Subsystem (Re)Discovery / New Host | D.I.D. System Developments
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- Опубліковано 30 вер 2024
- Dante and Tarrence summarize a few more things that are going on in our system, and how we’re working towards stability
TW- Some Real Stuff.
Mentioned are:
weight loss due to disordered eating
Allusions to feeling suicidal
The occasional curse word
We want to give big thanks to all who donated to help our cat!! Her vet appointment is tomorrow (Thursday), so hopefully the vet can fix her up quick 🐈❤️ We’ll update you all as we can
Our links are still under reconstruction, but here’s the mentioned Etsy link:
www.etsy.com/s...
Dante- "I don't want you worrying about us"
Dante in the nicest way possible, we couldn't not care if we tried. we are the #gobsquad and we will care for our goblin kings and queens and other non-binary royalty. you're not alone and we wish you the best.
"I don't want you guys to worry about us"
Jokes on you, I worry about everything and everyone
A meet the alters for this subsystem would be lit
Totally 👍
Sending hugs to your system and your cat!
Sending lots of prayers, and hugs
Huge support and love for everyone, bless you all for everything everyone does. It matters. Each and every one of you matter and are loved.
My system is going through the same thing. Very new to the subsystem. Never knew before that it was a thing.
Hi! Just wondering how you're doing now? I'm recently going through this & discovered I have a subsystem within my system. Looking for info & hearing about peoples experiences with their subsystems
I feel you on the missing appointments and then avoiding contacting therapists for months because of it... The only time I ever managed to attend regular psych appointments was because I got phonecalls from mine when I didn't show up, like if I was not on time and in my appointment I was called by the provider themself so I at least had to reschedule on the spot, it was hella stressful but worked.
I hope you all can get back into regular appointments, Google calendar has also been a relatively helpful tool for me personally, push notifications and all that but I know they don't help as much for everyone.
Hope Willow does well at the vet and you can settle into that next step of life that you were anticipating soon
Yes! This has happened to me many times over the years. I'll go for a few weeks, then miss one, miss two, miss another one, and then I'm so embarrassed and it gives me so much anxiety I just avoid it all together.
Hmmm, maybe I'll ask my psych if she can do phone calls? Cuz I missed my appointment and now it's been like months probably (idk. Dissociation n awareness of time frames cannot coexist lol)
I probably won't tho hahaHA
@@-homechord-2908 I sort of feel like it should be part of a psych's job to check in when patients don't show up, but I know it isn't.
I was lucky because all of this was free for me through my college I feel like that dictated her behaviour but that woman would see me three times a day around deadlines so not a normal set-up. I have my bunch of other stuff that I need to work through but all my past care was centred around anxiety officially so I don't know if maybe that was a motivating factor for her either, like my sole diagnosis is for an anxiety disorder so she knew the anxious wreck wouldn't make their own appointments no matter what ☺️
that sounds like a lot of complicated stuff to deal with, especially on top of everything happening in the world, and your move. i hope things start to get better soon, and everyone finds good ways to work together to take care of the body. sending strength to everyone in the system.
We call the second kind "sidesystems" or "parallel systems"!
i believe they're also known as layers
Despite being very curious, I honestly just want y’all to future out and go through this at whatever pace you need. Tell us if and when y’all want to, and take care of yourselves!!! Sending love and support your way!!
I hope Devon will be ok, and eveeything shakes out alright with your system & subs. Sending 💜💜💜
You've said a few things about how you were purposely given DID by someone, but that is so seriously messed up. Whoever did that is sick.
How can someone purposefully give someone else DID? Not trying to offend, I'm genuinely interested.
@@doperagu8471I can't really explain, idk. Sorry! I think they've said b4 it has something to do with MK Ultra tho?
@@the_renaissance thanks for your response. I'll have to look into that more.
@@doperagu8471 by intentionally traumatizing
@@hazeld8016 yes, I thought of that. Thank you for your reply! I guess my confusion came from the fact that not EVERY child who suffers trauma at a young age will get DID... Right? So I guess I was wondering how it could be intentional and they could know it would work? If that makes sense?
"I could say strong words but I'm going to be gentle."
Reminds me of a quote I heard from Kristen Bell's therapist that goes: Honesty without tact is cruelty.
How is the kitty doing?
Info in description 👀
Sorry I'm late. I was sleeping. Ik it's only 1 alter, but since the beginning I was aware of a persecuter who never showed. In the last few days he's been doing the persecuter stuff and last night he told us his name! That took a whole month!
Thank you for letting us know that those things have been happening. Thank you also for letting us know that there’s plans in place to make things better with the health, and other things and I personally have been hoping you’d come back and be okay and it’s good to see you as you s are currently even, knowing plans to heal r in place. Much safe&gentle hugs , acceptance and love for fellow persons, and please do keep us updated on the health of your situation etc...we care💜🌻⭐️
We are also finding that the inner world holds a lot more alters than I had previously thought. It’s been a roller coaster trying to understand and navigate the overflow of emotions and memories that come from this. Watching this video and seeing that I am not alone in this situation really helps. I went from 20 known alters to now 37 and they say there is a lot more. What I think sucks the most is the fact that they chose to disclose this information during the freaking pandemic and due to this virus I have lost a therapist. my S/O keeps telling us we will get through it but GOD that’s so hard to see right now. Anyways oof! I’m rambling. I just wanted to say thank you for the video 💕
Do yous have any advice we just woke up today from being like dormant or fugue since mid October and now we find out there’s a WHOLE NEW SYSTEM that’s been split and living the life. And differently. We can’t see them or anything. Completely cut off. Georgie a protector and Raven moved forward into help them all adjust and so Georgie has tried to show us brief ‘clips’ and thoughts of what’s happened. We feel so scared we will all disappear. And we knew we had precious sub systems but now a whole new one all new splits. Wtf??’ We’ve turned to you guys cos your the only ones we can think of who may understand with subsystems. They apparently have their own inner world and see our life so differently. It’s crazy. We are all so sad and shocked. 😔 ~Bobbi/Reegan
We love your videos Acrylic and Aether. At the moment to pass the time some of the main fronters of our system are binge watching your videos (and sometimes painting at the same time.) You have helped us a lot to come to terms with being a system and we are trying to accept that we are valid even though we aren't diagnosed (which is hard for us.) I wish you all well and I hope you're doing okay, if not the #gobsquad will always be here.
Me: did is complex
Dante: my alters have alters
Me: *sips tea. Wow
recently found about some sexual abuse and family issues and have been having ~mental breakdown~ after ~mental breakdown~ and sleeping and just shutting down my intrusive thoughts and anxiousness has been very difficult, but these videos have helped me feel less alone in my experiences. your alters voices are very soothing and your updates have been comforting in the knowledge that like... idk if you can get better than I can??? Idk this is kinda a random comment but I just wanted you to know I'm really *infinitely* appreciative of your content.
Love you all stay safe and take care, don’t forget to stay hydrated :)
hey guys welcome to another episode of 'where the quarantine has led me today'
I just found them and I am already binge watching all of their videos
LOVE YOU GUYS!!!
We found some subsystems too, it's a headachy moment for sure
Hi Aether, thank you for sharing with us.
Hopefully, in a few days, you'll move to the new place with the Acrylic Chasers and I hope it will make things easier for each and everyone of you.
As a goblin, I do worry about both you and the Acrylic Chasers. Take care of yourselves.
Lots of love to y'all.
#gobsquad support 💙
Hi Dante, Hi Tarrence! 🤍
No matter what, I will ALWAYS care and worry about you guys! The Aether System is a very nice system. All of you are very sweet, and I enjoy meeting all of you :) I hope you all eat something. I want you to be healthy, but don't force yourself. Take your time. x
Hey everyone in the system! It's nice to know how you all are doing, despite all of you struggling right now. I admire all of your efforts to keep all your followers up to date on things, but I think you all deserve the time you need to process all these new developments and changes, without feeling obligated to tell anyone about it. Maybe informing us is also a form of accountability for you all to improve things..but either way, please take care of yourselves and the body as best as you all can, and reach out to others when you need it. This year is definitely making this all much harder, but you all have so much strength and power in each of your individual stories. We are all here to support and cheer you on!!❤
And a quick question for you all and/or for any other systems: how do you all feel about therapy, and how does it work as there's a multitude of alters/"clients" that are being treated? I'm an autistic singlet and I'm very interested to know how a system experiences and views therapy as a whole.
Lots of love for you guys. You guys are the reason that I have started to realize I have a lot of the signs of d i d and have recently discovered my system. I am intending to get into therapy and get medically diagnosed but that wasn't an option until recently so I was trying to learn about d i d and have found through that and lots of searching of myself my system. So my system will be here for support for you guys even though I'm just a random internet stranger. Gob squad is always going to worry and always will protect you
"I'm smiling on the outside but screaming on the inside"
that is me everyday
Also are you wearing a red bandana?..... because if so you are matching my dog.... and that is unintental but absolutly adorable
Okay, so.... Subsystems.... breaking down amnesia barriers... Any tips?
the brain power it must take to keep all of this straight. be interesting to study what it truly does to a person's psyche.
weve found ourselves in a similar situation this year, the curveball thats been thrown our way has kinda put a spin on the way our system has to be run. im glad yallre gonna be getting the support you need and are working towards a more stable position. its a rough time but youll be ok B) -dave
2020 has been one heck of a curveball, for sure. We discovered our system back in March and about three months in, our main host for the past ten years, Devon, freaked out and peaced out to the back of the headspace. I (Dev) didn't intend to become the host, especially since we JUST figured out what was going on with us, but here I am doing the best I can. We are body age 36 and it's not easy to be the one examining our past and discovering too many things. We have an immunocompromised teenage son, so we've been in total isolation as a family for 210+ days now. The isolation is wrecking havoc on our system. But I keep going to therapy, I keep trying to be as honest as I can with the few friends who know, and yeah. We're just rolling with the punches as they come. You are not alone in this year being one of the most difficult years ever!
Sending good vibes to you. Hope things get easier
@@SuperKiRsTyN thank you! I remind myself we are so lucky to have a good treatment team and a few amazing friends in our support system. We will make it through. Just some days are harder than others. It helps to see other systems being open about how rough this year has been on everyone. Not because I want people to suffer with me but because it reminds me that we are not alone in this.
Hope your journey of healing continues.many positive vibes coming both systems way.keep up the good work.we all support your system.you are cared for and valid.its ok not too smile.take all the time you need.we are here for you all.
P.S. Totally love the word 'Legit' instead of valid! 🤜🤛👍💞
Singlet here, the no therapy thing happened to me too I call it being in a destructive mode. It's bad but I have it set for October 1st so that's pretty soon yay! I hope you guys get well soon and feel yourselves again. Love u all
so I'm finally watching this now. a few comments!
1) I actually adore ya'll? like idk I hadn't really buckled in to watch much of your stuff yet but like, hecc dood you have a really great voice for talking on camera, a really nice smile (#ngl i am jealous), and a very clear way of explaining yourself! Not only is your content understandable as a layperson/"baby" system (i guess we're more like a toddler sys now tbh), it's very relatable in those explanations!
2) on relatable things, holy hell do we relate to [groups of] parts stepping in. In fact, [one of] our current Hosts keeps getting in trouble with a Gatekeeper/protector for being varying levels of a control freak in denial. We love each other but sometimes one of has to knock another down a peg for all of our sake.
3) Being Host and finding increasing evidence of a huge system (which ofc implies worse trauma) is scary, being an v traumatized adult is scary, so denial and unawareness from said Hosts is to be expected. In our situation, our Host keeps running headlong into dissociative barriers (wants to know the truth, wants to communicate with the sys!) and then when stuff happens (unknown alters come forward/symptoms change) they get freaked out and start trying to reduce the cause of any situation to a single alter or just insta-forgetting anything related a new face. lol.
4) *you're a SPACE CAPTAIN*
replying to my own comment because i don't wanna write a single-page novel
5) I thiiiiiink that being frontstuck is a normal [as in common] system response to new trauma/stress, esp if you haven't already been through enough treatment to take down significant communication barriers/reduce amnesia between parts, etc.
6) we seem to have a lot of "alters hiding alters"-type subsystems, which simply exist that way to make things easier on the Host like you were saying before.
Question does your system have a gate keeper because we have two gate keepers I’m one of them and both of us because of how large our system is have issues categorizing and figuring out how many alters there are it’s just kind of a blob of all energies so is it like that with your system and the sub systems aren’t always classified as multiple alters and a lot of stuff is very complicated
Ugh. Im currently going through this. I thought for about 12hrs that I was "one" & then I slipped into an alter & realized that was not the case at all. I have recently discovered I have a subsystem within myself. I have thought that I've been out all the time but realized I have another alter who co-hosts/is co-conscious with me who very closely resembles me. She was sneaky. And now Im feeling so overwhelmed because of this subsystem within me that I am having trouble connecting with (because like you say they are isolated) but I can occasionally hear them making comments or sharing their "realities" with me which has been very disorienting on occasion.
the preview image on this video..... all I could think was "Crouching Subsystems, Hidden Alters" ... like a parody of Crouch Tiger, Hidden Dragon.... so which of you is played by Jet Li? 😂
also don't come at me if Jet Li's not in that movie idfk who's in that movie i haven't seen it in 15 years if ever dhgsdfhgjsd
If you set alarms on your phones, you won't miss appointments. I missed an important one last month, and the physical pain is reminding me how to NOT do that again. 😔🙄🤦🏼♀️👍🏻
Were nearly 40 and only just learning the truth of what caused the d.i.d - 5 years after becoming self aware at 33😢🙏
Hi my name is Anya and I'm small and I think I have did and I'm 1 of the not real ones. I'm have a doctor appointment in a few weeks and I'm a bit scared if it is did becos everybody on youtube is angry at each other right now. Is that something that always happens? If you're hurting do you always just have to get hurt and hurt other people? UA-cam is the only place I know how to talk to other people with did. Thanks for listening.
Tarrence... You ARE a gentlemen!!! I love the way you speak. Such a cute person you are :) (Just wanted to comment on that)
I'm early, also big fuckin mood we have like thousands but haven't made complete records yet cause fuck
i don’t care if you all don’t want me to worry. i’m going to worry about all of you no matter what happens 😤
When we are in a stressful situation. We’ll get a new alter. As long as we are in that situation the alter fronts. Since it’ll be the alter that fronts the most and will take the lead. It becomes our host. However the host is disconnected from the innerworld. Once the stressful period is over. The host will back down and find a place to settle in the innerworld. Then the old hosts come back to host. And we’ll be a healthy system again. (Sometimes after the “short/panic host” backed out. They’ll come back to become the permanent host)
Sending all the love and support 💕 2020 really is the worst. I'm happy you're healing again, also does this mean your system is like, twice as huge as the planet already thought it was? :o wish you all the luck 💕✨
Glad to see your system continuing your healing journey.keep up the great work.you all have come along way in growing.😀💝
Hugs
I feel like there will always be times like that bravest warriors episode where they let catbug lead a mission to save a planet from wankershim.
At least y'all didn't end up wankershim'd.
I find predictions are based on what we recognize from our past, and in adulthood it's actually the paths i never foresaw which redirect me in such a way that is genuinely better and it's probably because i couldn't have imagined anything so optimistic.
Good luck
This question is out of pure curiosity and I'm sorry if this is offending. Does everyone of the alter remembers the rest's name? Is it like a different world or small planet in the inner system? How is messages passed across if there are that many alters? Is 'front' decided or is it given? Sorry if the questions are intrusive.
I hope you're all doing okay, and can get better soon, but please take care of yourselves and take your time!! Sending love:)
I'm loving the new format of being more true? Real? It's won me over as a dedicated watcher from previously an occasional watcher,, anyway just wanted to let u know how much I appreciate it. I know that it must be hard putting yourself out there like that, best wishes
:-o We literally just went through this!! We realized we have "realms". Apparently some of the alters from the other realms were fronting before our walls broke. They even have their own gates to the front. I don't have a clue how that would even work. Also, some of the alters knew about the other realms, including us. So we found out we have a couple hundred more alters than we thought we did. Then, when our walls broke (when we learned about our DID and were able to communicate with one another while we're fronting), the other realms kind of went semi-dormant and stopped fronting. Then the veil broke between us and another realm, our inner world disappeared and we started living in their realm. So I guess we... integrated??? My mind is f'n blown honestly. The "new alters" know about 4 other realms. They know so much that we didn't and we're like... wow... we were the main "fronting realm" but we were totally Jon Snow on everything. LOL
And as for the therapist thing... LOL Yes! That's why our therapist ghosted us. We missed 2 appointments because we forgot what day it was.
Welcome Terrance
Sometimes I forget people in the US talk about pounds and I was like "150 kg?! How?"
150 kg 😂😂😂 omg that’s way more than 115 lbs 😂
@69Kokoro
That was my exact same problem. Done a lot of research on these things the past hour. 😂
@@AcrylicAndAether Oh my gosh i even unheard the amount xD
hello it was nice to meet both Terrance and Dante i look forward to learning more know that the body matters. Each and every one of you matter and are loved and you are valid
All the best to you. You are also worth thought and love and care and everything - all of you.
I’ve never even heard of subsystems. There’s always more to learn about DID!
Huge support from me guys massive love 😊😊😊
Hugs 💜💜💜🌈
So good to hear from you all again I’m sending good energy and hugs
Wishing you guys the best hope your cat is doing well
I get being emotionally moved by music and crying because of it. I hope you feel a bit better. How is your partner system doing? I hope well.
Good luck with everything going on.
I'm glad everybody inner world is supporting everything. You seem to have a plan and I'll be hopeful that you guys get to the place you want to be.
Sending you all so much love 💘💞💕💓💖💝💗 i hope things will soon start to be better yall are absolutely amazing dont worry about the content health goes first! 🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤
"I'm smiling on the inside but I'm SCREAMING on the inside"
me everydayyyy
Aaah, Bless u guys. We're going through the 'growth'/'real' discovery period too - although not on your size/level! Doesn't EVERYTHING seem to happen at once and just go wild?! 🤣😩 Sending ALL of you and ALL @AcrylicChasers love and support in these trying times! Take care guys. 👍🤗💞😊
Holy sh1t I'm only 5 minuets in to this video so far but WOAH ,.... the similarities in a couple of your inner world sub system stuff.... 0_o Thank you for sharing, we have not been able to keep up with the community as of late due to personal things so this has helped a lot with the feelings of isolation and not having anyone understand experiences. Its nice not to feel so alone atleast in a couple of aspects ^.^ - Kix
I can't help but worry. Please take care of yourselves.
You have helped me in so many ways. My daughter was diagnosed with DID almost 2 years ago and I have found your channel and a few others to be incredibly helpful as I struggle to understand her and her system.
I will be thinking of you.
{{{{{hugs}}}}
Hey, I’m not sure if you will respond or not but not too long ago my cousin told me they had did and so I’ve been looking into it lots to try and support them as a system while keeping away from the boundaries and started noticing slight similarities but I’m not sure if it me being paranoid or not. When I was a child I was in and out of hospital a lot and had various trauma from many other things at a young age and when I was 15 I decided to take some lsd by myself and I met someone in my head who seemed to be very similar to what people describe their protectors to be but after that all of my memories in certain areas seemed to be far more distant and I started experiencing lots of times not knowing why I am somewhere, what I am doing and occasionally black outs where I can’t remember what I was doing at all for a small period of time but I have been blaming that on paranoia and my adhd and disassociation (where my vision seems to go all the way back in my head and everything feeling very distant for 10 seconds to a few hours). Now that I know more about this disorder I’m beginning to second guess whether my lsd experience was just paranoia or if the trauma from the bad trip caused my protector to surface and since then having alters co-front without me properly realising it. Do you think this is likely to be did or another personality disorder or me just simply over thinking it? )btw I’m 17 now so it’s been 2 and a half years since my encounter with my second self and that I’ve been having disassociations (feeling distant and my vision looking like I’m staring from far back in my head), black outs and memory loss etc )
Thanks :)
Also I really appreciate you guys sharing your experiences! :))
Sup Terrance! I'm excited to hear more from you in the future, you seem cool
To everyone: I'm so glad there's a plan for things to get better. I hope everything goes at least mildly as planned and I wish good things for y'all, take care
Thanks, Terrance and Dante, for the update! Y'all did a good job explaining things
we've had that experience - phase one and into adulthood - then ready to see it for how and what it really is in all its glory - ugh - fun - not. We have also changed hosts - about 3x in the last 4 years and in our entire life I think a total of 5 or 6 times we have changed hosts. We also schedule therapy consistently - but you know - still dont attend consistently and run and hide - definetly a did / osdd thing
I wonder what would happen if two subsystem integrated. How would the inter world look? How many people would integrate if at all?
“That moment when your system turns out to be a lot huger than you thought it was” that’s the biggest mood ever.
We thought our system was in the like 40’s? Then someone asked our automaton how big the system was and she said a number a whole lot bigger than that (won’t say the number cuz we don’t like saying it online where just anyone can see)
Aww thank all of you for sharing really, it’s so lovely and I can’t help but worry about everyone but I’m here for you lots of love and hugs
Holy you have to imagine that. Like I think a singlet-mind is already so damn big in terms of emotion and thoughts and stuff. And then like this, Holy shit
I really hope you all doing well, stay save
Sending love! ❤️
love the new intro!
Thank you all for being so open and sharing 🙏🏾💜 Sending you all healing love!
I’ve never even heard of subsystems. There’s always more to learn about DID!
you are so precious, all of you. thank you for sharing these videos with us i am so glad i found you guys :)
I'm really glad you are all on a better road to control and health and working together to get everyone where they would like to be at, in system and out.
We have the same glasses 😂 it’s really interesting to hear about your inner world and systems and subsystems I hope you start doing better
you are all amazing and very strong
I'm curious if anyone can help me with a question. Is what's happening normal for systems? To kinda have turama/alters introduced at an later age? Like do other systems usually have tur*ma they later find out to handle easier? Or is this a more rare case?
Sorry, still new to a lot of tur*ma based stuff in DID/OSDD
Its fairly typical, though not always to this degree. The overall purpose of DID is to hide and mask trauma so one can continue living a semi normal life. If everybody in the system knew of every alter and every memory, then DID wouldn't function as its intended. You can find a fair amount of systems talking about finding other (often trauma holding) alters that were previously unknown to the rest of the system.
This is essentially the usual experience of being a host. Very rarely does the host of a system know they're part of a system until it's revealed to them in some way. Because once you find out that there's more, you either go into denial or start digging for why, and that digging can cause problems in functionality.
Sending love and good vibes. Wishing there was more i could do.
The mind is such a wonderful and scary thing
As a human from California I will keeping an air on my eye quality.
I'm so glad you all are doing better. It's good to see you again.
:)
Was morphed a kinda of "gatekeeper"?
Sounds like rescue on hyperdrive
Can you talk more about the plan?
Wish you guys all the strength needed to get in the best possible state of things!
Random question of a confused European :
If height is measured in foot instead of cm, what is used instead of kg?
Pounds I believe
Yep, pounds.
@@benbaker2965 but you don't use stone with it, is that right?
randomness051 yea we just have pounds for body weight
@@randomness051 Right. We use pounds, no stone. We use pounds and ounces for baby's weight.
How dose a alter have their own DID
It can happen a few ways, complex trauma, later-in-life trauma, the alter being stuck fronting and going through something bad, super high levels of stress, adverse reactions to unearthing trauma, etc
Ok thanks
Thankyou for sharing
Dante, what was the body's birth name? if that's OK to ask
Why do you want to know? 😂😆
-Dante