Unable To Live Openly In Foster Care, Gay Man Finds Family In His Fraternity.
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- Опубліковано 7 вер 2024
- From the ages 8 to 18, John Paul Horn grew up in the foster care system, an environment that was not always hospitable to being gay. Only when he went to college and joined a supportive fraternity did he truly feel welcome and supported.
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I was a closeted fraternity member in college and lost touch with my brothers over time. Decades later, I was mentioned in a major news story (nothing bad), and one of my brothers
googled me and found an article from a gay newspaper that referred to me (with my permission) as openly gay. The same day the news article appeared, I got an e-mail at my business address from the former President of our house, wanting to know what I had been up to the last four decades, and asking that we be in touch. A dozen brothers were copied. They all wanted to meet my other half, and we had offers to visit from Cape Cod to San Diego. I have lunch with some of them regularly now. They were my brothers when I hid my true self behind a mask. And they are my true brothers now, when they know the real me.
I am so very happy to hear this about your fraternity. Bravo to you and a huge bravo to them!
Beautiful
As someone who has foster kids, I can't imagine being anything less than supportive to my kids.
How do so many abusers end up taking care of children? Telling a youth to hide who he is is so destructive. You should be proud of yourself for surviving.
I think she had his safety at heart. Foster kid are easy targets for physical and sexual abuse. Gay boys are at even greater risk.
The fuck?! that is not abuse
@@SubtitledArabicSongs The closet is abuse though.
The foster care system needs a universal guideline overhaul because what you went through shouldn't happen. I'm happy everything turned out great for you.
The greater problem is that you can change rules, guidelines, procedure but you cannot change the prejudices, bigotry or hostility that many people harbour. And as in another comment, the other children/ teens are all damaged in some way and vent their own troubled psychology on the one perceived most vulnerable or different.
And in a sexually ignorant and repressed country like the USA the problems are amplified.
What a great story. You had so many challenges and overcame all of them. Glad you shared your story.
This was an awesome story to hear I'd like to hear more good stories like this I think it's great that his friends were ready to fight for him to be himself amazing and brilliant.
Excellent video. Our foster and homeless you need so much support. Hopefully this will shift for their sakes. 👍👍
John Paul, what a joy that you have found safe harbor after such a stormy voyage. Your story is the perfect way to start my day on a positive note
so many people have it so hard, i never complain
Wow! What a journey. It’s amazing that you didn’t become a drug addict, alcoholic, etc. after all the adversities that you faced. Kudos to you completing a PhD program. You’ve really beat the odds. What a great testimony you have that you can share with so many gay kids, and those in foster care. Thanks for sharing.
Thank you for sharing your experiences with us, you make me proud and the guys at your last frat, those are what real friends are made of. I am more than proud of all of you guys; you are real man!
Wow, obviously a brilliant and wonderful young man with an amazing life story to share. So pleased to learn how you persevered through the difficulties and challenges you faced during your youth. The support you received from your frat brothers was so refreshing to hear. Kudos to you and all the best as you continue on your life's journey.
Great story, thanks for sharing! The bond that's created between fraternity brothers is truly a significant one.
Your story is a beautiful story of courage, love, brotherhood and success It makes so very happy to hear your story. Far too many of our institutions force the people that they are supposed to serve into a situation where they must suppress who they are and the result can be very damaging if not totally destructive. Yours was a story of a young person. The same thing happens frequently with the elderly. They find that they must enter into an "old folks home" where they discover that they must go back into the closet because who they are is not acceptable where they are. I can only hope that this changes before I reach that stage in my life, but quite frankly, that hope is very small.
I am reaching out, virtually, and wrapping my arms around you. You didn't deserve that treatment in foster care and it makes my heart smile to know that you have been so successful in spite of it.
What your describing should probably be criminal. Imagine how traumatizing foster care is anyway and then told you weren't welcome if your gay is just more grief. I'm so sorry you went through that. I hope you find much happiness and love in your life going forward.
I LOVE HAPPY ENDINGS. YEAH FOR YOUR SUPPORT TEAM TOO.
What an amazing story. I'm thrilled that you're doing so well! 💓
Nothing wrong with you. How else could you have handled everything. The guy who confronted you is likely fighting some gay thoughts and he was scared of the possibility of being outed if he was seen near you. His problem, not yours. I hope he has found peace for himself.
Congratulations on your success through all the hard work! You deserve all the best
Great story, great guy. I hope he is still doing well and sharing his story will help others.
You wanna know something? I'm 30 and I sometimes feel pissed at my parents for the way they raised us. But videos like this make me feel lucky. Imagine growing up in a home from 8 to 18. That'd be horrible. My parents were seriously tough on us but they loved us and it made us stronger. Watching videos like this make me feel horribly ungrateful. I'm gonna phone my parents and tell them I love them.
You had me crying at we'll make it safe for you...
Positive success story. YES!!
What a wonderful life story of success! Congrats!!!
I hope for a day when gay and lesbian people are considered part of the normal human experience. Because it is. I’m 70, and it’s time humanity grows up and lets other consenting adults be who they are and love who they love. It should not be an issue.
Thank you for sharing an incredible story. Everybody has a story and it gets better.
Hard starting with great end. I had a hard time with my brothers but I had a great support from my childhood friends who liked me for being a good friend , respectful and loyal, they would tell them off. In school I had a bunch of girlfriends who would confront the bullies physically to protect me
THX FOR SHARING
HAPPY THAT LIFE TURNED OUT JUST FINE IN SPIT OF THE HATER'S! MUCH LOVE*
Wow! Incredible life story. I have so much admiration for you.
Yay you! Live your life, be your success. You've earned it! Make your presence known!
What a great story... I congratulate you for having the courage to live your truth. Best wishes to you as your journey continues.
So sorry you have had such a hard time. Please make no mistake you belong.you deserve the world and I pray you get it. Nobody should have to go through that crap. Hold on and move on there are brilliant things waiting for you. X
This is a fantastic story, to go through what he been through. But yet had to hide or leave where he was put in to by the system SUCKS!
And still be able to put down a staple to where was, awesome. His story would make a great book and/or movie. Love this type of story.
I dont mean to undercut the story, I think its wonderful that you found a place where you could be yourself over time
But why would anyone WANT to go back to Bakersfield.
There used to be a sign posted in a major newsroom in LA that read, "nothing good ever happens in Bakersfield."
@@MrPerfesser the only place in CA more boring than Bakersfield is Barstow
Doesn't say much for some people's concept of "care" does it. What kind of foster care does this to people? "Land of the free", Huh?
I hope you are doing well. Happy New Year to you. God Bless you always.
Omg this is upsetting. I can't believe anyone would tell you not to be yourself. You should be so proud of your accomplishments. I respect you and your drive. i hope your life will be joyful and fulfilling
Congratulations on your achievements!
You are a brave and strong man. I admire your courage and resilience. ❤️
I'm sorry you had to go through all that crap. Every thing happens for a reason. It made you stronger and helped you deal with that ignorant guy at the party with CLASS! Good for you. I'm glad you are well and sounds like your future is Bright! 👏👏👏👏👏😉❤❤❤😊❤❤😉❤❤
Living in a environment where you can not be who you truely are it's outrageous in today's world. That's why we as humans are going through all sorts of ordeals and probation due to lack of openness to accept people the way they are. How long will we have to put up with intolerance and indifference?
Amazing what you can do when you got people who root for you and stick up for you.
Lord have mercy. We keep failing each other as human beings. He should've never had to go through this...smh. What a great ending!
I'm glad that you found love, and support in a college fraternity. We all have our own traumas. Mine is biphobic, and transphobic people with catholic, and Anglican Church, and disability ignoranters.
Brave young man
WOW, you are much stronger than you think..
what a true success story you are John Paul!
I hate that were in foster care. I am glad that u thrived and found acceptance.
I love this.
You are so brave. Thank you.
I didnt realize foster care was so anti gay. So a gay kid goes from a bad home to bad foster care. Very sad. Not fair to kids
God bless u son!
Great story, thanks for sharing.
I think it’s important to hear stories like this when people advocate for banning fraternities. As someone who was also gay and had a very positive fraternity experience it makes me sad that future people may not have that opportunity
more proof that our community needs to step up for LGBTQ youth.. esp those in care.
Very powerful.
What HELL HOLE “Christian” foster “care” facilities were they?
Question ...how did he pay for college, masters and now PhD program ? Scholarships ?
xadam2dudex I worked 2-3 jobs in undergrad, got assistantships during my masters that paid for tuition, and PhDs are generally funded.
I was wondering the same thing. When they turn 18 they have to have a job and an apt or go home or homeless in TEXAS.
John Horn That is so cool. Some kids can't get anything done even with all the family help....
It was a great story BUT I hope he now understands that people like his therapist and some of the others weren't trying to hold him back or down but under those particular circumstances were only looking out for his safety and mental health? many of the kids in the system are dealing with emotional issues just by being there and they take their frustrations out on each other as a way to release the anger they have and many single out the people who are most different from themselves. I'm glad he chose the path of education rather than the easier path of self-destruction.
rc5chi I totally get their perspective, but as both as a clinician, a researcher, and a person with that lived experience, I can tell you that it is incredibly damaging to already feel like your stability is in jeopardy and then add these greater layers of complexity to keeping that stability. There are a lot of things you have to give up when you’re in foster care; being yourself, your true self, shouldn’t have to be one of them.
John , I totally agree that you shouldn't have to give up your true self, I guess being from a different generation we never had kids coming out in middle school or younger, we had to pretend we were straight or you would get the hell beat out of you and at that time most teachers would have thought you were getting what you deserved and turned the other way !? so, I guess with that experience in mind it may have been why I said that your therapist was trying to protect you, rather than trying to stifle you ?. I do want to say congratulations on all your accomplishments and wish you the very best in your future... Happy Holiday's
😰. Lots of Love💝 and all, all Best Wishes🍀
Wow this is rough.
❤️
4:36 what is semity?
"MC" Walter seminary - it’s where you go to learn to be a pastor
Why does the lgbtq group still use q for queer when it is a deragatory term?
First...most likely
Appalling !!
he,s fine as he is someones sexual attraction is no one else'
s business, Im appalled this was even an issue in 2017 sad !
If sexual attraction is no one else' business then why are straight people always throwing it in our faces?
Curt Michael Give me a break . I don't see straight people making coming out videos and throwing it in our faces .
I didnt realize foster care was so anti gay. So a gay kid goes from a bad home to bad foster care. Very sad. Not fair to kids