I have asked them what they mean by that comment….only to have them explode, saying, “Why do you ALWAYS have to start $#it!?” It always backfires on me.
I have seen narcissists literally suggest people become their side-kicks while laughing about it. The laugh in that case of course serves to pseudo-normalise the completely bizarre suggestion.
I don’t mean any disrespect with my comment, but I don’t think most people realize if you have a person with narcissistic behaviors in your life or multiple people with narcissistic behaviors in your life, and one of them happens to be malignant, they are never ever gonna let you go, they are never ever gonna let you relax. Their mission in life once your on their radar as disobedient and they hate you for you standing up for yourself, is to attempt to make your existence a living hell on some level for the rest of their life and or yours. To sit there and absorb their negative behavior towards you is to say to yourself I am OK with them abusing me. In my opinion, that is not OK, that is not OK if you value your own self-esteem. Unfortunately, the only other approach that people with narcissistic behaviors understand is their own behavior, I think, instead of being Greyrock, and sitting there, and absorbing their abuse, you have to step up to the plate and defend yourself, and give them all the supply that they want, except make it to kind of supply, that makes him wanna vomit, and give them so much of it they wont EVER wanna play with you again. If they wanna torture you in private, then bring the battle public so everyone can see what a POS your dealing with. That serves several not instantaneous obvious beneficial purposes at once. The fact these narcissistic people have been traumatized as children is their problem to work on themselves, my problem if iam being relentlessly attacked is THEM. My job is to protect ME. If that comes at the cost of my attacker feeling less worthy because i shunted their BS, then SO BE IT. I will NOT let anyone attempt to feel better about themselves at the expense of my own self worth. NO WAY, NO HOW.
Yup. A lot of them will ramp it up to the point where you damn near have to. The trick is to do it own your own terms so that they can’t control the narrative.
Why as an empathetic human being should I hurt a random person conciously and try to make them feel small? That's exactly what a narcissist or psychopath would enjoy to do. That's not who I wanna be. I want to focus on my mental health, not focus on hate, bullying and putting others down.
Yeah this is weird to me too. I get what she's saying about grey rocking but how many narcs in denial come here and are mad at the empath and then watch this and get permission basically to act even worse. A narc following this advice is Uber gaslighting so its evil advice in the wrong hands. The only good thing that a narc won't do is the whole what did you mean by that, what is your intention in telling me that or saying that....that's gold. Empaths have no problem answering that and narcs NEVER truly can, like it doesn't compute and you mainly get crickets or word salad. Just don't offer any options when you say it. Be patient and if a narc takes her advice and does all of it and even ghosts or calls you the narc instead, because they are experts at that , then the fact they never ask your intention is a good indicator they are the narc because they don't even care to bother and can't understand the question. Ask them this back if a narc is trying to twist the situation and it will make things clear if you are unclear like most people are at first. Thats nearly all I can say . BUT EMPATHS cannot let them use your integrity and agreeable nature against your own self interests and morals either!! That's the game they really are playing. They want you to change and then be the cause. Just give them less and keep your boundaries and integrity and you will feel better in the end because I agree changing into a narc is not ok either.
Yes, this dude acted like a cult leader. I never fell for it but I could feel the expectation in my gut, and watched others try to please him. I was just being me and that showed him up at every corner. He started mimicking me. Bought the same DJ mixer (he had $3000 worth of speakers and played music from a phone). You should have seen his face when he was listening to my show. He had no idea his speaker sounded WAY better than they ever had before. I walked up to him and said, "Notice the difference?" The moment I said that his eyes got wide because he suddenly heard how phenomenal his speakers sounded. Then he saw a tiny volt reader on my bike and said, "Oh, did you buy that because I have the same one?" to hint I bought some electronic monitoring part he also had . Should have seen the look on my face that said, "That is the dumbest thing you could even suggest." He scampered off. I raised his game all the time and he thought he was running the show. He was the biggest joke I've ever met. Never acknowledged positrive contributions and had zero gratitude. Unfortunately, my gf was his 100% codependent. Wanted me in her life forever, but placed that idiot before me. Before I dropped them both, she was informed of her sickness. I can't hope she gets well, because I think she's doing what she wants to do to protect herself and likes it that way. She is no longer my problem. What a disgusting journey that was. I feel very bad for people in a direct relationship with a narcissist. I couldn't even handle observing it.
When we would argue she would raise her voice & I would say Y do u feel the need to have an audience? This is between me & you! & then it was all my fault!!
Having growing up in a narcissist home and 2 divorces from the same, I'm now involved with some1 trauma bonded the same way I was. Though my experience can really be helpful in her recovery/growth, I know how insidious this bond with trauma/drama is. I wonder/ (mildly expect) if supportive will become 'boring'.
Yeah it will if they and you are still addicted to the drama cycle. If what you say is true, you were both conditioned at a young age to see a see-saw life as love.when it is not love. I say it's like why many like Christ as a teacher but do t want a personal relationship. Good seems boring compared to worldly excitement that's really mainly drama, chaos and toxic...but after people hit rock bottom they can see how gross it is and want what's better for them whether it be good relationships or healthy food and living, or just finding peace and learning to be content in that. It's hard work if you didn't grow up appreciating good things and peace and rest and actual love and support. It feels foreign and uncomfortable for a while. Just don't bond too much over being trauma bonded with others because that's still a codependent slippery slope. Do your best and don't worry about the rest because the worry is where it all starts...fear not for fear is a liar and thief.
Narcs don’t like you no matter what you do. Unless they decide for that moment that they do like you or don’t lol. Good luck! It’s a crap shoot. They cra. Best to exit and start over.
But sometimes they go on with their argument without you you could say that’s your opinion walk away I never say I’m sorry you feel that way because I’m not sorry they feel that way. That’s their problem I just say well that’s your opinion and I walk away or I say I don’t care what you think of me or what I do and I walk away they’ll go on screaming without you even listening .My husband he will go on having a fight with me bigger lies start coming out of his mouth trying to make me defend myself. I also say I will not defend myself to lies that one really pisses him off . I use that one on his mother when she has made up some outrageous lie about me. They have to have the last word they think that makes them the winner! Good video thank you 🙏. Thing about moving boxes out is a good idea I started doing that
" in the grand scheme of things sister, I'm not arguing about what you thot I sad, nice try " then I smiled, dropped her off, she was sitting in passenger seat in front of her apt, I gave her the, " thumb exit point to the car door" ...no thanks..calling her sister was not too odd, it was platonic..I don't usually talk like that with such confidence, it just rolled right off my tongue, then I went a had ice cream...& Blocked her...😃
I was reading an article that the three most attractive traits in men to women are narcissism, machiavellism, and psychopathy. There must be some primal reason why narcissists exist. Maybe it is not the answer people want to hear.
@@more444store6 And a guy who is perceived as "nice" in any way is either considered to be hiding something or weak, many women women are not interested. I got the message. Maybe it is what women come to expect, unfortunately. I also think for a man to be very successful today, he may need some of those traits in business. Unfortunately they leak into interpersonal. No wonder why modern dating is so messed up. Good luck though, there are good men around.
@@LilBrownieD Alot of dating advice for men teaches you to be that way (e.g. be assertive, don't be always agreeable, make decisions, but also hear out the woman and take her input), but without the negative garbage, and manipulation that goes along with it.
Be careful. Bipolar, antisocial, DID, and borderline can also be present. Both are very serious illnesses and conditions. All have the highest suicide rate among any illness or personality trait.
AllI managed to do is get her passed off at me to the point were she has gotten three guys to kick my as and when they didn't she broke out in a rage were the bouncers at the club had to physically grab her and sit her down. People saw her for he she is and I just walked away. Not the entertainment I was looking for that night. 🤔
Thank you Danielle, your energy and words are soothing and accurate. I wish good people would pair with other good instead of giving their energy to these vile garbage people who lack authenticity and honesty.
They are damaged children on this inside , just stay no contact and don’t spread negativity or harm back. Stay no contact!
This is more than the truth
They need to receive Pathological Liar of the Year Awards for their Predictable Robotic Boring Movies...
Now that's funny.
I literally became a side character. My brain was broken. Thankfully better after so many years
"What was your intention with that comment?" I like that.
Yes, direct and puts them right on the spot!
I also like "what am I supposed to be mad or something? 🤭🤭🤭"
Bingo !! " They think their life is a movie, and they're the main character" is key to understand them.
Yes but they're the npc In our walk to God. So they are just our distraction to overcome to make the next level😅😅😅😅
Yup like a baby that aint getting it's bottle
They already feel small & insecure...it's a shame based disorder
thought must you feel sorry for themselfs? No way!
I have asked them what they mean by that comment….only to have them explode, saying, “Why do you ALWAYS have to start $#it!?” It always backfires on me.
They *hate* when you ask them to explain their comments, especially if you reframe it to make them look bad.
I have seen narcissists literally suggest people become their side-kicks while laughing about it. The laugh in that case of course serves to pseudo-normalise the completely bizarre suggestion.
Omg yes in deed. Been there
Done that for years with
Beloved family members.
Going no contact has
Been sad but peacful.
I don’t mean any disrespect with my comment, but I don’t think most people realize if you have a person with narcissistic behaviors in your life or multiple people with narcissistic behaviors in your life, and one of them happens to be malignant, they are never ever gonna let you go, they are never ever gonna let you relax. Their mission in life once your on their radar as disobedient and they hate you for you standing up for yourself, is to attempt to make your existence a living hell on some level for the rest of their life and or yours. To sit there and absorb their negative behavior towards you is to say to yourself I am OK with them abusing me. In my opinion, that is not OK, that is not OK if you value your own self-esteem. Unfortunately, the only other approach that people with narcissistic behaviors understand is their own behavior, I think, instead of being Greyrock, and sitting there, and absorbing their abuse, you have to step up to the plate and defend yourself, and give them all the supply that they want, except make it to kind of supply, that makes him wanna vomit, and give them so much of it they wont EVER wanna play with you again. If they wanna torture you in private, then bring the battle public so everyone can see what a POS your dealing with. That serves several not instantaneous obvious beneficial purposes at once. The fact these narcissistic people have been traumatized as children is their problem to work on themselves, my problem if iam being relentlessly attacked is THEM. My job is to protect ME. If that comes at the cost of my attacker feeling less worthy because i shunted their BS, then SO BE IT. I will NOT let anyone attempt to feel better about themselves at the expense of my own self worth. NO WAY, NO HOW.
Yup. A lot of them will ramp it up to the point where you damn near have to. The trick is to do it own your own terms so that they can’t control the narrative.
I wrote this 5 months ago, im surprised i wrote it so in touch with my feelings and not as a reaction to the current BS at that time.
Why as an empathetic human being should I hurt a random person conciously and try to make them feel small? That's exactly what a narcissist or psychopath would enjoy to do. That's not who I wanna be. I want to focus on my mental health, not focus on hate, bullying and putting others down.
Yeah this is weird to me too. I get what she's saying about grey rocking but how many narcs in denial come here and are mad at the empath and then watch this and get permission basically to act even worse. A narc following this advice is Uber gaslighting so its evil advice in the wrong hands. The only good thing that a narc won't do is the whole what did you mean by that, what is your intention in telling me that or saying that....that's gold. Empaths have no problem answering that and narcs NEVER truly can, like it doesn't compute and you mainly get crickets or word salad. Just don't offer any options when you say it. Be patient and if a narc takes her advice and does all of it and even ghosts or calls you the narc instead, because they are experts at that , then the fact they never ask your intention is a good indicator they are the narc because they don't even care to bother and can't understand the question. Ask them this back if a narc is trying to twist the situation and it will make things clear if you are unclear like most people are at first. Thats nearly all I can say . BUT EMPATHS cannot let them use your integrity and agreeable nature against your own self interests and morals either!! That's the game they really are playing. They want you to change and then be the cause. Just give them less and keep your boundaries and integrity and you will feel better in the end because I agree changing into a narc is not ok either.
Sage advice.
Yes, this dude acted like a cult leader. I never fell for it but I could feel the expectation in my gut, and watched others try to please him. I was just being me and that showed him up at every corner. He started mimicking me. Bought the same DJ mixer (he had $3000 worth of speakers and played music from a phone). You should have seen his face when he was listening to my show. He had no idea his speaker sounded WAY better than they ever had before. I walked up to him and said, "Notice the difference?" The moment I said that his eyes got wide because he suddenly heard how phenomenal his speakers sounded. Then he saw a tiny volt reader on my bike and said, "Oh, did you buy that because I have the same one?" to hint I bought some electronic monitoring part he also had . Should have seen the look on my face that said, "That is the dumbest thing you could even suggest." He scampered off. I raised his game all the time and he thought he was running the show. He was the biggest joke I've ever met. Never acknowledged positrive contributions and had zero gratitude. Unfortunately, my gf was his 100% codependent. Wanted me in her life forever, but placed that idiot before me. Before I dropped them both, she was informed of her sickness. I can't hope she gets well, because I think she's doing what she wants to do to protect herself and likes it that way. She is no longer my problem. What a disgusting journey that was. I feel very bad for people in a direct relationship with a narcissist. I couldn't even handle observing it.
This is maybe your best video I have seen. Thanks Danielle.
Yes, Spot on! Not a single word to add! 😊Thank you❤
Truth
When we would argue she would raise her voice & I would say Y do u feel the need to have an audience? This is between me & you! & then it was all my fault!!
Having growing up in a narcissist home and 2 divorces from the same, I'm now involved with some1 trauma bonded the same way I was. Though my experience can really be helpful in her recovery/growth, I know how insidious this bond with trauma/drama is. I wonder/ (mildly expect) if supportive will become 'boring'.
Yeah it will if they and you are still addicted to the drama cycle. If what you say is true, you were both conditioned at a young age to see a see-saw life as love.when it is not love. I say it's like why many like Christ as a teacher but do t want a personal relationship. Good seems boring compared to worldly excitement that's really mainly drama, chaos and toxic...but after people hit rock bottom they can see how gross it is and want what's better for them whether it be good relationships or healthy food and living, or just finding peace and learning to be content in that. It's hard work if you didn't grow up appreciating good things and peace and rest and actual love and support. It feels foreign and uncomfortable for a while. Just don't bond too much over being trauma bonded with others because that's still a codependent slippery slope. Do your best and don't worry about the rest because the worry is where it all starts...fear not for fear is a liar and thief.
Narcs don’t like you no matter what you do. Unless they decide for that moment that they do like you or don’t lol. Good luck! It’s a crap shoot. They cra. Best to exit and start over.
But sometimes they go on with their argument without you you could say that’s your opinion walk away I never say I’m sorry you feel that way because I’m not sorry they feel that way. That’s their problem I just say well that’s your opinion and I walk away or I say I don’t care what you think of me or what I do and I walk away they’ll go on screaming without you even listening .My husband he will go on having a fight with me bigger lies start coming out of his mouth trying to make me defend myself. I also say I will not defend myself to lies that one really pisses him off . I use that one on his mother when she has made up some outrageous lie about me. They have to have the last word they think that makes them the winner! Good video thank you 🙏. Thing about moving boxes out is a good idea I started doing that
" in the grand scheme of things sister, I'm not arguing about what you thot I sad, nice try " then I smiled, dropped her off, she was sitting in passenger seat in front of her apt, I gave her the, " thumb exit point to the car door" ...no thanks..calling her sister was not too odd, it was platonic..I don't usually talk like that with such confidence, it just rolled right off my tongue, then I went a had ice cream...& Blocked her...😃
Excellent Danielle! Thank you!
@Danielle Radin excellent video, great storytelling methods to illustrate your points.
cheers 🍻 from southern ontario, canada 🇨🇦
Look I can creep on your profile to attack you as well! You’re kinda lame trying to hit on this woman :)
That was a really good analogy!
I was reading an article that the three most attractive traits in men to women are narcissism, machiavellism, and psychopathy. There must be some primal reason why narcissists exist. Maybe it is not the answer people want to hear.
@@more444store6 And a guy who is perceived as "nice" in any way is either considered to be hiding something or weak, many women women are not interested. I got the message. Maybe it is what women come to expect, unfortunately. I also think for a man to be very successful today, he may need some of those traits in business. Unfortunately they leak into interpersonal.
No wonder why modern dating is so messed up. Good luck though, there are good men around.
Interesting point. Some women want that protection . But are they really protected themselves from them?
@@cayotelives Maybe it is like the argument for very strong police. It may have benefits but some people will suffer for it.
How reliable was the article's data? Who is critiquing their conclusions?
@@LilBrownieD Alot of dating advice for men teaches you to be that way (e.g. be assertive, don't be always agreeable, make decisions, but also hear out the woman and take her input), but without the negative garbage, and manipulation that goes along with it.
Be careful. Bipolar, antisocial, DID, and borderline can also be present. Both are very serious illnesses and conditions. All have the highest suicide rate among any illness or personality trait.
This is an amazing video.. It conveys a lot of very useful information in a concise way.
Wow that's very powerfull that's so true
Sage advice
So so true,Daniella,do I know it now (grey rock)...
Thanks a lot ❤
Thank yóu!
Love your vids❤
Stay with it you got it good job ! ! !
👍👍👍 thank you
❤you are the best
Great video you go do your hobbies to 😁👍
AllI managed to do is get her passed off at me to the point were she has gotten three guys to kick my as and when they didn't she broke out in a rage were the bouncers at the club had to physically grab her and sit her down. People saw her for he she is and I just walked away.
Not the entertainment I was looking for that night. 🤔
Stir is right :D
Thank you Danielle, your energy and words are soothing and accurate. I wish good people would pair with other good instead of giving their energy to these vile garbage people who lack authenticity and honesty.
Im here because she said I made for feel small after calling her out on her bad behaviour & disrespect.
When a narcissist telling this to co narcissist
Yep its bad
🌹❤️😘
974 likeeZ🖤💚💖❤
Don’t give them an audience, what was your intention with that comment.
Thanks.
Hell noo
Yawn and say you are boring. Then leave.