“I Don’t Think There’s A Right Or Wrong Way To Come Out.”

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  • Опубліковано 16 жов 2024
  • As a closeted teenager, Jeff Perla saw his cousin come out to the family and knew that he did was not interested in coming out quite so publicly. This was put to the test six years later when his college roommates caught him in bed with a male student.
    More first-person LGBTQ stories: imfromdriftwood...
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КОМЕНТАРІ • 78

  • @garyjsimm
    @garyjsimm 6 років тому +71

    this guy is adorable . great story and story teller

  • @poppykok5
    @poppykok5 6 років тому +28

    As a Mom, I just have to say that Jeff is such an adorable & sweet kid with that "million dollar" smile of his where his whole face lights up when he smiles...I wish he & his cousin a rich, content, & meaningful future surrounded by lots of loving, supportive family & friends...

  • @curtmichael7589
    @curtmichael7589 6 років тому +87

    The roommate that took the picture of you in bed with someone needed to be called out on that major invasion of privacy.

    • @coryhankerson2165
      @coryhankerson2165 6 років тому +13

      We definitely think alike. Who does that?

    • @michaelm5601
      @michaelm5601 2 роки тому +1

      When the roommate least expects it….. I will get this roommate in a way that was much worse. Like a 10K billboard……. Invasion of privates and privacy..

  • @edng5964
    @edng5964 3 роки тому +3

    I've met Jeff Perla in real life when he visited Sydney last year. He is a very nice, friendly and inspiring person.

  • @cesaredecal2230
    @cesaredecal2230 6 років тому +72

    This guy is cute af

    • @jessiahruiz8046
      @jessiahruiz8046 6 років тому +1

      Cesare de Cal honestly

    •  4 роки тому

      He is, he is.

  • @okimlistening2u
    @okimlistening2u 6 років тому +33

    Jeff, thank you, bro. Your eyes scream how happy you are. Kudos to you. But what happened to you and the freshman you were in bed with, did a relationship follow? Take care, man........love you..........Ray

  • @ruffey1748
    @ruffey1748 6 років тому +10

    I know it's off topic, but grad-level classes on a SATURDAY for 8 hours? That's my worst scheduling nightmare. Saturdays are for staying in bed eating cookies.

  • @EM-eb1lf
    @EM-eb1lf 5 років тому +16

    He is SO Adorable! xoxo

  • @kd1s
    @kd1s 6 років тому +7

    First I have to comment - the Sunday thing I believe is a universal constant among we Italian Americans. Location doesn't matter, Long Island or Rhode Island.
    In my case people pretty much knew I was gay. One girl I worked with who is still a friend to this day explained it to me. I didn't give her the once over.

  • @melvinnixon2378
    @melvinnixon2378 6 років тому +8

    I love you for your conviction. You did what I would have done. All my love to you!!!!!

  • @troymartin4005
    @troymartin4005 3 роки тому +3

    Very attrractive man. I could see myself hanging out with him and having a beer.

  • @tuneaddicted
    @tuneaddicted 3 роки тому +2

    Great kid and great story. I've always been an advocate of writing a letter to people to tell them when you come out. That way they can digest it slowly at their own speed and you don't get interrupted and you also don't need to respond to their anger, surprise, disappointment or whatever, at least not at that moment. They can have time to consider what to say and maybe not have n instant reaction that could be bad that they will regret. Ideally everyone who loves you and you love would accept you for whatever you told them but that doesn't always happen as we know. Just my opinion

  • @suvariboy
    @suvariboy 5 років тому +8

    He’s adorable!

  • @bryansmith5279
    @bryansmith5279 5 років тому +5

    Cute guy.... great story... everybody is different....you need to do what feels right, when it feels right. Very cool bro

  • @Bortnoone
    @Bortnoone 3 роки тому +1

    Damn, you really have your shit together

  • @TappanZee1234
    @TappanZee1234 3 роки тому

    Wonderful the way you just handle things straight on 🤗 as they happen.

  • @danoliver6000
    @danoliver6000 6 років тому +12

    This made me happy

  • @donaldrentfrow4333
    @donaldrentfrow4333 3 роки тому

    THAT is exactly how I came out............... TO NO ONE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! No ,hey guess whats Momma-Poppa,..... I grew up and lived my life the way I needed with NO explanations how much salt to use for my dish of food.................. I have yet to be asked ANY questions pertaining to any aspects of my life.................. My other half and I are now going on 57 years of togetherness.......................................................

  • @michaelm5601
    @michaelm5601 2 роки тому

    Beautiful smiles… seems like a real nice guy….

  • @zeevon9
    @zeevon9 4 роки тому +2

    Come on ! No one has any interest in whatever happens with the guy? Nice story, your lucky to be surrounded by wonderful people. Also, like the way you blush telling certain parts of the story.

  • @Death-Dott
    @Death-Dott 3 роки тому +1

    There's no wrong way to come out. I came out to my mom while decorating the christmas tree.
    My father came out (as trans) to me after going to top surgery when I was 5 and asked me to start calling him dad.

  • @peteraschaffenburg1
    @peteraschaffenburg1 5 років тому +3

    What happened with the freshman after that? Please turn your adorable story into a movie! ;-)

  • @idanzehavi7883
    @idanzehavi7883 5 років тому +3

    Well I cant agree with you
    When I came out to my mother (gay)
    (Only like two months ago)
    She was so disappointed and she started crying and recently she asked me how did you get to the conclusion that your gay and I told her that I am attracted to men
    And she was like "oh boy" it's wayyyy worse in Hebrew and it sucks
    I really hope that when people will come out to their parents it will e this amazing adventure and everything will be perfect but for me it's just not like that

    • @peteraschaffenburg1
      @peteraschaffenburg1 5 років тому +1

      Hi! May I ask how old you are? You did not ask your mother to put you into this world. SHE decided she wanted to have you. You do not owe her a thing. Make her realize that it´s YOUR life she gave to you and that there is nothing wrong with you. The first thing my mother mentioned were grandchildren. What a selfish thing to say, right? If she really loves you, she will accept eventually. If not, make sure she understands that she is going to loose you ...

  • @paulkeating9950
    @paulkeating9950 3 роки тому

    This guy really is adorable and I agree with the previous comment that he has a awesome storytelling voice

  • @RICHMOND94114
    @RICHMOND94114 3 роки тому

    3 years later, I hope you're doing well.

  • @robertnelson7255
    @robertnelson7255 2 роки тому

    Looking forward to a day when "coming out" isn't necessary.

  • @davidholiday4494
    @davidholiday4494 3 роки тому

    i think you are absolutely right.

  • @tenebaum6595
    @tenebaum6595 3 роки тому +1

    Beautiful smile

  • @Tripper111
    @Tripper111 6 років тому +1

    Good stuff Bro...

  • @GaryWalshDublin
    @GaryWalshDublin 5 років тому +1

    What a lovely guy

  • @christopherwinstanley1348
    @christopherwinstanley1348 5 років тому

    Firstly, enjoyed this video. No right or wrong way to come out??
    depends on where your coming from. My advise would be find
    someplace to break away the isolation maybe through lgbt
    group. The reason is because there are different backgrounds
    but nobody is putting a gun to any one head.
    I feel there maybe negative issues, that sometimes distort. I personally
    would say make sure you have the understanding and there are more
    support these days. I understand what this video saying

  • @mohe5482
    @mohe5482 2 роки тому +1

    We should think about the question, why it is still necasarry to come out.
    I mean heteros do not have to come out. Why should gay people have to do this?
    Find a partner and introduce "it" to your parents. And they will see.
    Am I thinking wrong?

  • @rainbowboii9512
    @rainbowboii9512 6 років тому +2

    Wonderful stoty!.

  • @davidvalenta9394
    @davidvalenta9394 4 роки тому

    well: a couple of bad moments would be:
    interrupting a wedding, or a funeral.. or walking in on your parents in their intimate moment... those would be bad moments..

  • @Metrosplash
    @Metrosplash 4 роки тому

    I’m glad you’re happy, but sometimes coming out gives nothing but the acceptance of your loved ones. And that’s important.But not being able to be a History Teacher, because in 1984, being gay got you fired. But I felt History illuminates the human experience. I wanted to share, but being out killed the dream I dreamed. With all due respect, it doesn’t always get better...

  • @michaelmichaelfordloverman8332
    @michaelmichaelfordloverman8332 4 роки тому

    Me either come out any way you want

  • @salariganello7046
    @salariganello7046 Рік тому

    ok so I'm gonna say what we are all thinking, he is sooo cute

  • @russellepatch7848
    @russellepatch7848 3 роки тому

    I had to try suicide before I could admit it to my wife. Needless to say we are now exes and everyone I told afterwards had a positive response to me.

  • @OMG_BeCkY
    @OMG_BeCkY 6 років тому

    Get it, boy!

  • @ishaneooswald6178
    @ishaneooswald6178 4 роки тому

    Are you presently in a relationship?

  • @monica8833
    @monica8833 6 років тому +1

    Great ☺

  • @Snowydog123
    @Snowydog123 6 років тому +5

    First time ever, but I think this advice is wrong for a heck of a lot of people. Some people have to carefully plan how they are going to come out to their loved ones who might not easily receive the news. What worked for you, total tripped out of your closet might be seriously dangerous for others. Sorry to be negative, but I just had to say this.

    • @peteraschaffenburg1
      @peteraschaffenburg1 5 років тому +2

      Nonsense. "loved once who might not easily receive the news" can choose: either they deserve to be loved once furthermore, or they can go F*** themselves.

    • @Cindy-xg6yn
      @Cindy-xg6yn 4 роки тому +1

      My sister never actually "came out". She just moved into a house with her girlfriend and they go to family events together. No one's ever commented and we just accept her as family. They have since bought a house together and have been together for about 20 years or so.
      I think in an ideal society, gay people wouldn't have to come out just as heterosexual people don't come out as it's considered normal. Unfortunately there is still a lot of prejudice on this and because of this sometimes people can't just be true to themselves.

    • @matthieua.4298
      @matthieua.4298 4 роки тому

      @@peteraschaffenburg1 What if the person coming out is still a student and financially dependent on their caretakers, who might not take it easily and possibly stop financially supporting them?
      What if the person coming out has an abusive relative in their immediate surroudings that might not take it well as well?
      Not everyone can just leave and handle themselves. It's absolutely terrifying for some people. Try to understand that.

    • @peteraschaffenburg1
      @peteraschaffenburg1 4 роки тому

      Matthieu A. Been there, done that. I understand alright, don’t have to try. I didn’t say it would be easy.

    • @stevemoore9509
      @stevemoore9509 3 роки тому

      You absolutely right.

  • @dinspringstead6636
    @dinspringstead6636 Рік тому

    I never told a tbody. I didn't think it was any of their business. Just sayin.. ..if it's right for you, it's all good. I just kept my mouth shut. Works for me.

  • @Pat7629
    @Pat7629 5 років тому

    Can I please ask him on a date?

  • @MakenaForest
    @MakenaForest 3 роки тому

    I wanted to come out by kissing another trans girl in front of my family. my sister outed me after looking at my amazon wishlist.

  • @keithnewton8981
    @keithnewton8981 4 роки тому

    Sorry but i just do not get this big deal the American gave abiut being gay 1990 with my school friends we all go out to pub quizes etc this night i picked everyone up with my date in car, i introduced him to everyone there was no big deal i was 19 he 18 . My straight broad there dates some had different one each week . There just no big coming out. Equally my friends bew in was gay i been at school with most of them since i was 11. It was no big deal

  • @jhb61249
    @jhb61249 Рік тому

    Why do all gay boys look alike?

  • @Imafly5150
    @Imafly5150 6 років тому

    Or you could just be straight. It’s a choice.

    • @thorium222
      @thorium222 6 років тому

      Lol.

    • @Tripper111
      @Tripper111 6 років тому +16

      Or he could just have lived a lie to himself, friends, and family and been miserable.....How ignorant can you be.

    • @shoulders-of-giants
      @shoulders-of-giants 6 років тому +3

      Or you just don't have trisomy 21. It's a choice.

    • @Tripper111
      @Tripper111 6 років тому +2

      Moron...

    • @gameshowguy2000
      @gameshowguy2000 6 років тому +1

      Calidude, how is he living a lie? *He's in the 21st century, living a life the way he wants...one that involves getting with the times and not reading some fictional outdated book.*

  • @eliselianaboyd2547
    @eliselianaboyd2547 3 роки тому

    I like your story, very informative. I still have some trouble with the whole coming out thing. Noone comes out as straight, so I don't see the need for gay people to come out to straight people. It kind of feels like one group of people trying to run the lives of another group of people. But this is just my opinion, not trying to push it on anyone