Understanding Trauma Survival Responses: Defensive Rage with Dr. Kate Truitt

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  • Опубліковано 23 гру 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 41

  • @Goose-San
    @Goose-San 8 місяців тому +15

    I’m recently grappling with the fact that I’m more traumatized than I think, and I’ve always struggled to keep calm. This video helped me accept myself a little bit more, and give myself a little bit of empathy. Thank you for making me feel understood.

    • @DrKateTruitt
      @DrKateTruitt  8 місяців тому +3

      I’m truly moved by your message and grateful that the video brought you some comfort and self-acceptance. Recognizing and acknowledging your own trauma is a brave and significant step towards healing. Remember, it's perfectly okay to give yourself compassion and empathy as you navigate through this. You’re not alone in this journey. Sending you much strength and healing as you continue to understand and care for yourself. ❤🤗

    • @floydblack7696
      @floydblack7696 4 місяці тому

      @@DrKateTruitt your leadership here is truly magnificent. I can identify with goossans statement in its entirety. Thank you. Dr. K. This brings healing success.

    • @MickeyInSD
      @MickeyInSD 3 місяці тому

      Huge gentle hugs to you...

  • @newpilgrim
    @newpilgrim 10 місяців тому +3

    Thank you so much! This is the first time I've heard this.

  • @UtubeH8tr
    @UtubeH8tr 20 днів тому +2

    When you grow up in a environment that encouraged kids to fight, you wonder fv cking why.
    Why?
    And the lack of an answer is what made those poor kids angry their whole lives.
    It was the only way to survive.

    • @DrKateTruitt
      @DrKateTruitt  18 днів тому +1

      Your words hold so much truth and weight. Growing up in an environment that fosters survival through conflict leaves such a deep imprint. For those kids, fighting wasn’t a choice-it was a necessity, a way to stay alive in a world that felt unsafe. The anger that follows is often rooted in that unanswered "why," a pain that no child should have to carry.
      Healing from this starts with understanding that their response wasn’t a failure but a testament to their resilience. And while survival shaped them, healing can set them free. Sending you warmth and strength as we hold space for those stories and strive to create safety where there once was none. 💗

  • @orchidsnlyme1564
    @orchidsnlyme1564 4 місяці тому +1

    I am soooo soft spoken, gentle and very kind but I do get this issue!!! I hate it because something bad and/or horrible happens and I feel like I'm fighting for my life!!! Feels like I have no control over it or what I do. Even if I don't get rage I still get shaking, tunnel vision and will even have a hard time talking. I've even been known to completely freeze up!! It's like my body has a mind of its own!!! Had a terribly abusive childhood and was a Fawn. I learned to be quiet and stay out of the way. Now that I'm older, this trauma rage is popping up more and more. It's frustrating cuz that's not me!!!!

    • @DrKateTruitt
      @DrKateTruitt  4 місяці тому

      I'm so sorry you’re experiencing this-it’s incredibly challenging to feel out of control in those moments. 💔 Please know that your response is deeply rooted in your survival instincts, and it doesn’t define who you truly are. The fact that you’re aware of it is a powerful first step toward healing. Your kindness and gentle nature are still very much a part of you, even when this response takes over. With time, self-compassion, and the right tools, you can begin to find more peace within yourself. Sending warmth and strength as you continue on this healing journey. 💗

  • @floydblack7696
    @floydblack7696 5 місяців тому +1

    Wow thank you

  • @Natty183
    @Natty183 11 місяців тому +5

    "Incredibly taxing on the nervous system." Yes. I feel like it's totally a firm of dissociation, too. I'm walking up to it intellectually, learning somatically, what it IS, but I'm really having a hard time getting in front of it. Sucks for me, it's threatening my literal survival and I'm still not able to get in front of it. Granted, I'm homeless due to really demonic acting people and it's out me in really dangerous situations twice now. One was I found a truck stop bathroom that was kind of deserted a lot and I felt comfortable wearing my face and brushing my teeth and a woman walked in looking like she wanted to kill me, used the bathroom and then attempted to kill me... This was the last two months so actually, come to think of it, I'm doing okay because I'm on the verge of getting ahead of it. My mom beat me for a year when I was 9-10. It was very calculated in its seeming uncontrollableness. She only beat me above the hairline and under where shirts and shorts would cover it. It got to the point where I couldn't touch my head so my hair got so nasty. Then one day my entire body told me she was going to kill me and I ran to school two hours early and hid behind the bungalow that was my classroom. The absurdity of doing word search exercises while being in this state of shocked awareness is awe inspiring still... I never returned and revealed the abuse finally.
    The woman that tried to kill me in the bathroom hit me first in the side of the head and my glasses cut my face before they landed unbroken in the sink. Other than that she just kept trying to slam my head and face into the sink, at which point I thought it I stabbed her in the face with my toothbrush she would stop, but she just looked at herself surprised in the mirror and continue to throw me around trying to slam my head into the ground and stalls. I finally was able to scream for help, but then she started screaming for help, too. Finally when three people came she proceeded to try to choke me to death in front of them. The police said it was her word against mine. The next day I realized the extent of the actual blows she landed. It was the same as the way my mother beat me, where it wasn't visible. Just the amount of calculation while commiting these acts is surreal to me still. I think it's the hardest part to still deal with and come to terms with.
    I need to get ahead of this anger. I would never assault someone but it's sending me into dissociated states where I'm ranting to myself out loud and it's putting me in new danger. My response to the trauma is killing me. I'm going to win. I'm going to survive this. I'm going to be able to work. I'm going to be able to get on my feet. I'll never ask anyone for help ever again. I'll never get tied to another "human" again and I will protect my peace of mind, my freedom and my energy. I'm going to be focusing on building health, creativity and justice, not focused on engrained trauma responses created by monsters. That is how the monsters win...

    • @DrKateTruitt
      @DrKateTruitt  11 місяців тому +2

      I'm truly sorry to hear the trauma and the experiences you have endured and how it impacted you. Thank you for the vulnerability and finding safety to share this with us. It's common for trauma survivors to experience dissociation as a protective mechanism against overwhelming pain and fear. It’s also understandable that this trauma is manifesting in ways that are impacting your daily life and safety. 💗
      The anger and dissociation you describe are natural responses to the trauma you have experienced. However, it’s important to find safe and healthy ways to process these emotions to prevent them from putting you in further danger.
      Strong work on having the determination to overcome these challenges, to survive, and to rebuild your life. There is light at the end of the tunnel. You are not alone in this. Sending you much warmth, strength, and healing ❤️❤️‍🩹❤️

    • @TrueSelfWalkAway
      @TrueSelfWalkAway 8 місяців тому

      You deserve better. I have many ideas. I bang my own head. It gets sore & no one can see. Your story helped me. Thank you. Big Havening Hug to you.

  • @DolliMoonArt
    @DolliMoonArt 5 місяців тому +3

    i wanted to know, there’s something i do. during fights where i sabotage my life and everything. but when im in a fight or angry it’s very toxic I have cptsd but my fighting style jumps into a severe state of fight or flight, where I get locked in these modes and nothing anyone can say can get me out of them I get fixated on whatever trigger it is and anxious and panicky to where I can’t hear or understand and even if they say the truth to calm me down I feel every right to fight or flight it’s a very toxic abusive insane style of fighting cuz it lasts for hours and hounds on the same thing over and over. I continue to get mad and freak out and lose my mind over something and believe I’m right and I believe it’s justified but when it’s all over I see I overreacted or I was wrong or it was dumb or even if I was right I did waaaaay to much said waaaaay to much that i ruined any merit I had. It’s described as going for the jugular and not letting go for hours. I really want to know why I do this, if anyone else does, how to fix this and what it’s called. Thank you - I’ve been told I’m the worst person to deal with and craziest by many people cause of this. That I burn bridges and push people away and treat them like nothing they ever did mattered for they never mattered

    • @DrKateTruitt
      @DrKateTruitt  5 місяців тому +1

      Thank you for sharing your experience so openly. It sounds like you're dealing with a lot, and it's incredibly brave to acknowledge these patterns and seek understanding. 💗 What you're describing is indeed a common response among those with complex PTSD (CPTSD). When you experience intense emotional triggers, your brain might enter a heightened state of fight or flight, making it difficult to process information rationally. This can result in prolonged and intense reactions where it's hard to step back and regain control.
      Many people with trauma backgrounds experience similar reactions. It's not a reflection of your character but rather a survival mechanism your brain has developed to protect you. Understanding this can be the first step toward change.
      Becoming aware of the triggers and signs that you're entering this state can help you intervene earlier. Mindfulness practices including the havening techniques can be beneficial in grounding yourself in the present moment. You can also work with a trauma-informed therapist who specializes in trauma who can provide you with tools to manage these reactions. Remember that being kind to yourself and understanding that these reactions are a part of your trauma can reduce some of the shame and guilt that often accompany them.
      You are not alone in this and there is support out there for you. Sending you much warmth, strength and healing ❤️❤️‍🩹❤️

    • @DolliMoonArt
      @DolliMoonArt 5 місяців тому +1

      @@DrKateTruitt wow that makes sense! Thank you so much makes me feel better because a lot of ppl tell me they never seen or dealt with it and I have been looking for help for a long time or try to figure out what it is because I burn a lot of bridges. Thank you so much for your help and I will look into therapy

  • @wotintheworld
    @wotintheworld 7 місяців тому +6

    Raging out here, three times listening. All I heard was compassion for yourself. Cpr for the amigdila.
    I'mjust as frustrated as when I started.

    • @hellothere98765
      @hellothere98765 25 днів тому

      This video delivers on what the title says. The issue is internal, likely projection.
      Self compassion is a critical part of the solution. If you're annoyed by this, understand that is your internal experience, not a problem in the world.

  • @ukchris64
    @ukchris64 7 місяців тому +4

    Yes, in fact I have the sort of rage Hitler would have had, in fact this is how I see myself when I have exlposive outbursts. I go to bed angry, I get up angry, very rarely happy, I wish for life to actually end

    • @DrKateTruitt
      @DrKateTruitt  7 місяців тому +2

      Thank you for being open about your struggles. Rage like this can often stem from deeper issues that might need to be addressed with professional help. Please consider reaching out to a mental health professional who can guide you through these feelings and work with you towards a happier, more peaceful state of mind. Everyone deserves to find relief and joy in their lives, and taking steps toward managing your anger is a crucial part of that journey. You're not alone in this, and there are resources and people who can support you as you work towards healing. Sending you warmth and healing ❤️❤️‍🩹❤️

    • @ukchris64
      @ukchris64 7 місяців тому +1

      @@DrKateTruitt I thank you for your warm wishes, I have indeed sought help, had help, nothing has worked so far but then I am seeking more help. Sadly i do believe I am beyond help, we shall see.

    • @DezeNutz-i8g
      @DezeNutz-i8g 7 місяців тому

      ​@@ukchris64 mushroom

    • @hellothere98765
      @hellothere98765 25 днів тому +1

      ​​@@ukchris64I hope you will consider non Western healing options. Western medicine has its limitations and it sounds like you've experienced those. The fact that you watched this and are communicating shows that you are engaged in healing and you are NOT beyond help! It sounds like you feel stuck. Stuck sucks and can be temporary! I wish you ease in finding a path that sincerely feels beneficial ❤

  • @hellothere98765
    @hellothere98765 25 днів тому

    My adult sibling has raged at me our entire lives. We're no contact now. She genuinely cannot see her culpability. The things she screams in those moments are a mix of the cruelest things she could say and accusing the target of her own toxic or inadequate behavior. She also has narcissistic traits such as constant need for kudos and feeling better than everyone else, calculated smear campaigns, usually well before the target knows there is an issue (outside of the 1:1 abuse), a persona of being easy going when not triggered but this persona is fragile (its ironic to walk on eggshells around someone who believes themselves to be so calm and cool). She can't maintain healthy close relationships and claims to have an abundance of "friends" who are actually superficial or acquaintances. The endings of intimate or close relationships are explosive with her convincing herself and (amazingly) others that she's the victim. She's also highly emotionally reactive with little capacity for nuance or suspending judgement when there's insufficient data.
    Of course, our parents never interviened even though they've witnessed it and been targets a couple times. Our mother's addiction and high narcissistic traits were a significant source of both our respective dysfunction.

    • @DrKateTruitt
      @DrKateTruitt  23 дні тому

      Thank you for sharing your experience-it sounds like you’ve faced a lot of pain and complexity in this relationship. Your sibling’s behaviors, including defensive rage and narcissistic traits, likely stem from deep dysregulation and early patterns of feeling unsafe, but their lack of accountability makes connection difficult.
      Choosing no contact is an act of self-preservation and self-compassion, especially after enduring such harm. It’s okay to grieve the relationship you wished for while honoring the boundary you’ve set.
      The lack of parental intervention adds another layer of hurt, leaving you to navigate this on your own. Therapy can be a supportive space to process these emotions and continue your healing. You deserve peace and relationships that nurture you. Sending you warmth, strength and healing ❤❤‍🩹❤

  • @Nonespuppet
    @Nonespuppet 5 місяців тому

    After 30 years of unresolved trauma and realised it to a friend who didn't judge me I feel better now but I still frame it as I don't care if I die but if it's to protect my friends it's ok I know it's not but how does one change that?

    • @DrKateTruitt
      @DrKateTruitt  5 місяців тому

      Thank you for sharing your journey. It's incredibly powerful that you've opened up to a friend and found some relief. Changing deeply ingrained beliefs and responses can be challenging, but it's absolutely possible with time and support. Working with a trauma-informed therapist can help you reshape these thoughts and find healthier ways to cope. Sending you warmth and strength on your healing journey. 💗

    • @Nonespuppet
      @Nonespuppet 5 місяців тому

      @@DrKateTruitt thanks for your info but to be honest my past in other people words have had ten therapist quite on me most of them just cried and one blamed my past for his owne self death tbh I think my friend can only handle my healing journey and I'm so glad he is helping me have a nice evening

  • @questshun808
    @questshun808 2 місяці тому

    What do you call it when someone doesn’t realize what they’ve done after a defensive rage episode? When you try to bring it up they rage out again or just justify their rage…

    • @DrKateTruitt
      @DrKateTruitt  2 місяці тому

      It sounds like you're describing a situation where someone may be stuck in a trauma loop, where the defensive rage response is so strong that they can’t fully process what’s happening, let alone reflect on it afterward. When they’re triggered, their brain floods with stress chemicals like norepinephrine, which can lead to memory gaps or a distorted view of their actions. The brain goes into survival mode, and it can feel impossible for them to access calm or reason in that moment.
      When someone justifies their rage or reactivates at the mention of it, it could be their system trying to protect them from feelings of vulnerability or shame. While it’s painful and frustrating, this is why healing starts with self-compassion, but it also requires boundaries and safety in relationships. Using tools like CPR for the Amygdala after the episode, once they're calm, can help in creating that healing space. 💗 Sending you warmth and strength as you navigate this challenging situation.

  • @TrueSelfWalkAway
    @TrueSelfWalkAway 8 місяців тому +1

    This happened to me last year. So crazy to go so crazy. This is my first introduction to beyond the 4 Fs. Havening helps. Like my weighted blanket or Temple Grandin's squeee machine.

    • @DrKateTruitt
      @DrKateTruitt  8 місяців тому +2

      I'm truly sorry to hear that and I'm glad to know you find the havening techniques helpful. You're not alone in this 💗 much warmth and healing your way ❤️😊

    • @destinybound1988
      @destinybound1988 6 місяців тому

      How does the weighted blanket help? Just curious?

    • @TrueSelfWalkAway
      @TrueSelfWalkAway 6 місяців тому

      @@destinybound1988 feels good. Thunder shirt for humans. Try it.

  • @michaelbaker7827
    @michaelbaker7827 4 місяці тому +1

    Thanks for explaining the problem I already knew existed, otherwise I wouldn't have looked up your video. Next video, offer a solution instead of wasting my time.

  • @megaluckydog1212
    @megaluckydog1212 2 місяці тому +1

    ya lost me when you flipped your hair. Too many narc traits, sorry, my infj opinion.

    • @leachatee
      @leachatee Місяць тому +2

      Wtf are you on about

  • @llbailey9946
    @llbailey9946 2 місяці тому +2

    This says NOTHING LOL

  • @ThomasBlakely-jd3ms
    @ThomasBlakely-jd3ms 25 днів тому

    This comes across as very disingenuous.