Conquer Your Critical Inner Voice

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  • Опубліковано 27 чер 2024
  • (And How To Heal). Perhaps it is better to think about healing your critical inner voice, rather than conquering it. Our inner critic develops from early experience. This video discusses how to identify the negative core beliefs under the inner critic and how to understand yourself in order to heal.
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    Disclaimer:
    This video was created by Barbara Heffernan, LCSW for educational purposes only. These videos are not diagnostic and provide no individual consultation. Consumption of these materials is for your own education and any medical, psychological, or professional care decisions should be made between you and your primary care doctor or another provider that you are engaged with. Barbara Heffernan is not available for individual consultation via UA-cam, social media, or email, and provides services only in the manner mentioned above.
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КОМЕНТАРІ • 101

  • @BarbaraHeffernan
    @BarbaraHeffernan  3 роки тому +19

    How do you feel about HEALING your inner critical voice, instead of conquering it?

    • @leofunks31
      @leofunks31 3 роки тому +2

      I feel that this is something I wish I'd started working on much sooner. But I think that when I am healed it will give me an unbelievable sense of inner peace. Thank you Barabara. :)

    • @christine6059
      @christine6059 3 роки тому +1

      I think it’s a supremely kind approach, one I wish I had heard of long ago. But at age 72, I tend tend to think it’s far too late. I am exhausted after decades of pummeling myself and have no more energy.

    • @andrewcharbonneau4486
      @andrewcharbonneau4486 3 роки тому

      How would you go about healing an inner critical voice that has a lifetime's worth of subject matter to go on because my face is disfigured since birth...

    • @monicasanchez8438
      @monicasanchez8438 3 роки тому +2

      this hits home so much!!!!!. thank you!!!i can only wish you more success and power.

    • @BeatzByMK
      @BeatzByMK 2 роки тому +1

      That feels a lot better

  • @bossiestplebita0528
    @bossiestplebita0528 3 роки тому +28

    I had horrible anxiety and depression as a kid. I would push people away because I didn't feel like socializing because I felt horrible. I grew up in a very hostile environment as a kid and my mom was really verbally abusive. I pushed people away because I wasn't being myself...my head was full of negative self talk. I couldn't be my fun funny self and i thought I'd bore them. I had anxiety, and then I developed social anxiety because I thought I was boring because I was so depressed and didn't want to socialize. I couldn't be myself...it became a vicious cycle...I didn't have support at home and I was scared to open up to anyone. Geeeesh louise. This too shall pass. I am loveable. I was just so hurt and I shut down. I will beat this. 😊

    • @sun018
      @sun018 2 роки тому +4

      Brave and courageous person, well done on your awareness and self observations. You've come this far, this will definitely help you further.

    • @fredharvey2720
      @fredharvey2720 2 роки тому +1

      I'm sorry you went through that

    • @asasinambiar6860
      @asasinambiar6860 2 роки тому +5

      @@fredharvey2720 i too had bad expeeriences as a child. I am 64 and i recovered from trauma couple of years ago only...... I lost major part of my life.... due to my parents... 😘

    • @fredharvey2720
      @fredharvey2720 2 роки тому +2

      @@asasinambiar6860 I'm sorry

  • @jonwebb6644
    @jonwebb6644 3 роки тому +31

    I have discovered that by doing the action, even if don't believe it's going to work is going to produce good results eventually. Drag the body and the mind will follow.

  • @grannyvroomvroom2523
    @grannyvroomvroom2523 3 роки тому +26

    Your approach to healing is wonderful, for those of us with a lot of negative self talk are best served by learning compassion and love for ourselves because the source of our negativity likely came from a "lack of" compassion or love from others who were important in our lives.
    Thank you!

  • @junea.sierra6691
    @junea.sierra6691 2 місяці тому

    Thank you so much for this, Ms. Hefferman. Please know that you are making so much difference in the world. ❤

  • @sreenivasg7827
    @sreenivasg7827 3 роки тому +10

    Very true, self talk is very important to reconcile one self. It's a continuous process to adopt..Thanks Barbara

  • @laurayates4033
    @laurayates4033 3 роки тому +4

    YOU are a blessing. The only way out is IN. I love this and am so grateful to have you as a resource!

  • @phaniraj5142
    @phaniraj5142 10 місяців тому +1

    Great talk and explanation of concept Mam, almost on similar lines, the talk by sister BK Shivani of Brahma Kumaris...

  • @dmnb.3691
    @dmnb.3691 Рік тому +1

    I'm very grateful for your videos on your UA-cam channel ❤
    Outstanding ❤❤❤ Thanks!!

    • @BarbaraHeffernan
      @BarbaraHeffernan  Рік тому

      So glad they are helpful! Thank you for letting me know!

    • @dmnb.3691
      @dmnb.3691 Рік тому

      @@BarbaraHeffernan I would like more information on EMDR Therapy how you can help yourself. And Barbara do you provide consultation?

  • @sarveshkore5468
    @sarveshkore5468 8 місяців тому

    Thank you 🙏🙏

  • @cmullenmusic
    @cmullenmusic 8 місяців тому

    Thank you...

  • @solomancambridge2572
    @solomancambridge2572 11 місяців тому +1

    Omg, this is so insightful.
    Not to brag, but I live in a area code where the norn is us seeing Ferraris, Porches and Mercedes vehicles every hour. It doesnt impress me though.
    My nervous system still reacts like I still live in an War Zone, so I work from home and dont go out as much as most people.
    CPTSD from growing up in a violent alcoholic drug addicted childhood home, is a daily grinding experience. Some days andiety and agoraphobia is lower than usual. To my credit, I managed go to two festivals withing the last month. Yay!😊

  • @heathergill8622
    @heathergill8622 2 роки тому +2

    Thank you for making videos to help us understand what's going on and how to begin to think about and respond in these situations! You pack so much info into all of your videos, but it works together so smoothly. From this one, I know I can start to show some TLC to my Inner Critic instead of feeling bad about what it's telling me!

  • @lthomas3623
    @lthomas3623 3 роки тому +1

    Thanks for everything you are putting out

  • @joed.5748
    @joed.5748 Рік тому

    Barbara, you are freaking me out. I just got done watching your enmeshment video. My name is Joe and I am a goofy kid who felt exiled in middle school, currently trying to be a good Uncle Joe to a very enmeshed nephew and niece...
    *goosebumps*

    • @BarbaraHeffernan
      @BarbaraHeffernan  Рік тому

      🤣 how lucky your niece and nephew are too have you!

  • @gonziespinoza8790
    @gonziespinoza8790 3 роки тому +1

    I cannot stop crying listening to this....Thank you...it is intense...Thank you

    • @BarbaraHeffernan
      @BarbaraHeffernan  3 роки тому +1

      I SO hope it is helpful. Wishing you health and healing, Barbara

  • @grahamfonteyne4792
    @grahamfonteyne4792 3 роки тому +1

    Thanks for the excellent video Barbara. You are so insightful!

  • @marymullins4130
    @marymullins4130 3 роки тому

    Thanks Barbara - always so helpful.

  • @eamonmcullen
    @eamonmcullen 2 роки тому

    Thank you Barbara. Watching this was profound for me!

  • @mosesmukuna
    @mosesmukuna 3 роки тому +2

    Excellent insights, very helpful indeed. Your information has brought me far.

  • @flerma223
    @flerma223 2 роки тому +1

    I'm so glad I discovered your channel

    • @BarbaraHeffernan
      @BarbaraHeffernan  2 роки тому

      Awesome! Terrific that you are accessing resources and bringing them to your therapist in an active way!!

  • @barbaraholldk2173
    @barbaraholldk2173 2 роки тому

    you are wonderful!! SO helpful!!

    • @BarbaraHeffernan
      @BarbaraHeffernan  2 роки тому

      Thank you so much for letting me know - it is very helpful for me to know my videos help. Wishing you health and healing, Barbara

  • @loahyvalley9797
    @loahyvalley9797 3 роки тому

    Another great video. Very inspiring. I will use it for my EMDR work. Thank you so much❣️

    • @BarbaraHeffernan
      @BarbaraHeffernan  3 роки тому

      Terrific! You are welcome and thank you for doing this work as well!

  • @raffaelebenvenuti9913
    @raffaelebenvenuti9913 3 роки тому +1

    It’s great and always interesting to listen to your talks. I take notes all the times 👍🏻☀️🎏💚

  • @jeffd.5110
    @jeffd.5110 3 роки тому +1

    Barbara, you are unbelievable! As if you were in my head these past years. It is something of a comfort apparently I am not alone in my thoughts. We must have dated in a prior life or parallel universe. lol, Time for a retreat if it were possible.

  • @user-td9mf8nw2x
    @user-td9mf8nw2x 3 роки тому

    maam you are such an angle who saves us.thankyou so much

  • @Ra-thesunking
    @Ra-thesunking Рік тому

    This seems very helpful, thank you

  • @mariamkinen8036
    @mariamkinen8036 2 роки тому

    I consider my inner voice to be just n righteous . Very pragmatic.

  • @anandalawrence6203
    @anandalawrence6203 Рік тому

    Wow!! I've watched two of your videos and I have learnt so much already😲. Thankyou

  • @jantoledo6533
    @jantoledo6533 3 роки тому

    Very helpful👏👏👏👏 Thank you!

  • @user-xf2ww9pm8p
    @user-xf2ww9pm8p Рік тому

    You helped me a lot thank you

  • @lorelieglasgow5147
    @lorelieglasgow5147 Рік тому

    I came across you looking for help to see if I want to go down the emdr path. You have been a big help in many areas. I appreciate you.

    • @BarbaraHeffernan
      @BarbaraHeffernan  Рік тому

      Thank you so much for letting me know! I hope the material continues to be helpful for you!

  • @raniadizikiriki8935
    @raniadizikiriki8935 Рік тому

    I am so happy I found your channel!Sending warm greetings from Greece.

    • @BarbaraHeffernan
      @BarbaraHeffernan  Рік тому

      Welcome!! Glad you are here. I've loved my visits to your beautiful country.

  • @John-qt3vt
    @John-qt3vt 3 роки тому

    Finding a lot of value in these videos.

    • @BarbaraHeffernan
      @BarbaraHeffernan  3 роки тому

      I'm so pleased to hear that. Thank you for letting me know!

  • @sohailkhan1651
    @sohailkhan1651 Рік тому

    absolutely correct

  • @amyj.4992
    @amyj.4992 Рік тому

    My therapist taught me, when your negative critic starts to talk bad to you. Talk to your critic, by reframing its own narrative. Self compassion helps a lot. Learning to laugh at yourself, she would call it. Setting emotional boundaries, on your A.N.T.S. (automatic negative thoughts) setting boundaries allows you, to be mindful of your own emotional expressions without being blatantly disrespectful towards others. But if I am ever disrespectful...Mama Domma comin' for that jugular

  • @petehill8885
    @petehill8885 Рік тому

    Your work is vitally important Barbara.🤩🔥

  • @anupa1090
    @anupa1090 3 роки тому +1

    Nice madam really soothing and energetic

  • @nakanjakofaith9532
    @nakanjakofaith9532 Рік тому

    Hey Barbara

  • @KathrynAnnWilliams
    @KathrynAnnWilliams 3 роки тому

    Great perspective and explanations. I really wanted to read the pdf but it wouldn't download by clicking on download button.

    • @BarbaraHeffernan
      @BarbaraHeffernan  3 роки тому

      Hi Kathryn: Please check your download file. It goes right into there sometimes. Hope that helps!

  • @marilynmoney2771
    @marilynmoney2771 2 роки тому +1

    Hello Barbara,I'm new
    OMG joy...I'm so far from
    Joy I honestly cannot remember
    Well now that I'm typing on my
    Phone . Actually, if I had to
    Guess i think I felt some
    Joy when I was a
    Buddhist as well, though
    I'm thinking perhaps not
    The same sect as you
    ( I'm just guessing)
    I used to chant
    Morning & evening
    This is many years of ago
    It's getting difficult to type
    My right hand/arm is in a sling.

    • @BarbaraHeffernan
      @BarbaraHeffernan  2 роки тому

      Hi Marilyn: How wonderful that you have experiences in your past that led you to more joy - that is such a rich field to pull from to figure out what to do next!

  • @burntoats
    @burntoats Рік тому

    Dear Barbara, thank you so much. I'm finding your videos so encouraging! Your tone and style and suggestions are very nourishing and non-judgemental. I have a question: after my last very painful breakup I realised I can easily interpret my life/relationships/choices through the lens of CPTSD. I've had a long list of family severely traumatic events that makes it impossible to ignore. I started reading books about complex trauma, and came across Pete Walker's core idea of 'angering' against the inner critic/inner parental figure in a sustained way for quite a long time. He states that it is the initial fundamental phase of recovery from CPTSD. I have tried and tried, but I find it incredibly tough/fake and it also feels like attacking a part of myself. What do you think of this strategy? Thank you :)

    • @BarbaraHeffernan
      @BarbaraHeffernan  Рік тому +2

      Hi: So glad you are finding my videos encouraging! I am not familiar with Pete Walker. Most of the paradigms I have learned and utilized for myself and my clients have been the opposite - embracing the inner critic, who arose to protect us... even if it takes a destructive approach - ... I also think different approaches can work for different people so I encourage you to trust your intuition and find something that works for you!

    • @burntoats
      @burntoats Рік тому

      @@BarbaraHeffernan Thank you so much Barbara :)

  • @kelliekaser6042
    @kelliekaser6042 Рік тому

    Healing ❤️‍🩹 sounds great

  • @laizaglutz8362
    @laizaglutz8362 3 роки тому

    Could you please help clarify:
    How could someone who received a lot of love in their childhood be so needy of receiving love as an adult?
    And how could you be so fearful of betrayal when you never experienced parental divorce, parents leaving, loss of a parent etc.?

  • @esfromec1
    @esfromec1 Рік тому

    Thank you Barbara, I sure hope I get to have some sessions with you in the future. Are you taking new clients by the way?

    • @BarbaraHeffernan
      @BarbaraHeffernan  Рік тому

      Hi: I take on only a very limited number of 1:1 coaching clients, Info here:www.awakenjoy.life/1-on-1-coaching, and logistics of working with me here:www.awakenjoy.life/contact

  • @mirelladlima5278
    @mirelladlima5278 2 роки тому

    Could positive affirmations and reprogramming the subconscious mind meditations help to convert our negative self talk to positive ?🙏

    • @BarbaraHeffernan
      @BarbaraHeffernan  2 роки тому

      I think those things help. In my experience, working with "reasonable" positive beliefs is more effective long term than affirmations, but there are many different methods!

  • @mariamkinen8036
    @mariamkinen8036 2 роки тому

    I fear . Life with DANGEROUS ppl ,rather, requires a louder inner voice

  • @John_Guice
    @John_Guice 2 роки тому

    Conquer "your" inner voice? Or help a kid to conquer theirs?

  • @thanksexportsshoes240
    @thanksexportsshoes240 2 роки тому

    hi barbara you have deep knoledege it is all that happening to me

    • @BarbaraHeffernan
      @BarbaraHeffernan  2 роки тому

      So sorry to hear you experience this, but I hope the video is helpful!

  • @nakanjakofaith9532
    @nakanjakofaith9532 Рік тому

    Y do i suffer with concentration

    • @BarbaraHeffernan
      @BarbaraHeffernan  Рік тому

      I couldn't say! there are a number of things that make it hard to concentrate... anxiety, adhd, medical... might be worth discussing with a doctor or therapist. Wishing you the best!

  • @antonellahuron496
    @antonellahuron496 Рік тому

    I just took a minute to really observe and listen to my inner critic.. Wow, she's nuts, she's awful 😅 I feel better that im not her 😂