How not to have a conversation (Ask more questions!)
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- Опубліковано 22 тра 2024
- Yesterday an 84 year old started speaking to me... or should I say at me. It was interesting, but I don't think he cared anything about who I was... only that I allowed him to speak.
Hi, I’m Conor Neill, I speak and write about Persuasion, the art of Moving People to Action. I have the privilege of being father to two great little daughters. I live in Barcelona, Spain.
Questions? Ideas? Tweet me: / conorneill
Visit my channel for more videos: ua-cam.com/users/rhetorica...
Conor is a sought-after keynote speaker on Leadership. He teaches Leadership Communications at IESE Business School and is the President of Vistage in Spain, part of the world’s leading CEO organisation. As an entrepreneur, he has founded 5 companies, selling 16 private jets and building the 3rd largest fleet of private jets in Spain. He is a visiting professor at University College Dublin, the University of Montevideo and Permanent Faculty on Entrepreneurs’ Organisation’s Global Leadership Academy.
What is Persuasion?
* What does it take to move people to action?
* What does it take to have impact when you communicate?
* How can I inspire the people around me to be the best version of themselves?
These are questions that I answer. I answer these questions with tools that work for politicians, business leaders, entrepreneurs and professors.
Where do I begin?
The Complete Guide to Personal Habits: 158 Positive Reflections in 7 Categories to Be The Best Version of Yourself bit.ly/1Z3baAz
10 Personal Habits of Resilient People bit.ly/2N0PqsQ
14 Things Highly Productive People Do Differently bit.ly/2MXWdU9
Simple Rules for Effective Meetings bit.ly/2N8A2KK
6 Ways to get your Email Ignored bit.ly/2MXWCpD
17 Daily personal habits for a fulfilling life bit.ly/2MXWM0d
Free Speaking Course bit.ly/speakpractice
Speak as a Leader is an email driven course. You will learn to deliver speeches that are interesting and lively so that you can capture and maintain your audience’s attention.
"Be very careful to take advice from someone who hasn't asked you any questions." This is great. Thank you, Conor. The art of conversation is precious.
Glad it was helpful!
Thank you conor
Thank you for answering in the title. Genius answer. I’ve asked myself this question because I only want to listen & don’t want to talk about myself but definitely want them to know I care & am sincere/engaged.
Thanks Conor
Thank you so much for making my Sunday morning beautiful.
You are so right Connor. So many people are so self-centered that they can't really have a quality conversation with somebody because all they want to talk about are themselves. I remember two individuals that I tried to have friendships with and we talked at length about a topic yeah it was them their lives their interests. And then after we were done talking about them the friendships came to an end. They failed to see that there was another individual with a whole other set of experiences and history that could have been explored yes that was me but they weren't interested in discussing my life. And you're right about asking questions asking questions is a great way to get people to talk but they also have to understand that they are not the only character in the novel.
The second part was an eye opener. A simple statement but very relevant to me. Thank you....
Golden advice and a great perspective. Thank you for sharing :)
Thanks for this, listening can be a powerful tool too.
Thanks Connor for sharing such great video, our emotions,ego and fear are not allow us to be interested…always want people get good impression about us, lead them conversation where we have great story to tell them. Probably before asking question from people, we need to learn ask hard and right question from ourselves
You‘ve always had so many wise thoughts that helped me o my own path. Thank you very much.
Good video of guidance on conversations, much appreciated
Excellent advice, Conor. I love your ability to read the situation when you're in the role of the teacher in a classroom vs. a person in a conversation.
Thank you 🙏
HI THERE ALEX, HOW CAN I GET IN CONTACT WITH YOU, I WANT TO TRANSLATE YOUR BOOKS IN ROMANIAN AND TO SELL THEM IN ROMANIA?
Self-awareness..thanks for sharing your insights. God bless.
Great one
that's so smart!!!!
Great video! “Be interested not interesting”
Good morning from India! Very refreshing and interesting!
Great Topic!
Thank You for your insight, very helpful. Any book recommendations on becoming more effective at digging deeper with questions?
Super stuff Conor as always and enjoyable.
How true that advice (not a term I like) has to be person-centred.
That means we (I find myself, like you, more the giver than recipient of advice) need to do a lot of listening and often (well in my case anyway) avoid knee-jerk advice.
Reflection, ahead of response, is often exponentially valuable in its insight, quality and usefulness. “Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.” Viktor Frankl
But we live in a fast world and (young?) people rarely want the kind of advice that teaches them to fish (rather than offers them a fish on a plate).
They want answers … now … in these “feed me immediately” times.
I agree though I find most people only want to talk about themselves and the few that do ask questions are a rarity, in my experience.
Ask question, learn more!
I always liked what Diogenes said, “We have two ears and only one tongue in order that we may hear more and speak less”.
Awsome advice. I think most people really don't ask question, don't exercise their couriosity. How can we polite say "you shoudl ask more question when you talk", to friends, colleagues, family.?
Do you think a great follow up or part two to this would be how to moderate or manage that questioning process coupled with active listening.
“Feedback is only helpful if it actually hurt a little bit”. Can I borrow this phrase? Thank you!
Absolutely!!! Vistage is definitely a place we learn this insight 😜
But some people ask questions just for the sake of it. It seems as if they learnt somewhere that asking questions is the way to carry out a conversation where the other person would think you're interested in them and they'd use this hack and just keeping asking questions. I actually hate it when that happens and feel that the person isn't actually interested in what I'm saying. Rather they want to seem that they're interested to make themselves seem like a good listener.
Yes, very interesting topic. In your opinion, why some don't ask to much questions ?
The problem I have is: When I ask a lot of questions in a meeting (to get input and information); I feel it is perceived as I lack knowledge on that subject or Zi am week or I am not in control of the company.
Any thoughts would be welcome...
What are your thoughts about the economic?
I would add: make your questions in such a way that the other person cannot answer "yes" or "no".
The blurred background and the moving camera was a very very bad combination. It cause motion sickness as the blur adjusts to the movement.
You are correct, not happy With the filming and tried Final Cut image stabilizer… but it makes me dizzy 😵💫
What I hate is i'm not making eye contact and i'm keeping to myself minding my own business and almost daily people want to come up to me and talk or ask questions or say stupid shit which pisses me off... and I've tried reading books from robert greene to see if i come across anything that can shed some light on why they do what they do. The best answer I can come up with is that people want to size other people up and if they see someone who looks weak they want to see if they can take advantage of them there's no real reason to say good morning to someone who is 15 feet away from you with their back turned to you and not even remotely aware of your presence or is even slightly familiar with who you even are. this to me hints a need to have power over people to assert your will on others by making them feel obligated to your greeting however I know the only way to deflect this all together is to no respond and walk away without ever even peering at their general direction but it does feel awkward and annoying
Off topic. You should really shave you head. I know you probably don’t care but you would look awesome. Thanks for your channel and wise words. Greetings from Denmark.
I did a few years back - first words from my daughter “Put it back!” 🤣
@@ConorNeill Oh, better to leave it where it is then;) The intellectual look wins😉
You should make a video on how not to record a video lol
Curiosity Cured The Cat 🐈 📕
🐈😹
At 84 He was likely old and lonely. No one to talk with, bottled up for days. You were kind enough to listen. Maybe no one else was
That is true…
Hello Conor, wonderful that you shared this episode as these situations happen to all of us. It's startling how many people there are who have lived full lives, had great careers and travelled the world, yet don't know how to have a meaningful conversation.
I'm sure you have probably come across this short video before, by Celeste Hadlee, but just in case:
ua-cam.com/video/R1vskiVDwl4/v-deo.html
She is funny and light but some of the themes are quite deep.
Best wishes,
Nicholas
just try the parroting technique and if they are dragging along the conversation just tell them "I have to go" and make sure to jump in and blurt it out or they will never stop don't be afraid of feeling bad they'll more than likely go to someone else and do the same thing.