I hope you are well.❤
Judgement is the fear of someone else’s judgements of themselves because of what we are going to make it mean about the judgements we have of ourselves. Wow
I completely agree! I find myself thinking about judgment a lot. I am someone who used to judge people a lot (I still do a little bit, but I’m working on it) and I realized that every time I judged someone I did that only to make myself feel a little bit better, but at the end of the day my judgment was just an expression of my struggles. The more I work on myself and the more I heal, the less I judge. Now, most of the times I find myself not even caring about what people “might think” because I know that if someone judges me, it’s on them. It’s an expression of their own struggle. And I’m ok with that because I’m secure with myself.
Thanks shukran
I'm crying so hard right now. Thank you for this. I've been holding myself back so much because of this major insecurity that i have since childhood. This video cleared things up. I do rlly need to make peace woth this insecurity as well as strengthen my relationship with myself.
“It’s not about you it’s about them “i’ve always heard this phrase before but after hearing this from you you’ve explained it perfectly
I used to care about what others think. Now I don't care about much of anything. I'm not sure that this is any better. I do care about getting rest.
So the key is working on our insecurities then... Good to know.
Always - our relationship with ourselves is the most important one we'll ever have so it makes sense to invest in it everyday.
@@juliakristinamah I'll say the most important relationship we can have is with the Lord. But on an worldly level, it is with ourselves. Back to spiritual level though, one who has Christ has life, one who doesn't, has not life ( eternally speaking). Furthermore, If God is for us, who can be against us!. That verse alone helps those who believe with not worrying about what others think or how they might judge. See the difference and clarity and frankly an advantage for one who has a relationship with the Savior compared to one that doesn't?
@@TTundragrizzly please respect that not everyone shares any religion or your religion either...
@@susansherlock7474 Religion? That's the point! It's not about a religion. It's literally a personal relationship with the Risen Savior! Watching TV can be a religion! Going to the gym can be a religion! Religion is just a made up term by man! Having a personal relationship with the Lord is true freedom and no one can get to Heaven without Him. But it's not a form of bondage. It's freedom in Christ by His blood and Grace! Out of Love!!! How can you reject that? Your very soul depends on it. Now you know the truth, now it's on you. You can't straddle the fence and make it to the Kingdom. You are either for Him or against Him.
That's the message I got from it too.
I'm not sure who said it first, but the quote is "We despise in others what we hate about ourselves." It has always resonated with me and when I find myself being judgemental of someone else I choose to self-reflect and ask myself what it is about myself I'm struggling with that I am projecting onto that other person. When we are kinder to ourselves, we judge others less and ultimately ourselves less, too. Great video! Thank you for sharing!!
Am I the only one who feels that my overthinking and my thoughts no one will get them if I explain or they might think they're stupid thoughts that they give me more anxiety.
Same!
Go preach this to every judge in every courtroom on the planet.
It's about them their perception and their personality. Thats just who they are that's why they act out in Judgement and share their opinion about others.
Yup, it's what they have going on in the moment that they're offsetting on to us. It's the same thing that happens when we judge others - it's not about them, it's about us.
When you explained “what you fear” , I heard it, processed it, dropped my mouth, and started crying as a grown black man at work. It’s so crazy how such a simple thought can remain hidden. How my life would have continued if I’d not watched this, not knowing something so… important. 😢 thank you, Doctor.
You’ve gained a follower and a friend.
First video. Subscribed. Never seen a person be so passionate about what they are passionate and back it up. Flawless into, flawless explanation. Now I’m going to finish the video, but I just a to pause, reflect, and comment before I continued. Paused at 4:53.
Finished the video, got the info, got the resources, and am just so shocked to see an actual, genuine person who is in it genuinely to help. Me saying I can’t express all of what I want to say even feels like an understatement.
I’m looking to get big into politics. When I make it, and along the road, You will be a reference Julia Kristina.
Judgement from others has affected me as a child to a young adult. I used to take it personally because I wanted to feel part of a group or I want to feel appreciated. I had to find my personal happiness instead of searching for satisfaction with others.
Hello this really helped me get focus. appricate it
This is groundbreaking for me! Wow! A total BREAKTHROUGH in my thinking! THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!*** The potential this has in changing my life is enormous!!! This immediately empowered me; the shift in my thinking was like moving a mountain. It reminds me of the verse in the bible: " Let there be Light!" Thank you for shinning light in my dark thinking! God Bless You!!!!
"We fear what we will make those judgements mean about ourselves". Woah. This part in particular really hit home for me. I feel like I'm giving people so much power over me when I'm being like this.
When i feel this that they "slightly" i gave them the power, i twist my thoughts into..." yeah,yeah they have time for having conversation about me, am I too bright actress😅 so they see me even though they have so many struggles on their own life?
Thanks, this has helped me realize that it's about them and not about me. I get criticized and judged often by others and it doesn't faze me anymore. I realize they're ego driven or have a small mind.
Thank you, I will remember to watch this again.
My fear of judgement is not really about what others are going to say about me or think about me, but those are the things that I judge myself for and can't accept!
So very true if someone’s” judgment” of you is causing you distress it’s because you’re feeling some kind of inadequacy or struggle with that thing. So you really have two healthy choices either learn to embrace whatever you’re feeling” judged” about or change it!
Hi, I'm Anita, 27 years old, listening and watching from Belgium.
Your teachings are really helping me, and on this moment I really could use the support I can get, because I wanne go my own way, even when other people are discouraging me to do with everything that is going on in the world now a days.
Thank you so much, for giving me hope and tools to feel my self stronger then ever.
Make sense in that I can see my own insecurities causing me to think others are judging.
That sometimes leads to sabotage (drinking) to relieve 😕
Yeah - we often self-medicate to avoid our own thoughts about ourselves. The way to turn it around is through self-compassion.
A bad incident happened at my school, and not only did I stay home for two weeks but when I came back I was so anxious about what people think and it held me back a lot, I really want to work on just focusing on myself
If you don’t judge others, you are less likely to suspect others will judge you.
This is a HUGE truth.
Hi Julia! Thanks for commenting! Your videos have helped me a lot! Keep up the good work. :)
In reality everyone is making judgments all the time, positive or negative.
@@joycegreer9391 Until they realise they are doing it and then they have a choice to work on it and be more mindful about their thoughts or to continue through life judging and being judged. We always have a choice in how our minds work. Most folk do not understand this. Acceptance of what we have no control over is the way to be peaceful,
@@kobalt77 Making judgments is not a bad thing. Perhaps you are just thinking in terms of making likely negative judgments about other people based on appearance, etc.
There is much more to judgments. We make them everyday about everything; like what to wear, what to eat, whether or not to exercise and what, etc etc. It is an important part of life. Otherwise we would be just willy-nilly whatever with no standards or decisions. I guess you could call it by another word if judging sounds bad to you; like selecting, discriminating, discerning, etc. We had better be judging about who we have as friends and who we trust.
Yes, it is important to just accept what we cannot control; and what we cannot control is whatever other people may be judging about us, good or bad.
Wow. Hearing that judgement from others is about what's going on inside of them was Powerful! 🙏🏾
I'm not blessed with looks so have always walked around thinking ppl are judging me. I've wasted so much time caring about something thats not even my business.
I have realized that I have not seen much on the subject of judgment around those who feel like they have transformed themselves through therapy to just turn around and harshly judge others who mirror their former selves.
10 years of self help information and this is the most impactful one I have watched.
Hello Everyone my name is Nick Stiles.
I recently left a 6 year long narcissistic domestic abuse situation. I have always had issues with myself since I was sexually abused as a child by the middle school kids in my neighborhood. Had a bad romantic relationship where drugs were heavily used. This last month since I went no contact after discovering I was being abused, my mind has grown so much. I know I have a lot to do still, but I feel so much better, and this video helped me with my main struggle. I always fear being judged, and now I understand that those judgements are just things i can learn to love and accept about myself.
Hello Nick. I was molested for years as a child and the shame destroyed my self esteem. I just wanted to inpire you and tell you to never give up! Things do get better if you keep pressing forward no matter what it looks like or feels like. Good luck to you 👍
The best to you! May healing, support, and good things come your way!
My 2 cents on judgement:
There is only one you and that is the real you.
The you that you KNOW you are.
The you that you understand you know you are.
Then there is the not you.
The you that you THINK you are.
The you that you imagine you think you are.
Be aware that you are NOT your thoughts, for your thoughts are NOT your own.
Take ALL thought captive.
By simply doubting ALL thought.
The understanding of who you truly are causes you to be set free from judgement.
When you are free you will not be able to judge yourself or others.
And it wont matter to you that others still judge you.
So, question is do you know who you are?
Judgement has to do with putting others down because of their frame of reference. Those who grew up in families constantly judging others because of their own inadequacies have to learn that the people they judged were not the things their parents labelled them, but the judgement came from their parents fear of not being good enough.
Very true ..it's our short comings we fear about ourselves thinking that people might find out our weakness
It’s not about people but about the things that we are struggling with which is true.
I understand exactly what you are saying-completely, but some times it's very difficult because the criticisms that I face are not just "imagined" or "exaggerated", but my family scapegoated me so much and overtly blamed me for everything. I had a cousin tell my Mother to disinherit me because I didn't come home very much and stuff like that. It's difficult when the criticism is very real, overt, mean and aggressive so it's really not so easy to perhaps think their criticisms are not nearly as bad as I imagine. But yes, the point I think you are making is that if your sense of self is strong enough, you can deal with it. I do also believe that insecure people try to feel better about themselves by viciously even attacking others.
I like that, " it's not about being a better person...... it's about growing"! This video rings true to me and my self judgement. I worked through a lot of insecurities over the years but know I have more work to do. Thank you Julia for your impactful videos. I am truly blessed to have found you!
Every Wednesday, your video is the absolute best part of my day! I’m incredibly self-conscious sometimes, and hate the feeling that I’m constantly being judged. I hope you have a wonderful rest of your week, thank you so much for uploading this!! 💜
Admir- give yourself more self-compassion and more self-love and stop feeling like others are judging you.
Julia Kristina Counselling Thank you so much for the advice, I’ll certainly keep that in mind and reframe how I process my interactions with people moving forward! It’s no use being constantly paranoid that people are picking apart my every move. It doesn’t happen overnight, but I’ll get there.
@@admirbarucija2018 Same here, worrying about how everything I say or do is being judged.
Another great lesson Julia! I've had this explained to me in the past and couldn't wrap my around it but, now I can! This will help me in so many aspects of my life moving forward. My biggest takeaway is that judgment is about healing myself or, taking responsibility for myself rather than, worrying about what other people are thinking about me. How freeing is that?! Gives me the power to work through my 'stuff' and not get 'stuck' in worrying about what others are judging me on! So powerful, Thank you! 👍
Yes, it triggers our insecurities.
I understand everything, you're talking, with my head, BUT my soul hooks for others opinion.
Hi Julia Kristina! Just wanted to quickly introduce myself. My name is Pao, and as someone who has gone through my share of trials and tribulations, I truly appreciate being able to pick up practical pieces of advice that I believe are strong building blocks of what we face on a day-to-day basis. Your messages, lessons and tips are immensely helpful. I look forward to your content every morning. God bless and more power to you!
Thank you Julia Kristina, for your welcome to this “amazing” corner of the internet. For me this is another very supportive piece delivered in your usual, very comprehensive manner, although this time, judging,and /or feeling judged by others, is not something that I struggle with particularly. For me it’s a reassuring piece at a time when I’ve being going through some intense self scrutiny, rebuilding my self and my sense of self. It’s helpful to me because I find it grounding. Sort of, yep, that’s a piece of me that I recognise, I tend to not judge.
I am 61 and I am on the right side now of removing myself from what has been perhaps more than 2 decades of gaslighting, a word that I’d not even heard of until about 6 months ago, so up until then impossible to come to terms with. You’re short videos have been extremely helpful to me, and I’m very grateful, so thank you.
I am now looking at who I grew up as before my sisters, and those who support them, had scapegoated me and in doing so destroyed my existence and sense of self and reality, and looking so in order to remind myself of who I am. All such reminders are very helpful.
Im 56 and always felt this. I want to change and ive come along way. But I am ready to let it go forever 😊
I appreciate this video. My whole life I’ve always tried to shape myself to be good enough for others but no matter what I do it’s never enough, and then eventually I get so frustrated I feel there’s no solution. Julia is right, we got to work on the relationship with ourself, if we can love ourself then no one else can bother me, we’re all human end of the day, none of us are perfect so there’s no obligation to be perfect.
Wow this video makes absolutely sense for me. My parents make me feel like this and they are 85.
It's my life and I fear no more what they think of me. I'm a good,kind compassionate woman who always puts myself second.. I will now nurture and love myself and fut my own oxygen mask first.
Thankyou soo much .Julia. love and peace from Hampshire UK
New concept for me that my fear of being judged is about me, and also that when I judge others it is all about myself.
Judgment has nothing to do with anyone else.... this is freeing.
Hello Julia Kristina! This is Itika from India. I graduated in B.A English(honours) and have always not just loved but also grew surrounded by philosophy, psychology and literature during my three years of bachelors. I am back at your channel now after I guess a year and half, and I am so-so-truly-truly glad that I am back here irrespective of the fact I am not dealing with any wellbeing issues right now. I love watching your videos irrespective of being mentally really well and having a self regulating life after these 1.5 years. I believe that I learn from your videos not just for my own well being, but also for the people I love.
I am so glad I came back to your channel
Iam 18 now I overcame 2 years of teen depression and then social anxiety and now iam trying to cope up with this
Behaviour of being judged
Someone give this person a Nobel Prize
Holy smokes! I get it. It clicked immediately!
Change your self concept and your perception of others’ thoughts will reflect that change, eliminating judgment.
You are my new superhero! Thank you!
Self awareness and starting the process of healing is key for every issue that arise outside of ourselves.
Attend to yourself. Passive, loving self observation leads to all the goodies, change, forgiveness, growth, compassion, healing.
As a counselling psychologist myself, I applaud this clear assessment of a very common problem. 👍👍
wonderful video. I really needed this. I give so much power to others. I fear being disliked and rejected.
julia kristina every day serving us the hard TRUTHS ladies and gentlemen. you rock
Hard, but hopefully helpful and healing.
It’s not what others think, but most importantly it is what you think that really matters.
I don’t know how this popped up on my feed but I really needed it right this moment.
I use to be afraid that people would see my comments because I plan on b coming super famous. I am bisexual and I judge people because I was taught it was wrong. What’s sad is I don’t feel like it’s wrk g I just been finding it because I feared myself. Thank you because you’re right. Thank you. love you.
You just said what my mind couldn't make a sentence
Thank you from Scotland.
You're welcome from Vancouver ;-)
Both parts couldn't be more true! I can see why I never thought I was good enough. Which is why we oftentimes don't present our authenticity. I just discovered this as I began a new treatment last week!!
GOOD for you Tom.
@@juliakristinamah many thanks! I've been watching your videos for about almost a year now! It has helped a lot!!
Julia your video is amazing!!! I am 21 and i have too low self esteem. Sometimes it is difficult not to care what others think about us because i may not feel enough. I want people to consider me reliable and a good person. Sometimes people don't value me as much as i should. I don't know why
My biggest takeaway of judgments are it's about the other person, but also about me and things I need to work on that I still struggle with are what keep me from not worrying about what other people think of me.
I love the insight into judgment. As a nurse I tell people that also but Julia helped me understand what my intuition knew. Judging others is similar to sliming another with wounds we've slimed ourselves with. It's Misery craving company. Once we build up our bodies, minds & spirits is when we can encourage others to be more mindful and attract to those who do not judge & slime.
Julia came here to get help for my daughter bc idk the advice she needs , thank you for being here and helping
Oh my god. This video has literally just saved me from many more years of feeling like I can never, ever make real connections with anyone and hide forever when the fear of being judged comes from what I struggle with. That point was spot on for me.
I feel that people around me are judging me for the way I look , the way I speak aur the way I walk. Even with my family members. I cry while explaining my point every time. All this had made me so low confident. That i can't feeel myself anymore. I know I will be more confident When i will stop thinking what other's are thinking. But i try everyday and i fail.!!
Thanks for making my day. I hate the feeling of feeling judged by my peers or my family it hurts when you feel like you cant speak up for fear yourr going to offend
Why are you worried so much about accidentally offending someone?
Im always worried ive said something. Basically im c ok nstantly what others think. Im so worried about how others feel in regards to my choices that i feel im failing them.
Hello to the people who also want to make themselves even better! You're doing a good job, keep it up until you reach your goal! keep learning! We can do this!
this was LIFE CHANGING for me and ive struggled with my entire life. this video brought me a breakthrough!
Thank you, this helped my 11 year old myself, i always feared beign judged, and i thought that if i were someone like "her" i Won't get judged , now i will be myself, dress like myself, write like myself, do things like myself ❤
Can't really thank enough
You turned out to be My Krishna today
Thankyou lady
Lot's of love
Thank you, Julie. This one connected. Some of it I already know. Some of it I don't.
At the end of the day, be true to yourself. Don't change for other people.
People who are constantly judging others are not secure whole people.
The harsher people judge themselves, the harsher they will judge others.
Some people have difficulty having awareness or acknowledgement of their own flaws and darkness.
While they are busy judging you, they avoid looking at their own shadows.
Instead of honestly looking at one's own flaws with acceptance, compassion and understanding, some people are too obsessed with the shame, guilt and sin associated with them, ingrained in us by social norms and rigid religious dogmas and, hence, having severe intolerance and hatred of themselves.
Two things which I think are very important to note, I.e.,
Acceptance and understanding of one's darkness and flaws is not the same as condoning them or giving oneself license to act out on them.
Only with self-awareness and acknowledgement can keep the demons in check.
And the realization that we are all having this constant battle of good and evil, darkness and light inside us, are what truly connected us with one another as human beings.
To be human is to be flawed.
When we are aware of the pain and struggle of each of us going through to try to make the right decision and to do good and make the best of what we can in this life, we will no longer so easily judge one another
Instead, treat each other with compassion and empathy.
There is hope for humanity. We can create a better world.
Fantastic video, when we are human we make mistakes only God is perfect, so we are not to be perfect but childlikely accepting our flaws and limitations as part of our path of growing towards the highest possible goal we can aim at in our lives. Thank you so much Julia Christina!
I like this! I believe whatever is in another person's mind is none of my business. But, you’re right it’s the self-judgment that can be the undoing. Love and accepting self exactly as-is - is tricky, but worth working on. Thank you
Some of the most important work we can do. Glad you're here for it sis.
# Their judgement is not for u but it is for themselves. # work on relationship with yourself, healing, your own insecurities dealing with it, cleaning up the inside, cleaning up our thoughts. Lastly ""don't let others judgement hold u back from the things you always love and wanted to do""❤.
This is one of the most important videos I’ve ever watched. I’m feeling this insecurity right now after writing an email to someone. I’m debating and working on the reasons why I’m feeling so insecure... and trying to not feel I have to be perfect. All you said is so true. Thank you so much! I love your work!
I never thought judging was a reflection of others thoughts and of myself.
Thank you I have a hard time casting about what people think and needed this
I so needed to hear this KJulia, I'm recovering from a TBI as a direct result of my addictions. This injury Definitely brought me to a new bottom, but ironically, what people would call a "setback" was in reality, a springboard into new growth, and I still got a long way to go. Im on your waitlist :]
Realize I'm a little late to this video thread, just came across it, but OMG you are spot on with your definition about judgement! Thank you for the clarity!
This all might be true but what is missing is that others have the power to exclude us from our social circle through their judgment
The Shadow Self is something I will look to read more about. I have found that the times when I have been able to know that someone else's judgement is based on themselves and not me and not fact (and understanding this during the conversation) it has gone a long way to helping me be more compassionate during the conversation rather than defensive and/or irritated.
Courage, confidence and value within will definitely help one to care less about other people's opinions. I listen effectively but in the end, i decide if it's beneficial or if i can learn from it
Thank you so much Julia Kristina I didn't have real access to a good therapist and even prayed to the Lord and badda bing I run into your videos . I even told my daughter about you, I hope she learns good things from you also. I am watching this video again.
We are judged mostly by our own thinking than other people. I was struggling a lot since my childhood but now everything has changed. Thanks by your amazing video and great information. Regards from afghanistan❤
Just another example of your unique & great perspective.
I've never heard or read anyone do the math in quite this way before.
One of THE best videos ive seen about judgement. OMG this just made my.mind explode..that im immediately watching it again😊 I think this is about changing your overall thought process..and not being a victim to others opinions of you. In the end..its, who cares what they think about you. And i love IT!!!❤❤