Through watching your video's Kim, as well as Mom on the spectrum and Crappy Childhood Fairy, they have all led me to the point I am now, which is finally getting assessed and diagnosed as Autistic at the end of September this year. I was already diagnosed previously with anxiety, depression, CPTSD but could never work out the triggers or the cause of all my struggles until I saw all your video's. Thank you so much for helping me finally understand myself at 51 years of age. I am processing so much now and it is a huge learning curve of ups and downs!!!, but I finally feel at ease with myself. I am so pleased to be neurodivergent, not a broken neurotypical which is how I have felt my whole life. Keep up the awesome work as it is helping so many of us.🧡👍😊🙏
I, too, am 51 and watch all those UA-cam channels. I'm going for an autism assessment in December and an ADHD assessment in January. I'm 99% sure I have both. I wish you all the best for the future.
@JWGB1956 wow, that's great you have your assessments soon. Good luck with those and best wishes for the future too. Its been a rollercoaster but these channels and reading books on the subject have really helped me. 👍🧡
I'm heartbroken that due to untreated ADHD with autistic traits, I saw my children's school years as something to "get thru" rather than enjoying and savoring the moments and experiences. They are now 23 and 20. My son is struggling with career choices and my daughter has gone no contact. The shame and guilt is overwhelming. 😢😢😢
this is one of the most important and most neglected topics in mental health discussions. i'm so glad there is ample support for children who experienced trauma. where is support for parents in crisis or families as a whole? and in the aftermath, a parent's regrets are real and painful and need to be grieved.
Dont know if this helps, Dee.. as an ex teacher, lived in various places...with various " families" ...the school system wasn't set up to support you and it takes a whole community to bring children up. I strongly feel we choose our parents for all kindsa reasons... they know you did your best, deep down, we all do at the time... and cherishing moments is what we have now You were there every day feeding and giving shelter I'm sure. Much more besides. ❤ be gentle with yourself she'll understand in time ❤❤❤ ( as a girl who went no contact with her mum, now aged 55) we learnt to accept eachother Some families shift and change but nothing will stop you loving ❤ And Being Loved ❤
The heartbreak and grieving for what could have been is so real 😢 My own story very much like yours. So many day to day memories of my 3 children growing up I can’t even remember, looking back I was existing in constant survival mode. My son doesn’t contact me at all, I have grandkids I’ve never met. 68 years old and going for a formal ADHD assessment in a few days. Take care….❤
Thank you for this video! I am self diagnosed autistic and I waited all year to get in for an assessment. It turned out the psychologist was only using the standard stereotypical male model of testing. She attributed everything to my CPTSD and depression. I felt so gaslit and embarrassed. Your video came at the right time ❤️
I went through an autism support organization to try and find a psychologist who would asses me. They gave me a list of psychologist and I called the first female one in my area. Her first question was, why at my age (late 50s) would I want or need a diagnosis. I was completely shocked by this. I assumed being a female that another female would be more understanding and approachable. Fast forward, I found a male psychologist who had more experience assessing adult female autism. Shop around, phone interview before booking an assessment. It’s your life and your health. PS my female family doctor also tried to talk me out of being autistic after I told her I scored 98% on the ASPIE quiz and very high in other screening quizzes. I asked her point blank if she knew what autism was and she said, well I’m not an expert. She has never heard of the ASPIE quiz. I said, I’ve already booked a professional assessment with a psychologist.
This! I waited all year for my assessment. I had a bunch of stuff written out and had taken all the self tests, but he refused to look at it. He said that because I could talk to him he couldn't diagnose me as autistic. Instead, I got C-PTSD with major depression-in remission. I have already been diagnosed with ADHD, but he said he wasn't even sure about that. I am now so dejected and so sick of psych ppl gaslighting me, too.
@@AnnieWhere73That sounds terrible you had to deal that that! I don’t think he was qualified. It may help to ask if they had any experience diagnosing women and what qualifications they held before going to see them. Doctors are people. They may be top of their class or last of their class. They could be rude or sympathetic. Don’t give up on yourself. You are worth it.
Kim, your encouragement allowed me to view my life and trauma through an autistic lens and like a kaleidoscope pattern suddenly emerges, so did my true reality. This past year has been the best of my life, setting many of my griefs and devils to rest. Thank you❤
Listening to you I realized the amount of guilt I always felt for being so "high maintenance", so picky. I've been angry at myself for it. Of course, this ties up perfectly to the fact that I'm female who is also highly atractive and always had a personal style that got me praise, all to say, I fit the "high maintenance" stereotype. But, nope, just austistic, a life consumed by sensory issues. Thank you so much for your work ❤
So what does it say about our society and it's expectations on females that a female autistic who has learned to mask well is, no matter her own inner struggles, treated as a "normal" person who just needs to get a grip sometimes but is otherwise an ordinary woman. Society LIKES masking females because we're quiet, polite, don't complain, don't "make a fuss" we STRIVE to "fit in" It's very sad.
I have to take comfort in knowing that 7 year old me would’ve gotten diagnosed with autism if I was in school now. at least it is on the radar. I spent my childhood hating going to school, despite really liking learning. I was teased mercilessly 2-5th grade and have struggled with self esteem issues ever since. I had some of the uncontrolled factors such as advanced maternal age and selective mutism. people underestimate the amount of grief undiagnosed women have about life. Had I known autism was my issue, I would’ve made different choices
I'm self diagnosed, waiting for an appointment with the doctor for a diagnosis. I just flat out told the dentist, cause after my husband passed, I've gotten so bad at masking in high stress situations. It worked out, I didn't try to not cry, not fidget and just let me be what I needed to. For the first time ever, I didn't get sick for a day or three after seeing the dentist. Interesting results.
4:40 Hah!! I'm doing that now. Its so soothing to me and makes me feel like it helps me think. I often wonder if it mimics the feeling of being in my mother's womb...
The part when you spoke about the struggles with teenagers😭❤️after i was diagnosed last year as autistic,Mine have been amazing,they've tried to understand but they still cook at 10pm😭I HATE THAT!but I love that they cook just wish we had our own quarters because the smell at that time of night 🤢😂❤
Thank you for continuing to produce these excellent videos when you must be obviously stress over your physical health at the moment. At least if the cheek is itchy, that is a sign that it is healing well. I want to be able to go to a Concert for Dimash. All my attempts at attending ballet, musicals or shows have failed miserably. Do you know of a drug that can safely shut down our sensory issues for a day or 2???😢
Thanks so much for sharing that we can have hyper empathie. I brought up 3 times that I think Iam autistic and because Iam very empathic it got declined twice. I remember my neurologist said: you fit 100% with all of your behaviour but you can read people and have compassion that's why it cant be. Luckily the third person did believe me and I am waiting for an assesment now. This believe that you are not autistic if you have empathie really made me struggle believing myself.
I am not sure if people think I am high maintanence but I can relate to the rigid need of things being a certain way. My said I want to have thing my way all the time though. This led me to stop voicing these needs.
I am disgusted with the psychiatric medical community. I was diagnosed with everything else. It started with OCD and ended with Rapid Cycling bipolar which doesn't even exist because that is complex PTSD. I was so obviously autistic but I was never diagnosed properly and instead was blamed for autistic behaviors that I could not help. My mother thought I was having temper tantrums when I was having autistic meltdowns. I am beyond angry at my mother and the medical community and especially psychiatrists for my life. Psychiatry blamed me four things I could not help as I was autistic. But the last 50 years of Psychiatry have been complete bulshit where the psychiatrists blame the children for what the parents caused and for what genetics did. I personally think that psychiatrists should be banned from the medical community and never allowed to practice again because none of them ever got anything right ever. I had to diagnose myself and then prove it. I hate psychiatrists they are the narcissistic idiots of the medical world
My first experience with a psychiatrist has been great. He listens to me and when I mentioned I might be autistic, he gave me a screening test right away. I scored very high and he just said, with a genuine smile, "Yeah, you probably are on the spectrum!" He has been great with my ADHD as well. And he recommends supplements and and suggests ways to change my thinking and behavior alongside prescribed medication, which is really cool, as well as explaining to me how the meds actually work. Plus he knows I'm poor, so he gives me discounted appointments. Not all psychiatrists are bad.
I strongly suspect that I am on the spectrum. Born premature and highly sensitive, I have experienced many of the symptoms you list. I often feel so awkward. My therapist believes my symptoms are due to my CPTSD alone. I wish I could get tested.
I would love to access your videos more deeply. Would you consider time stamping?? I don't always have time to watch front to back, even though I want to :((❤
Slightly off topic, but still related to sensitivity, I had hyperemesis gravidarum with both pregnancies, and I wonder if that has something to do with autism. I definitely had some kind of PTSD. Vomiting many times a day, a constant and debilitating nausea, unable to eat and many more, left a long lasting scar. I think it also caused me to not properly bond with my kids 😢
Omg I love these that is why I have 3 of them and it’s all I’m wearing lol- they are from hollister and so soft! Would never usually go there but was shopping with my daughter❤love that you’re honoring yourself!!👏👏👏❤
@@DrKimSage would you say there's possibly a connection between migraines and autism. I took note a long time ago that there's a connection between sensory overload and migraines.
How do you differentiate between high level austism and an anxiety disorder..or can they presen together. My daughter fits intomthe descriptin of an HSP..highly sensitive person. Or is HSP another name for someone with autism and or anxiety. It.s all so confusing. She.s always been sensitive to noises, never coped being in small spaces with other kids when she was little, easily over stimulated ..but sociable and always has made friends easily. Easily stressed and upset. I have always had a panic disorder so guess i.ve passed it on.,very ashamed. But i read some of the spectrum traits and i think hmmm this is her too.
I'm always confused about what masking is. Doesn't everyone "mask" - like they need to control their emotions and act in certain ways to be acceptable? I thought everyone did that? I often get moments at work where I find my emotions overwhelming me or I get anxious or sounds might be really irritating me, but I hide my distress on the outside and try to act normal so no one notices. Is that masking?
Through watching your video's Kim, as well as Mom on the spectrum and Crappy Childhood Fairy, they have all led me to the point I am now, which is finally getting assessed and diagnosed as Autistic at the end of September this year. I was already diagnosed previously with anxiety, depression, CPTSD but could never work out the triggers or the cause of all my struggles until I saw all your video's. Thank you so much for helping me finally understand myself at 51 years of age. I am processing so much now and it is a huge learning curve of ups and downs!!!, but I finally feel at ease with myself. I am so pleased to be neurodivergent, not a broken neurotypical which is how I have felt my whole life. Keep up the awesome work as it is helping so many of us.🧡👍😊🙏
I am going to get an assessment because I know I am. It will explain SO MANY THINGS! ❤ I am 56. Thank you for sharing.
I, too, am 51 and watch all those UA-cam channels. I'm going for an autism assessment in December and an ADHD assessment in January. I'm 99% sure I have both. I wish you all the best for the future.
@JWGB1956 wow, that's great you have your assessments soon. Good luck with those and best wishes for the future too. Its been a rollercoaster but these channels and reading books on the subject have really helped me. 👍🧡
It has been a wonderful ourney of self discovery; our journeys are almost parallel and your work has been so integral in mine ...Thank you Dr Kim 🥰
I'm heartbroken that due to untreated ADHD with autistic traits, I saw my children's school years as something to "get thru" rather than enjoying and savoring the moments and experiences. They are now 23 and 20. My son is struggling with career choices and my daughter has gone no contact. The shame and guilt is overwhelming. 😢😢😢
this is one of the most important and most neglected topics in mental health discussions. i'm so glad there is ample support for children who experienced trauma. where is support for parents in crisis or families as a whole? and in the aftermath, a parent's regrets are real and painful and need to be grieved.
Dont know if this helps, Dee.. as an ex teacher, lived in various places...with various " families" ...the school system wasn't set up to support you and it takes a whole community to bring children up. I strongly feel we choose our parents for all kindsa reasons... they know you did your best, deep down, we all do at the time... and cherishing moments is what we have now
You were there every day feeding and giving shelter I'm sure. Much more besides. ❤ be gentle with yourself she'll understand in time ❤❤❤ ( as a girl who went no contact with her mum, now aged 55) we learnt to accept eachother
Some families shift and change but nothing will stop you loving ❤
And Being Loved ❤
@ Thank you so much. she did send me a Happy Birthday text so I have hope for a reconciliation 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
The heartbreak and grieving for what could have been is so real 😢 My own story very much like yours. So many day to day memories of my 3 children growing up I can’t even remember, looking back I was existing in constant survival mode. My son doesn’t contact me at all, I have grandkids I’ve never met. 68 years old and going for a formal ADHD assessment in a few days. Take care….❤
@ You too. thanks for sharing 🙏🏻
Thank you for this video! I am self diagnosed autistic and I waited all year to get in for an assessment. It turned out the psychologist was only using the standard stereotypical male model of testing. She attributed everything to my CPTSD and depression. I felt so gaslit and embarrassed. Your video came at the right time ❤️
This is part of why I'm not going to get assessed but also the prejudice that will inevitably happen.
Same. I'll be 69 next week. Only shared with a few people. Get more validation and support here. Thank you ❣️
I went through an autism support organization to try and find a psychologist who would asses me. They gave me a list of psychologist and I called the first female one in my area. Her first question was, why at my age (late 50s) would I want or need a diagnosis. I was completely shocked by this. I assumed being a female that another female would be more understanding and approachable. Fast forward, I found a male psychologist who had more experience assessing adult female autism. Shop around, phone interview before booking an assessment. It’s your life and your health. PS my female family doctor also tried to talk me out of being autistic after I told her I scored 98% on the ASPIE quiz and very high in other screening quizzes. I asked her point blank if she knew what autism was and she said, well I’m not an expert. She has never heard of the ASPIE quiz. I said, I’ve already booked a professional assessment with a psychologist.
This! I waited all year for my assessment. I had a bunch of stuff written out and had taken all the self tests, but he refused to look at it. He said that because I could talk to him he couldn't diagnose me as autistic. Instead, I got C-PTSD with major depression-in remission. I have already been diagnosed with ADHD, but he said he wasn't even sure about that. I am now so dejected and so sick of psych ppl gaslighting me, too.
@@AnnieWhere73That sounds terrible you had to deal that that! I don’t think he was qualified. It may help to ask if they had any experience diagnosing women and what qualifications they held before going to see them. Doctors are people. They may be top of their class or last of their class. They could be rude or sympathetic. Don’t give up on yourself. You are worth it.
Holy moly, great balls of fire. Never felt more explained, in my life. Thank you 💓
I’m only recently connecting a lot of the dots thank you so much for sharing you’re invaluable content ❤
❤❤❤
Kim, your encouragement allowed me to view my life and trauma through an autistic lens and like a kaleidoscope pattern suddenly emerges, so did my true reality. This past year has been the best of my life, setting many of my griefs and devils to rest. Thank you❤
Listening to you I realized the amount of guilt I always felt for being so "high maintenance", so picky. I've been angry at myself for it. Of course, this ties up perfectly to the fact that I'm female who is also highly atractive and always had a personal style that got me praise, all to say, I fit the "high maintenance" stereotype. But, nope, just austistic, a life consumed by sensory issues.
Thank you so much for your work ❤
This is my testimony
So what does it say about our society and it's expectations on females that a female autistic who has learned to mask well is, no matter her own inner struggles, treated as a "normal" person who just needs to get a grip sometimes but is otherwise an ordinary woman. Society LIKES masking females because we're quiet, polite, don't complain, don't "make a fuss" we STRIVE to "fit in"
It's very sad.
I have to take comfort in knowing that 7 year old me would’ve gotten diagnosed with autism if I was in school now. at least it is on the radar.
I spent my childhood hating going to school, despite really liking learning. I was teased mercilessly 2-5th grade and have struggled with self esteem issues ever since. I had some of the uncontrolled factors such as advanced maternal age and selective mutism.
people underestimate the amount of grief undiagnosed women have about life. Had I known autism was my issue, I would’ve made different choices
Thank you for sharing this news is so so so important! I love you!!! Brilliant.
I'm self diagnosed, waiting for an appointment with the doctor for a diagnosis. I just flat out told the dentist, cause after my husband passed, I've gotten so bad at masking in high stress situations. It worked out, I didn't try to not cry, not fidget and just let me be what I needed to. For the first time ever, I didn't get sick for a day or three after seeing the dentist. Interesting results.
I am super lucky…my dentist is also autistic.
@@faeriesmak Nice! That has to be helpful.
4:40
Hah!! I'm doing that now. Its so soothing to me and makes me feel like it helps me think. I often wonder if it mimics the feeling of being in my mother's womb...
I'm getting assessed on February ❤ I'm ADHD but self diagnosed autistic too
Thank you. You have empowered me to accept who I am and even like myself. ❤
The part when you spoke about the struggles with teenagers😭❤️after i was diagnosed last year as autistic,Mine have been amazing,they've tried to understand but they still cook at 10pm😭I HATE THAT!but I love that they cook just wish we had our own quarters because the smell at that time of night 🤢😂❤
I love The Thought Spot
Thank you for continuing to produce these excellent videos when you must be obviously stress over your physical health at the moment. At least if the cheek is itchy, that is a sign that it is healing well.
I want to be able to go to a Concert for Dimash. All my attempts at attending ballet, musicals or shows have failed miserably.
Do you know of a drug that can safely shut down our sensory issues for a day or 2???😢
Thanks so much for sharing that we can have hyper empathie. I brought up 3 times that I think Iam autistic and because Iam very empathic it got declined twice. I remember my neurologist said: you fit 100% with all of your behaviour but you can read people and have compassion that's why it cant be. Luckily the third person did believe me and I am waiting for an assesment now. This believe that you are not autistic if you have empathie really made me struggle believing myself.
I am not sure if people think I am high maintanence but I can relate to the rigid need of things being a certain way. My said I want to have thing my way all the time though. This led me to stop voicing these needs.
I am disgusted with the psychiatric medical community. I was diagnosed with everything else. It started with OCD and ended with Rapid Cycling bipolar which doesn't even exist because that is complex PTSD. I was so obviously autistic but I was never diagnosed properly and instead was blamed for autistic behaviors that I could not help. My mother thought I was having temper tantrums when I was having autistic meltdowns. I am beyond angry at my mother and the medical community and especially psychiatrists for my life. Psychiatry blamed me four things I could not help as I was autistic. But the last 50 years of Psychiatry have been complete bulshit where the psychiatrists blame the children for what the parents caused and for what genetics did. I personally think that psychiatrists should be banned from the medical community and never allowed to practice again because none of them ever got anything right ever. I had to diagnose myself and then prove it. I hate psychiatrists they are the narcissistic idiots of the medical world
👏
💯% ditto but only 45 years of idiocy for me.👍
My first experience with a psychiatrist has been great. He listens to me and when I mentioned I might be autistic, he gave me a screening test right away. I scored very high and he just said, with a genuine smile, "Yeah, you probably are on the spectrum!" He has been great with my ADHD as well. And he recommends supplements and and suggests ways to change my thinking and behavior alongside prescribed medication, which is really cool, as well as explaining to me how the meds actually work. Plus he knows I'm poor, so he gives me discounted appointments. Not all psychiatrists are bad.
I strongly suspect that I am on the spectrum. Born premature and highly sensitive, I have experienced many of the symptoms you list. I often feel so awkward. My therapist believes my symptoms are due to my CPTSD alone. I wish I could get tested.
This is so on point!!!!
Yep I have all of these. But there's so much crossover with ADHD.
I would love to access your videos more deeply. Would you consider time stamping?? I don't always have time to watch front to back, even though I want to :((❤
Slightly off topic, but still related to sensitivity, I had hyperemesis gravidarum with both pregnancies, and I wonder if that has something to do with autism. I definitely had some kind of PTSD. Vomiting many times a day, a constant and debilitating nausea, unable to eat and many more, left a long lasting scar. I think it also caused me to not properly bond with my kids 😢
Sweatshirt link please 🙏
I do think I have autism/adhd but I'm learning to honor myself with somatic coaching
Omg I love these that is why I have 3 of them and it’s all I’m wearing lol- they are from hollister and so soft! Would never usually go there but was shopping with my daughter❤love that you’re honoring yourself!!👏👏👏❤
@ thank you I just ordered 3 also. 80's forever ❤️
Thank you Dr Kim 🙏
Raging sensory issues…
It’s so overwhelming right?💔🙏🏻🩷
@@DrKimSage would you say there's possibly a connection between migraines and autism. I took note a long time ago that there's a connection between sensory overload and migraines.
@@Sarah-with-an-HMe too. Need a lot of Eletriptane 40mg. Now in vacation in thailand, need nothing.
How do you differentiate between high level austism and an anxiety disorder..or can they presen together. My daughter fits intomthe descriptin of an HSP..highly sensitive person. Or is HSP another name for someone with autism and or anxiety. It.s all so confusing. She.s always been sensitive to noises, never coped being in small spaces with other kids when she was little, easily over stimulated ..but sociable and always has made friends easily. Easily stressed and upset. I have always had a panic disorder so guess i.ve passed it on.,very ashamed. But i read some of the spectrum traits and i think hmmm this is her too.
✨🕯️✨thank you, so helpful. ✨🪷✨
I'm always confused about what masking is. Doesn't everyone "mask" - like they need to control their emotions and act in certain ways to be acceptable? I thought everyone did that? I often get moments at work where I find my emotions overwhelming me or I get anxious or sounds might be really irritating me, but I hide my distress on the outside and try to act normal so no one notices. Is that masking?
🏆
Is the lack of ability to self validate your emotions a trait of autism or is that an attachment disorder
❤