Thanks to Dr. Becky for sharing her wisdom with us! Leave a “YES” if you enjoyed this and share the biggest moment for you. And make sure to subscribe to never miss out on inspiring content like this again UA-cam.com/lewishowes
yes and if people learned EFT Techniques and taught them to their kids it would be a lot easier to learn to self regulate and they are free to learn and apply and work great for neurodivergent peeple. Dr. Dawson Church is great at explaining the science and the how~
(summary) Parenting Insights and Actions 1. Understanding Kids' Behavior: - Principle: Kids are inherently good; their identity is separate from their behavior. - Action: Distinguish between the child's identity ("good inside") and their behavior, which can be addressed and corrected without labeling the child as "bad." 2. Effective Communication: - Principle: A parent's words become a child's inner voice. - Action: Use affirming language and avoid harsh criticism to foster positive self-talk in children. 3. Raising Resilient Children: - Principle: Resilience is more valuable than temporary happiness. - Action: Expose children to challenging scenarios in a supportive context to teach them coping skills and emotional regulation. 4. Dealing with Challenging Behaviors: - Principle: Understanding the root cause of a child's behavior is key to addressing it effectively. - Action: Instead of punishing, seek to understand why the child acted out and work on developing the missing skills or coping mechanisms. 5. Setting Boundaries: - Principle: Boundaries are what we will do, not what we expect others to do. - Action: Clearly communicate your actions in response to certain behaviors, ensuring the child understands the consequence is a result of their actions, not a punishment. 6. Modeling and Practicing Scenarios: - Principle: Preparation and practice help children respond better to real-life challenges. - Action: Role-play challenging scenarios with children, providing them strategies to handle situations effectively (e.g., walking away from taunts). Personal Growth Insights 1. Healing and Self-Reflection: - Principle: Healing from past traumas and reflecting on one's behavior are crucial for personal growth. - Action: Engage in practices that promote self-reflection and healing, such as therapy, mindfulness, and journaling. 2. Building a Good Identity: - Principle: A strong, positive identity is foundational for healthy behavior and relationships. - Action: Work on separating your actions from your identity, affirming your inherent worth regardless of mistakes or failures. 3. The Importance of Repair: - Principle: Repairing relationships after conflicts is essential for growth and connection. - Action: Actively seek to address and resolve conflicts through open communication and empathy. 4. Embracing Discomfort for Growth: - Principle: Growth often comes from facing and overcoming discomfort. - Action: Challenge yourself to step out of your comfort zone in safe and controlled ways to build resilience. General Actions for Improvement - Reflect on Your Interactions: Regularly take time to reflect on how you interact with others, especially children, and consider if your actions align with the principles of understanding, resilience, and positive identity building. - Seek Resources: Look for books, workshops, and other resources that offer insights and practical advice on parenting, personal growth, and emotional regulation. - Practice Empathy: Make a conscious effort to empathize with others' feelings and perspectives, whether in parenting or personal relationships. - Cultivate Self-Compassion: Recognize that growth is a process and be kind to yourself as you work on becoming the person or parent you aspire to be.
Just finished reading ‘Raising Warriors: Preparing Your Children For a Godly Life’ and it really opened my eyes to some new ways of guiding my kids in their faith. Highly recommend it if you’re looking to strenghten your family’s spiritual life
This is also GREAT info for grandparents! I was brought up differently, I raised my kids in a different way than I was raised, and now I want to learn even better ways to interact with my grandchildren. This was so helpful, Dr. Becky. Thank you!
Didn't hear about connect before correct... But I do it with my boys and even share with them my precious growing up memories... It works wonders every time I connect to them even before I correcting them
She's honestly brilliant and I understood everything she talked about, it's so refreshing to see someone that knows this stuff and articulates it so well.
I grew up with my dad constantly criticising me as a person rather than my behaviour. Also, we had traumatic stuff happen when I was 10 to 18 in my household due to my older sister and when I would show a negative emotion towards it (as anyone would) and just need some comfort I would get blamed for the problems and get told I was a terrible person and a failure. My father would take all his negative emotion out on me and my sisters and mum. Then we would be expected to treat him with complete respect. As we got older we didn't want to spend time with him because he made us feel horrible and he would blame us and get mad at us for not wanting to see him. My dads voice has been a constant in my mind and psyche all my life. It led to major cptsd and depression and anxiety. I am in my 30s now and healing finally and letting go of my dads voice. I am finally giving myself grace and allowing myself to make mistakes. I was never allowed to make mistakes. Finally I feel I can breathe and make mistakes.
@@mjb9455then be curious why they feel the need to lie to you all the time. Be curious why the truth is such a terrible thing to them, maybe they don’t feel safe to be honest.
Also love ‘connect before correct’. When they feel you relate to them, they feel you understand their experience too, THEN they let down their defences.
I’m so glad I found this video .. first I got kind of annoyed when I saw the short video on FB saying : Is not our job to make our kids happy “ but then … I went down the rabbit hole and OMG …. Thank you so much!! 🙏🏻🌟🙏🏻
i am relistening her book again and again one day while bringing my teen daughter from school had such a great conversation i am so glad we are taking about this it’s very important i believe you i saw my teen open up to me briefly , we are working on connection will keep working and not give up on my child thank you
1/4 of the way through her book 10/10 recommend 🙌🏼🙌🏼 thanks for helping me not only feel closer to prepared for parenting but also helping heal my adult self & inner child 🙏🏼🥲
The best thing my parents did for me was tell me no to a lot of things. I'm very resilient in that way and I'm extremely resourceful, too. Also, I'm so grateful for grandparents who were connected and vulnerable. It made all the difference and now hearing Dr Becky talk about this, the MAJOR message they gave was "I believe you" and "I see all of you and love you the same."
41:41 Feelings have a time and place, and don't always need to be public. I'm glad she didn't call her style gentle, because I perceive that to be weak and generating children with poor emotional regulation. Sturdy = balanced. She is teaching that emotional regulation at home, so they can survive and be a good example for others in public. 👏
Feelings actually don't have a time and place. You don't schedule them in like appointments. People need to get comfortable with seeing emotions in public, even if they make you uncomfortable. Most people don't even know how to connect before correcting adults nowadays.
I freaking love this. Thank you. I'm 6 mo ths pregnant with my first child. Soaking it all up and hoping to apply these skills and to have grace for myself when I forget. ❤🙏 Thankful for all the parents who are trying to change and shift old programming ✨️
Almost all of her advice is exactly what good teachers do. The only exception is her statement about needing to understand before intervening. Safety always comes first, so this means that intervening is often needed in situations where others are in immediate danger. However, once the situation allows, the understanding should then take place during a restorative conversation.
Yes, believe and trust their feelings is paramount for helping them build intuitive intelligence processing for emotional literacy, this is essentially brilliant for self-regulation, thanks for sharing these moments of substantial application in real time.
Lewis is my all time ever green hero. when i am stuck i literally type lewis Howes -- i loved Dr Becky’s interview with Dr Huberman did not know this one came out with Lewis literally typed Dr Becky Lewis Howes soo happy to another great resource for 1.5 hrs ecstatic listened it -replayed it and memorized the script when i said to my daughter i believe you in the car while driving i saw the barrier come barrier that is standing between me and her thanks
Get her book, she lays things out much more clearly and more well organized. She also takes breaks within the lessons to check-in with the reader and help them work through feelings of inadequacy, failure, or having been failed by your own parents. I recommend her book to everyone!
Lewis Howes, you are a gem! The way you question people and validate people…thank you for bringing great guests to us and for sharing your view that the world is a beautiful place.
1:10:34 you need to feel good inside to act good on the outside. I loved the entire episode, but this literally made me cry because it’s so true. Thanks Dr. Becky and thanks Lewis for this podcast.
This is such a great topic. Parenting and the cause of behavior is an important argument and I would like to see more of those conversations. Thank you for your great work.
Against all the advice, I have never punished or yelled at my kid. It just didn't make sense to me - instead I created a connection with her. I knew that yelling and punishment would just make a kid feel unheard/angry/defiant, not create real change. She's 13 now and just a great kid.
Thank you so much for making this happen. I am beyond grateful for this incredibly helpful information. I have been craving guidance and this was so relevant!! Awesome
Minute 15:01 😮 Making ur kids happy sets them up for an adulthood of anxiety bcuz they’ve now encoded a handful of emotions that are unacceptable HOLY WOWZERS! That explains my life and my kids lives. Omg now how to heal this!
This is one of the most interesting interview i heard on the subject! This guest is amazing!! Thank you so much for presenting her ideas, it is precious and she is so great at vulgarizing! Wonderful discovery!!! Many thanks!!!
Lewis, this is by far one of your best 💫 She is amazing and so is her revolutionary teaching. Thank you both so much...please have her back, and soon 😊
All my kids have all been super polite and have remember thank you and all. My small way to help teach grandkids their manners is this: Birthdays. Christmas, trips For little ones still living at home I like thank yous( hopefully I remember them without seniorfreeze) they still get gifts from me no matter what. For the grown ups, on their own I remember those who remember us for b days and Christmas, in any inexpensive way and who thank us for presents. Love mom, love grandma
Such a valuable talk. Thank you so much for having her. I am taking notes along the way. She said there were three points, I got the first two (Connect before correct, Building resiliance over happiness, what's the third one? Thank you so much
For parents of gen alpha kids I have noticed that these kids are more independent, brave, and less ‘controllable’ than any other generation. At first I was thrown by this because it is so different than how I was as a kid but then I started to see the beautiful future that they will be shaping and it all made sense. The world needs them to help fix and corse correct not to follow the path that has led us to where we are. We need to empower our gen alpha to be the leaders that they are and encourage their revolutionary ways! This can look like chaos when they are three and four but in time the fruits of these shift in perspective has helped my children shine and thrive. It wasn’t them that had to change to make it happen but my perspective. Hope this helps someone ❤❤❤
Resilience is not the goal for children. It’s the bare minimum. The real goal is antifragility, which is the ability to develop in response to the challenges of life. Resilience is simply withstanding difficulties, antifragility is about growing from them.
Amazing. Thank you. I would like to forward it to some friends who are not so fluent in English but difficult to understand cause she speaks so fast. If I have the time I will translate it to them ❤️
I disagree that kids don’t validate us for being leaders, because after putting up a boundary, after the struggle, kids will love you more and will be very sweet and obedient for a time. That’s very validating, at least in my experience.
so if you're doing everything out of a place of 'I need obedience ot feel respected and validated' you aren't parenting the kids, you're trying to control the situation.
Actually I think kids heal us but not the way she meant. Kids are triggering, obviously and they should help us to become better ourselves. We learn a lot about ourselves when we have kids and they are a perfect occasion for learning and sharing love and patience. And it’s not easy it will make you tired but happy if you progress.
The Special Education teacher called to say "He said he is does not like his self bcz he cannot Read." He was sad bcz his brother had migrated,I was sad bcz I was a teacher missing her first son. I had to make my baby happy again. So we did fun activities. Then we designed a Reading Program that makes anyone Read well faster. It is my side hustle. I even became an author. My baby reads everything, he is now an electrician in training. Boom.
This sounds very much like Dr Gordon Neufeld’s Attachment Based Developmental Approach run through the Neufeld Institute in Vancouver. If it is based on his work it would be great to hear him credited. Fantastic to hear someone with a platform spreading that it is all about our emotions especially the vulnerable ones!
watching this not as a parent but as someone's kid who probably needs some healing from wrong parenting that i don't know about. im a ball of anxiety and my coping mechanism is avoidance so i think i need this
Yikes. I was the kid that my mum believed is a bad kid 😬 she even told me as a adult that she thought I’d “not turn out to be a good person” 😢 which is a weird compliment
What I really wanna know is how as a mother I can go about a in public tantrum from a toddler; like for instance the airport? On an airplane? Or in a government building? 😂 I know these are such specific place but for me these are the place where I just go BLANK and just not know what the hell to do! While inside I feel like omg the world is looking at me 😭 and I’m fumbling and I’m bribing just to put this situation to an END!!!
This should be a requirement for every parent to watch before they leave the delivery room!! ...well maybe that's an aggressive request but it should be required to watch before the first kid is 2. :-) great interview Lewis!
There are so many parenting style trends, but it boils down to the basic things...our job is to love them no matter what, prepare them to one day be happy, confident, self sufficient adults who arnt prey to bad people who want to take advantage of them and in the meantime protect them while they are learning. I feel like most parenting models lack in one area but not her. Her advice works bc it comes from love, common sense & from a child's eyes.
Don’t have kids until you have healed yourself. That’s what her message should be. OR start therapy once you find out you are pregnant. If you are mentally healthy, your kid(s) have a much higher likelihood of being mentally healthy too. 💕
Most of ppl don't know how much or what is 'broken' till they have kids that tigger them constantly.. really, you get to know yourself so much being with them. Said that, not everybody have that kind of money.. have you any idea how much costs going to therapy every week or so??
Showing our kids that we make mistakes , that this world is full of people who make mistakes , is more realistic. If you don’t have money, watching videos and sourcing cheaper options for councillors (universities psychology faculty or something like Catholic Care, where it’s a fraction of the cost) and showing our kids that we are, at any age, trying to be better humans … I reckon that would be great and more realistic.
The problem is that is you start to heal yourself you discover that there won’t be a point throughout your life when you’ll feel completely done healing :) If you however might feel ‘healed’, you should know your blind spot is facing you in that moment.
Great advice! I’m struggling with knowing how to emotionally help my daughter when she’s crying to go into school once or twice a week. She has anxiety with how hard school can be and cries when she get out of the car or needs me to walk her in. It’s hard to see her having a rough start to her mornings. Shes in third grade, does great in schools and has friends! She expressed that it’s a long day for her and doesn’t like school overall. Any suggestions?
Thanks to Dr. Becky for sharing her wisdom with us! Leave a “YES” if you enjoyed this and share the biggest moment for you. And make sure to subscribe to never miss out on inspiring content like this again UA-cam.com/lewishowes
I love what you do
I began to listen to your UA-cam conversation follow it and fell in love with your what you do 🔥🌟❤️
Dont get me wrong please )))
such great questions, Lewis!
yes and if people learned EFT Techniques and taught them to their kids it would be a lot easier to learn to self regulate and they are free to learn and apply and work great for neurodivergent peeple. Dr. Dawson Church is great at explaining the science and the how~
So is shift number three don’t punish? 1:07:18
Thank you!! Very helpful ❤
(summary)
Parenting Insights and Actions
1. Understanding Kids' Behavior:
- Principle: Kids are inherently good; their identity is separate from their behavior.
- Action: Distinguish between the child's identity ("good inside") and their behavior, which can be addressed and corrected without labeling the child as "bad."
2. Effective Communication:
- Principle: A parent's words become a child's inner voice.
- Action: Use affirming language and avoid harsh criticism to foster positive self-talk in children.
3. Raising Resilient Children:
- Principle: Resilience is more valuable than temporary happiness.
- Action: Expose children to challenging scenarios in a supportive context to teach them coping skills and emotional regulation.
4. Dealing with Challenging Behaviors:
- Principle: Understanding the root cause of a child's behavior is key to addressing it effectively.
- Action: Instead of punishing, seek to understand why the child acted out and work on developing the missing skills or coping mechanisms.
5. Setting Boundaries:
- Principle: Boundaries are what we will do, not what we expect others to do.
- Action: Clearly communicate your actions in response to certain behaviors, ensuring the child understands the consequence is a result of their actions, not a punishment.
6. Modeling and Practicing Scenarios:
- Principle: Preparation and practice help children respond better to real-life challenges.
- Action: Role-play challenging scenarios with children, providing them strategies to handle situations effectively (e.g., walking away from taunts).
Personal Growth Insights
1. Healing and Self-Reflection:
- Principle: Healing from past traumas and reflecting on one's behavior are crucial for personal growth.
- Action: Engage in practices that promote self-reflection and healing, such as therapy, mindfulness, and journaling.
2. Building a Good Identity:
- Principle: A strong, positive identity is foundational for healthy behavior and relationships.
- Action: Work on separating your actions from your identity, affirming your inherent worth regardless of mistakes or failures.
3. The Importance of Repair:
- Principle: Repairing relationships after conflicts is essential for growth and connection.
- Action: Actively seek to address and resolve conflicts through open communication and empathy.
4. Embracing Discomfort for Growth:
- Principle: Growth often comes from facing and overcoming discomfort.
- Action: Challenge yourself to step out of your comfort zone in safe and controlled ways to build resilience.
General Actions for Improvement
- Reflect on Your Interactions: Regularly take time to reflect on how you interact with others, especially children, and consider if your actions align with the principles of understanding, resilience, and positive identity building.
- Seek Resources: Look for books, workshops, and other resources that offer insights and practical advice on parenting, personal growth, and emotional regulation.
- Practice Empathy: Make a conscious effort to empathize with others' feelings and perspectives, whether in parenting or personal relationships.
- Cultivate Self-Compassion: Recognize that growth is a process and be kind to yourself as you work on becoming the person or parent you aspire to be.
Thank you!!
thanks for the summary points!
Thank you!
Thank you 🙏🏼
Wow! Thank you so much!
Just finished reading ‘Raising Warriors: Preparing Your Children For a Godly Life’ and it really opened my eyes to some new ways of guiding my kids in their faith. Highly recommend it if you’re looking to strenghten your family’s spiritual life
This is also GREAT info for grandparents! I was brought up differently, I raised my kids in a different way than I was raised, and now I want to learn even better ways to interact with my grandchildren. This was so helpful, Dr. Becky. Thank you!
Glad this was helpful for you🧡
Can we please have her back and have her speak about teens??
Yesss! That would be great
She was also on the huberman lab and discussed teen behaviour alot.
And speak without that enormously grating vocal fry. Ruined it for me 😢
She talks about teens in this interview too.
@@JustMeNow-jMn it’s just very brief. It’d be great to get a more dedicated conversation
Parent words become a child self talk… so powerful!
🙌
Funny some adults say that it doesn't make sense, but it makes perfect sense to children when we apply these techniques.
Didn't hear about connect before correct... But I do it with my boys and even share with them my precious growing up memories... It works wonders every time I connect to them even before I correcting them
She's honestly brilliant and I understood everything she talked about, it's so refreshing to see someone that knows this stuff and articulates it so well.
I grew up with my dad constantly criticising me as a person rather than my behaviour. Also, we had traumatic stuff happen when I was 10 to 18 in my household due to my older sister and when I would show a negative emotion towards it (as anyone would) and just need some comfort I would get blamed for the problems and get told I was a terrible person and a failure. My father would take all his negative emotion out on me and my sisters and mum. Then we would be expected to treat him with complete respect. As we got older we didn't want to spend time with him because he made us feel horrible and he would blame us and get mad at us for not wanting to see him. My dads voice has been a constant in my mind and psyche all my life. It led to major cptsd and depression and anxiety. I am in my 30s now and healing finally and letting go of my dads voice. I am finally giving myself grace and allowing myself to make mistakes. I was never allowed to make mistakes. Finally I feel I can breathe and make mistakes.
I don't have kids, but I can certainly remember one of the most hurtful things in childhood being when your parent doesn't believe you!
If you didn't lie all the time, maybe they would believe you?
You don't have kids. Game over.
Get kids and we can resolve your childhood hurt.
I agree! It’s so hard to feel misunderstood and when they don’t believe you it makes you question if you can trust yourself.
You stop believing your child when you are frequently lied to. Naturally, then everything he says is questionable.
@@mjb9455then be curious why they feel the need to lie to you all the time. Be curious why the truth is such a terrible thing to them, maybe they don’t feel safe to be honest.
Also love ‘connect before correct’. When they feel you relate to them, they feel you understand their experience too, THEN they let down their defences.
I’m so glad I found this video .. first I got kind of annoyed when I saw the short video on FB saying : Is not our job to make our kids happy “ but then … I went down the rabbit hole and OMG …. Thank you so much!! 🙏🏻🌟🙏🏻
You're welcome, thank you for watching!
i am relistening her book again and again
one day while bringing my teen daughter from school
had such a great conversation
i am so glad we are taking about this
it’s very important
i believe you
i saw my teen open up to me briefly , we are working on connection
will keep working and not give up on my child
thank you
1/4 of the way through her book 10/10 recommend 🙌🏼🙌🏼 thanks for helping me not only feel closer to prepared for parenting but also helping heal my adult self & inner child 🙏🏼🥲
Thanks for watching! I'm glad you liked it!
The best thing my parents did for me was tell me no to a lot of things. I'm very resilient in that way and I'm extremely resourceful, too. Also, I'm so grateful for grandparents who were connected and vulnerable. It made all the difference and now hearing Dr Becky talk about this, the MAJOR message they gave was "I believe you" and "I see all of you and love you the same."
So wise.....
"I see all of you and love you the same."
I am glad I stuck around because the first few mins sounded dull. Gratitude 🙏🏼
41:41 Feelings have a time and place, and don't always need to be public. I'm glad she didn't call her style gentle, because I perceive that to be weak and generating children with poor emotional regulation. Sturdy = balanced. She is teaching that emotional regulation at home, so they can survive and be a good example for others in public. 👏
I use the sturdy style as an educator!! Very effective responses and tons of nurturing moments 🫶🏻
@@nataliadelgado3380 I'm glad to hear it! 😊
I would like to add something, please check “the cave of adullam" by Jason Wilson.
It's related to this point
Feelings actually don't have a time and place. You don't schedule them in like appointments. People need to get comfortable with seeing emotions in public, even if they make you uncomfortable. Most people don't even know how to connect before correcting adults nowadays.
A lot of people are operating out of societal people pleasing conditioning not being authentic with their emotions.
Another fantastic episode. People need to realize that we're not raising kids, we're raising adults. Can you please have Richard Grannon on?
wow, how she articulates with so much clarity! need to rewatch it time after time
So glad you enjoyed it! Appreciate you for watching.
I freaking love this. Thank you. I'm 6 mo ths pregnant with my first child. Soaking it all up and hoping to apply these skills and to have grace for myself when I forget. ❤🙏 Thankful for all the parents who are trying to change and shift old programming ✨️
Almost all of her advice is exactly what good teachers do.
The only exception is her statement about needing to understand before intervening.
Safety always comes first, so this means that intervening is often needed in situations where others are in immediate danger. However, once the situation allows, the understanding should then take place during a restorative conversation.
Yes, believe and trust their feelings is paramount for helping them build intuitive intelligence processing for emotional literacy, this is essentially brilliant for self-regulation, thanks for sharing these moments of substantial application in real time.
As a mama with 3 kids 6 and under, this episode is so helpful ❤ I knew alot of it, but since no.3 has arrived I absolutely needed these reminders!
Lewis is my all time ever green hero.
when i am stuck i literally type lewis Howes --
i loved Dr Becky’s interview with Dr Huberman
did not know this one came out with Lewis
literally typed Dr Becky Lewis Howes
soo happy to another great resource for 1.5 hrs
ecstatic
listened it -replayed it and memorized the script
when i said to my daughter i believe you in the car while driving
i saw the barrier come
barrier that is standing between me and her
thanks
Wish the messages were clearer, I know she knows what she’s talking about, but this feels like I’m eavesdropping on a happy hour conversation.
Get her book, she lays things out much more clearly and more well organized. She also takes breaks within the lessons to check-in with the reader and help them work through feelings of inadequacy, failure, or having been failed by your own parents. I recommend her book to everyone!
Yes, too many analogies
If you want to go deeper, listen to her podcast. It’s a wealth of information, based on concrete examples.
Lewis Howes, you are a gem!
The way you question people and validate people…thank you for bringing great guests to us and for sharing your view that the world is a beautiful place.
Appreciate you and your support🧡
One of my favourite definitions of greatness, from all of your interviews 💚
Thank you! Appreciate you!
I love Dr Becky, she talks so much sense ❤
🙌
1:10:34 you need to feel good inside to act good on the outside. I loved the entire episode, but this literally made me cry because it’s so true. Thanks Dr. Becky and thanks Lewis for this podcast.
You're welcome! Thank you for watching and sending your love :)
I didn't know about all she has shared but I have been connecting with Boy's the way she explained. It works.
This is such a great topic. Parenting and the cause of behavior is an important argument and I would like to see more of those conversations.
Thank you for your great work.
Perfect explanation Dr. Becky...Emotional Cognition IS our first cognitive process-- so it must be imbued first.
Against all the advice, I have never punished or yelled at my kid. It just didn't make sense to me - instead I created a connection with her. I knew that yelling and punishment would just make a kid feel unheard/angry/defiant, not create real change. She's 13 now and just a great kid.
Thank you so much for making this happen. I am beyond grateful for this incredibly helpful information. I have been craving guidance and this was so relevant!! Awesome
Thank you for tuning in! :)
Minute 15:01 😮 Making ur kids happy sets them up for an adulthood of anxiety bcuz they’ve now encoded a handful of emotions that are unacceptable HOLY WOWZERS! That explains my life and my kids lives. Omg now how to heal this!
This talk is Gold for parents. I will be sharing this with many parents i know!!
This is one of the most interesting interview i heard on the subject! This guest is amazing!! Thank you so much for presenting her ideas, it is precious and she is so great at vulgarizing! Wonderful discovery!!! Many thanks!!!
So glad you enjoyed it! Appreciate you for watching!
So many insights from the episode! Thank you both Lewis and Dr. Becky 🫶
You're welcome,thank you for tuning in 🧡
Lewis, this is by far one of your best 💫 She is amazing and so is her revolutionary teaching. Thank you both so much...please have her back, and soon 😊
Isnt her "revolutionary" teaching normal knowledge?
All my kids have all been super polite and have remember thank you and all. My small way to help teach grandkids their manners is this:
Birthdays. Christmas, trips
For little ones still living at home I like thank yous( hopefully I remember them without seniorfreeze) they still get gifts from me no matter what.
For the grown ups, on their own I remember those who remember us for b days and Christmas, in any inexpensive way and who thank us for presents.
Love mom, love grandma
Such a valuable talk. Thank you so much for having her. I am taking notes along the way. She said there were three points, I got the first two (Connect before correct, Building resiliance over happiness, what's the third one? Thank you so much
Glad you enjoyed it! Thanks for watching!
For parents of gen alpha kids I have noticed that these kids are more independent, brave, and less ‘controllable’ than any other generation. At first I was thrown by this because it is so different than how I was as a kid but then I started to see the beautiful future that they will be shaping and it all made sense. The world needs them to help fix and corse correct not to follow the path that has led us to where we are. We need to empower our gen alpha to be the leaders that they are and encourage their revolutionary ways! This can look like chaos when they are three and four but in time the fruits of these shift in perspective has helped my children shine and thrive. It wasn’t them that had to change to make it happen but my perspective. Hope this helps someone ❤❤❤
Thank you.
This is the BEST VIDEO I EVER WATCHED for parenting ❤ Beyond grateful
So glad you enjoyed it! Appreciate you for watching.
Resilience is not the goal for children. It’s the bare minimum. The real goal is antifragility, which is the ability to develop in response to the challenges of life. Resilience is simply withstanding difficulties, antifragility is about growing from them.
Yup I say adaptability 😅 Ability to adapt to different situations is all you need for excellence or survival
OMG !!! I feel like this is a POWERFUL message!!! Thank you !!!!!!!
She is so REAL !!!!
Yes, childhood and emotional intelligence isn't just for leadership in the workplace.
Fantastic interview! She is amazing and I would love to learn more from her about adolescents & teens.
Thank you so much for your feedback 🙂
I LOVE Dr. Becky! So excited to see her on your show!
🧡
I think her topic on repair is invaluable! Please have her back on!!
I work with so many adults that can't regulate their emotions and they have children that avoid them. Hopefully the younger generation will be better.
Amazing. Thank you.
I would like to forward it to some friends who are not so fluent in English but difficult to understand cause she speaks so fast. If I have the time I will translate it to them ❤️
Many of the concepts mentioned in good parenting books and she has summarised it nicely..
This podcast is amazing , all wisdom insight! Congrats to Becky & you Lewis!!! Just keep it up
Thank you so much!
More power to you for following your intuition Dr. Becky
I disagree that kids don’t validate us for being leaders, because after putting up a boundary, after the struggle, kids will love you more and will be very sweet and obedient for a time. That’s very validating, at least in my experience.
parenting isn't about validating YOU though. They aren't here to validate YOU. You're here to validate THEM.
so if you're doing everything out of a place of 'I need obedience ot feel respected and validated' you aren't parenting the kids, you're trying to control the situation.
Thank you! Just what I needed to learn.
Just ordered your book.
Becky is a gift to this generation of parents!
Great conversation.
Lewis, you are such a sweetheart and a great listener. A very good roll model for young men these days. Keep up the good work!
Thank you! I really appreciate the feedback!
Actually I think kids heal us but not the way she meant. Kids are triggering, obviously and they should help us to become better ourselves. We learn a lot about ourselves when we have kids and they are a perfect occasion for learning and sharing love and patience.
And it’s not easy it will make you tired but happy if you progress.
It was amazing to hear it.
I will come back again.
My outer adult need some healing too…😂
If the parent and the child have a healthy attachment they make eachother happy by being there for one another, not by actions.
I loved her definitions, esp the one about entitlement. So well put.
So glad you enjoyed it! Appreciate you for watching.
This’s very insightful useful impactful information. Thank you both for timely conversation.Stay bless ✌️❤️🙏⭐️🫶🏽
So glad you enjoyed it! Appreciate you for watching.
Yes, great content! Exactly what I needed to hear. Thanks a lot!
I liked the cinversation so much. It is so useful and informative and even more interesting. 👍👍
Connect before you correct.
9:38 I hope it's never too late.
Dr.Becky !!! 🤗🤩 what a lovely surprise! Love her content !
The Special Education teacher called to say "He said he is does not like his self bcz he cannot Read." He was sad bcz his brother had migrated,I was sad bcz I was a teacher missing her first son. I had to make my baby happy again. So we did fun activities. Then we designed a Reading Program that makes anyone Read well faster. It is my side hustle. I even became an author. My baby reads everything, he is now an electrician in training. Boom.
Appreciate you for this beautiful sharing!
I will relisten to this again. Many good insights. Thank you.
So glad you enjoyed it! Appreciate you for listening.
2 seconds in & 100% truth!
This is one of the best speche from Dr. ..in life experience. Thank you ❤
So glad you enjoyed it! Appreciate you for watching.
This sounds very much like Dr Gordon Neufeld’s Attachment Based Developmental Approach run through the Neufeld Institute in Vancouver. If it is based on his work it would be great to hear him credited. Fantastic to hear someone with a platform spreading that it is all about our emotions especially the vulnerable ones!
Thank you for that! Amazing conversation 😀
Someone talking practical thanks for this podcast amazing
👍
Great, meaningful, important, and insightful conversation.
I appreciate your feedback, thank you so much for watching! 🙏🙌
Love this! She is brilliant.
🙌
no judgement , no problem solving
just be present
I like her bench method!
Thank you so much for this beautiful talk 💞✨️🎶🪷
🙏🙏
Sheesh… so many golden nuggets in this video. Thank you 🙏🏻
So glad you enjoyed it! Appreciate you for watching.
watching this not as a parent but as someone's kid who probably needs some healing from wrong parenting that i don't know about. im a ball of anxiety and my coping mechanism is avoidance so i think i need this
Yikes. I was the kid that my mum believed is a bad kid 😬 she even told me as a adult that she thought I’d “not turn out to be a good person” 😢 which is a weird compliment
Lewis always is locked in! Great stuff
I love seeing Dr Becky everywhere... should've known your show was next! ❤
Thanks for your incredible presentation today Dr. Becky
🙌
She is awesome!!!
Dr. Becky is amazing
🙌
What I really wanna know is how as a mother I can go about a in public tantrum from a toddler; like for instance the airport? On an airplane? Or in a government building? 😂 I know these are such specific place but for me these are the place where I just go BLANK and just not know what the hell to do! While inside I feel like omg the world is looking at me 😭 and I’m fumbling and I’m bribing just to put this situation to an END!!!
There is a great man Andrè Stern talking about raising kids. He is awesome. And is this compartible with what dr. gabor mate says about raise kids.
0:03 @lewis howes thank you for such a great guest! Feeling blessed for useful and beautiful content 😊👍
Just love your podcasts. Thank you!
Thank you! Appreciate you for being here 🧡
This should be a requirement for every parent to watch before they leave the delivery room!! ...well maybe that's an aggressive request but it should be required to watch before the first kid is 2. :-) great interview Lewis!
Thank you for taking the time out of your day to check out the interview! So glad you enjoyed it🧡
This was beautiful! Thank you!!❤
You're welcome, thank you for watching🧡
There are so many parenting style trends, but it boils down to the basic things...our job is to love them no matter what, prepare them to one day be happy, confident, self sufficient adults who arnt prey to bad people who want to take advantage of them and in the meantime protect them while they are learning. I feel like most parenting models lack in one area but not her. Her advice works bc it comes from love, common sense & from a child's eyes.
Don’t have kids until you have healed yourself. That’s what her message should be. OR start therapy once you find out you are pregnant. If you are mentally healthy, your kid(s) have a much higher likelihood of being mentally healthy too. 💕
Most of ppl don't know how much or what is 'broken' till they have kids that tigger them constantly.. really, you get to know yourself so much being with them.
Said that, not everybody have that kind of money.. have you any idea how much costs going to therapy every week or so??
Showing our kids that we make mistakes , that this world is full of people who make mistakes , is more realistic. If you don’t have money, watching videos and sourcing cheaper options for councillors (universities psychology faculty or something like Catholic Care, where it’s a fraction of the cost) and showing our kids that we are, at any age, trying to be better humans … I reckon that would be great and more realistic.
@@giada0ghwmuch cheaper than raising a child.
The problem is that is you start to heal yourself you discover that there won’t be a point throughout your life when you’ll feel completely done healing :)
If you however might feel ‘healed’, you should know your blind spot is facing you in that moment.
Awesome :) thanks for this. Parenting is the most import if parents want to be successful in any other area of their lives :)
You're welcome,thank you for tuning in 🧡
Great advice! I’m struggling with knowing how to emotionally help my daughter when she’s crying to go into school once or twice a week. She has anxiety with how hard school can be and cries when she get out of the car or needs me to walk her in. It’s hard to see her having a rough start to her mornings. Shes in third grade, does great in schools and has friends! She expressed that it’s a long day for her and doesn’t like school overall. Any suggestions?
Thank you 🙏🏾