I grew up in a chaotic, disorganized and unpredictable household. I had adhd on top of it. By the grace of God I learned to manage it through my own trial and error. Now I work with kids with ADHD at an elementary school and it is so rewarding! It feels good to be able to offer a helping hand from a place of personal experience.
I am ADHD adult, pretty organized. My 3 year old is exactly like me when I was a kid. Very smart and VERY energetic, quick to every activities, always running, jumping, falling down, so cheerful then massiv tantrums 🤣 doing lot of mess and lots of tricks, really uncontrollable :p i wouldn't say he can't focus, he can, if he like the activity. Overally he is BIG joy, very happy kid. I have daughter as well, much calmer.
My ADHD daughter is now 23. Although she has been in college for 5 years now and still trudging through she has kept her ‘eye on the prize’ throughout the process. I have no doubt she will complete her bachelors but just not in the same timeframe as her peers. She has also always held a job and lived on her own for a few years now. I could not be more proud of her. However, I see exactly what you are saying regarding the maturity level. She has come a long, long way but is still easily frustrated and I try to allow her to make her own decisions I sometimes still question her judgement. I sincerely appreciate this video and the visual to go along with it because even though she is 23 is still completely applies! Thank you!
Great example Leigh of how we can adapt and adjust. ADHD does not mean "no chance of success". People like your daughter show that there are many things we can do. Glad you found the video to be helpful. Thanks for watching! DrPaul
It's a heavy blanket you spend your whole life wearing. Medication can help however, even as an adult you'll always either feel isolated or behind others. It's important to tell yourself that "it's ok to be this person. It's who I am." Pick your friends wisely and create an inner circle whom you trust, respect, and loves you. Follow your heart whilst learning from trial and error.
I’m 46 now but, in 1980 the doctor told my mom my behaviors were because I wasn’t disciplined at home. 😂 He was so wrong. It was my teachers who knew I needed some therapy and reading time alone. It worked for quite awhile until I reached puberty. Though, I made it to adulthood and joined the Navy. The Navy gave me goals and the desire to reach those goals. While I dropped out of high school, I was able to complete my Bachelors degree and earn Summa Cum Laude as a single father working full time. Also, I’d like to mention that I was always able to pass tests without doing any homework. Not doing my homework is why I was failing high school. It always boggled my teachers how I could ace a test but, never do the work and just doodle when I was in the class. What they didn’t know was that I was listening to them but, I needed multiple stimuli.
You are not alone. I have heard this same story many times. Glad we have alternatives to a traditional education. I admire your perseverance and thank you for your service.
My son is a combo ADHD. He is a handful but he is also very charismatic, smart and innocent for his age. The first years were hard because I kept making the error in framing or measuring my child to other children and I felt bad that he was checking the boxes. I push him, but getting him evaluated was a hard decision because I did not wanted my child to be level and in the future held back because of his diagnosis. However, things became harder because he could sit still, had outburst or follow directions or speak like other children. He was kicked out of many daycares and his K year was a nightmare but after o got him diagnosed I was able to help him, I took courses and parenting children with behavioural problems, language delays and social, and separation anxiety I learn to help him. So now things are easier and I go by his rhythm and I learn to feel proud and happy of every milestone that he does and every time he moves further or learns to do something new I feel so happy because I can see he is also happier. Learning to live your life and measure your children for their own worth and you will see that things will begin to get easier.
I would like to add that I don't ever want to get out of the "job" of parenting, but rather the difficulty of the job with my child who has ADHD. I will always have the job of being a parent to my children. Thank you for this video you are amazing! 🥰
@@ieatpussy1000 Just causes more aggression in the long run. I should know. My daughter is diagnosed with anxiety, depression, bipolar and whatever they call it when one thinks the world is out to get them. I didnt notice ADHD until she was around 10 yrs of age. She displayed no symptoms. After 14, she became aggressive and high strong. Her dad pretty much handed her over at the age of 13 and has had nothing to do with her. I guess he thinks going to church every sunday and doing a little bit of preaching will relieve him from sorry abusive parenting guilt, but what do I know about that.? He damaged her and then handed her over for me to deal with, and i'm glad he did, but the child will never forget, and neither will I seeing all the bruises she had to cover up. The school would do nothing cause they were all in cahoots with one another. I believe in a belt whooping when its needed, but not over every little thing. I was raised on belt whoppings myself, but be careful with fragile minds.
I am a single mom and sometimes I think I cannot do this any longer. It destroys our relationship. IT causes despair and the wish that the destructiveness ends. This Situation is now radically changing due to a Progress in my chronic disease.
@@christinalw19 you know when mental health issued Run in the Family? Poor choice of mates, destructive relationships. His dad does Not have Control of His circumstances and we keep some contact but also some distance.
I was raised being told that ADD- this was back when it was called ADD not ADHD- was an “excuse for bad behavior and laziness” I didn’t struggle in school however I did have to really try to do well, it didn’t just come naturally. When it came to cleaning my room or something like that as a child I would start cleaning and then find a photo album and next thing I knew an hour had passed and I was sitting there making a photo collage or something like that. As an adult I started experiencing major anxiety. I don’t know if I have ADHD or just didn’t enjoy school and would have rather made something than cleaned. However now I have an 8 year old son and I see myself in him 100% We struggle daily with homework and staying focused, not making noises, or tapping something constantly on the table. He’s super intelligent but he is all over the place- just like I always have been. It’s hard at times but I love his personality and creativity. I’m so thankful their is less than a “stigma” on ADHD as their used to be.
I am pretty much constantly frustrated and it's taking a lot out of me. I feel terrible. I look at him and see him as he is. VERY smart, funny, warm, and loving. Most time I feel he's just being lazy.....but then I hear, it's not his fault, he can't help how he behaves.....SIGH He's also slick and can figure another way around the problem/obstacle (often times that's me) and try 'his logic' to get what he wants. And that's why I feel when he digs his heels in the ground and doesn't follow direction, it's him being lazy. IDK what to think....
Georgeanne, you're a good mom who has a lot on her plate. Parenting is always a challenge and often an adventure. Stick to the principles and you've got this. DrPaul
look into supplements, not drugs. adhd really dose not exists. a lot of very smart kids get accused of it. they say Einstein had it, ford, and I am missing another very brilliant person. how would you act if you were taking in more mentally than than most can all at once? I am also very firm.
My son is similar to yours - we took him to MGH to see one of the topi experts in the field - Joseph Biederman - he found a good med that helped him immensely. He's gone from a poor student casing trouble in his class to a high honor student with much better awareness and self control - important to us as we are of the overachieving ethnic family type (Greek and Albanian) Dr. Biederman of the mind that behavioral techniques don't work - but another expert - Russell Barkely who is one of the founders of CHADD and is amazing - does - so we found some books through him and our experience is that proper meds, after a proper diagnosis by an expert, plus a plan (we use Peg Dawson and Richard Guere's Smart but Scattered book and adjoining workbook/scheduler) helped him and is helping him develop habits that make up for what he lacks in executive function - for example - he's learning how to be more structured and focused by using his scheduler which is goal oriented and very specific to get his longer term projects done. He also uses short term rewards to keep his interest up for things he has big resistance towards (math or cleaning his room for example) Hope this helps - good strength!
I loved this video sooooo much and found it soooooo helpful. I come to tears when I think of the amazing changes and cooperation and communication and now initiative and empathy with my 10 year old twin boys. Both have ADHD. There was sooo much fighting before. I've been binging your fabulous helpful positive videos. Thank you Dr.Paul
My foster son(soon to be adopted son ❤️ thank God) is diagnosed with ADHD and ODD. He tries SO hard but being only 9 he has such a hard time but just in the year he's been with us he's grown so much. He still has his "bad days" as he likes to call them but we are working on not letting a bad time turn a whole day into a bad day. He's amazing and I'm trying my hardest to be patient because he deserves it. He used to throw a 2 hr tantrum almost daily and now it's closer to once or twice a week we have what we call a "major" meltdown and even those are not nearly as bad as they used to be. Thanks fo this.
@@LiveOnPurposeTV aww shucks ❤️ I feel the Holy Spirit guided me to him and his sister. Long story short, everything fell perfectly into place and when I met them everything was just right and too much of a "coincidence" to actually be a coincidence. ❤️ They are teaching me just as much as I teach them. I feel so blessed to have them, even when we have rough days. ☺️ your channel has helped us all so much and we truly appreciate everything you do!
This is really helpful. My son is 9 and high intelligence and mostly straight A report cards since he started school. We've done our best to raise him right so he's respectful to others especially when we're not around. I know from my own teaching experience that kids this age can be a handful at times. Oh, did I mention he's an only child. Might affect outcome a little. Neither his father nor I are only children in our families. Though high-achieving academically, he becomes eratic emotionally and sometimes at the drop of a hat. And if I catch him red-handed doing something we told him not to do (i. e. Playing with his tablet after he's been sent to bed for the night) he will birst into tears and scream that he's an awful child and should be punished andcwhy should he even have a tablet and on and on and on. Now, mind you I gave him a reasonable option of how to handle it and lost his mind! 😱 I hadn't yelled at him or even thought more than to just guide him to the right track so he could calmly go back to bed. No, Mr. Irrational had to throw a royal fit that lasted waaay longer than it should have. He kept saying he doesn't deserve to be forgiven and why should he have a tablet at all if he's never allowed to use it, etc...🤦 It's exhausting when you're not sure what's going to set him off. Like a hostage negotiation. He'd be really good at high school speech & debate!
Mine also. With each meltdown I can see his self esteem drop and the guilt and shame step in. I fear that he will hate himself for it as it will cost him friends etc.
I’ve watched this video like 10 times. I understand and 100% agree with them. It’s so hard with two kids with adhd and sensory processing disorder. Then my husband has adhd. It’s so hard with the mood swings.
Thank you. I needed to watch this. My 7 yr old was diagnosed with ADHD and these past few months have a been tough. I will definitely use this as a guidance with hopes that it can help my son and allow me to be more patient and less stressed. 🙏🏼
You're not alone, I am in the same boat. My 7yr old was also diagnosed recently. But I find that it helps to join some groups on social media of parents dealing with children with ADHD. I like this Chanel as well for tips. But we must thank God for trusting us with such kids. It means God He knew that we can handle kids with these challenges. It makes us stronger parents, specially for moms. I thank God the Dr that diagnosed my daughter she herself has ADHD and was diagnosed as a child. I tend to inspire my daughter giving her the example of her Dr. I tell her how amazing she is, and that she can be a Dr that deal with amazing children like her😍. Be strong for your daughter, be resourceful, never get tired nor give up. Do your own research as well, educate yourself on how to deal with ADHD child by following channels like this. Make sure you share the Dr's report with your child's school. We are blessed moms. Don't worry be happy. God bless you 🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽🙌🏽
My youngest daughter is 7 and was diagnosed. Maturity is huge this year. I have to get her on speech therapy and on a waiting list. She's impatient and speaks quickly so she talks like a kindergarten still. Tantrums, everything. So overwhelmed. I feel bad because I lost it today with her. Yelled at her. Today was a bad day but hoping I can get it together the rest of the week. It's hard when you say 12 times to do something, she stands there and shakes her head because she's already forgetting what I told her. Gah!
80sGamerLady, she may need a visual to help her memory. Get some pictures that go along with the things you normally ask of her and then she can refer to the cards or chart or however you set it up.
i gave him some more supplements, and so far it has helped. some docs say it is not neurological, it is a vitamin deficiency. I gave him more b1, magnesium, and potassium with his muti-vitamine. so if this works for you, then that just goes to show it is not a on going brain malfunction.
Thank you as a mother with a daughter with adhd some times i cry because she dint leaason teacher complaining and kids just dont want to play with her😢it hurts me❤ thank you i will Try this because i notice after when i tell her wash your dish or pick up the toys she dint lesson at first i pick them up then she wannet to play i remind her no because you dint want to pick after them she promise she will 😮them she did even she help me disinfecting the toys (covid😅) thank you!!! As before i will get very upset and no lessons learn
I love your videos doctor and thanks for doing so. We live in a society where so many parents and not parents thinks that there is always something wrong with kids . My son is 3 1/2 and I put this in practice, it work. I use to tell him or even yell asking him to get his socks or pants off he wouldn't do it I thought he was disobedient perhaps he couldn't understand. To my surprise I allow consequences a few times such as not letting him watch cartoons. One day I ask him for the same task again but this time I gave him space and told him that I was going to shower and I needed him to be ready for bath time, well he was all naked waiting for me at the door when I was done showering. Now when I ask for something most times his answer is yes mommy or not mommy but in a better voice.
I have an 9 year old with ADD (my own diagnosis, since I think i have it too. I find myself trying extremely hard to be organized, getting frustrated and impatient very easily, be socially awkward, unable to understand or follow what people say or tell me to do, keeping track of time, having mood fluctuations daily, etc). I self diagnosed this at the age of 38 and after reading so many articles on add and dyslexia, I am convinced that i definitely have it.) Now I see similar but not all traits in my kid. He was never hyperactive, infact is more of the inactive type. I don't think he completely lacks focus. He wrote a complete short book at the age of 7, started learning to code on his own by age 8 and loves to bike, swim and also loves going to school. But i do find him being less mature than his peers, socially awkward and lacking self confidence to do simple things. My own ADD and loss of patience with him as a young kid (due to his dreamy nature) might have something to do with this. My husband does not want to go to a doctor for him or label him as ADD. He is a polar opposite of me, extremely patient with my kids and a very good husband and father overall. I am very fortunate to have him in my life. This video really gave me great insight on how to deal with ADD kids. Could you please point me to videos that explain how i can deal with my kid while taking care of my own condition? Also are there any remedies for my own situation? Any brain exercises to improve memory, focus and maturity? It's just increasingly becoming difficult living with such a condition. Thank you
Mona K, thank you for watching. I do have some videos that may answer some of your questions: "How Do You Know If You Have ADHD" - ua-cam.com/video/OOr1w6z-R30/v-deo.html These next 3 are not specific to ADD, but they are about mental health: "12 Ways To Keep Your Mind Sharp" - ua-cam.com/video/yA6IGZM1jg4/v-deo.html "How To Improve Your Mental Health And Mood" - ua-cam.com/video/VJkicx2XXtw/v-deo.html "Psychological Self Care Strategies" - ua-cam.com/video/n-dfMLciVWI/v-deo.html I will add to the production list the idea of taking care of a child with ADHD while you as a parent have it as well. Best wishes.
I'd love to see more videos like this. You have some great tips in here that I'm willing to try. I enhoyed the humble attitude and I don't get a judgemental vibe from you at all, which I've felt many times, whether it be jn person or in books or videos on the topic. In some cases I find the advice comes across in a way that almost shames parents and the way we do things. It's difficult when your just doing the best you can, but I definitely feel like I learned a few things with this video. My children(1 has ADHD and the other doesn't) are getting older now. My son's diagnoses was a lot harder to deal with in prior years but he's now 10 and I worry as he's growing up so fast. I want to be ahead of the game in thaz sense so I'm trying everything I can. THANK YOU& as I mentioned above, I'd love to hear more about this. You've encouraged me to subscribe in one video. Much appreciated 😊
Thank you, HardyQuinn. I will try to figure out what else we can do to help you and others in your situation. Just remember, you are the mom your children need.
@@LiveOnPurposeTV Thank you!!! Sometimes I forget that and exactly what I need to hear. I'm going to add it to my own affirmations, so thank you again. I appreciate you🖤❤
Hello, could you tell if you took your kid to pediatrician or a private lab for ADHD diagnosis, my son pediatrician denied to do the test for him? Thank you in advance
I really enjoyed this video and it is very helpful! It sometimes feel like a never ending puzzle with what will work for my 4 year old son, however I do see progress in his behavior, from the age of 2 when ADHD behavior was first noticeable; he was recently diagnosed in December 2022, medicine helps but as a holistic momma, I resort to Ashwagandha drops instead; along with a supportive household and TEACHERS! It really makes all the difference with a child’s behavior and the amount of stress on PARENTS.
I was diagnosed at 30 and my whole family and my husband has it. My 4 year old is exhibiting many symptoms and I need solutions/advice so this video is coming at the right time. Thank you! 😆
Katarzyna rochowicz, think of natural consequences. Those are the best. Also, it is hard to personalize consequences since children are motivated differently. Brainstorm with another parent or teacher of someone who knows the child well.
I was born and raised from two disfunctional adhd parents and they made life a living hell. People who have adhd should think twice about the rammifications of having chidren if their disorder is left untreated to a degree were they can function normaly. Both my parents neglected me because they were too busy negotiating their own issues, (alcoholism gambling).and left me to fend for myself. Total chaos from an emotionaly abusive alcholic father with adhd/ and from a bipolar/adhd mother. Absolute nightmare. I'm 47 now and single and spent most of my time in therapy/drepression; cycling in and out of happiness and mania. I found peace in being alone; no family, no children to worry about because I was conditioned to think this was normal. Furthermore, I'm far from being better despite knowing more about my condition, I just wish I could start all over again with a better outcome. Anyways,I will leave at that.
We can't go back, only forward and you have decisions and choices to make now. Sounds like you have created a safe, peaceful space for yourself to exist. You have done amazing.
Thank you so much for this video. I can’t wait to put these steps into practice with my child. I really want to do everything I can to help him so I’m truly grateful for the information. Subscribed.
My son is recently been diagnosed... he is very obedient, patient and recently he has been acting so emotional. He cries alot and it breaks my heart I get really upset too sometimes,. I really need help and support in raising happy children now that one of my children is diagnosed with something I have no knoweldge.
I know this is an older video, but I was wondering, I believe my son has slipped through the “diagnosis net” and has adhd. I know I have it for sure. I was one of those that got the belt and I don’t want that for my son. I want to learn with him, but my wife and I have a really hard time talking to him about important things unless it has to do with anything car related. He’s very smart and has EVERY NASCAR (as far down as the truck series drivers), and every Monster Jam monster truck drivers names remembered, their numbers, their teams,etc down by memory. He’s 6 years old with a fantastic memory and an astounding passion for automotive sports, but has a hard time with more than one task at a time, and speaking about how he’s feeling. Once a little pressure is applied he shuts down completely. I’m at a loss for what to do and how to approach this.
My 4 year old doesn’t listen when directly speaking to her, but will hear us when we are not talking to her. She’s been doing this thing lately where she does things so she can ignore you(lookin around, stretch and yawn). We will speak to her and she will say “uh huh” but when we asked her what we said she acts like she forgot even thought we told her 5 seconds ago and she was looking dead in our face. I’ve been doing reading and stuff and it seems like I’m doing that it’s telling me but she is very strong willed and manipulative. It doesn’t help that she has moved around a lot and was in foster care twice(this is my step daughter, we just got her back last month after she was with her grandmother who took her out of foster care)
mickey1989, this child has been through a lot and will need to feel loved and accepted before she buys into requests and direction. It will take a while for her to trust that she can invest, from her short life she has learned that the arrangement is not going to last and her life will be in chaos (how children see the changes), soon so she is trying to wait you out. It will take lots of love and time. Some counseling might be in order.
Live On Purpose TV thank you, I figured it would take some time because she is used to being moved around, it’s only been about a month since we’ve gotten her, thank you for the reply, I watch a lot of your videos.
How do you cope with a husband with severe adhd and high functioning aspergers , an 8 year old son with severe adhd , and a 5 year old son with mild adhd? I’m on the verge of a nervous breakdown!
Thank you very much. What you said just opened my mind into thinking that there is hope for a child with ADHD. It just takes time and maturity. And of course, the more they got into experiences, the more they will mature and take control of their lives. This is so brilliant. You just put into words what i could not figure out. My son has ADHD. And he is now 20 yrs old. And you are very very right, there is already peace in the family. But more way to go to get the right maturity for his level. Will now give him more task again and again......You are a God gift to me. Could not thank you enough. Here from the Philippines.
I’m 18 years old. I plan to go to college. I have tried medication but it made me depressed and wasn’t worth it. I have very strong diagnosed ADHD, OCD, and Anxiety. I feel unready for college and I might need to medicate again to get through college but I don’t want to sacrifice my happiness.
Also, you might want to sign up for a course or two at a local community college first, instead of trying to take on university right away. Pushing yourself too hard academically right out of gate can cause Academic Burnout in those of us with ADHD much faster than neurotypical students. Or maybe think of considering trade school as a perfectly good alternative to traditional college if you decide that college is too much for you. As far as getting an education and finding a career goes play to your strengths with having ADHD not against them and also use whatever aid and resources whatever school you choose has on hand.
I've been diagnosed with ADHD when I was 8 years old. I'm now almost 16 & I feel I've came a long way. I was transferred to a special education school when I was in elementary school even the other parents would tell my parents I didn't belong there. When I was little I didn't think anyone took this "ADHD Thing" so seriously. I feel I might be more mature than the average for my age, unlike when I was 9 or so I was told I was very immature for my age.
I think it all works itself out with age and experience. Maybe we just need time to get to know and accept ourselves and experiment unique ways of working WITH our unique brains. That is what I am learning. Blessings in your journey!
I'm struggling and my son with adhd is really struggling. How can I help him to want to go to school and like and enjoy going to school. He says and he feels that he hates school. He has a lot of anger as well. He is 6 years old in kindergarten and we are going to a neurologist but are in the figuring out if he has other issues. I just want to help him.
He has feelings and they are real to him. Let him feel those and own them, Trina H. When he tells you something he didn't like about school, listen, and then ask him to think of something positive. We want him to look for good things and pay attention to them.
Hi my son is 14 and only this summer got diagnosed , the system failed him his whole life , so his emotions are running high and he now uses a rejection coping skill now which im working with. it is very hard and this video has helped me understand the control and maturity .
Trina H you on the right track because I see every day parents that are so selfish deny the struggle their child is dealing with because they don’t want them to be labeled. Also just talk to your son get to the bottom to why he feel that way my son was feeling the same way when I looked into it my son was being bullied so I made the adjustment by moving him to a new class and talk to the new teacher which was more experienced. It has been great he loves to go to school .Not the work so much but no complaints.
As someone diagnosed with adhd last year at 17 my social life had more to suffer than academic life. Like in school i got pretty good grades(they could’ve been better) but the thing is despite good grades in school as a kid i was known for being a mess for having a hard tine organizing and for zoning out a lot and daydreaming a lot and for being significantly more immature than my peers(i turn 18 in a few months but i feel like turning 14) and especially as a girl being a bit immature and extremely disorganized backfires on us and growing up i did have a hard time making friends and even now i do hold a lot back bcuz i’m scared of coming across as annoying. And i do have quite trouble with details and i am easily distracted and at times don’t read social ques bcuz i am distracted or “impulsive”.Like i always got along better with younger people rather than my classmates. However as disorganized and as unfocused i am if it’s something i love nobody focuses better than i do. Like i want to be an interior designer an an architect and i work really hard on sketches and when i do i actually enter into a deep focusing mode. Like i don’t hear anything my little sister came into my room and she was there for an hour and i didn’t even knew she was in the room The most frustrating part was teachers always describing me to my parents as highly intelligent but have trouble paying attention and am extremely disorganized in test papers and make “dumb mistakes like calculus and then my parents getting mad bcuz”i focus well on drawing and painting and why am i lazy in school
Maria_S, it doesn't sound like it is a matter of being lazy and not caring, but more of an issue of the ADD. Seek help, there are things you can do that will help you to focus better,
Can you provide a brief example of consequences? For example my 4 year old doesn’t take off his shoes and put them away after kinder - what are the lowest cost consequences for this? Do you mean I take away a toy he’s playing with at the time and then empathize when he gets upset? I can’t wait to try this but just unsure how to go about parts of it - thank you
I enjoy your video. My child is about 2 -3 years old and We went to a meeting with the Kinder garden and they suggest a difficult behaviour and others symptoms. It's sounds like ADHD..It's early maybe, but I want to help my kids. Thank you so much. Hugs from Norway ❤❤
Hi! Thank you for all your videos! Can you give more examples of consequences that match the offense? I have a hard time finding a consequence that will teach instead of just punishing. Thank you!
Hi Sarah - yes, consequences ideally give an opportunity for learning. I've sometimes used essays or research assignments for my older kids for that purpose. It really depends on the specific development of the child. Vicki and I are coming out with a Parenting Power-up Audio program within the next few weeks. Watch for that, I think you'll enjoy it. DrPaul
Sounds great, except that on (4) it will lead back to "Blew it" and then back to (3) and more empathy, ..... repeat, rinse repeat, rinse repeat and at some point not caring about the consequence. So, what then?
In step 3 you say to allow consequences... we are homeschooling and I am trying to implement this strategy. He is supposed to get his work done in an hour and is capable... can do it at times... but often takes up to 3 hours. It is such a waste of time and drives me bonkers. The only consequence seems that we don't have time for other things. What would be some possible consequences?
Take a look at some other videos on the Parenting Playlist, Carrina Murphy and you might find something else to try if you are looking for something. Otherwise, great job.
Thank you so much for this video!! Can you please do an update on this and how to manage this with the added stress of pandemic and how zoom has deeply affected children with adhd
Well, we have a kid that gets upset by him not being able to decide things in the household the way we as parents do, but if he is running late to school, he may start an argument that it is our responsibility if he runs late for school or not. For him it's either-or. Either he's just a kid and we are responsible for everything about and around him, or he's a person with the same level of independence as an adult. I've tried to explain that growing up happens gradually; what you can do you should do. And with freedom comes responsibility. How does one talk about these things with a ten-year-old with ADHD who tends to see things as either black or white? The grey scale just does not comute in his mind.
sara Attar, make it clear what he is responsible for in the morning, and what you are responsible for. You could even write it out since most kids do better when they see the black and white of the paper and the ink.
@@LiveOnPurposeTV Wow! I didn't think you would answer me! I'm thankful you did though! Aha, yeah that's a good idea. I did that with those tree household rules for children with ODD, it's slowly starting to sink in that the adults of this home make the rules and that we should be listened to. He hasn't accepted it yet and he gets frustrated when we don't get affected by him trying to put ultimatums on us and (on top of that) we are the ones who give him two choices in a situation of conflict. his ultimatums being something like "if you take away Fortnite I'm going take away something you like! Like, maybe your computer, how would that feel?" And I calmly answer, "I pay for your phone, and I paid for my computer. I am a grown-up, and you're my child. therefore, I make the rules. When you're a grown-up with your own household, you make the rules. You can choose to not turn off you're phone but then I will do it for you and Fortnite you will not be able to play Fortnite at all tomorrow. or you could choose to finish your game and turn the phone off yourself. either is fine with me." The last time I did this he tried to convince me that I was screaming at him (I most definitely was not), but I just gave him a smile and said that he needed to let me know what choice he had made. He tried something else but I stayed on topic. And then he actually did turn off his phone, by himself!
Dr Paul wondering if there’s an adult version of this for my 33yr old son who’s ADHD has led to some truly unfortunate choices although he’s successful in career, thanks to the education & home was able to provide. Worked wth Child Psychiatrist when he was a teen, he was on medication which helped. His father & step parent were unbeknownst to me, ie that info wasn’t around then, conducting a huge PA & smear campaign. Was a solo Mum wth my boy from when he was 4 & did all possible to be an attuned Mum. I love him beyond measure & it’s broken my heart to see what’s happened to him as a result of the smear campaign & denial of his condition. Can u or one of your team, counsel on strategy on matters like this once it gets to adulthood? Am educated in the field, but hve few resources to deal with this amount of harm from the interplay of PA & ADHD. Many thanks for all your good work.
Marianna GK, If your son, who is of age, needs help, he would best be served by contacting a counselor. Get clear on what you control and stay in that lane.
@@LiveOnPurposeTV thank you for your personal response. Indeed choose our responses & attitudes, we don’t get to choose the devastating impact of the malicious & how they impact our children, including adult children. Appreciate your input, targeting is always about destabilising & confusing so find ways to stay grounded in own life & live by own ethics. Stay well
Very helpful information but how do you do it when you realise you're also ADHD but not diagnosed and your attention span/ patience is in the way of helping your child...
My wife and I just found out my son has ADHD. What’s crazy is everyone the neurologist said about ADHD are the same symptoms I have. so I guess I have ADHD 😁 everything makes sense now lol.
Thank you a lot for the video. It provides me a lot of good insights. I’m educating myself in order to support my wife, who’s adhd. Having young kids, I know they can have it as well and I’m trying to learn as much as I can to manage them to have their own tools. If someone in the community here have links, books or experiences to share, I will be glad. Thank you, again, for the nice explanation
Yeah I noticed that about my son I know he can do it it's just he chooses not to do it and it makes me extremely frustrated because I love him and I want him to do the right things and he has ADHD problems unfortunately I have the same problem and I'm trying to figure out a way to balance out everything where we both come to an understanding with each other and work with each other I've even suggested to him for us to work together as a team and he just defines me and don't listen
Jennifer Flores, he may not be in a frame of mind yet where he can reason that out. Model for him the behavior you want him to see and be very open about what you are doing.
My son is 5 yrs old. Hates school, doesnt wanna go. He gets sad faces almost everyday. About to get kicked off the bus for spitting on a kid which I def dont condone. I doubt he did it on purpose as he has never spit on anyone at home. His teacher wants a meeting this week and I honestly dont wanna go cause I know what shes gonna tell me. These teachers expect 5 yr olds to sit down and not move all day long. Be like zombies. I dare her to say my kid needs meds at his age, especially her being a new teacher. Hes very smart, can read and write and understand things very easily. Great motor skills.
Christina Jenkins, I have a few suggestions. First, your son sounds intelligent for his age. I recommend watching this video with him and discussing it afterwards: "How To Do Hard Things For Older Kids And Teens": ua-cam.com/video/5ltYHx46SxU/v-deo.html. Second, if you haven't already, ask him why he doesn't like going to school. Calmly - and with empathy - try to help him work through the issues he is having. Lastly, speaking with the teacher might actually be helpful. I have a video on that as well, entitled "How To Talk To Your Cild's Teacher About A Problem": ua-cam.com/video/p_DZFHl_ep8/v-deo.html. Let her know what works effectively with him at home. If you're concerned about the teacher's limited experience, invite the principal to the meeting. She or he might have more realistic expectations for a 5 year old. If you would like further coaching, you might consider scheduling an appointment for a free, 25 minute breakthrough call with one of my Live On Purpose coaches at www.drpauljenkins.com/breakthroughcall.
I feel my daughter (5y old) has symptoms of ADHD as she is hyperactive, impulsive, problem in focusing , act without thinking etc ...this video is very helping for us (as parents) .Thank you so much for sharing🙏 My Query: Will she get better with the passage of time or should we consult a Dr. Without any delay? Your reply will be highly appreciated thanks again🙏
Thank you for watching the video, UB's Menu. I wish I could tell you whether or not your daughter will get better over time, however this is not within my licensure to tell you. Going to a doctor is a good idea - hopefully you can get an appointment soon, despite the pandemic. In the meantime, if you search "Live On Purpose TV ADHD," you will find quite a few more videos.
About 70-50% of people with ADHD have ADHD into adulthood. It usually stays with you. Plus ADHD gets worse with the onset of puberty and delaying diagnosis causes nothing but harm, it won't just blow over.
Give your child a task they can handle, let's say, turning in their homework. They blow it and don't turn it in. You give them empathy, Sorry you blew it. Now you can't watch TV tonight. Bummer. Give them another opportunity. Send them off to school with the work to turn in. Tell them that you know they can do it. They can turn in their work. Give them more opportunities to figure it out.
It is about putting practices and hacks into place so when ADHD figure out they are off task, they can do simple things to get them back on track and keep them there.
I have a grandson who has been diagnosed with adhd And another grandson with autism. My grandson with autism is high functioning. He’s doing good. My other grandson who is adhd is not 😞 he’s 13 yrs old. Same age as his cousin with autism. He is very defiant, refusing to accept responsibility and he is always out of control. Any suggestions!
Carlos Johansen, have the parents talk to the pediatrician and get some counseling for him. He may need medication, maybe not. That is their choice, it could help temporarily, depends on if he wants to make some changes.
@@LiveOnPurposeTV Thank You For Responding. Yes. He has seen a doctor. He was evaluated by the Local Regional Center Their Doctor. He Was Tested And Evaluated With ADHD... For The Time Being, NO MEDS. Changing His Diet Is More Likely. Reducing And Eliminating Sugars... (Breads, Rice 🍚 Pasta 🍝 ) Etc Etc Etc...
My daughter is 16 and is in both stage 1 and stage 3? She has tantrums and shouts etc as you said for stage 1 but can also be very responsible and feels a lot of empathy after calming down from an outburst and is apologetic afterwards. Any advice?
Yes, the stages are fluid, encourage the behavior that is in stage 3. Part of it could be hormones. When she is calm talk to her about how to remain in stage 3 and the reasons why we want to be there.
My daughter just started kindergarten a few weeks ago and she went from almos stage 2 to stage 1 again at 0% control because she has adhd and cant focus in school or sit still and throws tantrums :'(
Frances Lopez, change is more difficult for some children than others. Get a routine and stick to it, giving lots of praise for when she doesn't meltdown and hopefully she will come around soon.
Thank you for the video. I have a 6 year old boy with ADHD and his maturity is definitely at stage 1. Could you give an example with the stapes given for more clarification
Thank you for watching and trying to understand, Catherine Martinez. Stage 1 is when the child does not cooperate and is only doing things for him/herself. Because of this, the consequence or discipline does not require cooperation from the child. Examples would be taking away screen time, treats, or a special toy. Stage 2 behavior, there is cooperation, so you can ask the child to do an extra chore or write a short essay on how to make a better choice next time, for example. We have other videos with more ideas, but here are 2 of them: "7 Ways To Discipline Your Child" - ua-cam.com/video/G3nu1QfOUqE/v-deo.html "Consequences For Misbehavior | 6 Specific Examples" - ua-cam.com/video/Fbcwp9na04Y/v-deo.html
Thank you for the clarification. I guess that's where my 6 year old is at. I have a long way to go with him. Just pray to go to give me the patience i dont believe to have.
This is excellent! And it definitely works! I have learned that fussing get no where with my ADHD daughter.. but consequences keep me stress free and they definitely teach the lesson and make them more responsible
This video amazes me because I learned that control comes with maturity, responsibility and empathy. Changes can be made with cooperation, self discipline and communication.
Hi Heather Lackie, thanks for watching. Tasks should be things you know your child can perform, like clean their room, take out the garbage, or load the dishwasher. We have more videos on ADHD, if you wish to watch. My most recent is "How To Help A Child With ADHD Without Medication" - ua-cam.com/video/z8T5rIWqRvA/v-deo.html Others include: "How To Help Kids With ADHD" - ua-cam.com/video/wNqziiKyigY/v-deo.html "How To Get A Kid With ADHD To Focus" - ua-cam.com/video/KbB2y0rYvk4/v-deo.html "Proven Natural Remedies For ADHD In Children" - ua-cam.com/video/5IbWguzqgWo/v-deo.html
If child start laughing he cannot control his laugh, lose attention and does not realise the things can hurt during unconditional laugh and over excitement. I try to divert attention by giving options or by loving him but I cant do so. It frustrate me. Please suggest me the way what can I do to make him normal during this
Doctor Paul.. is ADHD curable? my son was in grade 4. but its difficult for him to focus on writing school works like those answers from his modules. by the time that he was matured already.. is there possible ways that they can survived in regular school, I mean how can he graduate having low grades? it's hard to join online class. he can't focus for an hours like non ADHD people did. the more I persue him the more he wants to go out like never thinking I got hurt what he did.
Thank you for this video! A process and truth that seems so obvious. It is so great and helpful to hear it explained in this way. Thank you so so much!
I feel like someone told this guy to slow down his talking. Speed up!! It's not complicated info, give some credit to your audience. Also, as someone who went undiagnosed as a child, idk how helpful this advice would have been. It doesn't seem very adhd specific. The tip about not critiquing but leading with empathy was good... but very general. And the video doesn't touch upon the fact that arguing/yelling/etc as a teen is due more to everyone around not understanding the shame of not being able to motivate to do simple tasks, and the tension this causes in a household. It's not really about maturity level.. Idk... This video was a bit reductive and it was kind of frustrating to get through. I recommend any parents reading this to watch Jessica McCabe. She has a tedtalk and a youtube channel, and she's always spot on - really gets to the root of the issue.
I grew up in a chaotic, disorganized and unpredictable household.
I had adhd on top of it. By the grace of God I learned to manage it through my own trial and error.
Now I work with kids with ADHD at an elementary school and it is so rewarding! It feels good to be able to offer a helping hand from a place of personal experience.
Sandra Chatwin, I love how you are giving back in such a meaningful way. You are changing lives and giving hope.
I'm the disorganized chaos 😭
I am ADHD adult, pretty organized. My 3 year old is exactly like me when I was a kid. Very smart and VERY energetic, quick to every activities, always running, jumping, falling down, so cheerful then massiv tantrums 🤣 doing lot of mess and lots of tricks, really uncontrollable :p i wouldn't say he can't focus, he can, if he like the activity. Overally he is BIG joy, very happy kid. I have daughter as well, much calmer.
Hi. .can you share some key points to start working with adhd child
How do I get him focused?
My ADHD daughter is now 23. Although she has been in college for 5 years now and still trudging through she has kept her ‘eye on the prize’ throughout the process. I have no doubt she will complete her bachelors but just not in the same timeframe as her peers. She has also always held a job and lived on her own for a few years now. I could not be more proud of her. However, I see exactly what you are saying regarding the maturity level. She has come a long, long way but is still easily frustrated and I try to allow her to make her own decisions I sometimes still question her judgement. I sincerely appreciate this video and the visual to go along with it because even though she is 23 is still completely applies! Thank you!
Great example Leigh of how we can adapt and adjust. ADHD does not mean "no chance of success". People like your daughter show that there are many things we can do. Glad you found the video to be helpful. Thanks for watching! DrPaul
It's a heavy blanket you spend your whole life wearing. Medication can help however, even as an adult you'll always either feel isolated or behind others. It's important to tell yourself that "it's ok to be this person. It's who I am." Pick your friends wisely and create an inner circle whom you trust, respect, and loves you. Follow your heart whilst learning from trial and error.
Nathan Sanders, this is great information, thank you.
I’m 46 now but, in 1980 the doctor told my mom my behaviors were because I wasn’t disciplined at home. 😂 He was so wrong. It was my teachers who knew I needed some therapy and reading time alone. It worked for quite awhile until I reached puberty. Though, I made it to adulthood and joined the Navy. The Navy gave me goals and the desire to reach those goals. While I dropped out of high school, I was able to complete my Bachelors degree and earn Summa Cum Laude as a single father working full time.
Also, I’d like to mention that I was always able to pass tests without doing any homework. Not doing my homework is why I was failing high school. It always boggled my teachers how I could ace a test but, never do the work and just doodle when I was in the class. What they didn’t know was that I was listening to them but, I needed multiple stimuli.
You are not alone. I have heard this same story many times. Glad we have alternatives to a traditional education. I admire your perseverance and thank you for your service.
My son is a combo ADHD. He is a handful but he is also very charismatic, smart and innocent for his age. The first years were hard because I kept making the error in framing or measuring my child to other children and I felt bad that he was checking the boxes. I push him, but getting him evaluated was a hard decision because I did not wanted my child to be level and in the future held back because of his diagnosis.
However, things became harder because he could sit still, had outburst or follow directions or speak like other children. He was kicked out of many daycares and his K year was a nightmare but after o got him diagnosed I was able to help him, I took courses and parenting children with behavioural problems, language delays and social, and separation anxiety I learn to help him.
So now things are easier and I go by his rhythm and I learn to feel proud and happy of every milestone that he does and every time he moves further or learns to do something new I feel so happy because I can see he is also happier.
Learning to live your life and measure your children for their own worth and you will see that things will begin to get easier.
Thank you for sharing. I am sure this will help other parents in their journey to be the parent their child needs. You are leading out in this area.
I would like to add that I don't ever want to get out of the "job" of parenting, but rather the difficulty of the job with my child who has ADHD. I will always have the job of being a parent to my children. Thank you for this video you are amazing! 🥰
Thank you, piesquared. Best of luck to you and your family.
My son doesn’t learn from his mistakes, and does things over and over
I assume he has ADHD, Joski mom Cadden. These kids will eventually understand, they just take longer. Thank you for showing up for your son everyday.
Use the belt.
@@ieatpussy1000 A belt is not always the answer.
@@Soul_N_Control for adhd, yes it is.
@@ieatpussy1000 Just causes more aggression in the long run. I should know. My daughter is diagnosed with anxiety, depression, bipolar and whatever they call it when one thinks the world is out to get them. I didnt notice ADHD until she was around 10 yrs of age. She displayed no symptoms. After 14, she became aggressive and high strong. Her dad pretty much handed her over at the age of 13 and has had nothing to do with her. I guess he thinks going to church every sunday and doing a little bit of preaching will relieve him from sorry abusive parenting guilt, but what do I know about that.? He damaged her and then handed her over for me to deal with, and i'm glad he did, but the child will never forget, and neither will I seeing all the bruises she had to cover up. The school would do nothing cause they were all in cahoots with one another.
I believe in a belt whooping when its needed, but not over every little thing. I was raised on belt whoppings myself, but be careful with fragile minds.
I am a single mom and sometimes I think I cannot do this any longer. It destroys our relationship. IT causes despair and the wish that the destructiveness ends. This Situation is now radically changing due to a Progress in my chronic disease.
I'm sorry to hear this. There is always hope. Please love, no matter what.
Just know that other parents are in the exact same boat. It’s tough but at least there’s a lot more tools and knowledge out there now.
Where is the Dad? Too much for 1. Can you work it out? 🙏🏼🤍🕊
@@christinalw19 you know when mental health issued Run in the Family? Poor choice of mates, destructive relationships. His dad does Not have Control of His circumstances and we keep some contact but also some distance.
I was raised being told that ADD- this was back when it was called ADD not ADHD- was an “excuse for bad behavior and laziness” I didn’t struggle in school however I did have to really try to do well, it didn’t just come naturally. When it came to cleaning my room or something like that as a child I would start cleaning and then find a photo album and next thing I knew an hour had passed and I was sitting there making a photo collage or something like that. As an adult I started experiencing major anxiety. I don’t know if I have ADHD or just didn’t enjoy school and would have rather made something than cleaned. However now I have an 8 year old son and I see myself in him 100% We struggle daily with homework and staying focused, not making noises, or tapping something constantly on the table. He’s super intelligent but he is all over the place- just like I always have been. It’s hard at times but I love his personality and creativity. I’m so thankful their is less than a “stigma” on ADHD as their used to be.
C Miller, I love that you are focusing on the positives of your child. Stay in tune to his strengths. You are the mother your son needs.
@@LiveOnPurposeTV and now I’m crying. Exactly the words I needed. Thank you.
I am pretty much constantly frustrated and it's taking a lot out of me. I feel terrible. I look at him and see him as he is. VERY smart, funny, warm, and loving. Most time I feel he's just being lazy.....but then I hear, it's not his fault, he can't help how he behaves.....SIGH
He's also slick and can figure another way around the problem/obstacle (often times that's me) and try 'his logic' to get what he wants. And that's why I feel when he digs his heels in the ground and doesn't follow direction, it's him being lazy. IDK what to think....
Georgeanne, you're a good mom who has a lot on her plate. Parenting is always a challenge and often an adventure. Stick to the principles and you've got this. DrPaul
Thanks Dr. Paul!!
look into supplements, not drugs. adhd really dose not exists. a lot of very smart kids get accused of it. they say Einstein had it, ford, and I am missing another very brilliant person. how would you act if you were taking in more mentally than than most can all at once? I am also very firm.
My son is 12 years old and he is just as you described your son
My son is similar to yours - we took him to MGH to see one of the topi experts in the field - Joseph Biederman - he found a good med that helped him immensely. He's gone from a poor student casing trouble in his class to a high honor student with much better awareness and self control - important to us as we are of the overachieving ethnic family type (Greek and Albanian) Dr. Biederman of the mind that behavioral techniques don't work - but another expert - Russell Barkely who is one of the founders of CHADD and is amazing - does - so we found some books through him and our experience is that proper meds, after a proper diagnosis by an expert, plus a plan (we use Peg Dawson and Richard Guere's Smart but Scattered book and adjoining workbook/scheduler) helped him and is helping him develop habits that make up for what he lacks in executive function - for example - he's learning how to be more structured and focused by using his scheduler which is goal oriented and very specific to get his longer term projects done. He also uses short term rewards to keep his interest up for things he has big resistance towards (math or cleaning his room for example)
Hope this helps - good strength!
I loved this video sooooo much and found it soooooo helpful. I come to tears when I think of the amazing changes and cooperation and communication and now initiative and empathy with my 10 year old twin boys. Both have ADHD. There was sooo much fighting before. I've been binging your fabulous helpful positive videos. Thank you Dr.Paul
Vicki Bird, thank you for letting me know the videos are helping. You got this!
My foster son(soon to be adopted son ❤️ thank God) is diagnosed with ADHD and ODD. He tries SO hard but being only 9 he has such a hard time but just in the year he's been with us he's grown so much. He still has his "bad days" as he likes to call them but we are working on not letting a bad time turn a whole day into a bad day. He's amazing and I'm trying my hardest to be patient because he deserves it. He used to throw a 2 hr tantrum almost daily and now it's closer to once or twice a week we have what we call a "major" meltdown and even those are not nearly as bad as they used to be. Thanks fo this.
Carlie Flowers, you are amazing. I am glad you came into this boy's life.
@@LiveOnPurposeTV aww shucks ❤️ I feel the Holy Spirit guided me to him and his sister. Long story short, everything fell perfectly into place and when I met them everything was just right and too much of a "coincidence" to actually be a coincidence. ❤️ They are teaching me just as much as I teach them. I feel so blessed to have them, even when we have rough days. ☺️ your channel has helped us all so much and we truly appreciate everything you do!
This is really helpful. My son is 9 and high intelligence and mostly straight A report cards since he started school. We've done our best to raise him right so he's respectful to others especially when we're not around.
I know from my own teaching experience that kids this age can be a handful at times. Oh, did I mention he's an only child. Might affect outcome a little. Neither his father nor I are only children in our families.
Though high-achieving academically, he becomes eratic emotionally and sometimes at the drop of a hat. And if I catch him red-handed doing something we told him not to do (i. e. Playing with his tablet after he's been sent to bed for the night) he will birst into tears and scream that he's an awful child and should be punished andcwhy should he even have a tablet and on and on and on. Now, mind you I gave him a reasonable option of how to handle it and lost his mind! 😱 I hadn't yelled at him or even thought more than to just guide him to the right track so he could calmly go back to bed. No, Mr. Irrational had to throw a royal fit that lasted waaay longer than it should have. He kept saying he doesn't deserve to be forgiven and why should he have a tablet at all if he's never allowed to use it, etc...🤦
It's exhausting when you're not sure what's going to set him off. Like a hostage negotiation. He'd be really good at high school speech & debate!
E. J. Grandmaison, tell him you are not going to discuss those things. You want the tablet put up and that is the end of the incident. Leave the room.
Mine also. With each meltdown I can see his self esteem drop and the guilt and shame step in. I fear that he will hate himself for it as it will cost him friends etc.
I’ve watched this video like 10 times. I understand and 100% agree with them. It’s so hard with two kids with adhd and sensory processing disorder. Then my husband has adhd. It’s so hard with the mood swings.
Arvilla Morett, it is so difficult. I am glad the video is helpful. One day at a time.
Your statement at the end made me cry. Thank you for doing this.
My pleasure
I don't know what it is but Dr. Jenkins has one hell of a presence when speaking. That graph is very helpful.
Wonderful! Thanks for letting me know.
Very helpful explanations! Would appreciate more videos on helping a child with ADHD. Especially concerning school work. Thank you!
Gina McGrew, one of the number one concerns of parents with ADHD children, it is added to the list.
I 2nd 3rd 4th and 5th that!!!
Omg yes me too
@@janessaw.9412 Me too .. help lol
I feel like this guy is talking directly to me, and I appreciate that
Michael Lee, you are not alone in your struggles.
Thank you. I needed to watch this. My 7 yr old was diagnosed with ADHD and these past few months have a been tough. I will definitely use this as a guidance with hopes that it can help my son and allow me to be more patient and less stressed. 🙏🏼
Teodora Dubon, you are welcome, thanks for being a part of our community.
You're not alone, I am in the same boat. My 7yr old was also diagnosed recently. But I find that it helps to join some groups on social media of parents dealing with children with ADHD. I like this Chanel as well for tips. But we must thank God for trusting us with such kids. It means God He knew that we can handle kids with these challenges. It makes us stronger parents, specially for moms. I thank God the Dr that diagnosed my daughter she herself has ADHD and was diagnosed as a child. I tend to inspire my daughter giving her the example of her Dr. I tell her how amazing she is, and that she can be a Dr that deal with amazing children like her😍. Be strong for your daughter, be resourceful, never get tired nor give up. Do your own research as well, educate yourself on how to deal with ADHD child by following channels like this. Make sure you share the Dr's report with your child's school. We are blessed moms. Don't worry be happy. God bless you 🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽🙌🏽
My youngest daughter is 7 and was diagnosed. Maturity is huge this year. I have to get her on speech therapy and on a waiting list. She's impatient and speaks quickly so she talks like a kindergarten still. Tantrums, everything. So overwhelmed. I feel bad because I lost it today with her. Yelled at her. Today was a bad day but hoping I can get it together the rest of the week. It's hard when you say 12 times to do something, she stands there and shakes her head because she's already forgetting what I told her. Gah!
80sGamerLady, she may need a visual to help her memory. Get some pictures that go along with the things you normally ask of her and then she can refer to the cards or chart or however you set it up.
i gave him some more supplements, and so far it has helped. some docs say it is not neurological, it is a vitamin deficiency. I gave him more b1, magnesium, and potassium with his muti-vitamine. so if this works for you, then that just goes to show it is not a on going brain malfunction.
Always a relief to find some solutions. DrPaul
I agree, with adhd I found out 2 common threads...diet and excercise. Almoat everything I have researched those two topics came up as a culprit.
Which mili-vitamin did you use
3 is so so important! Consequences plus empathy!
Sergio McG, yes, we need to balance them.
When you’re a parent with adhd and trying to concentrate but reading the comments and typing this comment instead.🤦♂️
Nick Chatzi, I get it. It may take you a bit longer, but you can get there.
Thank you as a mother with a daughter with adhd some times i cry because she dint leaason teacher complaining and kids just dont want to play with her😢it hurts me❤ thank you i will
Try this because i notice after when i tell her wash your dish or pick up the toys she dint lesson at first i pick them up then she wannet to play i remind her no because you dint want to pick after them she promise she will 😮them she did even she help me disinfecting the toys (covid😅) thank you!!! As before i will get very upset and no lessons learn
Love her no matter what and even if... Praise her and reward her for the behavior you want to see.
Overdiagnosis in boys or kids who exhibit the loud behaviours maybe, but massive under diagnosis in girls or kids who don’t but are struggling hard
Vicki Green, thank you for the comment.
I love how you reply to every comment I loved your for teens/kids playlist
Thank you.
I love your videos doctor and thanks for doing so. We live in a society where so many parents and not parents thinks that there is always something wrong with kids . My son is 3 1/2 and I put this in practice, it work. I use to tell him or even yell asking him to get his socks or pants off he wouldn't do it I thought he was disobedient perhaps he couldn't understand. To my surprise I allow consequences a few times such as not letting him watch cartoons. One day I ask him for the same task again but this time I gave him space and told him that I was going to shower and I needed him to be ready for bath time, well he was all naked waiting for me at the door when I was done showering. Now when I ask for something most times his answer is yes mommy or not mommy but in a better voice.
incony constanza, what a wonderful post, thank you for sharing.
I have an 9 year old with ADD (my own diagnosis, since I think i have it too. I find myself trying extremely hard to be organized, getting frustrated and impatient very easily, be socially awkward, unable to understand or follow what people say or tell me to do, keeping track of time, having mood fluctuations daily, etc). I self diagnosed this at the age of 38 and after reading so many articles on add and dyslexia, I am convinced that i definitely have it.)
Now I see similar but not all traits in my kid. He was never hyperactive, infact is more of the inactive type. I don't think he completely lacks focus. He wrote a complete short book at the age of 7, started learning to code on his own by age 8 and loves to bike, swim and also loves going to school. But i do find him being less mature than his peers, socially awkward and lacking self confidence to do simple things. My own ADD and loss of patience with him as a young kid (due to his dreamy nature) might have something to do with this.
My husband does not want to go to a doctor for him or label him as ADD. He is a polar opposite of me, extremely patient with my kids and a very good husband and father overall. I am very fortunate to have him in my life.
This video really gave me great insight on how to deal with ADD kids. Could you please point
me to videos that explain how i can deal with my kid while taking care of my own condition?
Also are there any remedies for my own situation? Any brain exercises to improve memory, focus and maturity? It's just increasingly becoming difficult living with such a condition. Thank you
Mona K, thank you for watching. I do have some videos that may answer some of your questions:
"How Do You Know If You Have ADHD" - ua-cam.com/video/OOr1w6z-R30/v-deo.html
These next 3 are not specific to ADD, but they are about mental health:
"12 Ways To Keep Your Mind Sharp" - ua-cam.com/video/yA6IGZM1jg4/v-deo.html
"How To Improve Your Mental Health And Mood" - ua-cam.com/video/VJkicx2XXtw/v-deo.html
"Psychological Self Care Strategies" - ua-cam.com/video/n-dfMLciVWI/v-deo.html
I will add to the production list the idea of taking care of a child with ADHD while you as a parent have it as well. Best wishes.
Check out the channel "How to ADHD" . She has ADHD herself and does lots of videos about how to cope, etc.
Your not alone, probably a great worker when focus on something you love! Do that
YOU ARE A AMAZING ! MY LIFE IS CHANGING ALREADY !!!!
Honored to be on your team, Maria Fabbrocini. Thank you for being a part of Live On Purpose.
I'd love to see more videos like this. You have some great tips in here that I'm willing to try. I enhoyed the humble attitude and I don't get a judgemental vibe from you at all, which I've felt many times, whether it be jn person or in books or videos on the topic. In some cases I find the advice comes across in a way that almost shames parents and the way we do things. It's difficult when your just doing the best you can, but I definitely feel like I learned a few things with this video. My children(1 has ADHD and the other doesn't) are getting older now. My son's diagnoses was a lot harder to deal with in prior years but he's now 10 and I worry as he's growing up so fast. I want to be ahead of the game in thaz sense so I'm trying everything I can. THANK YOU& as I mentioned above, I'd love to hear more about this. You've encouraged me to subscribe in one video. Much appreciated 😊
Thank you, HardyQuinn. I will try to figure out what else we can do to help you and others in your situation. Just remember, you are the mom your children need.
@@LiveOnPurposeTV Thank you!!! Sometimes I forget that and exactly what I need to hear.
I'm going to add it to my own affirmations, so thank you again. I appreciate you🖤❤
My son has just been diagnosed with ADHD and I’m frankly scared though I keep a brave face on. Thank you for this video!
Honored to be a part of your team.
Hello, could you tell if you took your kid to pediatrician or a private lab for ADHD diagnosis, my son pediatrician denied to do the test for him? Thank you in advance
@@familyadventures4277 For me, I asked for a referral to a developmental pediatrician and they diagnosed.
I really enjoyed this video and it is very helpful! It sometimes feel like a never ending puzzle with what will work for my 4 year old son, however I do see progress in his behavior, from the age of 2 when ADHD behavior was first noticeable; he was recently diagnosed in December 2022, medicine helps but as a holistic momma, I resort to Ashwagandha drops instead; along with a supportive household and TEACHERS! It really makes all the difference with a child’s behavior and the amount of stress on PARENTS.
Thank you for sharing. I am sure this will help others. You are the mother your son needs.
@@LiveOnPurposeTV Thank you so much! Those words really mean a lot. 🫶🏾💪🏾
I was diagnosed at 30 and my whole family and my husband has it. My 4 year old is exhibiting many symptoms and I need solutions/advice so this video is coming at the right time. Thank you! 😆
You are very welcome, honored to be on your team.
Could you give an example of the task and the consequence please?
Katarzyna rochowicz, think of natural consequences. Those are the best. Also, it is hard to personalize consequences since children are motivated differently. Brainstorm with another parent or teacher of someone who knows the child well.
I was born and raised from two disfunctional adhd parents and they made life a living hell. People who have adhd should think twice about the rammifications of having chidren if their disorder is left untreated to a degree were they can function normaly. Both my parents neglected me because they were too busy negotiating their own issues, (alcoholism gambling).and left me to fend for myself. Total chaos from an emotionaly abusive alcholic father with adhd/ and from a bipolar/adhd mother. Absolute nightmare. I'm 47 now and single and spent most of my time in therapy/drepression; cycling in and out of happiness and mania. I found peace in being alone; no family, no children to worry about because I was conditioned to think this was normal. Furthermore, I'm far from being better despite knowing more about my condition, I just wish I could start all over again with a better outcome. Anyways,I will leave at that.
We can't go back, only forward and you have decisions and choices to make now. Sounds like you have created a safe, peaceful space for yourself to exist. You have done amazing.
Unfortunately my parents were the ones yelling and screaming.
StormBerryMC, that makes me sad to hear. Hopefully they can find a different way to parent.
3 mins in and I’m already IN 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
Wonderful.
Thank you so much for this video. I can’t wait to put these steps into practice with my child. I really want to do everything I can to help him so I’m truly grateful for the information. Subscribed.
You are so welcome! Thanks for the sub, please share with others who could benefit. Thanks!
Agree, and it is that we need to be basically in a on the goo mode.
Posive reinforce them with the things they like.
Thank you
Mrs. Shelly Perez, I love positive reinforcement.
My son is recently been diagnosed... he is very obedient, patient and recently he has been acting so emotional. He cries alot and it breaks my heart I get really upset too sometimes,. I really need help and support in raising happy children now that one of my children is diagnosed with something I have no knoweldge.
Seek as much knowledge as you can and seek others online who are dealing with the same issues so you can support one another.
Very helpful! Thank you
You are very welcome.
I know this is an older video, but I was wondering, I believe my son has slipped through the “diagnosis net” and has adhd. I know I have it for sure. I was one of those that got the belt and I don’t want that for my son. I want to learn with him, but my wife and I have a really hard time talking to him about important things unless it has to do with anything car related. He’s very smart and has EVERY NASCAR (as far down as the truck series drivers), and every Monster Jam monster truck drivers names remembered, their numbers, their teams,etc down by memory. He’s 6 years old with a fantastic memory and an astounding passion for automotive sports, but has a hard time with more than one task at a time, and speaking about how he’s feeling. Once a little pressure is applied he shuts down completely. I’m at a loss for what to do and how to approach this.
justpoulson, you need to have him tested. There might be some other things going on that should be addressed.
My 4 year old doesn’t listen when directly speaking to her, but will hear us when we are not talking to her. She’s been doing this thing lately where she does things so she can ignore you(lookin around, stretch and yawn). We will speak to her and she will say “uh huh” but when we asked her what we said she acts like she forgot even thought we told her 5 seconds ago and she was looking dead in our face. I’ve been doing reading and stuff and it seems like I’m doing that it’s telling me but she is very strong willed and manipulative. It doesn’t help that she has moved around a lot and was in foster care twice(this is my step daughter, we just got her back last month after she was with her grandmother who took her out of foster care)
mickey1989, this child has been through a lot and will need to feel loved and accepted before she buys into requests and direction. It will take a while for her to trust that she can invest, from her short life she has learned that the arrangement is not going to last and her life will be in chaos (how children see the changes), soon so she is trying to wait you out. It will take lots of love and time. Some counseling might be in order.
Live On Purpose TV thank you, I figured it would take some time because she is used to being moved around, it’s only been about a month since we’ve gotten her, thank you for the reply, I watch a lot of your videos.
This made so much sense it’s ridiculous
Nightwing Octopus, I love it.
These are some interesting strategies - I'd love to see some updates with the new research that we have today!
Agreed, this probably needs some updating.
How do you cope with a husband with severe adhd and high functioning aspergers , an 8 year old son with severe adhd , and a 5 year old son with mild adhd? I’m on the verge of a nervous breakdown!
Dani Girl, you need to practice self-care. Time for you needs to be put into the schedule so you do not burn out.
Thank you very much. What you said just opened my mind into thinking that there is hope for a child with ADHD. It just takes time and maturity. And of course, the more they got into experiences, the more they will mature and take control of their lives. This is so brilliant. You just put into words what i could not figure out. My son has ADHD. And he is now 20 yrs old. And you are very very right, there is already peace in the family. But more way to go to get the right maturity for his level. Will now give him more task again and again......You are a God gift to me. Could not thank you enough.
Here from the Philippines.
aj ocampo, there is always hope. Glad you found the channel and are a part of our community.
I’m 18 years old. I plan to go to college. I have tried medication but it made me depressed and wasn’t worth it. I have very strong diagnosed ADHD, OCD, and Anxiety. I feel unready for college and I might need to medicate again to get through college but I don’t want to sacrifice my happiness.
SLICEandDICE, talk to our doctor and see if there any new options out there that might help.
Have you ever tried to meditate and do sports daily? Getting your dopamine going
Also, you might want to sign up for a course or two at a local community college first, instead of trying to take on university right away. Pushing yourself too hard academically right out of gate can cause Academic Burnout in those of us with ADHD much faster than neurotypical students. Or maybe think of considering trade school as a perfectly good alternative to traditional college if you decide that college is too much for you. As far as getting an education and finding a career goes play to your strengths with having ADHD not against them and also use whatever aid and resources whatever school you choose has on hand.
I've been diagnosed with ADHD when I was 8 years old. I'm now almost 16 & I feel I've came a long way. I was transferred to a special education school when I was in elementary school even the other parents would tell my parents I didn't belong there. When I was little I didn't think anyone took this "ADHD Thing" so seriously. I feel I might be more mature than the average for my age, unlike when I was 9 or so I was told I was very immature for my age.
Wazley, it sounds like you are mature. Glad you got the help you needed and have figured out how to work through some of your challenges.
I think it all works itself out with age and experience. Maybe we just need time to get to know and accept ourselves and experiment unique ways of working WITH our unique brains. That is what I am learning. Blessings in your journey!
I'm struggling and my son with adhd is really struggling. How can I help him to want to go to school and like and enjoy going to school. He says and he feels that he hates school. He has a lot of anger as well. He is 6 years old in kindergarten and we are going to a neurologist but are in the figuring out if he has other issues. I just want to help him.
I love everything you said,thank you
He has feelings and they are real to him. Let him feel those and own them, Trina H. When he tells you something he didn't like about school, listen, and then ask him to think of something positive. We want him to look for good things and pay attention to them.
Hi my son is 14 and only this summer got diagnosed , the system failed him his whole life , so his emotions are running high and he now uses a rejection coping skill now which im working with. it is very hard and this video has helped me understand the control and maturity .
Same here. He’s struggling. I’m appalled at the teachers and school. It’s so hard.
Trina H you on the right track because I see every day parents that are so selfish deny the struggle their child is dealing with because they don’t want them to be labeled. Also just talk to your son get to the bottom to why he feel that way my son was feeling the same way when I looked into it my son was being bullied so I made the adjustment by moving him to a new class and talk to the new teacher which was more experienced. It has been great he loves to go to school .Not the work so much but no complaints.
As someone diagnosed with adhd last year at 17 my social life had more to suffer than academic life. Like in school i got pretty good grades(they could’ve been better) but the thing is despite good grades in school as a kid i was known for being a mess for having a hard tine organizing and for zoning out a lot and daydreaming a lot and for being significantly more immature than my peers(i turn 18 in a few months but i feel like turning 14) and especially as a girl being a bit immature and extremely disorganized backfires on us and growing up i did have a hard time making friends and even now i do hold a lot back bcuz i’m scared of coming across as annoying. And i do have quite trouble with details and i am easily distracted and at times don’t read social ques bcuz i am distracted or “impulsive”.Like i always got along better with younger people rather than my classmates. However as disorganized and as unfocused i am if it’s something i love nobody focuses better than i do. Like i want to be an interior designer an an architect and i work really hard on sketches and when i do i actually enter into a deep focusing mode. Like i don’t hear anything my little sister came into my room and she was there for an hour and i didn’t even knew she was in the room
The most frustrating part was teachers always describing me to my parents as highly intelligent but have trouble paying attention and am extremely disorganized in test papers and make “dumb mistakes like calculus and then my parents getting mad bcuz”i focus well on drawing and painting and why am i lazy in school
Maria_S, it doesn't sound like it is a matter of being lazy and not caring, but more of an issue of the ADD. Seek help, there are things you can do that will help you to focus better,
Can you provide a brief example of consequences? For example my 4 year old doesn’t take off his shoes and put them away after kinder - what are the lowest cost consequences for this? Do you mean I take away a toy he’s playing with at the time and then empathize when he gets upset? I can’t wait to try this but just unsure how to go about parts of it - thank you
There is no blood test but there is SPECT Immaging. SPECT measures brain activity in real time so you can see over/under active regions of the brain.
Yes, there have been some great medical advances to give us more information.
My son was diagnosed,he’s six. He’s still at stage 1. I don’t know what else to do. This video is helpful and hoping to implement the tips.
View it is a journey and you are going to try some things that work and some that don't, just keep loving him no matter what and even if...
I enjoy your video. My child is about 2 -3 years old and We went to a meeting with the Kinder garden and they suggest a difficult behaviour and others symptoms. It's sounds like ADHD..It's early maybe, but I want to help my kids. Thank you so much. Hugs from Norway ❤❤
Thank you for watching, 25johis. Honored to be on your team.
Hi! Thank you for all your videos! Can you give more examples of consequences that match the offense? I have a hard time finding a consequence that will teach instead of just punishing. Thank you!
Hi Sarah - yes, consequences ideally give an opportunity for learning. I've sometimes used essays or research assignments for my older kids for that purpose. It really depends on the specific development of the child. Vicki and I are coming out with a Parenting Power-up Audio program within the next few weeks. Watch for that, I think you'll enjoy it. DrPaul
That's what I was thinking
Sounds great, except that on (4) it will lead back to "Blew it" and then back to (3) and more empathy, ..... repeat, rinse repeat, rinse repeat and at some point not caring about the consequence. So, what then?
Dan Almeida, have you tried it? We need to have lots of love in there with the discipline and I think it can work.
This may be the best and most informative video I have ever seen. On point. Thank you!
Glad it was helpful!
What if they don’t learn about the consequences, and continue to repeat over and over
It takes more reinforcement and sometimes a new strategy. Brainstorm with other moms of ADHD kids about what has worked.
Austin Carlson Well trained zombie circus seal is definitely the ultimate goal tho, can’t lose sight of that. Keep your eye on the prize.
@@Anonymous-tk9re Trained Zombie Circus Seal sounds like a Metal Band name.
Loving the way he explains. Hes funny too!
Very helpful.. thanks for the tips!
Glad you enjoyed!
In step 3 you say to allow consequences... we are homeschooling and I am trying to implement this strategy. He is supposed to get his work done in an hour and is capable... can do it at times... but often takes up to 3 hours. It is such a waste of time and drives me bonkers. The only consequence seems that we don't have time for other things. What would be some possible consequences?
Try to reward him with something positive for getting it done in "x" amount of time. It may work better to use a positive carrot.
I don't think this will work for my kid because it's pretty much what I already do.
Take a look at some other videos on the Parenting Playlist, Carrina Murphy and you might find something else to try if you are looking for something. Otherwise, great job.
Each child is different..we as parents need to figure out what works best for us..it's the toughest role on the planet..
Thank you so much for this video!! Can you please do an update on this and how to manage this with the added stress of pandemic and how zoom has deeply affected children with adhd
Rosemary Beyer, Thanks. We have done a video about the pandemic and kids. Here is one: ua-cam.com/video/ydrz_e8POOs/v-deo.html
Perfectly explained..
Thank you.
Well, we have a kid that gets upset by him not being able to decide things in the household the way we as parents do, but if he is running late to school, he may start an argument that it is our responsibility if he runs late for school or not. For him it's either-or. Either he's just a kid and we are responsible for everything about and around him, or he's a person with the same level of independence as an adult. I've tried to explain that growing up happens gradually; what you can do you should do. And with freedom comes responsibility.
How does one talk about these things with a ten-year-old with ADHD who tends to see things as either black or white? The grey scale just does not comute in his mind.
sara Attar, make it clear what he is responsible for in the morning, and what you are responsible for. You could even write it out since most kids do better when they see the black and white of the paper and the ink.
@@LiveOnPurposeTV Wow! I didn't think you would answer me! I'm thankful you did though!
Aha, yeah that's a good idea. I did that with those tree household rules for children with ODD, it's slowly starting to sink in that the adults of this home make the rules and that we should be listened to.
He hasn't accepted it yet and he gets frustrated when we don't get affected by him trying to put ultimatums on us and (on top of that) we are the ones who give him two choices in a situation of conflict. his ultimatums being something like "if you take away Fortnite I'm going take away something you like! Like, maybe your computer, how would that feel?" And I calmly answer, "I pay for your phone, and I paid for my computer. I am a grown-up, and you're my child. therefore, I make the rules. When you're a grown-up with your own household, you make the rules. You can choose to not turn off you're phone but then I will do it for you and Fortnite you will not be able to play Fortnite at all tomorrow. or you could choose to finish your game and turn the phone off yourself. either is fine with me."
The last time I did this he tried to convince me that I was screaming at him (I most definitely was not), but I just gave him a smile and said that he needed to let me know what choice he had made. He tried something else but I stayed on topic. And then he actually did turn off his phone, by himself!
What happens when they have been diagnosed w hyperactive but on medication for epilepsy how do I find balance
I am not sure, you will need to get your pediatricians to consult with you.
That graph 👏🏾explained soo wellllll
Thank you!
Dr Paul wondering if there’s an adult version of this for my 33yr old son who’s ADHD has led to some truly unfortunate choices although he’s successful in career, thanks to the education & home was able to provide. Worked wth Child Psychiatrist when he was a teen, he was on medication which helped. His father & step parent were unbeknownst to me, ie that info wasn’t around then, conducting a huge PA & smear campaign.
Was a solo Mum wth my boy from when he was 4 & did all possible to be an attuned Mum. I love him beyond measure & it’s broken my heart to see what’s happened to him as a result of the smear campaign & denial of his condition. Can u or one of your team, counsel on strategy on matters like this once it gets to adulthood? Am educated in the field, but hve few resources to deal with this amount of harm from the interplay of PA & ADHD.
Many thanks for all your good work.
Marianna GK, If your son, who is of age, needs help, he would best be served by contacting a counselor. Get clear on what you control and stay in that lane.
@@LiveOnPurposeTV thank you for your personal response. Indeed choose our responses & attitudes, we don’t get to choose the devastating impact of the malicious & how they impact our children, including adult children.
Appreciate your input, targeting is always about destabilising & confusing so find ways to stay grounded in own life & live by own ethics.
Stay well
Very helpful information but how do you do it when you realise you're also ADHD but not diagnosed and your attention span/ patience is in the way of helping your child...
momo, do the best you can and seek treatment. There are things you can do that will help you remember and learn how to pay attention.
My wife and I just found out my son has ADHD. What’s crazy is everyone the neurologist said about ADHD are the same symptoms I have. so I guess I have ADHD 😁 everything makes sense now lol.
Ray Alva, hopefully you can hep one another.
Thank you a lot for the video. It provides me a lot of good insights. I’m educating myself in order to support my wife, who’s adhd. Having young kids, I know they can have it as well and I’m trying to learn as much as I can to manage them to have their own tools. If someone in the community here have links, books or experiences to share, I will be glad. Thank you, again, for the nice explanation
Paulo Bottas - Music, I am glad you are in our supportive community.
I'm
Yeah I noticed that about my son I know he can do it it's just he chooses not to do it and it makes me extremely frustrated because I love him and I want him to do the right things and he has ADHD problems unfortunately I have the same problem and I'm trying to figure out a way to balance out everything where we both come to an understanding with each other and work with each other I've even suggested to him for us to work together as a team and he just defines me and don't listen
Jennifer Flores, he may not be in a frame of mind yet where he can reason that out. Model for him the behavior you want him to see and be very open about what you are doing.
My son is 5 yrs old. Hates school, doesnt wanna go. He gets sad faces almost everyday. About to get kicked off the bus for spitting on a kid which I def dont condone. I doubt he did it on purpose as he has never spit on anyone at home. His teacher wants a meeting this week and I honestly dont wanna go cause I know what shes gonna tell me. These teachers expect 5 yr olds to sit down and not move all day long. Be like zombies. I dare her to say my kid needs meds at his age, especially her being a new teacher.
Hes very smart, can read and write and understand things very easily. Great motor skills.
Christina Jenkins, I have a few suggestions. First, your son sounds intelligent for his age. I recommend watching this video with him and discussing it afterwards: "How To Do Hard Things For Older Kids And Teens": ua-cam.com/video/5ltYHx46SxU/v-deo.html. Second, if you haven't already, ask him why he doesn't like going to school. Calmly - and with empathy - try to help him work through the issues he is having. Lastly, speaking with the teacher might actually be helpful. I have a video on that as well, entitled "How To Talk To Your Cild's Teacher About A Problem": ua-cam.com/video/p_DZFHl_ep8/v-deo.html. Let her know what works effectively with him at home. If you're concerned about the teacher's limited experience, invite the principal to the meeting. She or he might have more realistic expectations for a 5 year old. If you would like further coaching, you might consider scheduling an appointment for a free, 25 minute breakthrough call with one of my Live On Purpose coaches at www.drpauljenkins.com/breakthroughcall.
I feel my daughter (5y old) has symptoms of ADHD as she is hyperactive, impulsive, problem in focusing , act without thinking etc ...this video is very helping for us (as parents) .Thank you so much for sharing🙏
My Query:
Will she get better with the passage of time or should we consult a Dr. Without any delay?
Your reply will be highly appreciated thanks again🙏
Thank you for watching the video, UB's Menu. I wish I could tell you whether or not your daughter will get better over time, however this is not within my licensure to tell you. Going to a doctor is a good idea - hopefully you can get an appointment soon, despite the pandemic. In the meantime, if you search "Live On Purpose TV ADHD," you will find quite a few more videos.
@@LiveOnPurposeTV Thank you 🙏
Just because She is Hyperactive or Impulsive it doesn't mean she has ADHD
About 70-50% of people with ADHD have ADHD into adulthood. It usually stays with you. Plus ADHD gets worse with the onset of puberty and delaying diagnosis causes nothing but harm, it won't just blow over.
Thank you for this video. Could you possibly give a real life example (e.g., with a task and consequence) of the four step process you are describing?
Give your child a task they can handle, let's say, turning in their homework. They blow it and don't turn it in. You give them empathy, Sorry you blew it. Now you can't watch TV tonight. Bummer. Give them another opportunity. Send them off to school with the work to turn in. Tell them that you know they can do it. They can turn in their work. Give them more opportunities to figure it out.
@@LiveOnPurposeTV I've never heard this advice before, thank you thank you!!
Many adhd get distracted and is not a choice they make not to do a task. How we go about this?
It is about putting practices and hacks into place so when ADHD figure out they are off task, they can do simple things to get them back on track and keep them there.
I have a grandson who has been diagnosed with adhd
And another grandson with autism. My grandson with autism is high functioning. He’s doing good. My other grandson who is adhd is not 😞 he’s 13 yrs old. Same age as his cousin with autism. He is very defiant, refusing to accept responsibility and he is always out of control. Any suggestions!
Carlos Johansen, have the parents talk to the pediatrician and get some counseling for him. He may need medication, maybe not. That is their choice, it could help temporarily, depends on if he wants to make some changes.
@@LiveOnPurposeTV
Thank You For Responding.
Yes. He has seen a doctor. He was evaluated by the Local Regional Center Their Doctor.
He Was Tested And Evaluated With ADHD...
For The Time Being, NO MEDS. Changing His Diet Is More Likely. Reducing And Eliminating Sugars...
(Breads, Rice 🍚 Pasta 🍝 )
Etc Etc Etc...
My daughter is 16 and is in both stage 1 and stage 3? She has tantrums and shouts etc as you said for stage 1 but can also be very responsible and feels a lot of empathy after calming down from an outburst and is apologetic afterwards. Any advice?
Yes, the stages are fluid, encourage the behavior that is in stage 3. Part of it could be hormones. When she is calm talk to her about how to remain in stage 3 and the reasons why we want to be there.
I felt like he was talking to me directly 😘😘
Dija Charoliya, should make you feel better that you aren't alone.
@@LiveOnPurposeTV thanks for your reply I am so much in love with your explanation
Actually my daughter has ADHD and ur explanation was so on point
Thanks for the information
You are very welcome.
learned love and logic parenting from dr paul, I highly recommend this video, IT WORKS
Thanks, Sandra Chapman. I'm honored to be on your team.
My daughter just started kindergarten a few weeks ago and she went from almos stage 2 to stage 1 again at 0% control because she has adhd and cant focus in school or sit still and throws tantrums :'(
Frances Lopez, change is more difficult for some children than others. Get a routine and stick to it, giving lots of praise for when she doesn't meltdown and hopefully she will come around soon.
Thank you for the video. I have a 6 year old boy with ADHD and his maturity is definitely at stage 1. Could you give an example with the stapes given for more clarification
Thank you for watching and trying to understand, Catherine Martinez. Stage 1 is when the child does not cooperate and is only doing things for him/herself. Because of this, the consequence or discipline does not require cooperation from the child. Examples would be taking away screen time, treats, or a special toy. Stage 2 behavior, there is cooperation, so you can ask the child to do an extra chore or write a short essay on how to make a better choice next time, for example. We have other videos with more ideas, but here are 2 of them:
"7 Ways To Discipline Your Child" - ua-cam.com/video/G3nu1QfOUqE/v-deo.html
"Consequences For Misbehavior | 6 Specific Examples" - ua-cam.com/video/Fbcwp9na04Y/v-deo.html
Thank you for the clarification. I guess that's where my 6 year old is at. I have a long way to go with him. Just pray to go to give me the patience i dont believe to have.
My 5 year old is stuck in stage 1 for what seems like forever. 2 years later, has it gotten better at age 8?
This is excellent! And it definitely works! I have learned that fussing get no where with my ADHD daughter.. but consequences keep me stress free and they definitely teach the lesson and make them more responsible
Thank you for sharing your experience, Ashley B.
This video amazes me because I learned that control comes with maturity, responsibility and empathy. Changes can be made with cooperation, self discipline and communication.
Can you give me examples of tasks and what to say if doesn't do it
Tracy Purcell, it is difficult to say since I have never met you. Brainstorm with someone who knows your child well on what you can do.
Thanks for sharing your brilliant and wonderful skills.. God bless you
My pleasure 😊
Are these tips for just "hyperactive" ADHD type or do they also apply to "inattentive" ADHD type?
You can try them on any child.
My son always throws scaring tantrums when faced with consequences. Lucky that neighbors didn't already call the police. It's that bad.
Maxi, sorry to hear that. I hope he is in counseling or getting other help. And hopefully you are getting a break.
Whag kind of task do you give? Some examples please and thank you
Hi Heather Lackie, thanks for watching. Tasks should be things you know your child can perform, like clean their room, take out the garbage, or load the dishwasher. We have more videos on ADHD, if you wish to watch. My most recent is "How To Help A Child With ADHD Without Medication" - ua-cam.com/video/z8T5rIWqRvA/v-deo.html
Others include:
"How To Help Kids With ADHD" - ua-cam.com/video/wNqziiKyigY/v-deo.html
"How To Get A Kid With ADHD To Focus" - ua-cam.com/video/KbB2y0rYvk4/v-deo.html
"Proven Natural Remedies For ADHD In Children" - ua-cam.com/video/5IbWguzqgWo/v-deo.html
If child start laughing he cannot control his laugh, lose attention and does not realise the things can hurt during unconditional laugh and over excitement. I try to divert attention by giving options or by loving him but I cant do so. It frustrate me. Please suggest me the way what can I do to make him normal during this
I hope the answer on the other post helped.
Yes I got it, thank you so much, I found you responding always. God bless you.
Hello sir can you please make video how to co-Parenting with an ADHD ex? Thank you
Bona Macdonald Sagittarius, thank you for the suggestion.
I have adhd and spd and very bad anger issues but I’m 13 a seventh grader and I’ve had a lot of aggression issues
Norah Hannon, I hope you are getting the help you need so you can have the best life posible.
@@LiveOnPurposeTV yeah no one wants to help me
Thank you!!!! Very, very powerful and useful video.
You're very welcome!
The SKITA Protocol is probably the best therapy for ADHD.
Go Gan, thank you for the suggestion.
My granddaughter is diagnosed with ADHD she's is 5 years old but I'm worried how will she cope to be out there in school and elsewhere
Elaine Gonsalves, Schools are pretty good with having ways to help children. If you can, volunteer at her school.
@@LiveOnPurposeTV is atisum they same as ADHD because different Dr say she atisum too
Doctor Paul.. is ADHD curable? my son was in grade 4. but its difficult for him to focus on writing school works like those answers from his modules. by the time that he was matured already.. is there possible ways that they can survived in regular school, I mean how can he graduate having low grades? it's hard to join online class. he can't focus for an hours like non ADHD people did. the more I persue him the more he wants to go out like never thinking I got hurt what he did.
hakkuna matahta, yes, kids can be taught skills and learn tricks to deal with where they are getting tripped up.
I haven't found any consequences or things that my daughter cares enough about yet...
Brainstorm with others who know her or other parents with what worked for them.
Thank you for this video! A process and truth that seems so obvious. It is so great and helpful to hear it explained in this way. Thank you so so much!
Mishayla L, Glad the video was helpful.
“fathers, do not be irritating your children, but go on bringing them up in the discipline and admonition of God”
Thank you for sharing.
I feel like someone told this guy to slow down his talking. Speed up!! It's not complicated info, give some credit to your audience.
Also, as someone who went undiagnosed as a child, idk how helpful this advice would have been. It doesn't seem very adhd specific. The tip about not critiquing but leading with empathy was good... but very general. And the video doesn't touch upon the fact that arguing/yelling/etc as a teen is due more to everyone around not understanding the shame of not being able to motivate to do simple tasks, and the tension this causes in a household. It's not really about maturity level..
Idk... This video was a bit reductive and it was kind of frustrating to get through. I recommend any parents reading this to watch Jessica McCabe. She has a tedtalk and a youtube channel, and she's always spot on - really gets to the root of the issue.
I have a vocal disorder and sometimes speaking is difficult. Yeah, not what I planned on when I became a psychologist.