6 Reasons Why Introverts Are Attractive
Вставка
- Опубліковано 15 чер 2024
- In this video, I discuss why being an introvert can not only be incredibly attractive but also a positive and helpful aspect of your life! As a fellow introvert, I share how I've utilized this to my advantage.. feel free to share your personal experience in the comments!
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Instagram: @courtneycristineryan
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0:00 Introduction
2:04 GREAT LISTENERS
3:45 COMPOSURE ON POINT
4:47 VALUE PRIVACY / BEING ALONE
6:21 GREAT CONVERSATION
8:16 SELECTIVE & LOYAL - Навчання та стиль
“Don’t do that, don’t give me hope.”
Hahaha
You stole my comment lol
@@FreakinfreakInfreaki yeah, you definitely came up with this quote and didnt steal it or anything, right?
@@siwap3809 bro chill like damn
@@siwap3809 you're a little intense lol
As an introvert, I am very selective with who I give my time and attention to, but have been getting better and better at being attractive and picking my crowd. Not just in relationships, but friends and family too
Love to hear it!
@@CourtneyRyan Much appreciated! 😊
Same bro 👍🙏
Altruistic relationships
Yea but my networking skills sucks which I need for marketing and running a business
Being an introvert myself, I noticed that I’m more talkative and open with someone once I’ve established a relationship with them. I enjoy being who I am and nothing will ever change that.
Same here
Same here
it gets easier to open once people pass our unconscious / internal trust detector so we can confide to them 😂
I think there can be a misinterpretation that introverts never like to leave the house and they are boring, but honestly it's just not wanting to be center of attention when you go somewhere, and there's nothing wrong with that. I'm introverted, but I don't mind going out.. meanwhile I have friends that are loud and want to be seen and heard and that's just not my style.
it can be different if you're an attractive introvert lol
Uh, hate leaving the house!
I’d rather have a friend come over and watch a hockey game or take a girlfriend somewhere silent and distant from other people. I can’t do big crowds with everyone talking at once like I can’t hear myself talk and I can’t get a word in anyways.
Bless you Devin for saying this. Same here 100%
Straight up me.
I always grew up as the quiet guy and people saw that as anti social and awkward but for me, I need to take that time to analyze my surroundings and observe people's behaviors and actions before I open up to them. That's actually a wise way to go about life. Not just when it comes to dating but in all interactions in life. It will save from a lot of unnecessary heartache and disappointment. Just don't over do it because if you're overly introverted and shy, you might miss out on a blessing that would have been the perfect situation for you, but you kept that wall up for so long, you didn't give yourself the opportunity to receive that blessing that was meant for you. Great video
Thats what my negative trait is. I missed very fun interesting attractive people because I overdue it!
This is me. Thanks for sharing your story. I relate.
Don't believe you, you look like will smith
Well said Tony.
Yea well women will not appreciate it. They see it as boring and weak. They only see things on a surface level
I’m an introvert, basically everything on here. I’m confident in myself. I’m not shy, but I only speak when spoken to. But the problem I have is initiating conversations. I’m good at conversations. Just not starting them. But if someone else started it I would feel more comfortable & good at the conversation.
Pretty much me
thats me too, i cant begin conversations
Machine gun facts right there my guy
That's me as well.
Seems about right for me as well
I think the tough parts of being an introverted man are 1) American society seems to be less accepting of introverted men than it is of introverted women 2) it's a long game for our desirable qualities to make themselves known compared to extroverts that can quickly charm women. It's really tough to see extroverted friends with similar tastes in women to quickly hit it off with women you both are interested in.
America is just a very extroverted society - to an annoying level.
Thanks for sharing your insights about the tough parts of being an introverted man; I appreciated hearing your thoughts. Wishing you all the best!
Here in Brazil this is worst because our culture is too much extrovert.
So sometimes I basically have to explain to the person about introverts. At the end the person understand and then we start talking, and that's it.
So if you're introvert, relax, don't get mad if someone complain about you being quiet.
Facts
@@bemlok In Puerto Rico too
As an introvert, I used to view that as a character flaw, like something was wrong with me. Thank you Courtney for explaining how awesome being an introvert really is!
Cope
It's a superpower, looking at how extroverts get an emotional meltdown if they don't get attention or don't get invited or don't have friends, this makes me feel invincible as if I think it's nice to know ppl but I can entertain myself just fine 😎
@@okashiname8326
Don’t generalize all extroverts like that. I know many who are very emotionally stable and friendly people. It’s good to be proud of being an introvert, but you don’t have to put down someone else either.
COPE
O
P
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Courtney means introvert Chad. They always do, every other man is invisible to them unless he makes himself stand out somehow.
A regular guy sure as fuck doesn't stand out by being introverted. You have to train extroversion like you train a muscle. Difficult social situations that put you under tension & pain, and you'll grow.
@@okashiname8326 You don't need to see as superpower. Extrovert has advantages too. What you have to do is know yourself and don't pressure yourself too much.
I'm introvert and I have extrovert friends. Sometimes the their extroversion help me and something my introversion help them.
I’ve never been more proud to be an introvert, it’s almost like a super power. Thank you Courtney, well done!
🦸♀️🦸♂️
INTJ’s stand up…. I mean sit down and be 🤫
amen
Don’t listen to this bs lmao you’re only attractive as an introvert if you’re physically attractive smh
same
Great video. I believe it’s better to have a small group of people you can trust than to be surrounded by tons of people you can’t
Totally agree!
That's true when it comes to friendship, but with dating, most of us have to meet a LOT of new people. The amount of time you have to make a good impression is measured in minutes and hours, not months or years.
Eye opener this comment!
I always feel like Courtney is talking directly to me. She always provides confidence boosts and she isn’t some rabid man-hating feminist. She always builds up us men. Great channel with actually great advice.
Do you hear your self. She has no idea what she is talking about. Women do not like introverted men. Haven't you ever heard a woman say " he must be outgoing, ambitious and high social status. These are all extroverted traits. An introverted man is a loner. The guy sitting in the corner just watching the crowd. I have been told this is creepy and weird. I've been told that it was assumed that I am thinking of doing something evil all the time. She is saying this because the crowd she targets are introverted men. If she told you the truth she wouldn't have a channel. Even the whole process of attracting a woman demands extroversion. Unless you are a 7foot tall chad, you being reserved isn't seen as dark and mysterious, it's weird and creepy. This woman is doing the same thing every other woman does. She wants what you have and she will say what ever to keep you on the hook.
@@jackwhite8238 Unfortunately I think you’re right. That’s how it is when it comes to a lot of narcissistic status-oriented women and it’s hard to come by women who aren’t like that quite frankly. But there are ones like Courtney who aren’t toxic like that even if they’re a minority. Sadly I have had mostly the same experience as you when it comes to those types of women. I told my last girlfriend upfront before we even started dating that if I had to pay for everything I wasn’t gonna date her. That same girlfriend knew I was introverted but she said she was determined to break me out of my shell because she thought deep down that I was a sweetheart but that I just didn’t like talking to people because I was used to people shutting me down all the time. And that assessment was accurate. But she was a very rare case and there are just too many unreasonable women who have unrealistic expectations and many of those types of women are just gold-diggers who don’t want to work.
@@jackwhite8238 100%
How have you guys turned this nice compliment into this sad conversation? Most men my friends are with are introverted and most of the women I know are extroverts wanting to go out all the time while their partners want to stay home. My husband is a huge introvert, so is my brother so is my dad. Being quiet and introverted doesn’t hurt most guys’ love lives. Making broad assumptions about women helping your love lives? I’ve watched known women with ugly men, short men, poor men et . You wanna know what they all do have in common? I have no fucking idea lmao but I know if you don’t see women as the enemy they won’t be.
@Rick Sin In fairness to Courtney’s explanation she was referring to generalized introversion at an innate personality level. It’s important for people who possess this personality type don’t relegate themselves subconsciously due to mainstream societal norms of “quick-wit” and “spontaneity” in terms of communicative expression. She went even further to say when an introverted person has self awareness and a firm “frame of reference” then this can be utilized in any social situation without falling short of interacting with the world around you. Personally, I consider myself an ambivert so I understand where both sides are coming from.
I’ve read the book Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking by Susan Cain. Some of the concepts that you talked about are in the book. It is a really interesting book. Very few people are totally introverts or totally extroverts.
@Anthony Manzio mad extrovert 😂
Right on Robert I'll have to check it out. Thanks!
It's not like introverts don't like talking. They just don't like talking about meaningless stuff to unknown people. With family and friends, familiar people, it's a different situation - we can talk them to the death.
Yes I pick up a copy of that book just finished reading it i learned alot about myself being an introvert as well I recommend that book for any who think there an introvert
Thanks for the booktip
Courtney, it’s like you are speaking to me. It’s great to hear someone validate the positive attributes of introversion.
I’m so glad to hear it. Thanks for watching!
COPE
Lol you took the bait. Courtney's referring to introvert Chad & introvert pretty girls who don't have to utter a fucking word. Regular guys absolutely need to learn how to turn on extroversion.
@@toomuchtruth you clearly didn't pay attention to the video then 🤣
@@ghosttheprogram6973 Obviously.
I’ve always thought being a introvert was terrible, I stopped going out for such a long time because all my friends are extroverts so I just thought they hated that I stay to myself and never really say anything , like I was ruining their nights. I’m so glad that people find introverts attractive it’s a bit of a confident booster.
Introverted has more disadvantages than advantages
@Muttley 69 true, even Introverted women have it easier whereas introverted men would need to get out to find the girl
We live in a society that praises extroversion & condemns introversion. But there's room for both
I'm a party animal introvert but it's like what Courtney says. After I party, I need to rest and watch a movie while a lot of my friends are hunting for woman at 4 am.
They only find introverrs attractive that are good looking.
Massive introvert here, from my childhood, and you nailed EVERY point. We just want to be left alone.
My friends, even the long standing ones, always wonder why I avoid their phone calls (most of the time deliberately by seeing their numbers), don't socialize as much as they want me to be and think I'm arrogant/cocky/everything under the sun and hate me for it, while it's the complete opposite. I want ALL of them to succeed in life and enjoy hearing everyone of them making their dreams come true. Sometimes I don't even attend my relatives' calls.
The ones who understand me (apart from my parents) are the ones I'm very VERY close to and it's an extremely small close knit circle.
Thanks for this video, Courtney.
They don't sound like good friends. I'd try find more like minded friends.
@Jesterio Vizatti What people.
I was an introvert all through school…quiet, shy, kept to myself…I had a hearing loss due to scarlet fever as a baby…as a result I had difficulty participating…got a hearing aid and started wearing it when I was 63… I feel like a different person, a little more social and extroverted….
I really do feel like I’m at my most comfortable by myself. I think it was super hard for extroverts during the Covid lockdown. But for me, I was pretty happy because I already know how to have fun on my own lol.
Trust me introverts aren't worried about being introverted. We do worry about the extroverts. They all have to talk so much. There's a underlying issue there. Why else do they need to talk so much crap about nothing at all.
Introverts also tend to ask more questions about the people theyre talking to..which in turn makes the other person feel interesting and involved in the conversation, rather than having to fight to be heard.
From the introvert committee our presence is like a fox you won’t see us a lot when you do prepare for a good time😉
Committee chairman 😂🤣
Finally someone gets us, thank you😂🙂 there's alot of misconception about introverts so I'm glad you made this video
🙌🏼 I totally get it!
I hear ya - MaceReactions! Great tips - by Courtney!
And speaking of Introverts… Sigma Males are Introverts!
It seems like a Sigma Male is the guy to be - you get the best of both worlds.
You’re not a beta male, and you’re not necessarily an alpha male either. You’re sort of in the middle.
You’re kind of an introvert, because you don’t want to be distracted by other people’s thoughts and views all the time.
You know what you want out of life, and you’re focused - and you wake up each morning ready, and you put your whole mind to it!
Anyway, that’s my two cents.
-Carlos Verde - Dating Tips
I worked at place where for most the day I was left alone to work and I absolutely loved it just me and my work no one to bother me no small talk to make no distractions. The boss said my work was so good he kept me on that position until I had to switch out for the last 2 hours of the shift and I always hated that part cause now I had to go work with people annoying people
I’ve always been an introvert, and as long as I can remember, there’s always been a negative stigma on introverts. Thanks for making this video and disproving the negative stereotypes 👍
As an introvert, I find this way too optimistic :) from my experience, to find someone who value those qualities is very, very hard.
Yeah, I just came from the friendzone video. I'm curious how introverts avoid the friendzone because I think qualities like being a good listener is a good way to get friendzoned.
@@zeaferjones1404 friendzone them first. Thank me later.
@Jesterio Vizatti if you didn't watch Courtney video, why do you comment here?
Courtney nailed it. My personal experience with being an introvert and also in the dating world is unfortunately I feel we're at a big disadvantage on dating apps since our strengths are harder to show through a screen. Our in person, real world interactions are our best bet with meeting someone and forming a connection. If only I enjoyed leaving my home more...
They not always enjoy a first date with an introvert, it might seem boring if there's no instant connection or "spark" . I think extroverts truly take the advantage here as they're usually more entertaining to be around in a first meeting
@@cogordoo Extroverted doesn’t mean less boring, just means they like to go out more. You could be more outgoing than an extrovert as an introvert but just prefer being by yourself most of the time
I am very much an introvert and sometimes I had an uncomfortable relationship with acknowledging that. A book I read that I found very informative and entertaining was Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking by Susan Cain. I recommend it all the time. It helped me understand that we all have different strengths and weaknesses, even us introverts.
So many of these points are me. Even with family, it can take me awhile to warm up with siblings I haven't seen in awhile. I've also had conversations where people are surprised I remember a detail from a conversation from months ago and follow up on it.
This was an entertaining video! Thanks
Thanks Courtney. I'm an introvert who's tried to be more extroverted for most of my life. These positive aspects you're talking about really help me to see, and be more accepting, of my strengths.
As an introvert i've always perceived my situation as being locked in a prison. Being quiet and socially awkward have hardly ever worked in my favour. Due to this i stopped going out as it was a mental drain sitting by myself at a bar all night, not talking to people unless spoken to.
The qualities you mention i definitely posses but i'm clueless as how to use them properly
Really appreciate this Courtney. Glad you are able to see the better side of introverts.👍🏾
Thanks for this video. People often fail to realize that being an introvert does NOT mean one is shy or awkward as unfortunately many people assume. (although I was shy as well in my young years)
Agreed....my belief is that as you get older you get a better understanding of yourself and the world around you
Exactly, I have to correct people on this.
yeah you can be quiet and still be confident
No lies detected Courtney. Everything you said was exactly spot on. Another great video like always.
Great points, you’re spot on with everything. I’m quiet and keep my inner circle small. The last point is my personality, I keep to myself. It’s helped me to write all of the books I have and I’ve embraced it since I was a kid. Awesome video!
This is a very thoughtful video, one of your best. Yes, I completely agree. I have always had great relationships as an introvert. People really value the time an introvert gives you. It takes time to build a friendship with them, but once you do, it is long lasting and very rewarding. Nice job analyzing this trait, I can tell you are one of us!
If you are from a dysfunctional background, an introvert that possesses a great memory and proper listening skills, you can be a great conversationalist. Especially, if you can avoid having a toxic personality or petty feelings.
Hi, coming here from a relationship where being introverted was considered abnormal, even after being liked by everybody I met during that time. Thank you for reminding me about my superpower of being myself! I will keep that in mind while dating.
Glad I stumbled on the UA-cam channel. Happy to see some good content and the appreciation for “us” introverts. Not having social media makes me sometimes feel like I don’t fit in, but I’m glad some people still respect privacy.
Powerful and intelligent dissection of this topic Courtney. Before I had any understanding of this, I spent the first half of my life trying to figure out what was “wrong” with me. Personal awareness skills are the foundational key to achieving any level of growth in life. With age comes wisdom.
Your straightforward delivery in your commentary provides calm and easily understandable factors to reframe these aspects as strengths instead of weaknesses. Grateful thnx for providing such a refreshing, no BS channel of learning.
Thank you Courtney. I use to think I’m an extravert, but I long for deeper conversations. I HATE small talk, it seems so boring to me. In dating, it feels like I’m not allowed to have deep conversations with a girl until several dates in.
One thing I've had to remember when it comes to listening is to know when to draw the line and realize when I'm being someone's dumping ground for their negativity
Thank you so much for making this video. You’ve been extremely helpful and really made me feel good about who I am .
I like your channel because of videos like this. I am more of an introvert than an extrovert but at times, just like everybody, I feel I naturally am an introvert, specially when I'm around hyper extroverts, the type that makes everyone intimidated by how "proactive" they are. When that happens I sometimes question myself if I'm doing okay in not trying to show off or impress. While I like to talk and being an extrovert, I am convinced that it's better to listen and talk. I can relate to this video. Thank you!
These are very good points. Some introverts are better at connecting with people. Extroverts to me are just good speakers and like to be the attention of the room. I know some extroverts can talk to a crowd but can't have a one on one conversation with person. I'm more an introvert and don't really talk to people until I really get to know them.
I’m the same way!
This was very helpful Courtney. We appreciate you sharing these qualities as it helps uplift the stigma among introverts. Although we have different energies, we shine in different and meaningful ways. Interestingly, there are famous tech leaders and celebrities with introvert personalities.
It was probably a month ago when I finally found out that I am rather an introvert (somewhere between the center and the edgy type of introvert) and like @TinyLifeTAKEOVER said, I am really proud of it. Everything mentioned in your video applies and it's really awesome to know who you really are. And that thing about small talk is so true, I've been struggling with it to this day but thanks to stepping out of comfort zone and meeting a few new people, it gets a bit easier. Thanks Courtney.
Interesting and relevant points raised here. One of the salient topics raised is the private / reserved nature of introverts - many are often driven by the principle of information being on a “need-to-know” basis, which is a vital safeguard mechanism in a day and age where there is a proclivity for oversharing, especially via social media. On a different note, Courtney’s cadence and delivery show a mature and balanced take on these things, which is very refreshing indeed!
This video nailed it Courtney. That's just like me. I like to say I'm secretly confident. Already one of your best vids 👌
Thank you so much! Glad you resonated with it ❤️
Good chance it could end up being her top5 top10 most viewed videos. Give it a couple weeks
Thanks Courtney. I'm a 55 year old functioning introvert and you hit the nail on the head in your points here. I say "functioning" because I spend a lot of time holding classes, training, and speaking in front of groups in my work. I can turn it on when I need to but when the last person walks out of the room, no one is happier it's done than me. The problem with being observant and reading the room, and this will sound rude, is that I usually realize 98% of the people there are not anyone I'd want to spend time with. I can count the true friends that I've had in life, that I genuinely was close to on one hand. I think the biggest difficulty for people like me is weeding out the one person in fifty that actually wants to take the time to know someone and sit and listen to them. I can't tell you how many people say "So tell me about yourself" then immediately interrupt me and talk about themselves for an hour. I just don't run across enough people socially to make the endeavor worthwhile. It's like trying to find a needle in a haystack and the haystack is in the next county.
Great vid Courtney! As an introvert, I am very observant and I select very carefully to whom I will invest my time, energy, resources, etc.
@CourtneyRyan Thank you for always treating the subjects in your videos with objectivity and respect. There's a lot of channels that use what kind only be described as emotional manipulation and are glorified product advertisements.
And as far as this video? Those who prefer to be someone who experiences life and lets it speak for itself - learn more as human beings.
I grew up thinking being an introvert was a flaw. There must have been something wrong with me. Thank you so much for this video Courtney! Your video made me feel like you were talking directly to me!
It’s only a flaw if you’re ugly
I've noticed that people get uncomfortable when I'm sitting there quietly when the convo has faded (think of the so dreaded awkward silence). I for one love feeling the presence of people without having to continually keep talking to them, so the awkward silence that is so dreaded is actually something I enjoy with people. As an introvert I've noticed that we're more comfortable with silence.
You make some very good points. I'm naturally introverted and it's easy to forget how positive these qualities you outlined are. For a long time I took my need for connection and deep conversation as something wrong with me, now I tend to value it and I try and focus on the people who seem to appreciate this about me.
I appreciate this video Courtney. This does help me to find ways to utilize my introversion, because honestly I have been running from it.
I used to be a big introvert but after years of therapy & healing i'm extroverted now. Although i prefer to be alone most of the time, if i'm in any kind of social setting i'm very open and talk to anyone about anything for however long i do. I think with therapy & healing i grew to become alot more confident in who i am as a person and have something worth sharing to the world in me just being who i am now.
Nice one mate, what was your best treatment that helped the most in therapy?
@@t.c252 EMDR Therapy
@@pinheadlarry3992 Oh that's great, I tried it once and didn't notice any change unfortunately.
🤦♂️
7. They never leave the house so they can't cheat on you
HAHA YES
😅
In Soviet Russia house leaves you.
I could listen to you talk for hours (well at this point I already have lol) Your voice is so soothing. Another great video Courtney, happy to see your You-tube career take off 🚀
This really gave me strength and confidence that being an introvert isn't bad in general but just different with its on advantages. Thank you. ❤
It's ok to be an introvert, just be confident in what you do. When you speak, people will definitely listen when they know you don't speak often and that when you do, it means something.
I am an introvert. Since adolescence I noticed that people feel that they can really talk and say what they have on their chest with me. I'm very observant and tend to pay attention to the details and later talking about it with them. This can be a curse because I can call BS very quick. It's my "super power", I'm very insightful, but I'm also very blunt.
My circle of friends is very, very, small. I don't let just anyone to know me, I can speak to anyone, but there's a wall that only a select few are allowed to overcome. And I do enjoy spending a lot of time by myself.
Even when I'm with my family, after a few hours, I really do need some time for myself, to be alone. Making something that I like, being reading, writing, listening to music or working out. If I don't have those hours to be alone, I'll become very crancky. My wife learned this very early and very fast.
that video was definitely made for me, i feel so good after watching this. Thank you so much!!
Courtney, I hope you read this message one day. I've been an introvert as long as I can recall, and many times I have hated myself for being this way. However, your content, and this video in particular, has renewed my self-love. So I just want to say, thank you very much. God bless you
It's so freeing for me to know I don't have to draw on others for energy. Something that I've done awhile back was deleting all of the people off of social media that I don't talk to anymore. I went from 367 down to a little under 200 on my Facebook friends list. It felt overwhelming having that extra "weight"
I love the benefits that come with being an introvert. We are often mislabeled and understood, but as an introvert, don't really care. I love living alone and living a quiet, peaceful life, not caring what most peoples opinions are. No social media, no drama, no conflict. It's a pretty cool life.
Thank you Courtney, I really appreciate this video and the value you see in people like me
Definitely you made me feel much better about being myself! All the points are spot on, and it's funny we almost not see it that way! That we actually rock and have a lot of attractive sides as well! Thank you, after your video I have better appreciation for myself! 😎
Ngl as an introvert I feel like when I first meet someone I'm expected to do something cool in order to get respected and not looked at as weird or say something cool it's just an internal struggle that goes through my head. And when I'm hanging with extroverted friends I self consciously look at myself through their eyes I'm like they probably think I'm weird even if they don't really think that > _
I used to feel the same way. I think once you realize your strengths instead of wishing you were something you’re not, you gain so much power!
Maybe I'm wrong, but that sounds like a self confidence thing to me. Putting higher value on others and wanting to earn their respect and wanting them to like you. If others see you as higher value, you wont even need to try. Other will like you and want you to like them, so they'll make conversations easy, and very enjoyable.
Being an introvert myself, you're better off not setting any sort of expectations. When expectations are not set, you'll more than likely surprise others when they find out more about you. When someone discovers something on their own, it has more of an impact on them. However something to keep in mind is just because you didn't set an expectation yourself doesn't mean other people won't create some sort of expectation, but it's usually a reasonable expectation. Overall it's better to be as normal as possible and just let others become curious about you, and even though they may create an expectation of you themselves, they'll only have themselves to blame if you don't meet the expectation they created.
People used to make me feel like a terrible person for being a introvert, saying "you need to be more talkative" or "why are you so quiet"! Then when I would try to speak up, I would get completely ignored! And that makes me want to talk less!😤😔
Right!!!
I have to say Courtney, I totally LOVE this video. Helk yes yes yes you made me feel so much better being an introvert. I’ll be watching this video over and over. Thank you for giving us introverts a voice
As an Introvert I really appreciate this so much Courtney. Thank you 🙏🏾
Being an introvert also has its downsides. I might be a good listener, but that comes with the baggage of not getting to open up to others as much, keeping thoughts and feelings bottled up for long periods of time. I value privacy and being alone so much that I have no friends. I'm loyal if I find someone I truly feel is worth that loyalty and trust, but I've also been single my whole life and reaching the point where finding a partner is becoming impossible. Loneliness is mentally crippling.
So despite being an introvert I tend to feel miserable very often, because I keep seeing all this material about how "great" introverts are and yet feel like I have failed to be great.
Me too I have my family but other then that I don’t have any friends since high school. I don’t do anything exciting and when people ask what you been up too I say nothing cause well I don’t do anything. It’s hard to find someone that wants to be with you I get close but no takers it can sometimes be depressing
@@ryans413 You guys need the red pill lol
@@ryans413same here, as a woman. Like my inner peace and comfort.
Awesome post Courtney. As an introvert, I have never had any interest or desire in having any social media. Doing so would be a disingenuous activity for me. How would you suggest clearing the stigma associated with having no social? The perception seems to be that not having social somehow means that you don't have friends...which is so far from the truth, but a common narrative. Thanks for the thought provoking post.
...or worse, you have something to hide.
@@Chaindriver That is exactly why I used the term stigma. "Put yourself out there or you must (or might) have something to hide." Or...perhaps for some social media, such as Facebook and Twitter and Instagram are seen as a waste of valuable time. I understand social media being used for profit (foodtruck, advertising, content creation, etc.) but find it impossible to justify allocation of time for shallow meaningless posts. I doubt that I am the only one that feels this way.
@@eriknealson4336 You're not. Social Media is a complete waste of meaningful time unless it's used in a Professional sense like Ms. Courtney's channel over here.
You explained these attractive introvert traits so well! Being observant and a good listener are the traits that really stood out to me.
She does a good job of correcting misconceptions and yet you still see people on the comment page still saying nonsense.
Love this. So many gems. Shows how many layers of knowledge you hold too Courtney. Also congrats. U are literally glowing. Idk who your man is but I’m sure he’s doing a terrific job lol.
Suggestion for all: Read the book “Quiet.” Best nonfiction book Ive read in last 15 years and there have been MANY. Great book on how introverts can thrive in a extroverted world.
Also, as for dating, it’s always initiating the convos that are the hardest. Other than that moment, I’m very comfortable in convo with anyone. My curiosity takes over (so there’s the active listening, Courtney! You’re so right tho. Everyone tells me how easy I am to talk to, etc. you nailed the characteristics.)
Initiating is so hard!!!
Introverts unite…SEPARATELY… in your own homes! 🙌🏽
I think introverts are very articulate and know how to communicate with different personalities or people who approach them with confidence.
As always, Courtney, great video! 🦋
Separately 🤣🤣
💯
I'm an introvert that likes to party but only for a hr then I'm done with it. I also think as an introvert I'm very logical in that if I don't make a connection with a woman at a party within an hour then I know that I'm not going to. While my other buddies will try all night.
I'm what I'd like to call an extroverted introvert. It's a weird and often complicated mix because I love being around people and I value the time I have to myself, yet I struggle with social anxiety. It really makes being out and about a little difficult. Add to that that I have Asperger's which is a form of autism, and while I am extremely high functioning, it oftentimes makes things a real Russian roulette rollercoaster. I'm very grateful for your content Courtney. Been subbed for a few days now and this is my first comment. Keep up the great work!
Great video Courtney. It took time, struggle and pain to finally see my strengths living as an introvert among extroverted friends. I never once thought I needed validation for being who I am, but seeing you list all of the things that I had to figure out for myself is really encouraging and empowering. Thanks for being awesome!
I consider myself someone who is outgoing but at the same time, I do value my alone time so I say that I am a bit of both extroverted and introverted. Although I'm usually someone who is calm, laid back, and easygoing there's some traits of me that are more on the introvert side and some traits of me that are on the extrovert side
That is the thing about me. I'm an introvert and I'll be leading the dancing and the shots at the party but I'm also the first one home watching Code Geass drinking a few beers I stole from the party. That actually literally happened I was at a party and was enjoying myself, but I wanted to get back in time for Code Geass that came on at 1 am.
In high school, I was an introvert. After I graduated and discovered alcohol, I became more extroverted. Once I quit drinking, I reverted to being an introvert. Funny how life comes full circle...
Well some people are assholes and if you add alcohol they become instant assholes! So your doin ok!
Same. Alcohol lower my inhibitions. Go figure.
@@IFYOUWANTITGOGETIT, thing was, though, the inhibitions weren't lowered only when I drank, but in all aspects of my life. The increased extroversion occurred even when I was sober...
Courtney thank you for making this video and it really helped alot of us including me! 🙂
Well said Courtney! I think I am an introvert in many aspects of my life, however put me in a room with people of similar interests, then I can really open up (such as meeting other photographers). Running my own business I have learned to be more extrovert with clients than I used to be when I was younger. However I don't have to seek attention in a room, just add something to the conversation now and then.
People are jealous of introverts they don’t understand how they can be happy by themselves without constant chatter and banter
Here is the thing I'm actually a better party animal and more fun to be around than most extroverts because I've watched so many Jim Carey and American Pie movies. However, I'd rather watch American Pie and drink a beer than go to a party in most cases so I'm sure I'm an introvert. That is what the extroverts can't understand. I'll go to a party and be the life of that party for an hour but I'm making it back to my house in time for my favorite Adult Swim shows.
@@zeaferjones1404 I never knew watching Jim Carey and American Pie movies was a prerequisite for being a good party animal 😅
@@RKO1988 It helps me.
We love you Courtney!
I love you guys!! thanks for being here!!
Thank you for being a content creator Courtney! 42yo, M, my challenge here is finding people that can ''live up to'' the quality of relationship an introvert brings to the table. (It sounds disrespectful, but I'm not) I was curious about what you had to say at the end of the video and it was not a surprise!! I've been in a relationship, but in a car ride while flirting, she literally said : 'You're mysterious, I like it, I can't figure you out, and it's weird but yeah...!'' I'm being me on my own, not pretending or trying to be something, and I understand that these traits are attractive, exactly like a person who says he/she attracted to intelligence...of course your are, and that does not make you intelligent...it's only one of the many usefulness of being smart, attracting people! 🙂 I'd really love to attract someone like me instead of a spectrum of Heard's type! Health-Happiness-Prosperity
I really appreciate your accurate depiction of introverts we are often thought of as a negative personality types and that’s so far from the truth a well rounded introvert makes a great friend and spouse.
To me introverts are more humble and I feel I can trust them more. Extroverts to me come off as sales person, telling you just what you want to hear to like them.
I am an extrovert... but shout out to all the introverts! You have a place in society too.
❤️ there’s room for everyone to win!
Our place is to just sit in the corner and stay quiet, never speak unless spoken to and never start a conversation or engage with anyone.
@@Kickback-dm7zt Introverts can definitely start a conversation. Build some muscle, dress well, smell good and start a conversation every now and then.
God Bless.
@@jayguti9658 I already do all you say and it's pointless.
I feel that your whole video is on point Courtney. Again.
Thank you for posting such a great video! I am introvert to the max. This video help understand who I am!
Of corse finding and keeping a girlfriend had been difficult to say the least...
Thanks again for a great video! Keep them coming!
The biggest misconception is that introverts and shy are the same.
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I'm an introvert that is usually the guy leading the party. However, like Courtney says hanging out with my friends can be tiring. In fact, I've told my friends that I'm tired and they are like, "why all we did was go to the club for a few hours."
@@zeaferjones1404 I get yelled at by my twin brother because I chose to speak to one person who was sober instead of the other people who were wasted.. he is an extrovert and also a narcissist
@@janpauledwarddedios5366 Although I try to be more outgoing and confident. I try to not be a narcissist.
@@zeaferjones1404 yeah I go out with my buddies but definitely a highly selective group.
Attractive to whom, a small minority of women who understand that in today's framework, being an introvert isn't much of a practical issue?
Then again, what's the point, even if you find one that does find you attractive (kind of nearly impossible for an introvert anyway) and is not repulsed by your introvertedness, these women might have different red flags or the same as the others so i ask again rhetorically, what's the point for an introvert to try.
Fake hopes mostly only lead to disappointment and depression.
Introverted men don’t seem as desirable in the USA to most women. Too much assumptions that you’re boring.
Women always give advice after the fact. Being an introvert is only attractive if you are physically attractive. Same for bad boys, they are only desired when they are attractive to begin with
@@Dj.D25 Exactly even though that's not the entire story, it's a biological trait, increased chances of survival because you know a lot of people, especially if you are decent to them or have status and women love to have unlimited options especially when it comes to survival, of course these days as i said before, this isn't as much as an issue but what can you do for biologically driven traits, people are still nearly the same if not entirely the same in these aspects when it comes to instincts.
We’re introverts, not mutants?!
This is great advice for me. I've always thought being an introvert is not an attractive quality. Still an introvert, but I have a lot more confidence now that I"m older. Thank you
Courtney I feel that what you are saying here is 100% accurate. As I watched this it made me feel as if you were describing me because I hate boring surface level conversations so much and I also prefer to listen and to observe my surroundings. People I serve at work also tell me that I'm the most patient person they've met after they see how I stay non-reactive towards the uptight customers that get on my co-workers last nerves
We did it boys!!! We in season🤣🤣🤣
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It’s introvert szn 😎
People like being complimented, so every comment on a video like this is positive. However, who said that introverts are better listeners or observers just because we don't talk a lot? Maybe we don't give a damn either?! And who said that we always use our alonetime to self-improve? Introversion isn't a superpower, it's a preference.
Enjoyed this video. One challenge I find for myself is that I often catch up in conversations after the Workday, and my ability to be a great listener is reduced. If anyone has that same issue, unplug from everything that day and reconnect when it's a good time for you with that person.
It's a great thing that I am an introvert. You're the best Courtney!
As an introvert (with a severe case of RBF) I often get ostracized initially by new people. That being said, when people finally give me a chance, a lot of the time they'll come to me when they need an ear to bend for conversation that has depth and meaning and not surface level small talk.
I'm starting my first bartending job this coming month. Even if I need time to myself, I'm looking forward to trying out a position that requires constant interaction with others.
I recently started bartending (I’m introverted) and you have to be “on” all the time. The difference from serving and bartending is that as a server you can fake it for a short 30 sec interaction at a table but at the bar you have to be “on” all the time.It’s the service industry after all and it’s all about giving people an experience. You get really good at bullshitting with people. I have a lot of fun conversations with regulars and other patrons. You’ll hear some weird things for sure. Have fun with it and don’t forget to smile.
@@Starkilly2k I'll take your advice to heart, thank you. I've been in the lime light quite a bit and having to be "on", being a vocalist for a metal band playing at some decent sized venues and other musical performances.
It's something I've always wanted to do, met a really cool bartender at a young age who made an impression on me.
I have trouble smiling though, I know it's something I need to work on lol 😅
RBF?
For me, beeing an introvert always felt like a disadvantage. I usually lost to extroverts when it came to attracting women. I was titled as arrogant, nerdy and strange. Acting as an extrovert was much easier. Beautiful women, extrovert or introvert, will attract men to make a try. Its harder to have interactions with women if you are a male introvert, because women rarely make the first step. And if you are not lucky beeing part of a compatible group of people you feel safe with, its even harder to meet new people. The ideal picture of an introvert indeed might be very attractive.
Everything you said is so true! I´m definitely an introvert and when I was younger I was shy and didn´t have enough confidence. Now, I sometimes feel like I am an ambivert. Where there are times that I´m with my friends having an awesome time and talking all time, but most of the time I´m to myself doing my own thing.
Thanks! you got insights and it is amazing that you offer all this for free!