As an introvert, I did not get to go on my first date until I was 26; struck out every time before that. I'm a quiet homebody, in bed by 7:30pm even on the weekends and love my quiet time. I asked out a girl who I thought was "completely out of my league pretty" (I call her my modern-day Marilyn Monroe) because I just decided to take the risk one day one more time. No cheesy pick up lines and no cheesy macho approach. I probably came off as a 1950s nerd asking her out politely and simply. Amazingly she said Yes. By shear luck, we had similar personalities and likes/dislikes and similar ambitions for later in life. Three years of dating later we were married and 19 years later we are still married. How did I use my introverted personality? I really have no idea. I often wonder how I got so lucky. I once asked her why she said yes to a date when I'd heard there were other guys at work wanting to court her. She simply said nobody else ever asked her out; which amazed me, I guess it's true that girls who are too pretty sometimes never get asked. And, that I asked her nicely...she emphasized the "I asked her nicely" part. The rest I think was luck that we were well matched. I never put on a show that I was something more or did anything to try to impress her. I just talked to her, respected her (just be polite and friendly to not only her but everyone...she can tell if you are sincere or not) and took her out to do things I liked to do and that I normally did (again, no flashy dates that were outside of my daily routine/life of things I normally did)....and....I didn't focus on or hit on her prettiness or on sex (months of dating before getting around to the intimate part, hey, the getting to know each other by talking was working well). And well, she liked that. Money was not an issue. Back then she was making $27,000/yr and I was making $18,000/yr, so she didn't date me for my money....we worked at the same employer. But she knew that I had ambition and drive to do better in the future and so she stayed with me and I eventually did substantially better. An interesting note, I proposed to her after 2 years of dating. And when I proposed, she said Yes and said that it was about time as she was ready to say Yes six months earlier and was getting close to giving up on me. I never saw the signs that she was ready earlier. Of course you are probably wondering if I'm still married why am I watching this? Because I like to learn about different things on self-improvement and UA-cam makes that easy; I don't need or adopt all the advise, but it's interesting none the less. My advice as an introvert who isn't good at conversation to start (I'm not a quick thinker on my feet and need time to absorb and analyze details before going further), think of basic probing questions to ask on the first date. Then go home, and write some notes down. On later dates, think about what she said and look at your notes on the previous dates and then pre-write/remember deeper follow up questions. For example, if on the first date you find out she likes to snowboard, after asking about how long and where she likes to go, you start asking much deeper questions about why she likes it, what's that deep drive inside of her that makes that fun and interesting and you ask the right, sincere, meaningful questions you get her thinking introspectively about herself. My wife found that attractive as by the second date other guys she had dated were more focused on her boobs at that point.
Well said, great advice, and proof that these things do work out if you stay true to yourself and not try to be someone you’re not in hopes of landing “the one”….thanks for sharing.
I have found being an introvert has taught me to better understand people, their struggles and motivations. I also developed a strong sense of empathy towards others as well.
@@derrick2251 RC is an in-your-face narcissist. A lot of men these days need a boost of the dark triad juice to dispel their inner Nice Guy, but they shouldn’t get too carried away with it. RC is almost as insufferable as his pal, Rollo… another wild narcissist.
1. listening to others, curiosity 2. Always consider the matter carefully 3. Independent, Know yourself, this also makes it easier for you to understand the other person 4. know how to use body language
I hear ya - UwU! Great tips - by Courtney! And speaking of “Introverts…” Sigma Males are also Introverts - and they tend to do great with women! It seems like a Sigma Male is the guy to be - they get the best of both worlds. They’re not Beta Males, and they’re not necessarily Alpha Males either. They’re sort of in the middle. They’re kind of Introverts, because they don’t want to be distracted by other people’s thoughts and views all the time. They know what they want out of life, and they’re focused - and they wake up each morning ready, and they put their whole mind to it! Anyway, that’s my two cents. -Carlos Verde - Dating Tips
I’m an introvert. I only talk to a person one on one or a small group. I can get shy around a large group of people. I am selective who I bring into my life. I think introverts are more genuine and extroverts just want attention.
As an Introvert it is difficult, I've been told my "tiredness" after a day out is just an excuse to leave/escape and go home, to which some think that means I don't care or I'm not interested. I guess the key is to find someone who understands how introverts work cause they can be massively misunderstood.
I think the key thing irrespective of personality type is, To find someone that actually wants to know the other person. And to know them so deeply (be "in tune" with them) that they can start to feel what the other person is feeling..... when they start to feel it. When both parties do this it is really beautiful, Imagine an extravert and introvert (who are dating) go to a party, It starts to get "a bit late" and the introvert is "done", the extrovert senses this and actually suggest to the introvert that they should look to head off soon. And the reverse is also true, that the introvert though "done" can sense that the extrovert is having a good time and so puts off suggesting to leave.
You either need to be wealthy, be in the top 5% of male looks, or have a really stand out attractive personality to get anywhere with women these days.. I hope you have 1 of the other 2 qualifications...
Good points. I was pretty introverted in high school and part of college. Being an introvert as a guy is a major issue with dating. However, I did push myself to become more social and now I'm more of an ambivert. In the end, you can use some of your listening skills to enhance your dating experiences, but you still need to do more than usual compared to someone who is a natural extrovert
I am an introvert by nature and I don't regret it. It helps me to package myself very well, being kind, sincere and truthful in all my dealings with people. Although some insincere, untrustworthy and negative minded people see it as a weakness and take undue advantage of it. However, posterity eventually makes me a winner all the time.
As an introvert, this video made me feel understood and validated. In an extrovert-centric society, we are often overlooked and oftentimes think we are wrong for being the way we are when that is not the case. We have many strengths that extroverts do not, especially when it comes to dating. If you are an introvert, be true to your introversion and do not try to be more extroverted. You are the way you are for a reason. Just be yourself; you will find someone who will enjoy being with you because of who you are.
I definitely felt that reading the room moment the other night. I joined some coworkers to a Karaoke Bar. I really like singing, but I've never sung at Karaoke. Never liked the bar scene. Also most of the songs I know are show tunes, joke songs, or old songs ranging from drunken sailor, battle hymn of the republic, or 1950s big band songs. Most of the songs being sung were more modern and I thought it would be weird if I sang something really old. Well I noticed non of my coworkers were brave enough to go do Karaoke themselves and I figured since I like singing I should go up there and do it, but what really inspired me was seeing all the couples in the bar. Particularly one couple a table over who seemed really into each other. I had one song that would really fit with what I was seeing. So I overcame any anxiety I asked the DJ to play the song when I came up. When it finally was my turn I started singing "That's Amore" by Dean Martin and the bar just lit up. People cheered some got up and started dancing. When I was finished I got a lot of compliments, the DJ had a big smile and looked really impressed and the lady from that couple a table over complimented and gave me a thumbs up. Have to admit it was a real ego boost for me that night. Looking back I think a mix of being a really unexpected, but well known and a very fun song along with the fact I knew how to sing the song well is why it was such a hit with the crowd. I don't think I would have picked that song if it wasn't for being able to look around and read the room.
It also helps for the person dating a Introvert to speak up too. What I mean by that is to maybe talk about a topic you like too. A lot of the time, I'm the one having to carry a conversation, I'll speak on things, but I hate carrying it. Like you said at the start, it's mostly due to social anxiety and a lot of people don't ever give any time to to talk. The reason why things turn into small talk.
Great video! The “do not rush” part definitely resonates with me more than the others. Sometimes I feel like silence in conversations is likely to kill the mood. The longer or more frequent it becomes, the less interesting the convo. But after watching your video, it’s a great reminder to not feel rushed to make a conversation as exciting as possible compared to those of extroverts with little to no pauses. It will flow naturally; all it takes is confidence and practice. Thanks!
I'm just glad you're running a UA-cam channel in general. I'm getting sick of other girls who try to run similar channels but do it for the views or attention. You give good advice & even some tough love when necessary. I found your channel about a week ago, & already found myself bench watching most of your videos. Only to find out I had already been doing a lot of things you mentioned, but I still have some work to do. I'm in the process now of hopefully getting together with this girl I meet years ago, I don't know how she's still a good girl, but I know girls like her are hard to find. Thank you for your hard work & time you put on this channel, & thank you for being classy.
From one introvert to another, preciate you Court! Focusing on my career and other priorities as I’m 24 and 3 months out of college, is important to me long before I think about putting a woman in my life.
Happy Friday, Courtney! I would consider myself both an extrovert and introvert as I'm outgoing with people but I definitely embrace my privacy. When I don't know someone well, I'm definitely going to be more introverted but as I get to know them, I will feel more comfortable to see if they're worth trusting or keep at distance. My girlfriend and I are totally different from each other but it evens out as it's a good balance between her and I
Thank you for doing a video on this subject. As an introvert myself, and single, I haven't been out on the dating scene lately. Yet, I remain in that constant state of self-improvement, and I do hope that I meet a high-quality lady someday that is also in a self-improvement mode as well. Because after all, if you want high quality, you have to be high quality.
When I found out what an introvert was I remember thinking” 🤔 oh that’s why I find myself yawning at 7pm at dinners with huge groups of friends or just wanting to get back to reading my book when I was at parties lol”
Oh man! That just happened to me over the weekend. I can take large groups but for only a short period of time. I'm INFJ personality so it can be super strange for me.
i like how so many people here claim to be an introvert then they said i practiced and now im an extrovert !! dude u cant become an extrovert with any practice , you can only become more social !
I needed this video. I'm an introvert & found myself constantly overthinking situations & and getting out of my character(clingy). Taking a break from dating & social media, so I can learn more about myself and become a better man. Thanks Courtney 😊😊
Awesomeness! Thanks for posting this! As an introvert, I can't handle too many people at once. So when I was with those 3 girls for 4th of July, I definitely was in my zone, relaxed, having fun, no pressure or anxiety
Thank you! I actually had a girl drop by going door to door for voter registration. She told me I had pretty eyes and naturally, I was being playful and we were talking about our dogs
Another good video. I agree with a lot of these points, especially the selectiveness which got my very extroverted friend confused. One point that I agreed with was the slowing down of the conversation, which when I've done it had a lot of women in my area confuse with disinterest.
First off I've been watching a lot of your videos on UA-cam and your mindset is so mature and easy going! I am currently going through a divorce and watching your videos has opened my eyes to a lot that was going on in the relationship not only on her side but on my own as well. I'm certainly going to be looking for so many of the things you explained in my next relationship whenever that time comes and your relaxed way of expressing it all made it all really easy to understand and sort of engrave into my head. Thank you for your dedication to spreading the word!
This video described majority of my dating life to a tee as I'm someone who is very patient and doesn't rush into anything when it comes to relationships. I'm very selective about what I want, and whenever I'm on dates with women I give just enough to keep them intrigued yet keep the cards close to my chest and allow the woman to find out things about me over time.
Never considered you to be an introvert, but if you get hives you definitely are. You're very inspiring. Thanks for coming out and expressing your honest self.
I really appreciate your insight on being an introvert and how to utilize your strengths as an introvert. As one I will say it can be very challenging in many scenarios and especially dating. And like you said, it's sometimes more exhausting to do the "small talk thing" than it is to have a more deep/heartfelt conversation. It's good to know I'm not the only one that thinks this way. Sometimes I feel like an alien lol. Thank you for what you are doing with your channel Courtney! You really are making a difference. Keep up the good work! God bless you.
I can relate to this in several areas of my life . I'm dreading working from a large centre when my local office closes in a few months the staff are not as friendly as the local office I work at. I appreiciate what you have say and can relate to it. Thanks for reminding me of the better traits of being an introvert .
Appreciate your courage to share how you get nervous also and had hives for one of your first videos. It takes balls to share something like that but it also shows character as not many are willing to admit they have fear or anxiety and let's others know they may not be that different if they have fear.
Being a introvert is never really easy, as it can be challenging to deal with. However I thought just be yourself and be the best you can be. That all that anyone one can do.
Really liked this one. Being an introvert allows me to create stronger bonds and to be very selective when it comes to create connections and relations with others. I wasn't considering being an introvert a good thing but I have learned the advantages and the strongest points of this trait. Thank you Courtney for covering this topic, it was brilliant!
As an introvert my biggest challenge is securing a date, my biggest strength is the actual date. In a way this is the better problem to have. I taught myself to be more assertive and this paired with my sympathy I find is a really attractive combination to women. (Eg. I'll plan the whole date, and take care of everything including parking. Meanwhile giving her options and asking for her input) I'm also naturally very curious about how things work, including understanding who people truely are. This takes form in me asking engaging and unique questions, making the conversations exciting and flow easy. What I'm really doing is updating the model I have of the other person lol I'm quite observant and analytical so I'm able to quickly understand people. I notice small details and information they tell me to draw inferences that are often correct. This usually results in them feeling comfortable, feelings of chemistry and familiarity. Basically if you're a nerd like me you can apply your critical thinking into exploring who your date really is and this naturally results in it going very well.
Same here -- so far I like pretty much everything I have in her model, my one and only big question so far is how tolerant she will be of our religious differences!
I’m 36, male, introvert but I’m not shy. I can be very social. I can talk to an entire room full of people especially women. My beef with being introverted is that my “social/emotional battery” gets drained. This requires me to more-or-less pull out of the public eye and “recharge” it’s mandatory. If I don’t respect this self-maintenance requirement, my mental health suffers and many times I have neglected this need to recharge for self care and have ended up with depression/anxiety. It took me many years to understand and realize that I was introverted and being introverted required unique self-care and maintenance. And yes, this has and will negatively impact my relationship with women because humans are social creatures and they need to socialize and connect emotionally. It’s hard to do this with introverts who can become burnt out from over-socializing even with a significant other. It’s unfair to have to deal with this.
I’m actually not introverted but I do watch these videos to help relate to my girlfriend who is. It’s definitely a good learning opportunity and I think it helps me be closer to her.
This actually made me feel a lot better about certain qualities of mine, it was a real confidence boost. You're so awesome Courtney, thank you so much for what you're doing. It has really helped me a lot just in the last few short weeks that I've started watching your content.
I identified myself as an introvert for way too long… Just like I don’t believe in “morning people” and “night owls,” I also don’t think there are “introverts” and “extroverts” You absolutely have a natural inclination to one of the other, but the environment you place yourself in will shape you into one or the other I used to work as an engineer and exhibited all the “introvert” characteristics… then I quit my job to do real state sales It was VERY uncomfortable, but I believed in myself and that I could adapt in order to succeed And by the way, I make way more money as a real state salesman than I did as an engineer
Unfortunately for you, the difference between introverts and extroverts is real. And it's based on the different ways their neurophysiology works. In other words, your brain is wired one way or another, so you can't just switch between them. So, trying to pursue a career which doesn't suit your type can be lucrative, but it will increase your stress level and, most likely, will make your life miserable.
@@сырпошехонский You can adapt and succeed in any career if you believe in yourself. And that’s not just woo woo spiritual mysticism. That’s what the whole book “the Biology of Belief” is about. I’d recommend it if you like reading.
I am an introvert and this video really shows that she knows what she is talking about, im not exactly shy and im definetly at my strongest when in a 1 on 1 conversation, but my problem is getting there, how to get a date? Dating apps are not working, bars are not really my thing and i dont feel comfortable forcing myself to start a new hobby i dont like just to meet women.
I love going out to the park. But sometimes I prefer not to because everytime I do it, all I see is couples. And I think to myself: I would like so much to have a girl in my life who wants to spend moments like that with me as much as I want to. Walk together, lay down on the grass and talk for hours, eat ice-cream... It just makes me sad. Not angry, not resentful. Just sad. Why can't I have something like that ? Why does it seems like everyone can, but I can't ? I know it's not a matter of physycal attractiveness because a lot of those guys are average, just like me. I hate sitting on a bench and eat my ice-cream alone every week, but I just don't know what to do. Everytime I think I have met a girl who may be interested in me, it turns out at the end that she wasn't. Or she didn't want anything serious. I just don't know what to do. I fear one day I will wake up having 30yo feeling as lonely as I feel today.
A positive video about introverts, but being painfully shy, having social anxiety all my life is not a positive thing, as commented previously I've tried NLP, CBT, group therapy, one to one talking therapy, reading self help books, breathing techniques and all have worked a bit but I've just got to live with the condition, I have had quite a few girlfriends but have been single for more than twenty years now, women get bored very easily and give up if you're not the outgoing type with fascinating conversation.
Being an introvert is a lot harder as a guy I think. Many women look to men to lead the energy and generate the spark on the date (and pull them into a positive vibe), and if you don't have the energy it can be an awkward uncomfortable date for both parties.
Hi, Courtney. I want to extend a big THANK YOU for your videos. A couple of months ago, my wife and I separated after more than years 6-years of struggle. Though I believe she could have done more to make the relationship work, I've learned from watching your videos that I could have done MUCH more. There's been so much I've learned from you - so many things I wish I would have known years ago that could have likely made my marriage better. After having watched your videos, I have more hope (and I think much better style). I don't know if my wife and I will make it but, regardless, I'm making significant progress in how I present myself, and I'm excited to see where that will take me. Don't know if you've ever thought about providing your knowledge to a high school class, but I think students need to hear your words while they're young-"ish". Thank you!
Thank you Courtney! Being an outgoing introvert helps me be more authentic. Standing next to the woman I would like to meet, I often got tongue-tied. I'm ok with that now and just make small talk just to make a start......and take it from there.
Women will not consider introverts to be "mysterious" unless the introvert is hot. If you're a not-hot introvert, then women will see you as boring. Unfair? Yes. Are women fair? No. Are women logical? No.
I don’t see many advantages to being introverted as a guy when it comes to dating. But I have used it to my advantage in my career/business. In meetings, I’m good at listening and not feeling the need to always be the loudest in the room constantly talking. When I do speak, I make sure I’m saying something of value, which ironically has people leaving the meeting thinking I spoke more than I did since everything I said was relevant and added value
Did you see the video she made maybe 6 weeks ago? It was all about how being an introvert is actually a great thing? Really really good video, you should check it out!
I miss some things cause you talk too fast for me, but I get almost everything. Great channel, really helps, many thanks. Exactly what I've been searching for.
Stumbled across a few of your videos, Big ups to you. Especially for this one, I'd say I'm an introvert. You are definitely doing a service for all of us out here big UPS to you again May life continue to bless you
I'm 46 and I'm more ambiverted these days but naturally I'm a introvert.. I still don't like big crowds and a big homebody. I'm perceived as "boring" by most women. I'm silly, goofy, friendly and mild manneted but I'm also direct, assertive. and no nonsense. I think my personality throws people off. I get them comfortable being them and they show their true colors, cause they think I'm weak...when I give that same energy back I'm labeled as "mean". I've dated here and there for 21 years... my problem isnt meeting women, it just never lasts very long after meeting them. Been single that long too. I'm 46. I'm at a point now where I'm happy being on my own.. I've learned to love it...now I don't care about meeting anyone lol.
@@Lordran__ thanks for taking the time out to read it. I know it's kinda long...just thought it might be people similar to me and too let them know it's OK to be single, don't have to follow society's standards of happiness.
Ill be in the same boat when I’m your age brother. Some guys just have it. Others dont. I’m one of the ones that dont, and I’m perfectly fine with that
Great tips! And speaking of “Introverts…” Sigma Males are also Introverts - and they tend to do great with women! It seems like a Sigma Male is the guy to be - they get the best of both worlds. They’re not Beta Males, and they’re not necessarily Alpha Males either. They’re sort of in the middle. They’re kind of Introverts, because they don’t want to be distracted by other people’s thoughts and views all the time. They know what they want out of life, and they’re focused - and they wake up each morning ready, and they put their whole mind to it! Anyway, that’s my two cents. -Carlos Verde - Dating Tips
In Life certain things we can't do that we want to do has nothing to do like dating or social interaction has more to do with FEAR than being an introvert or other personality traits, fear of the unknown, of judgement or criticism or leaving your comfort zone, anyone can truly learn to be outgoing, talk to people, be charming and charismatic because they are skills that can be taught and learnt but if you're too afraid to take a step then Nothing would change.
I'm an introvert myself and I have been single my entire life (I'm 31 currently), although I've had my share of crushes and experiences with others that were pretty close to relationships (currently dealing with the latest heartbreak regarding that. I'll be fine.) I've watched a number of Courtney's videos in hopes to figure out things and what I can do to improve and this is the first one I'm commenting on. One thing that I definitely should work on is slowing down. I probably decide my feelings too quickly, even if they feel true to me. And things that seem like small steps to me, like meeting up for lunch or hanging out, may not be simple for everyone and I should work on that. One thing I somewhat disagree with is that, although I identify as an introvert, I actually really like small talk. I like hearing about someone's day and what their family are up to and what they have coming up during the week. I don't need the conversation to be some nuanced philosophical discussion. I'm fine with conversations that aren't going to enrich my brain. Like this video stated, I know what I want, though I have an even better understanding now. I also think I understand now that I should chill out more. I've been a bit more edgy lately and I'm continuing to work on that. In these recent years, I've realized that sometimes the only way to "do better" is to do better with someone else rather than trying to repair something with someone. On the other hand, James Arnold Taylor once said that you don't have to reconcile with someone to forgive them. I think this goes for both sides. Anyway, thanks for making these videos Courtney, and I will continue to do my best and hope that it will one day be enough for someone while I rebuild my being okay with being by myself.
I am an introvert. But i think i am also shy. I don’t think my introversion gets in the way. Once i get comfortable around someone, I’ll talk.. and I’m really smart. I have spent a lot of time learning psychology and sociology. Ill make the conversation engaging and reflective. I think my shyness is my problem. I was bullied a lot in school growing up. I was a fat kid with autism. I was socially awkward and got picked on by family, friends, and girls.. I learned to be quiet and shy by getting rejected/made fun of over and over again. the fear of rejection can hurt so much more than the rejection itself. I’m self aware if my issues. I gotta talk more. People flirt with me all the time, and I quickly look away because i get anxious. It’s not a lack of confidence. It’s more like a self esteem issue. And words of affirmations to trick your brain is such foolish thinking. You’re picking up an ideal to fool yourself that you are a worthy human being. It’s just wishful thinking. I just need to expose myself. Let people see me.
Quiet people always know more than they seem. Although very normal, their inner world is by default fronted mysterious and therefore assumed weird. Never underestimate the social awareness and sense of reality in a quiet person; they are some of the most observant, absorbent persons of all.
People said I am introvert because I don’t speak in public or in a big group. However, I can talk to strangers or my dates for an hour easily and not sure if I am not still introvert.
As a shy, introverted guy with social anxiety and battling depression, I thought I was doomed to be alone forever because I could not approach women and talk to them. But after over 10 years of searching, I finally found a woman who could overlook those problems I had. Thank God for internet dating sites where my social anxiety and shyness did not holding me back from contacting women online and talking to them. Real life first meeting was the hard part, but after over a month of talking, I was prepared and it went well. Glad I did not give up.
A social anxiety video wood be great. I am a hardcore introvert, probably in the social anxiety spectrum and small talk for me is agonizing, going mgtow for the solitude and not having to interact it seems.
We have advantages as introverts, we observe people for better and worse very accurately and we don't pursue easily leading others to pursue us and giving us standards, boundaries, and thus quality
I'm different from most other introverts then apparently as I have NO ISSUES with confrontation. Confrontation and conflict are not synonymous, but they are often easily confused. I don't care one bit what anyone thinks, if someone says something that is WAY off base from the truth, I will tell them that as well as why that is. I try not to do so in an inherently disrespectful or "rude" way or with too much animation/emotion, but if their level of authority renders them contextually irresponsible, that certainly could be a part of the examination as well. If someone is acting in a way or in belief of something which is *objectively dishonorable/disrespectful,* I don't care very much about their emotion or my own when I tell them what they've done. Emotion as a whole is practically an invalid factor regardless, yet so many people still think it is the end-all be-all of what makes a person. Too many want to *_self-identity_* themselves as "empaths" these days, and the irony of that reality is quite hilarious to me. If someone values emotion over truth, then their emotions are TRULY baseless. Truth is NOT controlled by emotion, it's vice versa.
People say women don't give good advice to men for dating, and i find your advice better then alot of people who say said. Keep it up! More power to you!
Yeah, there many people who think that are introverts, but are really just shy, lack confidence, and suck at socializing, and try to use that as an excuse. Similar to how someone might try to convince themselves that they have adhd when they probably don't and just want to excuse their crappy habits. It wasn't till I improved most aspects of myself, getting healthier, improving my social kills, and gaining confidence, that I truly knew I was an introvert
@@brentleask3877 Well first thing's first: don't be worried about any of it (as much as is possible right now). Strange as it may seem, but social anxiousness and introversion can both be attractive to women as long as you're genuine in your interactions. I'd say you should work on your social anxiety however you can but it may even go away to an extent or even fully simply through socialization. As far as introversion is concerned, I don't think that's a problem at all unless it's to an extent where you hate social activities or talking to people, in which case you've strayed into antisocial territory.
I want to talk to you about a situation with an ex involving human trafficking, drug dealing, prostitution, and how I knew about NONE of it while I was “dating” her for a year and a half. Please, this is very important and I would love some guidance.
I consider myself a very extraverted introvert. I don't see it as much with dating, but definitely in my day to day life I have way better interactions with people I see on a daily. In my line of work this is very important.
Listening is something that most people overlook these days because so much attention is placed on forcing your perspective onto other people and thinking of the next thing to say without actually acknowledging what other people have contributed. If we spent more of our time listening rather than talking, we'd come out of a conversation learning so much more than if our intention was to one up or impress the other person.
I guess , we as introvert persons, what we got to do is go on with our targets mainly before putting woman, none woman go want you if you don't build your own destiny first as a man. That's stuffs are what define us. Thx Courtney every time more cute in the videos.
Forgot to mention that he shall be tall and physically attractive. If yes, then it doesn't matter if he is an extrovert or introvert, women will come up with any reason why it is good. If he is not attractive, the same qualities will be perceived as bad.
I'm going to keep repeating myself to every guy that brings this up. Not every woman cares if your tall! I'm 5.2 I prefer guys closer to my height. I am attracted to guys that also wear glasses. And I would date someone shorter or even in a wheelchair. Because what matters is who you are as a person. Same with money I don't care how much you have! Just have a stable job and pay your bills on time to show you handle your money wisely. Every one is a 10 to someone. 🖖🌺
As an introvert you have to try a bit harder with girls because you can be a little less noticeable from the jump in social interactions (unless you're very good looking of course - which makes everything easier). You are probably better off approaching and engaging girls one on one away from the hub-hub of say, a party. Another trick is to have an extrovert friend as a wingman and go hit up girl couples. Often these girl couples have a similar dynamic. Thereafter be interesting, introspective and curious - these are often introvert traits anyway. Try and relax and let tone and body language speak also.
Personality types go across the board. Some grow up shy and introspective, and later become more extroverted as they get more friends and become more social. Hard to say how much the 2 traits could overlap in some people. Extroverts can have a shy introverted side too. I know there are pure versions of both, but I feel like I have some of both traits. I'm introspective, but not a true introvert or extrovert.
"A wise man speaks because he has something to say. A fool speaks because he has to say something." - Plato
Love this!
good speech is silver, silence is golden.
@@drpg4ever823 Duct tape is also silver. 😉😄
Deep.
"Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak up and remove all doubt." -Abraham Lincoln.
As an introvert, I did not get to go on my first date until I was 26; struck out every time before that. I'm a quiet homebody, in bed by 7:30pm even on the weekends and love my quiet time. I asked out a girl who I thought was "completely out of my league pretty" (I call her my modern-day Marilyn Monroe) because I just decided to take the risk one day one more time. No cheesy pick up lines and no cheesy macho approach. I probably came off as a 1950s nerd asking her out politely and simply. Amazingly she said Yes. By shear luck, we had similar personalities and likes/dislikes and similar ambitions for later in life. Three years of dating later we were married and 19 years later we are still married. How did I use my introverted personality? I really have no idea. I often wonder how I got so lucky. I once asked her why she said yes to a date when I'd heard there were other guys at work wanting to court her. She simply said nobody else ever asked her out; which amazed me, I guess it's true that girls who are too pretty sometimes never get asked. And, that I asked her nicely...she emphasized the "I asked her nicely" part. The rest I think was luck that we were well matched. I never put on a show that I was something more or did anything to try to impress her. I just talked to her, respected her (just be polite and friendly to not only her but everyone...she can tell if you are sincere or not) and took her out to do things I liked to do and that I normally did (again, no flashy dates that were outside of my daily routine/life of things I normally did)....and....I didn't focus on or hit on her prettiness or on sex (months of dating before getting around to the intimate part, hey, the getting to know each other by talking was working well). And well, she liked that. Money was not an issue. Back then she was making $27,000/yr and I was making $18,000/yr, so she didn't date me for my money....we worked at the same employer. But she knew that I had ambition and drive to do better in the future and so she stayed with me and I eventually did substantially better. An interesting note, I proposed to her after 2 years of dating. And when I proposed, she said Yes and said that it was about time as she was ready to say Yes six months earlier and was getting close to giving up on me. I never saw the signs that she was ready earlier. Of course you are probably wondering if I'm still married why am I watching this? Because I like to learn about different things on self-improvement and UA-cam makes that easy; I don't need or adopt all the advise, but it's interesting none the less. My advice as an introvert who isn't good at conversation to start (I'm not a quick thinker on my feet and need time to absorb and analyze details before going further), think of basic probing questions to ask on the first date. Then go home, and write some notes down. On later dates, think about what she said and look at your notes on the previous dates and then pre-write/remember deeper follow up questions. For example, if on the first date you find out she likes to snowboard, after asking about how long and where she likes to go, you start asking much deeper questions about why she likes it, what's that deep drive inside of her that makes that fun and interesting and you ask the right, sincere, meaningful questions you get her thinking introspectively about herself. My wife found that attractive as by the second date other guys she had dated were more focused on her boobs at that point.
We're in different times now, social media she would have guys lined up to take her out
Thank you for sharing! This is a pleasant read
@@heruvey87 Bingo
Well said, great advice, and proof that these things do work out if you stay true to yourself and not try to be someone you’re not in hopes of landing “the one”….thanks for sharing.
@@chiefbrody2173 lmao what. this is awful advice. its 2022 she would have had 1000 guys asked her out an message her on tinder/ig/facebook.
I have found being an introvert has taught me to better understand people, their struggles and motivations. I also developed a strong sense of empathy towards others as well.
read the unplugged alpha by rich. cooper
I can attest to this, I feel the same way.
@@RR-et6zp rich coop is a grifter
@@derrick2251 nope, its derived from evolutionary biology and backed by data in society, no surprise
@@derrick2251 RC is an in-your-face narcissist. A lot of men these days need a boost of the dark triad juice to dispel their inner Nice Guy, but they shouldn’t get too carried away with it. RC is almost as insufferable as his pal, Rollo… another wild narcissist.
1. listening to others, curiosity
2. Always consider the matter carefully
3. Independent, Know yourself, this also makes it easier for you to understand the other person
4. know how to use body language
I been using this to get to know an introverted female barista I am genuinely interested and curious about
read the unplugged alpha by rich. cooper
@@RR-et6zp Did you... just recommend a web novel? The title.sounds generic for them.
Being an introvert could be a blessing under disguise
🙌🏼
So true! 🙌💪
A "blessing" often only known by you.
I hear ya - UwU! Great tips - by Courtney!
And speaking of “Introverts…” Sigma Males are also Introverts - and they tend to do great with women!
It seems like a Sigma Male is the guy to be - they get the best of both worlds.
They’re not Beta Males, and they’re not necessarily Alpha Males either. They’re sort of in the middle.
They’re kind of Introverts, because they don’t want to be distracted by other people’s thoughts and views all the time.
They know what they want out of life, and they’re focused - and they wake up each morning ready, and they put their whole mind to it!
Anyway, that’s my two cents.
-Carlos Verde - Dating Tips
Definitely a blessing. I didn't always understand how but now it makes more sense.
I’m an introvert. I only talk to a person one on one or a small group. I can get shy around a large group of people. I am selective who I bring into my life. I think introverts are more genuine and extroverts just want attention.
I’m the same way!
Well even if you are an introvert in person, you definitely provide some great insights compounded with Courtney's
I like your last statement because I feel like that's so true. "I think introverts are more genuine and extroverts just want attention."
@@LatimusChadimus thanks
I am the same myself I get so nervous when I meet a large group of people.
As an Introvert it is difficult, I've been told my "tiredness" after a day out is just an excuse to leave/escape and go home, to which some think that means I don't care or I'm not interested. I guess the key is to find someone who understands how introverts work cause they can be massively misunderstood.
I think the key thing irrespective of personality type is,
To find someone that actually wants to know the other person.
And to know them so deeply (be "in tune" with them) that they can start to feel what the other person is feeling..... when they start to feel it.
When both parties do this it is really beautiful,
Imagine an extravert and introvert (who are dating) go to a party,
It starts to get "a bit late" and the introvert is "done", the extrovert senses this and actually suggest to the introvert that they should look to head off soon.
And the reverse is also true, that the introvert though "done" can sense that the extrovert is having a good time and so puts off suggesting to leave.
read the unplugged alpha by rich. cooper
You either need to be wealthy, be in the top 5% of male looks, or have a really stand out attractive personality to get anywhere with women these days.. I hope you have 1 of the other 2 qualifications...
@@michaelangst6078 Or look elsewhere :-)
Your best bet is to find another introvert like yourself!
Good points. I was pretty introverted in high school and part of college. Being an introvert as a guy is a major issue with dating. However, I did push myself to become more social and now I'm more of an ambivert. In the end, you can use some of your listening skills to enhance your dating experiences, but you still need to do more than usual compared to someone who is a natural extrovert
Thanks for sharing your experience!
"Natural extrovert".. I call BS here. In or extrovert is just a role you play for your own comfort. Get out of that comfortzone.
what is an ambivert?!
@@royalprince5696 basically means that you’re both depending on the circumstances. I’m the same way lolol
@@m.j.w. so you're gaining energy whether you're in a social setting or in private?
I am an introvert by nature and I don't regret it. It helps me to package myself very well, being kind, sincere and truthful in all my dealings with people. Although some insincere, untrustworthy and negative minded people see it as a weakness and take undue advantage of it. However, posterity eventually makes me a winner all the time.
As an introvert, this video made me feel understood and validated. In an extrovert-centric society, we are often overlooked and oftentimes think we are wrong for being the way we are when that is not the case. We have many strengths that extroverts do not, especially when it comes to dating. If you are an introvert, be true to your introversion and do not try to be more extroverted. You are the way you are for a reason. Just be yourself; you will find someone who will enjoy being with you because of who you are.
Love these points, especially how introverts don't rush. This leads to well thought-out conversations and dates. Thanks for this video!
Channel name! 😂👌
I definitely felt that reading the room moment the other night. I joined some coworkers to a Karaoke Bar. I really like singing, but I've never sung at Karaoke. Never liked the bar scene. Also most of the songs I know are show tunes, joke songs, or old songs ranging from drunken sailor, battle hymn of the republic, or 1950s big band songs. Most of the songs being sung were more modern and I thought it would be weird if I sang something really old. Well I noticed non of my coworkers were brave enough to go do Karaoke themselves and I figured since I like singing I should go up there and do it, but what really inspired me was seeing all the couples in the bar. Particularly one couple a table over who seemed really into each other. I had one song that would really fit with what I was seeing. So I overcame any anxiety I asked the DJ to play the song when I came up. When it finally was my turn I started singing "That's Amore" by Dean Martin and the bar just lit up. People cheered some got up and started dancing. When I was finished I got a lot of compliments, the DJ had a big smile and looked really impressed and the lady from that couple a table over complimented and gave me a thumbs up. Have to admit it was a real ego boost for me that night.
Looking back I think a mix of being a really unexpected, but well known and a very fun song along with the fact I knew how to sing the song well is why it was such a hit with the crowd. I don't think I would have picked that song if it wasn't for being able to look around and read the room.
It also helps for the person dating a Introvert to speak up too. What I mean by that is to maybe talk about a topic you like too. A lot of the time, I'm the one having to carry a conversation, I'll speak on things, but I hate carrying it. Like you said at the start, it's mostly due to social anxiety and a lot of people don't ever give any time to to talk. The reason why things turn into small talk.
So true, it's important for both people to initiate and carry on conversation!
Great video! The “do not rush” part definitely resonates with me more than the others. Sometimes I feel like silence in conversations is likely to kill the mood. The longer or more frequent it becomes, the less interesting the convo. But after watching your video, it’s a great reminder to not feel rushed to make a conversation as exciting as possible compared to those of extroverts with little to no pauses. It will flow naturally; all it takes is confidence and practice. Thanks!
I'm just glad you're running a UA-cam channel in general. I'm getting sick of other girls who try to run similar channels but do it for the views or attention. You give good advice & even some tough love when necessary. I found your channel about a week ago, & already found myself bench watching most of your videos. Only to find out I had already been doing a lot of things you mentioned, but I still have some work to do. I'm in the process now of hopefully getting together with this girl I meet years ago, I don't know how she's still a good girl, but I know girls like her are hard to find.
Thank you for your hard work & time you put on this channel, & thank you for being classy.
From one introvert to another, preciate you Court! Focusing on my career and other priorities as I’m 24 and 3 months out of college, is important to me long before I think about putting a woman in my life.
Woohoo! You got it 🙌🏼
If you are an attractive sigma male women will ask you out.
This is not a guarantee. It can be just as intimidating as any attractive woman is to you.
🙌🔥
@@ExpertPenguin The beauty of it is that sigma males don't care whether the chick approaches or not.
Happy Friday, Courtney! I would consider myself both an extrovert and introvert as I'm outgoing with people but I definitely embrace my privacy. When I don't know someone well, I'm definitely going to be more introverted but as I get to know them, I will feel more comfortable to see if they're worth trusting or keep at distance. My girlfriend and I are totally different from each other but it evens out as it's a good balance between her and I
Appreciated hearing your insights!
I'm sorry but u cant be both an introvert and extrovert , it doesnt work like that
That's the definition of being an ambivert. An ambivert can be outgoing and sociable at times but all needs alone time as well.
@@royalprince5696 yes you can
@@iamme25yago That would be more of an introvert thing, no?
Thank you for doing a video on this subject. As an introvert myself, and single, I haven't been out on the dating scene lately. Yet, I remain in that constant state of self-improvement, and I do hope that I meet a high-quality lady someday that is also in a self-improvement mode as well. Because after all, if you want high quality, you have to be high quality.
Agreed! 🙌🔥
I don't agree with more
read the unplugged alpha by rich. cooper
When I found out what an introvert was I remember thinking” 🤔 oh that’s why I find myself yawning at 7pm at dinners with huge groups of friends or just wanting to get back to reading my book when I was at parties lol”
😂 I completely relate!
Oh man! That just happened to me over the weekend. I can take large groups but for only a short period of time. I'm INFJ personality so it can be super strange for me.
read the unplugged alpha by rich. cooper
@@RR-et6zp I’ve seen his channel. He doesn’t seem happy to me.
This video speak to me exactly. Every point is something I do. Introvert through and through.
🙌🔥
i like how so many people here claim to be an introvert then they said i practiced and now im an extrovert !! dude u cant become an extrovert with any practice , you can only become more social !
I needed this video. I'm an introvert & found myself constantly overthinking situations & and getting out of my character(clingy). Taking a break from dating & social media, so I can learn more about myself and become a better man. Thanks Courtney 😊😊
Awesomeness! Thanks for posting this! As an introvert, I can't handle too many people at once. So when I was with those 3 girls for 4th of July, I definitely was in my zone, relaxed, having fun, no pressure or anxiety
🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼
Full support to you 😎👊👍
Thank you! I actually had a girl drop by going door to door for voter registration. She told me I had pretty eyes and naturally, I was being playful and we were talking about our dogs
@@tommygunn6901 enjoy the sweet times bro. You deserve it my friend 😉👏
@@tommygunn6901 Yeah Iove those moments.
I like you! Have visited several other advice sites but you are my go to from now on. So soft and smooth with no drama or vulgarity- Thank you!
Another good video. I agree with a lot of these points, especially the selectiveness which got my very extroverted friend confused. One point that I agreed with was the slowing down of the conversation, which when I've done it had a lot of women in my area confuse with disinterest.
First off I've been watching a lot of your videos on UA-cam and your mindset is so mature and easy going! I am currently going through a divorce and watching your videos has opened my eyes to a lot that was going on in the relationship not only on her side but on my own as well. I'm certainly going to be looking for so many of the things you explained in my next relationship whenever that time comes and your relaxed way of expressing it all made it all really easy to understand and sort of engrave into my head. Thank you for your dedication to spreading the word!
This video described majority of my dating life to a tee as I'm someone who is very patient and doesn't rush into anything when it comes to relationships. I'm very selective about what I want, and whenever I'm on dates with women I give just enough to keep them intrigued yet keep the cards close to my chest and allow the woman to find out things about me over time.
Love it! 🙌
Never considered you to be an introvert, but if you get hives you definitely are. You're very inspiring. Thanks for coming out and expressing your honest self.
I really appreciate your insight on being an introvert and how to utilize your strengths as an introvert. As one I will say it can be very challenging in many scenarios and especially dating. And like you said, it's sometimes more exhausting to do the "small talk thing" than it is to have a more deep/heartfelt conversation. It's good to know I'm not the only one that thinks this way. Sometimes I feel like an alien lol. Thank you for what you are doing with your channel Courtney! You really are making a difference. Keep up the good work! God bless you.
She posted this gem a couple of months ago
ua-cam.com/video/HNBVNmcHNvs/v-deo.html
I can relate to this in several areas of my life . I'm dreading working from a large centre when my local office closes in a few months the staff are not as friendly as the local office I work at. I appreiciate what you have say and can relate to it. Thanks for reminding me of the better traits of being an introvert .
Appreciate your courage to share how you get nervous also and had hives for one of your first videos. It takes balls to share something like that but it also shows character as not many are willing to admit they have fear or anxiety and let's others know they may not be that different if they have fear.
I had to read up on body language for work and it is so important to be able to read and communicate through it.
Being a introvert is never really easy, as it can be challenging to deal with. However I thought just be yourself and be the best you can be. That all that anyone one can do.
critical thinking and right way of responding to a particular topic in a convo is my introversion
Being authentic is the only way to fly.
Really liked this one. Being an introvert allows me to create stronger bonds and to be very selective when it comes to create connections and relations with others. I wasn't considering being an introvert a good thing but I have learned the advantages and the strongest points of this trait. Thank you Courtney for covering this topic, it was brilliant!
As an introvert my biggest challenge is securing a date, my biggest strength is the actual date. In a way this is the better problem to have.
I taught myself to be more assertive and this paired with my sympathy I find is a really attractive combination to women. (Eg. I'll plan the whole date, and take care of everything including parking. Meanwhile giving her options and asking for her input) I'm also naturally very curious about how things work, including understanding who people truely are. This takes form in me asking engaging and unique questions, making the conversations exciting and flow easy. What I'm really doing is updating the model I have of the other person lol
I'm quite observant and analytical so I'm able to quickly understand people. I notice small details and information they tell me to draw inferences that are often correct. This usually results in them feeling comfortable, feelings of chemistry and familiarity.
Basically if you're a nerd like me you can apply your critical thinking into exploring who your date really is and this naturally results in it going very well.
Same here -- so far I like pretty much everything I have in her model, my one and only big question so far is how tolerant she will be of our religious differences!
I’m 36, male, introvert but I’m not shy. I can be very social. I can talk to an entire room full of people especially women. My beef with being introverted is that my “social/emotional battery” gets drained. This requires me to more-or-less pull out of the public eye and “recharge” it’s mandatory. If I don’t respect this self-maintenance requirement, my mental health suffers and many times I have neglected this need to recharge for self care and have ended up with depression/anxiety. It took me many years to understand and realize that I was introverted and being introverted required unique self-care and maintenance. And yes, this has and will negatively impact my relationship with women because humans are social creatures and they need to socialize and connect emotionally. It’s hard to do this with introverts who can become burnt out from over-socializing even with a significant other. It’s unfair to have to deal with this.
I’m actually not introverted but I do watch these videos to help relate to my girlfriend who is. It’s definitely a good learning opportunity and I think it helps me be closer to her.
She posted this gem a couple of months ago
ua-cam.com/video/HNBVNmcHNvs/v-deo.html
This actually made me feel a lot better about certain qualities of mine, it was a real confidence boost. You're so awesome Courtney, thank you so much for what you're doing. It has really helped me a lot just in the last few short weeks that I've started watching your content.
I identified myself as an introvert for way too long…
Just like I don’t believe in “morning people” and “night owls,” I also don’t think there are “introverts” and “extroverts”
You absolutely have a natural inclination to one of the other, but the environment you place yourself in will shape you into one or the other
I used to work as an engineer and exhibited all the “introvert” characteristics… then I quit my job to do real state sales
It was VERY uncomfortable, but I believed in myself and that I could adapt in order to succeed
And by the way, I make way more money as a real state salesman than I did as an engineer
Unfortunately for you, the difference between introverts and extroverts is real. And it's based on the different ways their neurophysiology works. In other words, your brain is wired one way or another, so you can't just switch between them.
So, trying to pursue a career which doesn't suit your type can be lucrative, but it will increase your stress level and, most likely, will make your life miserable.
@@сырпошехонский You can adapt and succeed in any career if you believe in yourself. And that’s not just woo woo spiritual mysticism. That’s what the whole book “the Biology of Belief” is about. I’d recommend it if you like reading.
I am an introvert and this video really shows that she knows what she is talking about, im not exactly shy and im definetly at my strongest when in a 1 on 1 conversation, but my problem is getting there, how to get a date? Dating apps are not working, bars are not really my thing and i dont feel comfortable forcing myself to start a new hobby i dont like just to meet women.
I loooooooved the way you defined introverts. Breath of fresh air. 👍
Wow!!! You really had me pegged! It’s like you were reading my biography. Thanks for the wonderful info.
I love going out to the park. But sometimes I prefer not to because everytime I do it, all I see is couples. And I think to myself: I would like so much to have a girl in my life who wants to spend moments like that with me as much as I want to. Walk together, lay down on the grass and talk for hours, eat ice-cream... It just makes me sad. Not angry, not resentful. Just sad. Why can't I have something like that ? Why does it seems like everyone can, but I can't ? I know it's not a matter of physycal attractiveness because a lot of those guys are average, just like me. I hate sitting on a bench and eat my ice-cream alone every week, but I just don't know what to do. Everytime I think I have met a girl who may be interested in me, it turns out at the end that she wasn't. Or she didn't want anything serious. I just don't know what to do. I fear one day I will wake up having 30yo feeling as lonely as I feel today.
A positive video about introverts, but being painfully shy, having social anxiety all my life is not a positive thing, as commented previously I've tried NLP, CBT, group therapy, one to one talking therapy, reading self help books, breathing techniques and all have worked a bit but I've just got to live with the condition, I have had quite a few girlfriends but have been single for more than twenty years now, women get bored very easily and give up if you're not the outgoing type with fascinating conversation.
Starting therapy again next week. Hopefully I can get to use these videos one day.
Being an introvert is a lot harder as a guy I think. Many women look to men to lead the energy and generate the spark on the date (and pull them into a positive vibe), and if you don't have the energy it can be an awkward uncomfortable date for both parties.
Hi, Courtney. I want to extend a big THANK YOU for your videos. A couple of months ago, my wife and I separated after more than years 6-years of struggle. Though I believe she could have done more to make the relationship work, I've learned from watching your videos that I could have done MUCH more. There's been so much I've learned from you - so many things I wish I would have known years ago that could have likely made my marriage better. After having watched your videos, I have more hope (and I think much better style). I don't know if my wife and I will make it but, regardless, I'm making significant progress in how I present myself, and I'm excited to see where that will take me. Don't know if you've ever thought about providing your knowledge to a high school class, but I think students need to hear your words while they're young-"ish". Thank you!
Thank you Courtney! Being an outgoing introvert helps me be more authentic. Standing next to the woman I would like to meet, I often got tongue-tied. I'm ok with that now and just make small talk just to make a start......and take it from there.
Have you ever considered doing a video on how to identify an introverted woman while out and about and how they like to be approached?
You never fail with these advice your go good at giving advice amazing video once again Courtney
Women will not consider introverts to be "mysterious" unless the introvert is hot. If you're a not-hot introvert, then women will see you as boring. Unfair? Yes. Are women fair? No. Are women logical? No.
I feel I pay more attention to my surroundings and can read people alot better. I have a very strong intuition.
I don’t see many advantages to being introverted as a guy when it comes to dating.
But I have used it to my advantage in my career/business. In meetings, I’m good at listening and not feeling the need to always be the loudest in the room constantly talking. When I do speak, I make sure I’m saying something of value, which ironically has people leaving the meeting thinking I spoke more than I did since everything I said was relevant and added value
Courtney Ryan introverted? Overwhelmed ? Stressed out? Furgit about it, you're a Superstar !
Stellar piece, Courtney. I never felt so good about being introverted!
She made this lovely video a couple months back
ua-cam.com/video/HNBVNmcHNvs/v-deo.html
Thanks for helping dispel the misconceptions of introverts.
🙌🏼 you betcha!
Did you see the video she made maybe 6 weeks ago? It was all about how being an introvert is actually a great thing? Really really good video, you should check it out!
😊💛
read the unplugged alpha by rich. cooper
I miss some things cause you talk too fast for me, but I get almost everything. Great channel, really helps, many thanks. Exactly what I've been searching for.
Stumbled across a few of your videos, Big ups to you. Especially for this one, I'd say I'm an introvert. You are definitely doing a service for all of us out here big UPS to you again May life continue to bless you
I'm 46 and I'm more ambiverted these days but naturally I'm a introvert.. I still don't like big crowds and a big homebody. I'm perceived as "boring" by most women. I'm silly, goofy, friendly and mild manneted but I'm also direct, assertive. and no nonsense. I think my personality throws people off. I get them comfortable being them and they show their true colors, cause they think I'm weak...when I give that same energy back I'm labeled as "mean". I've dated here and there for 21 years... my problem isnt meeting women, it just never lasts very long after meeting them. Been single that long too. I'm 46. I'm at a point now where I'm happy being on my own.. I've learned to love it...now I don't care about meeting anyone lol.
Thanks for sharing, man
@@Lordran__ thanks for taking the time out to read it. I know it's kinda long...just thought it might be people similar to me and too let them know it's OK to be single, don't have to follow society's standards of happiness.
Ill be in the same boat when I’m your age brother. Some guys just have it. Others dont. I’m one of the ones that dont, and I’m perfectly fine with that
Im a huge introvert Courtney your videos are 🔥
🤍🙌🏼
🥈
Great tips! And speaking of “Introverts…” Sigma Males are also Introverts - and they tend to do great with women!
It seems like a Sigma Male is the guy to be - they get the best of both worlds.
They’re not Beta Males, and they’re not necessarily Alpha Males either. They’re sort of in the middle.
They’re kind of Introverts, because they don’t want to be distracted by other people’s thoughts and views all the time.
They know what they want out of life, and they’re focused - and they wake up each morning ready, and they put their whole mind to it!
Anyway, that’s my two cents.
-Carlos Verde - Dating Tips
You look so mature .i can't believe you are in your twenties
In Life certain things we can't do that we want to do has nothing to do like dating or social interaction has more to do with FEAR than being an introvert or other personality traits, fear of the unknown, of judgement or criticism or leaving your comfort zone, anyone can truly learn to be outgoing, talk to people, be charming and charismatic because they are skills that can be taught and learnt but if you're too afraid to take a step then Nothing would change.
I'm an introvert myself and I have been single my entire life (I'm 31 currently), although I've had my share of crushes and experiences with others that were pretty close to relationships (currently dealing with the latest heartbreak regarding that. I'll be fine.) I've watched a number of Courtney's videos in hopes to figure out things and what I can do to improve and this is the first one I'm commenting on. One thing that I definitely should work on is slowing down. I probably decide my feelings too quickly, even if they feel true to me. And things that seem like small steps to me, like meeting up for lunch or hanging out, may not be simple for everyone and I should work on that. One thing I somewhat disagree with is that, although I identify as an introvert, I actually really like small talk. I like hearing about someone's day and what their family are up to and what they have coming up during the week. I don't need the conversation to be some nuanced philosophical discussion. I'm fine with conversations that aren't going to enrich my brain. Like this video stated, I know what I want, though I have an even better understanding now. I also think I understand now that I should chill out more. I've been a bit more edgy lately and I'm continuing to work on that. In these recent years, I've realized that sometimes the only way to "do better" is to do better with someone else rather than trying to repair something with someone. On the other hand, James Arnold Taylor once said that you don't have to reconcile with someone to forgive them. I think this goes for both sides. Anyway, thanks for making these videos Courtney, and I will continue to do my best and hope that it will one day be enough for someone while I rebuild my being okay with being by myself.
I am an introvert. But i think i am also shy. I don’t think my introversion gets in the way. Once i get comfortable around someone, I’ll talk.. and I’m really smart. I have spent a lot of time learning psychology and sociology. Ill make the conversation engaging and reflective. I think my shyness is my problem. I was bullied a lot in school growing up. I was a fat kid with autism. I was socially awkward and got picked on by family, friends, and girls.. I learned to be quiet and shy by getting rejected/made fun of over and over again. the fear of rejection can hurt so much more than the rejection itself. I’m self aware if my issues. I gotta talk more. People flirt with me all the time, and I quickly look away because i get anxious. It’s not a lack of confidence. It’s more like a self esteem issue. And words of affirmations to trick your brain is such foolish thinking. You’re picking up an ideal to fool yourself that you are a worthy human being. It’s just wishful thinking. I just need to expose myself. Let people see me.
Thank you Courtney. I appreciate your perspective.
Courtney you are so smart and beautiful my friend. Thanks for helping us introverts out in dating!
I'm an introvert too. Really great advice from you Courtney ☺️ This will help me with my future dates
I don't think I can find your WhatsApp account 🥺
Love these videos of Courtney Ryan they are very helpful. The pic on the cover is a very attractive shot of ya.
Quiet people always know more than they seem. Although very normal, their inner world is by default fronted mysterious and therefore assumed weird. Never underestimate the social awareness and sense of reality in a quiet person; they are some of the most observant, absorbent persons of all.
People said I am introvert because I don’t speak in public or in a big group. However, I can talk to strangers or my dates for an hour easily and not sure if I am not still introvert.
Women in general prefer extroverts and charismatic people. Introvert men have it more difficult
Introverts are great! Truly under valued
Thank you for posting this awesome dating advice video 🙂
It’s my pleasure! 😇
As a shy, introverted guy with social anxiety and battling depression, I thought I was doomed to be alone forever because I could not approach women and talk to them. But after over 10 years of searching, I finally found a woman who could overlook those problems I had. Thank God for internet dating sites where my social anxiety and shyness did not holding me back from contacting women online and talking to them. Real life first meeting was the hard part, but after over a month of talking, I was prepared and it went well. Glad I did not give up.
A social anxiety video wood be great. I am a hardcore introvert, probably in the social anxiety spectrum and small talk for me is agonizing, going mgtow for the solitude and not having to interact it seems.
You have to reduce the social anxiety first. Like training to be able to talk to woman in a friendly context like just a colleague pr something
Courtney, I'm so glad you defined "introvert" as something other than "shy" or "insecure".
Hope you also do a video on how to date/converse/vibe with introverted women
We have advantages as introverts, we observe people for better and worse very accurately and we don't pursue easily leading others to pursue us and giving us standards, boundaries, and thus quality
I'm different from most other introverts then apparently as I have NO ISSUES with confrontation. Confrontation and conflict are not synonymous, but they are often easily confused.
I don't care one bit what anyone thinks, if someone says something that is WAY off base from the truth, I will tell them that as well as why that is. I try not to do so in an inherently disrespectful or "rude" way or with too much animation/emotion, but if their level of authority renders them contextually irresponsible, that certainly could be a part of the examination as well. If someone is acting in a way or in belief of something which is *objectively dishonorable/disrespectful,* I don't care very much about their emotion or my own when I tell them what they've done. Emotion as a whole is practically an invalid factor regardless, yet so many people still think it is the end-all be-all of what makes a person. Too many want to *_self-identity_* themselves as "empaths" these days, and the irony of that reality is quite hilarious to me.
If someone values emotion over truth, then their emotions are TRULY baseless. Truth is NOT controlled by emotion, it's vice versa.
People say women don't give good advice to men for dating, and i find your advice better then alot of people who say said. Keep it up! More power to you!
Yeah, there many people who think that are introverts, but are really just shy, lack confidence, and suck at socializing, and try to use that as an excuse. Similar to how someone might try to convince themselves that they have adhd when they probably don't and just want to excuse their crappy habits. It wasn't till I improved most aspects of myself, getting healthier, improving my social kills, and gaining confidence, that I truly knew I was an introvert
I'm a Introvert. I embrace it. Thanks Courtney!
ua-cam.com/video/HNBVNmcHNvs/v-deo.html another great Courtney take on introversion
One of the rare people who understand the difference between social anxiety and introversion 👏
Really interested in what to do, if, like me you are both introverted and socially anxious.
@@brentleask3877 Well first thing's first: don't be worried about any of it (as much as is possible right now). Strange as it may seem, but social anxiousness and introversion can both be attractive to women as long as you're genuine in your interactions. I'd say you should work on your social anxiety however you can but it may even go away to an extent or even fully simply through socialization. As far as introversion is concerned, I don't think that's a problem at all unless it's to an extent where you hate social activities or talking to people, in which case you've strayed into antisocial territory.
Great video Courtney. Thanks. I'm an introvert.
I want to talk to you about a situation with an ex involving human trafficking, drug dealing, prostitution, and how I knew about NONE of it while I was “dating” her for a year and a half. Please, this is very important and I would love some guidance.
Speak with the police
@@cornevanerk9981 I tried. They only tell me that they can’t help.
I consider myself a very extraverted introvert. I don't see it as much with dating, but definitely in my day to day life I have way better interactions with people I see on a daily. In my line of work this is very important.
6:12 we value meaningful and deep connections and not just surface level shallow relationships
Yes, if only my friends understood this.
Listening is something that most people overlook these days because so much attention is placed on forcing your perspective onto other people and thinking of the next thing to say without actually acknowledging what other people have contributed. If we spent more of our time listening rather than talking, we'd come out of a conversation learning so much more than if our intention was to one up or impress the other person.
I guess , we as introvert persons, what we got to do is go on with our targets mainly before putting woman, none woman go want you if you don't build your own destiny first as a man. That's stuffs are what define us. Thx Courtney every time more cute in the videos.
Forgot to mention that he shall be tall and physically attractive. If yes, then it doesn't matter if he is an extrovert or introvert, women will come up with any reason why it is good. If he is not attractive, the same qualities will be perceived as bad.
Looks absolutely matter but we must focus in what we can do. Dress well, do some exercise, try to improve your social skills.
I'm going to keep repeating myself to every guy that brings this up. Not every woman cares if your tall! I'm 5.2 I prefer guys closer to my height. I am attracted to guys that also wear glasses. And I would date someone shorter or even in a wheelchair. Because what matters is who you are as a person. Same with money I don't care how much you have! Just have a stable job and pay your bills on time to show you handle your money wisely.
Every one is a 10 to someone. 🖖🌺
This sounds like cope to me
Thank you Mrs Ryan appreciate your work. ☮️
As an introvert you have to try a bit harder with girls because you can be a little less noticeable from the jump in social interactions (unless you're very good looking of course - which makes everything easier). You are probably better off approaching and engaging girls one on one away from the hub-hub of say, a party. Another trick is to have an extrovert friend as a wingman and go hit up girl couples. Often these girl couples have a similar dynamic. Thereafter be interesting, introspective and curious - these are often introvert traits anyway. Try and relax and let tone and body language speak also.
Wow! Your hair styling on the thumbnail was really attractive. Just had to say this out loud. Another fine video from you.
Who are the authors for the quotes again..? Thanks a lot for posting this video, really resonated well with me..!
We are very good listeners and we study people silently but it’s a lot of struggles
Personality types go across the board. Some grow up shy and introspective, and later become more extroverted as they get more friends and become more social. Hard to say how much the 2 traits could overlap in some people. Extroverts can have a shy introverted side too. I know there are pure versions of both, but I feel like I have some of both traits. I'm introspective, but not a true introvert or extrovert.
Your inspiring, made me think twice about myself. Thank you loving the content 😊