When you see the narc with the new supply and all appears well. Remember that was you in the lovebomb phase. Now remember all the tourment you went through, that's where their headed next. 🙂
Once we understand that they are incapable of loving us and that everything was a lie, it hurts, but it's the start of the healing process. Stay strong, you will get there 💪
We broke up 1 year ago and now hes getting married and showing of his new girl. He treated me so badly during our 17years together and now marries so fast.
There is NO real happiness with a narcissist and for a narcissist! Count your blessings if the narcissist has replaced you with new supply. And pray for the new supply although they have to the learn the lessons like you did. Queen Melanie speaks facts again as usual 💖 go within!
Funny enough me and another guy who dated my ex all within the same year we both got discarded by her little did I know she had her main supply a man she has been knowing since high school well this man seems to be a fool for her game he probably doesn’t want to be alone and as far as I know her friend said she leaves him for a week and goes right back to him blames him for everything and always talks about what he doesn’t do for her her game was running short in she realized she was running out of supply within that couple of years and finally people caught on to her BS she finally did whatever to remain with the guy she has been with on and off I guess he finally gave him what he deserved or he just gave into her BS and decided to just deal with her crap who knows maybe not maybe he just doesn’t want to be alone maybe he is a narcissist just like her which is what I suspect more of but he does look like a fool and I can tell from a few pics the evil in his eyes so I guess they should just stick with each other then because they are just destroying others lives and waisting others time with their little games they play with each other and other people it’s all so confusing but I’m sure they confuse each other on a daily basis 🤪
@Ytdeletesallmycomments 😂🤣😂🤣 Narcissist ARE NEVER HAPPY… stop lying they always end up bored, hating the supply and cheating with anybody with a heart beat
such a good point! because they do not connect (and do not know who you are, but have only snapshot of you) you can be old and new supply trough many many cycles. I was old and new supply for decades while he has also old nad new supply outside of our marriage. final discard of me was made after 33 yrs of narccisticship after I was in process of understanding the narcissism for 3 yrs...final discard happens 3 months ago...although I am learning for 3 yrs now with whom I shared my life with, I am still in terrible pain and feel like my healing process just started.
I was one of those. I came back because I felt I had nothing else and nowhere to go if I could do it all over again I wouldn't have come back a second time because they discarded me the second time because I discarded them the first time my empathic ability drew me back to them to believe in the goodness that they could possess but I had to go through the fire and the loss and humiliation to finally accept that the only reason they hoovered me back was to have the last word in essence it has brought me peace because there is no third time doesn't matter if it's court documents or family estrangement previous boss or employee separation or friendship breakup and has made me a stronger person and I can read people better and when I sense and I can smell a narcissist a mile away they already know I'm on to them and they don't mess with me discernment is a real powerful tool as you get older we don't have the choice....anymore..... Just becomes ingrained automatically
Oh the on and off we went through and stuff 🥺 All the abuse lies marriage in another country still manipulation white lies degraded accept it’s not on social media .. just lazy with me sometimes I feel like I was too mean .. and then his mom hurt my feelings but I don’t hate them at all I feel I messed it up.. he’s choked me, strangulated me, raised his hand to me all the time.. he was super love bombing but yeah 😭 he lives at home 29, and I took care of all the family and tried to so hard 🥺
Yes I felt like new and old supply and plus his legal wife in another country still.. I feel they also second guess too 🥺 and then the old kind of probably knows and it’s fine with back. And fourth.. and plus no social media due to his legal wife still.. annulment ugggghh so crazy and hurts but this kind of helps but due to his mom yelling at me it hurts still. I feel they second guess a lot
A relationship with a narcissist is addiction, like drug addiction. Withdrawal symptoms can be severe. Healing requires withdrawal from the "drug" - no communication, not following the narcissist's social media, etc. As the victim heals from his/her addiction, he/she begins to see the world again more realistically. Don't ask why narcissists treat their victims so badly. Ask, why I let others treat myself so badly? Self-reflection is the key to the healing.
Even to think of it I’m laughing and I’m so Glad I’m not the one being beaten physically,emotionally any longer! I Am moving Forward with Narp a way better life.☄️
This is the best healing video! It helps to hear that the narcissist will do the same to the next partner. While we don't wish harm to the next victim, our feelings are validated that we weren't the problem in our relationship. Of course we weren't perfect, but we had both feet in when the narcissist didn't and wasn't ever planning on a committed relationship with us. We will feel better and heal faster when we know it IS going to be the same for the next.. thank you. I feel better already. I just hope it doesn't take her as long as it did me to get out.
Just been left with our 3 year old for someone he is “falling for”. Knew something was wrong when he wasn’t attacking me anymore, felt his energy was elsewhere. Feel like the floor has opened from underneath me. Thanks for helping me see this is just part of a cycle of him getting his needs met.
Thank you so much. My friends did not understand my pain. They told me I should just get over it. I understand he did not love me the way I loved him. He was looking for someone to exploit.
Unless they've been through this particular kind of abuse they will never understand or if they are in it they can't see it. Its so hard to explain it to others...
Unless your friends have been with a narcissist, they will NEVER understand your pain. I know honey, I've been there. I'm nearly 11 years out, but I nearly died. Thank God we are rid of the MONSTER we were with. Don't worry about your friends. YOU TAKE CARE OF YOU! Good luck to you..❤️💙⚘️
My narcissist ex-husband ( surgeon) left 2 months after the death of our only child..Within weeks, he met a nurse 23 yrs his junior...he just moved on..quickly. we were together 23 yrs..didn't know what narcissism was until I watched these videos! He fits the bill to the T. I have heard things aren't working out well for them....oh well..I'm free
@@HelotesHellRaiser not true they meet naive girls online and wine and dine them on expensive dates. The girl trusts them and has sex with them. They propose with old wedding rings and now the girl is hooked. She and her posts on social media their relationship for the world to see having only known each other for weeks to a month.
I was devastated from being discarded but as I was healing from this, I realized that he was actually using me to make the new supply jealous before the discard. I was being hoovered over and over because I didn’t know anything about narcissism and because he was simply a master manipulator. I believe he was a covert and he could absolutely win an academy award with his mask of “warmth, kindness and concern” When I would see the flashes of coldness and feel the subtle energy of sadism and cruelty, I thought my imagination was playing tricks on me and his words would cause me to deny every negative thought about him. It was almost like being under a spell but I in no way excuse my accountability in this. But this new realization of how I was triangulated makes me feel even more foolish.
I know what you mean about being under a spell. I even said it to my girlfriend that was love bombing me. She said, she was Wicken. And a lot of them claim to be witches, so you can see why I really thought I might be under a crazy spell, or 2. One of the most hurtful, degrading, and embarrassing times of my life trying to get though, and over this girl. Props to you for being smart enough to educate yourself, and staying strong. Keep your head up. I bet you'll make it through %100 Stay Vigilant, and keep up the good fight
@@robcroft5132 these people have such a dark energy to them. The times my narc ex would flip out and his eyes/face would go blank, it was like he was being taken over by something, horrible
The narcissist never changes their pattern of behavior Only the new supply source I was recently discarded a few months ago after 4 years with her and it ended up being a nightmare for me. I believe that the only thing that differs is how the new supply handles the situation Are they willing to endure more or less Is their personality and demeanor more sedate and they become an instant doormat or will they fight back But the narcissist will always do the same rotten things to all supply because evilness is the very fiber of who they are
The day I saw the pic of the ex with his new supply was the day I really realised I deserve better. The things she was writing echoed what I had once said. Your videos have helped me so much, I started watching in 2019 and without your teaching I dont think I could write this with confidence. Thank you for all you do 💓🇬🇧🥰💓
I told him to leave, I told him it’s over. I was relieved after he moved out. The only pain I felt was the loss of who he lead me to believe he was. I had to face what it was in me that kept stepping over the many red flags. I don’t regret the time spent in this relationship as it caused me to seek productive counseling and realize so much personal growth & eye opening truths. Growth that has helped me personally, in my relationships & at work 💕
3 months his mask fell off after I moved in after90 days of hell I left the signs were there he told me he didn’t know how to love I was getting devalued etc he had police records 6 kids everywhere in the world make a long story short the new supply moved in paying all the bills I was jealous at first then I snapped out of it Pure hell these people are demons they get worst with every failed supply I thank God I got away before the discard phase keep your head up Narc survivors
Abusers don't change. And if they do it's literally one in a million. Users and takers don't change. I've seen them remain this way well up until their 90's and they are just as abrasive and selfish as ever. They have been that way since a child when they decided to play the victim and forego any caring, love, nurturance or commitment outside of themselves and eventually even to themselves. This is and has always been a choice.
You will notice they always treat the next one ten times better because they need to up their game to keep the next one longer they realize they didn’t try hard enough with the first one they got lazy and also a form to make you jealous they will never give you what you need but everything you want and need they will give to someone else purposely because they know this upsets you to be left out of what you deserved
Wow! This hit me hard! Before watching this i was crying my eyes out for HOURS because the narc snd new supply look so happy on social media. Now i’ve watched this i feel so much better! Thank you so much❤️
@@hopeb.4440 everyone in the tangled web of lies will reap what theyve sown. In my situation it's really bad,what they did to an innocent child is starting to come back because not one of them apologised but instead they've carried on attacking and abusing me over a bunch of lies.
I've watched a lot of your videos in the past week and honestly each one, at some moment, has caused me to cry. There's such a relief in hearing your words, but also a deep sadness. To know there are others that have gone through such pains, to still struggle with it like I am, hurts. I still have issues every single day with thoughts that I'm not a good person, that I'm never genuine or that the kindness I show others isn't for some gain. All because of what he, my abuser, used to tell me. But, everyday that voice gets quieter and my own true self, the one I used to know, grows louder. Thank you so much for these videos, I can't tell you how much they are helping me.
My ex narc was always infatuated with riches. He loved expensive cars, Mansions, clothes, and finally, yachts. He had a LOBSTER appetite, but TUNA FISH pockets! Riches was what he wanted. When I finally left him after a 5 year engagement, he rebounded and married a very WEALTHY woman. He got what he wanted, and that was nearly 11 years ago. I don't know where he is or who he's with, but I guarantee that she has money. What did he see in me?? Since I'm not rich, I believe he took my kindness to him for weakness. 5 years of pure hell and FUTURE FAKING. They are MONSTERS! 😈. I thought he really loved me until I learned about the narc. He almost killed me emotionally, and even physically with severe stomach problems. I'm fine now, thank God! NEVER TAKE A NARC BACK..
Where were you Melanie when my first husband left me for another woman 32 years ago, ( after a secret double life with her for a year) and then sent picture of their glorious wedding on printed on coffie cups that were sent to our child who lived with me? As well as the expensive clothes she bought in Paris and then discarded for my daughter to wear in front of me? Flaunting the new lady in my face through ou daughter. Smearing me to my daughter ( aged 16) and telling her that sex was better with the new lady. This man stil hates me today and has never bene able to tolerate me at graduations , a wedding etc. where both parents need to be present. You are right--someone who cannot love does not all of sudden become capable of love with a new partner. He still has not sought therapy or any other help , so that is his choice. Let go and Let God, but how how awful was this journey of financial abuse, emotional abuse and more. I married another Narc 5 years after the divorce. An opposite type ( first one was passive aggressive and withholding, second one loud and always talking ), yet in the end exhausting , angry immature. What a ride! I a glad it is over.
Thank you so much Melanie ❤️❤️❤️ I’m sure my ex and I looked like a happy couple to the outside world. But it was an emotionally hellish Narc relationship with a communal/covert Narc whose ex wife of 27 years said was violent and cruel but admitted her ( what I know now to be) peptide addiction / trauma bond to him. I feel regret for beleiv8ng him about her and being a flying monkey 😣😣😭.I now understand why he treated me differently and was emotionally / psychologically/ verbally abusive but not physically. Thank you Melanie for putting in the missing pieces of the puzzle. Now I can fully heal 🙏. And I have an apology to make. A huge one.
Idiots on the outside try and take what they know nothing about,I spent hours sorting out support for many things to help our family but his narc family and toxic as hell ex got involved and blew the whole thing up. I walked away cos I'm sick to death of battling his past bs that ruined what he had with me and his child. He had my phone number but instead wrote all over my social media when I put up truth,the other target said she would have done it privately,funny that cos he was given my number and it was still on messages on his mates account. I told her don't come on my page acting all innocent,you knew we had a child. Honestly,the lies are horrific. Not once did he message my number even asking how his child was,after the discard of both of us, then his mates telling me to send our child. I said I'd never send our child into that crazy.
So happy I came across you! My daughter wanted me to go to the bookstore tonight and she took me to the self help section I looked up and there was your book. I sat down and started reading and couldn’t stop. I came home looked up your video. Thank you for your help. I’ve been abused over 32 years. I thought I was not good enough but as I grew up and older I realized that it was abuse. My narcissist husband also was an alcoholic. My story is overwhelming. Myself and my kids were discarded. I always thought narcissist meant bragging about yourself. Once someone sent me what a narcissist was I was blown away how textbook he was. I’m divorcing him now hoping to get through it and let karma to take over
I hope thah you are in better place right now. I am expirience same thing right now. me and my 3 kids was discarted over night. 33 yrs of "narcissisticship" and my daughter literaly woke me up by introducing me term "narcissistic relationship". if there is no knowledge like it was 10-20 yrs ago I wouldnt have a chance to heal because of demage that is caused on my body, mind and soul. now, I have some hope!!! blessings to you and your children. keep on going wherever you are!
When the discard happened to me I said, please go find another (if it hasn't happened already lol) I was so ready to heal. My detachment became my biggest mission to heal. I could care less now who the "False- Self" is with cause I don't want them. Not my reality anymore. I did shift a lot of traumas on this topic.
Thank you for your content Melanie! Fortunately, after 26 years of abuse, I was not in agony when I left, nor am I now learning that my ex is already remarried. The feeling is amazing though I feel sad for him and his new partner and children, watching him unravel is just a little justifying. Keeping no contact and stressing good positive behaviours (for the sake of our grown children) has been my ultimate lifeline. Keep helping others - you are doing great work. You and those like you should get together for a world awareness event. It is time to raise this profile.
Thank you for this! Narcissists are the worst! They are evil and they may or may not even know it (cause in their eyes, it’s all YOU that was the problem!). I am sitting here freshly out of a narcissistic “relationship” on and off the past 3 years and this clown had so many different women! His newest supply hurt me deep because she is a woman on my level, highly educated making money like me. I felt so discarded even though I am the one who cut it off with the narcissist! He is trying to triangulate. I have blocked him on all social media, phone, etc. Even though I am hurt, I also feel this strange sense of relief! That it’s over! That it was never me! He is a sick evil person who will only think of himself and when I am honest with myself, I’m sure he has other supplies he is grooming besides this woman as we speak. Run!
True story. Recently an attractive man approached me and started love bombing me right away. In less then 24 hours he was offering me dates, telling me how beautiful I was, an suggesting we travel together etc. You get the picture. He was tempting. Very quickly I started to recognize how much he was like the last narcissist I was involved with. He even used the exact same words and methods. Thanks to you and bloggers like you I immediately blocked him and have not heard from him again. Whew! I guess the universe was testing me.
Shannon, I felt the same way, but remember, it WON'T last. The narcissist is NOT capable of love. That "love bombing" is just the beginning of the end. IT WON'T LAST..Take care of yourself. He is a DEMON! ❤️❤️⚘️
Love this woman...she doesn't make you feel the fool, for committing a foolish act. She's able to put the missing puzzle pieces in place to let you see what an amazing picture you present...piece, by piece.
This explains it all so exactly well. The energy spent on seeking out information regarding the new supply. It is draining. I had no idea what the phases were, but know now that I am able to focus on self-healing. Thank you so much for these videos!
13 years of abuse. Amazing love bombing. I feel so sorry now for his ex wife an her pain with 3 children!!! I have been free of narcissistic husband for 9 mo now. It is a difficult journey of healing an he was the worst sexual partner I ever had :-0 but it still hurts to have been used for so long. Your 1st video was sent to me over a year ago somehow thru Facebook an I started my research on narcissism an the reality that I was married to one!!!! He is currently threatening to cut off all my money an have me evicted from the house if I try to divorce him! I’m moving ahead with divorce an trusting God will provide all my needs. I’ve saved as much money as I could and I’m praying the judges see my favor after 5 restraining orders an emails with horrific verbal an emotional abuse! Thank you for starting me on the road to healing. Much love Theresa! ❤️
All your videos have helped me so much! I feel myself getting stronger everyday and this feeling feels so good! I no longer have the feeling of being overwhelmed or concerned about what's going on with my ex narcissist.
I refuse to go back. I will make sure i make myself strong. I hope it lasts and I am not ever going to be a back up narcissistic supply. No such thing as a good relationship with a narcissist.
Right now, I'm in a place where I've been through the discard and having past and co occuring supply thrown in my face, along with new supply during/after the discard. Melanie, I've even experienced this from my father who had this "adopted" son he would spend time with. At first I thought it was nice -- after all the guy was autistic... But calling him in front of me at one point this past summer was enough (along with so many other red flags) to let me know he was a true narcissist. Admittedly, my brain is trying to go places to numb this reality. In any event, I say a prayer to take heed to this video and remember what it is like. I *never* intend to put up with narcissist abuse again. However, I'm aware of the reality that it feels like I am encountering them every where I turn... And that if I do get caught up, especially by a covert narcissist, I see it faster and walk away faster. I heard a quote I forgot by whom but it goes: "Be careful when you meet someone who feels like 'home, when 'home' wasn't a safe place for you" To me that quote sends shivers down my spine, because that seems to be the story of nearly every relationship or "best friend" I've ever had. How can I break this pattern? I am nearly terrified of getting close with anyone again, so I feel very isolated. Thank you so much ❤️🙏
Hi ERF, I'm happy to help. I recommend you take my free online workshop to help you put these pieces together. You will know what to do next. You can use this link: melanietoniaevans.com/freewebinar Love and blessings xoxox
Currently pregnant and my narc ex fiance put his hands on me at 3 months so I left him. He spent about a month sending long messages every couple of days and telling me he was sorry often. Then about a month after when I came to get mail he'd already gotten back with his ex and moved her in. I'm so happy I got out and that I'm healing it doesnt even hurt anymore just something I think about from time to time cause it still baffles me that people that evil actually exist.
@@brendarewan7441 that's true but was my first time experiencing energy that dark, so it confused me. I'm careful to stay away from it now. Got married to literally the most amazing man ever this year and I'm living my best life now.
He's too old now for a new supply replacement, shes 22 years younger than him, he thinks he hit the jackpot. They both cheated to be together. 2 narcs together.
2 narcs together will not work. I've read about that bcse I wondered if my ex married a RICH narc. I don't believe they are doing too good together. Besides, who cares? They're gone from our lives!
My ex narc is with the NS that he cheated on me with. They have been together for about 2 years now. I believe that she is also a narc and I picture them staying together for a long time. She caters to him and tolerates his abuse because she has no self esteem and she needs him to help her financially. He will stay because he can't handle being alone for any length of time and he can be abusive to her and she will reward him with sex regardless. She is a downgrade on many levels and he is miserable but will keep up the illusion because he is getting the attention and sex that are the main fuels that he needs in order to feel that his needs are being met in order for him to stay with her. It's a very dysfunctional relationship and I'm just glad that they are with each other and not damaging a truly good person's life with their toxicity.
Diane Tracey oh I see. I was just curious. It’s like my soon to be ex Narc husband has dropped off the face of the earth.... a friend of mine went on his FB page just to lurk and she told me that his last post was Nov 11th. I told her he probably has his page on private Im quite sure. She says the predator friends list is 98% women. I can’t wait to start this divorce. My discard was September 21st and NC since October 23rd. Court ordered NC due to a 2 time domestic violence abuse issue with me, not including a history of it throughout 30 years of his life. I’m wife 5....🤮
@@valariemundy2012 one of my best friends who is married to my ex narc's best friend. I met her and her husband through my ex and we spent alot of time together as couples throughout the 8 years that I was with my ex. She has seen alot and her and I have remained close friends after I discarded him. Her husband knows that we are still very good friends and I have no problem with her husband. I don't ever speak about my ex in front of her husband and she doesn't share with her husband discussions that her and I have about the narc and his NS. She knows certain things about their relationship aka illusion as the ex narc and his NS do occasionally spend time with them and go camping with them. She doesn't like the NS and neither does her husband but they tolerate her because of the long time friendship that they have with my ex. I rarely bring them up in conversation with her as I discarded him over 2 years ago and have been no contact for over a year. The only time they come up in conversation is because of the NS and her unhealthy obsession and jealousy over me. She is extremely insecure and views me as a threat even though I have never given her a reason to feel that way. I believe that he is triangulating her and targeting her insecurities as a form of abuse. He has told his friends and the NS that I will always be the love of his life and he would come back to me in a second if I ever wanted to be back with him. I can only hope that he holds his breath while he waits for that moment that will never ever happen. I'm happy to be narc free and I believe that the downgraded NS is his karma.
Thank you !!!!! You have been an true angel in my healing journey and are absolutely right with the new suppy my ex husband new suppy is a absolute nightmare just how I used to be when we were married a ragging nightmare. I actually feel sorry for her.... and so the nightmare lives on in her now!!!
Thank you so much for this video. I was discarded 2 of Jan after setting bounderies. 2 days later i was replaced with an another women... i really need this video right now. thank you.
So sad that the new supply has no clue what they are about to endure. Knowing that someone else will get tortured is difficult intel to carry. I wish I wasn’t so empathetic!
Thank you Melanie, this video is very helpful. I am healing and moving forward but yes he has a new supply and the illusion of it has been bothering me terribly especially since she is doing more with my children and is now going to family events it’s just very real that it’s over but I know it is a blessing but just dealing with the pain and thank you thank you it’s a great video! Blessings and love and light! ✨🌞🙌
I divorced my ex 9 years ago after 16 yers together. He left me for a uni-student and has divorced her already and now has moved in with my ex best friend (she's a severe co-dependant). I remain single to this day in fear of meeting another narcissist, Everything in your video is my ex to a tee - however I didn't realise there were 3 levels to narcissism. I feel like a load has lifted from me all these years later learning about Cerebral High Functioning Narcissism. Gratitude - Ill be passing this video onto Wife No 2 and another of my friends who has been through divorce courts for EIGHT years with a HFC Narcissist. Wow!
Hun, I'd love you to check out my free 16 Day Course. There is no need to live in fear of narcissists. My Course is a great place to begin working on this and stepping forward powerfully in your new life of freedom. www.youcanthriveprogram.com/freecourse Love and blessings xoxox
Our 15 year old daughter got involved with a class B personality. I think he is more than a narc but a social path. He loved bomb her big time, lied about his age, he was 18. He quit his job to groom her full time. He would take up every minute of her day. Once we set boundaries and she turned 16 he made her choose her family, friends and interest, her horse over him. We tried to speak to his mother but she was a narcissist herself and her son could do know wrong. He was extremely abusive to us, would fight her male friends. I saw my beautiful daughter change from a happy healthy girl to a girl who started pulling her hair out, extreme weight loss, she would rock herself back and forth. Extreme emotional breakdowns, she started shaking all the time. As her mom it was so difficult, she would cover for him, make excuses for his bad behaviour. After 2 years she finally got the strength to leave him. It's been a year now and she is just starting to feel and act like her old self. She graduated, got a job. She got her license and bought a car. This kid still calls her from blocked number to say he loves her, or hates her. He has a new girlfriend since May but still will not stop his calling, threatening any new boys she goes out with on dates. He keyed my daughters car last week and put sugar in her gas tank. He also tried to run me off the road with his car. After this he had the nerve to send nudes to our daughter saying he loved her and wanted to pick her up so they could get married! 🤪 I was so proud of her she said he'll no sent the nudes and texts of his to his new supply. We have installed security cameras around our property as he comes around late at night to do his dirty work. Hope we get the proof we need to hopefully put an end to his abusive ways, they never stop trying to hurt you. Healing is a journey, it will take time but you will get stronger. Once you realize and learn all you can about class B people you will never allow someone to do this to you again. Stay strong Empaths!
When you said self-medicating that was the key word for me and also what you said about them cruelly flaunting the new/old supply in your face and overly making it seem picture prefect and you're sitting there like why would you even be doing that no real genuine person would even do that to an ex or especially play with somebody's emotions time over time let's just say I found out some information via internet and this is the last straw for me not getting stucked back in when the fake emergencys I need you right now text and calls come ❌❌❌
This video could not have come at a better time. It has been about 8 months since I found out about the new supply. He posted their pictures on his FB profile, which he has never done before. Her birthday is coming up this Sunday, and Im feeling jealous that he may do something really romantic for her and make it a special day for her. Im going back and forth in my head, on one hand Im relieved that this no good loser is out of my life, and thank ful for the new supply, on the other hand Im starting to feel a sick feeling of jealousy with her bitthday coming up😔
My ex never wanted to post pictures of us on social media. Once he found someone 20 years younger, every picture was of the two of them. Its a big illusion. Dont buy into it.
hi Mel! I’ve been listening to you for about five years. You’ve helped me through so much. I was in a relationship with a man who is verbally and emotionally and sometimes physically abusive. I had been in a long-term relationship like that before which lasted 20 years. I grew up in a very volatile household with lots of fighting and yelling. I am now in a relationship with a very healthy man. After listening to this video I am afraid that it may be me that is the narcissist. I feel like I need lots of approval and admiration. I am having a hard time relaxing and just loving him. It’s scaring me a bit, is there hope for me?
Melanie Tonia Evans ❤️ Oh Melanie, thank you so much. That really helped. So many times you post something that is exactly what I needed to hear. I do feel like I’m evolving. I really don’t think I could have gotten here without you. Just to have a place to go when I need strength and calm and positivity and I can visit your UA-cam channel A million thanks!!!
Thank you for what you do Melanie. You are changing my life. God bless you for your good works. You are saving victims of NPD and you are exceptionally compassionate and authentic Your knowledge about NPD and how you deliver each topic you present has helped me, my healing begins from within and you have been my life line to reach in to find my true self.
Why do they jump from person to person within days and then claim it’s serious and rush into marriage after only a few months? So hard to protect kids involved.
I have both of them blocked and have had for over a year. Although I keep looking at the blocked profile pictures to see if they're married yet. Deep down I know he's just using her as servants service while I was used as a stepping stone to get him where he wanted to go in life ( I'm still reaping the financial repercussions) and that if he can treat me with such contempt... he has it built into his character enough that he'll treat others/new supply the same way. But there's still that part of me that just thinks that she's going to get the best ( of which I never did get much of, more the idealization/ future faking). He told me in the end how he now has all the things that he withheld from me such as time, money, someone to leave things to ( his debt lol) when he dies, etc...He is 54 and she is literally half his age. They've been together for over a year now and she just looks so happy and sweet in the blocked profile picture. I stay away/ no contact as I know that that is wrong for me ( as I deserve better) and them. He now has a place of his own and I know he's not accountable enough to take care of his new house or our dog he took from me (one of his forms of punishment to me) by himself ( he has 3 dwi's, is alcoholic and a job hopper) so he has to have someone to help him out. I didn't have any family so he got away with treating me poorly for way too long. I had to file to have him evicted from my home it got so bad..major narc injury, but with her he has plenty of extra supply because she has a lot of family. So I think that if he treats her poorly her family is gonna stand up for her. I never had that kind of support! So does that mean he won't do anything to her? I mean I hate to wish bad on others but I want other people to see him for what he really is. I pray that God give her wisdom and discernment. I'm still alone and he deserves to be alone forever as he is a soul sapping monster that knows that I know what he is ( covert narcissist) so he hates me for fear of exposure of which I know better as its not worth the drama and narcs are pathological liars that set up old used up supply premeditatively so with their reactive abuse of which I fell for one too many times before I was just exhausted and had enough.
All I've seen is one photo wear he looks like he's up to something devilish and another where he is mirroring her. I see it clear as day now,the smoke and mirrors. It was somehow different with me,he rarely mirrored me but instead continually tried to work me out and then awhile ago stole my identity. It's hard to explain to other people so I just don't bother now,I know what happened and I understand who did what and why because I observed it all. It's like hell on earth with that lot,his lot are definitely not my sort of people but after all this abuse and mind games,it's shown me so much about who and what the majority of people in this life are.....cowards and followers of lies.
This video is very educational, helpful and informative thank you for sharing your video. This is how I get through my healing is by listening to these videos.
What If they were friends with the new supply for many years and are now claiming they realize she is the one and they are right for each other and are extremely happy?
Had this ACTUALLY happen the same way. She told me she had been friends with him for years but I never really had any suspicion or thoughts about questioning anything about that. I was happy she had friends cause she told me about how hurtful her marraige and divorce was and an alleged boyfriend previously that tried to take her lug nuts off her truck. She thinks I'm jealous if her supply but I think I've caught on and got discarded for now. Cause she recently talked to me after telling me not too. I guess I'm part of that same cycle! Sucks.and honestly in my heart I trusted this gal. It makes it hard cause I never guessed she would pull it on me like that. I just never seen it coming.
He is nice to her because he learned it from me. Together after 2 years and still happy. It happens. And oh he is a real diagnosted narc not the hip version
How do you know how happy they are? Me and my ex narc seemed happy after years too, nobody knew how I had developed depression, daily anxiety and panic, no one knew how drained and frustrated I was. It was all for the show. We went out as a happy couple but I was a living zombie.
My narc con man never posts pictures of woman on his Facebook he doesn't want anyone to know he's with a partner. One time I posted our wedding photo and he deleted it red flag I should have seen but he's good at gaslighting.
My ex narc married his new supply. A 25 year old. He is 54. He has always been a perfert. 15 months of no contact and i never heard from him again. I am done and over it.
i was looking around at my wife's social media, i think it was tumblr, not sure how, where she said, "hope you're not like me, let the perfect tall dark handsome get away, she was actually referring to a bartender she had a one night with when she went out and didn't come home. I put it down to just saying silly things, now i find out she is a narcissist. What a cruel thing to say in public forums etc.
Good afternoon to you from Palmerston North New Zealand. I remember that you said that Tiffy has only one eye now and become a pirate. Does this mean that you have set the Jolly Roger for him with scull and cross bones. Does he have buried treasure in the back yard. Also does he have a ration of rum??
Urrrgh I’ve just had a 3 yr hoovering by my narc. 3 months ago someone else became his supply and I’ve been kicked into touch. Agaaaiiin! Why do they have such a hold over us?
Hun, the answer here is that there is a real trauma bond and those are very hard to sever. The way through this is to detach completely and come inside to tend to the traumas in you, and these can be subconscious and we cannot know what those are until we do the work on the soul level. My free 16 Day course can help you to do this sweetheart, and I'd love for you to come on in whenever you feel ready to: melanietoniaevans.com/freecourse Love and blessings xoxox
Thank you sweetie! I've told how the cow ate the cabbage and how the horse ate the apple!!I cut them off my money,Codependenty he is, we are like room mates , I wish he would leave, I would but do have funding nor a ride! I stand boldly on my boundaries.thank you sweetie!! Blessings!!!🙋🙋😘😘🙏🙏👣🤗😊.I also told him get another tired of his bullshit of 15yrs the last 4 yrs has been hell.and still keep prayers going up! I also told him I forgive him , not for him but for me!!!🙏🙏🙏😘😘🙋🙋👣👣🤗😊Independence Baby!!Love myself#1
What to do when he keep going back-and-forth Between me and his ex He tells is X lies and she Sees the proof on my phone and still will take him back They have broken up 9 times in this year Will come and tell me it's over for good weather and then I find out they're talking again and I'm the one that gets left and on the 1 telling the truth
My ex "girlfirend" even though we were never really a couple, used to always forbid me from hanging out with my friends saying things like "who's more important" and also forbid me from doing hobbies by saying I was being a jerk by "not putting her first." Whenever I would have enough sand say I wanted to leave she would always try and form up some kind of army against me. I would just submissively agree and say I'm sorry for letting you down, all just to keep the peace. I also believed I belonged with her. Now she thinks I'm a loser for not getting"back with her" and is trying to turn all of my friends against me. Shes always saying I'll never find someone like her , but that's the point. What kind of stupid idiot was I. I have so much self hate now.
What if they get into an arranged marriage :/ Wouldn’t they have WAY more incentive to treat their new partner well this time since families and pressure from society is involved...
When you see the narc with the new supply and all appears well. Remember that was you in the lovebomb phase. Now remember all the tourment you went through, that's where their headed next. 🙂
paulzedx636 ninja true!
So true we were all once the new supply x
No rral narcs are happy and adhust to the new one
@@Alieortwo they're HAPPY with the new one??
the hard truth.
Once we understand that they are incapable of loving us and that everything was a lie, it hurts, but it's the start of the healing process. Stay strong, you will get there 💪
well said.,it hurts now but I know I will get through this😭
Very true
Incapable of loving anyone in fact
We broke up 1 year ago and now hes getting married and showing of his new girl. He treated me so badly during our 17years together and now marries so fast.
Thats where I am now. Pray for me
There is NO real happiness with a narcissist and for a narcissist! Count your blessings if the narcissist has replaced you with new supply. And pray for the new supply although they have to the learn the lessons like you did. Queen Melanie speaks facts again as usual 💖 go within!
They are happy with the right one .
For them..
Funny enough me and another guy who dated my ex all within the same year we both got discarded by her little did I know she had her main supply a man she has been knowing since high school well this man seems to be a fool for her game he probably doesn’t want to be alone and as far as I know her friend said she leaves him for a week and goes right back to him blames him for everything and always talks about what he doesn’t do for her her game was running short in she realized she was running out of supply within that couple of years and finally people caught on to her BS she finally did whatever to remain with the guy she has been with on and off I guess he finally gave him what he deserved or he just gave into her BS and decided to just deal with her crap who knows maybe not maybe he just doesn’t want to be alone maybe he is a narcissist just like her which is what I suspect more of but he does look like a fool and I can tell from a few pics the evil in his eyes so I guess they should just stick with each other then because they are just destroying others lives and waisting others time with their little games they play with each other and other people it’s all so confusing but I’m sure they confuse each other on a daily basis 🤪
I always say who am I to stop that lesson. They will see
@@Alieortwo what do you mean? Another narc partner??
@Ytdeletesallmycomments 😂🤣😂🤣 Narcissist ARE NEVER HAPPY… stop lying they always end up bored, hating the supply and cheating with anybody with a heart beat
Sometimes the new supply is old supply going through the cycle again
Help them Lord. Who would want to go thru that AGAIN!
such a good point! because they do not connect (and do not know who you are, but have only snapshot of you) you can be old and new supply trough many many cycles. I was old and new supply for decades while he has also old nad new supply outside of our marriage. final discard of me was made after 33 yrs of narccisticship after I was in process of understanding the narcissism for 3 yrs...final discard happens 3 months ago...although I am learning for 3 yrs now with whom I shared my life with, I am still in terrible pain and feel like my healing process just started.
I was one of those. I came back because I felt I had nothing else and nowhere to go if I could do it all over again I wouldn't have come back a second time because they discarded me the second time because I discarded them the first time my empathic ability drew me back to them to believe in the goodness that they could possess but I had to go through the fire and the loss and humiliation to finally accept that the only reason they hoovered me back was to have the last word in essence it has brought me peace because there is no third time doesn't matter if it's court documents or family estrangement previous boss or employee separation or friendship breakup and has made me a stronger person and I can read people better and when I sense and I can smell a narcissist a mile away they already know I'm on to them and they don't mess with me discernment is a real powerful tool as you get older we don't have the choice....anymore..... Just becomes ingrained automatically
Oh the on and off we went through and stuff 🥺
All the abuse lies marriage in another country still manipulation white lies degraded accept it’s not on social media .. just lazy with me sometimes I feel like I was too mean .. and then his mom hurt my feelings but I don’t hate them at all I feel I messed it up.. he’s choked me, strangulated me, raised his hand to me all the time.. he was super love bombing but yeah 😭 he lives at home 29, and I took care of all the family and tried to so hard 🥺
Yes I felt like new and old supply and plus his legal wife in another country still.. I feel they also second guess too 🥺 and then the old kind of probably knows and it’s fine with back. And fourth.. and plus no social media due to his legal wife still.. annulment ugggghh so crazy and hurts but this kind of helps but due to his mom yelling at me it hurts still. I feel they second guess a lot
A relationship with a narcissist is addiction, like drug addiction. Withdrawal symptoms can be severe. Healing requires withdrawal from the "drug" - no communication, not following the narcissist's social media, etc. As the victim heals from his/her addiction, he/she begins to see the world again more realistically.
Don't ask why narcissists treat their victims so badly. Ask, why I let others treat myself so badly? Self-reflection is the key to the healing.
Even to think of it I’m laughing and I’m so Glad I’m not the one being beaten physically,emotionally any longer! I Am moving Forward with Narp a way better life.☄️
This is the best healing video! It helps to hear that the narcissist will do the same to the next partner. While we don't wish harm to the next victim, our feelings are validated that we weren't the problem in our relationship. Of course we weren't perfect, but we had both feet in when the narcissist didn't and wasn't ever planning on a committed relationship with us. We will feel better and heal faster when we know it IS going to be the same for the next.. thank you. I feel better already. I just hope it doesn't take her as long as it did me to get out.
Just been left with our 3 year old for someone he is “falling for”. Knew something was wrong when he wasn’t attacking me anymore, felt his energy was elsewhere. Feel like the floor has opened from underneath me. Thanks for helping me see this is just part of a cycle of him getting his needs met.
Thank you so much. My friends did not understand my pain. They told me I should just get over it. I understand he did not love me the way I loved him. He was looking for someone to exploit.
My friends tell me the same
Unless they've been through this particular kind of abuse they will never understand or if they are in it they can't see it. Its so hard to explain it to others...
Unless your friends have been with a narcissist, they will NEVER understand your pain. I know honey, I've been there. I'm nearly 11 years out, but I nearly died. Thank God we are rid of the MONSTER we were with. Don't worry about your friends. YOU TAKE CARE OF YOU! Good luck to you..❤️💙⚘️
My narcissist ex-husband ( surgeon) left 2 months after the death of our only child..Within weeks, he met a nurse 23 yrs his junior...he just moved on..quickly. we were together 23 yrs..didn't know what narcissism was until I watched these videos! He fits the bill to the T. I have heard things aren't working out well for them....oh well..I'm free
He may have already been with her that's why they move on so quickly
My mantra is “ well she’s got him now!”
Saying this helps me💞
@@HelotesHellRaiser not true they meet naive girls online and wine and dine them on expensive dates. The girl trusts them and has sex with them. They propose with old wedding rings and now the girl is hooked. She and her posts on social media their relationship for the world to see having only known each other for weeks to a month.
Sorry to hear
@@sierushest1991 yep. My ex narc gave me an old wedding ring
A leopard never changes his spots.
So true
OR IN MY CASE"HERS".
Nah they are happy
Catlady - your name says it all!
I was devastated from being discarded but as I was healing from this, I realized that he was actually using me to make the new supply jealous before the discard. I was being hoovered over and over because I didn’t know anything about narcissism and because he was simply a master manipulator. I believe he was a covert and he could absolutely win an academy award with his mask of “warmth, kindness and concern”
When I would see the flashes of coldness and feel the subtle energy of sadism and cruelty, I thought my imagination was playing tricks on me and his words would cause me to deny every negative thought about him. It was almost like being under a spell but I in no way excuse my accountability in this.
But this new realization of how I was triangulated makes me feel even more foolish.
Hey Elle_H, I can understand your feelings completely but be kind to yourself. You aren’t foolish you were fooled!
Your so much wiser now. Be happy for that and the fact you will never be a target again.
I know what you mean about being under a spell. I even said it to my girlfriend that was love bombing me. She said, she was Wicken. And a lot of them claim to be witches, so you can see why I really thought I might be under a crazy spell, or 2.
One of the most hurtful, degrading, and embarrassing times of my life trying to get though, and over this girl.
Props to you for being smart enough to educate yourself, and staying strong.
Keep your head up. I bet you'll make it through %100
Stay Vigilant, and keep up the good fight
@@robcroft5132 these people have such a dark energy to them. The times my narc ex would flip out and his eyes/face would go blank, it was like he was being taken over by something, horrible
Yes sometimes this 😩🥺
Thank you! Narcissism is a spiritual phenomenon based in trauma.
The narcissist never changes their pattern of behavior
Only the new supply source
I was recently discarded a few months ago after 4 years with her and it ended up being a nightmare for me. I believe that the only thing that differs is how the new supply handles the situation
Are they willing to endure more or less
Is their personality and demeanor more sedate and they become an instant doormat or will they fight back
But the narcissist will always do the same rotten things to all supply because evilness is the very fiber of who they are
The day I saw the pic of the ex with his new supply was the day I really realised I deserve better.
The things she was writing echoed what
I had once said.
Your videos have helped me so much, I started watching in 2019 and without your teaching I dont think I could write this with confidence.
Thank you for all you do 💓🇬🇧🥰💓
It gives me relief to find out that he's doing her the same way.
I told him to leave, I told him it’s over. I was relieved after he moved out. The only pain I felt was the loss of who he lead me to believe he was. I had to face what it was in me that kept stepping over the many red flags. I don’t regret the time spent in this relationship as it caused me to seek productive counseling and realize so much personal growth & eye opening truths. Growth that has helped me personally, in my relationships & at work 💕
3 months his mask fell off after I moved in after90 days of hell I left the signs were there he told me he didn’t know how to love I was getting devalued etc he had police records 6 kids everywhere in the world make a long story short the new supply moved in paying all the bills I was jealous at first then I snapped out of it Pure hell these people are demons they get worst with every failed supply I thank God I got away before the discard phase keep your head up Narc survivors
Wow. He had her paying bills. Bless her heart
Abusers don't change. And if they do it's literally one in a million. Users and takers don't change. I've seen them remain this way well up until their 90's and they are just as abrasive and selfish as ever. They have been that way since a child when they decided to play the victim and forego any caring, love, nurturance or commitment outside of themselves and eventually even to themselves. This is and has always been a choice.
You will notice they always treat the next one ten times better because they need to up their game to keep the next one longer they realize they didn’t try hard enough with the first one they got lazy and also a form to make you jealous they will never give you what you need but everything you want and need they will give to someone else purposely because they know this upsets you to be left out of what you deserved
That’s why no contact is a must
Wow! This hit me hard! Before watching this i was crying my eyes out for HOURS because the narc snd new supply look so happy on social media. Now i’ve watched this i feel so much better! Thank you so much❤️
They not happy believe me
@@hopeb.4440 everyone in the tangled web of lies will reap what theyve sown. In my situation it's really bad,what they did to an innocent child is starting to come back because not one of them apologised but instead they've carried on attacking and abusing me over a bunch of lies.
your voice feels good speaking in my house. soothing. very insightful as well.
I've watched a lot of your videos in the past week and honestly each one, at some moment, has caused me to cry. There's such a relief in hearing your words, but also a deep sadness. To know there are others that have gone through such pains, to still struggle with it like I am, hurts. I still have issues every single day with thoughts that I'm not a good person, that I'm never genuine or that the kindness I show others isn't for some gain. All because of what he, my abuser, used to tell me. But, everyday that voice gets quieter and my own true self, the one I used to know, grows louder. Thank you so much for these videos, I can't tell you how much they are helping me.
Yasssssssss
My ex narc was always infatuated with riches. He loved expensive cars, Mansions, clothes, and finally, yachts. He had a LOBSTER appetite, but TUNA FISH pockets! Riches was what he wanted. When I finally left him after a 5 year engagement, he rebounded and married a very WEALTHY woman. He got what he wanted, and that was nearly 11 years ago. I don't know where he is or who he's with, but I guarantee that she has money. What did he see in me?? Since I'm not rich, I believe he took my kindness to him for weakness. 5 years of pure hell and FUTURE FAKING. They are MONSTERS! 😈. I thought he really loved me until I learned about the narc. He almost killed me emotionally, and even physically with severe stomach problems. I'm fine now, thank God! NEVER TAKE A NARC BACK..
Where were you Melanie when my first husband left me for another woman 32 years ago, ( after a secret double life with her for a year) and then sent picture of their glorious wedding on printed on coffie cups that were sent to our child who lived with me? As well as the expensive clothes she bought in Paris and then discarded for my daughter to wear in front of me? Flaunting the new lady in my face through ou daughter. Smearing me to my daughter ( aged 16) and telling her that sex was better with the new lady. This man stil hates me today and has never bene able to tolerate me at graduations , a wedding etc. where both parents need to be present. You are right--someone who cannot love does not all of sudden become capable of love with a new partner. He still has not sought therapy or any other help , so that is his choice. Let go and Let God, but how how awful was this journey of financial abuse, emotional abuse and more. I married another Narc 5 years after the divorce. An opposite type ( first one was passive aggressive and withholding, second one loud and always talking ), yet in the end exhausting , angry immature. What a ride! I a glad it is over.
Thank you so much Melanie ❤️❤️❤️
I’m sure my ex and I looked like a happy couple to the outside world. But it was an emotionally hellish Narc relationship with a communal/covert Narc whose ex wife of 27 years said was violent and cruel but admitted her ( what I know now to be) peptide addiction / trauma bond to him. I feel regret for beleiv8ng him about her and being a flying monkey 😣😣😭.I now understand why he treated me differently and was emotionally / psychologically/ verbally abusive but not physically. Thank you Melanie for putting in the missing pieces of the puzzle. Now I can fully heal 🙏. And I have an apology to make. A huge one.
Idiots on the outside try and take what they know nothing about,I spent hours sorting out support for many things to help our family but his narc family and toxic as hell ex got involved and blew the whole thing up. I walked away cos I'm sick to death of battling his past bs that ruined what he had with me and his child. He had my phone number but instead wrote all over my social media when I put up truth,the other target said she would have done it privately,funny that cos he was given my number and it was still on messages on his mates account. I told her don't come on my page acting all innocent,you knew we had a child. Honestly,the lies are horrific. Not once did he message my number even asking how his child was,after the discard of both of us, then his mates telling me to send our child. I said I'd never send our child into that crazy.
My ones ex is a jealous up her own arse type,she doesn't want him but she sure made it clear she was going to ,ake it difficult for us.
So happy I came across you! My daughter wanted me to go to the bookstore tonight and she took me to the self help section I looked up and there was your book. I sat down and started reading and couldn’t stop. I came home looked up your video. Thank you for your help. I’ve been abused over 32 years. I thought I was not good enough but as I grew up and older I realized that it was abuse. My narcissist husband also was an alcoholic. My story is overwhelming. Myself and my kids were discarded. I always thought narcissist meant bragging about yourself. Once someone sent me what a narcissist was I was blown away how textbook he was. I’m divorcing him now hoping to get through it and let karma to take over
I hope thah you are in better place right now. I am expirience same thing right now. me and my 3 kids was discarted over night. 33 yrs of "narcissisticship" and my daughter literaly woke me up by introducing me term "narcissistic relationship". if there is no knowledge like it was 10-20 yrs ago I wouldnt have a chance to heal because of demage that is caused on my body, mind and soul. now, I have some hope!!! blessings to you and your children. keep on going wherever you are!
When the discard happened to me I said, please go find another (if it hasn't happened already lol) I was so ready to heal. My detachment became my biggest mission to heal. I could care less now who the "False- Self" is with cause I don't want them. Not my reality anymore. I did shift a lot of traumas on this topic.
Thank you for your content Melanie! Fortunately, after 26 years of abuse, I was not in agony when I left, nor am I now learning that my ex is already remarried. The feeling is amazing though I feel sad for him and his new partner and children, watching him unravel is just a little justifying. Keeping no contact and stressing good positive behaviours (for the sake of our grown children) has been my ultimate lifeline. Keep helping others - you are doing great work. You and those like you should get together for a world awareness event. It is time to raise this profile.
Omg. This video really allowed me to see the Covert Narcissist in a new light. Thanks for sharing 👍
Thank you for this! Narcissists are the worst! They are evil and they may or may not even know it (cause in their eyes, it’s all YOU that was the problem!). I am sitting here freshly out of a narcissistic “relationship” on and off the past 3 years and this clown had so many different women! His newest supply hurt me deep because she is a woman on my level, highly educated making money like me. I felt so discarded even though I am the one who cut it off with the narcissist! He is trying to triangulate. I have blocked him on all social media, phone, etc. Even though I am hurt, I also feel this strange sense of relief! That it’s over! That it was never me! He is a sick evil person who will only think of himself and when I am honest with myself, I’m sure he has other supplies he is grooming besides this woman as we speak. Run!
Sarah, you are so welcome. Love to you xoxox
True story. Recently an attractive man approached me and started love bombing me right away. In less then 24 hours he was offering me dates, telling me how beautiful I was, an suggesting we travel together etc. You get the picture. He was tempting. Very quickly I started to recognize how much he was like the last narcissist I was involved with. He even used the exact same words and methods. Thanks to you and bloggers like you I immediately blocked him and have not heard from him again. Whew! I guess the universe was testing me.
Demons are lurking everywhere like a lion seeking whom he may devour. Bible.
This has been very comforting to hear. I’m 1 month post discard and he has a new supply that he’s love bombing. It’s devastating,
Shannon, I felt the same way, but remember, it WON'T last. The narcissist is NOT capable of love. That "love bombing" is just the beginning of the end. IT WON'T LAST..Take care of yourself. He is a DEMON! ❤️❤️⚘️
Enjoying my freedom and dont give a shit what the narc and his new supply are upto. Misery loves company
Very well said..Excellent explanation of the insidious nature of the narcissist.
Love this woman...she doesn't make you feel the fool, for committing a foolish act. She's able to put the missing puzzle pieces in place to let you see what an amazing picture you present...piece, by piece.
This explains it all so exactly well. The energy spent on seeking out information regarding the new supply. It is draining. I had no idea what the phases were, but know now that I am able to focus on self-healing. Thank you so much for these videos!
Woke up to this Nightmare yesterday.... I crashed on the Floor.... This has truly Help. As I highly believe that this is True!!!
13 years of abuse. Amazing love bombing. I feel so sorry now for his ex wife an her pain with 3 children!!! I have been free of narcissistic husband for 9 mo now. It is a difficult journey of healing an he was the worst sexual partner I ever had :-0 but it still hurts to have been used for so long. Your 1st video was sent to me over a year ago somehow thru Facebook an I started my research on narcissism an the reality that I was married to one!!!! He is currently threatening to cut off all my money an have me evicted from the house if I try to divorce him! I’m moving ahead with divorce an trusting God will provide all my needs. I’ve saved as much money as I could and I’m praying the judges see my favor after 5 restraining orders an emails with horrific verbal an emotional abuse! Thank you for starting me on the road to healing. Much love Theresa! ❤️
Theresa Cole step out on faith..
How narcissist threat their new supply? Just as they treated the ones before the new relationship.
All your videos have helped me so much! I feel myself getting stronger everyday and this feeling feels so good! I no longer have the feeling of being overwhelmed or concerned about what's going on with my ex narcissist.
I thank you for your help. I am also pleased to seel that pussycat is still on the scene.
I refuse to go back. I will make sure i make myself strong. I hope it lasts and I am not ever going to be a back up narcissistic supply. No such thing as a good relationship with a narcissist.
JEN. NEVER TAKE A NARC BACK! It gets worse and you don't need that! Take care..❤️
Right now, I'm in a place where I've been through the discard and having past and co occuring supply thrown in my face, along with new supply during/after the discard.
Melanie, I've even experienced this from my father who had this "adopted" son he would spend time with. At first I thought it was nice -- after all the guy was autistic... But calling him in front of me at one point this past summer was enough (along with so many other red flags) to let me know he was a true narcissist. Admittedly, my brain is trying to go places to numb this reality.
In any event, I say a prayer to take heed to this video and remember what it is like. I *never* intend to put up with narcissist abuse again. However, I'm aware of the reality that it feels like I am encountering them every where I turn... And that if I do get caught up, especially by a covert narcissist, I see it faster and walk away faster.
I heard a quote I forgot by whom but it goes:
"Be careful when you meet someone who feels like 'home, when 'home' wasn't a safe place for you"
To me that quote sends shivers down my spine, because that seems to be the story of nearly every relationship or "best friend" I've ever had. How can I break this pattern? I am nearly terrified of getting close with anyone again, so I feel very isolated.
Thank you so much ❤️🙏
Hi ERF,
I'm happy to help. I recommend you take my free online workshop to help you put these pieces together. You will know what to do next. You can use this link: melanietoniaevans.com/freewebinar Love and blessings xoxox
@@MelanieToniaEvans thank you so much 💚❤️💛
Currently pregnant and my narc ex fiance put his hands on me at 3 months so I left him. He spent about a month sending long messages every couple of days and telling me he was sorry often. Then about a month after when I came to get mail he'd already gotten back with his ex and moved her in. I'm so happy I got out and that I'm healing it doesnt even hurt anymore just something I think about from time to time cause it still baffles me that people that evil actually exist.
I am very happy that I have my son who will be here very soon and I'll make sure to protect him at all cost against the person I know his father is.
Evil has existed on earth since the Garden.
@@brendarewan7441 that's true but was my first time experiencing energy that dark, so it confused me. I'm careful to stay away from it now. Got married to literally the most amazing man ever this year and I'm living my best life now.
He's too old now for a new supply replacement, shes 22 years younger than him, he thinks he hit the jackpot.
They both cheated to be together. 2 narcs together.
2 narcs together will not work. I've read about that bcse I wondered if my ex married a RICH narc. I don't believe they are doing too good together. Besides, who cares? They're gone from our lives!
This is probably one of the best videos I've watched on narcissism. Described my relationship or should I say "transaction" to a T.
My ex narc is with the NS that he cheated on me with. They have been together for about 2 years now. I believe that she is also a narc and I picture them staying together for a long time. She caters to him and tolerates his abuse because she has no self esteem and she needs him to help her financially. He will stay because he can't handle being alone for any length of time and he can be abusive to her and she will reward him with sex regardless. She is a downgrade on many levels and he is miserable but will keep up the illusion because he is getting the attention and sex that are the main fuels that he needs in order to feel that his needs are being met in order for him to stay with her. It's a very dysfunctional relationship and I'm just glad that they are with each other and not damaging a truly good person's life with their toxicity.
Diane Tracey how do you know that the NS is catering to him and all those other things? Just curious is all...
Very similar situation and thoughts...I hope they keep each other away from normals.
@@valariemundy2012 still have many mutual friends with the ex and the ones that know the truth about him had told me that
Diane Tracey oh I see. I was just curious. It’s like my soon to be ex Narc husband has dropped off the face of the earth.... a friend of mine went on his FB page just to lurk and she told me that his last post was Nov 11th. I told her he probably has his page on private Im quite sure. She says the predator friends list is 98% women. I can’t wait to start this divorce. My discard was September 21st and NC since October 23rd. Court ordered NC due to a 2 time domestic violence abuse issue with me, not including a history of it throughout 30 years of his life. I’m wife 5....🤮
@@valariemundy2012 one of my best friends who is married to my ex narc's best friend. I met her and her husband through my ex and we spent alot of time together as couples throughout the 8 years that I was with my ex. She has seen alot and her and I have remained close friends after I discarded him. Her husband knows that we are still very good friends and I have no problem with her husband. I don't ever speak about my ex in front of her husband and she doesn't share with her husband discussions that her and I have about the narc and his NS. She knows certain things about their relationship aka illusion as the ex narc and his NS do occasionally spend time with them and go camping with them. She doesn't like the NS and neither does her husband but they tolerate her because of the long time friendship that they have with my ex. I rarely bring them up in conversation with her as I discarded him over 2 years ago and have been no contact for over a year. The only time they come up in conversation is because of the NS and her unhealthy obsession and jealousy over me. She is extremely insecure and views me as a threat even though I have never given her a reason to feel that way. I believe that he is triangulating her and targeting her insecurities as a form of abuse. He has told his friends and the NS that I will always be the love of his life and he would come back to me in a second if I ever wanted to be back with him. I can only hope that he holds his breath while he waits for that moment that will never ever happen. I'm happy to be narc free and I believe that the downgraded NS is his karma.
Thank you !!!!! You have been an true angel in my healing journey and are absolutely right with the new suppy my ex husband new suppy is a absolute nightmare just how I used to be when we were married a ragging nightmare. I actually feel sorry for her.... and so the nightmare lives on in her now!!!
This was so spot on. Thank you Mel. BTW...you look as beautiful as ever.
This is the first time i can say: my ex really is a narc. Everything you’re saying, has been done by my ex. I’m mind blown.
Melanie, your program has absolutely changed my life❤
Thank you so much for this video. I was discarded 2 of Jan after setting bounderies. 2 days later i was replaced with an another women... i really need this video right now. thank you.
So sad that the new supply has no clue what they are about to endure. Knowing that someone else will get tortured is difficult intel to carry. I wish I wasn’t so empathetic!
@@jillscornavacco3310 I'm empathetic but not towards people who are selfish and inconsiderate.
I went through these cycles with my ex husband for 8 years until one day he didn’t come home with no explanation.
A blessing he didnt come home!
Immature low self confidence it's a clown show. Very sad. Glad I got out early after about a month.
YournotrealYoursoreal / // same
I heard this phrase: a whole clown.” This makes me laugh so hard! 😂😂😂
Thank you Melanie, this video is very helpful. I am healing and moving forward but yes he has a new supply and the illusion of it has been bothering me terribly especially since she is doing more with my children and is now going to family events it’s just very real that it’s over but I know it is a blessing but just dealing with the pain and thank you thank you it’s a great video! Blessings and love and light! ✨🌞🙌
I divorced my ex 9 years ago after 16 yers together. He left me for a uni-student and has divorced her already and now has moved in with my ex best friend (she's a severe co-dependant). I remain single to this day in fear of meeting another narcissist, Everything in your video is my ex to a tee - however I didn't realise there were 3 levels to narcissism. I feel like a load has lifted from me all these years later learning about Cerebral High Functioning Narcissism. Gratitude - Ill be passing this video onto Wife No 2 and another of my friends who has been through divorce courts for EIGHT years with a HFC Narcissist. Wow!
Hun, I'd love you to check out my free 16 Day Course. There is no need to live in fear of narcissists. My Course is a great place to begin working on this and stepping forward powerfully in your new life of freedom. www.youcanthriveprogram.com/freecourse Love and blessings xoxox
Our 15 year old daughter got involved with a class B personality. I think he is more than a narc but a social path. He loved bomb her big time, lied about his age, he was 18.
He quit his job to groom her full time. He would take up every minute of her day. Once we set boundaries and she turned 16 he made her choose her family, friends and interest, her horse over him. We tried to speak to his mother but she was a narcissist herself and her son could do know wrong. He was extremely abusive to us, would fight her male friends.
I saw my beautiful daughter change from a happy healthy girl to a girl who started pulling her hair out, extreme weight loss, she would rock herself back and forth. Extreme emotional breakdowns, she started shaking all the time. As her mom it was so difficult, she would cover for him, make excuses for his bad behaviour.
After 2 years she finally got the strength to leave him. It's been a year now and she is just starting to feel and act like her old self. She graduated, got a job. She got her license and bought a car.
This kid still calls her from blocked number to say he loves her, or hates her. He has a new girlfriend since May but still will not stop his calling, threatening any new boys she goes out with on dates. He keyed my daughters car last week and put sugar in her gas tank. He also tried to run me off the road with his car.
After this he had the nerve to send nudes to our daughter saying he loved her and wanted to pick her up so they could get married! 🤪 I was so proud of her she said he'll no sent the nudes and texts of his to his new supply.
We have installed security cameras around our property as he comes around late at night to do his dirty work. Hope we get the proof we need to hopefully put an end to his abusive ways, they never stop trying to hurt you. Healing is a journey, it will take time but you will get stronger. Once you realize and learn all you can about class B people you will never allow someone to do this to you again. Stay strong Empaths!
Your words are so powerful and you present it with such a kind spirit and calm voice/tone. This video helped! Thanks
When you said self-medicating that was the key word for me and also what you said about them cruelly flaunting the new/old supply in your face and overly making it seem picture prefect and you're sitting there like why would you even be doing that no real genuine person would even do that to an ex or especially play with somebody's emotions time over time let's just say I found out some information via internet and this is the last straw for me not getting stucked back in when the fake emergencys I need you right now text and calls come ❌❌❌
I was not discarded i broke up with him. And he tried to get me back for over 1 year.
This video could not have come at a better time. It has been about 8 months since I found out about the new supply. He posted their pictures on his FB profile, which he has never done before.
Her birthday is coming up this Sunday, and Im feeling jealous that he may do something really romantic for her and make it a special day for her. Im going back and forth in my head, on one hand Im relieved that this no good loser is out of my life, and thank ful for the new supply, on the other hand Im starting to feel a sick feeling of jealousy with her bitthday coming up😔
My ex never wanted to post pictures of us on social media. Once he found someone 20 years younger, every picture was of the two of them. Its a big illusion. Dont buy into it.
I love your channel! Thank you so much!!Blessings!!💞👣🤗🙏😘😊🙋take care and safe!
I don't stalk my narc. In fact I fucking despise mine. I have for a very long time.
hi Mel!
I’ve been listening to you for about five years. You’ve helped me through so much. I was in a relationship with a man who is verbally and emotionally and sometimes physically abusive. I had been in a long-term relationship like that before which lasted 20 years. I grew up in a very volatile household with lots of fighting and yelling.
I am now in a relationship with a very healthy man.
After listening to this video I am afraid that it may be me that is the narcissist. I feel like I need lots of approval and admiration. I am having a hard time relaxing and just loving him. It’s scaring me a bit, is there hope for me?
Hi Nancy,
I'm happy to help sweetheart. Here is a resource that can help: blog.melanietoniaevans.com/am-i-the-narcissist/ Love and blessings xoxox
Melanie Tonia Evans ❤️
Oh Melanie, thank you so much. That really helped.
So many times you post something that is exactly what I needed to hear. I do feel like I’m evolving.
I really don’t think I could have gotten here without you. Just to have a place to go when I need strength and calm and positivity and I can visit your UA-cam channel
A million thanks!!!
Bless Nancy and am so pleased that I could help xoxox
Thank you for what you do Melanie. You are changing my life. God bless you for your good works. You are saving victims of NPD and you are exceptionally compassionate and authentic Your knowledge about NPD and how you deliver each topic you present has helped me, my healing begins from within and you have been my life line to reach in to find my true self.
Love at first sight she said.
He’s 23 years younger.
She’s moved him in but can’t leave my sons
Why do they jump from person to person within days and then claim it’s serious and rush into marriage after only a few months? So hard to protect kids involved.
I have both of them blocked and have had for over a year. Although I keep looking at the blocked profile pictures to see if they're married yet. Deep down I know he's just using her as servants service while I was used as a stepping stone to get him where he wanted to go in life ( I'm still reaping the financial repercussions) and that if he can treat me with such contempt... he has it built into his character enough that he'll treat others/new supply the same way. But there's still that part of me that just thinks that she's going to get the best ( of which I never did get much of, more the idealization/ future faking). He told me in the end how he now has all the things that he withheld from me such as time, money, someone to leave things to ( his debt lol) when he dies, etc...He is 54 and she is literally half his age. They've been together for over a year now and she just looks so happy and sweet in the blocked profile picture. I stay away/ no contact as I know that that is wrong for me ( as I deserve better) and them. He now has a place of his own and I know he's not accountable enough to take care of his new house or our dog he took from me (one of his forms of punishment to me) by himself ( he has 3 dwi's, is alcoholic and a job hopper) so he has to have someone to help him out. I didn't have any family so he got away with treating me poorly for way too long. I had to file to have him evicted from my home it got so bad..major narc injury, but with her he has plenty of extra supply because she has a lot of family. So I think that if he treats her poorly her family is gonna stand up for her. I never had that kind of support! So does that mean he won't do anything to her? I mean I hate to wish bad on others but I want other people to see him for what he really is. I pray that God give her wisdom and discernment. I'm still alone and he deserves to be alone forever as he is a soul sapping monster that knows that I know what he is ( covert narcissist) so he hates me for fear of exposure of which I know better as its not worth the drama and narcs are pathological liars that set up old used up supply premeditatively so with their reactive abuse of which I fell for one too many times before I was just exhausted and had enough.
All I've seen is one photo wear he looks like he's up to something devilish and another where he is mirroring her. I see it clear as day now,the smoke and mirrors. It was somehow different with me,he rarely mirrored me but instead continually tried to work me out and then awhile ago stole my identity. It's hard to explain to other people so I just don't bother now,I know what happened and I understand who did what and why because I observed it all. It's like hell on earth with that lot,his lot are definitely not my sort of people but after all this abuse and mind games,it's shown me so much about who and what the majority of people in this life are.....cowards and followers of lies.
This video is very educational, helpful and informative thank you for sharing your video. This is how I get through my healing is by listening to these videos.
This video is very helpful, and on point.
U are right about that 😉💯💯💯 so true they don't know what love is far from it I know I was with someone who was like that 😭.
Thank you Melanie,very helpful video😊
What If they were friends with the new supply for many years and are now claiming they realize she is the one and they are right for each other and are extremely happy?
Not real. Still fake. Same Narc, same behavior, same cycle of abuse.
Had this ACTUALLY happen the same way. She told me she had been friends with him for years but I never really had any suspicion or thoughts about questioning anything about that. I was happy she had friends cause she told me about how hurtful her marraige and divorce was and an alleged boyfriend previously that tried to take her lug nuts off her truck. She thinks I'm jealous if her supply but I think I've caught on and got discarded for now. Cause she recently talked to me after telling me not too. I guess I'm part of that same cycle! Sucks.and honestly in my heart I trusted this gal. It makes it hard cause I never guessed she would pull it on me like that. I just never seen it coming.
Great video!!!! Thanks a lot it really helped
100% Correct
He is nice to her because he learned it from me.
Together after 2 years and still happy.
It happens.
And oh he is a real diagnosted narc not the hip version
Time doesn't equal happiness though there's no telling what happens behind closed doors
Chris Boyd True. There are lots of comments on you tube from people who have been in these relationships for years and suffer.
How do you know how happy they are? Me and my ex narc seemed happy after years too, nobody knew how I had developed depression, daily anxiety and panic, no one knew how drained and frustrated I was. It was all for the show. We went out as a happy couple but I was a living zombie.
How long were you with the narc? We’re you happy? The new supply isn’t better than you. The new supply is just that-new supply.
Thank you . You are wonderful
You’ve saved my life..
My narc con man never posts pictures of woman on his Facebook he doesn't want anyone to know he's with a partner. One time I posted our wedding photo and he deleted it red flag I should have seen but he's good at gaslighting.
Thank u 🙏🏼 needed this
Thank you so much for this
My ex narc married his new supply. A 25 year old. He is 54. He has always been a perfert. 15 months of no contact and i never heard from him again. I am done and over it.
Trust. You won honey. Learn the lesson.
Love ur cat in the back
Love the cat in the back ❤
Excellent video Blessings
Thank you so much
I dont know why someone would be worried about the narcissist and their new supply.
i was looking around at my wife's social media, i think it was tumblr, not sure how, where she said, "hope you're not like me, let the perfect tall dark handsome get away, she was actually referring to a bartender she had a one night with when she went out and didn't come home. I put it down to just saying silly things, now i find out she is a narcissist. What a cruel thing to say in public forums etc.
Good afternoon to you from Palmerston North New Zealand. I remember that you said that Tiffy has only one eye now and become a pirate. Does this mean that you have set the Jolly Roger for him with scull and cross bones. Does he have buried treasure in the back yard. Also does he have a ration of rum??
Ha Ha! Thanks for that Robin! Love and blessings xoxox
Urrrgh I’ve just had a 3 yr hoovering by my narc. 3 months ago someone else became his supply and I’ve been kicked into touch. Agaaaiiin! Why do they have such a hold over us?
Hun, the answer here is that there is a real trauma bond and those are very hard to sever. The way through this is to detach completely and come inside to tend to the traumas in you, and these can be subconscious and we cannot know what those are until we do the work on the soul level. My free 16 Day course can help you to do this sweetheart, and I'd love for you to come on in whenever you feel ready to: melanietoniaevans.com/freecourse Love and blessings xoxox
What if the new supply is a narcissist as well?
Beautiful
Awesome. Thanks
Thank you sweetie! I've told how the cow ate the cabbage and how the horse ate the apple!!I cut them off my money,Codependenty he is, we are like room mates , I wish he would leave, I would but do have funding nor a ride! I stand boldly on my boundaries.thank you sweetie!! Blessings!!!🙋🙋😘😘🙏🙏👣🤗😊.I also told him get another tired of his bullshit of 15yrs the last 4 yrs has been hell.and still keep prayers going up! I also told him I forgive him , not for him but for me!!!🙏🙏🙏😘😘🙋🙋👣👣🤗😊Independence Baby!!Love myself#1
What to do when he keep going back-and-forth Between me and his ex He tells is X lies and she Sees the proof on my phone and still will take him back They have broken up 9 times in this year Will come and tell me it's over for good weather and then I find out they're talking again and I'm the one that gets left and on the 1 telling the truth
My ex "girlfirend" even though we were never really a couple, used to always forbid me from hanging out with my friends saying things like "who's more important" and also forbid me from doing hobbies by saying I was being a jerk by "not putting her first." Whenever I would have enough sand say I wanted to leave she would always try and form up some kind of army against me. I would just submissively agree and say I'm sorry for letting you down, all just to keep the peace. I also believed I belonged with her. Now she thinks I'm a loser for not getting"back with her" and is trying to turn all of my friends against me. Shes always saying I'll never find someone like her , but that's the point. What kind of stupid idiot was I. I have so much self hate now.
Alec P take NARP! And heal... self forgiveness is crucial so you can regain your self worth.
What if they get into an arranged marriage :/ Wouldn’t they have WAY more incentive to treat their new partner well this time since families and pressure from society is involved...
Emotional poverty... all narcs suffer that
How do they treat them?
GREAT!!
These blogs give us FALSE HOPE
I’m sick of it
Hahaha ... I didn't see the kitty for the first 6 minutes.