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Having trouble ID'ing your accent. Would love to know what country you grew up in but would understand if you wish that to remain private. Tena koe, nga mihi & karakias for victims. nau mai haere mai.
2:00 this is a little unsettling straight off the start because my covert narcissist, boyfriend got me by giving me the pity story about his ex That sounded exactly like his first example “still friends with her” Play love keeping people in their life they hate burning bridges. They absolutely hate getting rid of them. They want them on the back burner they want you on the back burner. I feel like most of us know this by now I feel like I’m constantly trying to update my Narc info. and that was not a good sign at all. Neither is the. She’s a B.I.T.C.H. one, but seriously you really they’re changing their tactics all the time guys we all need to keep up 🙏😥
The love-bombing and their response when you say "no" in any form. Spot on. These are the earliest signs, in my experience (woman, 52 y.o.). The response to your "no" can be anything from flying into a rage to guilt-tripping you with "you owe me" or "poor little me" narratives.
No is a complete sentence - Gavin De Becker The Gift Of Fear Without Conscience by Robert D Hare Boundaries by Henry Cloud Safe People by Henry Cloud Complex PTSD From Surviving To Thriving by Pete Walker Coercive Control- Sam Vaknin podcast 🌞. Avoidant Attachers And Covert Control-Ken Reid podcast 🌞 The Impact Of Lovebombing with Shanel Whitney podcast🌞 ( Ken Reid) Lovebombing and Grooming - Sam Vaknin podcast 🌞 Narcissistic Abuser Checklist 100 Tips For Survival And Healing - Sam Vaknin podcast 🌞 Trauma PTSD CTPSD Dissociation And Trauma Bonding - Sam Vaknin podcast 🌞 Self Love To Self Healing -Sam Vaknin podcast ♥️ Take Back Your Life Own It! Sam Vaknin podcast ♥️
agreed My mom has always forced everyone to say "love u 2 sugar" or else/ It was growing up in the IBLP/*duggar* cult that still has lasting consequences. no tv, no radio, no school, no internet, no pants, (F), no cutting your hair, no make up, no jewelry....u get it. And the 3 church dudes who tried to kidnap me when I was 27. Somehow they threatened the children of my therapist. Still baffled at how I could not stop apologizing. Mr Morrison was not wrong, people ARE STRANGE.
Signs are always there from the start we just ignore them but i have learned that "When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time" -Maya Angelou
No is a complete sentence - The Gift Of Fear by Gavin De Becker Complex PTSD From Surviving To Thriving by Pete Walker Boundaries by Henry Cloud Coercive Control - Sam Vaknin podcast 🌞 Avoidant Attachers And Covert Control-Ken Reid podcast 🌞 Lovebombing and Grooming - Sam Vaknin podcast 🌞 Narcissistic Abuser Checklist 100 Tips For Survival And Healing - Sam Vaknin podcast 🌞 Trauma PTSD CTPSD Dissociation And Trauma Bonding - Sam Vaknin podcast 🌞 Self Love To Self Healing -Sam Vaknin podcast ♥️ Take Back Your Life Own It! Sam Vaknin podcast ♥️
I was in a relationship with a narcissist and he was friends with his ex girlfriends and their families. He manipulated everyone around him. He kept them close to keep them hoping that he would put them back in “rotation.” Not all narcissists will speak badly about others. Some are a little more controlled than others. Be careful.
Cults are insidious now. They even advertise in the paper. i had trouble when I joined a yoga studio that turned out to be a cult. I did exactly what this man suggests. I look them up online and there it was. stories about people who got isolated in these yoga retreats. Well I got my membership money back quick on that membership when I threatened to sue them in small claims, court. They didn't want the publicity. This guy knows what he's talking about.Thank you Lisa!
This was great very informative and timely. Amazing to see you two cross paths, as I listen to your content and Rick’s as well to make sense of a destructive situation im currently in. I thought how cool to see the two of you share the same space. Thank you for your work Lisa
Lisa, I just love and appreciate everything that you’ve done to toughen us up. It used to be so simple interacting with people (family, partners, co-workers, church, friends, etc). There are many shades of manipulation. ‘Women of Impact’ represents how we show up in the world. To believe we are worthy and deserving of excellence (from ourselves and others). Listen to your intuition. Thank you Sis. ❤
The confusion you experience while with a covert narcissist is indescribable. I've had boyfriends that were abusive but it's just so different. CN are so convincing that not only will the things they do break your heart but it completely throws u off because it's something u can't even picture them doing. If that makes sense. They make u believe they are a certain kind of person not capable of doing the things that your ex's did or what would hurt u most. That's what's so confusing then they blame u somehow because it's always your fault. I have been with a covert narcissist for 10yrs. No matter how many times I have been through the cycle or seen him rage I still can't picture it when he is love bombing me. Its the craziest thing. I guess everyone is different but for me the constant state of confusion is the absolute worst and most abusive part. But there are plenty other ways they abuse their partners… Withholding and silent treatment. You feel like your going to explode inside. Mine does this so I freak out and then he can blame me for the argument. Physically abusive. When a CN feels trapped they will do anything they can to regain that power and control. Or take something from you what u won't give them. Sexually abusive. Blaming u for watching porn, sex shaming u, withholding sex, having sex with u while your asleep. Blaming you for everything. Blaming you for having to blame you! Additionally, If you suspect cheating or other forms of manipulation and need to gather evidence for your own peace of mind, you may consider reaching out for assistance. For more information, you can contact: MetaspyClubLLC@gmail. com.
I hope you left the CN! I was with one for almost 14 years, and it was just as you said here! I do believe that their p0rn addiction exacerbates - if not actually causes - their narcissism. It escalates over time, needless to say..just a downward spiral. In the end, with my ex CN, his mask hit the floor hard, everything hung out, I realized there was zero love there, and I knew I had to get out for my sheer sanity. Now I feel so traumatized though that I don't know if I can ever trust another man again! They lie about their p0rn use or hide it, then they become monsters over time, and once you realize, could be that years or more have passed..
He didn't bomb me with "love".. but with attention! Like we became really good friends and our living situation were really alike so we found mutual interests that he didn't made up. That were actually real. Then I fell in love with him. But I couldn't see a future together because we had so vastly different core values. Then the manipulation started for real to keep me.
The Gift Of Fear by Gavin De Becker Men That Can't Love by Stephen A Carter - avoidant attachment Healing From A Breakup-Ken Reid podcast 🌞 What You Need To Do In Order To Recover Off The Back Of A Bad Breakup - Ken Reid podcast 🌞 Ken Reads Episode 7 Confusing And Manipulative Behavior podcast 🌞 Why You Choose The Wrong People-Ken Reid podcast 🌞 Self Love To Self Healing -Sam Vaknin podcast ♥️ Take Back Your Life Own It! Sam Vaknin podcast ♥️
@WOITeam I got out of it before he showed too much of his true self. He was still in the chase after me. His last try was to start making me jealous by flirting with other women. But I've gained some self respect throughout the years, so then I blocked him. Little did he knew that it got the opposite effect than he wanted. I blocked him Because telling him it was over didn't work through the year we had contact. The hardest part is act through your sense mind while still loving him. (I was a victim of a narcissist many years ago, so I recognised the signs early on, the difference was that I didnt love that guy, he wasn't my boyfriend, but a life sucking vampire and abuser. While this guy had charm an made me laugh and happy. Still they had many similarities. When I dated this man the old memories started to haunt me, but then I couldn't quite put my finger on why. Not until I decided to end it for good I suddenly understood my intuition was right. But it's hard when your body speaks one language and you intuition another.)
I've been through these awful things and have come out the other side. The problem is: no one knows how to help someone who just comes out of this type of situation. There is no protection either. I wasn't believed, and the man was never even brought in for questioning! He got away with it, and I was stalked by various people for seven years. It only stopped after he died!
✌️💜💚❤️💡 to all of you. I got groomed into a cult-like job selling life insurance. It started at 70 hours week (which never reduced) and the "pay" for the first 90 days was $100/week, to be repaid to them when you "earned" your right to be paid. EDIT: It seems that I put this comment in the wrong thread!
No is a complete sentence - Gavin De Becker The Gift Of Fear Without Conscience by Robert D Hare Complex PTSD From Surviving To Thriving by Pete Walker Boundaries by Henry Cloud Safe People by Henry Cloud Coercive Control - Sam Vaknin podcast 🌞 Lovebombing And Grooming - Sam Vaknin podcast 🌞 Narcissistic Abuser Checklist 100 Tips For Survival And Healing - Sam Vaknin podcast 🌞 Trauma PTSD CTPSD Dissociation And Trauma Bonding - Sam Vaknin podcast 🌞 Self Love To Self Healing -Sam Vaknin podcast ♥️ Take Back Your Life Own It! Sam Vaknin podcast ♥️
This just doesn’t apply to partners. This applies to families, communities and governments. Actually any institution. David Icke once said, whoever controls information controls perspective. Whoever controls perspectives controls behaviour. If someone doesn’t want you looking at other perspectives or questioning their motives and get angry when you do, that too is a HUGE red flag that they want to control you.
No is a complete sentence - Gavin De Becker The Gift Of Fear Complex PTSD From Surviving To Thriving by Pete Walker Boundaries by Henry Cloud Coercive Control - Sam Vaknin podcast 🌞 Avoidant Attachers And Covert Control-Ken Reid podcast 🌞 Why You Choose The Wrong People-Ken Reid podcast 🌞 Trauma PTSD CTPSD Dissociation And Trauma Bonding - Sam Vaknin podcast 🌞 Self Love To Self Healing -Sam Vaknin podcast ♥️ Take Back Your Life Own It! Sam Vaknin podcast ♥️
@@SherriFlemming the gift of fear is an amazing book! I'm kind of rushing now because I have water running so I didn't see the rest of them but thank you. I'm sure people can use them!
The times I have wanted to say NO , yet I didn’t coz I felt sorry for the narcissist! I always felt on the outside side of the spectrum! I wanted to help them, I learned we can’t help them. They don’t care about anyone, not even themselves! They will only put us in dangerous!
How he talks about his ex is not always a good indication of their character. If they’re a master manipulator, they are even good at that chess play. I was with a legitimate chess player, literally and in our relationship figuratively, and let me tell you, he talked about his exes in an ok way…you can tell there is still “love”. And what did I experience? He talked to multiple exes/other women anytime we “weren’t doing good” and used this against me. It was my fault he cheated. And yes, I will call it that because for a long time I forgave something past my boundaries. Omg he just said pawned. I commented before he even got to that. I will mention I was with a narcissistic manipulator. And he is still, to this day, coming at me with ridiculous things “I did”. I didn’t do them. I know I didn’t.
Agreed. A lot of manipulative men (and women) will keep their exes close enough that they can hoover from them in times of needing a little boost or to weaponize them against you.
I have a trauma of betrayal from an ex secretly building a new relationship with their ex partner that was 20 years older than her and showing alot of signs of manipulation and grooming behavior. I have also seen others with bad boundaries that have closer than what should be acceptable friendships with ex partners. So, to me personally, it has generally been a sign of a lack of healthy boundaries if anyone is close friends with an ex partner. Also, in my opinion, cheating is unforgivable and separating means that the relationship is done and will never work. If it was a healthy relationship with a good partner that genuinely cared about the integrity of the relationship, then there would be no reason to separate. I don't quite understand how someone could really be friends with someone else that couldn't be good to you in a relationship though. I know that there are many circumstances and that humans are complicated, it just doesn't make as much sense to me and I feel like I would still have enough attachment to someone that was an ex to feel uncomfortable with it. And there is that dynamic of emotionally stringing them along or feeling like you are emotionally being strung along for a possibility of getting back together, that it just doesn't seem healthy to me.
@@Gotoworkkk Er.. I don't really buy that at all. If someone is so infatuated by their first relationship that they can never get over it and will never forget about it, that is some pretty clear signs of issues of grieving the loss of that relationship that they should talk to a therapist about. However, I can relate to feeling a great loss in the breaking up of a longterm relationship, grieving that and wondering how they'd ever connect in the same way with another partner, that makes total sense to me. It's hard, but there can be healing, recovery and being able to move on from that though.
i would NEVER date a man who speaks very negative about his ex and can not explain how and especially why his previous relationship did not work out. I like men who have a good opinion of their ex, left on good terms and still care about their well-being. I know this sometimes is not possible, especially if drugs or violence were involved on the ex's part, but still, a man who says he seriously still "hates" his ex is a red flag.....
So true! I've been a JW for 30 years. I left 4 years ago. When I was out of this religion I saw clearly that it is a real cult. So sorry for all those who dedicated their life to it.
I think all these people who allowed themselves to be manipulated snd even kill had one thing in common- pride. They liked seeing themselves as an important part of that “bigger picture.” It’s pride.
Even when it comes to leaving jobs. A lot of people stay at deadend jobs because they feel like they will feel like a loser if they quit. People gaslight themselves about leaving. Leave a place that is not serving you.
This was pure gold, Thank you so much to you both for this, I've done some study on this, Steven Hassan is one to research, The bite model, Behavior, Information, Thought and emotional control, I will continue on my research, Thank you for talking about abusive relationships, No one has the right to coerce anyone, Use your own mind to critical think and make your own decisions, Peace, love and respect to you both and everyone, Thank you universe, All glory power praise and smiles to the most high :-)
Get out of the bubble. Same as abusive relationship physical and mental. Totally agree. I have never seen our relationship as clear as I do now, after moving away from him.
I have often felt I let myself down by sticking around in emotionally abusive relationships as long as I did. In hindsight, I'm astonished at how bad it all was and what I put up with for way too long.
@@elipotter369 Don’t blame yourself and not the only one who accepted it for so long. Heal and be the person you are. That’s why you are a ‘Woman of Impact’. You walked away when you knew this wasn’t right.
Indeed. It's a major banner. 🚩 Not over an ex or still tethered, then not available for a healthy committed relationship. Signs You're Dating A Severely Avoidant Person -;Ken Reid podcast 🌞 Communicating With Avoidant Attachers- Ken Reid podcast 🌞 Healing From A Breakup-Ken Reid podcast 🌞 What You Need To Do In Order To Recover Off The Back Of A Bad Breakup - Ken Reid podcast 🌞 Self Love To Self Healing -Sam Vaknin podcast ♥️ Take Back Your Life Own It! Sam Vaknin podcast ♥️ Men That Can't Love by Stephen A Carter -avoidant attachment The Gift Of Fear by Gavin De Becker 8 Dates by John and Julie Gottman defines the blueprint of healthy relationships. It clarifies. Are You The One For Me Knowing Who Is Right And Who Is Wrong by Barbara De Angelis Boundaries by Henry Cloud Safe People by Henry Cloud
The first section about *him* is spot on. The part about *me* is not. I never loved him, never doubted myself, but once I allowed him to move in with me, the Justice system failed me. I was faced with having to live with someone I believed could kill me while evicting him. Since he moved into MY house, I couldn't get rid of the MF. I eventually divorced him while he was out of the country... How do you "leave" when it's your house?! (I did that a few times, but eventually had to go home...
WOW. You're lucky he went abroad. We had a similar situation in my country where a man moved in with a woman to live in her apartment. They got married. He was abusive and exploitative and at some point she wanted to terminate their relationship and move him out of her apartment but he refused to move out. Nothing helped. They got divorced. The apartment was still hers but she had to move out. He never paid the bills. He basically lived rent free and she paid for all the bills. This went on for several years as she fought to get a court order to move him out and when she got it, a lawyer, a bailiff and two police officers went to her apartment. Guess what happened? This man refused to leave and shot the lawyer and injured two police officers with a gun he illegally possesed. He eventually got evicted but not without consequences to other people's lives and well being.
The Gift Of Fear by Gavin De Becker Without Conscience by Robert D Hare Boundaries by Henry Cloud Safe People by Henry Cloud Complex PTSD From Surviving To Thriving by Pete Walker Healing From A Breakup-Ken Reid podcast 🌞 What You Need To Do In Order To Recover Off The Back Of A Bad Breakup - Ken Reid podcast 🌞 Why You Choose The Wrong People-Ken Reid podcast 🌞 Coercive Control - Sam Vaknin podcast 🌞 Avoidant Attachers And Covert Control-Ken Reid podcast 🌞 Trauma PTSD CTPSD Dissociation And Trauma Bonding - Sam Vaknin podcast 🌞 Self Love To Self Healing -Sam Vaknin podcast ♥️ Take Back Your Life Own It! Sam Vaknin podcast ♥️
This is such an important point. If you allow someone to move into your home, they can use all these tactics against you. It's important to really know someone well. Users can talk you into living together when you hardly even know each other. Once they're living in your place, it can be shocking how the laws governing eviction will help them and not you ... even if you are the sole owner of the property. NEVER let someone move in without knowing THEM and also, without knowing the Law in your area regarding eviction.
Indeed. Coercive Control - Sam Vaknin podcast 🌞 Avoidant Attachers And Covert Control-Ken Reid podcast 🌞 Trauma PTSD CTPSD Dissociation And Trauma Bonding - Sam Vaknin podcast 🌞 Narcissistic Abuser Checklist 100 Tips For Survival And Healing - Sam Vaknin podcast 🌞 Self Love To Self Healing -Sam Vaknin podcast ♥️ Take Back Your Life Own It! Sam Vaknin podcast ♥️ No is a complete sentence - Gavin De Becker Complex PTSD From Surviving To Thriving by Pete Walker Boundaries by Henry Cloud
Yep I so agree I broke free from the bondi bubble . In the end I have found out it was my adopted mother and her partner worked with others including the police all in a plot of scare tactics and they have claimed I am mentally unstable to the police and the hospital. Why because I too was speaking out like yourself on social media!
I like these videos. But that explanation regarding how one speaks of ex's is very misleading. I'd hate for someone to end a new amazing relationship because they remember this guy saying this. Some ex's are truly awful and it doesn't mean you are dangerous for saying so.
With certain types, all of their relationships end badly, because they are sick. It always has to be the other person's fault. If you see that, run! Sometimes people have a horrible ex it happens, but not every time! I agree with your comment, thank you for bringing that up.
Psychos at least the one I was with was a researcher. Smart. I even made the mistake of sending him a clinical description of himself. He learned and adapted. Pycho chameleon.
My job. They say "we are a family, blah, blah, blah" i like my coworkers and job, but i hear this is "cultish" talk. AND any mild criticism of ANYTHING is looked down on by management. They've been there for 20 plus years and bought into the b.s. the employees however dont buy the bull thank God
I hope you can eventually find a different and better job. It's become very popular for Workplaces, Podcasters, and almost any group to start using the words "family" and "tribe". I always see that as a red flag. When a workplace does that, I see them as "Cult Lite". They may not outright be a cult, but they are using cult tactics to have control over the group. It rarely works out well. Often it's an excuse to make you work longer and harder for less money.
Do cult leaders know they're a cult? How do they think about what they're doing? I know Narcissists don't think of themselves as narcissists exactly, so I wonder how cult leaders think of themselves.
Most cult leaders know exactly what they are doing ... which is controlling and adjusting others for their own purposes. True believers often really cannot see that they are leading a cult, or that they are a cult member. When a group, whether religious or other requires you to "shun" people who leave the group, that should be a huge red flag that something is wrong.
Re female leaders, they might be evident in social groups where a covert narcissist is subtley in control. I unfortunately fell in with one. I didn't realize I was being controlled for a long time, and when I did, I attempted to distance myself. I was shocked at the influence she had over others and how isolated I was just for saying no to this person. In retrospect, it was a very subtle, controlling dynamic, nothing you would necessarily notice. Some people are really good at manipulation.
Same. I lost my entire circle of friends at the time due to her influence. Just because I said no to her demands. It was upsetting at the time but really a blessing. Anyone that believes lies about you with no evidence was already looking to be against you. In my situation we had gone to an estate sale. I had gotten there before her and had started a collection of things I was buying already when she arrived. She wanted some of the items I had put aside for no other reason than she felt more entitled to them. When she couldn't bully me into letting her have them she was upset. That was the deciding incident. After that I was persona non grata within the friend group. I have no idea what she told them but that was it. It was made very clear I was no longer welcome. In retrospect she was a 'community narcissist' -- the person that does good deeds for the purpose of clout. If she did something for anybody you would never hear the end of it. If it was something she had done for you no matter how small you would hear about it almost every time you saw her. Looking back she was incredibly manipulative.
@@kerryharvey6365 yes, it sounds very much the same. You have one incident where you stand up to them and that's intolerable to them. They know you'd never serve as a flying monkey and you must be ostracized. It's so temping to try to learn what they're saying about you and defend yourself. I think it would be relentless manipulation if you stood your ground and it would just exhaust you. Anyway, I certainly expected more out of the others, so it really is no great loss of those in the inner circle. .
I had a lady who was keen to befriend me when we both went on a neighbourhood management committee. I was a bit wary at first as it seemed a bit like love bombing. I said nothing, just kept my emotions in reserve on the inside. I had a 6th sense she was lying a few times, though no external evidence. So I waited until an opportunity to ask a clarifying question on something where I already knew what the truth was, but she didn't know I had facts. Sure enough, she lied with ease- over & over. Playing games with my emotions without knowing I saw. She continually undermined my authority and expertise & confidence in a covert way. Others were taken in completely by her and treated me like I was wrong all the time even though I was highly skilled and knowledgeable. Eventually I got her out of my life by simply blocking her number after a particularly vicious email attack. But written to denigrate me in an oblique fashion. She thinks she's the smartest person of all, and manipulates people largely just to amuse herself and keep herself busy snd be tbe best & nicest. I feel I outplayed her, but it was unfortunate that she destroyed my reputation with others. She just liked being totally in control of everyone, plays people like a puppet master, she's "so nice" is her reputation! Very few saw through her.,
@@notaclue822 Yes. I think often they are testing how far they can push us to stay in line. In my case she severely underestimated my willingness to walk away from that kind of behavior. It can sting to be pushed out of a group at the time but really it's a blessing. I would love to see Lisa do some episodes about these kinds of women and women on women hate and manipulation. It's way more rampant than people give credit to.
Dr. Steven Hassan is excellent to read because he himself was recruited into a cult and then got out. After reading his book, I finally understood the answer to: "How can such a smart person fall for this cult stuff?" He explains how even very smart people can be roped into a cult. Quite shocking.
There is other reasons why a person who has an ex wants to stay friends with their ex’s and it isn’t for good intentions, especially if they are a narcissist, as we know a narcissist, loves to keep their ex’s close so they always have someone to go back to or reach out to when they are angry with the person they are in a relationship with or if they just need extra attention you know someone to feel sorry for them or have sex with on the side!! They tell you that they love you yet because narcissists are so immature that can not regulate their emotions so anytime they can’t handle issues in a relationship they some how can’t remember all the issues they had with their exes and now their exes are better then you and you become their enemy, they triangulate you and then want you to doubt your reality.
I remember when the Patty Hearst story was happening. Even as a kid, i felt the reaction to her situation was wrong. Nobody seemed to have any sympathy for what she went through. I thought it would have been terrifying.
I thought what happened to her was awful as well. She didn't kill or injure anyone. I think if the D.A. wanted to bring charges, she should have gotten parole. To actually jail her after what she been thru is horrible.
Satan was the first narcissist! I believe narcissism is a form of demonic oppression. These entities are so dangerous! Overt or covert, it's all the same. And both types can do so much damage!
Awwww I’m not in the cult mentality whatsoever and have read books by JZ Knight (never heard of any cult related to her) and they are fabulous. Be discerning but don’t throw the baby out with the bath water.
Learn to say no and observe the response. Very interesting info about cults, and cult memberships. MAGA is being called a cult. Is it? The last half of this was about cult phenomenon super creeps. How to people get pulled into this kind of thing?
It has elements. The leader seems like a guru which is what people need and want right now in a time of uncertainty and difficulty. There seems no focus on reality, it's like religious platitudes and the intensity of following him is like a religion.
@@LisaBilyeu my mind has a wonderful habit of taking the sting out by finding the less heavy. Now, I’m wondering if they used low voltage light bulbs… lol. Narcs give us all a gift & freedom… please check out dr Abdul saad he made me aware of an empathic pattern connected to pride; that’s the thought that one could ‘love’ a narcissist “enough” to make them “ x y z “ our giving is not bad intentioned but not fully altruistic; it’s what we learned to survive and is created to relieve our own stress’s as children.. pride in empathy is the gateway to narc abuse in all forms…. “I can fix it”. I never agreed with the statement “I didn’t love myself” for me my self love allowed me to know the narc actions were never about me or a reflection of my worth. surety in ones ability to love and help is what narcs use…. Their slight of hand is the negative affects that their crazy making has on the brain and body. Triangulation failed because I’m the best “ME” there is, Jealousy failed because I love my self enough to know I can never miss what’s meant for me. Envy failed because to me envy is like being mad because you can’t taste someone else’s gum while they’re chewing it ….gaslighting failed … Darvo failed…. But pride in my empathy caused me to apologize for “peace sake” knowing full well I didn’t owe that. The lesson: understanding someone’s poor behavior is based in childhood trauma and coping mechanisms doesn’t mean dismissing their dreadful behavior. The narcs teach us discernment knowing who to give to and learning not to give with the unspoken contract “if I give you what you need, you’ll give me what I need” empathy for poor behavior - whatever the reasons.- is not acceptable. It allows a disingenuous person to perpetually act out because they do not value empathy. That’s quite clear when you use discernment.
Praise God! After enduring numerous challenges, I'm now a proud homeowner, blessed with an incredible $155,000 monthly income. God's faithfulness has restored my family's happiness and prosperity, fulfilling His promises. Everything is falling into place, and I'm grateful for His unwavering love and provision. God bless America!🇺🇸
Impressive! Been trying to trade on my own for a while now, but it isn't going well. few months ago I lost about $27,000 in the trade. Can you please at least advise me on what to do?
Sorry about that…. Well I started with Maira Angelina Alexander in 2023 and now my life is good some thing to write home about!!!! I thank God the most He alone made it possible for the opportunity to come my way 🤲🤲🤲🤲
Giving her my initial savings of $21,000 to invest in a brokerage account was a turning point in my life. It's been an incredibly rewarding experience and the best decision I ever made!
So many of these cases unfortunately start with people looking to find love. And I think cult leaders are the maaaaaaster manipulators to the extreme because they don't just influence and brainwash one person, but hundreds, sometimes thousands! So I find it utterly fascinating to learn about their techniques because I find we can then use it in any situation. Hope that gives context 🥰
@@LisaBilyeu Ahh, I see! Myself, I was in a long-term relationship with a covert narcissist (got out, thank God!), and I was hoping to learn something new, but I've already watched a few videos of you with Dr. Ramani - and a tonne on her channel as well, and I have her book, "It's Not You". Dr. Les Carter also speaks so well on this topic, among others.. One thing that I'd LOVE to see discussed, though, is the impact that these types of relationships have on women; like, the "aftermath" (I know - Dr. Ramani's book does focus on healing; I actually have not yet read the whole book) - and also the partner's use of p*rn and such, as many (I personally would believe it to be ALL) narcissistic men (I know there are women, too, but it's believed to be primarily men) are also heavy p*rn addicts. My ex sure was! It damages women SO profoundly (of course, Dr. Ramani has touched on this in her many talks) - even JUST the p*rn itself! - and I myself am finding that I do not think I can trust men again, as I feel they are (mostly narcissistic) viewing women primarily as objects. Not to mention, too, that p*rn apparently CAUSES narcissism - very interesting thought to consider! - which you can learn more about if you watch Dr. Trish Leigh here on UA-cam.. I love your channel! Blessings :)
This is an excellent discussion! It’s wonderful listening to a man with insight and expertise in the subject and reaffirms what is inappropriate relationship behaviors which should not be tolerated.
There is other reasons why a person who has an ex wants to stay friends with their ex’s and it isn’t for good intentions, especially if they are a narcissist, as we know a narcissist, loves to keep their ex’s close so they always have someone to go back to or reach out to when they are angry with the person they are in a relationship with or if they just need extra attention you know someone to feel sorry for them or have sex with on the side!! They tell you that they love you yet because narcissists are so immature that can not regulate their emotions so anytime they can’t handle issues in a relationship they some how can’t remember all the issues they had with their exes and now their exes are better then you and you become their enemy, they triangulate you and then want you to doubt your reality.
Thank you to today’s sponsor:
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Having trouble ID'ing your accent. Would love to know what country you grew up in but would understand if you wish that to remain private. Tena koe, nga mihi & karakias for victims. nau mai haere mai.
2:00 this is a little unsettling straight off the start because my covert narcissist, boyfriend got me by giving me the pity story about his ex That sounded exactly like his first example “still friends with her” Play love keeping people in their life they hate burning bridges. They absolutely hate getting rid of them. They want them on the back burner they want you on the back burner. I feel like most of us know this by now I feel like I’m constantly trying to update my Narc info. and that was not a good sign at all. Neither is the. She’s a B.I.T.C.H. one, but seriously you really they’re changing their tactics all the time guys we all need to keep up 🙏😥
What about us Sue married to a narcissist does that make us of walking red flag when we don’t talk to our ex for a reason??? Come on people!!!
The love-bombing and their response when you say "no" in any form. Spot on. These are the earliest signs, in my experience (woman, 52 y.o.). The response to your "no" can be anything from flying into a rage to guilt-tripping you with "you owe me" or "poor little me" narratives.
No is a complete sentence - Gavin De Becker The Gift Of Fear
Without Conscience by Robert D Hare
Boundaries by Henry Cloud
Safe People by Henry Cloud
Complex PTSD From Surviving To Thriving by Pete Walker
Coercive Control- Sam Vaknin podcast 🌞.
Avoidant Attachers And Covert Control-Ken Reid podcast 🌞
The Impact Of Lovebombing with Shanel Whitney podcast🌞 ( Ken Reid)
Lovebombing and Grooming - Sam Vaknin podcast 🌞
Narcissistic Abuser Checklist 100 Tips For Survival And Healing - Sam Vaknin podcast 🌞
Trauma PTSD CTPSD Dissociation And Trauma Bonding - Sam Vaknin podcast 🌞
Self Love To Self Healing -Sam Vaknin podcast ♥️
Take Back Your Life Own It! Sam Vaknin podcast ♥️
agreed My mom has always forced everyone to say "love u 2 sugar" or else/ It was growing up in the IBLP/*duggar* cult that still has lasting consequences. no tv, no radio, no school, no internet, no pants, (F), no cutting your hair, no make up, no jewelry....u get it. And the 3 church dudes who tried to kidnap me when I was 27. Somehow they threatened the children of my therapist. Still baffled at how I could not stop apologizing. Mr Morrison was not wrong, people ARE STRANGE.
So true! Thank you for sharing and watching! 💕
Signs are always there from the start we just ignore them but i have learned that "When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time" -Maya Angelou
Women don’t want to see the red flags.
No is a complete sentence - The Gift Of Fear by Gavin De Becker
Complex PTSD From Surviving To Thriving by Pete Walker
Boundaries by Henry Cloud
Coercive Control - Sam Vaknin podcast 🌞
Avoidant Attachers And Covert Control-Ken Reid podcast 🌞
Lovebombing and Grooming - Sam Vaknin podcast 🌞
Narcissistic Abuser Checklist 100 Tips For Survival And Healing - Sam Vaknin podcast 🌞
Trauma PTSD CTPSD Dissociation And Trauma Bonding - Sam Vaknin podcast 🌞
Self Love To Self Healing -Sam Vaknin podcast ♥️
Take Back Your Life Own It! Sam Vaknin podcast ♥️
@@shaysmith2125 The Gift Of Fear by Gavin De Becker
So true and such an amazing quote!
Omg this is SO TRUE!! You can tell by how “nice” they are with everyone! But your gut can tell that they just want to be liked.
I was in a relationship with a narcissist and he was friends with his ex girlfriends and their families. He manipulated everyone around him. He kept them close to keep them hoping that he would put them back in “rotation.” Not all narcissists will speak badly about others. Some are a little more controlled than others. Be careful.
Yeah, that would be a huge red flag for me!
Cults are insidious now. They even advertise in the paper. i had trouble when I joined a yoga studio that turned out to be a cult. I did exactly what this man suggests. I look them up online and there it was. stories about people who got isolated in these yoga retreats. Well I got my membership money back quick on that membership when I threatened to sue them in small claims, court. They didn't want the publicity. This guy knows what he's talking about.Thank you Lisa!
Every interview is amazing thanks Lisa.
This was great very informative and timely. Amazing to see you two cross paths, as I listen to your content and Rick’s as well to make sense of a destructive situation im currently in. I thought how cool to see the two of you share the same space. Thank you for your work Lisa
Thank you so much for watching and for your kind words! We will let Lisa know!
Lisa, I just love and appreciate everything that you’ve done to toughen us up. It used to be so simple interacting with people (family, partners, co-workers, church, friends, etc). There are many shades of manipulation. ‘Women of Impact’ represents how we show up in the world. To believe we are worthy and deserving of excellence (from ourselves and others). Listen to your intuition. Thank you Sis. ❤
Oh wow thank yooooou sis for this utterly sweet and heartfelt message! Appreciate you! 🥰❤️
The confusion you experience while with a covert narcissist is indescribable. I've had boyfriends that were abusive but it's just so different. CN are so convincing that not only will the things they do break your heart but it completely throws u off because it's something u can't even picture them doing. If that makes sense. They make u believe they are a certain kind of person not capable of doing the things that your ex's did or what would hurt u most. That's what's so confusing then they blame u somehow because it's always your fault. I have been with a covert narcissist for 10yrs. No matter how many times I have been through the cycle or seen him rage I still can't picture it when he is love bombing me. Its the craziest thing.
I guess everyone is different but for me the constant state of confusion is the absolute worst and most abusive part. But there are plenty other ways they abuse their partners… Withholding and silent treatment. You feel like your going to explode inside. Mine does this so I freak out and then he can blame me for the argument. Physically abusive. When a CN feels trapped they will do anything they can to regain that power and control. Or take something from you what u won't give them. Sexually abusive. Blaming u for watching porn, sex shaming u, withholding sex, having sex with u while your asleep. Blaming you for everything. Blaming you for having to blame you!
Additionally, If you suspect cheating or other forms of manipulation and need to gather evidence for your own peace of mind, you may consider reaching out for assistance. For more information, you can contact: MetaspyClubLLC@gmail. com.
I hope you left the CN! I was with one for almost 14 years, and it was just as you said here! I do believe that their p0rn addiction exacerbates - if not actually causes - their narcissism. It escalates over time, needless to say..just a downward spiral. In the end, with my ex CN, his mask hit the floor hard, everything hung out, I realized there was zero love there, and I knew I had to get out for my sheer sanity. Now I feel so traumatized though that I don't know if I can ever trust another man again! They lie about their p0rn use or hide it, then they become monsters over time, and once you realize, could be that years or more have passed..
He didn't bomb me with "love".. but with attention! Like we became really good friends and our living situation were really alike so we found mutual interests that he didn't made up. That were actually real. Then I fell in love with him. But I couldn't see a future together because we had so vastly different core values. Then the manipulation started for real to keep me.
The Gift Of Fear by Gavin De Becker
Men That Can't Love by Stephen A Carter - avoidant attachment
Healing From A Breakup-Ken Reid podcast 🌞
What You Need To Do In Order To Recover Off The Back Of A Bad Breakup - Ken Reid podcast 🌞
Ken Reads Episode 7 Confusing And Manipulative Behavior podcast 🌞
Why You Choose The Wrong People-Ken Reid podcast 🌞
Self Love To Self Healing -Sam Vaknin podcast ♥️
Take Back Your Life Own It! Sam Vaknin podcast ♥️
So sorry this happened 🥹
@WOITeam I got out of it before he showed too much of his true self. He was still in the chase after me. His last try was to start making me jealous by flirting with other women. But I've gained some self respect throughout the years, so then I blocked him. Little did he knew that it got the opposite effect than he wanted. I blocked him Because telling him it was over didn't work through the year we had contact. The hardest part is act through your sense mind while still loving him. (I was a victim of a narcissist many years ago, so I recognised the signs early on, the difference was that I didnt love that guy, he wasn't my boyfriend, but a life sucking vampire and abuser. While this guy had charm an made me laugh and happy. Still they had many similarities. When I dated this man the old memories started to haunt me, but then I couldn't quite put my finger on why. Not until I decided to end it for good I suddenly understood my intuition was right. But it's hard when your body speaks one language and you intuition another.)
I've been through these awful things and have come out the other side. The problem is: no one knows how to help someone who just comes out of this type of situation. There is no protection either. I wasn't believed, and the man was never even brought in for questioning! He got away with it, and I was stalked by various people for seven years. It only stopped after he died!
OMG. Yes, i too know *the drill*. Mine hasn't died yet, unfortunately
Same here!
✌️💜💚❤️💡 to all of you. I got groomed into a cult-like job selling life insurance. It started at 70 hours week (which never reduced) and the "pay" for the first 90 days was $100/week, to be repaid to them when you "earned" your right to be paid.
EDIT: It seems that I put this comment in the wrong thread!
@@BeingLiftedyes!!!
No is a complete sentence - Gavin De Becker The Gift Of Fear
Without Conscience by Robert D Hare
Complex PTSD From Surviving To Thriving by Pete Walker
Boundaries by Henry Cloud
Safe People by Henry Cloud
Coercive Control - Sam Vaknin podcast 🌞
Lovebombing And Grooming - Sam Vaknin podcast 🌞
Narcissistic Abuser Checklist 100 Tips For Survival And Healing - Sam Vaknin podcast 🌞
Trauma PTSD CTPSD Dissociation And Trauma Bonding - Sam Vaknin podcast 🌞
Self Love To Self Healing -Sam Vaknin podcast ♥️
Take Back Your Life Own It! Sam Vaknin podcast ♥️
This just doesn’t apply to partners. This applies to families, communities and governments. Actually any institution. David Icke once said, whoever controls information controls perspective. Whoever controls perspectives controls behaviour. If someone doesn’t want you looking at other perspectives or questioning their motives and get angry when you do, that too is a HUGE red flag that they want to control you.
It's ALL the same form of control, just different situations..
I only wish this video had shown up six months ago.
No is a complete sentence - Gavin De Becker The Gift Of Fear
Complex PTSD From Surviving To Thriving by Pete Walker
Boundaries by Henry Cloud
Coercive Control - Sam Vaknin podcast 🌞
Avoidant Attachers And Covert Control-Ken Reid podcast 🌞
Why You Choose The Wrong People-Ken Reid podcast 🌞
Trauma PTSD CTPSD Dissociation And Trauma Bonding - Sam Vaknin podcast 🌞
Self Love To Self Healing -Sam Vaknin podcast ♥️
Take Back Your Life Own It! Sam Vaknin podcast ♥️
@@SherriFlemming excellent watch his new pod cast on mob salking .
@@SherriFlemming the gift of fear is an amazing book! I'm kind of rushing now because I have water running so I didn't see the rest of them but thank you. I'm sure people can use them!
The times I have wanted to say NO , yet I didn’t coz I felt sorry for the narcissist! I always felt on the outside side of the spectrum! I wanted to help them, I learned we can’t help them. They don’t care about anyone, not even themselves! They will only put us in dangerous!
Powerful & critically important information! Thank you, Lisa & guest Rick Alan Ross 🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾
Thank you for watching!
This describes the ex husband And the ex I dated… both have NPD. Extremely destructive.
Wow!
Omg so true every word and it applies to other people in our lives too not just a partner.
So true!
This is an imperative conversation to have and to share.
Thanks so much!
I am enjoying this topic. Yet I must add . You look so lovely with that hair color. You look naturally youthful and beautiful.
We will let Lisa know! Thank you for watching!
Wow, scary. I have seen some IG Influencers talking like this weird spiritual black hole teaching
How he talks about his ex is not always a good indication of their character. If they’re a master manipulator, they are even good at that chess play. I was with a legitimate chess player, literally and in our relationship figuratively, and let me tell you, he talked about his exes in an ok way…you can tell there is still “love”. And what did I experience?
He talked to multiple exes/other women anytime we “weren’t doing good” and used this against me. It was my fault he cheated. And yes, I will call it that because for a long time I forgave something past my boundaries.
Omg he just said pawned. I commented before he even got to that.
I will mention I was with a narcissistic manipulator. And he is still, to this day, coming at me with ridiculous things “I did”. I didn’t do them. I know I didn’t.
Yep, some of them are real masters at what they do.
Agreed. A lot of manipulative men (and women) will keep their exes close enough that they can hoover from them in times of needing a little boost or to weaponize them against you.
I have a trauma of betrayal from an ex secretly building a new relationship with their ex partner that was 20 years older than her and showing alot of signs of manipulation and grooming behavior. I have also seen others with bad boundaries that have closer than what should be acceptable friendships with ex partners. So, to me personally, it has generally been a sign of a lack of healthy boundaries if anyone is close friends with an ex partner.
Also, in my opinion, cheating is unforgivable and separating means that the relationship is done and will never work. If it was a healthy relationship with a good partner that genuinely cared about the integrity of the relationship, then there would be no reason to separate.
I don't quite understand how someone could really be friends with someone else that couldn't be good to you in a relationship though. I know that there are many circumstances and that humans are complicated, it just doesn't make as much sense to me and I feel like I would still have enough attachment to someone that was an ex to feel uncomfortable with it. And there is that dynamic of emotionally stringing them along or feeling like you are emotionally being strung along for a possibility of getting back together, that it just doesn't seem healthy to me.
A man will never forget his first true love. No matter what. Remember that.
@@Gotoworkkk Er.. I don't really buy that at all. If someone is so infatuated by their first relationship that they can never get over it and will never forget about it, that is some pretty clear signs of issues of grieving the loss of that relationship that they should talk to a therapist about. However, I can relate to feeling a great loss in the breaking up of a longterm relationship, grieving that and wondering how they'd ever connect in the same way with another partner, that makes total sense to me. It's hard, but there can be healing, recovery and being able to move on from that though.
i would NEVER date a man who speaks very negative about his ex and can not explain how and especially why his previous relationship did not work out. I like men who have a good opinion of their ex, left on good terms and still care about their well-being. I know this sometimes is not possible, especially if drugs or violence were involved on the ex's part, but still, a man who says he seriously still "hates" his ex is a red flag.....
I’ll tell you an ex is an ex for a good reason. Most relationships do not end on a good note.
Such good points!
The first 10 minutes sums up my experience with the Jehovah’s Witnesses to a Tee! If only they could see this and grasp it.
So true!
I've been a JW for 30 years.
I left 4 years ago.
When I was out of this religion I saw clearly that it is a real cult.
So sorry for all those who dedicated their life to it.
My heart is broken.
I think all these people who allowed themselves to be manipulated snd even kill had one thing in common- pride. They liked seeing themselves as an important part of that “bigger picture.” It’s pride.
Opp, Sis. Lisa did "it" again. Bravo Queen. We need, value and appreciate YOU and everything you're saying without saying it. ❤
We will let her know!
🤮
Even when it comes to leaving jobs. A lot of people stay at deadend jobs because they feel like they will feel like a loser if they quit. People gaslight themselves about leaving. Leave a place that is not serving you.
Great specialist!!
This was pure gold, Thank you so much to you both for this, I've done some study on this, Steven Hassan is one to research, The bite model, Behavior, Information, Thought and emotional control, I will continue on my research, Thank you for talking about abusive relationships, No one has the right to coerce anyone, Use your own mind to critical think and make your own decisions, Peace, love and respect to you both and everyone, Thank you universe, All glory power praise and smiles to the most high :-)
Damn straight. I asked for dinner but I was NOT offering dessert. Gotta get ahead of that rumour mill! Yeeesh....
Get out of the bubble. Same as abusive relationship physical and mental. Totally agree. I have never seen our relationship as clear as I do now, after moving away from him.
I have often felt I let myself down by sticking around in emotionally abusive relationships as long as I did.
In hindsight, I'm astonished at how bad it all was and what I put up with for way too long.
@@elipotter369 Don’t blame yourself and not the only one who accepted it for so long. Heal and be the person you are. That’s why you are a ‘Woman of Impact’. You walked away when you knew this wasn’t right.
@deb.m.7458 thank you.
I wouldn't go with a guy who is still friends with thier ex & their family
Indeed. It's a major banner. 🚩
Not over an ex or still tethered, then not available for a healthy committed relationship.
Signs You're Dating A Severely Avoidant Person -;Ken Reid podcast 🌞
Communicating With Avoidant Attachers- Ken Reid podcast 🌞
Healing From A Breakup-Ken Reid podcast 🌞
What You Need To Do In Order To Recover Off The Back Of A Bad Breakup - Ken Reid podcast 🌞
Self Love To Self Healing -Sam Vaknin podcast ♥️
Take Back Your Life Own It! Sam Vaknin podcast ♥️
Men That Can't Love by Stephen A Carter -avoidant attachment
The Gift Of Fear by Gavin De Becker
8 Dates by John and Julie Gottman defines the blueprint of healthy relationships. It clarifies.
Are You The One For Me Knowing Who Is Right And Who Is Wrong by Barbara De Angelis
Boundaries by Henry Cloud
Safe People by Henry Cloud
I agree that awareness is protective
Ah, the purification of the world, where have I heard that before?
The first section about *him* is spot on. The part about *me* is not. I never loved him, never doubted myself, but once I allowed him to move in with me, the Justice system failed me. I was faced with having to live with someone I believed could kill me while evicting him. Since he moved into MY house, I couldn't get rid of the MF. I eventually divorced him while he was out of the country... How do you "leave" when it's your house?! (I did that a few times, but eventually had to go home...
WOW. You're lucky he went abroad. We had a similar situation in my country where a man moved in with a woman to live in her apartment. They got married. He was abusive and exploitative and at some point she wanted to terminate their relationship and move him out of her apartment but he refused to move out. Nothing helped. They got divorced. The apartment was still hers but she had to move out. He never paid the bills. He basically lived rent free and she paid for all the bills. This went on for several years as she fought to get a court order to move him out and when she got it, a lawyer, a bailiff and two police officers went to her apartment. Guess what happened? This man refused to leave and shot the lawyer and injured two police officers with a gun he illegally possesed. He eventually got evicted but not without consequences to other people's lives and well being.
@@Ugnele Wow, that's horrible! How is he not in jail?!
The Gift Of Fear by Gavin De Becker
Without Conscience by Robert D Hare
Boundaries by Henry Cloud
Safe People by Henry Cloud
Complex PTSD From Surviving To Thriving by Pete Walker
Healing From A Breakup-Ken Reid podcast 🌞
What You Need To Do In Order To Recover Off The Back Of A Bad Breakup - Ken Reid podcast 🌞
Why You Choose The Wrong People-Ken Reid podcast 🌞
Coercive Control - Sam Vaknin podcast 🌞
Avoidant Attachers And Covert Control-Ken Reid podcast 🌞
Trauma PTSD CTPSD Dissociation And Trauma Bonding - Sam Vaknin podcast 🌞
Self Love To Self Healing -Sam Vaknin podcast ♥️
Take Back Your Life Own It! Sam Vaknin podcast ♥️
This is such an important point. If you allow someone to move into your home, they can use all these tactics against you. It's important to really know someone well. Users can talk you into living together when you hardly even know each other. Once they're living in your place, it can be shocking how the laws governing eviction will help them and not you ... even if you are the sole owner of the property. NEVER let someone move in without knowing THEM and also, without knowing the Law in your area regarding eviction.
@@LifelongHealth He's definitely going to jail.
I think the key word here is beeing submisive. This leaders are depending on submissive people.
Indeed.
Coercive Control - Sam Vaknin podcast 🌞
Avoidant Attachers And Covert Control-Ken Reid podcast 🌞
Trauma PTSD CTPSD Dissociation And Trauma Bonding - Sam Vaknin podcast 🌞
Narcissistic Abuser Checklist 100 Tips For Survival And Healing - Sam Vaknin podcast 🌞
Self Love To Self Healing -Sam Vaknin podcast ♥️
Take Back Your Life Own It! Sam Vaknin podcast ♥️
No is a complete sentence - Gavin De Becker
Complex PTSD From Surviving To Thriving by Pete Walker
Boundaries by Henry Cloud
Yep I so agree I broke free from the bondi bubble . In the end I have found out it was my adopted mother and her partner worked with others including the police all in a plot of scare tactics and they have claimed I am mentally unstable to the police and the hospital. Why because I too was speaking out like yourself on social media!
I like these videos. But that explanation regarding how one speaks of ex's is very misleading. I'd hate for someone to end a new amazing relationship because they remember this guy saying this. Some ex's are truly awful and it doesn't mean you are dangerous for saying so.
Indubitably!!!!
With certain types, all of their relationships end badly, because they are sick. It always has to be the other person's fault. If you see that, run!
Sometimes people have a horrible ex it happens, but not every time! I agree with your comment, thank you for bringing that up.
Psychos at least the one I was with was a researcher. Smart. I even made the mistake of sending him a clinical description of himself. He learned and adapted. Pycho chameleon.
@@Ps51cleanWhen they tell you, they've learned a lot from you...😱
The worst guy I've been with only had good things to say about his exes. Some people are great at playing the part
Wow wow wow thank you thank you thank you!!!! ❤❤❤
Thanks for watching! 💕
My job. They say "we are a family, blah, blah, blah" i like my coworkers and job, but i hear this is "cultish" talk. AND any mild criticism of ANYTHING is looked down on by management. They've been there for 20 plus years and bought into the b.s. the employees however dont buy the bull thank God
I hope you can eventually find a different and better job. It's become very popular for Workplaces, Podcasters, and almost any group to start using the words "family" and "tribe". I always see that as a red flag. When a workplace does that, I see them as "Cult Lite". They may not outright be a cult, but they are using cult tactics to have control over the group. It rarely works out well. Often it's an excuse to make you work longer and harder for less money.
Do cult leaders know they're a cult? How do they think about what they're doing? I know Narcissists don't think of themselves as narcissists exactly, so I wonder how cult leaders think of themselves.
Depends on whether they are pure con men/women or true believers. If the latter, they probably think what they are doing is the only way.
Ask tRUMP !!
Most cult leaders know exactly what they are doing ... which is controlling and adjusting others for their own purposes.
True believers often really cannot see that they are leading a cult, or that they are a cult member. When a group, whether religious or other requires you to "shun" people who leave the group, that should be a huge red flag that something is wrong.
Re female leaders, they might be evident in social groups where a covert narcissist is subtley in control. I unfortunately fell in with one. I didn't realize I was being controlled for a long time, and when I did, I attempted to distance myself. I was shocked at the influence she had over others and how isolated I was just for saying no to this person.
In retrospect, it was a very subtle, controlling dynamic, nothing you would necessarily notice. Some people are really good at manipulation.
Same. I lost my entire circle of friends at the time due to her influence. Just because I said no to her demands. It was upsetting at the time but really a blessing. Anyone that believes lies about you with no evidence was already looking to be against you. In my situation we had gone to an estate sale. I had gotten there before her and had started a collection of things I was buying already when she arrived. She wanted some of the items I had put aside for no other reason than she felt more entitled to them. When she couldn't bully me into letting her have them she was upset. That was the deciding incident. After that I was persona non grata within the friend group. I have no idea what she told them but that was it. It was made very clear I was no longer welcome. In retrospect she was a 'community narcissist' -- the person that does good deeds for the purpose of clout. If she did something for anybody you would never hear the end of it. If it was something she had done for you no matter how small you would hear about it almost every time you saw her. Looking back she was incredibly manipulative.
@@kerryharvey6365her ?
@@kerryharvey6365 yes, it sounds very much the same. You have one incident where you stand up to them and that's intolerable to them. They know you'd never serve as a flying monkey and you must be ostracized. It's so temping to try to learn what they're saying about you and defend yourself. I think it would be relentless manipulation if you stood your ground and it would just exhaust you. Anyway, I certainly expected more out of the others, so it really is no great loss of those in the inner circle. .
I had a lady who was keen to befriend me when we both went on a neighbourhood management committee. I was a bit wary at first as it seemed a bit like love bombing. I said nothing, just kept my emotions in reserve on the inside.
I had a 6th sense she was lying a few times, though no external evidence. So I waited until an opportunity to ask a clarifying question on something where I already knew what the truth was, but she didn't know I had facts. Sure enough, she lied with ease- over & over. Playing games with my emotions without knowing I saw.
She continually undermined my authority and expertise & confidence in a covert way. Others were taken in completely by her and treated me like I was wrong all the time even though I was highly skilled and knowledgeable.
Eventually I got her out of my life by simply blocking her number after a particularly vicious email attack. But written to denigrate me in an oblique fashion.
She thinks she's the smartest person of all, and manipulates people largely just to amuse herself and keep herself busy snd be tbe best & nicest.
I feel I outplayed her, but it was unfortunate that she destroyed my reputation with others.
She just liked being totally in control of everyone, plays people like a puppet master, she's "so nice" is her reputation! Very few saw through her.,
@@notaclue822 Yes. I think often they are testing how far they can push us to stay in line. In my case she severely underestimated my willingness to walk away from that kind of behavior. It can sting to be pushed out of a group at the time but really it's a blessing. I would love to see Lisa do some episodes about these kinds of women and women on women hate and manipulation. It's way more rampant than people give credit to.
Great suggestion
I'm reading books by Dr Steven Hassan. He is a cult expert. It's shocking to learn about this in detail.
Dr. Steven Hassan is excellent to read because he himself was recruited into a cult and then got out. After reading his book, I finally understood the answer to: "How can such a smart person fall for this cult stuff?" He explains how even very smart people can be roped into a cult. Quite shocking.
There is other reasons why a person who has an ex wants to stay friends with their ex’s and it isn’t for good intentions, especially if they are a narcissist, as we know a narcissist, loves to keep their ex’s close so they always have someone to go back to or reach out to when they are angry with the person they are in a relationship with or if they just need extra attention you know someone to feel sorry for them or have sex with on the side!!
They tell you that they love you yet because narcissists are so immature that can not regulate their emotions so anytime they can’t handle issues in a relationship they some how can’t remember all the issues they had with their exes and now their exes are better then you and you become their enemy, they triangulate you and then want you to doubt your reality.
What did Shannan Watts miss?
What did Lacey Petersen miss?
I remember when the Patty Hearst story was happening. Even as a kid, i felt the reaction to her situation was wrong. Nobody seemed to have any sympathy for what she went through. I thought it would have been terrifying.
She received a harsher punishment than her captors.
I thought what happened to her was awful as well. She didn't kill or injure anyone. I think if the D.A. wanted to bring charges, she should have gotten parole. To actually jail her after what she been thru is horrible.
What about that dance cult? There was a netflix documentary about these two sisters who were dancing and making money for some cult leader.
OMG yeh I saw that recently! Insane!
Wow. I'll have to look into that. I've not heard of that one. It's amazing the type of thing around which a cult can form!!
Lucifer before getting kick out of heaven was an overt grandiose narcissist..but in the garden before God hes covert ..but its the same guy..evil
Satan was the first narcissist! I believe narcissism is a form of demonic oppression. These entities are so dangerous! Overt or covert, it's all the same. And both types can do so much damage!
Awwww I’m not in the cult mentality whatsoever and have read books by JZ Knight (never heard of any cult related to her) and they are fabulous. Be discerning but don’t throw the baby out with the bath water.
Is Teal Swan a cult leader?
Learn to say no and observe the response. Very interesting info about cults, and cult memberships. MAGA is being called a cult. Is it?
The last half of this was about cult phenomenon super creeps. How to people get pulled into this kind of thing?
It has elements. The leader seems like a guru which is what people need and want right now in a time of uncertainty and difficulty. There seems no focus on reality, it's like religious platitudes and the intensity of following him is like a religion.
Demands, isolation, exclusion, person or group texting,
When you don't know who you are in Christ, you are easily susceptible to manipulation of all kinds. 🙏🏻
THIS EPISODE SHOULD BE ABOUT DV ….AND WHAT BEHAVIORS CONSTITUTES DV …..
This is a rerun ? He was your guest not long ago.
Hey homie! Nope its a new episode. We filmed 2 when he came to my studio :-)
@LisaBilyeu Thanks
So they turned her into
Mother Christmas-- nutz
OMG lol I never thought of that!
@@LisaBilyeu my mind has a wonderful habit of taking the sting out by finding the less heavy. Now, I’m wondering if they used low voltage light bulbs… lol. Narcs give us all a gift & freedom… please check out dr Abdul saad he made me aware of an empathic pattern connected to pride; that’s the thought that one could ‘love’ a narcissist “enough” to make them “ x y z “ our giving is not bad intentioned but not fully altruistic; it’s what we learned to survive and is created to relieve our own stress’s as children.. pride in empathy is the gateway to narc abuse in all forms…. “I can fix it”. I never agreed with the statement “I didn’t love myself” for me my self love allowed me to know the narc actions were never about me or a reflection of my worth. surety in ones ability to love and help is what narcs use…. Their slight of hand is the negative affects that their crazy making has on the brain and body. Triangulation failed because I’m the best “ME” there is, Jealousy failed because I love my self enough to know I can never miss what’s meant for me. Envy failed because to me envy is like being mad because you can’t taste someone else’s gum while they’re chewing it ….gaslighting failed … Darvo failed…. But pride in my empathy caused me to apologize for “peace sake” knowing full well I didn’t owe that. The lesson: understanding someone’s poor behavior is based in childhood trauma and coping mechanisms doesn’t mean dismissing their dreadful behavior. The narcs teach us discernment knowing who to give to and learning not to give with the unspoken contract “if I give you what you need, you’ll give me what I need” empathy for poor behavior - whatever the reasons.- is not acceptable. It allows a disingenuous person to perpetually act out because they do not value empathy. That’s quite clear when you use discernment.
Better not have any ads
This vid is about Cults in olvement
Female cult leader: Teal Swan. That woman is a textbook psychopath
Praise God! After enduring numerous challenges, I'm now a proud homeowner, blessed with an incredible $155,000 monthly income. God's faithfulness has restored my family's happiness and prosperity, fulfilling His promises. Everything is falling into place, and I'm grateful for His unwavering love and provision. God bless America!🇺🇸
Hello how do you make such monthly??
I'm a born Christian and sometimes I feel so down of myself because of low finance but I still believe in God.
Impressive! Been trying to trade on my own for a while now, but it isn't going well. few months ago I lost about $27,000 in the trade. Can you please at least advise me on what to do?
Sorry about that…. Well I started with Maira Angelina Alexander in 2023 and now my life is good some thing to write home about!!!! I thank God the most He alone made it possible for the opportunity to come my way 🤲🤲🤲🤲
She's a licensed broker here in the states🇺🇸 and finance advisor.
Giving her my initial savings of $21,000 to invest in a brokerage account was a turning point in my life. It's been an incredibly rewarding experience and the best decision I ever made!
Some of the groups are legit.
This doesn't seem to be talking about dating...just cults?
So many of these cases unfortunately start with people looking to find love. And I think cult leaders are the maaaaaaster manipulators to the extreme because they don't just influence and brainwash one person, but hundreds, sometimes thousands! So I find it utterly fascinating to learn about their techniques because I find we can then use it in any situation. Hope that gives context 🥰
@@LisaBilyeu Ahh, I see! Myself, I was in a long-term relationship with a covert narcissist (got out, thank God!), and I was hoping to learn something new, but I've already watched a few videos of you with Dr. Ramani - and a tonne on her channel as well, and I have her book, "It's Not You". Dr. Les Carter also speaks so well on this topic, among others.. One thing that I'd LOVE to see discussed, though, is the impact that these types of relationships have on women; like, the "aftermath" (I know - Dr. Ramani's book does focus on healing; I actually have not yet read the whole book) - and also the partner's use of p*rn and such, as many (I personally would believe it to be ALL) narcissistic men (I know there are women, too, but it's believed to be primarily men) are also heavy p*rn addicts. My ex sure was! It damages women SO profoundly (of course, Dr. Ramani has touched on this in her many talks) - even JUST the p*rn itself! - and I myself am finding that I do not think I can trust men again, as I feel they are (mostly narcissistic) viewing women primarily as objects. Not to mention, too, that p*rn apparently CAUSES narcissism - very interesting thought to consider! - which you can learn more about if you watch Dr. Trish Leigh here on UA-cam.. I love your channel! Blessings :)
Relying on only information from the partner or group sounds exactly like religion 😂
Tell us in the comments below what you want to tell Lisa about this episode! ⬇
Stop nodding her head like a ruddy nodding donkey - I literally can’t watch her any more! All she needs to do is to sit still and listen.
This is an excellent discussion! It’s wonderful listening to a man with insight and expertise in the subject and reaffirms what is inappropriate relationship behaviors which should not be tolerated.
I thought he seemed a bit boring at first, and nearly exited... so might be good to make sure videos are strong at the start.
@@CatsInHats-S.CrouchingTiger We are so happy to hear!
@@elipotter369 Thanks for the feedback!
❤ 8:21 ❤
37:00
Sounds like Lori Vallow Daybell
🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🦋
Watching from 🇰🇪 Paul McKenzie is an animal
There is other reasons why a person who has an ex wants to stay friends with their ex’s and it isn’t for good intentions, especially if they are a narcissist, as we know a narcissist, loves to keep their ex’s close so they always have someone to go back to or reach out to when they are angry with the person they are in a relationship with or if they just need extra attention you know someone to feel sorry for them or have sex with on the side!!
They tell you that they love you yet because narcissists are so immature that can not regulate their emotions so anytime they can’t handle issues in a relationship they some how can’t remember all the issues they had with their exes and now their exes are better then you and you become their enemy, they triangulate you and then want you to doubt your reality.