They won't teach you this one in tactics school...

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  • Опубліковано 26 кві 2023
  • The Phallus of Doom is a well respected and effective tactic used by all great men. In Total War: Warhammer 3, it's a very powerful tactic for instantly bypassing the enemy frontline.
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КОМЕНТАРІ • 382

  • @doctorinductor9826
    @doctorinductor9826 Рік тому +1029

    "Dont be charging into any ol' hole". That's quality advice that will last you a lifetime

    • @MaxGideonActor
      @MaxGideonActor Рік тому +11

      If only I'd known that before I decided to have my twelfth birthday party during Marco Polo day at my Catholic overnight pool party prayer retreat... ...
      More good advice: Always watch your flank...
      😮🕍😶‍🌫️😳➡️🚫⬅️
      Go with Allah. 🐧

    • @AlexLee-je5jg
      @AlexLee-je5jg Рік тому +9

      Not just charging, dis-charging works too

    • @MaxGideonActor
      @MaxGideonActor Рік тому +1

      @@AlexLee-je5jg 😆

    • @AlexanderTheGoodEnough
      @AlexanderTheGoodEnough Рік тому

      how dare you sir, as a consummate Cocksman I wield my "phallus of doom" any which way I want!

    • @INSANESUICIDE
      @INSANESUICIDE Рік тому +6

      As a happily married father of three and a veteran to boot, I wholeheartedly and emphatically agree, this one is in the top 3 tips.

  • @maxxam4665
    @maxxam4665 Рік тому +558

    "To make good use of your phallus you need a hole."
    Yes, go on.

  • @lordberossus2545
    @lordberossus2545 Рік тому +186

    *"And as your wife likes to remind you"*
    I was just minding my own business eating my sandwich and my mans over here choosing VIOLENCE

    • @Rise65487
      @Rise65487 Рік тому +3

      if it give you any consolations, realistically it isn't about the size, it's about the taste

    • @HellecticMojo
      @HellecticMojo Рік тому +3

      ​@@Rise65487 that's somehow even more gross

    • @lordberossus2545
      @lordberossus2545 Рік тому +12

      @@Rise65487 of the sandwich right?

  • @samuelgodwin2880
    @samuelgodwin2880 Рік тому +265

    Slaaneshi enemy lines after you penetrate them with your phallus of doom: “harder!”

  • @casbot71
    @casbot71 Рік тому +209

    Remember to be careful if you manage to get your phallus in the rear.

  • @SusaVile
    @SusaVile Рік тому +326

    I always wondered if any ancient tacticians ever realized that this tactic would ever be called... this.

    • @alpharius2omegaboogaloo384
      @alpharius2omegaboogaloo384 Рік тому +73

      Well, considering that drawing on the Roman Coliseum… I’d say they probably knew…

    • @kornelskitek7681
      @kornelskitek7681 Рік тому +39

      In fact I would be shocked if they did not call it themselves that…

    • @SusaVile
      @SusaVile Рік тому +69

      @@kornelskitek7681 probably named Biggus Diccus

    • @crafterofdoom
      @crafterofdoom Рік тому +11

      @@SusaVile i was thinking "the Snake" or Draco

    • @musclegeek1991
      @musclegeek1991 Рік тому +5

      Lmao I seriously doubt this is a tactic that would ever have worked in real life.

  • @SinerAthin
    @SinerAthin Рік тому +407

    Zerkovich: *Makes a video about the Phallus of Doom*
    also Zerkovich: *Doesn't include a single Slaanesh faction in the video*
    What sort of heresy is this?!

    • @Maurinusa
      @Maurinusa Рік тому +16

      Talk about missed opportunities

    • @cybermbebe
      @cybermbebe Рік тому +11

      That would be too obvious :D

    • @spamhonx56
      @spamhonx56 Рік тому +24

      It's called edging, and trust me, slaanesh is on board.

    • @BringDHouseDown
      @BringDHouseDown Рік тому

      The good kind, we are men of the Imperium, chaos scum!

  • @magnithorsson2154
    @magnithorsson2154 Рік тому +50

    The penetrating power of the Phallus cannot be overstated

  • @x-munk
    @x-munk Рік тому +35

    It's really important not to leave your phallus exposed to anti-large bonuses when executing. If you're uncertain about safety abstaining from penetration might be the wisest approach. Barriers can definitely help but they're not guaranteed, they can fail.

  • @skeith1543
    @skeith1543 Рік тому +46

    the Best part of the Phallus of Doom is when you slip in a fire wizard and have an explosive finish all over the enemies conquered holes.

    • @LL-Tom
      @LL-Tom Рік тому +22

      If your Phallus of Doom is on fire after penetrating the enemy's holes, you may need to get checked by a Life Wizard...

  • @Dontaexy
    @Dontaexy Рік тому +54

    "so to pull this tactic off.. Jesus Christ" 😂

    • @jessegreco8855
      @jessegreco8855 Рік тому +2

      Yep. That got me.

    • @dhabu9017
      @dhabu9017 Рік тому +2

      @@jessegreco8855 Agreed, lost it right there; well played Zerk, well played :D

  • @theodoreburt7638
    @theodoreburt7638 Рік тому +9

    This classic spartan technique was also dicussed in the historically based film Meet the Spartans. Such formations are great for penetrating enemy lines in any battle!

  • @_Meriwether
    @_Meriwether Рік тому +20

    *_Phallus Of Doom 2: Meatstick Boogaloo_*

  • @argentofox2567
    @argentofox2567 Рік тому +17

    I have been at work since 6am (its 8:30pm now) and I just sat down to take a break before closing and watching this is the best thing I have seen all day. I am laughing so hard I have had a few staff come into my office to ask if I am ok..... Love it and thank so much for the video and the comedic take on the video its magical!!!

  • @Cerulius
    @Cerulius Рік тому +19

    Bro, when you said " Jesus Christ " i started to laugh uncontrollably. Your bloopers are among the funnest when it happens, like in the khorne overwiew video.

  • @Autechltd
    @Autechltd Рік тому +9

    It's good to consider what reserves your opponents have before committing.
    As always, watch out for traps.

  • @curtisthornsberry4236
    @curtisthornsberry4236 Рік тому +5

    And the troll immediately start to waiver upon contact with an enemy XD

  • @NTJ666
    @NTJ666 Рік тому +5

    Bloody hell I've been using that formation for god knows how long and never thought to go through the gaps in the middle 😂 Nice one of mighty beard 🙏

  • @Darkreaper1982
    @Darkreaper1982 Рік тому +3

    @1:54 "You've always got the Phallus of Doom to fall back on" 🤣

  • @skavid4811
    @skavid4811 Рік тому +5

    Best Warhammer content (both in tactics and humor) I’ve seen this year from any channel. Bravo 😂

  • @breakupgoogle4584
    @breakupgoogle4584 Рік тому +19

    I think one of the biggest things that maker settlement battles a pain is that the footprints of the buildings extend farther than it looks like they should. Just look at that building at @7:40. The buildings all have an invisible base that you cant drag out over or move over. So you have extremely limited corridors to draw out unit shapes on and since you cant see the "legal" or permitted areas you have to keep trying until you get something that isn't very useful.

    • @Sandman-cr6zn
      @Sandman-cr6zn Рік тому +1

      This also causes your units to position themselves in weird directions exposing the sides for attack. Or you just cannot form a long enough line to not be surrounded. I like the idea of minor settlements, but the execution is shit.

    • @breakupgoogle4584
      @breakupgoogle4584 Рік тому

      @@Sandman-cr6zn If we could hit the spacebar and see the lines of those building bases that would be a great first start.

    • @shadowblade5656
      @shadowblade5656 Рік тому +1

      Sadly it's not even just buildings, cuz it'll happen with irregular terrain like cliffs and rocks and whatnot on field battle maps too, or near the edges of the maps. There's just a whole lot of wonky obstacle detailing everywhere across the whole game, just that the sieges and settlements make it overwhelmingly more obvious.

    • @nathanstice8456
      @nathanstice8456 12 днів тому

      @@shadowblade5656use all of that to your advantage. That’s what Napoleon would do.

  • @marvinellis7221
    @marvinellis7221 Рік тому +6

    I didn't even watch yet. Liked because the genius title and graphic.

  • @SusaVile
    @SusaVile Рік тому +3

    so 50 seconds in and already 5 jokes concerning phalus', this is gonna be good ;)

  • @AsiniusNaso
    @AsiniusNaso Рік тому +5

    The AI loves doing this lmao. I see a three-dog wide chaos warhound conga line sneak through all the time.

  • @Gokudo01
    @Gokudo01 Рік тому +2

    0:41 dude is dropping truth bomb in combo

  • @knightsolaire6342
    @knightsolaire6342 Рік тому +7

    I'll now use this strategy every time I play a Slaaneshi faction.

  • @TCStink3
    @TCStink3 Рік тому +1

    Phallus of Doom and Hoemasters are my favourite running jokes on this channel.

  • @dcchillin4687
    @dcchillin4687 Рік тому +2

    Honestly, I've probably watched 100 of your videos, but this is probably my favorite

  • @iKennectz
    @iKennectz Рік тому +1

    Been using the phallus of doom since the Chorfs came out but it’s a defensive Phallus. a couple melee units slightly further forward by 2 units or so than ranged, and the melee units stretched twice as wide, the ai can’t aim a charge at your gunners and if anything is alive after they’ve blown their load, the Phallus comes in to sweep up the leftovers and the multiple blunderbuss/fireglaive units that can all fire on a single unit at once melt any unit, hero or lord.
    If anything gets close to the front line is when suddenly the head of the phallus breaks through my front line to sweep up the leftovers

  • @alexmikedis9609
    @alexmikedis9609 10 місяців тому

    watched this whole playlist and def learned a bit on strategy, much appreciated can maybe up the difficulty now

  • @gdrad
    @gdrad Рік тому +4

    I use narrow formations on stuff like zombies sometimes. Lower surface area to slow how fast the enemy chews through them. Also in siege battles, narrow lines can work better for making clogs while forcing their formation to reveal more of their flanks.
    Special mention to Vcoast gunlines. Where chevrons tend to die a bit too quick.

    • @shorewall
      @shorewall Рік тому

      Yeah, I always use squares of infantry, and then line up ranged to shoot into the sides of the enemy bunching up on them. Same reason, I just want the infantry to hold, and a narrow formation leaves less of my infantry in combat.

  • @kreuzrittergottes9336
    @kreuzrittergottes9336 Рік тому

    excellent vid, will have to implement. also, great advice on what to do with holes.

  • @boomtaylor8297
    @boomtaylor8297 Рік тому

    Great video really good to see how being mobile such as exploiting gaps and adaptable such as flanking works

  • @ericjensen7580
    @ericjensen7580 Рік тому +1

    Great formation. One thing I've done is wider gaps between infantry which serve as lanes for chariots to move through while the front lines engage. Ends up mucking up the spears and giving the chariots alot of space to move

  • @gusess5743
    @gusess5743 Рік тому +1

    Finally the forbidden strategum of Biggus Dickus Taticus

  • @Phoenix-sc6di
    @Phoenix-sc6di Рік тому +2

    Great with Shotgun Style Missile Infantry as well, since you likely left gaps for them to shoot through anyhow. Once an opening is provided, you can move in and shoot the flanks/back unimpeded.

  • @JoseCastro-fn9xs
    @JoseCastro-fn9xs Рік тому +5

    Great , now one of the strategies I have been using since ROmE 1 is going to go viral 😂

  • @ArzOnaute
    @ArzOnaute Рік тому

    very excited to try this new position on the field

  • @robertcbarry
    @robertcbarry Рік тому +2

    I was today years old having played it since release when I found out TWW3 had a battleplan drawer

  • @devilsmessanger
    @devilsmessanger Рік тому +2

    love your puns, make 'em rain !

  • @charleslister8465
    @charleslister8465 Рік тому +2

    Good fun and useful - a great combination :)

  • @battlemode
    @battlemode Рік тому

    Great stuff, cheers Zerk

  • @paulcallaghan2876
    @paulcallaghan2876 3 місяці тому

    Mate I love your videos. Thank you. It makes my TW experience so much better by being able to actually know wtf I'm doing
    PS those tactics videos are amazing. Like the Empire doing only Napoleon tactics. It really makes me appreciate the diversity of this game
    Thank you

  • @VentiVonOsterreich
    @VentiVonOsterreich Рік тому +1

    Frederick the Great of Prussia pulled this off at the Battle of Hohenfriedberg when his dragoons charged through the center and routed a few Austrian battalions

  • @ragnarian
    @ragnarian Рік тому +49

    I think the phallus of doom could be very useful in multiplayer as long as you don't make the phallus in deployment
    Most of the time players only watch the flanks for cav, seeing the centre lines as a bit too thick or narrow or dangerous to try and get through
    Usually spears and halberds are placed on the flank because that's how everyone uses cavalry

    • @widdershins5383
      @widdershins5383 Рік тому

      Especially when you use explosion spells to MAKE a hole lol

  • @ValiduzZ
    @ValiduzZ Рік тому

    This makes me want to see a full innuendo (IN-YOUR-END-OH) series of tactical breakdowns.

  • @jorath9644
    @jorath9644 Рік тому

    i like to use narrow formations for a defensive open spots - for example for cannon holes/ most gunpowder ranged units or beast/fire mages at both edges of the hole i place them narrowly to not have them get overrun to fast while still provoking their infantry to attack them and fill the hole

  • @kelleren4840
    @kelleren4840 Рік тому +2

    THE DOOM-PHALLUS RETURNS!!!!

  • @Th3Chuzzl3r
    @Th3Chuzzl3r Рік тому

    The tactic videos are by far my fav

  • @gvaedyn
    @gvaedyn Рік тому

    I've been watching a ton of your videos, and I must really suck at this game because all my units get stuck on the enemy so I can't do anything. I rarely use Calvary for this reason, and it really saps the enjoyment of the game for me.
    Very enjoyable to watch. Keep 'em coming.

  • @bobdylan588
    @bobdylan588 Рік тому +1

    big fan. waiting for more mulit player matches. i love you coms.!

  • @axelsouth655
    @axelsouth655 Рік тому

    Can't wait to try my new phallus tactics

  • @TheRealKiRBEY
    @TheRealKiRBEY Рік тому +1

    Very mature Zerkovich

  • @flaviosamaniego5882
    @flaviosamaniego5882 Рік тому

    Alexander would be proud for the tactic and the naming!

  • @Rhapsodyas
    @Rhapsodyas Рік тому +1

    This is a classic M2TW manouver

  • @RGRG-vc6ii
    @RGRG-vc6ii Рік тому +8

    Zerko could you elaborate a proper dissertation on the proper use of direct fire ranged units? Blunderbusses, thunderers, handgunners, etc. Many thanks :D

    • @ArcticWolfGod
      @ArcticWolfGod Рік тому +1

      Yes please. I suck at using them so much.

    • @charlymaxx4318
      @charlymaxx4318 Рік тому

      Sometimes the Units suck, they got free Line of sight, but won't fire effektive:/

    • @chriswhinery925
      @chriswhinery925 Рік тому

      Just like he says in this video, just have them penetrate the hole of your choice, then blast their load of bullets all over their targets' rear.

  • @GeekControl2MajorTim
    @GeekControl2MajorTim Рік тому +1

    Love it. I use a similar tactic in sieges. Rarely do street blocking units stay wide enough to stop you from marching a unit in narrow file through a gap. With buildings in the picture, your units will often hug the terrain, going practically single file. Edit: should have waited till the end of the video 😅

  • @hinkens5552
    @hinkens5552 Рік тому +2

    This will be a wonderfull video!

  • @blacksheepwall79
    @blacksheepwall79 Рік тому

    This works well with ranged units as well... If you move some Thunderers through in that formation they can punish the flanks. If you put flanking ranged units on the side stacked up longways like that you march them ahead and when you reposition them to attack you change to the wider formation and they have to move less to be in position to attack.
    Another thing I do is keep ranged units in as square a formation as I can to minimize the downtime if they have to turn to face a target. Longer Or Wider formations take longer to reform.
    Also spears it anti cav units that are there to babysit infantry. If you advance them in a skinny formation like this on the flanks, save time reforming to defend the sides

  • @sionbarzad5371
    @sionbarzad5371 Рік тому +3

    I am a simple man. I see phallus of doom i click.

  • @omranalshamsi8278
    @omranalshamsi8278 Рік тому

    I love this tactic. Must try is today

  • @ezrabraman6437
    @ezrabraman6437 Рік тому

    Duke: “where’d you study tactics boy?”
    Me:

  • @matiasmosquella1830
    @matiasmosquella1830 Рік тому

    So I'd like to add some info. Try this with Dwarf armies using flamethrower infantry. And you can also leave gaps that are angled rather than having one long line. By walking the framers through the gap they can attack along the length rather than the width causing more damage and kills and if you don't want to lose those framers then change the angle of a single unit to hold off enemy main line and use your framers who are still safely behind your line to again fire along the length of the unit.
    This is how I play dwarfs more often than not since it simple destroys. Leads to each flamer unit having 3 to 5 hundred kills at least

  • @kaikongchan5513
    @kaikongchan5513 Рік тому

    Lure their cavalry units away to charge into the gap into the soft target units.
    Excellent work.

  • @Neo_Was_Taken
    @Neo_Was_Taken Рік тому

    epic video. lots of laughter, thanks ^^

  • @johndane9754
    @johndane9754 Рік тому +3

    Here's Zerk, teaching lessons that have been forgotten.

  • @memedaddy6932
    @memedaddy6932 Рік тому

    The same style of gaps are used to make gunpowder units work.
    As long as there's an opening you can unload into anything you want.
    Another trick with gunpowder is putting one unit of your frontline slightly ahead from the rest and placing your guns sideways behind it, so they have perfect vision of anything that clashes with the rest of your frontline.

  • @Gabberag
    @Gabberag Рік тому +1

    awesome tactic

  • @jojomafia367
    @jojomafia367 Рік тому

    Also, if you're not a fan of charging your phallus straight into the hole, you can use the same infantry tactic to create holes for your gunpowder/ranged units to shoot in from a distance

  • @BamaLam4
    @BamaLam4 Рік тому

    thats actually cool ty

  • @musclegeek1991
    @musclegeek1991 Рік тому +2

    I love a good micro phallus

  • @slaaneshgod
    @slaaneshgod Рік тому

    in tabletop bretonnian knights had a special lance formation in a wedge shape.

  • @ephemispriest8069
    @ephemispriest8069 Рік тому

    I like how you didn't just stick with the default, but included doggy as well.

  • @hotdog9262
    @hotdog9262 Рік тому

    2:13 as long as you charge another unit then the one some models are in contact with, the charge will start if the distance is over minimum

  • @colossusslayer1234
    @colossusslayer1234 Рік тому

    "To fall back on- nooooo" The regret in this man's voice immediately lmao

  • @nicholaspowless4751
    @nicholaspowless4751 Рік тому +2

    Every time I watch a total war Warhammer from you I end up playing a new campaign 😅

  • @WarPigstheHun
    @WarPigstheHun 11 місяців тому

    "A wedge is just a pointier phallus of doom" - Zerko

  • @arailway8809
    @arailway8809 Рік тому

    I saw a video of a Korean police unit use something similar.
    Attack crowd, pull back, identify the leaders,
    designated force crashed through, collected them.

  • @lattekahvi1298
    @lattekahvi1298 Рік тому

    Great stag knights would be great for this, small unit count combined with fast movement and good damage is devastating for either hammer and anvil or smashing down their ranged units

  • @alexandreky6441
    @alexandreky6441 Рік тому

    Hi, very interisting content as always, I was wondering how you test the units. I mean, it almost looks like you control the units of the AI when you test for example the best infantry

  • @Philtopy
    @Philtopy Рік тому

    I used this strategy in every ToW game since the first Rome:TW. I always called it "Stabbing dagger"-Formation because like a knights dagger it finds a crack in the armor of the opponents armor and deals the killing blow. Now you have destroyed my perfect image of this strategy and I will never not think of it as the "Phallus of Doom" manouver ... damn you comedyyyyy!!!!

  • @maryrose2676
    @maryrose2676 Рік тому

    4:54 That's one juicy Comet of Cassandra there.

  • @CrucibleBlack13
    @CrucibleBlack13 Рік тому

    Looks like we found the guy who mows the Royal Lawn for King Charles.

  • @kaikongchan5513
    @kaikongchan5513 Рік тому

    That is a good one when you sneak into a castle right pass the infantry unit.
    Very good tactics 👏 👌 👍.

  • @GetAssista
    @GetAssista Рік тому

    What are you doing, steppe-brother?!

  • @TLTeo
    @TLTeo Рік тому +1

    2:09 - missed opportunity to say "straight through the hole" honestly

  • @samroberts8027
    @samroberts8027 Рік тому +1

    the thumbnail dragged me in im not gonna lie

  • @R3GARnator
    @R3GARnator Рік тому

    I have used this a lot as Vampire Counts: Zombies/Skellies up front, wait for gaps, then put more powerful infantry and monsters through the gaps.

  • @tragell4234
    @tragell4234 Рік тому +1

    It’s like I was getting strategy for something else, something personal

  • @BlackSabbath628
    @BlackSabbath628 Рік тому +2

    This formation is perfect for penetrating the front and rear lines of the enemy.
    Just remember to buff your troops with defensive spells for added protection.

  • @mjohns6636
    @mjohns6636 Рік тому +1

    I like it!

  • @C.J.Kristel
    @C.J.Kristel Рік тому

    Every other line of dialog in this is a double entendre. Genius.
    Lord Kroak's splooge-nuke is never going to look the same...

  • @Nightreaper86
    @Nightreaper86 Рік тому

    i use narrow formations to squeeze threw gaps in the lines so i can flank ALL the time

  • @BassRacerx
    @BassRacerx Рік тому

    Genius!

  • @vilidious
    @vilidious Рік тому

    with Bretonnia, you can use the lance formation to form the tip of the phallus too
    ...for ze lady

  • @particularindividual4552
    @particularindividual4552 Рік тому

    Big Richard plays with some inadvertantly good life advice 4:10

  • @carltheoneeye9353
    @carltheoneeye9353 Рік тому +1

    I use this without the puns. I use the chariots clear and run cav in right behind them. Get to start a hammer and anvil from the center. My favorite way to rush the dwarves

  • @thegonk1345
    @thegonk1345 Рік тому +1

    Gotta love the thumbnail

  • @mr.teufel9201
    @mr.teufel9201 Рік тому +10

    This can be very useful in multiplayer as well because -unlike AI- there will be initial gaps in the frontline by default so you can sneak trough some infantry and your enemy have to decide if they go against that with their cav and leave their flanks empty or let them run trough backline. This only works if you have more units tho obviously

    • @tacticaltactability
      @tacticaltactability Рік тому

      A good player will keep a tight formation without gaps. It's the first rule of medieval battlefields. Maintaining a shieldwall and protecting your flank. Flying units and magic kinda messes with basic tactics though.

    • @viktorkovacs5873
      @viktorkovacs5873 Рік тому

      @@tacticaltactability yes but as you said some things messes up this in this game.
      If you make a tight shield wall your frontline will be much shorter so you will be encircled and flanked. Not to mention the wind spells which can hit all of your units there.
      With proper spacing you will have a wider front line (not with huge gaps to let units slipping trough tho) so you can hold off a larger host. Check out some MP tournament and see how they place their units

  • @Mornomgir
    @Mornomgir 4 місяці тому

    You can go really deep with this tactic.