His Reputation For Stiffing Lawyers Leaves T**** Struggling To Find Good Defenders

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  • Опубліковано 7 вер 2022
  • The former president is finding it difficult to hire qualified representation for his federal cases, perhaps due to his decades-long reputation for refusing to pay his legal bills. #Colbert #Comedy #Monologue
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КОМЕНТАРІ • 2,9 тис.

  • @charliechaos2551
    @charliechaos2551 Рік тому +147

    "Flabrador Deceiver" cracked me up. The names for "he who shall not be named" are a riot!

    • @danpowell3953
      @danpowell3953 Рік тому +15

      Regarding Trump paying a lawyer with a horse:
      I think Trump could reasonably be called a “Horse Traitor”.

    • @couragekarnga8735
      @couragekarnga8735 Рік тому +5

      People are definitely creative!

    • @patthenry3568
      @patthenry3568 Рік тому +3

      @@danpowell3953 Oh Dan, that was niiice!

    • @pauljohnston9446
      @pauljohnston9446 Рік тому

      And his followers are trumpanzees

    • @charliechaos2551
      @charliechaos2551 Рік тому +3

      @@pauljohnston9446 Nice! Trumpanzees and Re-Trumplicans

  • @LesterProperties
    @LesterProperties Рік тому +748

    Just to be clear, I became a poll worker in 2020, so that older volunteers didn't have to risk their lives. It is a 16 hour day, which requires a lot of focus at the beginning and end for integrity. It is no bake sale.

    • @tracycraft
      @tracycraft Рік тому +43

      I joined too in 2020. Fortunately, 8 only do a half shift. But, my mom, brother and sister have done full day shifts. I only did one in November 2020. I was so tired afterwards and dropped my phone breaking it.

    • @ericc.sabadin4513
      @ericc.sabadin4513 Рік тому

      MAGA Extreme GQP Seditious Traitors ARE PLANNING on Intimidating and Bullying Senior Citizen Volunteers at the Polling Stations.

    • @JediKnight19852002
      @JediKnight19852002 Рік тому +34

      I'm a precinct Chief and also a sixth grade history teacher. I can't imagine being able to keep sixth graders from going insane during a half-day shift.

    • @mykethevet
      @mykethevet Рік тому +2

      🤣🤣🤣🤦‍♂️

    • @karenm2334
      @karenm2334 Рік тому +19

      I saw that! 16 hours is a crazy long workday.

  • @markmarsh27
    @markmarsh27 Рік тому +6

    I've been playing guitar for over 40 years and I have to say I LOVE the way Colbert's new Bandleader plays. He is top notch, perfect tone and perfect playing!

  • @RamblinJer
    @RamblinJer Рік тому +315

    I did a job for Trump about 10 years ago and knowing how contractors often get stiffed I informed payment was due at time of service. One of 2 or 3 accountants at location provided his (Trumps) credit card. Swiping it, it got declined every time tried. His accountant ended up paying his bill, lol. Either way I got my money! 😛

    • @elizabethwatt8131
      @elizabethwatt8131 Рік тому

      THAT is PATHETIC! tRumps credit card was declined??!!!!!!
      Thank Heaven you got your money! The Accountant would find a way to get paid, hopefully. Cheap, crooked, lying, broke, fraud bastard, pretending to be rich. The only job he’s ever had, that paid, was as the president. They shoulda denied his pay check. The bastard never did a day’s work and constantly squandered hundreds of MILLIONS taking Airforce1 everywhere, and the helicopter every weekend just to go to fucking maralardo!

    • @fifthbusiness1678
      @fifthbusiness1678 Рік тому +6

      Uh ... ok

    • @nycatlady2314
      @nycatlady2314 Рік тому +39

      Good for you. Too many were cheated by this jerk

    • @anthonyzullo
      @anthonyzullo Рік тому +10

      Make sense. I've seen this happen at my business. Watchingba secretary pay for their boss. O saw it at a dinner once and it instantly made me not wanna work with the woman.

    • @carolynpspk3912
      @carolynpspk3912 Рік тому +24

      I knew a Jersey contractor who did stonework and masonry on his New Jersey casino and trump basically told him he would get less than half of what was owed or else be bankrupted through lengthy lawsuits. Didn't even cover the materials, and so the company went bankrupt anyway.

  • @winesap2
    @winesap2 Рік тому +208

    It’s not just women upset about the overturning of Roe v Wade!

    • @ToniGlick
      @ToniGlick Рік тому +35

      Even less feminist leaning men might think about the increased incidence of child support cases this will engender.

    • @elcee949
      @elcee949 Рік тому +2

      Beta

    • @markb6295
      @markb6295 Рік тому +16

      @@elcee949
      Congratulations....acceptance is the 1st step toward recovery!!!

    • @kyleoates6367
      @kyleoates6367 Рік тому

      @@elcee949 All too often have I heard so-called alphas rail against how the courts favor the mother in custody/child support cases... and ALSO support anti-choice legislation.
      You guys purposefully shoot yourselves in your own feet and blame the shoe when it can't stop a bullet.

    • @birdick1307
      @birdick1307 Рік тому

      It's not women, though. There are many millions of women who don't support killing babies.
      It's deg3n3rate sloots, and beta male s.0.l.bo1's.

  • @vash121086
    @vash121086 Рік тому +226

    I agree with Stephen please let that go to court. It would be absolutely hilarious. Also with deep regards to the royal family may the queen Rest In Peace she’ll be missed.

    • @_Atzin
      @_Atzin Рік тому +6

      Anti-fascist but pro-monarchy?

    • @melwelker6077
      @melwelker6077 Рік тому +2

      @@_Atzin you're funny

    • @markbriten6999
      @markbriten6999 Рік тому +11

      @@_Atzin since the queen was in the armed forces during WWII why would you assume she's a fascist?

    • @niamhdwyer5237
      @niamhdwyer5237 Рік тому +8

      @@_Atzin I mean I am anti Fascist AND anti monarchy but even I recognize the queen was a great woman and, more importantly, that she was a person who is now dead, with a family.

    • @avidnongetit8710
      @avidnongetit8710 Рік тому +3

      Besides the hilarity if he doesn't get prosecuted our Democracy truly ends.. equal Justice under the Law..

  • @catherinepuma2815
    @catherinepuma2815 Рік тому +19

    almost spit my coffee out from laughing at that last joke. "Oh no--that's where we keep our secret files!" XD

  • @Author_Alyssa_Taylor
    @Author_Alyssa_Taylor Рік тому +9

    So pleased The Late Show was respectful of my queen's passing. I am Canadian and I gave her flowers years ago. Was one of the highlights of my life.

  • @g.g.matuga4986
    @g.g.matuga4986 Рік тому +45

    🤣”Please let this go to trial😂,”Stephen Colbert.

  • @JerryRigEverything
    @JerryRigEverything Рік тому +1076

    Lol - that ending. Best joke in years.

    • @AngelaKSellsHomes
      @AngelaKSellsHomes Рік тому +36

      Omg why isn't that all everyone is taking about. 🎤💥

    • @raybin6873
      @raybin6873 Рік тому

      Be ironic if a top secret doc had info declaring the melting ice will flood Florida and we are doomed.

    • @davidswanson5669
      @davidswanson5669 Рік тому

      How disappointing that a fellow elder is found drunk and pacified on mainstream propaganda.

    • @kashifkhan1042
      @kashifkhan1042 Рік тому +23

      Jerry is a Colbert fan!!!

    • @James_T_Quirk
      @James_T_Quirk Рік тому

      Thwaits 3 to 10 sea level rise, Greenland another 1 to 3 rise, hmmm, Heatwaves Everywhere, Drought, or Floods, as somebody who spent 40 years trying to get idiots to look at Data, its as I suspected, until it starts happening People will not Believe in Climate Change, Strangely there are video docs from 1989 predicting were we are now ... Better buy some water-wings .. or maybe a igloo & warm Clothes, cause when all that Fresh Water run off Greenland, it will stop the Ocean Heat Pump that keeps Europe Warm, it happened in 1500's "the Little Ice Age" to small extent, but that was just a Glacial Ice dam in Canada collapsing and pouring Gigatons of fresh water down St Lawrence River into North Atlantic, so maybe a little more ICE-AGE like conditions, PS thru Ice-core analysis they found it happened in less than 20 years, switching to colder extremes ..

  • @hadeelhoque8589
    @hadeelhoque8589 Рік тому +74

    "South Florida is where we keep top secret files." 😂 Best line ever Steven. You are one of my favorite stand up comedians 👍

    • @singvogel7895
      @singvogel7895 Рік тому +1

      Actually, as a former MI soldier in Germany who has experience with NSA SCIFS, I bet you dollars to doughnuts the we have a field station in southern Florida. To monitor Cuba. So, yeah, actually we DO store TS/SI there, more than likely.

    • @robertb.7772
      @robertb.7772 Рік тому

      @@singvogel7895 "Winston Churchill, a catholic priest, and Snoop Dog walk into a bar..."
      Singvogel: "Actually, as a former bartender, this scenario is highly unlikely."

    • @singvogel7895
      @singvogel7895 Рік тому +2

      @@robertb.7772 LOL, ok, well, no one ever said I did not have an eye for the obvious! And you clearly have an affinity for finely absurdist language. Well done, that man. 🙂

    • @robertb.7772
      @robertb.7772 Рік тому +1

      @@singvogel7895 Thanks for having a sense of humor. Have a nice weekend!

    • @hadeelhoque8589
      @hadeelhoque8589 Рік тому +2

      @@singvogel7895 if that is true, then they better relocate their storage area since South Florida is going to drown 🙄 thanks to Global Warming.

  • @judybritt6288
    @judybritt6288 Рік тому +6

    Colbert's jokes are funny- because they highlight true problems.
    I'm a Georgian. Fulton County (in Atlanta) is having trouble finding not only enough poll workers, but directors for the November election. The Director of Elections here quit after the 2020 election because of all the threats & undeserved criticism. We currently have an interim director who does not want the job and has refused an offer to make it a permanent position. To date, that position is still unfilled. Who would want a job that is high pressured, knowing they will be threatened & criticized no matter how well they do the job? Oh, and add to that the fact that you could go to jail if you are accused of breaking your oath & not doing your job properly.
    We have Trump & the Republicans to thank for that.

    • @hd259607
      @hd259607 Рік тому

      Yep. Just like teachers. Who wants a job where everything you do is wrong?

  • @Krieghandt
    @Krieghandt Рік тому +25

    Surely stiffing lawyers will never come back to bite you in the arse.

  • @maxcushingham3468
    @maxcushingham3468 Рік тому +16

    Florida! That’s where we keep our top secret files! Had me in stitches. 😂

  • @amandalockwood2291
    @amandalockwood2291 Рік тому +2

    Thank you for the comments at the start about the passing of our Queen xx

  • @QDSLand
    @QDSLand Рік тому +6

    I am sure the lawyer that was to be paid with a horse said
    "Screw you ....and the horse you rode in on"
    Funny stuff... keep them coming 👍👍👍👍👍

  • @andrewd5185
    @andrewd5185 Рік тому +232

    I'm so glad Stephen is back, T****'s constant onslaught of BS is tough to bear without someone bringing bit of levity to the table.

    • @Miller_Time
      @Miller_Time Рік тому +3

      He's not Voldemort, you can say his name

    • @HobertMallow
      @HobertMallow Рік тому +7

      @@Miller_Time who?

    • @chrisgullett4332
      @chrisgullett4332 Рік тому

      Damn! Y'all are so week you are now editing his name? That Trump Derangement Syndrome has got y'all down bad. Toughen up pansy! Y'all need to be deprogrammed from that cult called the Democrat Party. They got y'all making fools of yourselves, and y'all do not even realize it. This is pure comedy gold.

    • @elegantgypsyrose5328
      @elegantgypsyrose5328 Рік тому +8

      Why would we want to foul our taste buds saying his name? I just call him Lord Cheeto

    • @chrisgullett4332
      @chrisgullett4332 Рік тому

      @@elegantgypsyrose5328 Weak people can never say their foes names. just like when y'all could not say Islamic terrorist. The first step in being brave is saying the enemies name. If y'all cannot say Trump then you are either super weak, which we all know is true, or just following your cult leaders orders, which we also know is true. Again, y'all need deprogrammed stat. The Democrat Party is evil, and they are playing y'all like fiddles. They target the dumb, because they know they can use you. It is fun watching.

  • @TheSunflowerGalaxy
    @TheSunflowerGalaxy Рік тому +101

    The Orange con's knowledge of national secrets would mean he can't be housed with a general prison population.
    He'll have to be completely isolated from the world in every respect. Perhaps in a mountain or on an empty prarie with an outhouse.
    Can you imagine what it would do to a complete narcissist to be cut off from every source feeding his ego?🕊

    • @celestialstar6450
      @celestialstar6450 Рік тому

      Put him in solitary and throw away the key

    • @juliemissick4206
      @juliemissick4206 Рік тому +22

      There’s a supermax prison in Florence, Colorado that he could be housed in. Literally one hour per day outside your cell (which you have to yourself) for recreation. The rest of the time he’d be in total isolation. The perfect place for him. He wouldn’t even need the Secret Service people to watch him there.

    • @triciac1019
      @triciac1019 Рік тому +9

      ​@@juliemissick4206 sounds perfect!

    • @lisawise9849
      @lisawise9849 Рік тому +6

      @@juliemissick4206 sounds like a perfect place for him.

    • @watersportsbyjamesfitzroy5870
      @watersportsbyjamesfitzroy5870 Рік тому +4

      That sounds like a dream!

  • @gram2977
    @gram2977 Рік тому +20

    Love you Stephen! You keep me laughing through these crazy times we live in.

  • @ccompeaux1
    @ccompeaux1 Рік тому +2

    That was an awesome way to end that monologue! 😂

  • @waltonsimons12
    @waltonsimons12 Рік тому +101

    I like to think Colbert first got the idea for that "stable genius" joke back in 2018, and he's been waiting patiently ever since for the perfect moment to use it.

    • @allangibson8494
      @allangibson8494 Рік тому +1

      And Mr Ed aka Bayard wanted credit…

    • @kierstenridgway4634
      @kierstenridgway4634 Рік тому +1

      Just like when I hear teen slang and wait until just the right moment to embrace my kid. 😆❤️✌️

    • @acciousername6776
      @acciousername6776 Рік тому +4

      @@kierstenridgway4634 My mom does that, and I'm 25! 🤦🏻‍♀️😄❤️

    • @Echo81Rumple83
      @Echo81Rumple83 Рік тому +6

      And now Randy Rainbow's parody is running thru my head 😆

    • @WyvernYT
      @WyvernYT Рік тому +2

      If America wanted a stable genius we would have voted for Mister Ed.

  • @syvnwckdsyns3159
    @syvnwckdsyns3159 Рік тому +840

    As a high school teacher and ER nurse, you have kept me walking the tightrope of sanity… satire at its finest ❤️

    • @mmmountain1968
      @mmmountain1968 Рік тому +90

      how tf do u balance both of those traumas, u legend

    • @jamesgoines7663
      @jamesgoines7663 Рік тому +23

      Thanks for all you do.

    • @roccocupido5082
      @roccocupido5082 Рік тому

      Boy the bar for SATIRE has certainly become EXTREMELY low...boy if THIS is satire today....but of course it isn't..it is sour smug shitlib corporate funded propaganda....(for BRACING..SANE...MEANINGFUL SATIRE try George Carlin..Mort Sahl...LENNY BRUCE...the late lamented Colbert of the Group Bush Washington Correspondence Dinner..) satire at its finest..yeah right

    • @michaelmcgregor7374
      @michaelmcgregor7374 Рік тому

      Total bullshit is what it is!!! On par with "The View"!!!

    • @weatherornotheresmike9303
      @weatherornotheresmike9303 Рік тому +10

      Thank you for what you don

  • @Shuizid
    @Shuizid Рік тому +7

    And yet he is STILL walking free and even getting special treatment from the judge. So much for "nobody is above the law".

  • @stanleyban
    @stanleyban Рік тому +1

    That's nice that you placed a disclaimer honoring Queen Elizabeth,'s passing,!!
    👍👍👍

  • @VinlandAlchemist
    @VinlandAlchemist Рік тому +7

    Proud to see the pre-message - my Canadian blood appreciates you all with huge thanks

  • @kmtrahan01
    @kmtrahan01 Рік тому +145

    Rudy went from “America’s Mayor” to “Dr Head Juice”
    Seems pretty accurate to me. 🤣🤣🤣🤣

  • @juanitaespinoza6619
    @juanitaespinoza6619 Рік тому +1

    Thanks Mr C for keeping it real.

  • @small3687
    @small3687 Рік тому +3

    Stable genius had me dying. He does have a Colt following.

  • @Opus313
    @Opus313 Рік тому +242

    Even OJ was able to hire a legal dream team... Donnie has assembled a legal nightmare!

    • @ttacking_you
      @ttacking_you Рік тому +14

      They shared a Derschowitz, once.fuck , the "man" IN OFFICE literally had to get one of O.J. Simpsons lawyer's, I don't even know how you begin to defend that?

    • @pzsoldat2516
      @pzsoldat2516 Рік тому +3

      Great comment

    • @ttacking_you
      @ttacking_you Рік тому

      We're all "Flooded" with embroglios. wait!!! this f****** show listed all of the scandals on the chalkboard one time the real question is who put that up????

    • @lucy2014
      @lucy2014 Рік тому

      And I hope his life ends up a living nightmare! He deserves the worse life has to offer!

    • @intomnia3313
      @intomnia3313 Рік тому +3

      The defense for oj received many good things from the publicity alone. Imagine trump’s defense? Good publicity or bad?

  • @jessetorres8738
    @jessetorres8738 Рік тому +63

    To put in perspective how long The Queen lived & served, she was born when Coolidge was President, been on the throne since Truman was President, & has been around to see 39% of our country's history.

    • @tylerkochman1007
      @tylerkochman1007 Рік тому

      Also, Biden has been around for over 32% of US history since 1776. Our country is young, and our president is old.

    • @baknights14
      @baknights14 Рік тому +10

      She's met 14 presidents since her reign began from Truman to Biden. And had 15 prime ministers as well.

    • @nemofan111
      @nemofan111 Рік тому +3

      Very interesting and sad at the same time

    • @dyent
      @dyent Рік тому +7

      She served as a medic during WW2, which ended only 7 years before she inherited the throne.

    • @jeaniebird999
      @jeaniebird999 Рік тому +1

      Wow

  • @palehorse6250
    @palehorse6250 Рік тому +1

    best lol! "Oh no, not southern Florida! That's where we keep our top secret documents!" LMFAO

  • @papasmurf1904
    @papasmurf1904 Рік тому +1

    That very last snippet was hilarious! 😂

  • @iamanomas
    @iamanomas Рік тому +347

    He doesn’t need lawyers. He’s got judges!

    • @rebeccacamacho-sobczak4282
      @rebeccacamacho-sobczak4282 Рік тому +7

      Good idea!!!

    • @notsure1969
      @notsure1969 Рік тому +8

      Heyooooooo!

    • @sks1258
      @sks1258 Рік тому +1

      Trump needs his head examined to see what the heck happened to his brain.

    • @dudleyburleson8668
      @dudleyburleson8668 Рік тому

      He got unknown lawyers that handed your asses to you In the Senate impeachment trial remember? I do I loved it

    • @dudleyburleson8668
      @dudleyburleson8668 Рік тому

      @notfiveo the last ones he got made fools out of you morons in the. Senate impeachment trial remember? I do

  • @Sjalabais
    @Sjalabais Рік тому +90

    It’s magic how he keeps the apocalypse light and funny. My best spent 10 minutes of the day.

  • @Dan-nt2yb
    @Dan-nt2yb Рік тому +4

    Stephen’s Eric Trump impersonation gets my day going in a positive way.☺️👍🏾

  • @ellenfisher5750
    @ellenfisher5750 Рік тому

    "I know how you feel, Bill" - hysterical!!!!!! Love that Eric impression!!!!!

  • @Neil070
    @Neil070 Рік тому +55

    Thank you so much for the message at the start. As a long time fan of the Late Show, it's touching and much appreciated 🇺🇸 🇬🇧

    • @kellig.6819
      @kellig.6819 Рік тому +7

      I am a long time admirer of The Queen. So many Americans are saddened by the passing of this Lovely Lady ❤❤❤

    • @barbaraschuld8206
      @barbaraschuld8206 Рік тому +4

      Sorry for your loss.😞🇺🇲

    • @JoseOrtiz-zx8sf
      @JoseOrtiz-zx8sf Рік тому

      You appreciated the message mocking the queen and her subjects? :).

    • @le2800
      @le2800 Рік тому

      ​@@JoseOrtiz-zx8sf Why don't you leave this site you trouble making Trumpist! There was absolutely nothing wrong or mocking sounding about it. That mockery is obviously already alive and well within your tiny mind.

    • @le2800
      @le2800 Рік тому +5

      This was an exceptionally good monologue tonight. I immensely enjoyed it. However, I was immensely saddened to hear about the Queen. I appreciated Stephen Colbert and his staff including that much felt sentiment at the beginning of the monologue.
      Even though she wasn't our Queen we Americans have always been so ensconced in the lives of your royal family that when Princess Diana passed it was as if we had lost a beloved member of our own family. It feels the same way now that we are hearing about the Queen since she has been around throughout most of our lives.
      Our sympathy to Her Majesty's family and her countrymen and women. God Bless you all.

  • @ivo4357
    @ivo4357 Рік тому +18

    Sometimes being stubborn can be good: if people make it difficult for me to vote, I'll be even more determined to vote. So when they start scaring away poll workers, SIGN ME UP!!! Don't let them scare you away from deciding your own future.

  • @kellig.6819
    @kellig.6819 Рік тому +4

    You take take the very real fear out of what's going on and make it funny. it helps me cope. Thank you. ❤

    • @michaeld9682
      @michaeld9682 Рік тому

      The fear should be old Joe buying anti radiation drugs for his impending ww3
      You are more concerned with trump and the propaganda

  • @yalondahowell9960
    @yalondahowell9960 Рік тому +4

    LOL I love your show Stephen Colbert I look forward to it every day I would even watch you on weekends🤗🤗🤗

  • @rattusgrenadus8291
    @rattusgrenadus8291 Рік тому +171

    I teach con law and had a student ask if we could cover the various defenses trump has used in court regarding constitutional law and i said sure when he comes up with one ill discuss it in student hours

    • @dday9433
      @dday9433 Рік тому +27

      Trying to explain the extreme lack of legal procedure in his filings to non lawyers is also a challenge... flashback to my law school civil procedure professor thundering "procedure IS law." LOL.

    • @rattusgrenadus8291
      @rattusgrenadus8291 Рік тому +9

      @@dday9433 please dont remind me of civpro

    • @peaceloveharmony7213
      @peaceloveharmony7213 Рік тому +18

      Excellent reply to your student. ✌🏼🇺🇸

    • @ericc.sabadin4513
      @ericc.sabadin4513 Рік тому +9

      NO DEFENSE...HE COMMITED ESPIONAGE!

    • @blaisemacpherson7637
      @blaisemacpherson7637 Рік тому

      You know Don Crowley?

  • @BlueJazzBoyNZ
    @BlueJazzBoyNZ Рік тому +13

    even Lionel Hutz, Attorney At Law is not returning Donald's calls

  • @donrobertson4940
    @donrobertson4940 Рік тому +5

    We all get mailed a card with our name on it. It has a reference to our record in the printed electoral roll. We show the card to the poll workers, they look it up in no time.
    For people who go on about democracy so much, Americans aren't very good at running elections. It might sound crass, but sometimes you've got to spend a little money in the things you love, or you'll find they're no longer there for you.

    • @ElissaStark514
      @ElissaStark514 Рік тому

      Glad it's always gone so smoothly for you. Not everyone has such as easy time.

  • @davidarmillie4226
    @davidarmillie4226 Рік тому +1

    I have to agree with the ending joke: It would be a real shame if Mara-lardo was underwater! That's where we store our biggest secret documents! LOL!

  • @allisoncastillo9992
    @allisoncastillo9992 Рік тому +8

    And you forgot to mention about the judge WITH NO EXPERIENCE 😁

  • @donadams8345
    @donadams8345 Рік тому +14

    Why does he need to worry about lawyers when he can go judge shopping.

  • @carolinehernandez7221
    @carolinehernandez7221 Рік тому +1

    The word ‘subjects’ was a deliberate shade. Hello from the 🇬🇧

  • @tanyajackson-smith5504
    @tanyajackson-smith5504 Рік тому +3

    Good one, Stephen. A stable genius.

  • @ddjr6673
    @ddjr6673 Рік тому +6

    The beginning of the video was immensely touching and thoughtful - thank you 🙏

  • @toddboughn5168
    @toddboughn5168 Рік тому +13

    A stable genius! A horse is a horse, of course of course...

  • @laranadesign4764
    @laranadesign4764 Рік тому +5

    I smiled the whole time, this bit is so funny and true. I'm glad I'm not in public looking like the antisocial but optimistic person that I am, staring endearingly at my phone and chuckling.

  • @le2800
    @le2800 Рік тому +31

    Even though saddened by the passing of the Queen, I have to admit that tonight's jokes were really on point, especially the ending one. Sorry for the loss of the Queen. That was nice of the show to acknowledge it beforehand. Our prayers are with all of her family and her country as you mourn her loss. God Bless!

    • @mnomadvfx
      @mnomadvfx Рік тому +3

      It had to be acknowledged before the show because the next show wasn't for 3 days.
      After 3 days time it comes under the heading of too little too late.

    • @1stAC
      @1stAC Рік тому

      @@mnomadvfx this guy late shows

    • @lorraineclark4413
      @lorraineclark4413 Рік тому +3

      WHO CARES about another country's aristocrats? WHY ON EARTH are Americans acting like the British upper class charade is any of our concern?

    • @rubberducky4074
      @rubberducky4074 Рік тому

      @@lorraineclark4413 It would be nice for Americans to realise they are not the centre of the universe and that other countries exist. The Queen is worldwide known influential figure who was the Head of the UK & the wider Commonwealth (which other countries can voluntarily join). They raise billions for the economy & charity each year, something politicians & presidents rarely achieve. Americans state they have a modern system of governance yet Trump & Jan 6 would prove otherwise. Republics whether America, France, Brazil, Russia or China have proven to be prone to coups & civil wars. Many of the top countries in the world freedom index are constitutional monarchies where power is shared and kept in check with the PM & Monarch.

  • @debrahelmlinger6256
    @debrahelmlinger6256 Рік тому +15

    Damn right, we're mad as hell. VOTE, VOTE, VOTE

  • @stephenwedderburn9307
    @stephenwedderburn9307 Рік тому +66

    Things are really bad when even shyster lawyers are afraid of taking your case lol 😆

    • @stephenwedderburn9307
      @stephenwedderburn9307 Рік тому +1

      @@bobbytookalook hahaha 😆, plus they'd definitely need to be paid up front by trump so they could pay their lawyers!

  • @babyblue61549
    @babyblue61549 Рік тому +1

    Oh I’ve missed you Stephen. Thank you 🙏 I need the lol in my mornings.

  • @SilentKnight43
    @SilentKnight43 Рік тому +1

    Thoughtful of you to add the message about the passing of the queen. Monologue was hilarious as always.

  • @gagatube
    @gagatube Рік тому +8

    A little ditty for November (you can hum it while you wait for your name to be found...😁)
    Roe, Roe, Roe your vote,
    Kick out the extreme,
    Locally, Statewide or Federally,
    Make Congress blue or green.

    • @elenachristian9860
      @elenachristian9860 Рік тому

      Roe, Roe, Roe your vote,
      He's running out the clock!
      State by state, town by town,
      Grab him by the c--ck!

  • @pm6693
    @pm6693 Рік тому +24

    Just to cut in and say: thanks, Stephen. From a very sombre UK, I really needed to hear and join in with the laughter this morning.

  • @dianemitchell1717
    @dianemitchell1717 Рік тому +3

    Thank you sooo much for helping me laugh amid the chaos. You are the best, Stephen.

  • @CreationTribe
    @CreationTribe Рік тому +1

    "Oh no! Not southern Florida! That's where we keep our top-secret files!" haha ... priceless

  • @kylebrister7608
    @kylebrister7608 Рік тому +178

    What Colbert is missing is you can have a clown car load of attorneys if you own the judge.

    • @dsddala467
      @dsddala467 Рік тому +8

      But the case will be tried in DC, not some podunk civil court in a corner of Florida with only 1 judge.

    • @wyskass861
      @wyskass861 Рік тому

      There are appeals in which there will be a 3 judge panel.

    • @id10t98
      @id10t98 Рік тому

      Courts arent stacked with A right wing nut job Judge, they're stacked with right wing nut job Judges. That's plural.

    • @evandaymon8303
      @evandaymon8303 Рік тому +1

      Those three judges are also appointed by trump from what i heard so yea. Unless they are going to judge fairly. I think we need to add a law to prevent people like trump to be judged by a biased judge. On both sides honestly and with independent judge for a more fair outcome

  • @TheOGClassicMan
    @TheOGClassicMan Рік тому +34

    Thoughts and prayers to the Royal Family and the people of England.

  • @sisuguillam5109
    @sisuguillam5109 Рік тому +3

    I'd rather have Doris spend an hour looking up a name than her getting it wrong.
    Thanks to all the Dorises out there, whichever country you are in.

  • @JeffreyGoddin
    @JeffreyGoddin Рік тому +1

    I worked in Homestead in orchards, avocados, lychee, starfruit, longan. 10 feet of sea level rise would reduce most of Florida to a few islands, namely landfills. Unimaginable that we're letting this happen.

  • @KennethD000
    @KennethD000 Рік тому +9

    I wasn’t expecting the impromptu Eric, thanks 😂😂

  • @talscorner3696
    @talscorner3696 Рік тому +50

    Seeing people going to vote always makes me happy

  • @janea4777
    @janea4777 Рік тому +1

    Haha “lord, please let this go to trial”. 😂😂😂😂

  • @janetbooth9268
    @janetbooth9268 Рік тому +2

    Stephen, you were on your top game last night, kudos soooooo funny!

  • @jayneberkley9742
    @jayneberkley9742 Рік тому +72

    I’m with Stephen……please let this go to trial😂😂😂

  • @impunitythebagpuss
    @impunitythebagpuss Рік тому +3

    My Canadian heart is broken...our Queen is dead, God save the King.

  • @donutarmageddon7975
    @donutarmageddon7975 Рік тому +1

    The world has only ever had one stable genius. Mr. Ed.

  • @FrikInCasualMode
    @FrikInCasualMode Рік тому +1

    I feel it was the most heartfelt prayer Stephen said in a very long time. And if it come to pass, it would be hilarious to watch.

  • @yodel1300
    @yodel1300 Рік тому +6

    The note at the start was nice. Love from UK

  • @Elizabeth-mp6tr
    @Elizabeth-mp6tr Рік тому +22

    Sweet hope!!! Lol Thank you Stephen for keeping us in the normal realm of sanity with laughter!

  • @NguyetNguyen-tj1wr
    @NguyetNguyen-tj1wr Рік тому +1

    Love Colbert’s delivery always the best!

  • @karenwhinesmore9347
    @karenwhinesmore9347 Рік тому +1

    Always Excellent Stephen!! I love your Eric impression 😁😁😁

  • @AaronTremblay
    @AaronTremblay Рік тому +26

    He still owes my city thousands after one of his crack pot festivals a few years back

  • @JohnPeacekeeper
    @JohnPeacekeeper Рік тому +350

    Funny how among his millions of sheep who'd sacrifice babies to him, not a single one of them is a decent lawyer. Because to be a decent lawyer... you'd need to at least have a modicum of intelligence.

    • @silvercloud1641
      @silvercloud1641 Рік тому +2

      Psalm 137:9

    • @lostcat9lives322
      @lostcat9lives322 Рік тому

      Perhaps they're already busy with court, what with rioting in the capital and whatnot.

    • @Echo81Rumple83
      @Echo81Rumple83 Рік тому +14

      Not even the top prosecutors from the first Ace Attorney trilogy, sans Mr. Payne, would represent that pile of mutated bad soup in court 😆

    • @corbeau-_-
      @corbeau-_- Рік тому +2

      have you seen Rudy? I mean, all your bogus sounds nice, but it's far from reality.

    • @melwelker6077
      @melwelker6077 Рік тому +2

      Babies?.. is there a delivery service? And a good variety of condiments to go with?😃

  • @BiscuitsInSeptember
    @BiscuitsInSeptember Рік тому +1

    This monologue was perfection

  • @constancedean8047
    @constancedean8047 Рік тому +1

    I worked the polls in 2020 at the height of COVID and trump madness, from 6am-12midnight. I was compensated less than 2.00 per hour. And they wonder why they can't find poll workers. 🙄

  • @maruvia
    @maruvia Рік тому +30

    I missed you Mr. Colbert

  • @richardosbourne3346
    @richardosbourne3346 Рік тому +123

    I really miss John's energy, sending him and his family much love and respect.

    • @debmainas
      @debmainas Рік тому +13

      John Batiste much love to you and your wife!!!!

    • @sheilasmith1109
      @sheilasmith1109 Рік тому +7

      I thought John B was coming back after some needed time off! Could someone please help me understand the scoop about him? Sounds like he’s not!🙀🥲

    • @mypillowguy445
      @mypillowguy445 Рік тому +19

      @@sheilasmith1109
      His wife is battling cancer.

    • @toastysock
      @toastysock Рік тому +4

      I didn't even notice he was gone

    • @Darknamja
      @Darknamja Рік тому +16

      @@sheilasmith1109 Jon Batiste is leaving The Late Show With Stephen Colbert after seven years. The band leader will be replaced by Louis Cato, who has served as interim bandleader this summer. The recent Grammy winner is departing to pursue personal and professional interests. Aug 12, 2022

  • @katbrown1449
    @katbrown1449 Рік тому +3

    Yes. We need to keep the roe v wade issue attention up
    We don't wnat to have local givernors deciding what we can do and that subject to change every 4 years. We are not chattel with our uterus owned by a governor. It is a basic human right. That need to be nationally safe. Common sense and humanity.

  • @sharmanr.hankins8372
    @sharmanr.hankins8372 Рік тому

    That last joke was the top! "Oh, no! Southern Florida is where we keep our files!" 😅

  • @shermanculbertson6244
    @shermanculbertson6244 Рік тому +83

    I really needed Stephen’s monologue today. I’m in middle of my first health scare right now. I had an endoscopy today and I have a liver biopsy on Monday. Thanks Stephen. And best of luck at the Emmy’s.

  • @shazaadibrahim4361
    @shazaadibrahim4361 Рік тому +103

    It doesn't matter how much of a joke his lawyers are, it's not like he'll do any time or anything. The US justice system is the real joke

    • @b1646717
      @b1646717 Рік тому +5

      Sad fact

    • @uofm4life735
      @uofm4life735 Рік тому

      The whole Biden administration is the real joke. F**k all libs.

    • @michaelmcgregor7374
      @michaelmcgregor7374 Рік тому +1

      Yes, especially with the democrats in charge!!!

    • @ddd8828
      @ddd8828 Рік тому +17

      o yeah i bet the GOP woulda done such a fantastic job at prosecuting trump lmao

    • @uofm4life735
      @uofm4life735 Рік тому

      @@michaelmcgregor7374 They won't be in charge much longer unless they get the FBI & big tech to interfere again.

  • @lorrainegill7654
    @lorrainegill7654 Рік тому +1

    You are simply the best Steve. Even extinction is funny.

  • @patriciaathome2719
    @patriciaathome2719 Рік тому

    Flabrador receiver made me laugh right out loud! Thank you! I needed that!

  • @jimschleich8753
    @jimschleich8753 Рік тому +3

    Wunnerful wunnerful, the hits just keep on coming!
    Well done sir!

  • @glendagraves1637
    @glendagraves1637 Рік тому +337

    Unfortunately, Trump jumps courts and picks a judge who thinks she "owes" him for appointing her. Somehow a judges oath should at least mean the judge will NOT obstruct justice.

    • @ywoulduchoosetousethis
      @ywoulduchoosetousethis Рік тому

      Exposing the travesty of the Rule of Law?

    • @psyloche
      @psyloche Рік тому +16

      Why that's crazy thinking, unbecoming of someone who thinks he's some kind of mob boss.

    • @avidnongetit8710
      @avidnongetit8710 Рік тому

      We are all fed this TV lie that legal workers have ethics and Morals better than the rest of us... trmp will destroy our Democracy if he is allowed no consequences for his actions...

    • @ywoulduchoosetousethis
      @ywoulduchoosetousethis Рік тому

      @@avidnongetit8710 There is absolutely no truth with the American Dream involved. The higher the iq the higher the level of corruptibility. The higher the institute of learning, the higher the corruptibility. With those 3 premises in place u could calculate levels of corruptibility including one's own. It gets worse when u look at protected systems producing narcissistic environments with sensitivity to self and insensitivity to norms becomes the social dogma (system to encase fear into normalized behaviours so they disappear into daily routines we call common sense). Noted is the reality where everything said since birth has been repeated billions of time from the starting of human history. The only new utterances is 2000 years old, "turn the other cheek" as our military complexity mentality has flexed since the first man or woman created a spear and forced neighbour's to do the same. We do not know any other language other than war. It is the hopelessness of it that drives that corruptibility or be crushed in despair.

    • @johnbondola3246
      @johnbondola3246 Рік тому

      his " brilliant and courageous Judge," is an accompliss to obstructing justice, from the bench of "Justice," truly "crime that is taking place right before" our "very eyes."

  • @stacyperkins2470
    @stacyperkins2470 Рік тому

    I so dig you S.C. Keep keeping it real.

  • @jakegilbert8116
    @jakegilbert8116 Рік тому

    Oh, but the tie and shirt… just perfect. Smashed it!!!!❤

  • @untoldtales7850
    @untoldtales7850 Рік тому +71

    Brit here, love Stephen Colbert and I appreciate the message at the start from the late show team reflecting our loss. The late show is American focused and intended - they absolutely didn’t need to do that. Thank you.

    • @moimeself1088
      @moimeself1088 Рік тому +3

      Do Brits consider themselves "subjects" of the monarchy? It seems so archaic.

    • @beckyedmunds
      @beckyedmunds Рік тому +3

      @@moimeself1088 of course we don't. I think that was a bit of a poke at us Brits.

    • @cbjones2212
      @cbjones2212 Рік тому +3

      Same here from an Aussie. God save King Charles III

    • @untoldtales7850
      @untoldtales7850 Рік тому +5

      @@moimeself1088 is a good question. Technically yes, but we have a democracy so we consider ourselves more citizens of the UK (or the countries that make it up, so Northern Ireland, Wales, England, Scotland etc). The royal family is part of that democracy but it’s very symbolic rather than active if that makes sense.
      If you want to see a tradition in action (which is rather funny), look up Black Rod. They’re the Royal representative who gets the door slammed on their face to represent our democratic independence from the crown.

    • @couragekarnga8735
      @couragekarnga8735 Рік тому +9

      I'm so sorry for your country's loss! I feel like the world's grandma just died!

  • @evillyn7895
    @evillyn7895 Рік тому +33

    I just cannot get enough of that guy's infectious laughter. Somehow it just makes the jokes seem even funnier.

  • @yowzephyr
    @yowzephyr Рік тому

    1:56 Absolutely, definitely the funniest prayer that I have ever seen in my life.

  • @stacey5440
    @stacey5440 Рік тому +1

    I am dead every time Colbert plays Eric. 🤣😂

  • @judithsullivan2815
    @judithsullivan2815 Рік тому +8

    Brilliant absolutely brilliant as usual. He takes the edge off the end of the world 🤭🤪😂

  • @altzana396
    @altzana396 Рік тому +5

    Oh no! Not southern Florida! Can it take Texas too? Asking for a friend.

  • @shadoweagle4112
    @shadoweagle4112 Рік тому +1

    So glad you use T
    For years 24/7 his name was torture and jus knowing his ego is crushed is a satisfactory move 👍

  • @buytry4599
    @buytry4599 Рік тому +1

    Come on ladies, be like Kansas, get registered and vote. Vote like your rights depend on it. Vote America Vote.Your vote is your voice. Your vote matters. We, the people have the power to make the change. 🇺🇸