o̶v̶e̶r̶sharing in seattle | unemployment gone sour?
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- Опубліковано 11 лип 2024
- overcommitting myself just feels like committing myself and i step in a lot of holes because of it
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things mentioned -
• quitted podcast: shows.acast.com/quitted/episo...
• the politics of feeling good by adrienne maree brown
0:00 - eggliness
1:08 - addressing a past video
1:41 - depression relapse chat
3:36 - it's rly f*cking hard for me to quit things
10:00 - therapy & seattle scenes
12:24 - what it feels like to be 26
Get The Coma Song by Darwin Deez here t.lickd.co/877677a8883344048f...
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she/her.
BUSINESS INQUIRIES: katherout@gmail.com - Навчання та стиль
Not to reference the smallest takeaway from this vid, but… it could be an infinity scarf. Love you!!
I always like to remember “you can get off the hamster wheel at any time” I’ve currently taken one week off work for bad mental health and I still feel guilty! unfortunately we were not brought up knowing mental health like we did physical so it’s almost like we have to train ourselves to allow for that aspect which is crazy!
Break that "I feel guilty" feeling real soon... never feel guilty for stepping back, taking a rest and rethinking things... it's just part of life. Guilt isn't necessary.
Currently having a hard time remembering the fact that having fun isn't the same as resting. Feel you 🙆
Ive come to terms with the fact that as humans our priorities are constantly evolving. Sometimes I’m in a season where I’m doing Duolingo every day or walking my dogs every day or drinking matcha tea every day, and sometimes I don’t do those things. And that’s okay! Give yourself grace and know that on days when it’s most important to you, you will do it.
Feeling full vs doing everything you have interest in was such a good way to put that. I definitely struggle with this and find myself dropping self care when I get too busy even if it’s doing things I love. It’s like we grab everything we can and run, but don’t realize we’re running towards burnout rather than enjoying everything we’re doing. I think mindfulness is the different in those two different states and I struggle with staying committed to mindfulness practices. I need to slow down and realize that not drowning in opportunities is fine. What we have going on is fine, we just don’t notice it because we’re not living in the moment.
Guys, Seasonal Affective Disorder can be for any season.
hi!! Can you do a video of what hobbies and activities keep you busy? and how you meet people etc? also, please never stop making these oversharing videos
I can’t help but feel that our lives are somewhat in sync. Just this week I was feeling down like I hadn’t ‘achieved’ enough this year. It felt like 2022 has been a year of quitting for me; quitting my job, quitting my relationship, having summer off. But when I sat down to journal I realised that things must end to make way for the new, so my ‘year of quitting’ is a year of progress even though it doesn’t feel like it right now, I have to make space for the new.
I totally felt this. In a matter of months I got to finally move out of my parents house (again lol) and got a full time job. I wanted it to fix everything in a way that it frankly didn't because I realized that even if things were 'good' the things that had happened weren't in line with what I actually wanted even if it seemed like things were good. I've been in conflict with myself about the fact that I want to apply to and attend a very expensive grad program and contemplating the cost benefit analysis of that decision but I realized it was a decision for me only and that was what makes me feel so anxious about it is the utter selfishness I feel about it. I'm still working through it. I'm working through the nauseousness I feel that I want to do something for me that maybe isn't practical or doesn't make sense to other people but I also don't think it's going to stop me from doing it and hearing you reflect those things really felt like how I imagine other people experience religion of hearing the right thing in the right way at the right time
I was and still am in the same position (regarding grad school & moving out of parents house/ multiple times). My opinion? Do the thing. Sometimes we deserve to be selfish, every once in a while.
I also feel like I have reverse SAD. Summer makes me feel lethargic and slow. Fall and winter are when I feel my best emotionally! (egghead)
I suffer hard from seasonal affective and live in Phoenix. It's affirming to hear someone else whose #1 measure of happiness isn't the amount of sunshine in the sky! SO here for your book recs. As always, thanks for recording this and sharing with us, from one egghead to another.
Hey Katherine, not to downplay the biological/inner chemical works inside your brain but depression can be from external factors a lot too. I'd recommend reading Lost Connections by Johann Hari to understand more about this - the friends you have, the community you are building and a general sense of purpose (doesn't have to be via work or anything, this can mean maintaining a garden with your neighbors, being a kind and consistent friend, being part of a shared interest group where you do activities frequently together like dancing, writing, etc. can help significantly. I was in deep depression in my college years when I was in business school and I thought there was something wrong with me, turns out I was just feeling so helpless because I am surrounded by the wrong type of people and doing the things that suck the soul out of me.
Nothing against ow you are feeling though, just some food for thoughts.
Every time I experience unemployment my depression gets worse because my separation was always because of abuse and illegal mistreatment and I still felt responsible and bad that yet again I wasn't earning a living wage and failing to adult properly and that I would have to yet again figure out a job and money problems and not be able to afford to travel like I really wanted to. Having too much time on my hands makes me less motivated and more depressed and I waste that time doing nothing but worrying and stressing and thinking of everything I should or could be doing so then I am exhausted. It is such a horrible cycle. Take this week for example I have been working for myself and only have 1 consistent client while I study. I signed another client who is paying me what I want and didn't haggle my price and she is a complete joy. Now, this week I feel so excited and optimistic. I will have more money coming in and I went to the gym and walked and was more focused on studying. I suddenly feel happy and so excited for the future over 1 small thing happening in my life that turned everything around. I know it won't last long but I have to take the wins as they come and allow myself to celebrate and feel proud.
Egghead you are amazing and I am so proud of you taking care of yourself and recognizing your boundaries. I think it is so important that we realize where we need to prune back in life. Also your analogies are on point Kate. I quit my last job for my mental health and took my time applying for new positions. I am very happy where I am at now with my new job but easing into things slowly and started going to the gym slowly.
I resonate with this so. much. I also just quit my job recently and it took me a long time to come to terms with the situation and feel ready.
I would definitely have reverse seasonal affective disorder lol. I live in Florida and I get so depressed during the summer. It’s like our winter. Never leaving the house and it’s just too damn hot to do anything without feeling fatigued or tired after two hours. Fall/winter is my jam. It’s actually a decent enough temperature to do things
same with Texas, I gotta get out of here lolll
I relate to this so much! For the past 4 years now I’ve been figuring out how much I can actually handle and how much I want to actually handle (those two are very much not the same.) I’ve quit a lot of things, sometimes for good and sometimes just for a while. And it’s gotten easier to quit things overtime but, even with all this practice and growth and self awareness I still struggle to quit things sometimes. Especially with a chronic condition, I find myself wanting to take one more and fill my time and do alll the things I’d love to do. These last few years have been me realizing and reminding myself again and again that it’s okay to not do everything at once, I can go at a pace that feels good for me, and that taking on a bunch of activities makes me drained and frantic instead of satisfied or happy. Wishing you all the luck with your quitting endeavors. Quit & live 💖
the way that I relate SO much to every word that you say
girl ily!
Can't wait for another upload from you💫
Love these rants and reflections!! Wish I could come to Seattle tomorrow and hang out but you have too much going on.. I respect thay
That analogy of the "tray" being dedigned to make you pick 4 things i stead of just one.....awesome analogy. Sister, let me tell ya, that's a part of living I'm a veteran at, and the key to that is just looking at a partially empty tray and being like "This is fine."
Hey egghead! That pothos pruning metaphor was really great tbh. Needed that!!
i have never clicked so fast now that I'm doing my unemployment phase too
I haven't finished it yet before commenting this, but oh my god I'm 27 and can I just say the genuine unapologetic vulnerable energy you bring with a lot of what you say in your videos is SO HUMANLY CONNECTING. Like I want to be your friend, meet up in person, hang out, and have these nonjudgemental discussions about living life. Hope I'm able to do that one day. Keep being a rad person!
Always a joy to watch your videos and hear what’s new Kath ❤️ so wonderful that Annemarie visited!! I have the book Pleasure Activism and have been meaning to read it for so long this video is my sign to start soon!! Loved loved loved the Darwin Deez! Egghead 🥚 ! Thanks always for sharing your reflections. Sending love!
You answered your own conundrum with that simple little plant analogy :)
Ahhhh, LOVE Africa Brooke and her stance on things. VERY refreshing and eloquent and VERY strong in her stance on respect for herself and commanding it from others. I literally didn’t hear everything you said about her yet but had to throw that in ahaha!
I so feel you about being too packed with activities all summer and not feeling super good about it. I was so busy this summer and feel so burnt out :(
egghead
My fave egghead metaphor queen
I think the reason I love your videos so much is because it really feels like I'm on Facetime with a friend and listening to them talk about their lives. You always make me feel less alone, thank you.
This is what I do with my closest platonic friend, we just listen to each other go on about our lives and the discoveries we've made about ourselves recently, and give each other advice or just let each other vent and it feels good.
Ooof, I feel the reverse SAD as well. It’s been 90+ degrees in Denver, and all I wanna do is just hide in my apt
I can feel the heat loopiness through the screen! I'm really glad it has cooled down where I lived, I feel like I'm on a different plane of existence, when it's hot :') (egg head!)
I think I have reverse SAD too sometimes! I get summertime sadness but I feel so alive in winter!
EATING DINNER EARLIER AHHHHH Yes this spoke to me
as a fellow person who had hard time quitting things, it gets better! I don't know what happened, what was the moment that i already didn't care, so no insight here, but that feeling of obligation and wanting to be some amazing person will pass. And you just become yourself (for better or for worse lol)
This resonates with me Hellas
No because you might be on to something with the “reverse SAD”. I spent over half the summer in Massachusetts by the water where the average temp was around 80 degrees with a nice breeze and I had so much energy! Now I’m back in Houston where the average is in the 90s with disgusting humidity and I’m having a terrible time 😅
My partner definitely has reverse SAD, it’s really hard to do things when it so hot outside. We’re going to move north (eventually) but it’s too hot in NC in the summer
It's real! In Phoenix and can relate. I spend summers asking Siri how many days until November 😅
Not me getting an Adobe ad on your video LMAO
Love me some eggheads! lol, Love the lavender in a vase in the corner of the kitchen. Little tableaus like that in my house give my eyes a nice breather sometimes, which has lowered my anxiety slightly, when it's still new and fresh.
Even though you and I are at entirely different phases of our respective lives (I'm a fifty-something, divorced father of three) from different backgrounds (California vs New England, and while I haven't seen enough of your videos yet to know how you identify, you present female while I have always identified and presented male), EVEN SO you and I appear to be experiencing much the same things with regard to mental health, the Big Questions, and even living in Seattle. As a writer, I've noticed the profound truth that the more specific your story is, the more universal it can be.
Like you, I frequently wrestle with overcommitting myself and overbooking my time. And it is so very hard for me to quit things, even when it's obvious that I need to for the sake of everyone involved.
This hasn't always worked for me, but a trick that has *sometimes* helped is trying to block out time in my schedule for "down time" or "me time" or however one might want to label it.
For example: sure, host friends and family, but not on... Wednesdays. Ever. And, if someone is ONLY going to be in town on Wednesday, then for that week only, shift the sacred non-hosting day to Thursday. But every week MUST have a 'down time' day.
It's a thought, and it only has a chance of working if one is using some kind of discipline in keeping track of their schedule. There have been times in my life where I've been better about this than I am now. "Your Mileage May Vary."
I'm not sure why the UA-cam algorithm started putting you into my recommendations, but I'm glad it did. At the beginning of this episode, you said something along the lines of wanting to know that there are folks out there who hear you, who 'get it' (not your words, but that's how I heard it.) Rest assured, you're not the only egghead on this journey, and a lot of us are in your corner. 🙂
PS: Morning pages rule!
I live in AZ - I can confirm summers make me damn miserable
5:16 - relatable! I haven't been formally diagnosed or anything, but for a long time I joked about having "reverse SAD", and then I learned that indeed, Seasonal Affective Disorder can be _any_ season... it's just that it's seasonal that's the thing, not that it's winter. So, yeah. Maybe I have that, maybe you do too, and/or maybe heat just sucks. ;)
p.s. What _is_ an egghead, really, anyway? ;)
reverse seasonal depression is so reeallllll, I moved to texas from seattle (miss it sm ;_;) many years ago and I get in random slumps all the time bc its so overwhelmingly hot here for most of the year and I feel agitated 24/7. warm weather is ok in small doses but gets to be too much v fast
OMGGG Maggie rogers recommended this book recently!!!! Ok I’m convinced synchronicity babes
"I don't want my life to feel busy, I want it to feel full" Oof!
Thank you! I'm currently in a big phase of quitting and retraction in addition to chapters closing because it's naturally their time (end of committee roles etc). I feel like this is the first time I'm not rushing to fill those previous commitments with something else or something new. That's in part because I can't (graduating) and because I'm actively choosing not to in search of FULLNESS as a feeling instead of fullness in my calendar.
It's a weird awkward uncomfy period and it sucks saying no or quitting and ending things... but it'll be good ( I think haha)
two metaphors in one video really solidifies the egghead status tbh
thank GOODNESS im not the only one... "everything im involved in is like really fulfilling... it sucks to quit things you enjoy doing"
this one's more like overthinking in seattle 😂
I definitely get like 'heat depression' reverse SAD or something like that- it's the reason I left Australia because yes, where I lived in snowed in the winter and I really miss skiing and stuff but I was dying in the summer. I wasn't just depressed I would get really grumpy even angry- I felt trapped inside because it was too hot outside after like 8am and worst of all my workplace was not airconditioned (I'm a teacher- in Australia we get 5 wks off for summer, rather than months like other countries, however how workplace dress code is much more casual) nor was my home. I tried moving somewhere cooler and tbh, I think I could maybe live in Melbourne long term but just wanted to be somewhere more mild yet still connected to the rest of the world (i.e. not Tasmania). Literally everyone who knows me knows how grumpy I get in summer and how much I love winter. tbh though I wish I could have like Swedish summer and Australian winter but due to hemispheres it's not possible- if only there was somewhere more south in southern hemisphere (I don't think there's much work for an English-speaking maths teacher in pategonia unfortunately). Even NZ is too hot in the summer- I tried going there to escape Aussie heat one January only for them to have a heat wave and the most over 30 (and 40) days on record in one month 😢
I feel you, Egghead! Anxious 25 year old here 👋
Omg you should do a Patreon deep cut on your college essays!
i want talking egghead encore...ur subscribers r missing u katherout
PS was reading that ideal people weather is dry, steady and 23c. I think that's like 75f.
Everyone in the world and on the internet is having this same discussion about what hobbies or activities to keep and when to quit, and how long you should try something before you quit, that whole conversation. I feel like covid put us all on the same rhythm.
eggheads unite!
My curls go flat soo easy and then I look like an egg as well. I throw up a high pony so I look like a unicorn egg 🥚🦄
Hey girl! I’ll be in Seattle in 2 weeks and want to hang out 🥳
Haha 🥰😅 I have quit people who are detrimental to my mental health, or to my finances, and I've quit them cold turkey! Also quit a 6 figure job to honor my principles. My CEO boss wouldnt allow me to give my staff a raise and I quit on the spot!! Dont waste time and energy and meaningless things.
I Aldo hate the hot and sun. Both extremes make me feel shit
I have reverse SAD as well. So much so that even though I'm a native southerner, the older I get the more I consider moving up north. Also, if the big problem is having too much fun stuff to do and having to become more selective about which fun things you actually have time for, I'd say you're right that you'll look back on this time and laugh. Don't sweat the small stuff.
Summer SAD is hot garbage (pun not intended). Everyone around me loves summer. But for me, the first day it hits 70 degrees (I live in New England, so that's usually in March - global warming notwithstanding) it hits me like a pile of bricks. And I just feel like a weirdo for feeling miserable when I "should" be living it up.
how are you staying busy? I need more things to do to stop scrolling through my phone all day long
What IS so wrong with looking like an egg lookin ass. And I have also been recently cramming my life really full too… I was doing like ten zillion rec sports leagues and had so little time to rest. My bathroom was in shambles
I know this is not related but I like your hair
you're the best quitter ever! :)
You are too much of a people pleaser like me. Put yourself first
egg head! 🥚
egghead, for the *~algorithm~*
We have all been egghead at some point.
Eggs are cute!
Retweet on filling your life up with too many good things! Even if they’re good, they’re still things! Gotta take time and space for ourselves. Listen to Capacity by Charly Bliss - think you’d like it based off our shared music taste à la phoebe Bridgers
The things you say are poetry
(and for the record I don’t think you look like an egg but if you did eggs are adorable🥚. Also, I kiss my plants too! Started because I used to have a coworker who would talk to them and put the radio on for them.)
egghead ❤
I am late to this video but something Dr Devon Price said on Instagram a while back really resonated with me. “If you knew you could never be more productive than you are today who would you allow yourself to disappoint?” Just 🤯
I'd love to see a "two metaphor minimum" per clip. Your metaphors are great. The pruning metaphor is especially good. You do have to chop off pieces of yourself in order to stop negative growth, and thus enable positive growth elsewhere. Because the negative growth is sucking up all the energy.
To be honest, I don't really want you to have a big breakthrough and become perfectly sane, because then you'd have nothing to say. There would be no drama, friction, change, revelation, or learning. You'd just be zen like monk who meditates all day. That would be boring. I hope you continue on this journey down the rabbit hole of life. You're kind of like a mall cop in a rabbit hole. You're there to "observe and report." Not necessarily fix anything. Because things can't be fixed in a rabbit hole, they can just be understood and accepted.
Egghead! 👊
but if I write "egghead", people will think I'm being a bully
egghead 🍳
i am also an inverse SAD egghead ;)
I loved the double analogy I feel like it made this video special:)
This vid came at a good time. As of lately i’m literally overripe in assignments from unofficially double majoring in CS and Music. I hate the experience to death and want to switch out of CS because of crappy professors and into Music.
I could self-study CS if I wanted to do for cheaper AND not waste time trying to understand their slide presentations, stressing about midterms and barely understanding whatever I am learning. It feels dirty but I am advocating for the educational experiences I WANT to pay for!
But right now I’ve got to stop myself from playing the piano so I can catch up on my classes. I also want to find out if my idea of a loophole works where I can avoid CS classes while being able to socialize on campus and self-study music to prepare for major requirements and finally resume learning Digital Marketing.
Right now I’ve got to water less, not more, activities and involvements in my life so I can be there for the future
Egghead lol
idk what your sleep status is, but popping in here to say that most sleep hygiene stuff is kinda bullshit. sleep is a passive process, and doing stuff to “optimize” it often just ratchets up anxiety and makes insomnia more likely. sleep and rest is super important, but it’s not really something you can or should perfect! that’s just my 2 cents tho
do you watch asmr by chance? it’s not for everyone but it helps me sleep when i’m anxious
Don't you get paid through UA-cam?
To me you don't look like an egg, commenting egghead only because you asked us to, lol. Thanks for the reminder about pruning down, sometimes even some aspects of our lives that we love need to go in order to create space and free up energy for the new.
nice egghead 😄
Egghead 🥚
Surprised she can run with a bad back. Guess it isn't crippling until after 40.
Egghead :)
Egghead
#egghead
As someone with similar hair and head shape to yours, I feel the egghead struggle 😂
Natural underarm hair on women is beautiful.
Running in a 3M Aura??? Girl, that is truly incredible. I run every day and I like that mask but I don’t know that I’d survive mixing the two. Good for you.
P.s. egghead
🥚head
i would be more comfortable watching you if you looked at the camera rather than at yourself while you are talking at the camera ( us) .maybe its just me.
first!
I respect your journey to try to find answers through progressive means, but from my perspective it’s starting to look like smoke and mirrors.
Must be nice to live off Patreon’s!