Enjoying the videos. Suffering from the affects of the abuse can be tough. But I'm happy to have escaped this value system: "You have to be 'perfect' and constantly deliver high performance to be valuable ..." 🤯🥴
My brother 15 months older than me and myself as the the first daughter after three sons, suffered terribly all my life under my brother's wrath at just being born. He messed me up every way he could, calculatingly. His crazy jealously changed my brain structure I am sure. Some people are just insane
Does "insanity" even exist? We're all calculating to get what we want. It's easy to say he's dysfunctional and toxic. Psychologists like to distinguish personality disorder from "insanity." I'm personally not sure if either label is that substantial
7:21 perfect... Its fluid. Thank you. Trauma makes them hide their true self. Grandiose is the preferred state but even when they lose they won't acknowledge the loss like cognitive dissonance.
Thank you Prof. Vaknin for helping to save my sanity. In particular, by discussing gene arrays, epigenetics, covert, nuanced dynamics, etc. with respect to the development of a narcissist. I have a much loved, estranged, middle-aged daughter, who I think has grandiose narcissism (from my readings as a BSc(hons), MSc(health) graduate, now aged 70). My daughters both grew up in a healthy, happy, loving, balanced, secure family. I am not the only close friend or family member this particular daughter has discarded. By the way both grandfathers had disturbing mental conditions - mine a misogynist and the other an instituionalised schizophrenic. I have grieved deeply for my daughter this past 6 years with damaging health outcomes to myself. This has been compounded by so many psychologists claiming confidently that narcissists are made not born. Best wishes, Susanna, Western Australia.
I was going to write a comment question about connection between personality disorders and genetics or heritability and now I see your video about it, such a miracle! My daughter started a course of psychotherapy with next (not first one) psychologist. Since then she periodically hates me and blames in all her problems. Her therapist diagnosed CPTSD. But I know a few people between my relatives who had similar issues, including myself. Me and my daughter had epilepsy-like episodes in deep childhood, very few but more than one. My uncle fell from the roof and lived heavy concussion in early age, after that he developed BPD symptoms. What can I say special about my daughter - she was all the time a "needy baby" and later a "needy kid". She couldn't stay any minute without me, so I had to cook, clean, do all homework with her laying on my left arm. And later she couldn't be alone doing anything, she needed me or in teenage her numerous friends for her school homework or creative occupations. So she needed some entertainments very often. And of course these mood jumps. Now I think whether it was my fault and I “helped” to develop such features in her psychic or it was some physiological factor? Also I want to mention about her: she lived intrauterine hypoxia and surgery with big blood loss in adult age, and after this surgery her character changed drastically. Also there is a question about borderline and narcissist androgyny and cerebral narcissist asexuality: could it be connected with endocrine disorders? Thanks in advance for your attention to my comment however I understand your stirring life, dear Professor.
Yes, in a family of 5 sisters, I became Codependent, 2 became Narcissists and 2 normalish. I was constantly abused so why didn't I become a Narcissist? The two Narcissist sisters were spoilt. Perhaps it has a genetic component but not entirely.
Dear Professor, Thank you so so much for your incredibly videos. You open our eyes for so many topics in psychology. I have a daughter she is now 22 she is in London and i came back to my country Bulgaria. When she was 18 a man took her from as from everyone that is from my country. I cant communicate with her no-one can, because she is with this man 55 years old. He is manipulative very very rich, and he is from the politic world in London he said he is a free mason and he is from the Torries in the uk parliament. She is stunning beautiful and very hight intelligent close to wunderkind very hight resolds in chemistry biology and maths . She brought an award for the collage that she was study in in London. So we cant do anything to bring her back or just to talk with her. She didn't block is - me, her sister, her father and grandma, but she didnt reply at all she see but no answer. Just to mention that we are normal loving people and i guess she cant have any disorder or so ever but this man i guess he split her from us. He said he is very very religious he is Greek orthodox Christian and from the beginning they were every week at the church. So i think he is a narcissist and she may be is in decoy and cant ever escape. Do you think we can open her eyes with sending her one of your videos and i wonder witch one will be the right one for her situation. Thank you and wish you all the best🙏
So glad this subject is being discussed. My husband’s mother (mil) used to self harm and had lots of interpersonal problems. My husband is the typical braggadocios narcissist. My daughter has been diagnosed as having BPD. The older my daughter gets the more she reminds me of my mil (who passed several years ago). I’ve often wondered if there is an inherited difference in brain function which ultimately presents differently, depending on gender or other things. I’ll add that I’m raising my daughter’s kids and the 19 year old is displaying lack of empathy (among other things). I’ve heard some stories about my mil’s mother having some difficult issues. It’s possible that these difficult personality types just keep effecting the next generation. But the similarities are uncanny.
My millennial daughter was married to a man who I believe has narcissistic personality disorder. During their marriage they lived a very nice lifestyle of traveling… he was a physio to a professional athlete … during that time I was suspicious of his finances, and since their horrible divorce my suspicions have been more than confirmed. His grandiose life was an empty shell with no foundation. As a parent from the baby boomer generation, who had high aspirations for my children, I wonder what role I had in not seeing that my daughter and her husband’s life was a fantasy? How could I have missed that fact, since my own working life was very much based in reality?
What about in terms of narcissistic behaviour being the social norm? I am living in a place with significantly lower social IQ possible due to (?)/ and a higher degree of narcissism. Is it even possible to talk about sociocultural norms collectively or would that be a fallacy due to generalizing? More importantly, in Sparatan-like places where politeness and civility are seen as weakness, is it possible to role model positive social behaviour and make a diff? Can a shift in social dynamics set new standards in social interaction, even when narcissistic tendencies tend to be high? I hope my questions reach you - I hugely respect your work. Thank you kindly for any input/ clarifying my misconceptions.
Fascinating narcissism in women vs men. What about diffs in psychopathy in women vs men? Anyone who might shed some light/ mention some studies here? Finally, what an excellent comment regarding the nature of evidence and science.
That is a turning point in my thinking, as it is opening my eyes to the conception of a Cluster-B continuum (Likely already developed). This means it might be possible to develop appropriate approaches (strategies etc as per your channel) to recognise and interact with each purely for the sake of self-preservation and of course (self-) awareness. Thank you kindly for your response, Professor and much gratitude for the opportunity to learn.
Are there similarities with how autism spectrum disorders present within males versus females? Women seem to mask better than their male counterparts, which in my limited thinking suggests that female narcissistic individuals also mask better! I have a son who is on the spectrum for autism but he identifies more with autistic females as he's very good at masking the difficulties he has. My son is honest, honest to the point of causing himself anxiety, and some of his anxiety is worrying that he is narcissistic!
Enjoying the videos. Suffering from the affects of the abuse can be tough. But I'm happy to have escaped this value system: "You have to be 'perfect' and constantly deliver high performance to be valuable ..." 🤯🥴
My brother 15 months older than me and myself as the the first daughter after three sons, suffered terribly all my life under my brother's wrath at just being born. He messed me up every way he could, calculatingly. His crazy jealously changed my brain structure I am sure. Some people are just insane
Does "insanity" even exist? We're all calculating to get what we want. It's easy to say he's dysfunctional and toxic. Psychologists like to distinguish personality disorder from "insanity." I'm personally not sure if either label is that substantial
7:21 perfect... Its fluid. Thank you. Trauma makes them hide their true self. Grandiose is the preferred state but even when they lose they won't acknowledge the loss like cognitive dissonance.
Thank you Prof. Vaknin for helping to save my sanity. In particular, by discussing gene arrays, epigenetics, covert, nuanced dynamics, etc. with respect to the development of a narcissist. I have a much loved, estranged, middle-aged daughter, who I think has grandiose narcissism (from my readings as a BSc(hons), MSc(health) graduate, now aged 70). My daughters both grew up in a healthy, happy, loving, balanced, secure family. I am not the only close friend or family member this particular daughter has discarded. By the way both grandfathers had disturbing mental conditions - mine a misogynist and the other an instituionalised schizophrenic. I have grieved deeply for my daughter this past 6 years with damaging health outcomes to myself. This has been compounded by so many psychologists claiming confidently that narcissists are made not born. Best wishes, Susanna, Western Australia.
I was going to write a comment question about connection between personality disorders and genetics or heritability and now I see your video about it, such a miracle!
My daughter started a course of psychotherapy with next (not first one) psychologist. Since then she periodically hates me and blames in all her problems. Her therapist diagnosed CPTSD.
But I know a few people between my relatives who had similar issues, including myself. Me and my daughter had epilepsy-like episodes in deep childhood, very few but more than one. My uncle fell from the roof and lived heavy concussion in early age, after that he developed BPD symptoms.
What can I say special about my daughter - she was all the time a "needy baby" and later a "needy kid". She couldn't stay any minute without me, so I had to cook, clean, do all homework with her laying on my left arm. And later she couldn't be alone doing anything, she needed me or in teenage her numerous friends for her school homework or creative occupations. So she needed some entertainments very often. And of course these mood jumps.
Now I think whether it was my fault and I “helped” to develop such features in her psychic or it was some physiological factor?
Also I want to mention about her: she lived intrauterine hypoxia and surgery with big blood loss in adult age, and after this surgery her character changed drastically.
Also there is a question about borderline and narcissist androgyny and cerebral narcissist asexuality: could it be connected with endocrine disorders?
Thanks in advance for your attention to my comment however I understand your stirring life, dear Professor.
Munchausen by proxy?
Yes, in a family of 5 sisters, I became Codependent, 2 became Narcissists and 2 normalish. I was constantly abused so why didn't I become a Narcissist? The two Narcissist sisters were spoilt. Perhaps it has a genetic component but not entirely.
Green eggs and Sam. Love it.
Dear Professor, Thank you so so much for your incredibly videos. You open our eyes for so many topics in psychology. I have a daughter she is now 22 she is in London and i came back to my country Bulgaria. When she was 18 a man took her from as from everyone that is from my country. I cant communicate with her no-one can, because she is with this man 55 years old. He is manipulative very very rich, and he is from the politic world in London he said he is a free mason and he is from the Torries in the uk parliament. She is stunning beautiful and very hight intelligent close to wunderkind very hight resolds in chemistry biology and maths . She brought an award for the collage that she was study in in London. So we cant do anything to bring her back or just to talk with her. She didn't block is - me, her sister, her father and grandma, but she didnt reply at all she see but no answer. Just to mention that we are normal loving people and i guess she cant have any disorder or so ever but this man i guess he split her from us. He said he is very very religious he is Greek orthodox Christian and from the beginning they were every week at the church. So i think he is a narcissist and she may be is in decoy and cant ever escape. Do you think we can open her eyes with sending her one of your videos and i wonder witch one will be the right one for her situation. Thank you and wish you all the best🙏
So glad this subject is being discussed. My husband’s mother (mil) used to self harm and had lots of interpersonal problems. My husband is the typical braggadocios narcissist. My daughter has been diagnosed as having BPD. The older my daughter gets the more she reminds me of my mil (who passed several years ago). I’ve often wondered if there is an inherited difference in brain function which ultimately presents differently, depending on gender or other things. I’ll add that I’m raising my daughter’s kids and the 19 year old is displaying lack of empathy (among other things). I’ve heard some stories about my mil’s mother having some difficult issues.
It’s possible that these difficult personality types just keep effecting the next generation. But the similarities are uncanny.
Thank you dear sam ⚘️⚘️🥰
Cultural acceptance of narcissistic behaviors must also play a role. Add that to cultural acceptance of child abuse...
My millennial daughter was married to a man who I believe has narcissistic personality disorder. During their marriage they lived a very nice lifestyle of traveling… he was a physio to a professional athlete … during that time I was suspicious of his finances, and since their horrible divorce my suspicions have been more than confirmed. His grandiose life was an empty shell with no foundation. As a parent from the baby boomer generation, who had high aspirations for my children, I wonder what role I had in not seeing that my daughter and her husband’s life was a fantasy? How could I have missed that fact, since my own working life was very much based in reality?
My father was diagnosed BPD and I wasn’t raised or even around him very often. I’m pretty sure I have BPD or some form of Cluster B.
"Do you hear the graveyard murmurs? Then I'ts almost time. I can't wait. I just can't wait"
I really enjoy your videos! 🤩
Why don’t you work on getting more detailed information in the DSM! It lacks on narcissism
What about in terms of narcissistic behaviour being the social norm? I am living in a place with significantly lower social IQ possible due to (?)/ and a higher degree of narcissism. Is it even possible to talk about sociocultural norms collectively or would that be a fallacy due to generalizing? More importantly, in Sparatan-like places where politeness and civility are seen as weakness, is it possible to role model positive social behaviour and make a diff? Can a shift in social dynamics set new standards in social interaction, even when narcissistic tendencies tend to be high? I hope my questions reach you - I hugely respect your work. Thank you kindly for any input/ clarifying my misconceptions.
Fascinating narcissism in women vs men. What about diffs in psychopathy in women vs men? Anyone who might shed some light/ mention some studies here? Finally, what an excellent comment regarding the nature of evidence and science.
My work is based on populations in industrialized countries.
About 30% of psychopaths are female. But BPD and HPD are beginning to be considered as forms of female secondary psychopathy.
That is a turning point in my thinking, as it is opening my eyes to the conception of a Cluster-B continuum (Likely already developed). This means it might be possible to develop appropriate approaches (strategies etc as per your channel) to recognise and interact with each purely for the sake of self-preservation and of course (self-) awareness. Thank you kindly for your response, Professor and much gratitude for the opportunity to learn.
One aspect of this chanel makes me sad: I cann't pay you because you didn't had activated options for monetization like "thank you" button!
My mum and sister have anxiety all their life, wonder if they are on the n. Spectrum ...
זה היה מרתק!
Can i ask a question witch i wonder as long as i watch your videos Professor.. Does the narcissists have a intuition ?
Cold empathy. Search the channel.
Thank you
שלום, האם יש מצב שתפרסם גם בשפה העברית?
No.
Are there similarities with how autism spectrum disorders present within males versus females? Women seem to mask better than their male counterparts, which in my limited thinking suggests that female narcissistic individuals also mask better! I have a son who is on the spectrum for autism but he identifies more with autistic females as he's very good at masking the difficulties he has. My son is honest, honest to the point of causing himself anxiety, and some of his anxiety is worrying that he is narcissistic!
Insufficient data.
@@samvaknin thank you